The worst experience with a hoe...

[3rd__Optic]

Got One A Couple Years Ago Actually 6 Years Ago When I Met My Babys Mother Slash My Fiance Now Ended Up Fucking And I Had Been Pleading With Her To Let Me Cum In Her Mouth We Were Trying New Shit Often And Begged Her For 6 Months To Let Me Do It So Finally The Time Came Skeeted In Her Mouth And She Pretended To Swallow A Couple Seconds Went By And She Kissed Me And Spit The Cum In My Mouth And Laughed So The Next Day When I Was Released From County Jail For Atempted Murder We Got Back Together And Been With Her Ever Since.

 

[mailboxpimp]

Got One A Couple Years Ago Actually 6 Years Ago When I Met My Babys Mother Slash My Fiance Now Ended Up Fucking And I Had Been Pleading With Her To Let Me Cum In Her Mouth We Were Trying New Shit Often And Begged Her For 6 Months To Let Me Do It So Finally The Time Came Skeeted In Her Mouth And She Pretended To Swallow A Couple Seconds Went By And She Kissed Me And Spit The Cum In My Mouth And Laughed So The Next Day When I Was Released From County Jail For Atempted Murder We Got Back Together And Been With Her Ever Since.

your a fag!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[3rd__Optic]

All of these bloody pussy, shitty paties, and stank pussy stories tell me one thing. Home training is lacking with a lot of these chics. COT DAYUM!!

All funny stuff non the less.....

 

[itzmotto]

Man, I got so many stories about stanky coochies and smelly booties that it aint even funny!
2 things I have learned in my 30 sommin years on this Earth about sex:

1. Women can not smell themselves.
2. Sex is better when you fresh out the shower.

What do yall expect the puss to smell like after a chic been walking around all day? That thang got an expiration date on it before it goes sour! Sommin like 1 hour after they shower.

Until you learn this, your stories about fish smellin puss will continue to mount up!

Yup I'll quickly tell a chick go to the bathroom and freshen up its 2014. I tell em straight up i like you fresh

 

[black again]

Damn! This thread is like 7 yrs old...can't believe I didn't add a story..ya wanna hear it? Here it goes...

A few years ago, I met a babe online...Match, I think, and we planned to meet at Taste of Atlanta. Baby was cute...damn near 6' and a nice body.

We walked around eating different stuff and had a few drinks. After a few hours, while talking, she mentioned her son (grown) wouldn't be home, so told her why go home. Follow me to my crib and chill. She said cool.

We get to my crib and I made us a drink and we started some light making out and decided to move it up to my bedroom. Baby smelled weed and said she hadn't smoked in awhile and wouldn't mind burning one, before we fucked.

I rolled one up, she hit it a few times, I finished it and we started getting undressed.
I was playing with her pussy, as she was sitting on my bed and I noticed she looked kinda funny...her eyes were kinda rolling in her head.

I Ax if she's ok and next thing I know, she sprints to the bathroom, puts her face in the toilet and starts puking.

So, she's on the floor, naked, head in my toilet, hair damn near in the toilet water and violently gettin Ill. I spent the next hour keeping her head outta the water.

Baby was moaning, apologizing, kinda passed out for a minute...I knew there wasn't gonna be no fuckin that nite. Next morning she got up and although she felt ok, there was no way I wanted to hit, after that episode.

 

[thismybgolname]

9 year bump.

 

[Mello Mello]

Man this thread was hilarious.

Where's that one thread where homey was like ok girls pussy stank so bad it was fucking his soul up. That was another great thread.

 

[kew]

 

[creepin]

Man, I got so many stories about stanky coochies and smelly booties that it aint even funny!
2 things I have learned in my 30 sommin years on this Earth about sex:

1. Women can not smell themselves.
2. Sex is better when you fresh out the shower.

What do yall expect the puss to smell like after a chic been walking around all day? That thang got an expiration date on it before it goes sour! Sommin like 1 hour after they shower.

Until you learn this, your stories about fish smellin puss will continue to mount up!

Many don't learn hygiene at home!

@ all these stories

My story is kinda long but here it goes...

My freshman year in high school the varsity football coached moved me up from JV to varsity for the playoffs. I was one of only 3 freshmen to get moved up so I thought I was the truth. The week of playoffs im at lunch im chillin with the varsity cats, tryna get my social status up and shit, and one of the seniors on the squad tells me hes gonna put me on with a freak. Im only a freshman so I think im about to do big thangs . He introduces me to this milky ol white girl. She didn't even look good but she was a senior and she had some big hoots so I couldn't walk away. My dude is hyping me up telling her how im a freshman on varsity and how imma be in the league one day, etc, and the bitch keeps lookin at me smilin. I didn't say a word. She gets out a piece of paper and gives my number and then walks off. Ol boy looks at me and says "ITS WRAP CITY".
After practice niggas come up to me telling me stories about the hoe and tellin me how easy it is to smash so im hyped up b/c it sounds like a sure thing. That night I call her, talk with her a lil bit, and end up setting up a fuck session after the playoff game.
On game night I didn't even get in, so I don't gotta worry about taking a shower after. After I get dressed back into my regular clothes I call my dad and tell him I have a ride home and I go home with the white bitch.
So we get to her house and she tells me once we get inside I gotta be quiet as hell so I dont wake up her dad. Before she put the key in to open the door the bitch gets close to me and starts lickin my face. At first im like hell yea....this bitch is a true freak. But then I get a wiff of her breath It smelt like a horse hickup. That was the first sign that let me know this wasn't going to be all that. So we sneak up to her room with no problem. She takes off the clothes, im suckin on her breast, rubbing on her pussy, etc...everythings all good! Then this bitch grabs me by the waist and starts making out with me. Not only did she have some turd breath but shes known to suck everyone off so in my head im like ...but I gotta go through with it cuz i wanna get this pussy. We finally stop kissing and I take a condom out of my wallet and take my clothes off. Im ready for action.
"Wait, I have something better for you". She goes to her dresser and hands me another condom. As I try to put the shit on she says she has to use the bathroom right quick to "take care of something" and tip toes out the room. So im like whatever, and concentrate on how im going to beat this pussy up. I sit on her bed and look around and all of a sudden i hear a BBRRRRRTTTTTTTT. This bitch farted in the bathroom and didn't think I heard it!
Now im thinkin this bitch is nasty as hell, but I still want to fuck so Im like whatever. So she gets back and im ready to put it down. Im already sitting down on her bed so she walks over to me and starts rubbing her ass on me. Thats when I smelt it. The aroma of an unwiped ass hit my nose . This bitch was fowl. Her ass smelt like straight shit! But there was nothing I could do . She was my only way of getting home so I couldn't tell her her butt stinked. I proceeded to hit it after some sup par head. The whole ride home she keeps talking and talking, like she doesn't even know that... 1) she has bad breath, 2) i heard her fart in the bathroom 3) she doesn't know how to wipe her ass.
Next week I told everyone what had happened and they clowned that bitch. The fucked up part was she if I wanted I could fuck again and it would be better than the last time. I was like hell naw. She sucked me off a few times after that tho

She was nasty to began with!

I'm working in this bank in New York, relocate to Bmore. my boy from the bank wants me to hook up with one of his friends who happened to be a med school doctor at Johns Hopkins in Bmore, I'm like cool, gets the number, give her a call, she sounds good as shit over the phone. We make a date... too smart to let her come to my crib first, so I go visit her. THis was the NASTIEST crib I had ever seen in my life!!!! She had a cat, motherfucking cat went wherever it pleased; litter boxes filled with shit everywhere, dimmmed lights, roaches and shit all over the place.... then she had the nerve to ask me if I wanted something to eat????
She had that old deodorant smell, the kind of smell you smell after your shit been sitting in the laundry basket for a while after its been in a good gym workout, and its ready for a good washing; only problem was that she still was wearing it. I was looking for the first opportunity to roll the fuck out of that nasty ass house!!! Finally made some lame excuse to roll out, gets to the car, all I could do was to shake all my shit out to make sure I didn't have any roaches on me, it was terrible!

Hygiene and cleanliness have nothing to do with education!

man heres my funny ass fucked up story

It was 1994, I had just met this fine bitch in the supermarket. She was 22 years old, petite, with some big ass hips and a flat ass stomach. So I really wanted to fuck this broad. I would take her to dinner and shit like that, desperately trying to get that ass. Anyways one night I took her to Dinner at Ponderosa. Ponderosa was the shit back then. She whispers that tonight is the night, its a fuckin rainstorm outside, and that lightening and thunder makes her horny. Im like bet. Im about to finally fuck this bitch. We get to her crib and head straight to her bedroom. Its about 9pm. Niggah 9:05 im in the guts. Niggah 9:10 it happens. I hear an old lady scream" OLE JESUS, THE DEVIL IS A LIE." Next thing you know, WACK WACK WACK! This old bitch is hitting me with a metal umbrella. The bitch im fuckin is yelling, Madea Stop, Madea Stop! Fuck man that shit hurt like hell, so I bounce out the bed, hard dick an all, and grab the umbrella out of the old ladies hand. I grab the shit and the old lady falls. The bitch screams and says I hit her grandmother...She jumps on my back. which is pouring with blood and starts to choke a niggah. The bitch is crying biting me and shit. So I slung the dumb bitch off me. It dark and I dont know the house that well. Im looking for my jeans, stub my toe, and then I fall in pain. But the adrenaline is going. I hear granny yelling how she has to find her rifle, so im like fuck. I finally grabbed my jeans and ran outside to my car. I heard them yelling all kinds of shit at me, but I really couldnt decode it. I went to the hospital since my shoulder was on fire. The old bitch put in some work. I needed 19 fuckin stiches. Hell I can still see the scar today. Both of those bitches moved about a year later. Man my boys still clown me when I tell this story.

One of my boys got caught by his girl's mom, who was hitting him with a broom. He was running from mom with his clothes in hand when her nanna came to her bedroom door. He tried to slow down but ended up running over her. As they fell, he said his draws started coming down as he scraped up against her. So, they are on the ground with nanna's wig falling off and this ninja dick and balls in her face. When this ninja showed us the face that nanna did when he was trying to get off of her, we just about died.

Stinky pussy seems to be the theme of this thread, and i have no doubt ran into a few. I met this model chick, took a while to beat it up, got her home, pussy leaped out the panties before i got em off. Foul! I'm think "Model, fine as hell, in shape, it can't stink, right?" Wrrrrrrong!!!!!

But, what i noticed was, chick these days focus so much on looking good in their outfits that they slack off in the shower. I've found that fat girls (who ain't hit at least one) seem to know they need to get their shit right, fat or not. But, these fine women's pussies often stink.

Lastly, as odd as it sounds, slutty women usually have cleaner pussy than so-called moral women. At least hoes know they are giving it up to somebody before the night is out, but ain't nothing worse than getting Ms. Goody two shoes home, and her pussy has enough hair to build a campfire, plus, stinks!

I don't even bother messing with chicks when they have their "outfits" on. All them tight outfits have too much stuff marinating! I learned my lesson.

By the way... The pill can really fuck with a woman's cycle if they don't take them the way they are supposed to.

Agreed! Many woman have bad cycles before they take the pill. One of my girls use to get so sick I just was like I would just wear rubbers because all of the headaches and stuff were not worth it!

Oh yeah. There was this girl who was good friends with my family. Infact, both of our families got on well. Now we were around 15 at the time (experimental stage) so I used to go over her house and we'd fuck around alot. Now trust me when I say this girl was fine. She lived with her Grandma who I was cool with, hence the reason she allowed me to go over to her house and in her granddaughter's room.

Now me and her thought we were real sly, messing with each other behind her Grandma's back. Now bear in mind this chick is a high yellla. I remember I was really kissing and necking her. She got pissed off because I left her with alot of love bites around her neck. Her grandma calls us downstairs to help with the cooking. She's panicking at this point because she thinks her Grandma will figure it out. So we go downstairs and the stupid bitch keeps on putting her hands around her neck (only bringing more attention to her neck.) Her Grandma I'm sure notices but doesn't say anything.

So we finish helping her with the cooking and we go back to her room. So now we're fucking really hard (we have our clothes on incase her Grandma walks in) and her Grandma calls my name and asks me to help her move some heavy boxes. So I get up and go downstairs. Now the grandma looks at me oddly but she doesn't anything. She simply points to the boxes and I move them. The Grandma avoids eye contact with me and I'm thinking "What the hell do I have on my face?" Once I'm finished, she says thank you and I go back upstairs. So I go inside the girl's room and she looks at me in horror, pointing to my pants, and I see my rock hard dick poking out of zipper. I swear I felt sick. Her Grandma saw this the whole time and she didn't say nothing. Maybe she was embarrassed. I was angry at myself for not realizing. I swear, I had to go straight home after that because I was scared of what her Grandma would tell my parents.

Little dick problems!

All of these bloody pussy, shitty paties, and stank pussy stories tell me one thing. Home training is lacking with a lot of these chics. COT DAYUM!!

All funny stuff non the less.....

You're a effing genius!

 

[sherminator]

Okay there's this girl I've been fucking around with for awhile and like ever since the day we first fucked, I've been saying "you'd be the shit, if you started givin' head".

So one day she tells me that she wanted to try sucking dick and wanted me to be first. So I'm like alright.

I sat on her couch and she got on her knees and leaned in my lap and I should've known she didn't know what the hell she was doin' by the way she pulled my dick out. Like she had it in her hand, like she was about to yank it out, I'm like "Hey, easy, take your time, do it right" and that's also when I said to myself "Ah damn, I ain't gone like this".


So she starts suckin' and needless to say it was terrible. Like she made it a little wet, but then she started blowin' and it made my dick dry 'til it was kinda ashy.

Then she did the most tragic thing that could happen when you have oral sex.

She FUCKIN' BIT ME!!! That shit hurt like fuck. She was like "sorry, are you okay?" I was damn outraged. I didn't want to snap on her, but I didn't want her to keep goin' either.

I'm like "I'm cool, I'm cool" and she kept on going and the whole time, in my mind, I'm prayin' that I make it through this head.

And just when I think she sucking at a good, stable efficient rate, THIS BITCH BIT ME AGAIN!!! THE FUCK MAN!!!??? TWICE!!! TWICE!!! Then her teeth scrapped my head while it was coming out of her mouth. I'm thinking to myself "am I bleeding?......I am...I am bleeding!!!"

She knew she bit me because I trembled when she did it. She's like "I'm so sorry, are you alright?" I'm like "You know what, just forget this, we'll give a try some other day, I gotta go".

To be honest, I felt like crying. I got to my car, got a towel out the trunk, stuff it in my fly, pulled it back out, and saw spots of blood. That's when I started crying.

I remember racing home, pressing the towel into my lap, screaming and singing "Human Nature" by Michael Jackson because it was on the radio but I only knew the chorus and the bridge.

I was like "ahhh why...why, oh this ain't no damn human nature, this ain't natural, oh why...why...bitch, why you do me this way!!!"

I was drowsy. I thought I was gone pass out. My dick was hurtin for like two weeks. And if it got hard, I'm in straight agony.

What also sucked, was about week after the girl bit me, another girl wanted to have sex with me, and I couldn't because my dick was hurtin' but I didn't want to tell her that. She thought it was because of her and she was on some "oh my pussy not good anymore" type of shit, I remember sayin' "You don't understand, you don't even know...You don't even KNOW!!!"

Ghost......you said you were trembling I lost it nigga I'm weak right now

Many don't learn hygiene at home!


She was nasty to began with!


Hygiene and cleanliness have nothing to do with education!


One of my boys got caught by his girl's mom, who was hitting him with a broom. He was running from mom with his clothes in hand when her nanna came to her bedroom door. He tried to slow down but ended up running over her. As they fell, he said his draws started coming down as he scraped up against her. So, they are on the ground with nanna's wig falling off and this ninja dick and balls in her face. When this ninja showed us the face that nanna did when he was trying to get off of her, we just about died.



I don't even bother messing with chicks when they have their "outfits" on. All them tight outfits have too much stuff marinating! I learned my lesson.

Agreed! Many woman have bad cycles before they take the pill. One of my girls use to get so sick I just was like I would just wear rubbers because all of the headaches and stuff were not worth it!


Little dick problems!


You're a effing genius!

It took me the better part of a few days but this thread is pure comedy

 

[meilmarc]

Classic thread

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

Damn! This thread is like 7 yrs old...can't believe I didn't add a story..ya wanna hear it? Here it goes...

A few years ago, I met a babe online...Match, I think, and we planned to meet at Taste of Atlanta. Baby was cute...damn near 6' and a nice body.

We walked around eating different stuff and had a few drinks. After a few hours, while talking, she mentioned her son (grown) wouldn't be home, so told her why go home. Follow me to my crib and chill. She said cool.

We get to my crib and I made us a drink and we started some light making out and decided to move it up to my bedroom. Baby smelled weed and said she hadn't smoked in awhile and wouldn't mind burning one, before we fucked.

I rolled one up, she hit it a few times, I finished it and we started getting undressed.
I was playing with her pussy, as she was sitting on my bed and I noticed she looked kinda funny...her eyes were kinda rolling in her head.

I Ax if she's ok and next thing I know, she sprints to the bathroom, puts her face in the toilet and starts puking.

So, she's on the floor, naked, head in my toilet, hair damn near in the toilet water and violently gettin Ill. I spent the next hour keeping her head outta the water.

Baby was moaning, apologizing, kinda passed out for a minute...I knew there wasn't gonna be no fuckin that nite. Next morning she got up and although she felt ok, there was no way I wanted to hit, after that episode.

Some of what she ate at ToA must didnt agree with her...

 

[kew]

WTF was this story about lmao

 

[spider705]

Mmmmaaaaannnnnnnn how did i miss this thread?

I'll be back with a story or two...

 

[BigDaddyBuk]

9 year bump.

and 9 years later i just read your original post.

i almost threw up.

Thanks, Obama.

 

[NICKLEBAGKILLA]

^

 

[APOPHIS]

These stories are priceless!


My worst experience occurred about 2 ½ years ago with this girl who attends my university. We did some casual dating every once in a while but nothing serious enough to get me some pussy action. Then one day we headed to the movies to see a flick (Farenheit 9/11 I believe) & in the middle of the movie I begin to get frisky. I start fondling & squeezing this bitch’s titties very hard. Now mind she’s sucking on my ear, grabbing my balls, and all types of crazy shit. This girl’s ass is fuckin’ nice! Round, brown, and mine to crown. I begin rubbing her clit w/ through her jeans and the bitch starts moaning and groaning like a cow givin’ birth. At this point I’m dick-hard and ready to fuck right then and there in the theater. I finally get her to drop her pants and the minute she does my dick went flaccid quicker then a hose being turned off. The pussy stench was in full fuckin’ force that night. Now at first I was like fuck it, I haven’t had pussy in months and was eager to smash. The more I fingered the clit, the stronger the odor becomes. At this point I dunno whether to tell the bitch that her shit smells like rotten grits mashed with 10 day old fish or just remain hush. Then it hit me, I fingered her some more and purposely waved my finger right underneath her nose in a casual nonchalant manner. Needless to say, her ass came up w/ crazy excuses to not continue. She was like ”oh we’re in a movie theater and we might get caught.” LOL!! Wash yo’ shit you skank!! Up till this very day she still wanna fuck but I learned my lesson.

PUSSY STENCH IS NO JOKE!

LOL! Who bumped this?

Hey there young self, I am proud of you for not ever having been in a situation this bad in the last 10 years. LOL!
Man, I wish I could gto back and fuck so many of these college chicks I missed out on.

 

[dHustla]

Bump