The worst experience with a hoe...

[osirianprncpl]

Man it is some funny as stories in this thread, especially the cat in the closet shittin bricks until the roommate saves him.

I got another one to share.

I met this sista at an afterhours not long after I left Oklahoma, this sista was about a 6 on looks and about an 8 on the body, so I got her number and hollered at her for about two weeks. On one occasion she tells me about how she's taking medicine because she had recently had an operation on her uterus, well the day comes, and I go over to her house, we start fuckin around and I go down to suck that pussy like I had told her I would and I take a look at her pussy and it looked like someone had kicked her in her shit with some ice cleets, I could'nt eat no pussy that looked like that, so I just kissed it. Now I move on to the next phase and start fucking, about three strokes in I notice that her insides feel like I'm fuckin a bowl of wet cement, they say there's no such thing as bad pussy, but I disagree. I could hear in my head my dick telling my balls to "Hurry the Fuck Up", so i bust my nut and make an excuse to bounce quick. Well she comes into my job about 4yrs later and gives me this look like; "No fuckin,pussy eaten ass nigga!", I return the look like," Ugly, wet cement pussy bitch!".

 

[Dwayne Wayne]

I get this call from my ex a few years back we talk and she asks me to come over later that evening. We were cool so i see no problem.
I get over there around seven and she gets real freaky, Sucking me off letting me hit both holes. man I was tearing it up.

About nine pm I get up to go cause I had a real date at eleven and she has dead bolted the doors from the inside and hid the keys. I thought she was playing but she wasn't. She started acting all weird saying "I'm not going to get away now." and she "never stopped loving me."

At 10:15 I had enough of the bull and I grabbed the phone and dialed 911 she pulls the cord out the wall mid conversation. Next thing i know I hear 4 or 5 Squad cars lights blazing they banging on the door.

They separate us and take our stories. "I believe they think i raped her."

Short end of it: I left there around 11:30 with no charges. cause her story kept changing. Needless to say I never talked to her again.

Moral of the story is: You can never go back.

 

[Criptonite187]

what? man, eat a deeyak.

what are u? 15 years old?

Eat a Deeyak? What The Fuck is A DEeyak U gay Ass Nigga. Am I 15 Naw Nigga I'm ur new Step Dad. Go to ur Room and stop eatin Ur Moms Pussy Son.

If U need to Eat Pussy to Keep a Bitch good for u.... Simp Ass Nigga But My Mandingo does Just right u fuckin FAGoT. Swallow a Nut and Shut the Fuck up Dick Ridin Hoe. ddddd Damn Right BITCH.

 

[DEACONFROST]

I'm ready to throw up just reading about it

 

[Damn Right]

Eat a Deeyak? What The Fuck is A DEeyak U gay Ass Nigga. Am I 15 Naw Nigga I'm ur new Step Dad. Go to ur Room and stop eatin Ur Moms Pussy Son.

If U need to Eat Pussy to Keep a Bitch good for u.... Simp Ass Nigga But My Mandingo does Just right u fuckin FAGoT. Swallow a Nut and Shut the Fuck up Dick Ridin Hoe. ddddd Damn Right BITCH.

#1, u can't read. in fact, your reading comprehension skills are dayum near null and void. nobody said pussy was eatin to keep a beatch stupid.
#2, your ridiculous come back let me know all i need to about you. ya don't even have enough game or life experience to be a simp-azz beatch. focus on growing up lil boy. till then sit back, read bgol and try and pick up a few things. till then? shut tha fuk up

 

[alldaypimp]

It was 2004 Exam week senior year and i exempted al but 1 exam. So when i go out of school this chocolate big tittied chick named martisha who i had been fucking with since the 8th grade but who i had only fucked at my crib said she needed a ride home so after we finish the exams i pick her up in front of the school we have some bull shit convo on the way to her crib i had told her iwas coming in she said it was cool so i park in front of her building she lived on the second floor so we get on the her floor but this bitch keeps going up the steps said she had to pick up her 3 year old son from Ms james house im like fuck there goes my plans i say im bout o leave she gives that puppy dog stay face. so im like i aint got shit else to do at 11:45 am on a monday so we get in her house she put her son in the play pen and goes in the kitchen and gets her son a fruit roll up im looking at this little nigga trying to gage how tired i think he might be. So he in his play pen stuggling to ge the aluminum wrapper off of the fruit roll up i take it off for him. thats when ol' girl motions for to come back to her room so i go back there and she started kisiing me i kissing her back we get naked i lay on the bed she starts sucking my dick from the side while i play with da pussy i close my eyes for a bout 10 seconds and when i open them her son is looking right at me holding the fruit rollup wanting me to take the plastic off im like this lil nigga watching his mama suck my dick im in a state of shock im just looking back down at his ma sucking my dick and him just sitting that likes nothings wrong i tell her she yells and cusses at the child for getting at the play pen. i tell her it was wrong for her to cuss at him and said you knew i was going to fuck you should left lil nigga at the babysittersi told her she was on some un fit mother shit she asked did work for social services and i said no she asked was we gonna finish i said yeah so i busted in her mouth and proceeded to fuck her left her lying on her bed. got dressed went in to the kitchen got me and that lil nigga a fruit roll up i opened it then.

I seen them at the mall around christmas and the lil nigga said he remembered me and my girl now who went to high school with me and martisha asked what was he talking about so though it was recent i tried to avoid telling her the full story but in order to keep the peace it old her and after she called around and confirmed the authenticity of it she was shocked now this goofy likes to buy fruit roll ups and get me to open them on some silly shit. But one good thing has come out of the fruit roll up situation is we started using them in the bedroom

 

[Criptonite187]

#1, u can't read. in fact, your reading comprehension skills are dayum near null and void. nobody said pussy was eatin to keep a beatch stupid.
#2, your ridiculous come back let me know all i need to about you. ya don't even have enough game or life experience to be a simp-azz beatch. focus on growing up lil boy. till then sit back, read bgol and try and pick up a few things. till then? shut tha fuk up

U really Startin to Sound Like A Real Fagot. The more I read ur Bullshit The More Gay I really think u are. DAMN RIGHT UR GAY Fuckin simp ass Fagot. Ur Common sense skills are damn near null and void ( Notice how I spelled Damn? (How it's supposed to be spelled Son )Anyway What the fuck do u know about Game? u may have alot of life experience cause ur an old ass Pervert on a Porn site. But U sound Like a Dude from how to Catch a Predator. Don't Start a war u Can't finish Bitch. I Own u remember that. NOW GO TO BED U OLD ASS BITCH

 

[YoungSinister]

yeah so i busted in her mouth and proceeded to fuck her left her lying on her bed. got dressed went in to the kitchen got me and that lil nigga a fruit roll up

 

[Enigma]

years ago, i went over this new chicks crib. her phone keeps ringing & ringing, but she never answered. i read between the lines and went to my car and grabbed my gat.

came back in and started fucking ol' girl (first time hitting it). then someone starts pounding on the door while i'm fucking her, "let me in!" she's like, "oh shit! that's my fiance!" fiance? i keep fucking trying to get my nut off. "don't answer the door" i told her.

dude starts pounding on bedroom window "let me in!",,, i keep fucking,,, dude opens the fucking window,,, it wasn't locked. he's watching me pounding the shit out of his girls pussy,,,

he's furious "come outside homeboy! i'm going to fuck you up!" dude was built like a fucking tank. i threw on my clothes and opened the door,,, dude is still barking like he was about to fuck me up,,, once he saw me cock one in the chamber of the gat, he got silent as a mouse.

as i walked to the car,,, i heard old boy smack fire from her ass, and her body hit the floor. wasn't my battle to fight. never saw her again,,, sad thing was, the pussy wasn't all that.

 

[tonybedward]

Not a stank episode, but kinda funny.

I was in Oklahoma at this club, about 5 crown and cokes down when I started thinking about Richard Pryor saying how 'Ugly bitches got the best pussy'. So I spot this sista that with the lights dim was reasonably ugly, so I stepped to her and talked her into coming to my motel. Now this chick had a dime body, So I can't wait to get her to the room to see if Rich knew what he was talking about, so we made it and the crown had worn down to about 3 strong when I turn on the room light and take a good look at this chick I was like Good Lord! this woman is UUUUUgly. So we strip down, and mind you, I just could'nt stop laughin at how ugly she really was, so I'm tapping my dick on her pussy trying to get stiff and just when I was about there she comes out with; " Baby I know I aint much to look at but I want some of that dick", I just , had to tell her to get dressed, that I just could'nt do it because I was'nt feeling well. Took her home, and still laugh about that shit to this day.

Too Fucking Funny

 

[tonybedward]

So basically you was down there slurping up some cervical mucous, eggs, endometrial cells, vaginal secretions AND blood

Mouse... that was cold.....

 

[big pimp]

The most scarring thing to happen to me was back in the day when I was a youngster.

I walked down to this girls house that stayed 2 streets down from me and convinced her to come back to the crib.

We get back to my house and i'm sucking on her tits and slowly but surely taking her panties down from her skirt.

I start finger fucking this bitch and I started to smell something.

I pull my fingers out this bitches pussy and almost passed the fuck out from the smell.

I go to hand the bitch her panties and see a shit stain that looked like she didn't wipe her ass at all.

Shortly afterwards I got a dbl cheeseburger from Mcdonalds and attempted to it the shit and threw up because the got damn smell had stained my fucking fingers.

The shit lasted for a got damn week(yea nigga I washed and bathed everyday).

That was years ago and to this day I sometimes have flashbacks when I put my two fingers to my face.

She graduated from a private university in Oklahoma, is an AKA and is pre-med.

Engaged I believe and living in DC.

No matter what she does in life she will always be remember as skid to me and my boys.

What you got to top that?

 

[brickcityplayaz]

Got One A Couple Years Ago Actually 6 Years Ago When I Met My Babys Mother Slash My Fiance Now Ended Up Fucking And I Had Been Pleading With Her To Let Me Cum In Her Mouth We Were Trying New Shit Often And Begged Her For 6 Months To Let Me Do It So Finally The Time Came Skeeted In Her Mouth And She Pretended To Swallow A Couple Seconds Went By And She Kissed Me And Spit The Cum In My Mouth And Laughed So The Next Day When I Was Released From County Jail For Atempted Murder We Got Back Together And Been With Her Ever Since.

 

[brickcityplayaz]

Thats why I get my dick sucked FIRST!!Fuck the dumb shit stingy bitches.

True sometimes I even get my shyt sucked and don't even eat the pussy just fuck em so they can see how that shyt feels.... But that is fucked up that shyt happen to me one time and from that point on I always got my shyt sucked first ya dig..

 

[brickcityplayaz]

I have a few stories and i know all about the stank pussy but I am not goin to post that one.. This one is about this chic I was fuckin with about maybe 5years ago she had a nice ass, nice tits, and was a freak.. I met this chic from my job and we started kickin it. A few weeks in I smashed, but one night I called this bitch about 2am in the morning to see what she was doing.... So the bitch tells me to come ova. So I get there about 2:30 maybe 3am now it is 3 in the fucking morning.. So when I am there we start off by talkin a lil bit, but this bitch just kept talking and talking and talking and talking so I am laying next to her burning saying to myself shut the fuck up... Now I am not into tall that kissing shyt so I didn't try to kiss her but i did fuck with her tits.. So this bitch is still talking so I say yo I am about to leave I got to get up early and I left that bitch to talk to her fucking self at 3:30am.. I was mad as hell I left that mutha fucka quick.... I seen the bitch again and stuck my dick in her mouth to shut her the fuck up....

 

[Tony Soprano]

I get this call from my ex a few years back we talk and she asks me to come over later that evening. We were cool so i see no problem.
I get over there around seven and she gets real freaky, Sucking me off letting me hit both holes. man I was tearing it up.

About nine pm I get up to go cause I had a real date at eleven and she has dead bolted the doors from the inside and hid the keys. I thought she was playing but she wasn't. She started acting all weird saying "I'm not going to get away now." and she "never stopped loving me."

At 10:15 I had enough of the bull and I grabbed the phone and dialed 911 she pulls the cord out the wall mid conversation. Next thing i know I hear 4 or 5 Squad cars lights blazing they banging on the door.

They separate us and take our stories. "I believe they think i raped her."

Short end of it: I left there around 11:30 with no charges. cause her story kept changing. Needless to say I never talked to her again.

Moral of the story is: You can never go back.

If only you had a ultility belt. You could've got out of that place easy.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

I took ol girl in the bathroom, and told her about her friend...I was like, you ate her out and didn't smell or taste that her pussy was steaming like toxic waste? * She looked at me funny, got mad cause I said something, and left. I waled back in there, grabbed my pants and left them hoes there....unfortunately, once the semester began, my roommate started dating the funky chick, and lemme tell ya, two funky ass white people fuckin....will make you wanna kill someone quick

*=I'm sorry,but this kind of rhymed like it would be in a Dolemite routine

 

[Riggz]

at this thread

One of my first sexual experiences scared the hell out of me. My parents went away on vacation and my girlfriend and I had the house to ourselves. I invited her over and we spent the time fuckin the shit out of each other.
So one time I'm fucking her and I bust quick...I didn't let her know because it was ridiculously quick so I kept fuckin her (pussy is too damn good your first few times). So my dick is still hard and I'm fuckin her and I'm thinkin to myself this shit is so fuckin good..I can't stop. I look down at my dick to watch it disappear in and out of the pussy and to my surprise I notice the fuckin condom I was wearing is gone! A young brotha panicked...I started freakin out but I didn't let her notice..at least I don't think she noticed. I have no idea where it went then it occurs to me that it may have slipped off inside her. I play it smooth and start to finger her and I feel the shit in there. I stick another finger in there and I scissor the condom out of her with my fingers.
I never told her and she didn't say anything so I assume she didn't notice. For the next 2-3 weeks..I'm freakin the fuck out because I am scared as fuck some sperm got out of the condom and would get her pregnant. Luckily she had her period and I was in the clear. whew.

Thank God for my fingers.

 

[max-dawg]

So basically you was down there slurping up some cervical mucous, eggs, endometrial cells, vaginal secretions AND blood

Oh my bad I forgot good ol' uterine lining

hell, you might as well keep going...

some residual piss
yeast
pussy sweat
another man's cum (no homo)

damn... i just made myself sick.

 

[MissMighty]

hell, you might as well keep going...

some residual piss
yeast
pussy sweat
another man's cum (no homo)

damn... i just made myself sick.

Just when I thought I had it all thanks.

 

[Hotdamn]

I got one... In my college days, I met this broad... (light skin, long hair... black and spanish... cute face, toungue ring, banging body)

I put game down for like a strong month, (I hate the hoes that try to play the "good girl" role when both of yall know she's slept with more than "3" people) and finally "convinced" her to let me smash...

I get ova to her spot and she's drinking evaclear, so I knew I was about to massage the back of her belly button/rubb her ribs She's laying on the bed, I'm helping her disrobe... I'm touching on her titts and shit... thinking, I hope this broad doesn't "fall in love" with a nigga after I smash... her cat, (the animal) is walking around jumping on shit and what not... I ask to use her bathroom, (which is connecting to her bedroom), and immediately after walking through the door, was like damn, ma needs to change the litter box, this cat smells like a book of struck matches..... I shrug it off and wash my hands and what not, tryin to hurry back to ol girl, laying there looking all sexy and shit... and as the cat walked around the room, I caught a whiff again.... This time it smelled WORSE... along the lines of a grown man shitting in a heated nonventalated bathroom! but hey, ol girl was laying there looking sexy... I jumped outta my pants and shoes... lay on the bed... give her a kiss on the neck and what not... and proceeded to move the drawes to the side and I give her the finger test before I put on the rubber....(thank GOD) Fellaz, her shit smelled like microwaved tuna in a can, raw uncooked chittlenz, a paperfactory, locker room (football after a game), baby throwup, burning tires, and dumpster juice... I promptly, stuck that finer in her mouth, told her I had to wake up early to finish studing for a test... washed my hands and bounced. Nigga was pissed

 

[RUDY RAYYY MO]

9th grade.I'm trying to get up and drag my pants on and this huge muffukka grabs me by my arm and throat. I'm struggling to pull my shit up and he's steady trying to choke me to death.

Damn homey u got DE BOWED. Then you let him punk u out later J/K funny story though

 

[RUDY RAYYY MO]

ewwl's story about the chick w/ the shitty drawls brought back memories.

While stationed in Germany I met this red bone Eritrean chick at the club shorty was bad kinda reminds me of PINKY short,thick ass etc. Anyway a week later I drive almost two fuckin hours to her crib in FRANKFURT my shit was hard the entire drive cause shorty was just that fine. So I knock and she opens the door but ass naked didnt say shit just takes my hand and leads me to her bedroom. We start to kiss and shit so I pulled of the panties man I swear if she didnt have a shit streak as long as the GERMAN AUTOBAHN.

Man after I saw that my dick went limp in a fuckin nano sesond. I couldnt get hard to save my fucking life. So I had my boy to call me to make it seem that work needed me immediatly,I told her it was an emergency at the job and got the fuck on

 

[max-dawg]

Just when I thought I had it all thanks.

[joking] besides what is natural for a woman, i hope that you don't have any of that.[/joking].

 

[Sofa_King_What]

ewwl's story about the chick w/ the shitty drawls brought back memories.

While stationed in Germany I met this red bone Eritrean chick at the club shorty was bad kinda reminds me of PINKY short,thick ass etc. Anyway a week later I drive almost two fuckin hours to her crib in FRANKFURT my shit was hard the entire drive cause shorty was just that fine. So I knock and she opens the door but ass naked didnt say shit just takes my hand and leads me to her bedroom. We start to kiss and shit so I pulled of the panties man I swear if she didnt have a shit streak as long as the GERMAN AUTOBAHN.

Man after I saw that my dick went limp in a fuckin nano sesond. I couldnt get hard to save my fucking life. So I had my boy to call me to make it seem that work needed me immediatly,I told her it was an emergency at the job and got the fuck on

Aiight brah. I want to believe your story but you need to be consistent.

 

[RUDY RAYYY MO]

Aiight brah. I want to believe your story but you need to be consistent.

Okay I admit you caught me lying on my dick ban me please

 

[Tony Soprano]

at this thread

One of my first sexual experiences scared the hell out of me. My parents went away on vacation and my girlfriend and I had the house to ourselves. I invited her over and we spent the time fuckin the shit out of each other.
So one time I'm fucking her and I bust quick...I didn't let her know because it was ridiculously quick so I kept fuckin her (pussy is too damn good your first few times). So my dick is still hard and I'm fuckin her and I'm thinkin to myself this shit is so fuckin good..I can't stop. I look down at my dick to watch it disappear in and out of the pussy and to my surprise I notice the fuckin condom I was wearing is gone! A young brotha panicked...I started freakin out but I didn't let her notice..at least I don't think she noticed. I have no idea where it went then it occurs to me that it may have slipped off inside her. I play it smooth and start to finger her and I feel the shit in there. I stick another finger in there and I scissor the condom out of her with my fingers.
I never told her and she didn't say anything so I assume she didn't notice. For the next 2-3 weeks..I'm freakin the fuck out because I am scared as fuck some sperm got out of the condom and would get her pregnant. Luckily she had her period and I was in the clear. whew.

Thank God for my fingers.

That's EXACTLY why I hate trojan brand!!!

 

[ineedafix jr]

Hoes - Females (or males, for the ladies) that often have sex with more than one partner over a short period of time....


Real shit, right?...Well,

back in the 90's worked the night shift, met this parking garage attendant;..not really fine, but cool as fuck and kept a brotha occupied and awake at night with conversation.....so we hook up finally outside of work at my crib one new years eve....brotha hooked up some hot wings and had the champagne flowing....anyway, we get pissy drunk and get to some serious fuckin'....wet her up wit the bubbly, got freaky wit the bottle up her ass, fucked her every which way i could and then some...(bout 3 or 4 rounds)...what a night, right? WRONG........several days later guess what?? my shit is on FIRRRREEEE!!!!.....so that same night, i head into work, park my shit and walk straight over to the garage booth...she saw me coming and immediately knew what was on my mind...she ran over to lock the door and window and was pleading with me to not be mad....NOT BE MAD? BITCH, you knew your shit was flamin' before we got busy, you could have gave me a warning or some shit....(but, if i was smart back then, i would've strapped up...so it was my own damn fault..) Anyway, about a week later, I had a group of my boys roll up on her ass and robbed her shit.....her boss got an anonymous tip saying she was in on it...her ass got axed and i ain't seen the hoe neva gin

#2

Couldn't make this shit up if i wanted to.......Back in high school, my boy was fuckin' with this hoe out in the burbs...she was supposed to be mad crazy about black dick cause there wasn't none out where she was at...word was niggas was coming in by the van load on weekends to hit that shit....(father worked nights)..so my boy turned me and the fellas on to her (he had went on a previous visit) and one weekend we all load up in the 86 Chevy Astro (ya'll remember that shit) and roll out east to see what the hype is about....so we get their and my boy is like, let me go hook it up, ya'll wait here....so he go in and get things started..he come back out about 10 minutes later and say it's a go.....so we all hop out (five of us) and get ready to get our shit on....we go up to her room and we're outside the door standin in line like she handing out food stamps or somethin....she open the bedroom door butt ass naked and says she's only taking two at a time (suck one/fuck one style)....my boy had owed me a favor on a previous hook up so i was bumped to the front of the line, and he went in with me...he was like, "you can have dem guts, I hit a few weeks ago." i was like "bet", she was heading toward the bed and i was pulling out my shit and strappin up...she turned doggy-style and it was on....i grabbed that ass from behind, no warm up stroke, just started to ramrod that shit....a few minutes later, i was heating up to blow my load and i felt something like sand paper on my thigh...i thought it was my shirt scratching me or something, so i didn't think nothing about it, i keep fuckin'...a few seconds later i feel it again...i look down and to my surprise, it was a fuckin' cat lickin' my leg...it had hopped up on the seat of the chair next to me and started fuckin trying to sex me up....i was like what the fuck!!??...i pull out of her and turn around and just as i did, the condom started swinging around, so the fuckin' cat started trying to paw at it....i pulled that shit off threw it in the corner and the cat fuckin' goes after it....about this time, my boy sees this shit and is rollin' like "what the fuck is you doin?"...i said "there's a fuckin cat"....as i'm pullin up my shit, she finishes him off and is like "she ain't going to hurt you, she just likes to watch.."....i'm like, "whatever, i'm done"...and start walkin' out..they are both laughin' their asses off, and i'm out the door headin' back to the van...i'm tellin' the other niggas as i pass by, "you better watch yo shit, there's a fuckin' freaky ass cat up there..."...moral of the story, always ask about pets before going to some strange new pussy....

 

[Tony Soprano]

Couldn't make this shit up if i wanted to.......Back in high school, my boy was fuckin' with this hoe out in the burbs...she was supposed to be mad crazy about black dick cause there wasn't none out where she was at...word was niggas was coming in by the van load on weekends to hit that shit....(father worked nights)..so my boy turned me and the fellas on to her (he had went on a previous visit) and one weekend we all load up in the 86 Chevy Astro (ya'll remember that shit) and roll out east to see what the hype is about....so we get their and my boy is like, let me go hook it up, ya'll wait here....so he go in and get things started..he come back out about 10 minutes later and say it's a go.....so we all hop out (five of us) and get ready to get our shit on....we go up to her room and we're outside the door standin in line like she handing out food stamps or somethin....she open the bedroom door butt ass naked and says she's only taking two at a time (suck one/fuck one style)....my boy had owed me a favor on a previous hook up so i was bumped to the front of the line, and he went in with me...he was like, "you can have dem guts, I hit a few weeks ago." i was like "bet", she was heading toward the bed and i was pulling out my shit and strappin up...she turned doggy-style and it was on....i grabbed that ass from behind, no warm up stroke, just started to ramrod that shit....a few minutes later, i was heating up to blow my load and i felt something like sand paper on my thigh...i thought it was my shirt scratching me or something, so i didn't think nothing about it, i keep fuckin'...a few seconds later i feel it again...i look down and to my surprise, it was a fuckin' cat lickin' my leg...it had hopped up on the seat of the chair next to me and started fuckin trying to sex me up....i was like what the fuck!!??...i pull out of her and turn around and just as i did, the condom started swinging around, so the fuckin' cat started trying to paw at it....i pulled that shit off threw it in the corner and the cat fuckin' goes after it....about this time, my boy sees this shit and is rollin' like "what the fuck is you doin?"...i said "there's a fuckin cat"....as i'm pullin up my shit, she finishes him off and is like "she ain't going to hurt you, she just likes to watch.."....i'm like, "whatever, i'm done"...and start walkin' out..they are both laughin' their asses off, and i'm out the door headin' back to the van...i'm tellin' the other niggas as i pass by, "you better watch yo shit, there's a fuckin' freaky ass cat up there..."...moral of the story, always ask about pets before going to some strange new pussy....

 

[twiggy]

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^LM FUCKIN ASS OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



but my contribution I had my chick and like some one up the page I was was fucking skeeted and kept fuckin...like so i kept fucking and the shit kept feeling better and better I pulled out and looked down at the nonexistant condom and I tell her she goes into the bathroom and pulls out the condom so we start laying in the bed and I'm embarassed and shit...anyways weeks later we break up and she's actin all funny and shit...I got it out one of her friends that she was pregnant and she had an abortion...damn I was feeling like that's fucked up but I didn't know

 

[whiteboytx]

Was actually a cool experience...because we left the front door open and the glass storm door unlocked one Sunday afternoon...and my neighbor's wife accidently walked in on my cousin and I fucking on the sofa...right as I'm planting my sperm load...and so she got to see me pull my hard dick out...dripping cum.

Cuz and I don't even bother with what we're wearing anymore if the neighbor wife comes over...and she thinks it's cool as hell that my cuz and I have a sexual relationship...and is now wishing she'd been boning with her brother while they were in high school.

 

[YoungSinister]

cat walked around the room, I caught a whiff again.... This time it smelled WORSE... along the lines of a grown man shitting in a heated nonventalated bathroom!

Hoes - Females (or males, for the ladies) that often have sex with more than one partner over a short period of time....


Real shit, right?...Well,

back in the 90's worked the night shift, met this parking garage attendant;..not really fine, but cool as fuck and kept a brotha occupied and awake at night with conversation.....so we hook up finally outside of work at my crib one new years eve....brotha hooked up some hot wings and had the champagne flowing....anyway, we get pissy drunk and get to some serious fuckin'....wet her up wit the bubbly, got freaky wit the bottle up her ass, fucked her every which way i could and then some...(bout 3 or 4 rounds)...what a night, right? WRONG........several days later guess what?? my shit is on FIRRRREEEE!!!!...

Damn I hope it was somethin that was curable

 

[YoungSinister]

Aiight brah. I want to believe your story but you need to be consistent.

oh shit

 

[FreQ247365]

Damn homey u got DE BOWED. Then you let him punk u out later J/K funny story though

nigga please that was that bitches father and yeah, he might as well have been Debo, cocksmoker! I was 14, and like 95lbs soaking wet with bricks in my pockets trying to fight off a grown ass man who caught me balls deep in his daughter, asspipe! You'd be lying if you said you could do different with your pants around your knees, trying to run and fight off some bitch's angry pops at the same time, goat smegma!! And how did he punk me, you gay mo sexual fruit sucker? I punched him in the mouth, ass water! You gotta be careful fucking white girls in the south and punching their daddies in the mouth, ball scratching retard! J/K homey, but you right, that shit is kind of funny NOW . I was terrified at the time tho. I thought I was going to jail for real. Peace.

 

[bham_brotha]

Hell i'm bored so I figure i'll tell one that I never told anyone.

It was my freshman year in college, first month of school and being that my parents were strict as hell on me I was trying to strike anything that I could. The university I attended did cross-enrolled courses with another university across town and there was this one female in my african american humanities course that always sat in the front row...glasses on and she never did anything but get her lesson, pack up and head straight to her car and bounce. A few of the cats in class tried to get at her and got shotdown..figured I would too but what the hell. Approached her after class one day and we exchanged numbers. We talked a few times and she told me that she lived with her parents on the military base in town.

One day after class she invited me over and told me to meet her there in about an hour. I got to the base and pulled up to her crib..she told me to park on the street so I did..got out and went in the house. I went in the house and she led me to her room. We talked for a few...then got into the motions. About 10 mins after I got into it I heard the garage door opening and she practically pushed me up off her and and onto the floor...yelled "MY DAD IS HERE!" I'm sittin there like damn youre grown why are you trippin like that...she points to the picture on her night stand and its her dad...who is a 6'5 285 MP for the military. She said he's VERY over-protective and would try to kill me if he caught me.

The way the house was made...I figured I could slide out the side door before he got into the hallway but her dumbass pushes me into the closet before I could react. Keep in mind it's in July and hotter than all hell in there. She left out of the room and I could hear her talkin to him..he asked her why she had on a robe and she said she had just gotten out of the shower. I got out of the closet and said fuck that if he come in the room im gonna be ready...so I picked up the lamp and was gonna knock the shit out of him and run if he came in there. The door opened and as I cocked back it was her...she said he was in the bathroom takin a shit and she pushed me down the hallway and out the front door.

On the way back to the dorm im sittin here thinkin i'm 18...why the hell was I hidin in a closet? Fucked up thing was I couldnt even hit her in my dorm room because we didnt have in room visitation. When I got back to my room this heffa actually had the nerve to call my phone and say that her dad was gone back to work and that I could come back. I'm like, are you shittin me?