a classmate of mine in High school. lived down the street from me. Always came off as the 'Joe Cool' type.
i remember playing football in the front yard and seeing an ambulance race past my house & down the street.
later heard from his younger brother that it was him.
you never know what inner demons a person may be carrying.
I've told this story before. Sometimes, a chance meeting can make a hell of a difference in your life
I I'm not real close to my immediate family.
In 2004 when I start at the job I'm at now I met a nurse who was catching the same bus as I was. She was attractive, so I was drawn to talk to her
I asked her where she worked and she replied, " I work on the suicide Ward"
The suicide ward?" I asked.
She went on to explain that she worked on a ward where people attempted suicide and failed
One of the guys did a swan dive off of a 10-story building and survived, now he's quadriplegic. Another guy shot himself in the mouth and lived now he's quadriplegic. Another guy shot himself in the head and now he's paraplegic.
It was one of the guys she named. Either way, each of these guys are far more worse off now than they were when they attempted suicide
Life sucks an awful lot. It just fucking does. Sometimes it seems like you can't catch a break. I suffer through depression because it just sucks being alone. I didn't end up talking to the nurse on the suicide Ward because she had too many kids
There are times when I think about canceling my own Christmas, so to speak. The reason I don't is because of that chance meeting with that nurse
What if I miss?
What if I miss and I end up far worse off and I'm doing right now which is not that bad. I've got all my bills paid I got a job Pam a 60000 a year (Midwest Money)
I struggle with self-confidence because of upbringing and my parents never really showing me any kind of attention. I remember having to beg them to come to performances I'd have in elementary school and I don't think they ever came to one of my performances in high school
After High School I begged and begged my mother or siblings to come to performances I'd have what I'm singing in a talent show and sometimes they show up but most times they wouldn't
One particular thing the nurse said to me stuck out. "Everything but AIDS and herpes ends."
Think about it. Other than those two things, damn near everything that you face has a potential of getting better.
What if I miss?
If I attempt suicide and I'm no longer able to sing, or I'm no longer able to write, both things that bring great joy to me. Or worse, I'm quadriplegic and no longer even able to attempt to take my own life.
Give it time. Anybody who's thinking about it or on the verge or seriously depressed, give it time. It could get better oh, and even if it gets a little worse, it can still get better
