the role of any adult in a child's life is to provide them w/the tools to be a positive human and teach them the value of making wise decisions w/their lives.
Thank you Buttnaked. Thank you.
Peace
the role of any adult in a child's life is to provide them w/the tools to be a positive human and teach them the value of making wise decisions w/their lives.
If they shouldnt be calling another man daddy then why arent you w/ the mom of your children?
I OVERstand your question....and the reason you are not satisfied with the responses is because you should not be askin it to women. It is NOT their place or position to dictate or state how a MAN should be a MAN. It's not about being a "dad" or a "stepdad"....it's about being a MAN. Now my $.02 on your question...I am happilly divorced with 2(boy)children. I am absolutely "on the ball". Any man coming into my X wifes life only real role is to focus on his relationship with her and be another good male example to my children. He has absolutely NO disciplinary authority(that is for my x wife and I). If there is a situation that requires more discipline than she can handle...CALL ME AND PUT THE CHILD/CHILDREN ON THE PHONE!! That is how on the ball I am. He is NOT and will NOT ever be addressed as a stepdad(unless I die). He is the ****** that is now fucking their mother and that is what is "role" is so that biyatch is happy and leaves me the fuck alone. And yes only 40+ posts and I have an opinion
Thanks for quoting him Iron.
@ OP: my comment comes from the fact that a 19 year old has more insight into your situation than you do. You had children with a woman who you are no longer with and there is a new man playing a significant role in your children's lives, and you're over here getting huffy about what they call him. Last I looked a sperm donor is not the same as a father/daddy/dad. If he is putting in time/money/love with your kids and they call him dad you don't have anything to say about it. Do as much as you can for your kids and make sure they know that you are their biological dad. It's simple
won't pull that card until the situation dictates. she's a great mother and we respect each other totally. i still have worries about when she does settle with someone though.how about taking custody?
what a pathetic sense of logic.
peace. yea i realize i should not have asked this question to these birds.
the women are showin no respect for the biologican fathers of their kids. and they aren't answering the question anyway. i want to know what they feel a stepdad's role is if the real dad is active. do these women want their kids calling another woman "mom"?
peace. yea i realize i should not have asked this question to these birds.
what a pathetic sense of logic.
peace. yea i realize i should not have asked this question to these birds.
where did you see me say there was already someone there? read the damn thread.At first I thought he was just a bit heated.
but after these two ...
OP is kinda bold aint he its no wonder why there's a new respectful, stand-up guy in the picture
i actually don't have to keep the shit talking to myself. but thanks for responding.
No one's opinions deserve the name calling.. keep the shit talking to your self...
To the original question. I think children play a large part in the role and guidance that their stepparents give them. Younger children are more likely to be receptive to a step parent and are the ones who usually face a debate on whether to call them "dad", "mom" or whatever. Most of the time, and from what I've heard from divorced people who date, they usually tell the kids, "you have a daddy (or mommy) who loves you, and don't feel obligated to call this person by that... But if the children feel comfortable enough to give someone that label, why not? If the other parent is active they don't have to feel like they are losing out. They should be glad that someone else cares about their children enough to warrant that kind of respect from them. My mom got married when I was like 15 or 16 and I was all rebellious and was like "I don't believe in step parents" and my step father never really did forgive me for that... He wasn't the nicest person to my mom, but he was good to his children and grandkids, I just didn't feel comfortable around him. I do wish later on things had been different because he supported me (financially) when I was in college. While I didn't agree with the relationship he had with my mom, I couldn't knock him... Too bad I didn't have the knowledge then that I have now...
He died this summer...
thanks bruh.They're not answering the question. They keep delving off into their own experiences.
He said IF THE FATHER IS DOING HIS JOB...
I say just be a positive male role model and be cool with the bio. The step should run his household and be a disciplinarian but make a point to include the dad in important decisions.
I'm not saying they have to be boys, but have enough understanding that they will both do what's in the best interest of the child and don't allow the child to play both sides against the middle. If I was a step and the father was a positive and active influence I wouldn't want him to call me Dad.
thanks bruh.
i shoulda just posted this in the main. shit.
i actually don't have to keep the shit talking to myself. but thanks for responding.
i wanted sensible answers you ignorant muthafucka damn.Come on now.... everyone knows the place for "shit talking and posting pics" is bgol not sol... so yeah... kinda you do... if you didn't want people to answer your question, then answer me this: WHY THE FUCK DID YOU ASK IT?????
i wanted sensible answers you ignorant muthafucka damn.
yes but you can cuss me out all day huh? keep in mind i was RESPONDING to vulgarity shown toward me FIRST. now tell THEM to keep it respectful. you won't though because yall aint nothin but children.Ok now I don't care if you reply to the answers you receive in here but I will ask you once to remain respectful, the name calling is unnecessary, and that goes to anyone else who has replied in this thread. You received sensible answers but chose to ignore them and maintain your stance because it was NOT in keeping with your own view point.
If you maintain relations with your children who are not living in your household I give you props and respect for that. However, as has already been said in here. If your ex has chosen to move on and is with someone who has love for your children and has respect for you as their father why would it be an issue if the children are placed first.
Is the issue only regarding discipline? That I can comprehend to an extent but he is still an authority figure. And in his home there should have already been communication regarding the children. Logically speaking that would be the sensible thing. To expect that a man who has chosen to deal with a woman with children should not have ANY part in the rearing of these children is ridiculous.
Peace
And again let me remind you all to keep the name calling to a minimum.
why the fuck did you ask. If stay the fuck from over here.
yes but you can cuss me out all day huh? keep in mind i was RESPONDING to vulgarity shown toward me FIRST. now tell THEM to keep it respectful. you won't though because yall aint nothin but children.
Ok now I don't care if you reply to the answers you receive in here but I will ask you once to remain respectful, the name calling is unnecessary, and that goes to anyone else who has replied in this thread. You received sensible answers but chose to ignore them and maintain your stance because it was NOT in keeping with your own view point.
If you maintain relations with your children who are not living in your household I give you props and respect for that. However, as has already been said in here. If your ex has chosen to move on and is with someone who has love for your children and has respect for you as their father why would it be an issue if the children are placed first.
Is the issue only regarding discipline? That I can comprehend to an extent but he is still an authority figure. And in his home there should have already been communication regarding the children. Logically speaking that would be the sensible thing. To expect that a man who has chosen to deal with a woman with children should not have ANY part in the rearing of these children is ridiculous.
Peace
And again let me remind you all to keep the name calling to a minimum.
yes but you can cuss me out all day huh? keep in mind i was RESPONDING to vulgarity shown toward me FIRST. now tell THEM to keep it respectful. you won't though because yall aint nothin but children.
You missing the point and being sensitive to the issue. A step father will fill the void when you are not around. A good step father would treat your kid as if the child was his own. You are not in the same household so you can't be there all the time. A real step father will respect you and how you choose to raise your child and as a man you should respect him for taking your child into his home and providing the support when it is impossible for your to be there because you are no longer with that woman.they shouldn't be callin another man "DADDY"
and no i don't want anyone ignoring my kids, i just don't want him actin like he's their father. that level of involvement is not necessary as long as i'm breathing and walking.
You missing the point and being sensitive to the issue. A step father will fill the void when you are not around. A good step father would treat your kid as if the child was his own. You are not in the same household so you can't be there all the time. A real step father will respect you and how you choose to raise your child and as a man you should respect him for taking your child into his home and providing the support when it is impossible for your to be there because you are no longer with that woman.
If you are worried about your kids calling another man dad then honestly you are not handling your business the way you should. Ultimately you should respect the man for taking your child into his house and loving the child as if it was his own. The step father should respect you as the father of the children. Kids are not dumb they will know who there real father is that will never be questioned if you are doing the things you should be.
You missing the point and being sensitive to the issue. A step father will fill the void when you are not around. A good step father would treat your kid as if the child was his own. You are not in the same household so you can't be there all the time. A real step father will respect you and how you choose to raise your child and as a man you should respect him for taking your child into his home and providing the support when it is impossible for your to be there because you are no longer with that woman.
If you are worried about your kids calling another man dad then honestly you are not handling your business the way you should. Ultimately you should respect the man for taking your child into his house and loving the child as if it was his own. The step father should respect you as the father of the children. Kids are not dumb they will know who there real father is that will never be questioned if you are doing the things you should be.
Co-sign. But I disagree with respecting him part kinda sorta....my baby mama's new boyfriend is a moocher off of her and I hate my daughter being around that environment. So he gets no respect. But there is nothing I can do about it. IMO, just hold it down the best way you can and hope for the best. Once your kid gets older, he will make more sound judgments on things and you will just have to live with it. He'll know who Daddy is.