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The Nice Nigga Theory

tuckdog said:
Can't speak for anyone else in this thread but my experiences that I spoke of come from my childhood in the neighborhood I grew up in. If you wasn't a drug dealer/thug in downtown Newport News,VA in the late 80's early 90's the bad chicks weren't checking for you. Had nothing to do with conversation. I didn't grow up in the suburbs.
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Thats how it is in most small towns
 
(0_0)..l.. finger said:
I understand what you're saying and agree somewhat, but my questions still wasn't answer. How did this way of thinking start and how can we as men stop it from repeating in a cycle? Because if you don't have any solutions, doesn't that makes you a complainer?
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Now remember that the following are all generalizations.

In the black community relationships are much worse off than other ethnic groups but we are not by ourselves. We may be in worse shape than other communities but we are not exclusive. Divorce rates are high in most cultures worldwide.

Those crazy "Girl Gone Wild" college white chicks are no better than the black women who swoon over these thug types. The difference is that statistically the white chicks won't become baby mommas with 3 different dads. The 'Jerry Springer trailer trash meth head' white girls may go that route but not your average white girls.

Most of those white girls will eventually get wifed up. It might be a bad boy or maybe a 'nice guy' reformed bad boy or whatever. Statistically most black chicks in their 30's and beyond will probably not get wifed up at all. Now why is that?

Historically before the 60's sexual revolution, the war on poverty and the civil rights era most black women would marry and raise a two parent family. But in the baby momma era since the 70's the black family has been in a free fall decline. Where are all of the real black men to wife up these black women by the time they come to their senses and mature like their white counterparts? Are they gay or in jail? (Those aren't the real black men.)

That is where the problem lies and how the cycle continues and perpetuates itself. The bad boy attraction for females is primal, worldwide across cultures and is ancient. This aint new. The alpha male has always had his choice of dime females. But in the black community it became skewed and created a vacuum for these chicks running behind thugs and chasing no good negroes for years before realizing that that model doesn't last long and doesn't work. It lacks real substance and the black family just continues to suffer.

But don't just sit up and complain about it. It aint about thugs and nice guys. The solution is to man up. Just plain man up. The survival or rather thriving of the black family will never happen without black male leadership. Period. You can't do that by thuggin or by simpin.
 
This comes off as a bit whiney to me. I'm kind of off put by the whole whiney guy thing. "Ohhh boo hoo i was a nice guy, i did this and that and i liked women, and i respected them...." Waaaah. That's how it comes across to me.

My question is this...."Why not be balanced?" No women don't want a thug. But then they don't want a push over either.

Most guys will say, don't mistake my blah for blah. Kindness i think they usually say. But it's that same idea of what you call kindness that to many females is a weakness.

If you're old enough, why should you care? If you're in your mid 30's you shouldn't be concerned about being a nice guy or whatever. You should be you, and you should know an realize a WOMAN worth something,...not a GIRL...Not just a FEMALE...But a WOMAN worth something is going to make herself presentable to you. In order for you to be with.

If you are then you should be. Alot of guys on BGOL seem to me like hurt puppies. Scarred by their mothers and lashing out at every other female that comes along into their lives.

I still say people should stay in their lanes. For the most part. You'll never be happy without those fundamental things to ground you. And you'll never get that way if you don't find something like yourself.
 
lets not front here, "nice guys" who act that way just to get some pussy are creepy as shit, some chicks choose the "bad boy" b/c they know up front what they are about to get into....its all relative, the only thing we can change is us men on our terms and let the ladies think what they will
 
biggboye5000 said:
Now remember that the following are all generalizations.

In the black community relationships are much worse off than other ethnic groups but we are not by ourselves. We may be in worse shape than other communities but we are not exclusive. Divorce rates are high in most cultures worldwide.

Those crazy "Girl Gone Wild" college white chicks are no better than the black women who swoon over these thug types. The difference is that statistically the white chicks won't become baby mommas with 3 different dads. The 'Jerry Springer trailer trash meth head' white girls may go that route but not your average white girls.

Most of those white girls will eventually get wifed up. It might be a bad boy or maybe a 'nice guy' reformed bad boy or whatever. Statistically most black chicks in their 30's and beyond will probably not get wifed up at all. Now why is that?

Historically before the 60's sexual revolution, the war on poverty and the civil rights era most black women would marry and raise a two parent family. But in the baby momma era since the 70's the black family has been in a free fall decline. Where are all of the real black men to wife up these black women by the time they come to their senses and mature like their white counterparts? Are they gay or in jail? (Those aren't the real black men.)

That is where the problem lies and how the cycle continues and perpetuates itself. The bad boy attraction for females is primal, worldwide across cultures and is ancient. This aint new. The alpha male has always had his choice of dime females. But in the black community it became skewed and created a vacuum for these chicks running behind thugs and chasing no good negroes for years before realizing that that model doesn't last long and doesn't work. It lacks real substance and the black family just continues to suffer.

But don't just sit up and complain about it. It aint about thugs and nice guys. The solution is to man up. Just plain man up. The survival or rather thriving of the black family will never happen without black male leadership. Period. You can't do that by thuggin or by simpin.
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Is there anything to even save anymore?
 
info said:
no colin


The solution with respect to how we as men think, we simply need to take stock of where we have been, where we want to go,etc,etc. Re study all of our cherished beliefs about the world (and ourselves) and get rid of shit that does not apply. We can make our contribution to stopping it by taking care of our own children (if we have any) and offering contrary perspectives to the bullshit that we see out here whenever we get the opportunity.

We can stop trying to identify with both the "good guy" and the "bad boy" template b/c at the end of the day those are ideas (no matter how true or false) espoused by others, and what type of man lives his life or judges his overall worth based solely on what others think? Not a dude I would tell my female fam to fuck with....we also know that not all "upstanding" dudes are cool and not all dudes on the street are trashy people...these women say one thing and do another, so alot aint a reliable source for information,those who are see the sun setting early and get in where they fit in.....that is,make themselves into a woman a man they want would like as a wife...

You already know we cant overtly change the women, they have made it a point to basically ignore us and what we think while assuming they have all the answers with respect to relationships, while going in circles getting the same results. Its all hubris and narcissism, on both sides.

The problem is not that these women choose "thugs", but that they complain about the consequences when they coochie dries up or gets as wide as a whales mouth and they want a husband but dont want to be a wife...

Its real simple,we need to stop looking for all encompassing "solutions" to the bullshit out here(ie waiting on a liberator) and "be a solution" based on our own strengths,weaknesses and ideas. That takes personal accountability,reflection,etc.

To me this aint about what the women like or say they like, but rather recovering, on an individual basis, our sense of self that is obviously lacking and it shows when we have to question our worth if some woman does not vibe with us...

the rejection reveals that...

shit many women have their own agenda so rejection is a blessing...a man can be "too nice" for one girl from a middle class background and "just right" for another chick from any and every other background, makes no difference...

the only constant is us men...the downfall of alot of "player types" and "nice guys" is how they judge their value based on how much sex they get....clever women know how to flip these niggas for profit...Ive seen it too many times...either extreme is a wrong template to follow b/c it is limiting,hence all the "woe is me" shit niggas be on or the bravado "Im the man" shit other niggas be on..
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:yes:c/s 100 ..That's all I wanted to hear, but I also believe if women and men both knew where this behavior started started from, this cycle wouldn't continue...I'll add more when I get home from work....:cool:
 
biggboye5000 said:
Those crazy "Girl Gone Wild" college white chicks are no better than the black women who swoon over these thug types. The difference is that statistically the white chicks won't become baby mommas with 3 different dads. The 'Jerry Springer trailer trash meth head' white girls may go that route but not your average white girls.

Most of those white girls will eventually get wifed up. It might be a bad boy or maybe a 'nice guy' reformed bad boy or whatever. Statistically most black chicks in their late 20's-30's and beyond will probably not get wifed up at all. Now why is that?
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The difference between black girls and white girls when they go thru their "Girls gone wild" phase is, white women dont get pregnant, black women usually do. As a result, its harder for her to find a mate when she hits the late 20's-30's, which is usually the same time when the white women just gets married and starts planning their children. Oral sex plays a big factor in this as well. If more black women were as likely to give oral sex like their white counterparts, the pregnancy numbers will drop tremendously, and they will attract more men.

info said:
lets not front here, "nice guys" who act that way just to get some pussy are creepy as shit, some chicks choose the "bad boy" b/c they know up front what they are about to get into....its all relative, the only thing we can change is us men on our terms and let the ladies think what they will
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True, I can't respect someone who doesnt reveal their true intentions initially. Alot of cats hide behind the "I wanna marry you" bullshit when they just wanna fuck. What I learned is, if you keep it real with a woman, she will not turn away if she is feeling you. Even if a woman says she wants a relationship, if you dont want one, just be honest about it, and she will not reject you if she is into you. On top of that, now you gave her a challenge, and women love challenges....
 
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Chiyo said:
Is there anything to even save anymore?
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Right now the thug whose done a few jail bids or the 35 yr old single baby momma both grew up in that same single parent household with no real men around. This has gone on for 2 or 3 generations or more.

Somebody has to stand up and stop that cycle and say enough is enough. If not it will just keep repeating itself from generation to generation. Will it happen on a national and cultural scale like some type of movement in the black community? Who knows.

Whether it does or does not spread out like that each man has to decide for himself if he will keep repeating the cycle or not in his own life and in his own circle of influence. Man up not thug up, simp up or trick up.
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
If you're old enough, why should you care? If you're in your mid 30's you shouldn't be concerned about being a nice guy or whatever. You should be you, and you should know an realize a WOMAN worth something,...not a GIRL...Not just a FEMALE...But a WOMAN worth something is going to make herself presentable to you.

:yes::yes:
She speaks truf.
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Self hate is a big reason ppl go for mates that treat them like shit.

Niceness does get abused, so it's something that should be reserved for someone who earns it.

I personally don't believe in the myth of a nice guy...constantly wondering either of two things 1. whats really behind the bullshit or 2. they are too innocent, haven't lived enough to have that crusty outer edge that life unfortunately makes everyone, male or female, develop.

kinda wondering about the "nice" vs. "real" of someone i've been building with recently. Keep requesting for him open up and show me all sides... Its a shame my exposure has been so shitty that I just cant "buy" a nice guy persona...
 
CPT Callamity said:
Legacy_Infinity said:
If you're old enough, why should you care? If you're in your mid 30's you shouldn't be concerned about being a nice guy or whatever. You should be you, and you should know an realize a WOMAN worth something,...not a GIRL...Not just a FEMALE...But a WOMAN worth something is going to make herself presentable to you.

:yes::yes:
She speaks truf.
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co-sign. Once you are in your 30's, all that BS about molding yourself for females approval is dead.
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Legacy_Infinity said:
I still say people should stay in their lanes. For the most part. You'll never be happy without those fundamental things to ground you. And you'll never get that way if you don't find something like yourself.
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truth but it all honesty part of the problem is that as boys, most of us are raised to be nice to females. not "real", but "nice". the dissonance between what we've been raised to believe and what we experience makes some into heartless players, and some into "whining nice guys". but everything else was on point.
 
Lyricallye said:
kinda wondering about the "nice" vs. "real" of someone i've been building with recently. Keep requesting for him open up and show me all sides... Its a shame my exposure has been so shitty that I just cant "buy" a nice guy persona...
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Nice try but he aint dumb. He wont resign himself to "opening up" and lose you over some petty bullshit you won't get over. Some folks will bring up an ugly past over and over, until that other simply calls off the relationship and splits.
 
Count23 said:
truth but it all honesty part of the problem is that as boys, most of us are raised to be nice to females. not "real", but "nice". the dissonance between what we've been raised to believe and what we experience makes some into heartless players, and some into "whining nice guys". but everything else was on point.
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My sons are taught to treat people accordingly as they present themselves. Nice has nothing to do with it really. Simple thing for my oldest boy who's 13, "if she'snot nice to you then don't deal with her. Be respectful as she's a human being, but there's no cause or law that states you have 'nice' to her just because she's a female."

Fortunately my sons are raised in a family of very respectful lady like females. And they know what to expect and how to respond to females who behave otherwise. You reward good behavior and disavow the bad.
 
Flawless said:
HarlemPerv said:
well if you are in your 30's and still not getting any pussy obviously what you been doing for the past 20 years aint working
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if your primary objective as a man, is to get pussy...then you're right...

but is being a man more than chasing pussy? is that it? spend too much time chasing pussy, to me seems like paying more attention to a nice looking tree, than the fucked up forest it's in
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Legacy_Infinity said:
My sons are taught to treat people accordingly as they present themselves. Nice has nothing to do with it really. Simple thing for my oldest boy who's 13, "if she'snot nice to you then don't deal with her. Be respectful as she's a human being, but there's no cause or law that states you have 'nice' to her just because she's a female."

Fortunately my sons are raised in a family of very respectful lady like females. And they know what to expect and how to respond to females who behave otherwise. You reward good behavior and disavow the bad.
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that's how it should be ideally, but i was just telling you that for the most part that its not. whether through subtle or overt means, from a young age, boys are drilled to treat every female they come across the way that they treat would treat their mother/sister/aunt, etc by default. the problem is only compounded further as they get older when they reach puberty if their parents don't even talk to them about sex and the complications of sexual based relationships.
 
count23 said:
that's how it should be ideally, but i was just telling you that for the most part that its not. Whether through subtle or overt means, from a young age, boys are drilled to treat every female they come across the way that they treat would treat their mother/sister/aunt, etc by default. The problem is only compounded further as they get older when they reach puberty if their parents don't even talk to them about sex and the complications of sexual based relationships.
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you aint lyin on that last part. My pops didnt talk to me about that shit and i feel that it effected me alot in my relationships and attitude with and toward women
 
oolong tea said:
Nice try but he aint dumb. He wont resign himself to "opening up" and lose you over some petty bullshit you won't get over. Some folks will bring up an ugly past over and over, until that other simply calls off the relationship and splits.
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I'm openminded...
i'd rather know some real shit than keep on thinking he's potentially a psychopath.

in the interest of full disclosure, I looked him up on the state case search when we first met and found out he was married before (no big, so was I). But i've asked twice if he's been married...lies.

lies for no reason = psychopath
 
Lyricallye said:
I'm openminded...
i'd rather know some real shit than keep on thinking he's potentially a psychopath.

in the interest of full disclosure, I looked him up on the state case search when we first met and found out he was married before (no big, so was I). But i've asked twice if he's been married...lies.

lies for no reason = psychopath
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Your issue is way beyond nice vs thug. This is part of the problem with any relationship that you want to grow. This is about trust. It is all a chance and a gamble. The deeper we go in the more vulnerable we become.

Beyond sex the dating or "courting" process is about getting to know the real person. When women or men for that matter have been hurt or deceived (or rejected when they were trying to be so nice) in the past their defenses go up and it is hard for them to trust again.

So yeah the nice guy/thug stuff is part of the initial attraction process. As far as I'm concerned if a guy is secure and comfortable with himself and his sexuality there is no need for lying about wives or any other fake pretending just to bag some booty or to keep a relationship.

If the chick is still down then she is down. If she bounces then she bounces. No need to simp or chase behiind the chick just stand on your own two.
 
"Nice Guy" is usually a guy thats been made to feel ashamed of his sexuality and desires as a man, usually by his mother.
This causes you to be too tentative when dealing with women and not escalating things physically fast enough.

Women want to be fucked. All of them. They want physically and sexually expressive men who will take the lead in this area.
The "Nice Guy" takes a woman out, and may not even touch her the entire time and if he does, does so in a half-assed manner.

He just loiters around a chick hoping that one day she will just unzip his pants unprompted and put his dick in her mouth.
Shit doesn't work like that.
So she moves on to the thuglette, and then "Nice Guy" gets mad.
When it was YOU who didn't want to do shit.
Mr. Nice Guy, overcome your social conditioning.
Re-claim your manhood.
 
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danieldrew3 said:
"Nice Guy" is usually a guy thats been made to feel ashamed of his sexuality and desires as a man, usually by his mother.
This causes you to be too tentative when dealing with women and not escalating things physically fast enough.

Women want to be fucked. All of them. They want physically and sexually expressive men who will take the lead in this area.
The "Nice Guy" takes a woman out, and may not even touch her the entire time and if he does, does so in a half-assed manner.

He just loiters around a chick hoping that one day she will just unzip his pants unprompted and put his dick in her mouth.
Shit doesn't work like that.
So she moves on to the thuglette, and then "Nice Guy" gets mad.
When it was YOU who didn't want to do shit.
Mr. Nice Guy, overcome your social conditioning.
Re-claim your manhood.
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Good Shit!!
 
:lol:
danieldrew3 said:
"Nice Guy" is usually a guy thats been made to feel ashamed of his sexuality and desires as a man, usually by his mother.
This causes you to be too tentative when dealing with women and not escalating things physically fast enough.

Women want to be fucked. All of them. They want physically and sexually expressive men who will take the lead in this area.
The "Nice Guy" takes a woman out, and may not even touch her the entire time and if he does, does so in a half-assed manner.

He just loiters around a chick hoping that one day she will just unzip his pants unprompted and put his dick in her mouth.
Shit doesn't work like that.
So she moves on to the thuglette, and then "Nice Guy" gets mad.
When it was YOU who didn't want to do shit.
Mr. Nice Guy, overcome your social conditioning.
Re-claim your manhood.
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:lol:
 
danieldrew3 said:
"Nice Guy" is usually a guy thats been made to feel ashamed of his sexuality and desires as a man, usually by his mother.
This causes you to be too tentative when dealing with women and not escalating things physically fast enough.
Women want to be fucked. All of them. They want physically and sexually expressive men who will take the lead in this area.
The "Nice Guy" takes a woman out, and may not even touch her the entire time and if he does, does so in a half-assed manner.

He just loiters around a chick hoping that one day she will just unzip his pants unprompted and put his dick in her mouth.
Shit doesn't work like that.
So she moves on to the thuglette, and then "Nice Guy" gets mad.
When it was YOU who didn't want to do shit.
Mr. Nice Guy, overcome your social conditioning.
Re-claim your manhood.
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And its this bullshit....that jack asses will cosign and say "Yeah.....you right nicca."

This mentality is cool if you are still just chasin' pussy.......

But when will muthaf#ckas grow up and realize that life is not about getting a nut???

Family cotdamnnit....that is what s real.....

The bullsh#t about all of this statement is that Yes women want to f#ck....the problem is that they can t put the d#ck down long enough to be a decent wife mother or mate......

And instead of calling them on this "wanting to be a concubine rather than a wife" mentality....we cosign it by telling dudes...." you need fuck her quicker son....so that she ll respect you." " fuck what her name is....stick your dick in quick or she ll call you nice." ...GTFOHWTBS...


Dammit yall respect you f#ckin dick and stop stickin it into every scallywag you see...
So goes the black community....

:yes:
 
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code_pirahna said:
And its this bullshit....that jack asses will cosign and say "Yeah.....you right nicca."

This mentality is cool if you are still just chasin' pussy.......

But when will muthaf#ckas grow up and realize that life is not about getting a nut???

Family cotdamnnit....that is what s real.....

The bullsh#t about all of this statement is that Yes women want to f#ck....the problem is that they can t put the d#ck down long enough to be a decent wife mother or mate......

And instead of calling them on this "wanting to be a concubine rather than a wife" mentality....we cosign it by telling dudes...." you need fuck her quicker son....so that she ll respect you." " fuck what her name is....stick your dick in quick or she ll call you nice." ...GTFOHWTBS...


Dammit yall respect you f#ckin dick and stop stickin it into every scallywag you see...
So goes the black community....

:yes:
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Our families are in trouble not because women are fucking around too much, but because they are all fucking around with the same niggas.

In order for people to link up in a long term committed relationship, they have to be on par sexual experience wise, or at the very least the man should have more. (Not going to argue this now. Just the way it is. Both men and women want it this way. No ladies, lying about your sexual experience does not work only makes it worse.)

Most folks do go through a screw around phase in life but want to get serious later on.
Problem is, when its time to pair up there are plenty of women left out because Mr. Reformed Player can only marry one chick, and they are not compatible with Mr. Nice Guy for the aformentioned reason.

Mr Nice Guy eventually finds his inexperienced equal to go long term with, but its usually some bottom of the barrel chick no one else wanted. Some fat white chick or something.

Mr Nice Guy. Is this what you want for yourself ?
This is your future !
If you don't like it, do something about it NOW !
Mr Nice Guy, reclaim you manhood.
 
danieldrew3 said:
Our families are in trouble not because women are fucking around too much, but because they are all fucking around with the same niggas.

In order for people to link up in a long term committed relationship, they have to be on par sexual experience wise, or at the very least the man should have more. (Not going to argue this now. Just the way it is. Both men and women want it this way. No ladies, lying about your sexual experience does not work only makes it worse.)

Most folks do go through a screw around phase in life but want to get serious later on.

Problem is, when its time to pair up there are plenty of women left out because Mr. Reformed Player can only marry one chick, and they are not compatible with Mr. Nice Guy for the aformentioned reason.

Mr Nice Guy eventually finds his inexperienced equal to go long term with, but its usually some bottom of the barrel chick no one else wanted. Some fat white chick or something.

Mr Nice Guy. Is this what you want for yourself ?
This is your future !
If you don't like it, do something about it NOW !
Mr Nice Guy, reclaim you manhood.
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Red: Your statement is partly true. Women are sleeping with the same 10 - 15% of dudes....but they are definitely fucking around too much.....

Blue: You will never build a long term relationship off of a foundation of sex....that s like building your house on a foundation of sand...

Green: That is the point...women are not moving on from the casual fuckin' phase.....why is it that a man is able to cheat?

Because there is a scallywag in every neighbor that is willing to sleep with another woman's husband.....

But back to your point...they are sleeping with the same few cats...

And now Adam Carolla @ 1:30....."....get punished for not being bullshit artist."


Hell yeah reclaim your manhood...stop dumbing it down for these warped ass females....
 
Legacy_Infinity said:
This comes off as a bit whiney to me. I'm kind of off put by the whole whiney guy thing. "Ohhh boo hoo i was a nice guy, i did this and that and i liked women, and i respected them...." Waaaah. That's how it comes across to me.

My question is this...."Why not be balanced?" No women don't want a thug. But then they don't want a push over either.

Most guys will say, don't mistake my blah for blah. Kindness i think they usually say. But it's that same idea of what you call kindness that to many females is a weakness.

If you're old enough, why should you care? If you're in your mid 30's you shouldn't be concerned about being a nice guy or whatever. You should be you, and you should know an realize a WOMAN worth something,...not a GIRL...Not just a FEMALE...But a WOMAN worth something is going to make herself presentable to you. In order for you to be with.

If you are then you should be. Alot of guys on BGOL seem to me like hurt puppies. Scarred by their mothers and lashing out at every other female that comes along into their lives.

I still say people should stay in their lanes. For the most part. You'll never be happy without those fundamental things to ground you. And you'll never get that way if you don't find something like yourself.
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HarlemPerv said:
CPT Callamity said:
co-sign. Once you are in your 30's, all that BS about molding yourself for females approval is dead.
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I most admit, I am experiencing this now. I am 33 and dealing with women is less time consuming than it was when I was 23.

I have a decent job, nice crib, and a little money in my savings. I aint balling, but I'm doing alright. I workout and am in good shape.........and more importantly I have no children.

Im not a tough guy, or player.........because that is not my nature.

I don't have to chase women anymore. Women are now scheming on how they can GET WITH ME. The 30+ chicks are scrambling trying to get in with me (and the other guys in my clique). The 30+ broads realize that there "glory" days are over. Plus those broads also realize that since I have all of my stuff together-- that A) I don't NEED them. B) I am a proven PROVIDER.

The chicks in their 20's are a bit more complicated... but their attitude is different as well. Young black sistas do not like to work and build with a young brother. They think they are owed a man that ALREADY has it built. It just happens that since I'm 33 I have things established...that I did not have at 23. Hence the young broads are easy now as well. I'm in good physical shape...so I don't have an issue pulling them either.

Just the way it is.
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If a chick (or man) can't put the same effort as you into a relationship back-off...I've learned..if you treated them good more than likely they'll be back.....then YOU hold all the cards.

People have got to start appreciating people more...
 
Good points made in this thread...

Sorry I didn't check it out any sooner...

What's a good black woman - I mean, no kids (check), good job (check), has her own place, car, etc. (check, check) and stays to herself (check) - to do with committing to a good black man who maybe doesn't want to be committed to?

He's cool with "playing house," but doesn't want to put the title - or ring - on it... Is a female supposed to stay around for that, or go onto the next one?!?

Me personally, I have my own single woman problems (sigh), but I know a lot of it has to do with me (lol), so I'm working on it...but, for a friend, how does this work out?!?
 
JofromthaNO said:
Good points made in this thread...

Sorry I didn't check it out any sooner...

What's a good black woman - I mean, no kids (check), good job (check), has her own place, car, etc. (check, check) and stays to herself (check) - to do with committing to a good black man who maybe doesn't want to be committed to?

He's cool with "playing house," but doesn't want to put the title - or ring - on it... Is a female supposed to stay around for that, or go onto the next one?!?

Me personally, I have my own single woman problems (sigh), but I know a lot of it has to do with me (lol), so I'm working on it...but, for a friend, how does this work out?!?
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Now see u have turned the tables on this thread. U r talking about the dilemma of today's single black female in her 20's or 30's looking at dating and commitment when it comes to black men.

This goes back to my point. Dudes need to man up not only to pull some dime chick in a club or whatever to bang but to realize that he holds the cards to pursue further commitment and to set the standard as to whether the chick will deserve anything further or not. That is from the male dating perspective.

If u are looking from the female perspective then your radar needs to be sharp enough to peer behind any thug or whiny nice guy veneer. In the black community u might be waiting a while. U have to be picky but not too picky. U don't have to lower your standards completely but don't expect picture perfect perfection either.

It can get a little complicated on you female's side especially black females. It has happened time and time again that the baddest females can make the crappiest mating decisions. But that happens in every culture. It's just that the Black culture catches it harder than other cultures and ethnic groups.
 

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