The worst experience with a hoe...

[elchoccolatte]

That's why you give the Pussy the Coochie Credit Card check with 2 fingaz...

 

[Spectrum]

This was about ten years ago during college. I will never forget this shit. I met this really tight Colombian and Brazilian mixed chick...pretty as hell..phat ass...perfect titties..six pack...long ass hair down to her waste...this chick was the definition of a dime physically. I ran into her on campus a couple of times..spit a little a game at her and I told her I would stop by her dorm room. I visited her a couple of days later. Well, we start to fuck around just a bit..I had her on the floor taking her shirt off and then her roommates comes back to the room...kind of throws off the mood. I rolled out. I called her a couple of days later. She tells me that her roommate went back home for the weekend. Cool. I decided to roll through the next night.

So we chill for a minute. Then I get to it. I start undressing her and shit. I take of my jacket and start to get ready to handle my biz. I now have her down to her panties and bra. Then I hit me.. I had to take a piss. So I go to her bathroom to take a piss before I go and tag. Now, as I take a piss I look over to the right side of her toilet because I smelled something. What do I see: This bitch left some dirty panties on the side of the toilet with the biggest shit stain I have ever seen in my life . Man..it looked like someone dipped a paint brush in hot shit and went to work on her panties

Then I started to think about how dirty her dorm room was and thought about some other shit she did last time I was there. When I was in her room the last time before her roommate busted in... we were talking and in the middle of a conversation this bitch just dug up her nose like it was nothing and kept talking...didnt miss a beat. I ignored that shit because the chick was so fine but I was thinking...wft. I should have known then, but this chick was physically a perfect ten and I wanted to smash.

But after them dirty ass panties..I came out of the bathroom..made some bullshit excuse and rolled out... damn shame a woman so fine could be so damn nasty.

 

[Spectrum]

whenever i heard guys telling stories about how a girl's pussy stank and they couldnt hit it or whatever, i always used to be like "man, i'd still hit that shit from behind or whatever, it couldnt smell that bad".
It wasnt till a few years back when i met this one chick, went out a few times, she was cool so i didnt mind her holding out on giving up the pussy. So finally one night we go out, come back to my place and shits getting heated, we kissing, dry humping a bit, we're in my bed, got her down to her panties, she got me hard and ready, i get up to put on a condom. so i'm ready to go...i get between her legs and start pulling her panties off, i didnt even pull them all the way off and then it hit me.... that shit stank, i literally fletched when i smelled that shit! but being the good trooper, i was like that shit will pass or i can still do it,gotta complete the mission! so i pulled the panties off all the way but by then it was too late, the stank had killed my hard on. And i got kinda pissed cause i looked at the bitch and she was laying there like NOTHING! waiting for me to mount her, i was DAMN! am i the only one smelling this shit?! i didnt even know how to react i just kinda rolled over and i was like "damn, i just remembered i gotta get up early i gotta go to the field tomorrow"(i was in the army at the time) and shes like oh thats cool do you just want me to suck you off and i actually had to turn the bitch down. i couldnt do it! i wanted that bitch out my house!!!!! that shit is like some sort of pussy defense mechanism against dick, someone gots to market that shit to parents, spray their daughters down with that shit, guarantee they will stay virgins till their 18!

 

[Brown Bear]

got one. met this tight, thin broad with a nice azz. took a long minute to get anywhere NEAR tha pussy though cause sometimes a month would pass between us seeing each other. just stayed connected through phone. so one night we at her pad and i'm sittin on the couch so she gets up to answer her phone, come back and is standin in front of me. i sit up and lift her shirt and start kissin her stomach, lickin round her belly button, etc

up till this point whenever i went for tha goods she move away or is like on the 'naw, i'm good' vibe the few times i went for tha booty the few other times we went out. she only had about another week before i cut her azz off permanately for not givin me tha pussy pass so i figure 'fuk it' and give it 1 more try. start unbuttoning her pants and she starts talkin sheit like 'u been wantin this pussy for a while huh?' all sexy and sheit so to make a long story short, off comes tha pants and panties. lickin that pussy and talkin sheit to her at the same time and tha beatch really gets into it. next thing u know she gripin my head, tremblin and sheit with tha 'oh sheit!' line. she convulses real hard then starts whimperin.

so now i'm like ready to tear that booty up but she hits me with some 'come lay next to me'. i'm like 'say what?' and she hits a brotha with that 'i liked it sooooo much' bullsheit then stands up and pulls her pants up! i was in disbelief like then i stand up and just look at her

man, i was heated! broke out after that but u know that beatch had the nerve to call me next day like she didn't just pull some fuked up sheit tha night before?

You aint get no puuuussy, you aint get no puuuusssy! Nya nya!





Just fuckin with ya bruh

 

[APOPHIS]

These stories are priceless!


My worst experience occurred about 2 ½ years ago with this girl who attends my university. We did some casual dating every once in a while but nothing serious enough to get me some pussy action. Then one day we headed to the movies to see a flick (Farenheit 9/11 I believe) & in the middle of the movie I begin to get frisky. I start fondling & squeezing this bitch’s titties very hard. Now mind she’s sucking on my ear, grabbing my balls, and all types of crazy shit. This girl’s ass is fuckin’ nice! Round, brown, and mine to crown. I begin rubbing her clit w/ through her jeans and the bitch starts moaning and groaning like a cow givin’ birth. At this point I’m dick-hard and ready to fuck right then and there in the theater. I finally get her to drop her pants and the minute she does my dick went flaccid quicker then a hose being turned off. The pussy stench was in full fuckin’ force that night. Now at first I was like fuck it, I haven’t had pussy in months and was eager to smash. The more I fingered the clit, the stronger the odor becomes. At this point I dunno whether to tell the bitch that her shit smells like rotten grits mashed with 10 day old fish or just remain hush. Then it hit me, I fingered her some more and purposely waved my finger right underneath her nose in a casual nonchalant manner. Needless to say, her ass came up w/ crazy excuses to not continue. She was like ”oh we’re in a movie theater and we might get caught.” LOL!! Wash yo’ shit you skank!! Up till this very day she still wanna fuck but I learned my lesson.

PUSSY STENCH IS NO JOKE!

 

[Spectrum]

At this point I dunno whether to tell the bitch that her shit smells like rotten grits mashed with 10 day old fish or just remain hush.

now thats some stank ass pussy...lol

Then it hit me, I fingered her some more and purposely waved my finger right underneath her nose in a casual nonchalant manner. Needless to say, her ass came up w/ crazy excuses to not continue. She was like ”oh we’re in a movie theater and we might get caught.” LOL!! Wash yo’ shit you skank!! Up till this very day she still wanna fuck but I learned my lesson.

 

[gameboy]

got one. met this tight, thin broad with a nice azz. took a long minute to get anywhere NEAR tha pussy though cause sometimes a month would pass between us seeing each other. just stayed connected through phone. so one night we at her pad and i'm sittin on the couch so she gets up to answer her phone, come back and is standin in front of me. i sit up and lift her shirt and start kissin her stomach, lickin round her belly button, etc

up till this point whenever i went for tha goods she move away or is like on the 'naw, i'm good' vibe the few times i went for tha booty the few other times we went out. she only had about another week before i cut her azz off permanately for not givin me tha pussy pass so i figure 'fuk it' and give it 1 more try. start unbuttoning her pants and she starts talkin sheit like 'u been wantin this pussy for a while huh?' all sexy and sheit so to make a long story short, off comes tha pants and panties. lickin that pussy and talkin sheit to her at the same time and tha beatch really gets into it. next thing u know she gripin my head, tremblin and sheit with tha 'oh sheit!' line. she convulses real hard then starts whimperin.

so now i'm like ready to tear that booty up but she hits me with some 'come lay next to me'. i'm like 'say what?' and she hits a brotha with that 'i liked it sooooo much' bullsheit then stands up and pulls her pants up! i was in disbelief like then i stand up and just look at her

man, i was heated! broke out after that but u know that beatch had the nerve to call me next day like she didn't just pull some fuked up sheit tha night before?

she ran some Too Short game on you,,, ​

 

[thismybgolname]

Not a stank episode, but kinda funny.

I was in Oklahoma at this club, about 5 crown and cokes down when I started thinking about Richard Pryor saying how 'Ugly bitches got the best pussy'. So I spot this sista that with the lights dim was reasonably ugly, so I stepped to her and talked her into coming to my motel. Now this chick had a dime body, So I can't wait to get her to the room to see if Rich knew what he was talking about, so we made it and the crown had worn down to about 3 strong when I turn on the room light and take a good look at this chick I was like Good Lord! this woman is UUUUUgly. So we strip down, and mind you, I just could'nt stop laughin at how ugly she really was, so I'm tapping my dick on her pussy trying to get stiff and just when I was about there she comes out with; " Baby I know I aint much to look at but I want some of that dick", I just , had to tell her to get dressed, that I just could'nt do it because I was'nt feeling well. Took her home, and still laugh about that shit to this day.

You should have tagged her just because of the fact that she admitted to you that she was ugly.

 

[jiggylo09]

years ago, i went over this new chicks crib. her phone keeps ringing & ringing, but she never answered. i read between the lines and went to my car and grabbed my gat.

came back in and started fucking ol' girl (first time hitting it). then someone starts pounding on the door while i'm fucking her, "let me in!" she's like, "oh shit! that's my fiance!" fiance? i keep fucking trying to get my nut off. "don't answer the door" i told her.

dude starts pounding on bedroom window "let me in!",,, i keep fucking,,, dude opens the fucking window,,, it wasn't locked. he's watching me pounding the shit out of his girls pussy,,,

he's furious "come outside homeboy! i'm going to fuck you up!" dude was built like a fucking tank. i threw on my clothes and opened the door,,, dude is still barking like he was about to fuck me up,,, once he saw me cock one in the chamber of the gat, he got silent as a mouse.

as i walked to the car,,, i heard old boy smack fire from her ass, and her body hit the floor. wasn't my battle to fight. never saw her again,,, sad thing was, the pussy wasn't all that.

I like this story better than a stinkie puss story!!!

 

[APOPHIS]

I like this story better than a stinkie puss story!!!

All in due time..
You will get one .

 

[Gullahboy]

[]I aint proud of this one ,,,LOL Back in the day I use to serve ....Majority of bruthas know what I am talking about. Well to make a long story short....we was handling busienss and low and behold this one fine ass bitch walks up to the spot ........she looked familiar and come to find out she was what I call one of those Miss Its ...yall know what I am talking about .....Izod/polo shirts all the times ... Jack and Jill parties ......the preppy crew .....Thats right she would not give me no play when we were in high school....But five years after we got out she was smoking....So she comes the spot asking for a bump ....and like the green ass nigga I was, I tell her that I will give you a bump for free if you give me some ass............and she says "hell yea"I tell her I want some of that booty hole ...she tries to play like she aint gettin down like that, but that is bull shit ........so she says yea ...but dont get carried away. So we go to the back of this fucked up ass flat that we were doin business from and I am watching that ass shake in that denim mini -skirt(even though this bitch was a full fledge crack head she still had a body)...So she takes off the skirt and I put on a rubber and she gets in the doggie position,I tell her to open her cheeks and as soon as she does, I damn near pass out ....that bitch smelled like .....HOT TRASH JUICE ......that you smell from a sanitation truck....I tell the bitch to put on her shit .......I even give her a bump for free ....and tell her to get the fuck out..........after that I stuck stricly to businees no more fuccoin with those hypes.......

 

[YoungSinister]

@ all these stories

My story is kinda long but here it goes...

My freshman year in high school the varsity football coached moved me up from JV to varsity for the playoffs. I was one of only 3 freshmen to get moved up so I thought I was the truth. The week of playoffs im at lunch im chillin with the varsity cats, tryna get my social status up and shit, and one of the seniors on the squad tells me hes gonna put me on with a freak. Im only a freshman so I think im about to do big thangs . He introduces me to this milky ol white girl. She didn't even look good but she was a senior and she had some big hoots so I couldn't walk away. My dude is hyping me up telling her how im a freshman on varsity and how imma be in the league one day, etc, and the bitch keeps lookin at me smilin. I didn't say a word. She gets out a piece of paper and gives my number and then walks off. Ol boy looks at me and says "ITS WRAP CITY".
After practice niggas come up to me telling me stories about the hoe and tellin me how easy it is to smash so im hyped up b/c it sounds like a sure thing. That night I call her, talk with her a lil bit, and end up setting up a fuck session after the playoff game.
On game night I didn't even get in, so I don't gotta worry about taking a shower after. After I get dressed back into my regular clothes I call my dad and tell him I have a ride home and I go home with the white bitch.
So we get to her house and she tells me once we get inside I gotta be quiet as hell so I dont wake up her dad. Before she put the key in to open the door the bitch gets close to me and starts lickin my face. At first im like hell yea....this bitch is a true freak. But then I get a wiff of her breath It smelt like a horse hickup. That was the first sign that let me know this wasn't going to be all that. So we sneak up to her room with no problem. She takes off the clothes, im suckin on her breast, rubbing on her pussy, etc...everythings all good! Then this bitch grabs me by the waist and starts making out with me. Not only did she have some turd breath but shes known to suck everyone off so in my head im like ...but I gotta go through with it cuz i wanna get this pussy. We finally stop kissing and I take a condom out of my wallet and take my clothes off. Im ready for action.
"Wait, I have something better for you". She goes to her dresser and hands me another condom. As I try to put the shit on she says she has to use the bathroom right quick to "take care of something" and tip toes out the room. So im like whatever, and concentrate on how im going to beat this pussy up. I sit on her bed and look around and all of a sudden i hear a BBRRRRRTTTTTTTT. This bitch farted in the bathroom and didn't think I heard it!
Now im thinkin this bitch is nasty as hell, but I still want to fuck so Im like whatever. So she gets back and im ready to put it down. Im already sitting down on her bed so she walks over to me and starts rubbing her ass on me. Thats when I smelt it. The aroma of an unwiped ass hit my nose . This bitch was fowl. Her ass smelt like straight shit! But there was nothing I could do . She was my only way of getting home so I couldn't tell her her butt stinked. I proceeded to hit it after some sup par head. The whole ride home she keeps talking and talking, like she doesn't even know that... 1) she has bad breath, 2) i heard her fart in the bathroom 3) she doesn't know how to wipe her ass.
Next week I told everyone what had happened and they clowned that bitch. The fucked up part was she if I wanted I could fuck again and it would be better than the last time. I was like hell naw. She sucked me off a few times after that tho

 

[YoungSinister]

that bitch smelled like .....HOT TRASH JUICE

 

[TRUFICTION]

But then I get a wiff of her breath It smelt like a horse hickup.

 

[drugzmoneygunz]

bitch stalked me, tried to fight every chick she seen me wit

 

[bham_brotha]

Freshman year in college...met a chick that lived off campus and chilled with her a few times. One night we were about to fuck..until I fingered her. Just couldnt figure out how a grown female could be lettin herself smell like that. I told her I just remembered I had to pick my brother up from his basketball game and bounced..never talked to her again.

 

[MasterYoshi]

got one. met this tight, thin broad with a nice azz. took a long minute to get anywhere NEAR tha pussy though cause sometimes a month would pass between us seeing each other. just stayed connected through phone. so one night we at her pad and i'm sittin on the couch so she gets up to answer her phone, come back and is standin in front of me. i sit up and lift her shirt and start kissin her stomach, lickin round her belly button, etc

up till this point whenever i went for tha goods she move away or is like on the 'naw, i'm good' vibe the few times i went for tha booty the few other times we went out. she only had about another week before i cut her azz off permanately for not givin me tha pussy pass so i figure 'fuk it' and give it 1 more try. start unbuttoning her pants and she starts talkin sheit like 'u been wantin this pussy for a while huh?' all sexy and sheit so to make a long story short, off comes tha pants and panties. lickin that pussy and talkin sheit to her at the same time and tha beatch really gets into it. next thing u know she gripin my head, tremblin and sheit with tha 'oh sheit!' line. she convulses real hard then starts whimperin.

so now i'm like ready to tear that booty up but she hits me with some 'come lay next to me'. i'm like 'say what?' and she hits a brotha with that 'i liked it sooooo much' bullsheit then stands up and pulls her pants up! i was in disbelief like then i stand up and just look at her

man, i was heated! broke out after that but u know that beatch had the nerve to call me next day like she didn't just pull some fuked up sheit tha night before?

Damn, talk about getting played!!

 

[beof]

Jeezus Christ

 

[FreQ247365]

9th grade. I talked this bitch into giving me some pussy real quick in the laundry room of her building. With the lights out it was pitch black, but I pulled her under this table anyway. I slide inside and start to get my fuck on. We're both into it, and the puss was good too, when the light snaps on and I hear "What the fuck..!" I look over my shoulder and its her pops! I'm balls deep in her, between her legs. Theres no talking my way out. We are straight caught! I'm trying to get up and drag my pants on and this huge muffukka grabs me by my arm and throat. I'm struggling to pull my shit up and he's steady trying to choke me to death, but I'm like a wild man. she's screaming and crying and yelling no Daddy no and shit! when I get my shit up, I kind-a get away, but I get my shirt snatched off and I lose a shoe. Anyways, he gets to beating on her and I jet. I run home mad shook up and just lay low. Anyway my pops was in law enforcement, and he comes home sits me down more serious than I have ever seen him and tells me that this chick told her pops that I had forced her to do it. He's down at the precinct trying to press charges. I'm scared as shit. My pops tells me I'm going to juvie and shit. The worst of it is she's white. Fortunately, because of my pops the jakes really questions her and she admits her pops beat her till she said what he wanted to hear. he had fucked her up to. Now we live int he same housing development and go to the same school. It was over summer so it was mad hush hush, but her pops had vowed to kill me when he saw me next. Needless to say, she was on serious lock-down cuase I didn't see her outside of school, ever, for like a year. About two years later I was playing ball at the developments court when her pops comes jogging by, all -exmilitary crew cutted down, but old. He see's me and freaks and tries to throw hands at me. By that time though I had some size on me and youth on my side. He kept coming at me and I kept back-peddling. I keep telling to step or I'm gonna punch him in the mouth. Finally, I get tired of it all and punch in the mouth. Hard. He stops shocked as hell with his lip bloody, and just looks at me breathing hard. If this old white man could have killed me with his eyes I would be dead right now. Anyway, I get a little spooked and grab my ball and jetted. He's just standing there staring at me run off. I moved back with my moms a few weeks later. I never saw her or her father again. Later I heard the whole fam had moved off. That was the worst shit.

 

[dre4402]

We had this white girl once she use to drive two hours just to suck dick so this ho didnt want to get fucked while giving head so then we finally convinced her to come out the pants and shit so she was still doming and i position her to hit it from the back when i got down to a lower altitude i smelled that shit and was like hold up i stood up and didnt smell nothin then i went lower to try again then i smelled that shit stood up and took the rubber off and pulled my pants up so buddy was like wassup you got me hot i want some dick now and i wass like im straight im feelin weird i think i need some fresh air so i left and went outside

 

[Criptonite187]

Real Talk That shit is like some defense mechanism and Shit. I've had a similar experience and It was unreal. It's weird cause it just fucks everything up man. And just like ur story it's like the bitches act Like They can't smell the shit. Like Bitch How can U not Smell That shit

whenever i heard guys telling stories about how a girl's pussy stank and they couldnt hit it or whatever, i always used to be like "man, i'd still hit that shit from behind or whatever, it couldnt smell that bad".
It wasnt till a few years back when i met this one chick, went out a few times, she was cool so i didnt mind her holding out on giving up the pussy. So finally one night we go out, come back to my place and shits getting heated, we kissing, dry humping a bit, we're in my bed, got her down to her panties, she got me hard and ready, i get up to put on a condom. so i'm ready to go...i get between her legs and start pulling her panties off, i didnt even pull them all the way off and then it hit me.... that shit stank, i literally fletched when i smelled that shit! but being the good trooper, i was like that shit will pass or i can still do it,gotta complete the mission! so i pulled the panties off all the way but by then it was too late, the stank had killed my hard on. And i got kinda pissed cause i looked at the bitch and she was laying there like NOTHING! waiting for me to mount her, i was DAMN! am i the only one smelling this shit?! i didnt even know how to react i just kinda rolled over and i was like "damn, i just remembered i gotta get up early i gotta go to the field tomorrow"(i was in the army at the time) and shes like oh thats cool do you just want me to suck you off and i actually had to turn the bitch down. i couldnt do it! i wanted that bitch out my house!!!!! that shit is like some sort of pussy defense mechanism against dick, someone gots to market that shit to parents, spray their daughters down with that shit, guarantee they will stay virgins till their 18!

 

[thismybgolname]

This was about ten years ago during college. I will never forget this shit. I met this really tight Colombian and Brazilian mixed chick...pretty as hell..phat ass...perfect titties..six pack...long ass hair down to her waste...this chick was the definition of a dime physically. I ran into her on campus a couple of times..spit a little a game at her and I told her I would stop by her dorm room. I visited her a couple of days later. Well, we start to fuck around just a bit..I had her on the floor taking her shirt off and then her roommates comes back to the room...kind of throws off the mood. I rolled out. I called her a couple of days later. She tells me that her roommate went back home for the weekend. Cool. I decided to roll through the next night.

So we chill for a minute. Then I get to it. I start undressing her and shit. I take of my jacket and start to get ready to handle my biz. I now have her down to her panties and bra. Then I hit me.. I had to take a piss. So I go to her bathroom to take a piss before I go and tag. Now, as I take a piss I look over to the right side of her toilet because I smelled something. What do I see: This bitch left some dirty panties on the side of the toilet with the biggest shit stain I have ever seen in my life . Man..it looked like someone dipped a paint brush in hot shit and went to work on her panties

Then I started to think about how dirty her dorm room was and thought about some other shit she did last time I was there. When I was in her room the last time before her roommate busted in... we were talking and in the middle of a conversation this bitch just dug up her nose like it was nothing and kept talking...didnt miss a beat. I ignored that shit because the chick was so fine but I was thinking...wft. I should have known then, but this chick was physically a perfect ten and I wanted to smash.

But after them dirty ass panties..I came out of the bathroom..made some bullshit excuse and rolled out... damn shame a woman so fine could be so damn nasty.

She must have been a bad ass bitch if you let her diggin a golden nugget out her nose slide.

 

[Criptonite187]

Damn, talk about getting played!!

That's what u get For eatin Pussy Dumb ass. b Lick The wrong Bitch and U might Die1

 

[Mello Mello]

This was about ten years ago during college. I will never forget this shit. I met this really tight Colombian and Brazilian mixed chick...pretty as hell..phat ass...perfect titties..six pack...long ass hair down to her waste...this chick was the definition of a dime physically. I ran into her on campus a couple of times..spit a little a game at her and I told her I would stop by her dorm room. I visited her a couple of days later. Well, we start to fuck around just a bit..I had her on the floor taking her shirt off and then her roommates comes back to the room...kind of throws off the mood. I rolled out. I called her a couple of days later. She tells me that her roommate went back home for the weekend. Cool. I decided to roll through the next night.

So we chill for a minute. Then I get to it. I start undressing her and shit. I take of my jacket and start to get ready to handle my biz. I now have her down to her panties and bra. Then I hit me.. I had to take a piss. So I go to her bathroom to take a piss before I go and tag. Now, as I take a piss I look over to the right side of her toilet because I smelled something. What do I see: This bitch left some dirty panties on the side of the toilet with the biggest shit stain I have ever seen in my life . Man..it looked like someone dipped a paint brush in hot shit and went to work on her panties

Then I started to think about how dirty her dorm room was and thought about some other shit she did last time I was there. When I was in her room the last time before her roommate busted in... we were talking and in the middle of a conversation this bitch just dug up her nose like it was nothing and kept talking...didnt miss a beat. I ignored that shit because the chick was so fine but I was thinking...wft. I should have known then, but this chick was physically a perfect ten and I wanted to smash.

But after them dirty ass panties..I came out of the bathroom..made some bullshit excuse and rolled out... damn shame a woman so fine could be so damn nasty.

That sounds like the broad outta this movie.

 

[PointyHeadPimp]

Needless to say I nutted and robbed the bitch as usual.

I wonder if that blew the bitches high.

WTF? This negro said he robbed the bitch

Worst shit ever happened to me, is this big booty chick I'd smashed once before over. We got tipsy, cuz I always like to drink b4 I smash cuz it's liquid viagra lol. anyway she was standing in front of me, I took her clothes off, sucked the titties for a minute, took my clothes off, then took hers off. She hopped on my lap and started kissing me. I start to finger her and I'm like DAMN she's wet. I look down and what do I see? You guessed it. Period blood I wanted to throw the fuck up! I'd never ever ever seen no shit like that before. I couldn't believe what I saw. I just started screaming She runs to the bathroom to clean up and I ran in the kitchen to clean my nasty ass hand.

 

[Bunchy Carter]

Yo man, y'all niggaz ain't gonna believe what the fuck happened to me.
I'm up in this bitch crib this bitch fuckin one them ol Knick ass niggaz and shit,
I'm up in the spot though. One of them six-five niggaz, I don't know.
Anyway I'm up in the motherfuckin spot, so boom I'm up in the pussy,
whatever whatever. I sparks up some lye, Pop Duke creeps up in on some,
must have been rained out or something because he's in the
spot. Had me scared, had me scared, I was shook Daddy - but I forget I
had my Roscoe on me. Always. You know how we do. So anyway the nigga
comes up the stairs, he creepin up the steps, the bitch all shook she
sends the nigga back downstairs to get some drinks and shit. She gettin
mad nervous, I said fuck that man! I'm the nigga, you know how we do it
nigga, ransom note style put the scarf around my motherfuckin face,
gagged that bitch up, played the kizzack. Soon this nigga comes up in
the spot, flash the Desert in his face he drops the glass. Looked like
the nigga pissed on his-self or somethin, word to mother! Ahh fuckit
this nigga runs dead to the floor, peels up the carpet, start givin me
mad papers, mad papers. I threw all that
motherfuckin money up in the Prada knapsack. Two words, I'm gone!

 

[thismybgolname]

WTF? This negro said he robbed the bitch

Worst shit ever happened to me, is this big booty chick I'd smashed once before over. We got tipsy, cuz I always like to drink b4 I smash cuz it's liquid viagra lol. anyway she was standing in front of me, I took her clothes off, sucked the titties for a minute, took my clothes off, then took hers off. She hopped on my lap and started kissing me. I start to finger her and I'm like DAMN she's wet. I look down and what do I see? You guessed it. Period blood I wanted to throw the fuck up! I'd never ever ever seen no shit like that before. I couldn't believe what I saw. I just started screaming She runs to the bathroom to clean up and I ran in the kitchen to clean my nasty ass hand.

I've had a few bitches pull shit like that.

"You must have brought it down." Or "I'm sorry I thought it was over because I wasn't spotting no more."

 

[phanatic]

IN my last year of high school, we had an early dismissal and I was fucking with this hoodrat chick that lived a couple blocks away from me. We over there chillin then we commence to getting it in, then this chick's mom comes home. I run into the basement and hide behind the washing machine. Now the chick's mom normally goes right upstairs, changes work clothes, and stays in her bedroom. But today she wanted to be on some different shit. She sat downstairs in that house for like 5 hours then she wants to wash clothes. She came downstairs and starts fucking with the washing machine, then she wants to start cleaning the basement. I'm thinking what the fuck is this stupid bitch that I was about to smash doing. Mom finally goes upstairs and I go crawl out the basement window, into the back yard, jump their gate and run down an alley(a north philly alley so that shit was like the amazon forest).

 

[shywriter]

I've never had a chick with a foul smelling or nasty puss *knocks on wood* but I had one girl who was just an absolute worthless lay. When I say this girl didn't wanna do anything but lay on her back (she wouldn't switch positions for SHIT) I mean she laid there. And she basically played my young and dumb ass with the "if you give me head, I'll give you head game." Needless to say that was the worst sex I've ever had and if a girl even hints like she'll just lay there, I don't even bother.

 

[Cousin Ray Ray]

Yo man, y'all niggaz ain't gonna believe what the fuck happened to me.
I'm up in this bitch crib this bitch fuckin one them ol Knick ass niggaz and shit,
I'm up in the spot though. One of them six-five niggaz, I don't know.
Anyway I'm up in the motherfuckin spot, so boom I'm up in the pussy,
whatever whatever. I sparks up some lye, Pop Duke creeps up in on some,
must have been rained out or something because he's in the
spot. Had me scared, had me scared, I was shook Daddy - but I forget I
had my Roscoe on me. Always. You know how we do. So anyway the nigga
comes up the stairs, he creepin up the steps, the bitch all shook she
sends the nigga back downstairs to get some drinks and shit. She gettin
mad nervous, I said fuck that man! I'm the nigga, you know how we do it
nigga, ransom note style put the scarf around my motherfuckin face,
gagged that bitch up, played the kizzack. Soon this nigga comes up in
the spot, flash the Desert in his face he drops the glass. Looked like
the nigga pissed on his-self or somethin, word to mother! Ahh fuckit
this nigga runs dead to the floor, peels up the carpet, start givin me
mad papers, mad papers. I threw all that
motherfuckin money up in the Prada knapsack. Two words, I'm gone!

Now where have I heard this one before?

I'm not sure if it's true, but rumor has it, the NBA ballplayer who Biggie was talkin about was John Starks.

 

[RESPECT]

I THINK I'M GONNA STOP HERE B4 U MOFO'S GIVE ME A HEART ATTACK WITH THIS SHIT. I CANNOT CATCH MY BREATH

 

[pyramidbuilder]

I'm working in this bank in New York, relocate to Bmore. my boy from the bank wants me to hook up with one of his friends who happened to be a med school doctor at Johns Hopkins in Bmore, I'm like cool, gets the number, give her a call, she sounds good as shit over the phone. We make a date... too smart to let her come to my crib first, so I go visit her. THis was the NASTIEST crib I had ever seen in my life!!!! She had a cat, motherfucking cat went wherever it pleased; litter boxes filled with shit everywhere, dimmmed lights, roaches and shit all over the place.... then she had the nerve to ask me if I wanted something to eat????
She had that old deodorant smell, the kind of smell you smell after your shit been sitting in the laundry basket for a while after its been in a good gym workout, and its ready for a good washing; only problem was that she still was wearing it. I was looking for the first opportunity to roll the fuck out of that nasty ass house!!! Finally made some lame excuse to roll out, gets to the car, all I could do was to shake all my shit out to make sure I didn't have any roaches on me, it was terrible!

 

[kilam]

in college, this one chick used to keep fucking with me asking me all kinda dumb questions every fucking mon, wed and friday i had chemistry class. and no matter what i did i couldn't escape seeing the broad. so one day i get tired and str8 up took the ho to my room.
i'm banging the shit out of the bitch and i'm like damn dis bitch is mad wet
buss the nut and pulled out and as i pulled the condom off, the shit is bright red! she runs to the bathroom and

i'm freaking the fuck out because
1. the bitch caught her period and neva said shit
2. the bitch knew she was due and wanted to fuck so much that she neva said shit
3. and most importantly, the bitch fucked up my brand new blanket mom dukes just sent me in the mail. dat period shit never washed out!!!! and the bitch had the nerve to ask me when she could come back for more fuck sessions.....

 

[tebriel69]

I just want ya'll to know that this thread was better than muthafuckin def comedy jam for real. i been over here straight DYIN. ya'll made a brotha whole night. hahaha. but i feel for all ya'll who done been thru this for real.....still funny as fuck though!

 

[wmjj47]

I was talking to this chick when I was about 19 or 20 (she was 25). We hit it off right and on top of that she thick as hell!!! She talked a good game about how she was going to have me giving up my check (Shit, that will never happen!!!) when we fuck!!! So I am like bring it on, talk is cheap! So I set it up one night where I called in sick (well damn, I guess I did give up my check LOL) from work and we were going to go to my homey's spot to fuck! She pulls up in my front yard and I'll be damned if she don't have her TWO KIDS in the back seat! Not only did she not tell me about the kids, she was taking them with us! WTF! We get to my boys spot and the kids are looking at me on some "are you my daddy" type shit! Long story short, I fucked the hell out of her, while her kids were playing in the next room (on top of that she was a screamer, so u know the kids heard EVERYTHING!!! We came out of the room and all I got from them were stares !!! Did I feel bad? At first, yes! But as I got older I figured out I was not the bad person!

CHILDREN, YOUR MOM'S A HOE!!!