If the real father is on the ball, what is the stepdad's role?

[So What?]

Never use that sperm donor line unless you are comfortable with being labeled a sperm depository.

Thats a good line! I will have to borrow that.

I have seen situations where mothers have forced there kids to call the step-father Dad just to spite the biological. This is a very sensitive subject and will always be awkward for the involved biological father

 

[shclep70]

ok here we go,

First of all i am a stepdad. My daughter's biological father comes by every now and then to '' play '' the daddy role. Yes she calls him daddy and she calls me the same (odd but some how we keep it straight we always knows who she's talking to). i've been raising her since she was 2 yrs old, she's 7 now.

I am more of a father to her than he could ever be. This is in no way any disrespect to him. He does what he's suppposed to do.( pay his child support and spend time with his child). Look at it like this. Who's getting her up everymorning for school? Who's there when she falls down and needs a shoulder to cry on? who's there in the middle of the night when she has a bad dream and cannot get to sleep? Who taught her how to ride a bike? How to swim?

You see fatherhood and Daddy are titles that are earned, not given or forced upon. I read quite a few fellas on here getting irate about their child calling another man daddy. Saying what they would do in another man's house hold because they feel disrespected. Remeber this man is everybit and in some cases more of a man than you. How do you think he would react or better yet how does the bickering help your daughter? This man is holding down fort where you could not, cannot, or would not.

When i married my wife i went to my daughter's father and talked to him man to man. I told him i would raise her as my own and i fully expected him to be a part of her life. I read earlier that somebody said what they would do if the step spanked his child. I laughed. Yo kat, you gotta look at the big pic. 1) did your child deserve it? 2) was he abusive or excessive? 3) what is the alternitive? what kind of person would she be if she didn't get the dicipline she needed when she deserved it.

Bottom line it's all about maturity. When she has 2 mature fathers in her life and a good mom she is fully maxed out with the best of both worlds. She is less likey to date a thug because she has 2 good examples of what a real man is. Man just love your child the best you can from where ever you stand (step dad or not). And focus on what's best for the child. Please put your ego aside. The chlid has no use or need for it.

 

[destrehan]

ok here we go,

I am more of a father to her than he could ever be. This is in no way any disrespect to him. He does what he's suppposed to do.( pay his child support and spend time with his child). Look at it like this. Who's getting her up everymorning for school? Who's there when she falls down and needs a shoulder to cry on? who's there in the middle of the night when she has a bad dream and cannot get to sleep? Who taught her how to ride a bike? How to swim?
.

i gotta get back with my baby mama

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

i gotta get back with my baby mama

You would get back with her,just so your daughter wouldn't have another man around her? Do you and the child's mother get along enough to make that work?

 

[destrehan]

ok here we go,

First of all i am a stepdad. My daughter's biological father comes by every now and then to '' play '' the daddy role. Yes she calls him daddy and she calls me the same (odd but some how we keep it straight we always knows who she's talking to). i've been raising her since she was 2 yrs old, she's 7 now.

I am more of a father to her than he could ever be. This is in no way any disrespect to him. He does what he's suppposed to do.( pay his child support and spend time with his child). Look at it like this. Who's getting her up everymorning for school? Who's there when she falls down and needs a shoulder to cry on? who's there in the middle of the night when she has a bad dream and cannot get to sleep? Who taught her how to ride a bike? How to swim?

You see fatherhood and Daddy are titles that are earned, not given or forced upon. I read quite a few fellas on here getting irate about their child calling another man daddy. Saying what they would do in another man's house hold because they feel disrespected. Remeber this man is everybit and in some cases more of a man than you. How do you think he would react or better yet how does the bickering help your daughter? This man is holding down fort where you could not, cannot, or would not.

When i married my wife i went to my daughter's father and talked to him man to man. I told him i would raise her as my own and i fully expected him to be a part of her life. I read earlier that somebody said what they would do if the step spanked his child. I laughed. Yo kat, you gotta look at the big pic. 1) did your child deserve it? 2) was he abusive or excessive? 3) what is the alternitive? what kind of person would she be if she didn't get the dicipline she needed when she deserved it.

Bottom line it's all about maturity. When she has 2 mature fathers in her life and a good mom she is fully maxed out with the best of both worlds. She is less likey to date a thug because she has 2 good examples of what a real man is. Man just love your child the best you can from where ever you stand (step dad or not). And focus on what's best for the child. Please put your ego aside. The chlid has no use or need for it.

so he comes to your house to see his daughter or he comes and picks her up? how often? how far does he live? why do you sound mad condescending towards the dude? you said he comes by to "play" daddy.

 

[absolutvodka]

fuck taking care of other niggas kids.......you won't get any compensation for that shit.

 

[Alumni]

I OVERstand your question....and the reason you are not satisfied with the responses is because you should not be askin it to women. It is NOT their place or position to dictate or state how a MAN should be a MAN. It's not about being a "dad" or a "stepdad"....it's about being a MAN. Now my $.02 on your question...I am happilly divorced with 2(boy)children. I am absolutely "on the ball". Any man coming into my X wifes life only real role is to focus on his relationship with her and be another good male example to my children. He has absolutely NO disciplinary authority(that is for my x wife and I). If there is a situation that requires more discipline than she can handle...CALL ME AND PUT THE CHILD/CHILDREN ON THE PHONE!! That is how on the ball I am. He is NOT and will NOT ever be addressed as a stepdad(unless I die). He is the ****** that is now fucking their mother and that is what is "role" is so that biyatch is happy and leaves me the fuck alone. And yes only 40+ posts and I have an opinion

Ain't no way in hell a kid is living in my house and I'm going to be scared to discipline when needed. You follow the rules that we (mother and I) make or you get dealt with accordingly. If the bio father wants to come and add some additional discipline then fine, but the thought of me standing around while the kid is wild'n out waiting for the bio father to show up to do something is laughable to me. What kind of simp does that make me look like to the child? I just can't see it

They're not answering the question. They keep delving off into their own experiences.

He said IF THE FATHER IS DOING HIS JOB...

I say just be a positive male role model and be cool with the bio. The step should run his household and be a disciplinarian but make a point to include the dad in important decisions.

I'm not saying they have to be boys, but have enough understanding that they will both do what's in the best interest of the child and don't allow the child to play both sides against the middle. If I was a step and the father was a positive and active influence I wouldn't want him to call me Dad.

Co-sign

ok here we go,

First of all i am a stepdad. My daughter's biological father comes by every now and then to '' play '' the daddy role. Yes she calls him daddy and she calls me the same (odd but some how we keep it straight we always knows who she's talking to). i've been raising her since she was 2 yrs old, she's 7 now.

I am more of a father to her than he could ever be. This is in no way any disrespect to him. He does what he's suppposed to do.( pay his child support and spend time with his child). Look at it like this. Who's getting her up everymorning for school? Who's there when she falls down and needs a shoulder to cry on? who's there in the middle of the night when she has a bad dream and cannot get to sleep? Who taught her how to ride a bike? How to swim?

You see fatherhood and Daddy are titles that are earned, not given or forced upon. I read quite a few fellas on here getting irate about their child calling another man daddy. Saying what they would do in another man's house hold because they feel disrespected. Remeber this man is everybit and in some cases more of a man than you. How do you think he would react or better yet how does the bickering help your daughter? This man is holding down fort where you could not, cannot, or would not.

When i married my wife i went to my daughter's father and talked to him man to man. I told him i would raise her as my own and i fully expected him to be a part of her life. I read earlier that somebody said what they would do if the step spanked his child. I laughed. Yo kat, you gotta look at the big pic. 1) did your child deserve it? 2) was he abusive or excessive? 3) what is the alternitive? what kind of person would she be if she didn't get the dicipline she needed when she deserved it.

Bottom line it's all about maturity. When she has 2 mature fathers in her life and a good mom she is fully maxed out with the best of both worlds. She is less likey to date a thug because she has 2 good examples of what a real man is. Man just love your child the best you can from where ever you stand (step dad or not). And focus on what's best for the child. Please put your ego aside. The child has no use or need for it.

Great post!

 

[shclep70]

so he comes to your house to see his daughter or he comes and picks her up? how often? how far does he live? why do you sound mad condescending towards the dude? you said he comes by to "play" daddy.

sorry if i sound mad but i'm not. i say play because that's exactly what he does. (it is what it is) I was raised by my dad and 2 grandfathers. Therefore i understand the role thuroughly. He lives in town not far away and comes by to pick her up once every 2 months or so. No probem. Not trying to be disrespectful but IMOWhen you only role in your child life is to bring toys and gift every once in a while then you are ''playing'' daddy. Once again IMO my dad and granddads held down the house . One of my Granddads had a child outside his marriage scince he we not there he could only ''play'' dad. If i sound disrecpectful then i didn't mean to come off that way.

Try this analogy. A lot of us play basketball but the real ballers do it for a living. i hope that helps.

 

[MegaDell]

Why shouldn't the step dad be anything other than a father figure?

 

[destrehan]

sorry if i sound mad but i'm not. i say play because that's exactly what he does. (it is what it is) I was raised by my dad and 2 grandfathers. Therefore i understand the role thuroughly. He lives in town not far away and comes by to pick her up once every 2 months or so. No probem. Not trying to be disrespectful but IMOWhen you only role in your child life is to bring toys and gift every once in a while then you are ''playing'' daddy. Once again IMO my dad and granddads held down the house . One of my Granddads had a child outside his marriage scince he we not there he could only ''play'' dad. If i sound disrecpectful then i didn't mean to come off that way.

Try this analogy. A lot of us play basketball but the real ballers do it for a living. i hope that helps.

he only picks her up once every two months?? yea he wack. i already have my sons half the time, but they're not in school yet. she wants them at her house all week except weekends when they start. she's not in a relationship yet so she's like i can come over anytime during the week and see them, but she thinks it will be more stable if they sleep at just one of our places during the week. i know when she gets a man that it won't be like that as far as me just coming through during the week. i dunno...maybe i'll take them somewhere for dinner a couple times a week and have them every other weekend. for the people assuming this is my life right now it's not. i'm thinking ahead so i can handle it when it does happen.

 

[ladyscorpio]

sorry if i sound mad but i'm not. i say play because that's exactly what he does. (it is what it is) I was raised by my dad and 2 grandfathers. Therefore i understand the role thuroughly. He lives in town not far away and comes by to pick her up once every 2 months or so. No probem. Not trying to be disrespectful but IMOWhen you only role in your child life is to bring toys and gift every once in a while then you are ''playing'' daddy. Once again IMO my dad and granddads held down the house . One of my Granddads had a child outside his marriage scince he we not there he could only ''play'' dad. If i sound disrecpectful then i didn't mean to come off that way.

Try this analogy. A lot of us play basketball but the real ballers do it for a living. i hope that helps.

Thank you for you post bredren. Excellent insight. Peace

 

[onyxfemme]

ok here we go,

First of all i am a stepdad. My daughter's biological father comes by every now and then to '' play '' the daddy role. Yes she calls him daddy and she calls me the same (odd but some how we keep it straight we always knows who she's talking to). i've been raising her since she was 2 yrs old, she's 7 now.

I am more of a father to her than he could ever be. This is in no way any disrespect to him. He does what he's suppposed to do.( pay his child support and spend time with his child). Look at it like this. Who's getting her up everymorning for school? Who's there when she falls down and needs a shoulder to cry on? who's there in the middle of the night when she has a bad dream and cannot get to sleep? Who taught her how to ride a bike? How to swim?

You see fatherhood and Daddy are titles that are earned, not given or forced upon. I read quite a few fellas on here getting irate about their child calling another man daddy. Saying what they would do in another man's house hold because they feel disrespected. Remeber this man is everybit and in some cases more of a man than you. How do you think he would react or better yet how does the bickering help your daughter? This man is holding down fort where you could not, cannot, or would not.

When i married my wife i went to my daughter's father and talked to him man to man. I told him i would raise her as my own and i fully expected him to be a part of her life. I read earlier that somebody said what they would do if the step spanked his child. I laughed. Yo kat, you gotta look at the big pic. 1) did your child deserve it? 2) was he abusive or excessive? 3) what is the alternitive? what kind of person would she be if she didn't get the dicipline she needed when she deserved it.

Bottom line it's all about maturity. When she has 2 mature fathers in her life and a good mom she is fully maxed out with the best of both worlds. She is less likey to date a thug because she has 2 good examples of what a real man is. Man just love your child the best you can from where ever you stand (step dad or not). And focus on what's best for the child. Please put your ego aside. The chlid has no use or need for it.

And there it is

 

[Buttnaked]

A "woman's pov" is irrelevant as is a "man's". All that matters is what makes sense and there is no such thing as a stepfather. There is Father and there is Non-Father. You're either a father or you aren't.

I'M FEELING THAT...SAY WORD 2X!

 

[rNubb]

ok here we go,

First of all i am a stepdad. My daughter's biological father comes by every now and then to '' play '' the daddy role. Yes she calls him daddy and she calls me the same (odd but some how we keep it straight we always knows who she's talking to). i've been raising her since she was 2 yrs old, she's 7 now.

I am more of a father to her than he could ever be. This is in no way any disrespect to him. He does what he's suppposed to do.( pay his child support and spend time with his child). Look at it like this. Who's getting her up everymorning for school? Who's there when she falls down and needs a shoulder to cry on? who's there in the middle of the night when she has a bad dream and cannot get to sleep? Who taught her how to ride a bike? How to swim?

You see fatherhood and Daddy are titles that are earned, not given or forced upon. I read quite a few fellas on here getting irate about their child calling another man daddy. Saying what they would do in another man's house hold because they feel disrespected. Remeber this man is everybit and in some cases more of a man than you. How do you think he would react or better yet how does the bickering help your daughter? This man is holding down fort where you could not, cannot, or would not.

When i married my wife i went to my daughter's father and talked to him man to man. I told him i would raise her as my own and i fully expected him to be a part of her life. I read earlier that somebody said what they would do if the step spanked his child. I laughed. Yo kat, you gotta look at the big pic. 1) did your child deserve it? 2) was he abusive or excessive? 3) what is the alternitive? what kind of person would she be if she didn't get the dicipline she needed when she deserved it.

Bottom line it's all about maturity. When she has 2 mature fathers in her life and a good mom she is fully maxed out with the best of both worlds. She is less likey to date a thug because she has 2 good examples of what a real man is. Man just love your child the best you can from where ever you stand (step dad or not). And focus on what's best for the child. Please put your ego aside. The chlid has no use or need for it.

Your statements are quite disrespectful and inflammatory. You know this. I speculate that your wife and friends sold you on this notion that it is completely inconsequential that your are settled on replacing someone's parentage. You seem highly motivated to do it.

My brotha, he is not playing the daddy role. You are. Be a husband to your wife. Be an elder to that child. Encourage a father daughter relationship with the true relatives. You are not. And no can you be - a replacement to a parent.

You are ignoring the facts. We all have been taught to ignore the reality of our choices in life. That girl doesn't have a father. She has a man fucking her mother and contributing to your well being. Meanwhile, her father is living elsewhere and probably caring for someone else's child.

Grown folks make fucked up choices. Selfishly, they move on with their lives. Then the burden of their situation gets to kicking their ass so they make compromises with little regard for the other parties involved by recruiting a substitute - New man or New woman. A step parent is a bail out plan. It's a last resort not an everyday option. It shouldn't be taken casually.

I truly want that precious little girl to know that she doesn't have a father in her life as a father and everything else. I want this so she will know that it is not comfortable or satisfying. This will hopefully teach her to not deprive her future children of a 2 parent household.

When we replace fatherhood with sperm donor status then we ensure another lost generation of broken children.

Contrary to your statement, fatherhood is given. No one earns a baby. There is no test or license required. Fatherhood can't be earned.

I am sure you are a giving loving brotha. Your heart is in the right place. Your motivation is misdirected. Your words indicate that the father is not that fatherly. He probably doesn't know how. Teach him. Teach him. Teach him.

 

[destrehan]

Your statements are quite disrespectful and inflammatory. You know this. I speculate that your wife and friends sold you on this notion that it is completely inconsequential that your are settled on replacing someone's parentage. You seem highly motivated to do it.

My brotha, he is not playing the daddy role. You are. Be a husband to your wife. Be an elder to that child. Encourage a father daughter relationship with the true relatives. You are not. And no can you be - a replacement to a parent.

You are ignoring the facts. We all have been taught to ignore the reality of our choices in life. That girl doesn't have a father. She has a man fucking her mother and contributing to your well being. Meanwhile, her father is living elsewhere and probably caring for someone else's child.

Grown folks make fucked up choices. Selfishly, they move on with their lives. Then the burden of their situation gets to kicking their ass so they make compromises with little regard for the other parties involved by recruiting a substitute - New man or New woman. A step parent is a bail out plan. It's a last resort not an everyday option. It shouldn't be taken casually.

I truly want that precious little girl to know that she doesn't have a father in her life as a father and everything else. I want this so she will know that it is not comfortable or satisfying. This will hopefully teach her to not deprive her future children of a 2 parent household.

When we replace fatherhood with sperm donor status then we ensure another lost generation of broken children.

Contrary to your statement, fatherhood is given. No one earns a baby. There is no test or license required. Fatherhood can't be earned.

I am sure you are a giving loving brotha. Your heart is in the right place. Your motivation is misdirected. Your words indicate that the father is not that fatherly. He probably doesn't know how. Teach him. Teach him. Teach him.

and here it is. the responses in here really show the kind of women who are frequenting bgol. pathetic ones.

 

[ladyscorpio]

and here it is. the responses in here really show the kind of women who are frequenting bgol. pathetic ones.

You seem to be a sad person. Why is that? What motivates such disdain and hatred?
Does it make you feel good about yourself to pass judgement on the females who frequent the board?

 

[destrehan]

You seem to be a sad person. Why is that? What motivates such disdain and hatred?
Does it make you feel good about yourself to pass judgement on the females who frequent the board?

does it make you feel good to do the same? how about ignoring me? yea, do that.

 

[ladyscorpio]

does it make you feel good to do the same? how about ignoring me? yea, do that.

I choose not to ignore you. You made a post to get answers. Why can you not answer my simple ones? And where have I passed judgement sir? Please elaborate. Thank you.

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

and here it is. the responses in here really show the kind of women who are frequenting bgol. pathetic ones.

.You are a funny dude,you will not stop with the insults. I wish no ill will on you but the way you are talking shows your ignorance

 

[destrehan]

.You are a funny dude,you will not stop with the insults. I wish no ill will on you but the way you are talking shows your ignorance

nah, the women who showed callous disregard to the biological fathers are ignorant. couldn't even stick to the subject. nothing wrong me showing my disgust at the responses, if i asked for them or not.

 

[rNubb]

i gotta get back with my baby mama

I agree.

This is a healthy response to the situation. This is your better self challenging your selfishness.

You shouldn't want some other person caring for you child.

An unhealthy reaction would be to assume that someone else should fill your role.

You know your child is worth your attention. You know her mother is worth your support.

Get back there and make this shit right.

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

nah, the women who showed callous disregard to the biological fathers are ignorant. couldn't even stick to the subject. nothing wrong me showing my disgust at the responses, if i asked for them or not.

I didn't comment on showing your disgust for the comments,you have that right. But we have not called you out your name,yet you continue to do it which I don't understand. Personally, I would have asked this question on the male side. I think that the men would have been better able to answer the question because I am sure you are not the only one who thinks the way you do. Women can only offer limited advice because we do think and intepret things differently.That's all.

 

[destrehan]

I agree.

This is a healthy response to the situation. This is your better self challenging your selfishness.

You shouldn't want some other person caring for you child.

An unhealthy reaction would be to assume that someone else should fill your role.

You know your child is worth your attention. You know her mother is worth your support.

Get back there and make this shit right.

but what you don't know is that we've tried and tried but we just can't get it right. when she's really wanted to work it out, i wasn't trying to hear it. when i was, she wasn't. then we just tried a non-relationship living situation, and i couldn't take itfor more than 5 months. at this point it's healthier for all involved for us to be in seperate households. i am just dreading when she gets with a new man. i don't think it's realistic for us to get back together. she's 33 and i'm 27, and her clock is damn near up. she wants to get married yesterday.

 

[rNubb]

your role is to be a dad... whether biological or step dad... they are still your kids too. when you married the women you married her family too. if the kids respect you then you shouldn't have a problem. treat them the way you would treat them if they came from ur sperm

A new man or woman doesn't enter a household and become part of that family. The new spouse becomes part of the household. The new spouse enters into a committed relationship with only their spouse. The new spouse has an obligation to attempt to form a mutually satisfying relationship with all members of that household.

Children are not a willful part of the marriage/commitment arrangement because the children have no say in the matter. A child is not under any obligation to like, appreciate, welcome or to be a participant in this new arrangement.

Selfish parents always try to compel the children to accept the new circumstances. This is unfair and rather cruel of the adults. Our compassion is so compromised by our guilt that we try to put icing on shit and serve it like cake to our love ones.

 

[destrehan]

rnubb coming thru late in the 4th quarter droppin much needed perspective. thanks. respond to my last if you will.

 

[Mo-Better]

Destrehan, since your the real father and still "on the ball," all the stepdad has to do is focus on keeping the lady happy. Props to you still being a responsible dad doing your job as a parent. All the other guy should do is be supportive, be a friend and a postive influence. Anything more would be a negative.

 

[SEXY_SCORPIO]

Destrehan, if the real father is still "on the ball," all the stepdad has to do is keep the lady happy. Why confuse things? As a responsible dad he's doing his job. Your not the childs dad the childs dad is still there being a presence in the childs life. The child will never look at you as dad. What you can do is be supportive, be a friend and a postive influence.

You need to reread hun,he is the child's father he is asking about when his ex-girl either marries or gets with someone

 

[rNubb]

but what you don't know is that we've tried and tried but we just can't get it right. when she's really wanted to work it out, i wasn't trying to hear it. when i was, she wasn't. then we just tried a non-relationship living situation, and i couldn't take itfor more than 5 months. at this point it's healthier for all involved for us to be in seperate households. i am just dreading when she gets with a new man. i don't think it's realistic for us to get back together. she's 33 and i'm 27, and her clock is damn near up. she wants to get married yesterday.

Thus I stated, Selfish, about a 101 times. You both had your own aspirations throughout the course of this relationship. Of course, neither of you was considering the baby's best interest.

You knew you didn't want to marry that old chick. She was cool people and a good fuck buddy, but not a mate. She knew you were Mr Right Now and not Mr. Right For Her.

Now there is a lil black child that's a product of this.

Be hurt about it. You should be.

Be guilty. You should be.

Yall fucked up now yall need to do whatever you can to minimize the damage. Stay involved in her life. Stay as close as possible. Be and do your upmost. Keep her off the pole or him off the block.

Never ask a woman to do a man's job. When you ask a woman for advice, let her be an wise elder and not a peer.

 

[LoneStar29]

@the OP verbally asaulting the women who he asked for advice fromI mean ... I can see where some of them may have given opinions that even I didn't agree with but the hostility you are showing towards the women is soooooooooooooooooo weak of youespecially since the men whose opinions you disagree with you have still shown respect toAre you really that mad that none of us commented on your goatee pic

ANYWAYS

As far as your question goes I think the role the step dad plays depends on the role the real father plays ... for a man like you who says he is very much involved in his children's lives I think the step dad should just be there as a positive male role model for the children ... but he should love them as his own if he loves the mom of course meaning if they are in some trouble or need some sort of help and the parents aren't around he should help them out ... but I could never have my son calling another man daddy when his father is right there in his life ... but if the real father is not around at all then I guess I can see where the kids would call the step-dad daddy if he is the only father they have known ... just my 2 cents ... wether it's appreciated or not

And here comes my big fat "I need to go to the gym" sig so if you don't like it keep that to yourself please

 

[destrehan]

@the OP verbally asaulting the women who he asked for advice fromI mean ... I can see where some of them may have given opinions that even I didn't agree with but the hostility you are showing towards the women is soooooooooooooooooo weak of youespecially since the men whose opinions you disagree with you have still shown respect toAre you really that mad that none of us commented on your goatee pic

ANYWAYS

As far as your question goes I think the role the step dad plays depends on the role the real father plays ... for a man like you who says he is very much involved in his children's lives I think the step dad should just be there as a positive male role model for the children ... but he should love them as his own if he loves the mom of course meaning if they are in some trouble or need some sort of help and the parents aren't around he should help them out ... but I could never have my son calling another man daddy when his father is right there in his life ... but if the real father is not around at all then I guess I can see where the kids would call the step-dad daddy if he is the only father they have known ... just my 2 cents ... wether it's appreciated or not

And here comes my big fat "I need to go to the gym" sig so if you don't like it keep that to yourself please

yo seriously, why did you even bother to post? you come in here to chide me for my responses then you thinly mask it with another ludicrous response to the thread. to the blunt list you go mo'nique.

 

[LoneStar29]

yo seriously, why did you even bother to post? you come in here to chide me for my responses then you thinly mask it with another ludicrous response to the thread. to the blunt list you go mo'nique.

First of all ... you obviously don't know how to read cuz I supported alot of statements you made in my post ... or is it that I am a woman so you choose to over look what I sayNow I see why you are single

It's cool if you think I am fat ... cuz my phat ass has gotten alot more compliments than your bald-headed, goateed, biting your lips like you think you're sexy ass has gotten

Take your girl hating over to the next side please .. this place is only for women and STRAIGHT men

 

[Mo-Better]

You need to reread hun,he is the child's father he is asking about when his ex-girl either marries or gets with someone

Thanks for the correction Sexy Scorpio, someone sent me the link to the 4th page. I never looked back. I'll correct it.

But the same would apply to the other guy. The guys focus should be on the woman. He's not the father. The father is still on the scene, so the other guy must respect his position in the childs life. So the same guidelines should apply to any man entering into a ready made family.

 

[outlaw]

yo seriously, why did you even bother to post? you come in here to chide me for my responses then you thinly mask it with another ludicrous response to the thread. to the blunt list you go mo'nique.

does SOL have mods or what?

 

[ladyscorpio]

This is the last time I'm gonna say this regarding this thread. STOP WITH THE NAME CALLING. this means every one. Grow the hell up.


This thread had potential. Now its become

 

[SuchATease]

Destrehan, since your the real father and still "on the ball," all the stepdad has to do is focus on keeping the lady happy. Props to you still being a responsible dad doing your job as a parent. All the other guy should do is be supportive, be a friend and a postive influence. Anything more would be a negative.

I agree and she should continue to take matters involving them to you "when" she gets a boyfriend. Cause at the end of the day those are your kids 2.