Male vs Female reality

[4 Dimensional]

My chick and i were discussing the rules of what has to change when you get into a serious relationship. Her thing was she has guy friends that, even if we take this further, she wants to still hang out with. I told her it depends on what, where and why. She said a male coworker invited her to an NBA game because he had an extra ticket. She doesn't think there is anything wrong with his invite. I feel that dude knows she has man, and he should have asked a dude or any other single female to go to that game with him, not a female he knows has a dude. She thinks i am overreacting, i told her dude has zero respect for her relationship and he is testing the waters to see what little shit you might do now so he can push the boundaries later on. Once you commit or get married, serious guy friends need to fall back.

She then asks me if her female friend was wrong for inviting a married dude out for a platonic situation. All 3 know each other. The wife wasn't cool with it, but dude went anyway. I feel that is my girls friend really valued their marriage, once she saw the wife didnt want to go and wasn't cool with her man going out with her, she should have taken the invite off the table. I think she said Fuck Yo Couch to their marriage by going with the married dude anywhere after that.

Thoughts?

Would like to hear your take...

*two cents*

There are many great points made in thread.

A few things I've noticed when listening to people's relationship is the constant miscommunication because of semantics on how they understand something. For example, the OP and his girl has a different fundamental understanding on respect of a relationship. Doesn't seem like they see it the same way, so based my perspective, they are not really talking about the same thing when having this discussion.

Next, thing is honesty. But not honesty with the other person, but honesty with yourself. Can a person hold themselves to the same standard as they do their partner? IMO, this is one of the most difficult things for people to do. Based on the logic presented by the OP's girl which stated "She doesn't think there is anything wrong with his invite", could she honestly feel the same way if it was the other away around? Does she have the ability to see the contradiction/hypocrisy?

I often find that it's hard for people to be consistent in relationships if boundaries are not established early. Then, how much "past experience" are both individuals bringing into the situation? For example, does she say she sees nothing wrong with an invite because her previous man did that to her? I've learned to ask questions to probe deeply into the life experiences of my wife. It helped me understand her thinking better.

So for the OP, I suggest you probe her thinking more by asking "why" she thinks a particular way. You're asking to understand her. The more you probe, the more you'll find out about her way of thinking. This will cause her to have to look at herself. If she is unwilling to see herself and her faults, then that's a huge red flag in the long run. But you also have to be critical of yourself the same way.

Wifey and I both have a similar understanding of respect of the relationship. We further discussed what that means, what comes with it, and do we agree. Trust is good and all, but you still have to have faith. Trust is no good if their is no faith. There is where empathy can become a VERY powerful tool. When I put myself in her shoes, I gain perspective. It also allows me to hold her accountable to her words.

 

[Mixd]

Fuck it...this is a dope post taxed on to a dope thread so I'm going to keep it all the way 100%.


IMHO....

I believe that the reason relationship's is a man's domain- thus ultimately anything that happens in it is his responsiblity, women don't HAVE relationships they are IN relationships- is because a great relationship is built on principles and the VAST MAJORITY of women have none...by design.

The six stages of moral development by Kolberg in the 1950's. It states that women do not progress morally to the same heights as a man. Men have Justice Based morality which goes to level six while women has Care Based morality which peaks at level 3.

Past level 3 you get into matters that supersede how one might FEEL about a matter and start dealing with matter on a colder plan of rational that supersedes one's feelings.

How many women do you know can do that?

Exactly....and you see their inability to do that in every other conversation with a woman. Their default rationale....is how the FEEL.

The only time I've seen a women act of principle is when the principle matched up with how she FELT. How she felt took priority.

That's level 3.

[My relationship with my woman] works because of my logic not because of hers. If we relied on her logic we'd be finished!- Patrice O'Neal.

A relationship is a man's domain because it's survival is based on the principles he establishes and presents to her to agree and abide to.

Women don't have relationships...they are simply in them.

*two cents*

To sum it up, women tend to act on emotion and men tend to act more on logic.

Another thing is women care more about what others think, men not so much.

Alot of men don't realize women think exactly like men as in they would fuck their coworker, only IF, no one would know. But because they would open the door to getting caught they just don't.

But take into that factor of how many times they get hit on all day, and as a man how many times a day do you?

 

[johnnybills]

Simpin 101

 

[Ballatician]

Fuck it...this is a dope post taxed on to a dope thread so I'm going to keep it all the way 100%.


IMHO....

I believe that the reason relationship's is a man's domain- thus ultimately anything that happens in it is his responsiblity, women don't HAVE relationships they are IN relationships- is because a great relationship is built on principles and the VAST MAJORITY of women have none...by design.

The six stages of moral development by Kolberg in the 1950's. It states that women do not progress morally to the same heights as a man. Men have Justice Based morality which goes to level six while women has Care Based morality which peaks at level 3.

Past level 3 you get into matters that supersede how one might FEEL about a matter and start dealing with matter on a colder plan of rational that supersedes one's feelings.

How many women do you know can do that?

Exactly....and you see their inability to do that in every other conversation with a woman. Their default rationale....is how the FEEL.

The only time I've seen a women act of principle is when the principle matched up with how she FELT. How she felt took priority.

That's level 3.

[My relationship with my woman] works because of my logic not because of hers. If we relied on her logic we'd be finished!- Patrice O'Neal.

A relationship is a man's domain because it's survival is based on the principles he establishes and presents to her to agree and abide to.

Women don't have relationships...they are simply in them.

*two cents*

That’s how white boys think.

The belief that a relationship is a “man’s domain” lacks balance.

In Eurasian thought, everything is either Black or White, Weak or Strong, Male or Female. No harmony, no balance, and unhappiness is common.

 

[BronxBomber]

Real talk. And again, we never realize how stressful it is to regulate who your mate is talkin too or hanging with. Tends to have you forget about the most important things in your relationship and what brought you two together in the first place. You can't give someone that much control over your relationship. If you don't trust her that much just move on. But it may not be her issue it maybe yours and the guy will take that "you shouldn't be talking to him" mentality right into another relationship. Plenty of men and women look for those moments and don't even know it. I don't have the patience for that shit. Too many other more important things I'm dealing with and taking care of to make an attempt to control what I ultimately will never fully control. Grandma told me years ago never stress over shit you can't control. I ain't got the time man.

Fam even with my sons mom’s, I have a rule and she knows it too. 95% of the time I’m like cool, I’ll roll with it. 5% if I have to say no, it’s non negotiable and she knows that, but to try and own someone always leads to underlined issues.

I’m out here fulfilling my legacy, goes for anybody in my life, if you want on, here are the rules. If not cool, but I’d lose my mind trying to make people do the right thing. On top if that it doesn’t work

If brothers think they gf/wives ain’t lusting or letting someone smashed cause you got her location in her phone you are a fool...

 

[Madrox]

But from all you wrote, that she wants to hang with you and your boys and she don't want you around her friends, to me sounds like she has borderline underlying trust issues. Similar to my wife.

...which is hilarious because she has been constantly accusing ME of not trusting HER cuz I made a big deal about her contact with old dude. I agree with you about female competitiveness, same def goes for dudes and my boys (like any). My thing is I just try to keep myself out of trouble, and don't put myself in sticky situations in the name of "fun". One time she asked me if I didnt trust my BOYS in that situation, to respect my relationship...but she couldnt understand that's it's not jealousy, it's that I don't trust certain SITUATIONS. I dunno bruh, I feel like as a man you get to a certain layer of reasoning with a chick and all they start to hear is excuses about why your not allowing them to do something when really they are legit reasons from your soul because you have sense of self.

If a chick wants to fuck or even hang out with another dude then do that. But I'll be damned if Ima be expected to not do the same.

 

[SpiritualPorn]

imma add on to this insight..................

he is right you dont own her. the only person you can control in a relationship is you. HOWEVER, females are competitive by nature and one thing i have learned over the years is to use their hypergamous nature against them. If they have male friends, then you should have females friends. if they can go out with members of the opposite sex on some ol we cool ish, then so should you. Im not saying take advantage of the situation to fuck outside the relationship. im saying that if you know you are a good man and handling business, then no need to worry about the competition. good men are hard to come by these days for women.....if you good to her and she is good with you, then dont worry about the scenario, its on her to make sure she doesnt fuck up a good thing. bc just having female friends around you lets her know that she aint the only one hawking you. females cant go out on a friendly meet and NOT be thinking about what her man is doing right now unless she already has design on other things. if you got females friends, then she knows other women will want what she has and she wont eff it up.

if you ever seen that movie "rising sun" with sean connery and wesly snipes. seans character dropped pimp game in that movie. He was always talking about how he kept the little birds in the cages with the door open. He said always leave the door open for them to leave. they will always come back bc they know that they are free to leave any time. its that reverse psychology that fucks them up. no female is giving up that kind of freedom by fucking it up. plus it frees you of all the stress and worry and lets you get on with whatever you want to do.....care free and stress free.

I love this response

However, if A SPOUSE is going on dates with male friends, I WILL FUCK EVERY FEMALE I FEEL LIKE! !

I won't ask what she is doing because I will make sure what I'm doing is 20 times worse that the worst thing I could imagine her doing. I might fuck one if her female friends as well.



Don't try to play me

 

[Gods_Debris]

Oh man, funny you bring some of these scenarios up now. I just got out of (what I viewed as) a serious relationship over these issues. 9 months, broke up 2 weeks ago right before Christmas. Before taking things to the next-next level (we'd been physically committed for the duration, but haven't said "we're officially a couple") the talking with ex's situation came up again and it went badly (again). There's this dude that she "dated" in her past, but the reality is they were fuck buddies that met online and she admitted that although he was cool she always knew he wouldnt be the typa dude to bring home to meet her family and she was just looking for something physical at the time (her words).....so a few weeks back her and I are having a few drinks at the bar, and this dude casually comes up in conversation again. She mentioned something about him saying something to her the other day, so I'm like "wait a minute you still talk to this dude?" She went all-in with rebuttals about how even if you are in a relationship, that you should still have friends of the opposite sex. And my response is that I don't necessarily disagree, but it depends on what the nature of that relationship was. And further, she's had issues with my interacting with chicks from my past, so I throw it back at her "you would be okay with me doing the same thing?"

We ended up going back and forth, riffin in the middle of the bar until she finally got up said she was going home and that she doesn't think this is going to work out (lmao). This was the 3rd time this had happened over the life span of our relationship btw. The only answer I have is that women are pretty illogical and selfish when it comes to what they want to do. If a woman feels as if you're trying to keep her from what they perceive as just having "fun", it's almost like psychological abuse to them. And they def dont see the harm in their actions unless you turn it around on them. Its wild, and in my experience it doesnt get much better with age, esp with my peer group (late 30s early 40s) who are those ladies trying to squeeze the last bit of juice out of their "youth" before going downhill..

she shittin on your dick game, the thirsty cunt. fuck her... keep it moving fam.

 

[Spectrum]

Absolutely NOTHING!!!!

lmbaoooooooooooo

 

[Spectrum]

I feel like if a dude knows she’s married, why is he asking her to go to the Keith Sweat concert? That dude don’t respect me or her relationship. Who the fuck takes a committed or married bitch to a concert??? She felt I was wrong. I told her to go and see what h-happens

A Keith Sweat concert?! lmbaoo... they already fucking

 

[Spectrum]

My point is once you don't let shit like that bother you it'll become less of an issue and theres a good chance she won't wanna hang out with members of the opposite sex like that. Regulating your partners friends for whatever reason you feel valid is taxing and draining. Very time consuming. Don't worry about that shit. She wants to go to a game with dude, let her. Fuck dat, find some other shit to do while she goes to the game. Other dude don't know you and shouldn't have any loyalty towards you.

Wives shouldn't want to hang out with random ass dudes. It's not even about controlling and saying what she shouldn't do. I wouldn't even be with a woman (im using serious relationship and wive as the reference) that would even want to do that shit. Man..most women that are REALLY into a dude don't even think about other dudes. She's trying to get ALL your available time.

 

[Spectrum]

Fuck all dat shit. But your absolutely right. Some women feel that's a sign that you love and care for them if you be on them like that. I don't have the time or patience to stress over something like that.

Yeah.. with random ass females you're just smashing. Let her do what she's gonna do. Niggas that's dealing with shit like this with their WIVES are chumps. You shouldn't have to control what your wife is going to do because she should be CHOOSING YOU all the time. If it's a friday night, your wife should never be choosing some random nigga ahead of her husband. She should be wanted to be with you, get fucked by you, etc.

Cats getting beta-maled by their wives is the most pathetic shit in the world. Niggas taking your wife to a KEITH SWEAT concert? lmbaooooo..man I'm fucking done.... if that's the deal, why even marry her...just have an open relationship. I'm willing to bet anything in the example of that keith sweath shit that dude is already fucking... she's just doesn't think she needs to hide it. He gay or he fucking

edit: the keith sweat dude said "serious relationship" not wife but the same thing still applies... why would she want to go to a keith sweat concert with some random dude?.... that's a date!

 

[Spectrum]

Uhhuh, fall for that “it’s just drinks!” line if you want to, I have a coworker in a relationship who swearssssssssssss she loves her dude and pulls that bullshit every few weeks and more often than not it leads to an Uber back to the person’s crib she went out with and she ends up getting fucked. Next 2 weeks it’s sadness and tears then a couple weeks later rinse and repeat. I could’ve hit after more than a few work functions if that was my wave

THIS

 

[Quek9]

Yeah.. with random ass females you're just smashing. Let her do what she's gonna do. Niggas that's dealing with shit like this with their WIVES are chumps. You shouldn't have to control what your wife is going to do because she should be CHOOSING YOU all the time. If it's a friday night, your wife should never be choosing some random nigga ahead of her husband. She should be wanted to be with you, get fucked by you, etc.

Niggas getting beta-maled by their wives is the most pathetic shit in the world. Niggas taking your wife to a KEITH SWEAT concert? lmbaooooo..man I'm fucking done.... if that's the deal, why even marry her...just have an open relationship. I'm willing to bet anything in the example of that keith sweath shit that dude is already fucking... she's just doesn't think she needs to hide it. He gay or he fucking

edit: the keith sweat dude said "serious relationship" not wife but the same thing still applies... why would she want to go to a keith sweat concert with some random dude?....nigga that's a date!

quoted for truth

 

[bgbtylvr]

Yeah.. with random ass females you're just smashing. Let her do what she's gonna do. Niggas that's dealing with shit like this with their WIVES are chumps. You shouldn't have to control what your wife is going to do because she should be CHOOSING YOU all the time. If it's a friday night, your wife should never be choosing some random nigga ahead of her husband. She should be wanted to be with you, get fucked by you, etc.

Niggas getting beta-maled by their wives is the most pathetic shit in the world. Niggas taking your wife to a KEITH SWEAT concert? lmbaooooo..man I'm fucking done.... if that's the deal, why even marry her...just have an open relationship. I'm willing to bet anything in the example of that keith sweath shit that dude is already fucking... she's just doesn't think she needs to hide it. He gay or he fucking

edit: the keith sweat dude said "serious relationship" not wife but the same thing still applies... why would she want to go to a keith sweat concert with some random dude?....nigga that's a date!

That’s why I said. My chick isn’t the woman in question, she is friends with them. But she asked what I would if she got those same offers.

 

[Naha-Nago]

That’s how white boys think.

The belief that a relationship is a “man’s domain” lacks balance.

In Eurasian thought, everything is either Black or White, Weak or Strong, Male or Female. No harmony, no balance, and unhappiness is common.

White boy thinking? Were there no kings in Africa?

Harmony is not always equality harmony is more often than not a symbiotic relationships where both parties give to a situation, counterbalance each others strengths/weaknesses, so that the sum is better than the parts.

That creates balance and dare I say...happiness.

But to my overarching point- Relationship is a man's domain. Put all the high level thinking aside and get gangsta with it...

If relationships were not a man's domain, why is every woman regardless of race, origin, social economic situation, or age at one point or another in her life has come to a man....

...to get into one?

"Baby...WHAT ARE WE?"

I have lived 38 years on this earth and I have NEVER had to ask a woman to be in HER relationship, ask for my STATUS in a relationship with her, or have to ask her, covertly or overtly, for a TITLE in said relationship.

NOT ONCE.


And if you want to be honest with yourself neither have you.


So,

WHOSE DOMAIN IS THE RELATIONSHIP IN?

Spoiler: Here's a hint.

You don't market shit to people they already have access to. No one is teaching women how to get laid- they already know how to do that. Get/keep a man however?

*two cents*

 

[Mixd]

Yeah.. with random ass females you're just smashing. Let her do what she's gonna do. Niggas that's dealing with shit like this with their WIVES are chumps. You shouldn't have to control what your wife is going to do because she should be CHOOSING YOU all the time. If it's a friday night, your wife should never be choosing some random nigga ahead of her husband. She should be wanted to be with you, get fucked by you, etc.

Niggas getting beta-maled by their wives is the most pathetic shit in the world. Niggas taking your wife to a KEITH SWEAT concert? lmbaooooo..man I'm fucking done.... if that's the deal, why even marry her...just have an open relationship. I'm willing to bet anything in the example of that keith sweath shit that dude is already fucking... she's just doesn't think she needs to hide it. He gay or he fucking

edit: the keith sweat dude said "serious relationship" not wife but the same thing still applies... why would she want to go to a keith sweat concert with some random dude?....nigga that's a date!

Man my boy used to be with this chick, she had male friends, one was gay too. They ended up fucking one night being drunk. I don't put it past any dude. If your girl likes dick, what's gonna stop her when she drunk hanging out with "Twan"?

Oh that's just "Twan"...

Yeah ok, you beleev dat shit. Lol

I don't sleep. It's why I make moves and real killas move in silence.

 

[Spectrum]

Trust in a relationship is "can I trust you to do what you say you're going to do?". Can I trust that you'll keep a secret if I tell you something important and don't want it shared? Trust is do I know you're gonna, when pressed, make decisions that are in my best interests without me there to guide you through it....etc

Trust isn't "Can I trust that going out for drinks and a Keith Sweat concert with Reggie won't lead to her getting fucked"?

IMHO, that relationship is already broken just by the fact that she WANTS to do that shit.

 

[Spectrum]

Man my boy used to be with this chick, she had male friends, one was gay too. They ended up fucking one night being drunk. I don't put it past any dude. If your girl likes dick, what's gonna stop her when she drunk hanging out with "Twan"?

Oh that's just "Twan"...

Yeah ok, you beleev dat shit. Lol

I don't sleep. It's why I make moves and real killas move in silence.

Can't even go out with "Twan"

 

[Mixd]

Can't even go out with "Twan"

Chicks be like, " babe, I'm not attracted to him, he's not even attracted to me. We were both drunk and I barely remember what happened. I'm sorry babe, but I wanted to be truthful. It only happened once. Wait, it did happen two years before we met, but that don't count."

 

[Spectrum]

I'm tripping on the Keith Sweat shit. Dude sings about nothing but pussy.

 

[Madrox]

 

[alexw]

My chick and i were discussing the rules of what has to change when you get into a serious relationship. Her thing was she has guy friends that, even if we take this further, she wants to still hang out with. I told her it depends on what, where and why. She said a male coworker invited her to an NBA game because he had an extra ticket. She doesn't think there is anything wrong with his invite. I feel that dude knows she has man, and he should have asked a dude or any other single female to go to that game with him, not a female he knows has a dude. She thinks i am overreacting, i told her dude has zero respect for her relationship and he is testing the waters to see what little shit you might do now so he can push the boundaries later on. Once you commit or get married, serious guy friends need to fall back.

She then asks me if her female friend was wrong for inviting a married dude out for a platonic situation. All 3 know each other. The wife wasn't cool with it, but dude went anyway. I feel that is my girls friend really valued their marriage, once she saw the wife didnt want to go and wasn't cool with her man going out with her, she should have taken the invite off the table. I think she said Fuck Yo Couch to their marriage by going with the married dude anywhere after that.

Thoughts?

When you didn't have a girlfriend and you offered to take a chick to a concert/NBA game what was your reasoning behind that?

 

[Lower9Nupe]

My chick and i were discussing the rules of what has to change when you get into a serious relationship. Her thing was she has guy friends that, even if we take this further, she wants to still hang out with. I told her it depends on what, where and why. She said a male coworker invited her to an NBA game because he had an extra ticket. She doesn't think there is anything wrong with his invite. I feel that dude knows she has man, and he should have asked a dude or any other single female to go to that game with him, not a female he knows has a dude. She thinks i am overreacting, i told her dude has zero respect for her relationship and he is testing the waters to see what little shit you might do now so he can push the boundaries later on. Once you commit or get married, serious guy friends need to fall back.

She then asks me if her female friend was wrong for inviting a married dude out for a platonic situation. All 3 know each other. The wife wasn't cool with it, but dude went anyway. I feel that is my girls friend really valued their marriage, once she saw the wife didnt want to go and wasn't cool with her man going out with her, she should have taken the invite off the table. I think she said Fuck Yo Couch to their marriage by going with the married dude anywhere after that.

Thoughts?

YES, ol' boy was testing your woman to see the EXTENT she respects you. She failed you.

 

[REDLINE]

I feel like if a dude knows she’s married, why is he asking her to go to the Keith Sweat concert? That dude don’t respect me or her relationship. Who the fuck takes a committed or married bitch to a concert??? She felt I was wrong. I told her to go and see what h-happens

At least he wanted to wine and dine her, plus take her to a nice concert before he took her back to his place to fuck the shit out of her.

 

[REDLINE]

If your "Woman" feels it's ok to go out with male friends, just make sure she doesn't have an issue when you do the same.

Also make a mental note, that's not your "Woman". That's just a person that you hangout and have sex with. Continue your search for a woman that has respect for you and your relationship.

 

[Ballatician]

White boy thinking? Were there no kings in Africa?

Harmony is not always equality harmony is more often than not a symbiotic relationships where both parties give to a situation, counterbalance each others strengths/weaknesses, so that the sum is better than the parts.

That creates balance and dare I say...happiness.

But to my overarching point- Relationship is a man's domain. Put all the high level thinking aside and get gangsta with it...

If relationships were not a man's domain, why is every woman regardless of race, origin, social economic situation, or age at one point or another in her life has come to a man....

...to get into one?

"Baby...WHAT ARE WE?"

I have lived 38 years on this earth and I have NEVER had to ask a woman to be in HER relationship, ask for my STATUS in a relationship with her, or have to ask her, covertly or overtly, for a TITLE in said relationship.

NOT ONCE.


And if you want to be honest with yourself neither have you.


So,

WHOSE DOMAIN IS THE RELATIONSHIP IN?

Spoiler: Here's a hint.

You don't market shit to people they already have access to. No one is teaching women how to get laid- they already know how to do that. Get/keep a man however?

*two cents*

Were there not Queens in Africa?

What you said about harmony is on point, you acknowledge complementarity, balance, etc. But from there it took a sour turn, it’s like you went from African thought to Western thought.

I don’t see a relationship as either a man’s or woman’s domain, but rather a domain governed by whatever holds it up. That which is true and pure will hold it up firmly, and that which is superficial or of the moment will collapse in due time.

A woman inquiring about a relationship status is most likely a communication problem. I only had these inquiries with sistas I was dating/fucking and not being forthcoming to. When I first started dating my wife she never had to ask me what we were because I communicated it right away.

 

[Bad Andy]

As sound as @jack walsh13 advice is, I have to beg to differ in the subject when it comes to your woman. Animal instinct is to fend off any other trespassers in your space. Lions don’t allow non-pride lions to join the pride. Any Lion trying to join the pride must kill off the dominant male in the pride. Another male wanting to be around a woman she knows is in a committed relationship is only adding confusion to your mix. Before you can make the issue about dude reevaluate your girl, better yet find another girl. Keith Sweat concerts lead to fucking.

Wives shouldn't want to hang out with random ass dudes. It's not even about controlling and saying what she shouldn't do. I wouldn't even be with a woman (im using serious relationship and wive as the reference) that would even want to do that shit. Man..most women that are REALLY into a dude don't even think about other dudes. She's trying to get ALL your available time.

 

[Naha-Nago]

Were there not Queens in Africa?

What you said about harmony is on point, you acknowledge complementarity, balance, etc. But from there it took a sour turn, it’s like you went from African thought to Western thought.

I don’t see a relationship as either a man’s or woman’s domain, but rather a domain governed by whatever holds it up. That which is true and pure will hold it up firmly, and that which is superficial or of the moment will collapse in due time.

A woman inquiring about a relationship status is most likely a communication problem. I only had these inquiries with sistas I was dating/fucking and not being forthcoming to. When I first started dating my wife she never had to ask me what we were because I communicated it right away.

To your points.

1. This world and all worlds were built on the brains, brawn, and blood of men. Queens? What is a Queen but the King's bitch? Seriously, throughout history what kingdom has a woman built? Ruled, yes but at the death of the king. HER KING had to die.

The King is the QUEEN's KING.
The Queen is the KING's woman.

The Queen bows to the King. The king bows to no one.

2. I'm not sure what straws you are picking at as it relates to a symbiotic relationship. Science works the same in America and Africa pimp.

3. Relationship is a man's domain, I can explain that to you high level or low level. I'll just say we agree to disagree.

4. You're being a little disingenuous but fuck it...

TITLE. A woman can ask, inquiry, hint, demand, assume, about the status she has in a man's life but it all comes down to that man must GIVE THE TITLE to her. You told your future wife what she was to you. All she could do is accept or reject it but she couldn't acquire it in her own power.

That's why marriage is such a huge stripe for a woman...a man has to OFFER it to her.

Your wife? How did the proposal go? Did you make the declaration that you WANTED her as your wife, or did she command you to be her husband....

Yeah.. That's my point.

*two cents*

 

[Database Error]

But to each his own, my speech is born
Keep that shit up outta my zone - Andre3000


No need for friends around these parts. We got enough bullshit by ourselves.

 

[POSTERBOY]

Some hoes just dont give no fucks at all.

You do NOT know the half my nigga.

 

[Famous1]

There are many great points made in thread.

A few things I've noticed when listening to people's relationship is the constant miscommunication because of semantics on how they understand something. For example, the OP and his girl has a different fundamental understanding on respect of a relationship. Doesn't seem like they see it the same way, so based my perspective, they are not really talking about the same thing when having this discussion.

Next, thing is honesty. But not honesty with the other person, but honesty with yourself. Can a person hold themselves to the same standard as they do their partner? IMO, this is one of the most difficult things for people to do. Based on the logic presented by the OP's girl which stated "She doesn't think there is anything wrong with his invite", could she honestly feel the same way if it was the other away around? Does she have the ability to see the contradiction/hypocrisy?

I often find that it's hard for people to be consistent in relationships if boundaries are not established early. Then, how much "past experience" are both individuals bringing into the situation? For example, does she say she sees nothing wrong with an invite because her previous man did that to her? I've learned to ask questions to probe deeply into the life experiences of my wife. It helped me understand her thinking better.

So for the OP, I suggest you probe her thinking more by asking "why" she thinks a particular way. You're asking to understand her. The more you probe, the more you'll find out about her way of thinking. This will cause her to have to look at herself. If she is unwilling to see herself and her faults, then that's a huge red flag in the long run. But you also have to be critical of yourself the same way.

Wifey and I both have a similar understanding of respect of the relationship. We further discussed what that means, what comes with it, and do we agree. Trust is good and all, but you still have to have faith. Trust is no good if their is no faith. There is where empathy can become a VERY powerful tool. When I put myself in her shoes, I gain perspective. It also allows me to hold her accountable to her words.

Misunderstanding? Lol... naw . She understands full well the implications of being in a committed relationship. She's trying to play... Start hanging out with one or two of her female friends..watch the story change.

To your points.

1. This world and all worlds were built on the brains, brawn, and blood of men. Queens? What is a Queen but the King's bitch? Seriously, throughout history what kingdom has a woman built? Ruled, yes but at the death of the king. HER KING had to die.

The King is the QUEEN's KING.
The Queen is the KING's woman.

The Queen bows to the King. The king bows to no one.

2. I'm not sure what straws you are picking at as it relates to a symbiotic relationship. Science works the same in America and Africa pimp.

3. Relationship is a man's domain, I can explain that to you high level or low level. I'll just say we agree to disagree.

4. You're being a little disingenuous but fuck it...

TITLE. A woman can ask, inquiry, hint, demand, assume, about the status she has in a man's life but it all comes down to that man must GIVE THE TITLE it to her. You told your future wife what she was to you. All she could do is accept or reject it but she couldn't acquire it in her own power.

That's why marriage is such a huge stripe for a woman...a man has to OFFER it to her.

Your wife? How did the proposal go? Did you make the declaration that you WANTED her as your wife, or did she command you to be her husband....

Yeah.. That's my point.

*two cents*

Hard but Fair...

 

[Bad Andy]

This
/Thread

To your points.

1. This world and all worlds were built on the brains, brawn, and blood of men. Queens? What is a Queen but the King's bitch? Seriously, throughout history what kingdom has a woman built? Ruled, yes but at the death of the king. HER KING had to die.

The King is the QUEEN's KING.
The Queen is the KING's woman.

The Queen bows to the King. The king bows to no one.

2. I'm not sure what straws you are picking at as it relates to a symbiotic relationship. Science works the same in America and Africa pimp.

3. Relationship is a man's domain, I can explain that to you high level or low level. I'll just say we agree to disagree.

4. You're being a little disingenuous but fuck it...

TITLE. A woman can ask, inquiry, hint, demand, assume, about the status she has in a man's life but it all comes down to that man must GIVE THE TITLE it to her. You told your future wife what she was to you. All she could do is accept or reject it but she couldn't acquire it in her own power.

That's why marriage is such a huge stripe for a woman...a man has to OFFER it to her.

Your wife? How did the proposal go? Did you make the declaration that you WANTED her as your wife, or did she command you to be her husband....

Yeah.. That's my point.

*two cents*

 

[Mixd]

Watching this movie Welcome Home and saw this chick in it Emily Ratajkowski (Fappening fave), she said this classic line in the movie. Made me think of this thread.

She said after both her and her boyfriend cheated, "let's just forget any of this ever happened and start over anew"

LOL.

It's how easy women will tend to erase events, happenings, or fuck sessions.
"I've only been with three guys before meeting you"

 

[Quek9]

Watching this movie Welcome Home and saw this chick in it Emily Ratajkowski (Fappening fave), she said this classic line in the movie. Made me think of this thread.

She said after both her and her boyfriend cheated, "let's just forget any of this ever happened and start over anew"

LOL.

It's how easy women will tend to erase events, happenings, or fuck sessions.
"I've only been with three guys before meeting you"

To some women especially cac women sucking doesn't count as being with...