The worst experience with a hoe...

This was about ten years ago during college. I will never forget this shit. I met this really tight Colombian and Brazilian mixed chick...pretty as hell..phat ass...perfect titties..six pack...long ass hair down to her waste...this chick was the definition of a dime physically. I ran into her on campus a couple of times..spit a little a game at her and I told her I would stop by her dorm room. I visited her a couple of days later. Well, we start to fuck around just a bit..I had her on the floor taking her shirt off and then her roommates comes back to the room...kind of throws off the mood. I rolled out. I called her a couple of days later. She tells me that her roommate went back home for the weekend. Cool. I decided to roll through the next night.

So we chill for a minute. Then I get to it. I start undressing her and shit. I take of my jacket and start to get ready to handle my biz. I now have her down to her panties and bra. Then I hit me.. I had to take a piss. So I go to her bathroom to take a piss before I go and tag. Now, as I take a piss I look over to the right side of her toilet because I smelled something. What do I see: This bitch left some dirty panties on the side of the toilet with the biggest shit stain I have ever seen in my life :puke: :puke: :puke: . Man..it looked like someone dipped a paint brush in hot shit and went to work on her panties :puke:

Then I started to think about how dirty her dorm room was and thought about some other shit she did last time I was there. When I was in her room the last time before her roommate busted in... we were talking and in the middle of a conversation this bitch just dug up her nose like it was nothing and kept talking...didnt miss a beat. I ignored that shit because the chick was so fine but I was thinking...wft. I should have known then, but this chick was physically a perfect ten and I wanted to smash.

But after them dirty ass panties..I came out of the bathroom..made some bullshit excuse and rolled out... damn shame a woman so fine could be so damn nasty.
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol: your killing me right now stoppppppppppppppppppppppppp it.
 
Not a stank episode, but kinda funny.

I was in Oklahoma at this club, about 5 crown and cokes down when I started thinking about Richard Pryor saying how 'Ugly bitches got the best pussy'. So I spot this sista that with the lights dim was reasonably ugly, so I stepped to her and talked her into coming to my motel. Now this chick had a dime body, So I can't wait to get her to the room to see if Rich knew what he was talking about, so we made it and the crown had worn down to about 3 strong when I turn on the room light and take a good look at this chick I was like :eek: Good Lord! this woman is UUUUUgly. So we strip down, and mind you, I just could'nt stop laughin at how ugly she really was, so I'm tapping my dick on her pussy trying to get stiff and just when I was about there she comes out with; " Baby I know I aint much to look at but I want some of that dick", I just :roflmao: , had to tell her to get dressed, that I just could'nt do it because I was'nt feeling well. Took her home, and still laugh about that shit to this day.

FUNNY

:roflmao:...I wonder if she(the monster) posted some shit about you on SOL saying how "This knucka claimed he had a Headache", gurl please!:roflmao:

Great Post:D
 
#2

Couldn't make this shit up if i wanted to.......Back in high school, my boy was fuckin' with this hoe out in the burbs...she was supposed to be mad crazy about black dick cause there wasn't none out where she was at...word was niggas was coming in by the van load on weekends to hit that shit....(father worked nights)..so my boy turned me and the fellas on to her (he had went on a previous visit) and one weekend we all load up in the 86 Chevy Astro (ya'll remember that shit) and roll out east to see what the hype is about....so we get their and my boy is like, let me go hook it up, ya'll wait here....so he go in and get things started..he come back out about 10 minutes later and say it's a go.....so we all hop out (five of us) and get ready to get our shit on....we go up to her room and we're outside the door standin in line like she handing out food stamps or somethin....she open the bedroom door butt ass naked and says she's only taking two at a time (suck one/fuck one style)....my boy had owed me a favor on a previous hook up so i was bumped to the front of the line, and he went in with me...he was like, "you can have dem guts, I hit a few weeks ago." i was like "bet", she was heading toward the bed and i was pulling out my shit and strappin up...she turned doggy-style and it was on....i grabbed that ass from behind, no warm up stroke, just started to ramrod that shit....a few minutes later, i was heating up to blow my load and i felt something like sand paper on my thigh...i thought it was my shirt scratching me or something, so i didn't think nothing about it, i keep fuckin'...a few seconds later i feel it again...i look down and to my surprise, it was a fuckin' cat lickin' my leg...it had hopped up on the seat of the chair next to me and started fuckin trying to sex me up....i was like what the fuck!!??...i pull out of her and turn around and just as i did, the condom started swinging around, so the fuckin' cat started trying to paw at it....i pulled that shit off threw it in the corner and the cat fuckin' goes after it....about this time, my boy sees this shit and is rollin' like "what the fuck is you doin?"...i said "there's a fuckin cat"....as i'm pullin up my shit, she finishes him off and is like "she ain't going to hurt you, she just likes to watch.."....i'm like, "whatever, i'm done"...and start walkin' out..they are both laughin' their asses off, and i'm out the door headin' back to the van...i'm tellin' the other niggas as i pass by, "you better watch yo shit, there's a fuckin' freaky ass cat up there..."...moral of the story, always ask about pets before going to some strange new pussy....

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
:lol::lol: i think funniest threads i read in a while, so i'll add some fuel...........

Back in my junior year in highschool, i copped my first wipp (sundance LOL) and aint nobody had a car so i was gettin it in every where.. I was gettin att this badd lil african shorty, azz and tidday for days! went to her crib and she had like 7 bros and sisters runnin around her lil crib so i knew i wasnt gunna be able to smash there so we get in my ride and found a spot and as im giving her the finger test and slide the drawzz off this stench smacked me in my face of a dirrrty ass fart:puke: Anyways that instantly got me out of the mood and told her i had to go babysit lol... So i walk in to a wegmans grocery store at like 12 am to wash my damn hands cuz the stench was just lingering in the wipp..I must have washed my hands for like 15mins,underneath the fingernails and all, right after im hungry as hell and stop by wendys and right as i'm about to put a nugget in my mouth the smell came right back and i lost my appetite..:puke:

I also remember one time messin with this girl in college and as we spooning in my bed with my boxers on, i go to my bathroom to grab a rubber and see in the mirror str8 up doo doo stains on the fly part of my white boxers:puke::puke::angry::angry:...Never understood why byches would wanna fuck wit anybody when they know there hygene aint on point..luckily i will never experience that type of shyt ever again.
 
The most scarring thing to happen to me was back in the day when I was a youngster.

I walked down to this girls house that stayed 2 streets down from me and convinced her to come back to the crib.

We get back to my house and i'm sucking on her tits and slowly but surely taking her panties down from her skirt.

I start finger fucking this bitch and I started to smell something.

I pull my fingers out this bitches pussy and almost passed the fuck out from the smell.

I go to hand the bitch her panties and see a shit stain that looked like she didn't wipe her ass at all.

Shortly afterwards I got a dbl cheeseburger from Mcdonalds and attempted to it the shit and threw up because the got damn smell had stained my fucking fingers.

The shit lasted for a got damn week(yea nigga I washed and bathed everyday).

That was years ago and to this day I sometimes have flashbacks when I put my two fingers to my face.

She graduated from a private university in Oklahoma, is an AKA and is pre-med.

Engaged I believe and living in DC.

No matter what she does in life she will always be remember as skid to me and my boys.

What you got to top that?

:eek::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
so i was about 2 bang this chick...it was her first time (virgin). so i don't know, i guess it was some kinda nervous reaction that she had...but we got butt ass naked....about 2 get down 2 business...then she says "hold on, i gotta use the bathroom". Kinda killed the moment, but i was like...ok whatever....it wasn't nothing 2 get the mood going again.....so she was a virgin so she was resisting...big time...finally we was like....let's try doggystyle, maybe that'll be easier 4 you. So she turned around....arched the back.....i got up behind her.....and then it hit me.....the smell of SHIT!!! That's when i realized her "nervous reaction" from a few mins ago....she went 2 go take a shit.....and then she ain't even wipe good!!!! and ugh.....man......i couldn't do it anymore.....i told her 2 put her clothes on and "try another day" and i never saw her again ; /

Home girl must have had some dinosaur arms :lol::lol::lol:
Trex.jpg
 
kinda funny...

smashed this chick in brooklyn (we was drinking), fell asleep in her crib...woke up and its gray outside....so im like oh shit...got in the whip and drove home...get in the crib bout to take a leak, and i still had the rubber on...aint that a bitch
 
kinda funny...

smashed this chick in brooklyn (we was drinking), fell asleep in her crib...woke up and its gray outside....so im like oh shit...got in the whip and drove home...get in the crib bout to take a leak, and i still had the rubber on...aint that a bitch

:hmm:
 
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I'm about to share a long story y'all... so feel free to Colin Powell my ass.
This is at least 2 years old, but I'ma set it up and walk y'all thru it...
Ok, I'm 22 goin on 23 and she is 26 w/ three kids. I met her on my way home on public transpo. We small talked, vibed, etc. etc. One day soon after I met her I asked, "How hard is it for you to get time for yourself?", considering that she worked and had three young children...(Oh wait, lemme give y'all the background on the kids, they are like 6, 4, and 18 months when I met her. All by the same nigga so I'm thinking "ok, at least she ain't make the same mistake more than once with 3 different niggas". OH SO HOW I WAS MISTAKEN. Also told me that the last time she had sex was when the 18 mo. old was conceived, which was the last time she was with her baby-daddy. She fine y'all, to have 3 kids, got like 3 stomach stretch marks though. With a cute face too, and a cute little attitude that made it easy to joke around.)
Ok, back to the story, she takes me asking her that question as me wanting to see her. So, she take initiative and ask when I'm free and she walked to my apt. to kick it (I was living in a townhouse at the time, more than enough space for just me).
After about a week and a half from meeting her we were at my crib joking around and just chillin' and start playing and some kinda way the sexual tension came out, I don't wear a shirt when I'm at home and I think she said something about it. Basically, said something about 'tempting', so I fuck with her about it since she left herself open for it. I start playing w/ her neck then rubbing....then all of a sudden she get on top of me and start grinding her pussy on my dick, with our clothes still on, grinding hard and long while kissing and licking on my neck. Like I had opened the flood gates.
So, from then on we fucking. She was never my girl, I made this clear which she didn't like but had to accept in order to fuck w/ me. I'ma real player, honest about everything and if you don't like it.....Bitch Walk!
So, I got this other little younger lady, that lives in the same apt complex with her older brother and female cousin.
Since, we have two chicks, lets designate some names....Chick 1 with the three kids = Tori, Nice young lady = Spelman.
So spelman is like 2 years younger than me with no kids and in school, just like me. Spelman, is fine as hell too, her hip to waist ratio was nice. But she was just too nice, she wanted love.....more on that later.
Anyway, I told both of 'em that I didn't wanna be with 'em but they stayed around. I knew Spelman first, and after fucking for a while we agreed to be platonic friends because we were just too cool together.
Now, back to Tori, she came along and I told her about Spelman, and even told her that we fucked since Tori and I had met, she ain't like that, but she had to accept it.
Moving along, as I got to know more about Tori, her true colors started to show. She was irresponsible w/ a number of things. It was customary for me to come over her house, not to far from mine, after I got home from being in the street around 1-2am. One night I get there, I had a key, walk in and its dark...What the ??? She's laying there on the couch face down, it was winter so when I walked in I also noticed that the heat didn't hit me in the face.... the power was off!!! She fessed up, but I was disappointed that she ain't tell me ahead of time, for the kids sake. Good that the kids weren't there, she sent 'em to her mother's house. So, I give her money for the bill ($280) and spending money ($75) until she get her check, she pays me back in installments, until its paid in full. But, other stuff like instead of saving, the day she paid me off in full, she bought all the kids shoes...And bought herself 2 pair! That wasn't necessary to me. Then there was a car situation thats so in dept that I'm gonna shorten it by saying.... Baby-daddy's uncle gave her a car, she ain't get it in her name, and was just driving around w/ uncles plates on it after he asked her to change it..... He came and took the keys :hmm: while I was there :hmm:
That was it, I was out. She officially had her pink slip, so I told her why that night after Uncle left, who is also a pastor, we had a heart to heart. I explained that I can't take on her responsibilities for her and that I expected her to be more responsible seeing as how she has 3 lives to care for.
2 weeks later she text message me that we need to talk....I inquire and she texts me back that she's pregnant..........

OK, its Saturday and I got shit to do so I'ma run through this as fast as possible for y'all.

OK, it was a bitch move telling me she pregnant via text message and then she calls the next day asking me, "what you wanna do?" We had already talked about how I felt about abortions... I don't believe in 'em. So, I was like, "I'ma man baby....I can handle this." I'll never forget these words she said to me, "Yeah, but the choice is there, just not to be abused." This got me to thinking and after 2 days we talk again and I say I agree with her, only now she done changed her mind. She's telling me stuff like, "I don't know if I wanna kill my baby." Just 48 hours earlier you were on this other shit!?! WTF??!!
So this creates more civil unrest, tension, fussing etc. A few weeks go by and with more talks and explaining she say she'll go to get abortion if I'll make appointment. I made an appointment, she don't wanna go to that one 'cuz she don't know about 'em. She wanna go to the one that her friend went to....I make an appointment there, I know I made at least 3 different appointments, all 2 weeks apart. The day of the final appointment came and her dad had came in town from California, I don't think he knew she was pregnant yet. So they were spending time together and she said that she'd get him to take her, and she stopped answering her phone.
We didn't talk for some months or so, because I thought she went through with it and was still upset that she ain't answer her phone.
She end up calling me for something, and I ask if she went to the appointment and she confessed that she hadn't.... I was IRATE AS HELL. WHAT THE FUCK, AND YOU JUST NOW TELLING ME WHEN YOU TWO MONTHS?!?!?! She saying stuff like, I didn't wanna kill my baby...etc etc. "But this...But that.... You was pressuring me and stressing me out thats why I stopped answering the phone". Now she wanna make it work, invite me over to talk. She wasn't showing yet. I made her suck my dick and fucked the shit out of her, AFTER I MADE HER FEEL HORRIBLE DURING THE TALK WE HAD. She couldn't suck dick good, but she loved the STRONG dick fucking her hard.
I did that a few more times and cut her off totally again. Stopped calling and everything, my buddies telling me "you better go see that bitch, see if she really pregnant. She might just be fucking w/ you." Two different of my friends told me that, and one of 'em finally saw her at the gas station he worked at and told me that she was showing. Then the two different friends were saying that "it probably ain't yours". These niggas don't even know each other, so it was sinking in. After a some months, she calls and leaves a voicemail saying that "I had your baby, I'm at the hospital in ### room, on ## floor." I take some time to myself, get dressed, go down there. I called the number back she called from and got no answer, so I just went to the room she told me to. I walk in and her other baby-daddy, whom I had never met in person, was sitting there beside the bed with the remote, just clicking away like he ain't never seen cable before!!! WHATS UP WIT THAT???
I wasn't mad 'cuz I didn't know the nigga and he wasn't why I was there. She was surprised by me, but let me hold the baby and I sat there for a while holding the baby and staring at her(the baby). The bitch gon' ask me "you alright?" then turn to the other nigga and ask him "you alright?" The fuck is up with that? The whole time I was there, he never got up.
I needed a break, some fresh air, so I got up and dipped for a few minutes. Called a nurse buddy and asked how long do I have to wait to get the DNA test, she says I can ask the doctor to do it while they were still at the hospital. I thought this over for a few days, wasn't sure of how to ask for a DNA test, wasn't sure of her reaction, and wasn't sure if I even wanted her to know. By the time I was ready for the DNA test, she was out the hospital. So I arranged to pick the baby up one Saturday about a month or so later. I got back to my crib and the DNA man was waiting on me.... I still got his card
DNA MOBILE
*Paternity Testing
*Private/Affordable
*Fast Results
*Private & Court Admissible Testing
He took the swabs....waited 2 weeks..................and
THE BABY WASN'T MINE :confused: :D :yes: :( :angry: :smh: :puke: ;) :eek: :cool: :rolleyes: :hmm: :lol: :dance: :mad: :p :o :groupwave :dunno: :wepraise:
when he told me over the phone I felt every one of those emotions

To end it, what the brother said earlier in this thread about "dealing w/ women of low character and with no self discipline being a reflection of yourself" is so true. So I still kick myself in the ass for even dealing with her, because my even being in that situation is a reflection of my bad judge of character..... Even though I came out of it with minimal damage, I wasn't unscathed.

What's up, Nappy?
 
Ya she was..... read part 2.

Oh yea, left out the part about her waking me up by riding me raw. The first time it happened, I pushed her off me. She did it again another day and I pulled out before I came.
She was always saying she didn't like the feel of condoms, so I switched brands, switched to non-latex, same issue. She wanted to go raw, and would ask me shit like "you don't trust me?" while I'm IN the pussy! "Why don't you trust me?" I told her, "I do, just not with my life."

So she was a hoe, because she had to have been fucking her baby-daddy raw around the same time she manipulated me into going raw. :hmm:

...
 
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Back in highschool my home boy was like this freak ass bitch was trying to get fucked so I said lets roll.Its me him and his older cousin.We get to tha house and this nigga knocks but no one answers.So this motherfucka just opens tha door and walks in.He tells me and his cousin that she said we could come in and wait for her.So we chilling and shit but this bitch still ain't back after 30 mins.She live in a townhouse and we chilling in tha living room.After awhile we get hungry and shit.We start seeing what she got in tha fridge but ALL THAT SHIT WAS FUCKED UP.Food look like it been their since tha 80s.Appetite was gone like a motherfucka after that.So we just sitting there watching tv when we hear a car pull up.We run to tha window to see who it was.It was some white dude but we didn't know where he was going cause tha parking wasn't right in front of tha house it was away from tha house.So dude starts heading toward tha house so we like oh shit thats her dad.Three black niggaz in some white girls house and she nowhere in sight.NOT A GOOD LOOK AT ALL.So we start panicking trying to figure out where to go.I see tha window and run and open it and start to climb out.Tha ground was like right there so all I had to do was stick my feet out and I was on tha ground.But these dumb niggaz get scared and run up tha stairs.Me being a dumb ass I followed them.We run all tha way upstairs into tha last room which was hers.MAN THAT WAS SCARIEST FUCKING SIGHT I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.This bitch was into witchcraft and she had all types of demonic shit written all up on tha wall.Man we started freaking out not because her dad was in tha house but because of all that scary ass shit in her room.Man it was like we stepped into hell.Everywhere we looked we saw something that was just fucked up and shouldn't be in a normal girls room.We knew tha bitch was weird but this was some other shit.So we in tha room scared shitless and we hear her dad come up stairs and then it got quiet.We just sat there not moving for like 30 mins.After a while we like fuck that we gotta get tha hell out of this damn scary ass room.So my boy tip toes to tha stairs to see where dude is at.We finally can hear that he is in his room tha floor below.So we wait for my boy to come back but that nigga pulled a fast one and dipped off.So me and his cousin were like fuck that.We took one last look around that room and we started creeping down tha stairs.As we get close to her fathers door he starts walking towards it so we just break tha fuck out making all types of noise running down tha stairs with our heavy ass timbs on.We left tha door open and just ran till we couldn't run no more.IN tha end we find out this stupid motherfucka lied about tha bitch saying we could come over.We wanted to beat his ass.Man I'll never forget that room in my life.That shit was like tha Blair witch when they were up in that cabin hiding. :smh::smh::lol::lol:
Then like tha next day tha bitch asks us are we trying to chill at her crib.Me and boy just look at each other like bitch fuck no.

I know this ain't tha normal stank puss story but I had to get this shit off my mind.If you would have seen that room that shit would have fucked you up to.Like tha feeling of evil just hit you as soon as you stepped through that bitch.I would have rather been caught by tha police then have been in that room. :smh::smh::smh::smh::smh:
 
Worst experience was with this chick who I met at this nursing home my boy worked at. She was decent. We hooked up a couple of times she didn't wanna give me the puss. Finally got the chance to get the pussy. I'm feeling her up kissing on her, I take off her bra and sit on the bed and start sucking her titties while she's standing up. I work on the right breast then move over to the left soon as I got a good suction on the left aureole; I felt a hair on my tongue. :puke:

I got fucked up I never knew girls grew hair on their tits. I had to stop and go spit. Told her some story about me not wanting to do this to her because she was a good girl, put on my shit and bounced and never came back.

A hair? :confused:


Shid, I fucked a bitch with 3 nipples. I ain't even bullshittin'.

The pussy was good and soft & wet. She made sure I came, made it a point to after she got hers. Like she took pride in it.


I reckon she was borderline fat, but she had a little waist. Shit didn't really make no sense. And she didn't have no cellulite, which I thought she would have for her size. She said she was about 160, and I guess she was tall for a girl, at least 5'9".
 
9 Years ago while I was in college, I met this older broad who was in my sociology class who “claimed” she was divorced from her husband. She was about 31 and I was 19 and she was a straight MILF with two kids, so basically she & I hooked up while in a study group and got real close. Long story short, I’m spending the night over this chick’s house one Friday night about 10:30 pm, and we’re lying in her bed in the dark and I’m in my boxers in the bed with ol’ girl just chattin after fuckin or what not.

All of a sudden I hear a noise coming from her front door: BOOM!!! BOOM!!! BOOM!!! She ignores it and just keeps talking, then the noise stops and I hear a really loud BOOM!!! And some dude is shooting a gun off throughout the house yelling at the top of his lungs. She claims it’s her “estranged” husband and I had better disappear ASAP!!! I then try to get my clothes on before he finds me, climb out the window (lucky for me it’s a two-family house on the 1st floor), and run through the backyard to civilization.

As I’m climbing the fence I feel a heavy wind fly past my right ear and at the same time I feel it, I see a big-ass hole appear in the very fence I’m climbing. Still scared shitless, I try my best to do a Gale Devers impression while running and hurdling fences until I can get to a main street. It’s the middle of January and it’s about 20 degrees outside and I ended up tearing my coat while being chased, so I had to dump it. Now all I have on is a sweater, jeans, boots, and no socks (I didn’t have time to find them and put them on).

After catching about 2 buses I finally get home at about 1 am, and get up the next morning thinking I had the wildest dream… only to look in my closet to see that the $300 red nautica coat I just bought was not there, and that was when reality set in.

I never saw that bitch again.

Bro, that's some ice cold narrative you just dropped here.

You should write a book mayn!
:yes::yes::yes:

Too bad about the coat though. :smh:
 
DaAssWatcher


We run all tha way upstairs into tha last room which was hers.MAN THAT WAS SCARIEST FUCKING SIGHT I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.This bitch was into witchcraft and she had all types of demonic shit written all up on tha wall.



dis yo gurl



i1mtmh.jpg
 
DaAssWatcher


We run all tha way upstairs into tha last room which was hers.MAN THAT WAS SCARIEST FUCKING SIGHT I EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.This bitch was into witchcraft and she had all types of demonic shit written all up on tha wall.



dis yo gurl



i1mtmh.jpg
:lol::lol::lol::lol:
Nah man.She didn't look like that.You couldn't tell she did shit like that.She dressed like on of them bitches from tha Craft.No one really took it seriously but after that day I don't fuck with broads that dress diffrent from tha normal way of dressing and wearing make up. :smh::smh:
 
Yeah never let the bitch nutt before you do
Depending on the bitch you might get a dead
fuck if she allready nutted.

You shoulda stole something and left.:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
:lol::lol::lol:
Puss so bad you have to steal to make up for it!:lol:
 
Fucked a whore who was on E (Irvings strip club d.c.)

She couldnt stop talking for 2 seconds.

That E pill had that bitch speeding.

I have never had a girl talking while I was fucking her.

It just made me fuck her harder

Needless to say I nutted and robbed the bitch as usual. :dance:

I wonder if that blew the bitches high.

I ran into the bitch at another club she didnt even recognize me.(ebony inn)

Asked if i wanted a lapdance and everything.. Stupid bitch was
about to give me the number again I told her I was going to get
a pen and she never saw me again. She had a monster ass. The
kind of ass niggas go crazy for but the pussy wasnt worth SHIT!!

Just another sorry ass lapdancing bitch with mediocre pussy. :smh:

Wow, I thought I was the only one robbing them at the after party (Tropicana Inn & the Howard Johnson on Branch Ave). Irving's was the spot 95-98!!:yes:
 
Damn, y'all need to learn the beauty of spacing out your paragraphs, easier on the eyes...

Anyhow, couple of lessons I learned the hard way: never let a broad with snaggle puss teeth blow you despite hurting her feelings. I let this horny chick service me before I learned how crystal meth ruins the teeth. :eek:

Even she wasn't as bad as this one Korean broad I hooked up with. What she failed to understand was a blow job is supposed to feel good. This chick thought she was sucking the marrow out of a turkey leg! The shit was so bad she left the fat vein in my cock throbbing. Shit, I don't know anything about medical science, but I thought she could have popped the same vein that gave me the damn hard on. :smh: :smh:

Moral: don't tolerate a bad BJ for nothing!!
 
The most scarring thing to happen to me was back in the day when I was a youngster.

I walked down to this girls house that stayed 2 streets down from me and convinced her to come back to the crib.

We get back to my house and i'm sucking on her tits and slowly but surely taking her panties down from her skirt.

I start finger fucking this bitch and I started to smell something.

I pull my fingers out this bitches pussy and almost passed the fuck out from the smell.

I go to hand the bitch her panties and see a shit stain that looked like she didn't wipe her ass at all.

Shortly afterwards I got a dbl cheeseburger from Mcdonalds and attempted to it the shit and threw up because the got damn smell had stained my fucking fingers.

The shit lasted for a got damn week(yea nigga I washed and bathed everyday).

That was years ago and to this day I sometimes have flashbacks when I put my two fingers to my face.

She graduated from a private university in Oklahoma, is an AKA and is pre-med.

Engaged I believe and living in DC.

No matter what she does in life she will always be remember as skid to me and my boys.

What you got to top that?

None:D
 
Okay there's this girl I've been fucking around with for awhile and like ever since the day we first fucked, I've been saying "you'd be the shit, if you started givin' head".

So one day she tells me that she wanted to try sucking dick and wanted me to be first. So I'm like alright.

I sat on her couch and she got on her knees and leaned in my lap and I should've known she didn't know what the hell she was doin' by the way she pulled my dick out. Like she had it in her hand, like she was about to yank it out, I'm like "Hey, easy, take your time, do it right" and that's also when I said to myself "Ah damn, I ain't gone like this".


So she starts suckin' and needless to say it was terrible. Like she made it a little wet, but then she started blowin' and it made my dick dry 'til it was kinda ashy.

Then she did the most tragic thing that could happen when you have oral sex.

She FUCKIN' BIT ME!!! That shit hurt like fuck. She was like "sorry, are you okay?" I was damn outraged. I didn't want to snap on her, but I didn't want her to keep goin' either.

I'm like "I'm cool, I'm cool" and she kept on going and the whole time, in my mind, I'm prayin' that I make it through this head.

And just when I think she sucking at a good, stable efficient rate, THIS BITCH BIT ME AGAIN!!! THE FUCK MAN!!!??? TWICE!!! TWICE!!! Then her teeth scrapped my head while it was coming out of her mouth. I'm thinking to myself "am I bleeding?......I am...I am bleeding!!!"

She knew she bit me because I trembled when she did it. She's like "I'm so sorry, are you alright?" I'm like "You know what, just forget this, we'll give a try some other day, I gotta go".

To be honest, I felt like crying. I got to my car, got a towel out the trunk, stuff it in my fly, pulled it back out, and saw spots of blood. That's when I started crying.

I remember racing home, pressing the towel into my lap, screaming and singing "Human Nature" by Michael Jackson because it was on the radio but I only knew the chorus and the bridge.

I was like "ahhh why...why, oh this ain't no damn human nature, this ain't natural, oh why...why...bitch, why you do me this way!!!"

I was drowsy. I thought I was gone pass out. My dick was hurtin for like two weeks. And if it got hard, I'm in straight agony.

What also sucked, was about week after the girl bit me, another girl wanted to have sex with me, and I couldn't because my dick was hurtin' but I didn't want to tell her that. She thought it was because of her and she was on some "oh my pussy not good anymore" type of shit, I remember sayin' "You don't understand, you don't even know...You don't even KNOW!!!"

Takes the cake!!!
 
i had just got my 92 cressida(blk and fully loaded)out the shop cause somebody hit it. so you know when you get the homeboy hook up you can get some money back from the insurance money. i had a G.

so its friday i go pick this bitch up and we riding and i stop at the 7-11 by reistertown plaza(my bmore peeps know where i'm talking about) and when i get out i thought i heard something drop but i paid it know attention. so later we stopped and i reached for my money and it wasnt there. so i play cool and start questioning her but not in a way where she knows what i'm looking for. i was so fucking pissed i dropped that bitch off home and was hurting. it wasnt bill money, it was fuck around money but still, a G is still a G

long story short either i dropped the money at 7-11 or in the car and that BITCH picked it up. if she did i hope she got 5 kids with 4 different men.
 
whenever i heard guys telling stories about how a girl's pussy stank and they couldnt hit it or whatever, i always used to be like "man, i'd still hit that shit from behind or whatever, it couldnt smell that bad".
It wasnt till a few years back when i met this one chick, went out a few times, she was cool so i didnt mind her holding out on giving up the pussy. So finally one night we go out, come back to my place and shits getting heated, we kissing, dry humping a bit, we're in my bed, got her down to her panties, she got me hard and ready, i get up to put on a condom. so i'm ready to go...i get between her legs and start pulling her panties off, i didnt even pull them all the way off and then it hit me.... that shit stank, i literally fletched when i smelled that shit! :puke: but being the good trooper, i was like that shit will pass or i can still do it,gotta complete the mission! so i pulled the panties off all the way but by then it was too late, the stank had killed my hard on. And i got kinda pissed cause i looked at the bitch and she was laying there like NOTHING! waiting for me to mount her, i was DAMN! am i the only one smelling this shit?! :confused: i didnt even know how to react i just kinda rolled over and i was like "damn, i just remembered i gotta get up early i gotta go to the field tomorrow"(i was in the army at the time) and shes like oh thats cool do you just want me to suck you off and i actually had to turn the bitch down. i couldnt do it! i wanted that bitch out my house!!!!! that shit is like some sort of pussy defense mechanism against dick, someone gots to market that shit to parents, spray their daughters down with that shit, guarantee they will stay virgins till their 18![/QUOTE]:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
 
Awe maaaaaaaaaan!!! I met a bad one at the club (Big Titties slimmy with a nice frame ) that I started a convo with. She had friends and I had friends that I introduced my partners to. This chic was tight work so much so that we all decided to head to the beach for a few drinks and mingling afterwards. The night was good we all disperse, ole girl and I exchange numbers and decide to meet up again. I throw a party at the crib over the following weekend that lasted 2 evenings. This mofo comes into the party in one of those low cut front back out skirts and stops the fucking party damn near (all eyes are on her). She's showing mad love to ya boy and we slip off into a corner tips as hell. She's giggling, titties falling out, and I'm plotting. We get out on the balcony away from every one and things get hot an heavy, we wrap up and start up the fire. We take a little break and she wants to hit the bathroom quickly (I'm like cool she's getting ready). Right after she's done I step in the bathroom and maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan it was sooooooooo fucking stink and musky in that bitch!! It smelled like she let her shit marinate in stale funk juice or worse. Sooooooooo my mind is racing on how that hell I should back out (I text one of my homies to give me the fake emergency text). None the less, he bails me out and I tell ole girl that something came up and she was like she understood but would love to take up where we left off because she was really into the moment. I never hooked up with her but did see her in the club and spoke to her and gave her a hug (she whispers that she still thinks about me). My home-girl sees her hug me and leaves and was like I can't stand chics that act like they are afraid of water and don't bathe. Pretty much she had a run in with her too and said ole girl is like Gremlins about water, seemingly and her hygiene is the worst. Something higher save me from her ass because hygiene is a big thing to me. I don't play that shit about funky ass pussy.

I just don't understand how them chics be tart as fuck like that and expect better to come from the situation. SMGDH
 
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