The Nice Nigga Theory

[Naha-Nago]

I'm not trying to be an ASSHOLE today. I'm just giving a dose of tough reality.
I deal with this too much in my personal dating life.

Women are preparing themselves for the wrong thing............

Every woman wants to be a bride, but very few actually desire to be a wife.

Nigga did you eat a bag of coal for dinner?


CAUSE YOU SHITTING OUT NOTHING BUT DIAMONDS PLAYA!


*two cents*

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I'm not trying to be an ASSHOLE today. I'm just giving a dose of tough reality.
I deal with this too much in my personal dating life.

Women are preparing themselves for the wrong thing............

Every woman wants to be a bride, but very few actually desire to be a wife.

So few women want to be wives. So few males around to be proper husbands. It's all pear shaped i believe.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

I understand the nature of this board probably seems like every post or response is some kind of attack. But i thought i was clear. I said your post was a truthful 1. Maybe i wasn't clear enough i guess. I agree with your post. The post i replied too. I was just asking a question sir. No attack. I just wondered if you had given any consideration to why women did the things they did about this topic.

*Waving the PEACE FLAG*

Yo like I said not trying to be an ASSHOLE. just giving my opinion.

I think overall the feminist movement FUCKED OVER alot of women. Especially black women.

All the pro-feminism was really about was a way for WHITE WOMEN to get paid more at their exisiting jobs. Thats it. When they went home they still understood that the MAN was head of the household.

Black women had it a bit tougher. During the civil rights era of feminism. Sisters were also hired into these big corporate jobs before black men. Because of the 2 for 1 minority status that a black female represents. Coupled with the fact that for obvious reasons dealing with a black female is less threatening to the white man......than hiring in a brother that might challenge the white man.

During the same time a disproportiante amount of brothers were sent to fight over in Vietnam. So this shrank the pool for black women at the same time tha they were in college, and just getting started in the workforce. When the brothers that did survive returned. They were either already behind in education, hooked on drugs, shell-shocked, or had a hard time re-entering the workforce as most vietnam vets did at that time. Then fast forward to the 80's and too many brothers got hooked into the drug epidemic. either using or selling.

All the while wideining the professional and education gap between black men and women. So realistically for the sisters that were achieving... they weren't enough quality brothers to go around. The media then exploits this.... the rise of Oprah Winfrey and what she represents. As a coping mechanism sistas start to chant that "I can do it all by myself, don't need no man" mantra. Many sistas start to INTERNALIZE that philosphy and actually start planning their lives -- without the expecation of a meaninful long term relationship. Then this philosophy gets passed down to a younger generation. "Don't depend on no man". .... because deep down these women really don't see a QUALITY HUSBAND as a viable reality.

Consequently if you don't ever think your going to be a REAL WIFE, you don't adequately prepare to become one. >> which leads to terrible mate selection and sista Ill equipped to deal with a decent brother when she meets one.

So sistas between the ages of 18-22 go to college with the mission statement ... that they are there to make a better lives for themselves. `8 -22 year old white women go to college with the expecation that they will get an education and meet their future husband there. Big difference in goals and objectives huh?

So any man that a sistat meets, she can't possibly work to build WITH. Than he minus well UPGRADE her right? I mean that is the only way he is worth your time right? If you thought long term companionship was viable option, you wouldn't be so shortsighted would you???

Here we are today.

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

I'm not trying to be an ASSHOLE today. I'm just giving a dose of tough reality.
I deal with this too much in my personal dating life.

Women are preparing themselves for the wrong thing............

Every woman wants to be a bride, but very few actually desire to be a wife.

uuuuuuh......I was actually agreeing with u jackass

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

A very truthful post. And it's something to see from the males point of view. And it's ...well it's like i said very truthful. My question is, why do you think women at their base get those degrees?[/QUOTE]
Interesting how you didn't choose to comment on the specific points of my post... but want to bait me into a convo about why women choose this.

But I'll take the bait today. I fault no woman for seeking higher education. I am an advocate and supporter of it. I know its a delicate issue for women, and a TOUGH PLIGHT.

But women spend their best MATING years seeking a degree. Then after their prime years are over.........then they try to seek a serious relationship with a man. Women spend those prime years preparing to be head of household, which ironically is what can doom you to ulimately wearing the HEAD OF HOUSEHOLD crown.

At some point you have to choose either FAMILY or CAREER. Too many women think that they can have both.

They do it because of the overwhelming sense that they have to do it. They can't trust males. They have to survive.

I agree with what you said initially. That's the brass tacks of it. I was just wondering if you had given any thought to why women do that. Choose those career paths.

I think women working in the work force is actually a detriment to the black family. But it's so assbackwards now in the world there's no fixing it.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

uuuuuuh......I was actually agreeing with u jackass

Yo,

I knew that you were agreeing with me.

My statement "I'm not trying to be an asshole today" was directed to the women reading my statements. As meaning I know my statments may come off harsh.


We cool.

 

[JofromthaNO]

Yo, I'm 33 live in Atlanta, MBA, professionally employed, no kids, physically fit, Know how to dress..blah blah blah.

Not saying the above to impress you with my stat line. Just mentioning it so that you can understand.... what type of women that I come into contact with.

It's not your pursuit of education in itself that turns men off. Like you said its your lack of time. Because when I meet women and they say that they are in any grad school program........I kinda take a deep breath to myself and think "wow this broad isn't going to have much time for me. If she is really handling her business...then she shouldn't have much time for me."

Because unlike WOMEN... Men (myself included) don't really care about how much postgrad education you have. It's not the primary thing we are looking at. As a man that has his stuff together...the primary trait I'm looking for in a LONG TERM MATE is a woman that I can start a family with. Meaning she can cook, take care of the house, and raise up some babies.

So a post-secondary education---really isn't going to assist with the main ojbective above.

It would be like YOU meeting a man that you were interested in, and he tell you that he is taking classes at night 5 days a week in sewing and interior decorating (gay jokes aside). You would probably be thinking as a woman "Wow this dude is spending a lot of time...time that he won't have for me...to acheive something...that you don't really expect for a man to do in a relationship".

Like I said as a man that has his stuff together, I care first about the woman's ability to TAKE CARE OF A HOUSEHOLD while I'm gone at work. I don't expect my wife to be a stay at home mom forever......... but at least have to be secure in her ability to do such if the situation should command. All the other degrees and stuff is just icing. But too many women are working hard on the icing and forgetting about the cake.

Now Let me edit this response to let you know...how I have seen women in your position make themselves attractive for a man.
1) Workout and be physically Active.
2) Be presentable every time you step out (conservative but sexy) We men are visual creatures so if we see you out...and you aren't "put together" than oh well....lol. I know as a woman its takes time and money. But it is. what it is.
3) Be amongst the quietest chicks in the room.(trust me)
4) Smile and be inviting
5) When you meet a guy that you are "initially" attracted too, let him know that you EMBRACE feminine traits and responsibilities. You don't understand how far this can get you with a decent man. I remember a cute chick (with no kids) that I was interested in. During convo she told me how she had taken her young nieces and nephews for the weekend...and listed all the cool activities that she did with them. I almost fainted...because I was thinking wow this broad values family......and obviously knows what to do with children...if when the time comes.
6) You have to verbally let the man know that regardless of your education or job title... you would value and prioritize being a wife and mother 1st. ie. Michelle Obama.

Too many women try to impress me with stuff I could give a fuck about from a woman. As a man I don't care that you have an MBA. I don't care that you drive a BMW, I don't care thats a Prada Bag, I don't care those are Jimmy Choo's. I don't care that you got the latest and greates sew in weave. A FUCK IS TRULY NOT GIVEN. But this is are the things that these women focus on to impress us men with........and think these are the things that ELEVATE them from another woman in our eyes. *shaking head* Because these women are looking at what the traits THEY DESIRE FROM A MAN.............and assume that we are looking for the same things in return. Which is the ultimate fallacy.

Some women realize it too late. Don't be one of them. If you follow my advice many of your current peers of women will HATE ON YOU...and try to discourage you. Saying bullshit like "You ain't going to school to be no housewife" "Why you cooking for that nigga for? You work too don't you" "Girl if you have a MASTERS DEGREE, why would you mess with a nigga unless he has at least a MASTERS or better"

My bad for just getting back into this thread at this time...work was a killer today

My reason for getting back into school isn't a choice, as much as it was a choice made for me by my employer They basically said, to keep THIS job, this is what you have to do...

Not to say that pursuing further education may not have been a goal somewhere down the line, but, again, it wasn't one of my goals for the near future.

I truly never had any qualms about dating a man whose education level is below mine, because I know these degrees don't mean shit outside of my job. I look past that, and wonder about what kind of father - and husband - he would be. I look at things like how he treats his mom, how he values his family. I expect that a man should do the same for me.

I am definitely working on the physical attributes, as stated before, and making sure I present myself as a lady, because that's what I feel I am. I don't have a problem playing my role and "staying in my lane," because I don't want to be some independent woman who doesn't get to ever share herself with someone. BUT, I also enjoy what my degrees and my freedom as a single woman allows me - time and money to travel, buy what I want, AND take care of a home. I appreciate your honesty and bluntness, though. Other posters have said it, but I most definitely feel where you are coming from. I just feel vexed because of the "situation" I am in. Shit, I know plenty of women holding down great jobs who can't hold down a good man. I just don't want that to be me, real talk

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

*Waving the PEACE FLAG*

Yo like I said not trying to be an ASSHOLE. just giving my opinion.

I think overall the feminist movement FUCKED OVER alot of women. Especially black women.

All the pro-feminism was really about was a way for WHITE WOMEN to get paid more at their exisiting jobs. Thats it. When they went home they still understood that the MAN was head of the household.

Black women had it a bit tougher. During the civil rights era of feminism. Sisters were also hired into these big corporate jobs before black men. Because of the 2 for 1 minority status that a black female represents. Coupled with the fact that for obvious reasons dealing with a black female is less threatening to the white man......than hiring in a brother that might challenge the white man.

During the same time a disproportiante amount of brothers were sent to fight over in Vietnam. So this shrank the pool for black women at the same time tha they were in college, and just getting started in the workforce. When the brothers that did survive returned. They were either already behind in education, hooked on drugs, shell-shocked, or had a hard time re-entering the workforce as most vietnam vets did at that time. Then fast forward to the 80's and too many brothers got hooked into the drug epidemic. either using or selling.

All the while wideining the professional and education gap between black men and women. So realistically for the sisters that were achieving... they weren't enough quality brothers to go around. The media then exploits this.... the rise of Oprah Winfrey and what she represents. As a coping mechanism sistas start to chant that "I can do it all by myself, don't need no man" mantra. Many sistas start to INTERNALIZE that philosphy and actually start planning their lives -- without the expecation of a meaninful long term relationship. Then this philosophy gets passed down to a younger generation. "Don't depend on no man". .... because deep down these women really don't see a QUALITY HUSBAND as a viable reality.

Consequently if you don't ever think your going to be a REAL WIFE, you don't adequately prepare to become one. >> which leads to terrible mate selection and sista Ill equipped to deal with a decent brother when she meets one.

So sistas between the ages of 18-22 go to college with the mission statement ... that they are there to make a better lives for themselves. `8 -22 year old white women go to college with the expecation that they will get an education and meet their future husband there. Big difference in goals and objectives huh?

So any man that a sistat meets, she can't possibly work to build WITH. Than he minus well UPGRADE her right? I mean that is the only way he is worth your time right? If you thought long term companionship was viable option, you wouldn't be so shortsighted would you???

Here we are today.

I do not disagree with this.

 

[JofromthaNO]

I do not disagree with this.

So, Legacy, you think there is a problem with women being in the workforce? Do you think it separates women too much from finding "nice/good guys?"

 

[Louis Koo]

Every woman wants to be a bride, but very few actually desire to be a wife.

reminds me of....

“Everybody wants to be a bodybuilder but don’t nobody wanna lift no heavy ass weights.” Ronnie Coleman

 

[Louis Koo]

So now cats gotta be amusement parks in order to get a woman.....

Nah son here is the real fact......Women don t know wtf is real and what is sizzle and no substance.....

What s real in life is boring to today s woman....problem....

What s real is family the wife 2 kids 2 cars and a mortgage.....that s real.....

The bullshit is is calling that realness.....boring....life aint adventure and excitement...life is not an episode of the fall guy....

He is talking about "self expansion." Everyone wants a partner who can broaden their horizons
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/01/02/weekinreview/02parkerpope.html?_r=2&src=me&ref=homepage

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

So, Legacy, you think there is a problem with women being in the workforce? Do you think it separates women too much from finding "nice/good guys?"

Since chattel slavery overtook us we've been in a state of imbalance. Women, black women are not supposed to be the way we are. It's unnatural. Black men aren't supposed to be the way they are. All of us are thrown out of balance. We've got males who want to be leaders who have no idea what it means to lead. To be MEN, and we've got females who don't even know what a MAN looks like so they have no idea what to choose properly. It's been a slow destructive process these last 500 years.

Women aren't supposed to be working in this work force. We're supposed to be able to trust our mates and care for our homes. Raise our families. But our mates are not fit to lead us. MOSTLY due to institutionalized racism designed to neuter our male populace. How they think, how they are it's warped. From the beginning to the end. It's a state of despair is how i see it. Instincts and natural feelings are subverted and diluted.

I cry for ya'll Because i don't really see any way to fix it.

 

[biggboye5000]

Every woman wants to be a bride, but very few actually desire to be a wife.

Boy u droppin bombs with this right here!

 

[Rick Ronson]

Nigga im scared of these bitches and you should be also.


They are given the power to take your black ass doooooooown!!

Bitches get the niggas who have managed to stay out of jail....in jail.

 

[Acur]

Nigga im scared of these bitches and you should be also.


They are given the power to take your black ass doooooooown!!

Bitches get the niggas who have managed to stay out of jail....in jail.

If You didn't deal with bitches or niggas like yourself you might not have these problems.

 

[Bigskinn2]

I do not disagree with this.

Wow!!!!!!.....The "TRUTH" hurts........sista he gave u the "playbook", don't be like Michael Vick when he was with the Atlanta Falcons ( all else fail.. RUN, NIGGA, RUN)..You have to stay in pocket, take a couple of hits, but dear GOD, learn how to read the "defense"...Listening to u, i can hear that u honestly want to know/learn, but best believe your "RAW" talent will only get u so far!!
U know the niggas dropping "jewels" in this thread??...the nigga wit the headset on ( thats the HEAD coach", other catz are offense and defensive coordinators ( in other words..."WE KNOW WHAT THE FUK WE TALKN BOUT"
Now "LISTEN" to us, get yo azz in da game and score a touchdown
Cause that shit u been doing all yo adult life in relationships aint been working, old ass rookie, he trying to honestly SCHOOL U!!!...Dont end up like a lot of sistas in Atlanta, degreed up, 401k sitting on swole, fat crib/job, giving ALL their money to church, and fuckin a shady nigga like me...what church u go to?

 

[Bigskinn2]

bump

 

[tuckdog]

this thread has so many jewles in it... i love this thread.. y does it not have 5 stars?? blasphemy thanx for starting this topic fam... i appreciate the jewelz......... high 5.. YACE

Appreciate it fam. The stars dont mean anything, i'm just glad it worked out like I hoped it would.

 

[True Real Info]

the fundamental problem with this is that we, as men, are taught at a young age by society (which our parents cannot always protect us from) to change ourselves to accomodate women...even though our value peaks in our early to mid 30s (And in many cases keeps rising) while their value peaks b/n 20-25...

 

[Acur]

the fundamental problem with this is that we, as men, are taught at a young age by society (which our parents cannot always protect us from) to change ourselves to accomodate women...even though our value peaks in our early to mid 30s (And in many cases keeps rising) while their value peaks b/n 20-25...

yup

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Wow!!!!!!.....The "TRUTH" hurts........sista he gave u the "playbook", don't be like Michael Vick when he was with the Atlanta Falcons ( all else fail.. RUN, NIGGA, RUN)..You have to stay in pocket, take a couple of hits, but dear GOD, learn how to read the "defense"...Listening to u, i can hear that u honestly want to know/learn, but best believe your "RAW" talent will only get u so far!!
U know the niggas dropping "jewels" in this thread??...the nigga wit the headset on ( thats the HEAD coach", other catz are offense and defensive coordinators ( in other words..."WE KNOW WHAT THE FUK WE TALKN BOUT"
Now "LISTEN" to us, get yo azz in da game and score a touchdown
Cause that shit u been doing all yo adult life in relationships aint been working, old ass rookie, he trying to honestly SCHOOL U!!!...Dont end up like a lot of sistas in Atlanta, degreed up, 401k sitting on swole, fat crib/job, giving ALL their money to church, and fuckin a shady nigga like me...what church u go to?

None of this applies to me. None of what he said. It applies to my sistren. A great many of them unfortunately. What he originally stated were things i've said to many women over the years. But deaf ears and so on and so forth. You can't reverse 25+ years plus of programming.

Unfortunately.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

the fundamental problem with this is that we, as men, are taught at a young age by society (which our parents cannot always protect us from) to change ourselves to accomodate women...even though our value peaks in our early to mid 30s (And in many cases keeps rising) while their value peaks b/n 20-25...

That's not THE fundamental problem. It's 1 of them and not even the biggest 1. The fundamental problem is the system of racism we're born into. One in which we're not trained to maneuver.

The soil in which we GROW is contaminated. The SOIL ITSELF!

 

[True Real Info]

That's not THE fundamental problem. It's 1 of them and not even the biggest 1. The fundamental problem is the system of racism we're born into. One in which we're not trained to maneuver.

The soil in which we GROW is contaminated. The SOIL ITSELF!

we already know that, but talking about how things are fucked up and how we are born into it will not change the system overnight, its an uphill battle. THe most simple and doable thing is for each individual to take stock of their internal shit and make the necessary changes...white folks aint gonna fix shit anytime sooner or later...

 

[BrownTurd]

When it comes to relationships and dating women live in a state of denial along with a world that does not exist. From the time women are little kids they have been told they are "Special". Some keep this fantasy well into adult hood. These women keep this fairytale fantasy about what a "real man" should be. For men this is the equivalent of Ms. January. Unlike women, men quickly grow out of that fairytale. Ms January is nice but we know as men that she is not real.

Real men don't lie but Thugs and ballers do. Now you have an adult woman who has held onto this fantasy of what a "real man" should be well into her adult life. In her head she has went over all the things he will say to her along with all the things he will do to make her "special"(Sweep her off her feet). The thugs and ballers who are prone to lie tell women exactly what they want to hear (Her Fantasy). While the honest hard working brotha who is grounded in reality gets pushed to the side because to her he is killing her chances of meeting that special guy (Mr. July)

"My man is going to be strong and aggressive that people fear and respect but also sensitive and compassionate. He will have a bad side(street thug) but preach on Sunday's. Even though he is a attention whore and all the women will desire to be with him... he will only come home to me and ignore those women because they are not "special" like me. He will have a 10 inch dick and can have sex for 10 hours straight none stop"

Some women truly believe that the man I described exist. The hard working honest brotha seems lame because he keeps his circle of friends small and instead of watching BET (106 & Park) he has the channel on CNN money. The real man also does not sit there and tell her how pretty she is and "special" she is 24 hours a day(game). A real man does not tell her all those things because he loves her for who she truly is...and that is a human being who has flaws. But in her world she don't have flaws because after all "She Is Special"

 

[Louis Koo]

quoted from somewhere else

Advice on “Game” can fall into two broad categories.

Tricks and The Real Deal.

Tricks is what can work in the short term to put up the illusion of value , status and attraction with a woman , but without a solid base of The Real Deal is doomed to fail due to the sheer effort required for a man to put up that front to a woman.

Tricks are things like Peacocking, using canned material etc … anyway you get the picture.

On the other hand …

The Real Deal is:-

a) where a man IS higher value and this value is not monodimensional , say based on his looks or his monerary value alone.

and

b) where a man also has more options than the women he is gaming and fucking and is able to walk away and find something better should be feel the need … and in having more options , not be afraid to do so.

and

c) where a man has multiple Alpha qualities.

and

d) where a man is smart enough and wise enough to make the right choices so that relationships with women fall in his favour and he is able to deal effectively with the game playing that women engage in and knows which women to avoid and which women are of value and worth the time, effort and energy to engage with and are beyond merely emptying his balls into.

 

[Naha-Nago]

quoted from somewhere else

Advice on “Game” can fall into two broad categories.

Tricks and The Real Deal.

Tricks is what can work in the short term to put up the illusion of value , status and attraction with a woman , but without a solid base of The Real Deal is doomed to fail due to the sheer effort required for a man to put up that front to a woman.

Tricks are things like Peacocking, using canned material etc … anyway you get the picture.

On the other hand …

The Real Deal is:-

a) where a man IS higher value and this value is not monodimensional , say based on his looks or his monerary value alone.

and

b) where a man also has more options than the women he is gaming and fucking and is able to walk away and find something better should be feel the need … and in having more options , not be afraid to do so.

and

c) where a man has multiple Alpha qualities.

and

d) where a man is smart enough and wise enough to make the right choices so that relationships with women fall in his favour and he is able to deal effectively with the game playing that women engage in and knows which women to avoid and which women are of value and worth the time, effort and energy to engage with and are beyond merely emptying his balls into.

*two cents*

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

we already know that, but talking about how things are fucked up and how we are born into it will not change the system overnight, its an uphill battle. THe most simple and doable thing is for each individual to take stock of their internal shit and make the necessary changes...white folks aint gonna fix shit anytime sooner or later...

But from the start it's wrong. Black men are put into positions where they are supposed to do something they feel naturally they're supposed to do. But cannot. What's to change there? You're born powerless. And women want you to protect and be their guides. But you can't be. The system itself works against you to do so.

So there's the problem. From the start. There's no changing that. everything is corrupted from that point on.

 

[teiaperigosa]

I never saw this 'theory' in effect. I'm still young (26), but have gotten plenty attention and play from women since before I was getting the pumpum...

being a gentleman is not mutually exclusive with being assertive and not being taken advantage of...I do both...that is, play nice...but do not hesitate to make clear that I'm not the fuking one and I won't hesitate to revert to the asshole side if necessary...

women are just human beings. if you allow someone to take advantage of you, especially if they are in need...they will. so, be nice, but don't get shit twisted.

my motto in high school was DO NOT SWEAT....I prided myself in never stressing a chick. In fact, I didn't holler at chicks at all...they hollered at me. I had to begin learning how to holler as I got older, because among grown folk, it's kinda necessary to play the man's role, but...

women learn to get what they can get away with early on(just like us, a plant, my dog, or a flood)...where the flow will allow, they will rush in...people are/can be grimey and women are half of them...

don't get flooded

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

^ ^ ^

 

[BrownTurd]

Alot of good responses

 

[KLEPTO]

 

[DiamondDeuce]

But from the start it's wrong. Black men are put into positions where they are supposed to do something they feel naturally they're supposed to do. But cannot. What's to change there? You're born powerless. And women want you to protect and be their guides. But you can't be. The system itself works against you to do so.

So there's the problem. From the start. There's no changing that. everything is corrupted from that point on.

I disagree wholeheartedly.

I am a black man. I am man. Meaning I am responsible for my actions...I don't bring up what happened 400 years ago and make that relevant to my present circumstances.

I'm not ignoring what happened. I'm just moving forward.

The best thing that you can do is break the cycle of ignorance in your own situation. Take the playbook I gave you a few posts back in this thread. Apply it to your dating life. Then land the right man, raise up some babies........and break the cycle.

The power ACTUALLY is in your own hands. Because you have the knowledge.

 

[freshnclean]

So, Legacy, you think there is a problem with women being in the workforce? Do you think it separates women too much from finding "nice/good guys?"

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

WOW

 

[Stick2dascript]

It creates a bigger gap between men and women of color, the women don't realize they're being used to further separate the race. Blacks are so focused on success, they're not focused on marriage. This reason along with individualism of today is the main reason marriage rates across the board have and will continue to fall.

IMO the best time to catch a women is when she's young, her getting dicked down by lets say 10 men is much better than her wanting a man to take her on a trip to x__________ because her friend had her man take her last month.

If you catch her at 30+ you're either a fool for putting up with her crap, have endless funds or just a fool she settled for cuz she's scared to be alone at 40.