I ask that question almost every goddamn week. Isn't he suppose to have a book coming out?
*two cents*
Successful, black and lonely
- Thread starter Brigade4Radiant
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I ask that question almost every goddamn week. Isn't he suppose to have a book coming out?
*two cents*
El Relax,
You are in the wrong place for now. As a Chi-town native who left to live elsewhere(NY), I say that NOT because there aren't good/smart ppl here (I'm back 'here' briefly), but consider U of C, Northwestern, Loyola, UIC, and U of I (my alma mater), and some sharp ppl that never attended college are here. So there are PLENTY of 'educated' ppl in the Chi. BUT that's NOT what we're really talking about here, it's the mentality . . . really.
Your upbringing is transcontinental . . . so your experience is informing your interests, and Chicagoans aren't a largely progressive ppl. According to the description of yourself, (if true) you don't 'fit' the typical mold here. TRUST, I SEE the mundaneness all day. Almost ALL of the ppl I know from here that were/are progressive, and young enough to do so, left. I can't tell you how SHOCKED I was to see SO MANY classmates in Brooklyn, or in Soho. Which was a surprise that to sometime to warm to.
I'm not saying move to New York. I'm saying realize that as cool as the Chi can be (when you find the right circles), It's STILL a VERY conservative, traditional minded(although dysfunctionally so), oriented city. That BROAD more worldly person is uncommon here, because Chicagoans typically stay put. I still have old associates AND family who've never been to the northside or westside and think sushi is for weirdos . . . seriously. You are an outlier, which prove the rule as others have mentioned. Food for thinkers.
JG
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Why some people persist in referring to this site as being a mere "Porn site" is beyond me.
Not enough brothers focused on schooling compared to the women. I expect to see more black women marrying outside their race as time goes along. Why should anyone be unequally yoked?
And underlying this mismatch in level of education is a very complex situation: Black Man vs. The System has been a long ongoing battle and the System may have won.
Young black men are being programmed with certain emotional and egotistical needs that the way things are set up, set them up to fail. Black boys are bombarded daily with images that feed their violent egotistical side, yet to succeed in America, you need to be like Obama i.e. have your ego in check.
And underlying this mismatch in level of education is a very complex situation: Black Man vs. The System has been a long ongoing battle and the System may have won.
Young black men are being programmed with certain emotional and egotistical needs that the way things are set up, set them up to fail. Black boys are bombarded daily with images that feed their violent egotistical side, yet to succeed in America, you need to be like Obama i.e. have your ego in check.
Real talk. I went to college with extremely educated, well-adjusted Black women in which a majority of them were good-looking (If I only knew how different it would be post-college). Most of, if not all these women, are married. Or engaged to be married. Most are post-grad school and had no trouble finding men. The ones who are single are either focusing on education or had sorry personalities that made them unattractive.
Most of these "woe is me" successful Black women that can't find men fall into the latter. There is something so off-putting about their attitude than no man wants to deal with it. Either they feel so entitled because they have a degree or whatever the case may be.
A nigga would rather "struggle" to pay bills than "struggle" to deal with a bitch.
Women are more focused on DEGREES than educations.
No one hear has answered the question; what type of degrees do these bitches have? That's a rhetorical question by the way. When I was in college, I did not see ONE Black bitch in the engineering departments, there was only ONE in the graphic design departments, TWO in the business departments, and a shit load of them in the psych classes. A high school diploma is more valuable than a BA in psych. Now given that these Black bitches with degrees can't find a job NOW, that tells me that their degrees aren't worth a damn.
As for me, as long as the web exists I'm gonna always have work.
Dude, young black men are not the only ones being bombarded with these images that supposedly feed their "violent egotistical sides".
All young men (regardless of race/ethnicity) are subjected to the same aural and visual stimuli that fuels these aspects but only young black men are systematically and institutionally excluded from channelling these impulses positively.
Barak Obama was allowed to channel his innate masculine drive to succeed due to his upbringing which more or less excluded him from most of the pitfalls that some of his peers no doubt fell into.
So to assume that his ego was checked is somewhat fallacious and naive.
Even if we were to go with your position that the system is set up for the black man to fail, how does this explain the success rates of other non-white races faced by the same system?
And at what point do we as a race collectively decide to take our destiny in our own hands and do for self?
For real, dude was nice with his.
And as for electric_relaxtion, it sucks for foriegn-born/raised Black women who have to come to America and get put under the label of American-born Black women, but know that when most of these men are talking about "Black women" and their so-called faults, they are talking about American-born and raised.
Allllright...... you can't say anything if when you decide to go after the one and have a hard time findin' her because some else has snatched her off the market
They WON'T hear you tho'.
Listen up ladies on the board. To a man of accomplishment, educated or otherwise, you are nothing special . . . because THAT'S what we expect of EVERYBODY. Women in general, and Black women in particular, are NEW to power and status, relatively speaking(check your history . . . while you're getting all cute). And many of you wield it, well, as if you're NEW to it . . . like ole' girl in the article. She's VERY immature, like a child with new toy that she was always deprived of. That said, it's not going to be your titles but your CHARACTER that determines the outcome. The power of women, from the stand point of a man . . . lies in THAT which make you a woman . . . not that which makes you a worthy adversary. No man that is a leader will let you lead, not because you can't, because it's not your job. We want navigators to help chart the territory . . . not useless ass ambassadors, trying to hi-jack the 'domestic policy'.
JG
I disagree. Since you are indirectly responding to my statement, it was not made as a pretext for "hurt" egos. Reasonably, why would any man who is successful, be it professionally, academically, financially, feel "inferior" to a similarly situated woman? What's the old mantra, birds of a feather stick together? No, the issue is that some of these women lack certain individual characteristics that a man wants for his WIFE or a significant other! Fuck a "winter boo", "side chick" or whatever classification we concoct for casual lovers.
It's interesting that you mention "inferiority"; why is that one of the bullet points for discussions sistas fall back on in debates about relationships? It's not inferiority, what you are talking about is CONTROL. Some sistas feel that black men want women that they can CONTROL, hence the negative attitudes towards interracial relationships and white women. The misconception is that an educated sister will be harder to "control"
or more specifically, since she has all these paper diplomas that certain relationship tasks are "beneath" them. Sista, those hollow degrees don't reflect the content of your character!! You're not getting chose because you're not relationship worthier, period point blank! It's generally not an inferiority complex. Granted, yes there are brothas who want indentured servants who fuck, clean, cook on command, but that's not the majority.
I've achieved a high level of individual success, but perhaps my greatest accomplishment was finding a black woman that compliments me perfectly. She is my numero uno priority and I am hers. As a result, she will do things for me that other sistas would be appalled to do; namely cook, clean, defer to my decisions at times. Me, I provide her things a man should; protection, love, faithfulness, paint her room, change her oil, put together her furniture. I'll be damned if she has to pay for a meal if we go out together, lift a fucking bag, feel unsafe. Traditional gender roles that are currently not in style.
Side note, glad the bruhs aren't falling for Helena's bullshit and see right through her. I felt something was off with her the few times we crossed paths.. Believe it or not, but every professional young Black in the District is within six degrees of separation; ie. I bet any DC folks on BGOL know these names: Fisayo, Scotty, Mark, Taz and Abdul
Well, my brotha, things are tough all over...you might meet a lot of women, but the problem is finding a QUALITY woman that you can build with, and not someone who has a lot of bullshit issues you don't want to deal with...
Excellent point.
Here are the degrees that I hear thrown around most often:
Psychology
MBA (almost daily)
Criminal Justice (just how many graduates of these do we need?)
Communications (I was warned about this back in the 90s)
Nursing (No problems there; not everyone can be a doctor, someone needs to work the ward)
[flash]http://www.youtube.com/v/RIHm85PvVJ8&hl[/flash]
We (male/female relationships) need healing but if we don't know that we are sick then how can we begin to treat the symptoms?
Props, I believe this is the root of many problems!
Got damn too many gems in this thread! That's why I love this place, when brothas aren't clowning so much debate is fostered!
Why some people persist in referring to this site as being a mere "Porn site" is beyond me.
Yeah man, I don't get that either. . . selective vision maybe??
The truth, the whole whole truth, And nothing but the truth . . so help me self.
JG
...
It's interesting that you mention "inferiority"; why is that one of the bullet points for discussions sistas fall back on in debates about relationships? It's not inferiority, what you are talking about is CONTROL. Some sistas feel that black men want women that they can CONTROL, hence the negative attitudes towards interracial relationships and white women. The misconception is that an educated sister will be harder to "control"
Preach!
I've achieved a high level of individual success, but perhaps my greatest accomplishment was finding a black woman that compliments me perfectly.
Keyword is compliment. A lot of sistas have resorted to become a competitor but conveniently become a potential partner when they say so. No man wants to come home to conflict and opposition.
Side note, glad the bruhs aren't falling for Helena's bullshit and see right through her. I felt something was off with her the few times we crossed paths.. Believe it or not, but every professional young Black in the District is within six degrees of separation; ie. I bet any DC folks on BGOL know these names: Fisayo, Scotty, Mark, Taz and Abdul
actually it's about 3 degrees if you are born and raised in D.C. If you've been here long enough, you become acclimated real quick! 
I'll read it later
I disagree with the last 2 lines. Being another minority is nothing like being black, blacks are sen as the scum of the earth by whites and the other minorities. 2. Blacks already decided to take their destiny into their own hands several times in this country, they were killed and had their communities burned down for doing so. What I do is worry about my damn self and charge forward regardless, I don't care about the system I'll win anyway. In a sense, all you can be is individualistic because black people are so destroyed now, they'd never come together anyway, and you'd waste your time trying. That's reality.
Proverbs 21:19
19It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.
lol...
told y'all how to solve the "problem"
told y'all how to solve the "problem"
*fixed*
Do you but stay out of the way, you may become an obstacle instead of actually helping
JD do you hold a degree?
Believe it or not, but every professional young Black in the District is within six degrees of separation; ie. I bet any DC folks on BGOL know these names: Fisayo, Scotty, Mark, Taz and Abdul
WHHHHOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! Make that 2 degrees . . . TAZ and I attended the same university during the same period. She's REAL cool peoples.
This proves the point I was making to Electric Relaxation. The progressive Chicagoans move . . . And some return to raise families. The world really is small for Black folk.
JG
そうですね！My best friend graduated last year with a BA in Psych from an ivy league school and she is working at Macy's
I don't think any of the ladies on the board try to throw in their degrees, education attained, etc. as a means as to WHY they should be married (if they aren't already), or WHY they can't find a good man. Too many times both men AND women try to throw their education into the pot as a factor into why they deserve a good mate. But, we understand that is not the point. I've seen hundreds of men try to wow me by their labels and their doctorates, etc. but I (and several other ladies) understand one's title does not make up one's character (as another poster on here said so eloquently.)
The bottom line, in all the threads created such as this, is that women and men who fall into both categories exist. Try your luck and see what you get, but, if you truly believe in relationships (for those of you that, perhaps, haven't given up on them
), you'll find what you seek.
Yep, you want to find a mate that suits you, someone that meets you on the same ground financially. Although that is not always the case.
Yes I am.
Electrik, are you half Black/Japanese by any chance?
そうですね！My best friend graduated last year with a BA in Psych from an ivy league school and she is working at Macy's
Now, now, now...hey, hey, hey...
I graduated with a B.A. in Psychology, and went onto obtaining an advanced degree in my specialty in psychology. People, in general (males and females) are stupid of thinking a bachelors in a social science is going to get you far. I learned that in Psychology 201...
I know plenty of people who majored in Psychology in undergrad to go into I/O Psychology, Law School, etc. But, you have to be of the mindset to know what it is you expect to do AFTER graduating rather to think that your bachelors is going to get you far...
Besides, Doctoral level programs in Clinical Psychology are more competitive to enter than even medical school; I learned this while in undergrad. People have to have a plan (or devise one along the way.)
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