I hate to say it but she more than likely got a side dude. You need to sit down with her and yall need to mutually decide on divorce together and then work out the co-parenting together so you can move on with your life and she can move on with hers.
Going through a Divorce
- Thread starter Eclipse99
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This
If you’re in a war it’s best you not try to negotiate with your enemy. She’s the enemy. Please act accordingly.
This isn’t post-partum — stop giving these women a way out.
You’re busy talking to someone who has no interest in the words you’re spewing. Bunker down.
You never really know these women.
This isn’t post-partum — stop giving these women a way out.
You’re busy talking to someone who has no interest in the words you’re spewing. Bunker down.
You never really know these women.
Run! Head for the Hills! Provide mental, physical, and financial support to your son, be there for him as much as you can but avoid any contact that may put you back in the Hot Seat again. Postpartum or not, its best you start fresh. You know what you got yourself into way before your son was born and you're trying to hold on to a dream. Let it go and take care of yours.
Agreed.
I mentioned earlier in this thread that this wasn’t “Postpartum” related. She been plotting to get rid of him for at least six months.
It’s best that he focus on a future with his son and not on a marriage with her.
This chick couldn’t get pregnant, they paid to get pregnant, only to have her cut his ass down before the baby could get a size 2 diapers.
Exactly...
Take feelings and morals out of it.
Its been in the plan he must understand mfs will play you like a fiddle. Her family will always take her side and be there for her that is why all the excuses are given.
you exactly summed up my thoughts here. especially the sperm donor part. she just wanted a baby. now she and her mother can play house and baby doll all day. she had a plan and executed it. as soon as she drops a baby she asks for a divorce? where do they do that at?
especially after in vitro. that shit isn't cheap and its a very complicated process. this chick is a user and unfortunately the OP got ensnared in her trap. and the mother is definitely helping to pull the strings.
and her mother knows that she has a side dude.
OP I feel for you bruh. Thank you for sharing your story. Focus on your son, always be there for him. He may not understand all this as a kid, but trust when he becomes a man he will. He will see your perspective.
Im with the other posters, your wife used you for a baby now she wants to live the "rogue" life. Lets keep it a buck, being a WIFE is not glamorous in our society anymore. This isnt uncommon on women switching up after the baby is born. Single moms are the sacred lambs of our community specifically, so your wife is gonna blend right in with her friends and family. I bet they all single moms too. You got women today who are wives that go to great lengths to downplay it on social media and such just to blend in. Theres no shame in her doing what shes doing abandoning you. Its unfortunate bro, but let go now. Its not gonna get better. Take this is a learning experience to vet women you are dealing with better.
Im with the other posters, your wife used you for a baby now she wants to live the "rogue" life. Lets keep it a buck, being a WIFE is not glamorous in our society anymore. This isnt uncommon on women switching up after the baby is born. Single moms are the sacred lambs of our community specifically, so your wife is gonna blend right in with her friends and family. I bet they all single moms too. You got women today who are wives that go to great lengths to downplay it on social media and such just to blend in. Theres no shame in her doing what shes doing abandoning you. Its unfortunate bro, but let go now. Its not gonna get better. Take this is a learning experience to vet women you are dealing with better.
Yeah, he was played. This guy keep talking to her like he legitimately can talk his way out of the con.
I wish him the best. But he ain’t listening to anything I have to say. My daughter was 11 before I found out my ex wife turned my children against me.
you got a good point, too many of these chicks live to fit in with their sisterhood crew which is cool,
but the same chicks would tell a dude to man up in a fuckin second, while their goofy ass still playin girlscout an having slumber parties they refer to as sleep overs...
I aint gonna put no chick first that aint puttin me first...
and many of these chicks act like they puttin you first but they really just want to hang around their chicks and use you as a prop...
my dudes need to travel more, when you see the difference in women overseas, its a fuckin game changer.....
best of luck to you fam. not knowing when yall communication broke down and if yall was having healthy sex, i'm gonna go against the majority somewhat just based on our communities and black people as a whole we need the black family to thrive. certainly not saying that can't be done in other ways. now on you all relationship......handle your business.. you say her mother is strong in her life...if you love her and wanna be with her, tell her you love her but you ain't gonna take no shit off of her or her mother....not anymore . talk, fuss just don't get violent. too many of our relationships are just wash rinse and repeat , tell these females what she doing wrong and what you need from her. yall get divorced she on to the next dude ain't learned a dam thing and doing the same shit just another fucked up relationship. try to get as much as you can out in the open it will be good for both of you....ask her is she seeing anybody else? what her and her momma gonna do? what are their plans? make her think , laugh... cry. notice i haven't mentioned your son. truth be told as long as you two are in a healthy place he'll be fine.
She wants a divorce, no amout of talking or rationalizing with her is going to work. They have issues and she’s mentally checked out.
What you’re saying sounds good on paper, but in this situation it doesn’t apply.
A side dude that probably ain't shit either.
Sounds like you fell for the trap. It's actually good that you put this out there. 31 is not a child, that s a full grown woman that knew what she was doing. Take the gloves off and knuckle up for this one. These chicks out here on some real bullshit and have no problem putting a good man and their kids through some bullshit. Don't let her bring you down, focus on yourself and play dirty if you have to. Get all the dirt you can on her this way you have a fighting chance. Leave a voice activated recorder in the house and get the real skinny on what's going on. She probably having full blown convos on the real issue while you are not home. Once you find out don't show her the evidence just use it to build your case. Keep ya head up!
Listen to this man....
Recording someone without their perMission is very illegal.
He already knows in his heart what needs to be done. He's just trying to talk his way out of it because he understands the gravity of where this is going to go. It's obvious in the evidence he's put forth that he knows what needs to be done. I got faith that he'll make the right choice. The hard choice but in the end it will be the best choice for his son and his peace of mind and his pockets.
The evidence should only be for individual use only. The minute he goes in with transcripts is the minute he loses his custodial fight, and more importantly, picks up a felony charge.
We should know how he’s thinking. We need to provide a safe space for him, not get him deeper into stuff.
I had a computer in 95. I never turned out to be a software engineer.
We may have the tools, but we may not have the passion/will to utilize it.
In the end that doesn’t matter. She could be sucking the dick of a squirrel that shouldn’t have anything to do with him.
He needs to look at his situation as this: he got out of the market on a high. The bottom hasn’t happened yet. This is like that October when McCain said the fundamentals of the market were still sound. You see how that turned out for him?
He needs to look at his situation as this: he got out of the market on a high. The bottom hasn’t happened yet. This is like that October when McCain said the fundamentals of the market were still sound. You see how that turned out for him?
Check it, a bunch of dudes in this thread are really stressing this whole "side dude" narrative. I'd bet my bottom dollar "the next nigga" ain't the catalyst for all this divorce talk. This chick has been pregnant for probably the last 38 weeks. Their son is 10 days old, she ain't giving up no pum-pum for the next couple of weeks. Y'all really think she's been letting the next dude smash throughout her pregnancy? The foulness of this chick would be on legendary status. Furthermore side dudes just want the ass, he ain't really trying to be with no chick with a newborn like that. Shit he'd discourage her from leaving the husband, let him deal with the headache.
Dude's wife's problem is she's one of these chicks who looks at dudes as being disposable. She wants to fight him for the steering wheel every step of the way. CONTROL is the name of her game. Wild part is 12/13 years from now she'll be begging dude to take his son. When their son grows up and he ain't all cute and cuddly she'll grow to resent him like she resents most males in her life.
Despite popular opinion dude may have a real shot at joint custody. If his paper is long enough and he can make himself into a sympathetic figure he might have a decent case. The shit she's trying to pull is so egregious a court may really scrutinize her actions. What kind of mother wants to get divorced so soon after the birth of her child. That in vitro process is expensive and time consuming. You can have a bunch of false starts and frustrations. What she's putting this poor guy through is borderline torture.
Dude's wife's problem is she's one of these chicks who looks at dudes as being disposable. She wants to fight him for the steering wheel every step of the way. CONTROL is the name of her game. Wild part is 12/13 years from now she'll be begging dude to take his son. When their son grows up and he ain't all cute and cuddly she'll grow to resent him like she resents most males in her life.
Despite popular opinion dude may have a real shot at joint custody. If his paper is long enough and he can make himself into a sympathetic figure he might have a decent case. The shit she's trying to pull is so egregious a court may really scrutinize her actions. What kind of mother wants to get divorced so soon after the birth of her child. That in vitro process is expensive and time consuming. You can have a bunch of false starts and frustrations. What she's putting this poor guy through is borderline torture.
Man thanks fellas for all the insight and wisdom.
Ive been thinking and talking with my lawyer, theres really 2 scenarios that I can do in this manner. Either go full out war in where we both higher lawyers and take it to court or I play it cool for now and we do no contest divorce.
War scenario:
I really dont want to go this route unless I absolutely have to. This will be the most expensive & plus my chance of getting full custody is slim to none, because of my son being a newborn. According to my lawyer, in my county, they favor highly to the mother in custody cases so based on that, going full blown may not be a good option. Besides, we've only been married less than 2 years so we dont have hardly any assets together. She doesnt want the house (she couldnt get it anyway since I bought it before we were married. Shes only entitled to the equity that it built during the years we were married). Also, to really win in the a "war" I would need to have some type of proof of my ability as a provider to my son. I just cant show that now because of the situation, which leads to my next point
Playing it cool:
My wife and I are actually talking. She wants a no-contest divorce and willing to have joint custody. My strategy (thinking as of now) is to go through with it and be the best father I can be and when my son becomes school aged, then go for 50/50 custody or full. To her credit, she doesnt want a whole lot in form of assets or child support. Shes not acting like a bitch in those two categories. My lawyer said we can revisit custody situations in 2 years, this should give me ample time to build my case.
All in all, I just want my peace of mind & to be there for my son. Its unfortunate for us men that a women can just leave & youre stuck in a situation like this, when the laws are not really in your favor. I think this can work out for me. It may not be ideal but it may be my best option for now.
Ps: in regard to her having a side dude. I really dont give a fuck about that. I doubt if she did but if thats the case then Ill actually buy that nigga a drink lol.. but on the real I cant worry about some side nigga. Im just concerned for my son.
Ive been thinking and talking with my lawyer, theres really 2 scenarios that I can do in this manner. Either go full out war in where we both higher lawyers and take it to court or I play it cool for now and we do no contest divorce.
War scenario:
I really dont want to go this route unless I absolutely have to. This will be the most expensive & plus my chance of getting full custody is slim to none, because of my son being a newborn. According to my lawyer, in my county, they favor highly to the mother in custody cases so based on that, going full blown may not be a good option. Besides, we've only been married less than 2 years so we dont have hardly any assets together. She doesnt want the house (she couldnt get it anyway since I bought it before we were married. Shes only entitled to the equity that it built during the years we were married). Also, to really win in the a "war" I would need to have some type of proof of my ability as a provider to my son. I just cant show that now because of the situation, which leads to my next point
Playing it cool:
My wife and I are actually talking. She wants a no-contest divorce and willing to have joint custody. My strategy (thinking as of now) is to go through with it and be the best father I can be and when my son becomes school aged, then go for 50/50 custody or full. To her credit, she doesnt want a whole lot in form of assets or child support. Shes not acting like a bitch in those two categories. My lawyer said we can revisit custody situations in 2 years, this should give me ample time to build my case.
All in all, I just want my peace of mind & to be there for my son. Its unfortunate for us men that a women can just leave & youre stuck in a situation like this, when the laws are not really in your favor. I think this can work out for me. It may not be ideal but it may be my best option for now.
Ps: in regard to her having a side dude. I really dont give a fuck about that. I doubt if she did but if thats the case then Ill actually buy that nigga a drink lol.. but on the real I cant worry about some side nigga. Im just concerned for my son.
You will be happiest man on the planet once the divorce is finalized. I've been through it. I have lived the best years of my life since I good rid of that crazy bitch. 95% of black women are not marriage material. From weave, reality tv, white jesus, tyler perry, shows like scandal, and the demonizing of the black man by the media, black woman have no idea how to respect us. We are simply baby makers, financiers, and dick givers at this point. Sadly, even that is starting to fade as well. Despite this, don't ever fuck with white bitches and take great care of your child and don't turn your child against black women.
Sounds like you have a good idea on what to do, I'd "Play it Cool" too if I was in that situation. Keep in mind, just because it's "Cool" now doesn't mean she can't switch up in the future.
Also, if you can provide video of your wife like this
while holding the baby, get the "Full Custody" out of your head.
It ain't happening.
I know plenty of hoes who let me fuck while they were pregnant...some married but all had dudes. Thats how it goes down...at one point thats all I wanted was pregnant pussy cause i could bust in them and never had to worry.
Pregnant women are the horny 24/7 and they are easy
The tapes are surely inadmissible, that’s why I said don’t show her the tapes. She set him up to knock her up so, she took the gloves off a long time ago, he needs every edge in his corner.
The minute he heard something spicy he’s running back and confronting her. I know because I did it my damn self. I had video and audio recordings of her.
you wasn't following the plan ....
word...this nigga in here crying about his 10 day old son when there’s a lifetime of new pussy ahead of him
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