Successful, black and lonely

[PointyHeadPimp]

"Ironically, the "issues" can also include being a "strong" woman: the can-do, opinionated type many black women become after growing up in a matriarchal household, the type with whom some men still just can't deal."

The aforementioned is the most telling part of this article, IMO. The problem isn't the education it's the above. The education probably only multiplies the problem, because these women feel like their more equipped to run the household due to their degrees and jobs. They just don't realize men don't want a woman to run the household no matter what you degrees they have.

 

[PointyHeadPimp]

Ok but what about attractive AND educated women of color who are in University trying to have a good career, cultured, worldly, not the Church type, work out at least 4 times a week, uninhibited in the bed, has intelligent conversation, likes to play video games, watch anime/cartoons, loves jazz music and indie movies, is slightly artsy without being hipster, aren't crazy or sick in the head, don't want children until marriage, etc, the list goes on. *coughMEcough*

Why can't women like that find a man? Personally, I don't care if a guy has a degree or not because a degree does not define a person. I just don't want a "thug" or "hood" guy. I also don't want a simp or loser either. Of course I dont want to date an asshole or "high risk man" as dumb ass Rihanna says, but it is incredibly hard for me to find a man who is nice, can put it down in the bedroom (like a "thug" lol) and still retains the essence of what it is to be a man without becoming a simp. The type of black men I am interested in are really hard to find or have been snatched up, at least where I live (chicago) and I usually have to resort to dating other races (which isn't a problem of course but i love brothers).

Obviously, I don't know you so I don't know if this is the case, but most women I know are passive when they see a man they find attractive. You shoulld try going after what you want.

 

[BCAA2009]

In other words, instead of trying to stand around looking cute waiting for the dude to approach her, she needs to swallow her pride and approach him.

That hardly ever happens in this day and age. Instead, they will all of a sudden want to be "traditional" and say things like, "the man is supposed to approach the woman.." yadda,yadda, and so forth.


Also, about the ill advice that they are taking, it only shows that they are mindless sheep and not independent thinkers. They take relationship advice from girlfriends and relatives whose love life is as unstable as our economy. They are just too stupid to realize it.

Whenever they have a friend that says , "Girl you should leave him!!" they need to step back and ask themselves, "hmm, is HER shit in order?"

 

[josteen]

Tom Leykis

he is the FIRST person i thought of while reading through this thread.

 

[josteen]

, but it is incredibly hard for me to find a man who is nice, can put it down in the bedroom (like a "thug" lol)

thats your problem right there..you have been led to believe that only a "thug" can "put it down" in the bedroom. ignoring the fact that not EVERY "thug" can, and not every so-called thug, is really a gangster or "thug". heck, I hear women talking about the "thugs" now talkin about they cant trust whether some are gay or not because they cant "preform" in the bedroom. someone would already know that you cant paint all with one brush, with just a grain of logical thought. although you may not admit like many others, the culture since the early to mid 90's somehow told black women that they need a "ruffneck" in their lives, but this came from a female rapper who by all accounts, doesnt even fuck with men like that. people should just accept that they have been misled by media(books tv radio etc) and keep it moving.

 

[Rick Ronson]

c/s..Whenever a man aims high and looks down on a woman, they run back to the whole "take me as I am" rhetoric...



Soon after, all of her friends and family will start to put the bug in her ear to get rid of him, because all he knows how to do is stuff a hoagie...I think alot of people date to get validation from others instead of pursuing true happiness.


This is from another thread, but it pertains

The whole black woman complaining about not being able to find a man is really old now. I'm a believer in "if you want something bad enough you will get it yourself". In other words, instead of trying to stand around looking cute waiting for the dude to approach her, she needs to swallow her pride and approach him. The difference between women that approach men and women that wait to be approached is, women that approach men usually get what they want, and women that wait for men to approach them usually settle for some shit they didnt want.

it wouldnt work for women...they cant take rejection like that

their whole persona is based on thinking everyone wants them

as soon as they get rejected a few times they'd be broken as shit.

notice how sad and defeated them bitches look after asking if ud like a lap dance and you tell them no thank you.

they ask like 3 niggas...if aint no one checking for them they start that
"oh these broke ass niggas routine" and niggas steadily getting dances
from other bitches.....shit is crazy to see a bitches form of effort and the
reaction to being told no....bitches hate being told no.

 

[electrik_relaxation]

thats your problem right there..you have been led to believe that only a "thug" can "put it down" in the bedroom. ignoring the fact that not EVERY "thug" can, and not every so-called thug, is really a gangster or "thug". heck, I hear women talking about the "thugs" now talkin about they cant trust whether some are gay or not because they cant "preform" in the bedroom. someone would already know that you cant paint all with one brush, with just a grain of logical thought. although you may not admit like many others, the culture since the early to mid 90's somehow told black women that they need a "ruffneck" in their lives, but this came from a female rapper who by all accounts, doesnt even fuck with men like that. people should just accept that they have been misled by media(books tv radio etc) and keep it moving.
Reply With Quote

Nah I don't believe only thugs can put it down, I was just using that as an example hence the quotes. However, in my experience I have yet to find a man who can be both but I am still keeping hope alive. I'm only 21 so I'm not looking for a husband now anyway, a relationship would be nice but i'll take a f--k buddy for the time being. I actually loathe thugs and all men who aim to be thugs, its a complete turn off for me.

But at the end of the day, my mentality is incredibly different from that of the "average" black american woman because even though I have citizenship, I was not raised here. I was raised in a country (japan) where being feminine isn't frowned on, cooking/cleaning/tending to a mans needs isn't considered being subserviant. Instead it is praised and considered an excellent quality.

It's a shame more black women don't realize they can be smart, beautiful, sexy, and cook/clean/etc for their man. The man doesn't view them as being their slave or something, it's just something that a woman should do.

 

[BCAA2009]

it wouldnt work for women...they cant take rejection like that

their whole persona is based on thinking everyone wants them

as soon as they get rejected a few times they'd be broken as shit.

notice how sad and defeated them bitches look after asking if ud like a lap dance and you tell them no thank you.

they ask like 3 niggas...if aint no one checking for them they start that
"oh these broke ass niggas routine" and niggas steadily getting dances
from other bitches.....shit is crazy to see a bitches form of effort and the
reaction to being told no.

there is truth in this.

Another reason is that women are constantly in competition with each other, even if they are close friends. They would NOT be able to handle a man saying , "no, sorry, you aren't my type."

They would go home, saddened and dejected, and think about all the men THEY shitted on that approached them respectfully in the past.

What you just said is the main reason women in this country would hardly EVER approach a man, and many women would never admit to that.

 

[electrik_relaxation]

Obviously, I don't know you so I don't know if this is the case, but most women I know are passive when they see a man they find attractive. You shoulld try going after what you want.

I can agree with that somewhat. I do hesitate to approach a man I find incredibly attractive simply because I'm a bit afraid. I'm gaining more confidence though as I go out more and meet people plus most guys says they like women to approach them because it takes the guess work out of the equation.

 

[Louis Koo]

gisele is that you?

 

[electrik_relaxation]

They exist everywhere online.



Once you log off however, it's like trying to find a tootsie roll in a pile of shit.

We DO exist though, you just have to weed through all the hoodrats and bitter bitches to find us.

 

[BCAA2009]

Nah I don't believe only thugs can put it down, I was just using that as an example hence the quotes. However, in my experience I have yet to find a man who can be both but I am still keeping hope alive. I'm only 21 so I'm not looking for a husband now anyway, a relationship would be nice but i'll take a f--k buddy for the time being. I actually loathe thugs and all men who aim to be thugs, its a complete turn off for me.

But at the end of the day, my mentality is incredibly different from that of the "average" black american woman because even though I have citizenship, I was not raised here. I was raised in a country (japan) where being feminine isn't frowned on, cooking/cleaning/tending to a mans needs isn't considered being subserviant. Instead it is praised and considered an excellent quality.

It's a shame more black women don't realize they can be smart, beautiful, sexy, and cook/clean/etc for their man. The man doesn't view them as being their slave or something, it's just something that a woman should do.

I actually loathe thugs and all men who aim to be thugs,

I feel the same way. Unfortunately, until women start turning away from thugs, they will always be sought out and lusted after.

********************************

It's a shame more black women don't realize they can be smart, beautiful, sexy, and cook/clean/etc for their man. The man doesn't view them as being their slave or something, it's just something that a woman should do.

Interview 10 black women in different places and ask them about cooking and cleaning, you'd be surprised how many lack these simple life skills. It's a major factor why so many shall remain unmarried.

 

[chitownsfinest]

Tell me brotha... I work construction.

I triple what most of these glorified "secretaries with degrees" make.

Lotta money in the dirt... But bitches hate to be dirty...litterally anyways.

*two cents*

I'm white collar, but I feel you, bruh.

Fuck dem bougie hoez. Just keep getting your chedda and quality will find you. True sistas do understand that when it comes down to it, all the matters is the (legal) paycheck you bring home.

-CTF

 

[josteen]

Women like her are becoming more and more scarce. When a man finds a woman like her, he holds on tight and thanks God for sending her to him.

these women are not scarce, this is the wrong idea to have. they are plentiful, however a good number of them make up that number of women who are married to black men...that not one of these women and men like to bring up or talk about. there are many good women out there who no one invited to their programs or are not interviewed for these types of news stories. If i were to believe both what the media and other black people tell me, there are NO black people left who are married to one and other. and before you type angry words back at me, I am not disagreeing with you per se, I just find the idea of thinking these women are "scarce" is no different than women thinking that black men who are responsible is somehow scarce. no different then black men growing up thinking that they wouldn't live past the age of 18, and we see what kind of generation that kind of thinking produced

 

[water]

Nah I don't believe only thugs can put it down, I was just using that as an example hence the quotes. However, in my experience I have yet to find a man who can be both but I am still keeping hope alive. I'm only 21 so I'm not looking for a husband now anyway, a relationship would be nice but i'll take a f--k buddy for the time being. I actually loathe thugs and all men who aim to be thugs, its a complete turn off for me.

But at the end of the day, my mentality is incredibly different from that of the "average" black american woman because even though I have citizenship, I was not raised here. I was raised in a country (japan) where being feminine isn't frowned on, cooking/cleaning/tending to a mans needs isn't considered being subserviant. Instead it is praised and considered an excellent quality.

It's a shame more black women don't realize they can be smart, beautiful, sexy, and cook/clean/etc for their man. The man doesn't view them as being their slave or something, it's just something that a woman should do.

 

[BCAA2009]

We DO exist though, you just have to weed through all the hoodrats and bitter bitches to find us.

You need to tell the single men who are looking for women like you where to find you.


I know of 2 black women who are hardcore gamers and they are both single because

a. the men who are also gamers, won't approach them because of the actions of your "sistas." It's one thing to reject someone, but when you make a scene when doing so.....

The men they DO want to get with just said "fuck it."


b. the ones that DO approach them come with that homo thug "hood" slang and overall fakeness and bitchassery that can be easily detected.

 

[freshnclean]

That hardly ever happens in this day and age. Instead, they will all of a sudden want to be "traditional" and say things like, "the man is supposed to approach the woman.." yadda,yadda, and so forth.

Thats where the double standard kicks in, because they want to have a man's success model, but only when it's convenient to them...I always say, if a woman wants the same standards, then she has to be willing to do the same in exact...I cant remember the last time a broad didnt have a problem changing a flat tire, if they ever did

it wouldnt work for women...they cant take rejection like that

their whole persona is based on thinking everyone wants them

as soon as they get rejected a few times they'd be broken as shit.

notice how sad and defeated them bitches look after asking if ud like a lap dance and you tell them no thank you.

they ask like 3 niggas...if aint no one checking for them they start that
"oh these broke ass niggas routine" and niggas steadily getting dances
from other bitches.....shit is crazy to see a bitches form of effort and the
reaction to being told no....bitches hate being told no.

 

[kenbgco68]

I know there are some sistas with a f'ed up attitude, but that goes for ALL women.

I'm getting sick and tired of brothas tearing down sistas who got it together, saying 'it's their own damn fault' and shit like that, like they're supposed to gleefully suck the dick of every high school dropout who steps to them. And half dem bastards still cheat on them, saying shit like 'dat's what real niggas do.'

We brothas need to step up our game, not ask our sistas to lower theirs. You can't blame them for wanting stimulation of their bodies and their minds. We got too many thugs who don't know how to do either.

However, this phenomenon isn't just for sistas. Here's an article about white women in the same situation:

"Why Do the Smartest Women Have the Toughest Time Dating?"
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-alex-benzer/why-do-the-smartest-women_b_382870.html

 

[BCAA2009]

these women are not scarce, this is the wrong idea to have. they are plentiful, however a good number of them make up that number of women who are married to black men...that not one of these women and men like to bring up or talk about. there are many good women out there who no one invited to their programs or are not interviewed for these types of news stories. If i were to believe both what the media and other black people tell me, there are NO black people left who are married to one and other. and before you type angry words back at me, I am not disagreeing with you per se, I just find the idea of thinking these women are "scarce" is no different than women thinking that black men who are responsible is somehow scarce. no different then black men growing up thinking that they wouldn't live past the age of 18, and we see what kind of generation that kind of thinking produced

these women are not scarce, this is the wrong idea to have. they are plentiful

Where are they? Why aren't they letting themselves be known?

I just find the idea of thinking these women are "scarce" is no different than women thinking that black men who are responsible is somehow scarce.

The women who say that are the ones that spent their younger days fucking and sucking frat boys, aspiring rappers, and "hood niggas", have a stable of bastard kids (if they didn't abort them), and all of a sudden want that "hero" to swoop in and take a huge bite of the shit sandwich she made. Her party is over. She has bills and kids to support. The men she attracted before no longer want her, and the men she now desires (out of necessity) wants nothing to do with her, so to her the pickings are slim.

 

[josteen]

Nah I don't believe only thugs can put it down, I was just using that as an example hence the quotes. However, in my experience I have yet to find a man who can be both but I am still keeping hope alive. I'm only 21 so I'm not looking for a husband now anyway, a relationship would be nice but i'll take a f--k buddy for the time being. I actually loathe thugs and all men who aim to be thugs, its a complete turn off for me.

But at the end of the day, my mentality is incredibly different from that of the "average" black american woman because even though I have citizenship, I was not raised here. I was raised in a country (japan) where being feminine isn't frowned on, cooking/cleaning/tending to a mans needs isn't considered being subserviant. Instead it is praised and considered an excellent quality.

It's a shame more black women don't realize they can be smart, beautiful, sexy, and cook/clean/etc for their man. The man doesn't view them as being their slave or something, it's just something that a woman should do.

wow..I didnt know you were only 21. you have your whole life ahead of you. If I may I would like to give you some advice, keep hold of what you were taught by your family and customs because a woman such as this is what a man really looks for. do not get caught up in the nonsense you see and hear in this country. stick to what your culture has imbued in you, and when the time comes you will be the envy of all the women you know because you did not rely on television, books, and radio to teach you things that a parent or family should have instilled in you when you were a young girl. good luck, and be careful out there

 

[Rick Ronson]

though this shit no longer concerns me i do hope for the best.

i hate to blame the man but damn if he didnt plant all kinda fucked up seeds.

but then niggas are stupid to fall for the devils trickery.

sad sad affair.

im out to go get my speed fix for the night.

im getting bored @ 143mph its like a day in the park on 50 east.

i need more horses.

 

[josteen]

these women are not scarce, this is the wrong idea to have. they are plentiful

Where are they? Why aren't they letting themselves be known?

I just find the idea of thinking these women are "scarce" is no different than women thinking that black men who are responsible is somehow scarce.

The women who say that are the ones that spent their younger days fucking and sucking frat boys, aspiring rappers, and "hood niggas", have a stable of bastard kids (if they didn't abort them), and all of a sudden want that "hero" to swoop in and take a huge bite of the shit sandwich she made. Her party is over. She has bills and kids to support. The men she attracted before no longer want her, and the men she now desires (out of necessity) wants nothing to do with her, so to her the pickings are slim.

what do you mean? are they suppose to appear on a national television show to announce that they are here and always have been? no, they are living their lives and are unaffected by all this nonsense going back and forth, and are either happily married, or are on the road there. all the rest you said, i hear you but I think that moving in different circles and meeting different people can illustrate better the point that I am making. the women I speak of are not scarce, but are too busy living life to appear on he hate me talk shows, or typing on a message board looking for sympathy for choices they made.

 

[BCAA2009]

all the rest you said, i hear you but I think that moving in different circles and meeting different people can illustrate better the point that I am making. the women I speak of are not scarce, but are too busy living life to appear on he hate me talk shows, or typing on a message board looking for sympathy for choices they made.

I'm so sure they are.

 

[kwazdog]

The problem we place too much emphasis on the white mans "education" for non "business" related affairs , domestic relationships and emotional self worth....

:angry



:

 

[water]

The problem we place too much emphasis on the white mans "education" for non "business" related affairs , domestic relationships and emotional self worth....

they don't want to hear that, they value that shit with all of their life.... like if that shit is a measure of moral value

Let me see who would touch your statement

 

[kwazdog]

they don't want to hear that, they value that shit with all of their life.... like if that shit is a measure of moral value

Let me see who would touch your statement

"sigh" I never understood why people bought into education so much when we have little control over the curriculum at large. Even so called conscious blacks that know the whole white jesus thing is a sham turn around and fall for the educational ploy... some of the most brilliant individuals I have met were self taught individuals.. my dumbest ex girlfriends were the types constantly seeking "higher education" (phd's etc) and had skewed morals, low self esteem, negative child like attributes and were relatively inarticulate in a humanistic sense. They praised me for being so compassionate and loving to them, but hated me when I expected unconditional love reciprocated despite my minor quirks (compared to theirs).

If one cant love, and care for another without material incentive, you are the "miserable failure" that you so despise...I mean seriously what are some ppl really living for besides immediate comfort of the ego only to die later like everyone else in this world.

 

[water]

"sigh" I never understood why people bought into education so much when we have little control over the curriculum at large. Even so called conscious blacks that know the whole white jesus thing is a sham turn around and fall for the educational ploy... some of the most brilliant individuals I have met were self taught individuals.. my dumbest ex girlfriends were the types constantly seeking "higher education" (phd's etc) and had skewed morals, low self esteem, negative child like attributes and were relatively inarticulate in a humanistic sense. They praised me for being so compassionate and loving to them, but hated me when I expected unconditional love reciprocated despite my minor quirks (compared to theirs).

If one cant love, and care for another without material incentive, you are the "miserable failure" that you so despise...I mean seriously what are some ppl really living for besides immediate comfort of the ego only to die later like everyone else in this world.

Elements of this culture that we as a people are caught up in.

We have left our own traditional culture, things like extended families and bought into white culture.

The education system programs kids to see white culture as being ideal and being the thing that "makes them more advanced"

No mention of genocide of indigenous peoples, no mention of the greed associated with Columbus' travels, no mention of the deaths inflicted by the "founding fathers".

All this to set and reinforce ideals that the white culture itself does not adhere to.

There is more outrage over Tiger infidelities that Catholic priests pedophilia.

This culture is not geared toward family but toward making each member a consumer as soon as possible.............

 

[electrik_relaxation]

Random. I might be wrong but don't most Southern women know how to cook quite well????

 

[followup]

From one point I can see it may be difficult to get a man with an advanced degree. 71 percent of black grad students are female and that they outnumber black men in the general population 7 to 1

Not sure about your percentages, but you are correct that black women with advanced degrees outnumber black men. We don't outnumber black men by 7 to 1 though... But the degrees have nothing to do with being in a relationship or not. It's other issues which I will not rehash here because nobody really gives a fuck and nobody is going to change

 

[followup]

looks at thread title

knows that could NEVER apply to a black man

steps

well if we believe the stories the men on BGOL tell, then it would arguably apply to a huge chunk of black men looking for black women...

 

[BCAA2009]

Random. I might be wrong but don't most Southern women know how to cook quite well????

Yeah, but they are usually aged 35+.

These females coming up now can't even boil hot dogs right. They are too dependent on fast food, microwave popcorn, and Sunny Delight with a side of flaming hot cheetos.



And it AIN'T the hoodrats.

 

[Five Realms]

Ok but what about attractive AND educated women of color who are in University trying to have a good career, cultured, worldly, not the Church type, work out at least 4 times a week, uninhibited in the bed, has intelligent conversation, likes to play video games, watch anime/cartoons, loves jazz music and indie movies, is slightly artsy without being hipster, aren't crazy or sick in the head, don't want children until marriage, etc, the list goes on. *coughMEcough*

Why can't women like that find a man? Personally, I don't care if a guy has a degree or not because a degree does not define a person. I just don't want a "thug" or "hood" guy. I also don't want a simp or loser either. Of course I dont want to date an asshole or "high risk man" as dumb ass Rihanna says, but it is incredibly hard for me to find a man who is nice, can put it down in the bedroom (like a "thug" lol) and still retains the essence of what it is to be a man without becoming a simp. The type of black men I am interested in are really hard to find or have been snatched up, at least where I live (chicago) and I usually have to resort to dating other races (which isn't a problem of course but i love brothers).

Here's that chicago man you're talkin about!

 

[Mello Mello]

Nah I don't believe only thugs can put it down, I was just using that as an example hence the quotes. However, in my experience I have yet to find a man who can be both but I am still keeping hope alive. I'm only 21 so I'm not looking for a husband now anyway, a relationship would be nice but i'll take a f--k buddy for the time being. I actually loathe thugs and all men who aim to be thugs, its a complete turn off for me.

But at the end of the day, my mentality is incredibly different from that of the "average" black american woman because even though I have citizenship, I was not raised here. I was raised in a country (japan) where being feminine isn't frowned on, cooking/cleaning/tending to a mans needs isn't considered being subserviant. Instead it is praised and considered an excellent quality.

It's a shame more black women don't realize they can be smart, beautiful, sexy, and cook/clean/etc for their man. The man doesn't view them as being their slave or something, it's just something that a woman should do.

Co-sign.

 

[DAYNE]

A married, down to earth, NATURAL black woman, two kids, still is in great shape, supportive of her husband (even before he was POTUS), and is an excellent role model for young black women.


To me, she is 1000x more attractive than most of these photoshopped, weaved down wombturd factories most dudes are willing to cape up for on here.

who said mo couldn't be a role model?

you can't substitute attributes for beauty fam

 

[BCAA2009]

who said mo couldn't be a role model?

you can't substitute attributes for beauty fam

To some that may be true.


But for a woman, especially a black woman in this day and age to be that accomplished, yet humble and supportive, is something I hold in very high regard and that makes her beautiful.