The worst experience with a hoe...
- Thread starter thismybgolname
- Start date
I got one too,no sex involved just calling myself helping somebody out. One night bout 3 years ago I made a quik brew run to 7-11,went in got my brew and was heading back to the whip.Once out the store a halfway decent looking broad wearing a thin sundress asked for a ride,since it was a couple a streets over from the crib I said aight. Dawgs...about 2 seconds after she got into the whip I got hit by a smell
that would make a yak throw up!I rolled down the windows and she kept trying to holla at a friend that had just pulled up and I was like I cant wait i gotta bounce, i got some beans cooking on the grill
.
Long story short she stayed and I bout got pulled over rushing her ass where she wanted to get dropped off.Fam when she got outta my whip and i got home my fucking seat smelled like hot cave bitch pussy(that smell would gag a maggot).I cleaned the seat and blasted that shit with Febreeze and thought ok,never again will i do that shit. The fucked up part was trying to explain to wifey the next morning as we getting in the car why
it smelled like wolf pussy gone bad(im meticulous when it comes to keeping the ride clean),it stank so bad that she actually believed what happened.
that would make a yak throw up!I rolled down the windows and she kept trying to holla at a friend that had just pulled up and I was like I cant wait i gotta bounce, i got some beans cooking on the grill.Long story short she stayed and I bout got pulled over rushing her ass where she wanted to get dropped off.Fam when she got outta my whip and i got home my fucking seat smelled like hot cave bitch pussy(that smell would gag a maggot).I cleaned the seat and blasted that shit with Febreeze and thought ok,never again will i do that shit. The fucked up part was trying to explain to wifey the next morning as we getting in the car why
it smelled like wolf pussy gone bad(im meticulous when it comes to keeping the ride clean),it stank so bad that she actually believed what happened.
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THIS WAS ONE OF MY FIRST HORROR STORIES
WORKED AT LEROY PHARMACY MANY MOONS AGO. WORKED AROUND SOME NICE CHICKS. ONE CHICK IN PARTICULAR KEPT GIVEN ME THE EYE. BUT SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND AT THE JOB. NO MATTER WHAT GOT HER TO THE CRIB SOME WEEKS LATER. CUTE FACE NICE BODY ( WIT CLOTHES ON THAT IS )
LIGHTS OUT PROCEED TO KISS AND SHIT. TAKES HER CLOTHES OFF NICE BIG ASS TITS IN THE BRA WITH THE HALLOWEEN CANDY CORN NIPPLES. THEM SHITS WERE LIKE AN INCH OR BETTER AND EXTREMELY HARD. COOL. PROCEED TO KISS AND SUCK THEM. COME TO FIND OUT SHE HAS ECZEMA. BODY DRY AS FUCK. WAS LIKE KISSING THE BOTTOM OF AN ASHTRAY. COOL NO PROBLEM A LIL SPIT ON THE NIPS CAN'T HANDLE. GET DOWN TO THE PANTIES, TAKE THEM OFF
THIS BIG ASS FUCKING PUSSY WITH LIPS THAT LOOK LIKE BATMANS CAPE FOLDED. THEM SHITS WERE OVERLAPPING EACH OTHER FROM LEFT TO RIGHT LIKE IT WAS TUCKING THE PUSSY IN FOR A GOOD NIGHTS SLEEP. SO I PROCEED TO UNWRAP THIS SHIT LITERALLY LIKE A MICKEY D SNACK WRAP AND OH BOY
THAT SHIT WAS LIKE OPENING A PRESSURE COOKER FILLED WITH CHITERLINGS, NOT CHITLINS, CHI-TER-LINGS. THEM FUCKING LIPS HAD TO BE STORE BOUGHT. NO SMELL COMING FROM THE SEAMS OR NOTHING. TRIED TO STILL HIT IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW CHICKS WILL TALK ABOUT YOUR ASS AT THE WORKPLACE. I CAN WORK WITH A LIL TARTNESS OUT THE MOUTH BUT GOTDAM.FUCK IT SHE HAD TO TALK ABOUT MY ASS
THIS WAS ONE OF MY FIRST HORROR STORIES
WORKED AT LEROY PHARMACY MANY MOONS AGO. WORKED AROUND SOME NICE CHICKS. ONE CHICK IN PARTICULAR KEPT GIVEN ME THE EYE. BUT SHE HAD A BOYFRIEND AT THE JOB. NO MATTER WHAT GOT HER TO THE CRIB SOME WEEKS LATER. CUTE FACE NICE BODY ( WIT CLOTHES ON THAT IS )
LIGHTS OUT PROCEED TO KISS AND SHIT. TAKES HER CLOTHES OFF NICE BIG ASS TITS IN THE BRA WITH THE HALLOWEEN CANDY CORN NIPPLES. THEM SHITS WERE LIKE AN INCH OR BETTER AND EXTREMELY HARD. COOL. PROCEED TO KISS AND SUCK THEM. COME TO FIND OUT SHE HAS ECZEMA. BODY DRY AS FUCK. WAS LIKE KISSING THE BOTTOM OF AN ASHTRAY. COOL NO PROBLEM A LIL SPIT ON THE NIPS CAN'T HANDLE. GET DOWN TO THE PANTIES, TAKE THEM OFF
FUCK IT SHE HAD TO TALK ABOUT MY ASS
bump for the newbies
1. Had girl
2. She swore she would NEVER completely shave her pussy no matter how much I begged
3. Broke up with ex-girl after fucking with some other chicks
2. Pulled her on some "Im going to come see you cuz we might get together" shit
3. Come over and her pussy is suddenly shaved and she want to fuck straight out the shower (I mean she still wet type shit)
4. She left me a little surprise...STD (thank God it was cureable)
5. To this day she still won't admit she had an STD and gave it to me
2. She swore she would NEVER completely shave her pussy no matter how much I begged
3. Broke up with ex-girl after fucking with some other chicks
2. Pulled her on some "Im going to come see you cuz we might get together" shit
3. Come over and her pussy is suddenly shaved and she want to fuck straight out the shower (I mean she still wet type shit)
4. She left me a little surprise...STD (thank God it was cureable)
5. To this day she still won't admit she had an STD and gave it to me
1. Had girl
2. She swore she would NEVER completely shave her pussy no matter how much I begged
3. Broke up with ex-girl after fucking with some other chicks
2. Pulled her on some "Im going to come see you cuz we might get together" shit
3. Come over and her pussy is suddenly shaved and she want to fuck straight out the shower (I mean she still wet type shit)
4. She left me a little surprise...STD (thank God it was cureable)
5. To this day she still won't admit she had an STD and gave it to me
crabs?
I had a bitch in High School that was special ed.
I didn't know at the time, and she was kinda cute with some big knockers, so I was like cool. She lived around the corner from me, and she just started coming over my crib every day, I would get home from school and she'd be waiting on my front steps. I was like,
Then she would tell me the same shit everyday like she had memory issues. I would crack mad jokes on her, not let her in my crib and shit and she would just laugh as if she never caught on.
Then one day I'm walkin' through the halls at school and I pass by one of those mini classroms for the spec. ed kids and I saw her.
A ni99a was like
I didn't know at the time, and she was kinda cute with some big knockers, so I was like cool. She lived around the corner from me, and she just started coming over my crib every day, I would get home from school and she'd be waiting on my front steps. I was like,
Then she would tell me the same shit everyday like she had memory issues. I would crack mad jokes on her, not let her in my crib and shit and she would just laugh as if she never caught on.Then one day I'm walkin' through the halls at school and I pass by one of those mini classroms for the spec. ed kids and I saw her.
A ni99a was like
I wish more cats would tell these females to wash they ass before the get down. I understand the spur of the moment fuckin but if you been running around all day clean up if you are about to do the do. Nothing more impressive than a chic that jump in the shower when she know you coming by.
Man, I got so many stories about stanky coochies and smelly booties that it aint even funny!
2 things I have learned in my 30 sommin years on this Earth about sex:
1. Women can not smell themselves.
2. Sex is better when you fresh out the shower.
What do yall expect the puss to smell like after a chic been walking around all day?That thang got an expiration date on it before it goes sour!
Until you learn this, your stories about fish smellin puss will continue to mount up!
Unfortunately. Funny how no matter how many times in the following years I hinted to her she never admitted to it
bitch farted
I had a bitch in High School that was special ed.
I didn't know at the time, and she was kinda cute with some big knockers, so I was like cool. She lived around the corner from me, and she just started coming over my crib every day, I would get home from school and she'd be waiting on my front steps. I was like,
Then one day I'm walkin' through the halls at school and I pass by one of those mini classroms for the spec. ed kids and I saw her.
A ni99a was like
did u ever find out what was wrong w/ her.. was she kind of "slow"..?
I got 2....
Smashed a young shorty after deployment years ago who told me afterward, "congratulations you're the 50th dude I have had sex with!" like I was on a fuckin gameshow. Mind you she was 19.
Went out with this one girl on a bet when I was a senior in HS.
Broad came and scooped me up and I didn't have anywhere to take her. So we started fuckin around in her shit brown cavalier. Situational irony for your ass. I did what I like to call the subtle finger test. Basically you finger the pussy, collect your sample, the pretend like your yawning/stretching and on the come up, navigate past the nostrils. I almost threw up in my mouth. Her shit was on some kippered snacks left outside in 120 degree heat. Nonetheless and asked the bish, "would you fuck this, seriously?
" Ol girl started crying and put me out right there.
Smashed a young shorty after deployment years ago who told me afterward, "congratulations you're the 50th dude I have had sex with!" like I was on a fuckin gameshow. Mind you she was 19.
Went out with this one girl on a bet when I was a senior in HS.
Broad came and scooped me up and I didn't have anywhere to take her. So we started fuckin around in her shit brown cavalier. Situational irony for your ass. I did what I like to call the subtle finger test. Basically you finger the pussy, collect your sample, the pretend like your yawning/stretching and on the come up, navigate past the nostrils. I almost threw up in my mouth. Her shit was on some kippered snacks left outside in 120 degree heat. Nonetheless and asked the bish, "would you fuck this, seriously?
" Ol girl started crying and put me out right there.
Never found out exactly what was wrong. I think she just needed to have a normal daily routine or something. Like she would call me every five minutes as if she didn't realize I was dodging her, so I think she just needs a routine.
Back in high school there was a girl that I met at a party and she was a str8 dime. So I ran game on her for a lil bit on the phone and found out she was freaky as hell. She hit me up with a "I'm bored u wanna fuck" type shit so I invited her over my crib. We watched TV for a while then we went to my bedroom and the bitch was getting naked as soon as we walked in and even pulled out a condom out her purse but then she thought about it and was like "Umm I don't wanna have sex but i'll still give u head" I was like 
I got mad and started yelling at her ass on some "Why did you come over then" shit, then she starts crying so I get her clothes and grab her arm and threw her ass outside half naked and locked the door.
and even pulled out a condom out her purse but then she thought about it and was like "Umm I don't wanna have sex but i'll still give u head" I was like I got mad and started yelling at her ass on some "Why did you come over then" shit, then she starts crying so I get her clothes and grab her arm and threw her ass outside half naked and locked the door.
]
...
Why'd you do that?
Back in high school there was a girl that I met at a party and she was a str8 dime. So I ran game on her for a lil bit on the phone and found out she was freaky as hell. She hit me up with a "I'm bored u wanna fuck" type shit so I invited her over my crib. We watched TV for a while then we went to my bedroom and the bitch was getting naked as soon as we walked in
...
Why'd you do that?
Cuz I wanted the pussy and she lied bout giving it to me lol
Na she is from Tulsa and went to BTW.
I ran into some skanks in OKC/Edmond/Norman but none of them that have a story like "skid."
That shit has happened to me 3 different times. The first time was with a random skank I hooked up with. I was living with my folks so I wasn't taking her home, and going to her crib (and getting robbed\jumped\killed was not gonna happen), so I took her to this abandoned school, parked across the street and walked around the back and proceeded to pound her out standing up from the back. So I'm in it, and I can't lie, the shit was good from insertion. After awhile, her shit just went to the next level and had my knees buckling, eyes rolling, trying to hit places in that pussy that had never been touched (you know that slow, deep stroke you start doing when the shit is so good and you never want to pull out!). Well she starts to cum and really pumping her fat ass back on my dick, and that did it. Man I nutted like I was Lex Steele hollering and shit. I thought i was the man, and still trying to get those last few after nut strokes in (shit was so good that at that point I was trying to make love to her ass!) only to hear her say something that made me freeze and my blood run cold: "SHIT!!! Did you break the rubber???" I pulled out only to find a rubber band at the base of my dick!!! Man I started getting scared! I pulled my shit up, told her to get in the car, dropped her off @ her ghetto-ass apartment, a hit the gas like I was in the pole position @ the Talledega 500. I made sure to stay away from that area because I didn't want to see her ass a few weeks\months later and swole like a mutha!!! And to make matters worse, a few days later I'm itching like hell because the bitch gave me the CRABS (not the good kind either)!!!!
But now I know why her shit suddenly got EXTRA good: the rubber broke and all I was feeling was skin to skin. So the next times that shit happened, and I felt a females shit get kicked up to another level of bomb pussy, I knew that the rubber had probably shredded, and I pulled out IMMEDIATELY, grabbed a new shield and jumped back in the battle!!!!
Classic bgol comedy
I got one... In my college days, I met this broad... (light skin, long hair... black and spanish... cute face, toungue ring, banging body)
I put game down for like a strong month, (I hate the hoes that try to play the "good girl" role when both of yall know she's slept with more than "3" people) and finally "convinced" her to let me smash...
I get ova to her spot and she's drinking evaclear, so I knew I was about to massage the back of her belly button/rubb her ribs
lol that line there deserves to get him a free yearly membership lol
LMAO. Some classic stories going on here. Here are just a few.
Ok, so back in highschool, me and my boy bunked off for the day to hook up with these fine yellowbones. These girls were a few years older than us but they knew the deal with us. Now the problem was that we were meant to fuck at one of the girl's crib but her dad was there. So me and my homie are pissed at this point because we not only bunked a day off of school for them but we traveled pretty far. So instead, we end up fucking in the park a few blocks away from the girl's house. Now I'm doggying this ho as hard as fuck until this man walks with his dog. I was the only guy who saw this man but none of us gave a fuck. The man looks at me in horror so I shout out "The fuck is your problem?" and the girl looks up and screams "Oh shit. Dad!" I'm like "fuck this." I gave the ho one final slam and she collapsed to the floor and I make a break for it. Shit was too funny, the way she fell to the floor in slow motion. I swear, that shit was funny , I wonder how he felt seeing his daughter get KO'd like that.
Ok, so back in highschool, me and my boy bunked off for the day to hook up with these fine yellowbones. These girls were a few years older than us but they knew the deal with us. Now the problem was that we were meant to fuck at one of the girl's crib but her dad was there. So me and my homie are pissed at this point because we not only bunked a day off of school for them but we traveled pretty far. So instead, we end up fucking in the park a few blocks away from the girl's house. Now I'm doggying this ho as hard as fuck until this man walks with his dog. I was the only guy who saw this man but none of us gave a fuck. The man looks at me in horror so I shout out "The fuck is your problem?" and the girl looks up and screams "Oh shit. Dad!"
I'm like "fuck this." I gave the ho one final slam and she collapsed to the floor and I make a break for it. Shit was too funny, the way she fell to the floor in slow motion. I swear, that shit was funny , I wonder how he felt seeing his daughter get KO'd like that.
This is funny how this thread came up because I spoke with the exact same person that was in my mind when I created this thread.
She has grown up very nicely and is no more than an hour away from me and comes to Atlanta often.
She has her own condo and has filled out just right, especially considering she is black & korean (she has no ass though).
I can't seem to get the term "skid" out of my mind after what happened but I know she is an even bigger freak than she was before.
I don't know if I should give this chick another chance to just see if EVERYTHING has changed or just accept the fact that if she had nasty draws before then she probably would again
She has grown up very nicely and is no more than an hour away from me and comes to Atlanta often.
She has her own condo and has filled out just right, especially considering she is black & korean (she has no ass though).
I can't seem to get the term "skid" out of my mind after what happened but I know she is an even bigger freak than she was before.
I don't know if I should give this chick another chance to just see if EVERYTHING has changed or just accept the fact that if she had nasty draws before then she probably would again
Met this girl at a club in SC. I was still in the Corps at the time. Red bone, hazel eyes, killin some spandex. We slow grinding on fast songs and shid. Mind you this girl had the body of a goddess, and the hate was high when we left the club and I took her back to my place where we fondle each other and I'm getting ready to dust them daws.....that's when she takes off her spandex top and them titties roll under her arm pits like balloons filled with water......I was disgusted but was horny and could get over them then she stood up in my bed and dropped them spandex pants, under them she had on what appeared to be a girdle, but the azz was looking tight, then she dropped that shid....the azzz kinda flopped out....knife marks bullets holes, just a flabby soggy azz I was turned off...made up some bs let her sleep over took her home the next morning. Felt bad cause she kept asking whats wrong, I just couldn't bring myself to tell her that her body was a wreck and spandex helped perpetrate a fraud.
I was turned off...made up some bs let her sleep over took her home the next morning. Felt bad cause she kept asking whats wrong, I just couldn't bring myself to tell her that her body was a wreck and spandex helped perpetrate a fraud.
Oh yeah. There was this girl who was good friends with my family. Infact, both of our families got on well. Now we were around 15 at the time (experimental stage) so I used to go over her house and we'd fuck around alot. Now trust me when I say this girl was fine. She lived with her Grandma who I was cool with, hence the reason she allowed me to go over to her house and in her granddaughter's room.
Now me and her thought we were real sly, messing with each other behind her Grandma's back. Now bear in mind this chick is a high yellla. I remember I was really kissing and necking her. She got pissed off because I left her with alot of love bites around her neck. Her grandma calls us downstairs to help with the cooking. She's panicking at this point because she thinks her Grandma will figure it out. So we go downstairs and the stupid bitch keeps on putting her hands around her neck (only bringing more attention to her neck.) Her Grandma I'm sure notices but doesn't say anything.
So we finish helping her with the cooking and we go back to her room. So now we're fucking really hard (we have our clothes on incase her Grandma walks in) and her Grandma calls my name and asks me to help her move some heavy boxes. So I get up and go downstairs. Now the grandma looks at me oddly but she doesn't anything. She simply points to the boxes and I move them. The Grandma avoids eye contact with me and I'm thinking "What the hell do I have on my face?" Once I'm finished, she says thank you and I go back upstairs. So I go inside the girl's room and she looks at me in horror, pointing to my pants, and I see my rock hard dick poking out of zipper. I swear I felt sick. Her Grandma saw this the whole time and she didn't say nothing. Maybe she was embarrassed. I was angry at myself for not realizing. I swear, I had to go straight home after that because I was scared of what her Grandma would tell my parents.
Now me and her thought we were real sly, messing with each other behind her Grandma's back. Now bear in mind this chick is a high yellla. I remember I was really kissing and necking her. She got pissed off because I left her with alot of love bites around her neck. Her grandma calls us downstairs to help with the cooking. She's panicking at this point because she thinks her Grandma will figure it out. So we go downstairs and the stupid bitch keeps on putting her hands around her neck
(only bringing more attention to her neck.) Her Grandma I'm sure notices but doesn't say anything. So we finish helping her with the cooking and we go back to her room. So now we're fucking really hard (we have our clothes on incase her Grandma walks in) and her Grandma calls my name and asks me to help her move some heavy boxes. So I get up and go downstairs. Now the grandma looks at me oddly but she doesn't anything. She simply points to the boxes and I move them. The Grandma avoids eye contact with me and I'm thinking "What the hell do I have on my face?" Once I'm finished, she says thank you and I go back upstairs. So I go inside the girl's room and she looks at me in horror, pointing to my pants, and I see my rock hard dick poking out of zipper.
I swear I felt sick. Her Grandma saw this the whole time and she didn't say nothing. Maybe she was embarrassed. I was angry at myself for not realizing. I swear, I had to go straight home after that because I was scared of what her Grandma would tell my parents.
This was about ten years ago during college. I will never forget this shit. I met this really tight Colombian and Brazilian mixed chick...pretty as hell..phat ass...perfect titties..six pack...long ass hair down to her waste...this chick was the definition of a dime physically. I ran into her on campus a couple of times..spit a little a game at her and I told her I would stop by her dorm room. I visited her a couple of days later. Well, we start to fuck around just a bit..I had her on the floor taking her shirt off and then her roommates comes back to the room...kind of throws off the mood. I rolled out. I called her a couple of days later. She tells me that her roommate went back home for the weekend. Cool. I decided to roll through the next night.
So we chill for a minute. Then I get to it. I start undressing her and shit. I take of my jacket and start to get ready to handle my biz. I now have her down to her panties and bra. Then I hit me.. I had to take a piss. So I go to her bathroom to take a piss before I go and tag. Now, as I take a piss I look over to the right side of her toilet because I smelled something. What do I see: This bitch left some dirty panties on the side of the toilet with the biggest shit stain I have ever seen in my life
Then I started to think about how dirty her dorm room was and thought about some other shit she did last time I was there. When I was in her room the last time before her roommate busted in... we were talking and in the middle of a conversation this bitch just dug up her nose like it was nothing and kept talking...didnt miss a beat. I ignored that shit because the chick was so fine but I was thinking...wft. I should have known then, but this chick was physically a perfect ten and I wanted to smash.
But after them dirty ass panties..I came out of the bathroom..made some bullshit excuse and rolled out... damn shame a woman so fine could be so damn nasty.
Damn this one had me laughing real hard.. I can see you in the bathroom pissing and thinking about this bitch was picking her nose and shit..
This was about ten years ago during college. I will never forget this shit. I met this really tight Colombian and Brazilian mixed chick...pretty as hell..phat ass...perfect titties..six pack...long ass hair down to her waste...this chick was the definition of a dime physically. I ran into her on campus a couple of times..spit a little a game at her and I told her I would stop by her dorm room. I visited her a couple of days later. Well, we start to fuck around just a bit..I had her on the floor taking her shirt off and then her roommates comes back to the room...kind of throws off the mood. I rolled out. I called her a couple of days later. She tells me that her roommate went back home for the weekend. Cool. I decided to roll through the next night.
So we chill for a minute. Then I get to it. I start undressing her and shit. I take of my jacket and start to get ready to handle my biz. I now have her down to her panties and bra. Then I hit me.. I had to take a piss. So I go to her bathroom to take a piss before I go and tag. Now, as I take a piss I look over to the right side of her toilet because I smelled something. What do I see: This bitch left some dirty panties on the side of the toilet with the biggest shit stain I have ever seen in my life
Then I started to think about how dirty her dorm room was and thought about some other shit she did last time I was there. When I was in her room the last time before her roommate busted in... we were talking and in the middle of a conversation this bitch just dug up her nose like it was nothing and kept talking...didnt miss a beat. I ignored that shit because the chick was so fine but I was thinking...wft. I should have known then, but this chick was physically a perfect ten and I wanted to smash.
But after them dirty ass panties..I came out of the bathroom..made some bullshit excuse and rolled out... damn shame a woman so fine could be so damn nasty.
Rick Ronson
Banned
Bitch was fakin after I already paid for the pussy.
I was about 20.
Ended up clockin that bitch...felt bad after but at least she got to keep the money.
Somewhere down by Dix St. Academy
I was about 20.
Ended up clockin that bitch...felt bad after but at least she got to keep the money.
Somewhere down by Dix St. Academy
My absolute worst experience was with this chick I was trying to bag for
like a couple years. I was about 18 and still living with Moms she was a couple
years older than me and the daughter of my Moms best friend.
She was'nt a dime piece but she was'nt no ugly broad either, super thick bubble ass
with some firm bouncy 38 DD's.
Anyways after hounding her with what seemed like forever she finally came through
on some gonna let a brotha hit type shit, i'm like
"LETS GET READY TO RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEE"
We kissing, and fondling each other i'm rubbing on and sucking on those gigantic tits.
She's rubbing my dick and got a nigga harder than chinese algebra.
I pulls off her pants and panties and OMG
Its was like a fucked up funk concotion of rotten fish and baby shit
My dick immediately went noodle, i'm like WTF? by this time she's still feeling
frisky talking about "whats up? why you stop?" I did'nt have the heart to tell her
so I was like "I aint got no rubbers and I dont want disrespect my Momma's house" LOL
She actually tried to catch an attitude talking shit about I could'nt hang and how
she got that snapper...............i'm like yeah "RED SNAPPER"
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