Funny

[Lick]

Confucius Say
Tears are the hydraulic force by which masculine will power is defeated by feminine water power.

Confucius Say
Heat must travel faster than cold because, it is easy to catch a cold.

Confucius Say
If men had breasts, they would wear off the pockets of their shirts.

Confucius Say
Deaf people have phone sex by fax.

Confucius Say
A "smart ass" is someone who can sit on an ice cream cone and tell you what flavor it is

Confucius Say
Viagra is like Disneyland... a one hour wait for a 2-minute ride.

Confucius Say
It is much better to want the mate you do not have than to have the mate you do not want.

Confucius Say
Man who pamper his cow, will get spoiled milk

Confucius Say
"Never cut the rope that can be simply untied."

Confucius Say
If you do not wish to get to the point, never play leap frog with a unicorn.

 

[TEN]

A very good friend was recently diagnosed mute. I thought what the fuck, he kept that shit quiet!




sent via ya girls crib using tapatalk

 

[Lick]

SEX AFTER SURGERY?

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after an operation.

She was awake, so he examined her.

"You'll be fine," he said.

She asked, "How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?"



The surgeon seemed to pause, which alarmed the girl.

"What's the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"

He replied, "Yes, you'll be fine. It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."



Hmmmm...............my kind of woman!!​

 

[Lick]

 

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An atheist was walking through the woods.

'What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!’
He said to himself.

As he was walking alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him.
He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charge towards him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the

bear was closing in on him. He looked over his shoulder again and the bear was even

closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw

that the bear was right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising

his right paw to strike him.

At that instant the atheist cried out, “Oh my God!”

Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky.
“You deny my existence for all these years, teach others I don't exist

and even credit creation to cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help

you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?”

The atheist looked directly into the light, “It would be hypocritical of

me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps you

could make the bear a Christian?”

“Very well,” said the voice.

The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed. And the bear dropped

his right paw, brought both paws together, bowed his head and spoke:

​

“For what I am about to receive Lord, I am truly thankful, Amen.” ​

 

[creepin]

 

[Lick]

Nurses aren't supposed to laugh...


"Of course I won't laugh," said the nurse.
"I'm a professional. In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient."


"Okay then," said Bob, and he proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest male part the nurse had ever seen. In length and width was almost identical to a AAA battery.


Unable to control herself, the nurse tried to stop a giggle, but it just came out. And then she started laughing at the fact that she was laughing.


Feeling very badly that she had laughed at the man's part, she composed herself as well as she could.
"I am so sorry," she said..
"I don't know what came over me. On my honor as a nurse and a lady, I promise that won't happen again. Now, tell me, what seems to be the problem?"


"It's swollen," Bob replied.


She ran out of the room.

 

[Lick]

The Importance of Walking .... !!





Walking can add minutes to your life.
This enables you at 85 years old
to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing
home at $7000 per month.

My grandpa started walking
five miles a day when he was 60.
Now he's 97 years old
and we don't know where he is.

I like long walks,
especially when they are taken
by people who annoy me.

The only reason I would take up walking
is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.



I have to walk early in the morning,
before my brain figures out what I'm doing.

I joined a health club last year,
spent about 400 bucks.
Haven't lost a pound.
Apparently you have to go there.

Every time I hear the dirty word 'exercise',
I wash my mouth out with chocolate.



I do have flabby thighs,
but fortunately my stomach covers them.

The advantage of exercising every day
is so when you die, they'll say,
'Well, she looks good doesn't she.'

If you are going to try cross-country skiing,
start with a small country.



I know I got a lot of exercise
the last few years......
just getting over the hill.



We all get heavier as we get older,
because there's a lot more information in our heads.
That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

AND

Every time I start thinking too much
about how I look,
I just find a Happy Hour
and by the time I leave,
I look just fine.

 

[Lick]

Confucius Say
The difference between roast beef and pea soup is that anyone can roast beef.

Confucius Say
A fool and his money are soon partners.

Confucius Say
All's fear in love and war.

Confucius Say
Sex is like a Ford Explorer. Going too fast may cause a roll-over injury

Confucius Say
"Ulcers aren't the result of what you eat. You get ulcers from what's eating you."

Confucius Say
Adults are just wrinkled kids who owe money.

Confucius Say
Newscaster who reports hurricanes, knows how to talk up a storm.

Confucius Say
Man who was a dude before marriage, is now subdued.

Confucius Say
When you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

Confucius Say
A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don't get it.

 

[Lick]

Confucius Say
The difference between roast beef and pea soup is that anyone can roast beef.

Confucius Say
A fool and his money are soon partners.

Confucius Say
All's fear in love and war.

Confucius Say
Sex is like a Ford Explorer. Going too fast may cause a roll-over injury

Confucius Say
"Ulcers aren't the result of what you eat. You get ulcers from what's eating you."

Confucius Say
Adults are just wrinkled kids who owe money.

Confucius Say
Newscaster who reports hurricanes, knows how to talk up a storm.

Confucius Say
Man who was a dude before marriage, is now subdued.

Confucius Say
When you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

Confucius Say
A joke is like sex. Neither is any good if you don't get it.

 

[HollaBack]

nice

 

[Lick]

A girl invites her boyfriend over for dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner she wants to have sex with him for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but nervous because he's a virgin. He goes to the pharmacy to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist his situation and asks for advice. The pharmacist tells him everything there is to know about sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack or a 10-pack. The boy says he feels lucky and insists on the 10-pack.

That night, the boy shows up for dinner a little late. His girlfriend meets him at the door leads him straight to the dinner table where her parents are already seated. The boy sits down, quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still silent with his head down. Five minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 10 minutes, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boy, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."

 

[Lick]

Confucius Say
Woman who fall in love with elevator operator, usually get the shaft.

Confucius Say
The only animal with an asshole in the middle of its back, is a police horse.

Confucius Say
An optimist is a man who hasn't had many experiences yet.

Confucius Say
The tongue must be heavy indeed, because so few people can hold it.

Confucius Say
To ignore the facts, does not change the facts.

Confucius Say
Woman who dates gambler, gets cheated on.

Confucius Say
Girl who go on fishing trip with 6 men, come back with red snapper.

Confucius Say
A woman will be "Queen of the sewers", if she has accessible manhole.

Confucius Say
If a soda can goes to college, it will take "fizz ed".

Confucius Say
Prisoner who paints in jail, will have brush with the law.

 

[Lick]

Confucius Say
Men are like fish... neither would get in trouble if they kept their mouths shut.

Confucius Say
Geometry teacher who loses parrot, will have polygon.

Confucius Say
Woman who dates trash collector, will get dumped.

Confucius Say
Company who make women's vibrators is called, Genital Electric.

Confucius Say
Sperm sample from Nobel Prize winner is called, 'Stroke of Genius'.

Confucius Say
If all women's lib activists were laid end to end, it would be the best thing for them.

Confucius Say
Independent porno movie producers should form new company called, 20th Century-Fux

Confucius Say
Nurse who goes missing at beach, can be found under the doc.

Confucius Say
Gay Austrailian man will leave his wife and return to Sydney.

Confucius Say
Man who try doggie style sex, won't want to face his wife again.

 

[Lick]

In a Biology class, the professor was discussing the high glucose levels found in semen which gives the sperm all the energy for their journey.

A female freshman raised her hand and asked, “If I understand you correctly, you’re saying there is a lot of glucose, as in sugar, in semen?”

“That’s correct”, responded the professor, going onto to add statistical info.

Raising her hand again, she asked, “Then why doesn’t it taste sweet?”

After a stunned silence, the whole class burst out laughing. The poor girl’s face turned bright red, and as she realized exactly what she had inadvertently said (or rather implied), she picked up her books without a word and walked out of the class, never to return.

However, as she was going out of the door, the professor’s reply was classic. Totally straight-faced he answered her question.

“It doesn’t taste sweet because the taste buds for sweetness are on the tip of your tongue and not the back of your throat.

Have a good day!”

​

 

[Lick]

This is the story of the blonde flying in a two-seater airplane with just the pilot.
He has a heart attack and dies.
She, frantic, calls out a May Day.
"May Day! May Day! Help me! Help me! My pilot had a heart attack and is dead.
And I don't know how to fly. Help me! Please help me!"

She hears a voice over the radio saying:
"This is Air Traffic Control and I have you loud and clear. I will talk you through this and
Get you back on the ground. I've had a lot of experience with this kind of problem.
'Now, just take a deep breath. Everything will be fine! Now give me your height and position."

She says, "I'm 5'4" and I'm in the front seat and I am a democrat."

"O.K." says the voice on the radio.... "Repeat after me: Our Father. . Who art in Heaven. . . .."

 

[Lick]

BAD HUMOR

Little Johnny Reads Shakespeare

Little Johnny was at the mall with his mother when a man came walking toward them. Little Johnny hopped up and down, laughed, pointed, and screamed, "Mommy! Look at that bowlegged man!" His mother was so embarrassed. "John, your manners are atrocious! You need some culture, young man!". For the next month Little Johnny was forced to read Shakespeare every night. When his detention was finally over, she again took him to the same mall and sure enough, the same bowlegged man came walking toward them. Had Little Johnny learned anything from the great bard? Yes. This time, as the man approached, Little Johnny cried out, "Hark! What manner of man is this me sees, who wears his balls in parentheses?"











Blonde Joke No. 169

A blonde bought a new car and took her brunette friend for a ride. Suddenly, another car pulled out right in front of them. The blonde bent down and put her lips to the steering wheel. "The frightened brunette yelled, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" The blonde calmly replied, "Blowing the horn."

 

[Lick]

After only a few short weeks of stem cell research, they finally get it right.....





























wait for it...

 

[Lick]

d: Check my balls
Are My Testicles Black?



A male patient is lying in bed in the hospital, wearing an oxygen mask over his
mouth and nose. A young student nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath.

"Nurse,"' he mumbles from behind the mask, "are my testicles black?"

Embarrassed, the young nurse replies, "I don't know, Sir. I'm only here to wash your upper body and feet."

He struggles to ask again, "Nurse, please check for me. Are my testicles black?"

Concerned that he might elevate his blood pressure and heart rate from worrying about his testicles, she overcomes her
embarrassment and pulls back the covers.

She raises his gown, holds his manhood in one hand and his testicles in the other..

She looks very closely and says, "There's nothing wrong with them, Sir. They look fine."

The man slowly pulls off his oxygen mask, smiles at her, and says very slowly,
"Thank you very much. That was wonderful. Now listen very, very closely:
Are - my - test - results - back?"

 

[Lick]

A father, son and grandson go out to the country club for their weekly round of golf.
Just as they reach the first tee, a beautiful young blonde woman carrying her bag of clubs approaches them. She explains that the member who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency which called him away and asks the trio whether she can join them.






Naturally, the guys all agree.
Smiling, the blonde thanks them and says, "Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you wants to smoke cigars, have a beer, bet, swear or tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together, go ahead.
But I enjoy playing golf, consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play my shots."

With that the guys agree to relax and invite her to drive first. All eyes are fastened on her shapely behind as she bends to place her ball on the tee. She then takes her driver and hits the ball 270 yards down the middle, right in front of the green.
The father's mouth is agape.





"That was beautiful," said the dad. The blonde puts her driver away
and says, "I really didn't get into it and I should have faded it a
little."

After the three guys hit their drives and their second shots (she
was closest to the pin) the blonde takes out a nine iron and lofts
the ball within five feet of the hole.

The son says "damn, lady, you played that perfectly."

The blonde frowns and says, "it was a little weak. I've left a
tricky little putt." After the son buries a long putt for a par, dad
two putts for a bogey and granddad overruns the green with his
pitching wedge, chips back and putts for a double bogey, the blonde
taps in the five-footer for a birdie.



The guys all congratulate her on her fine game. She puts her putter
back in the bag and says, "Thanks, but I really haven't played much
lately, and I'm a little rusty. "Maybe I'll really get into this next
drive."



Having the honors, she drives first on the second hole and knocks
the hell out of the ball, and it lands nearly 300 yards away smack in
the middle of the fairway. For the rest of the round the statuesque
blonde continues to amaze the guys, quietly and methodically shooting
for par or less on every hole.

When they get to the 18th green, the blonde is three under par, but
has a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par. She
turns to the three guys and says, "I really want to thank you all for
not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to
use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd
really like to break 70 on this course. If any one of you can tell me
how to make par on this hole, I'll take him back to my apartment,
pour some 25-year old Royal Salute Scotch in him, fix him dinner and
then show him a good time the rest of the night."




The yuppie son jumps at the thought. He strolls across the green,
carefully eyes the line of the putt and finally says, "Honey, aim
about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get
over that little hump and break right into the cup."

The father kneels down and sights the putt using his putter as a
plumb. "Don't listen to the kid, darlin', you want to hit it softly
10 inches to the right and run it left down that little hogback, so
it falls into the cup."

The old gray haired grandfather walks over to the blonde's ball on
the green, picks it up and hands it to the her. "That's a gimme,
sweetheart. Your car or mine?"

 

[Lick]

How do YOU pronounce Oklahoma ?
Do you think it's correct?

There is a right way and a wrong way to pronounce Oklahoma .

If you say OK...LAHOMA
You're WRONG!!!!!

The proper way is:
OKLA ...HOMA

There's a gap between the 'a' and the 'h'.

I can prove it.....................

















keep going...

There, you learned something today!

I do love these educational posts....

Don't you?

 

[Lick]

Confucius Say
Student who study history, will find there is no future in it.

Confucius Say
Man who work all day for a pool maintenance company, will feel drained.

Confucius Say
Epileptic lettuce farmer makes "Seizure Salad".

Confucius Say
If the washroom upstairs is occupied, there is a hypotenuse.

Confucius Say
The only one whose troubles are behind him, is a school bus driver.

Confucius Say
Just because men have one, doesn't mean they have to be one.

Confucius Say
The supermarket is where you spend 30 minutes hunting for instant coffee.

Confucius Say
Alarm clock is something that makes people rise and whine.

Confucius Say
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.

Confucius Say
Argument between pharmacist and a patient is called a pill owe fight

 

[Lick]

A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door. She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.

He asks the lady, 'Do you have a vagina?'

She slams the door in disgust.

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman, 'Do you have a vagina?'

She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.

The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice
'Honey, I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again.'

The next morning they hear a knock and both run for the door.

The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice, 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where the bastard is going with it.'

She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.
Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question; 'Do you have vagina'?

'Yes, actually I have,' she says.

The man replies..

'Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours?'

 

[Lick]

Black Panties

Anna had lost her husband almost four years ago.
Her daughter was constantly calling her and
urging her to get back into the dating world.

Finally, Anna said she'd go out, but didn't know anyone.

Her daughter immediately replied,

"Mom I have someone for you to meet."

Well, it was an immediate hit.
They took to one another and after dating for six weeks,
he asked her to join him for a weekend in Vermont ..

Their first night there, she undressed as he did
There she stood nude, except for a pair of black lacy panties;
he was in his birthday suit.

Looking her over, he asked, "Why the black panties?"

She replied:
"My breasts you can fondle, my body is yours to explore,
but down there I am still mourning."

He knew he was not getting lucky that night.

The following night was the same--

she stood there wearing the black panties,
and he was in his birthday suit--
but now he was wearing a black condom ..

She looked at him and asked: "What's with the black condom?"

He replied, "I want to offer my deepest condolences"

 

[Lick]

A man walks into a cocktail lounge and approaches Maxine sitting by herself and asks, "May I buy you a cocktail?"

"No thank you," Maxine replies, "alcohol is bad for my legs."
"Sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"

"No, they spread."

 

[Lick]

Confucius Say
Since a lawyer joined our nudist colony, he hasn't had a suit.

Confucius Say
Many arguments have two sides, but no end.

Confucius Say
The best defense against rape, is to beat off the attacker.

Confucius Say
Life is like an onion; you peel off one layer at a time and sometimes you weep.

Confucius Say
Cinderella would be bad at football. Her coach was a pumpkin.

Confucius Say
When TV repairman got married, the reception was excellent.

Confucius Say
The palest ink is better than the best memory.

Confucius Say
Miners with illuminated helmets, will feel lightheaded.

Confucius Say
A man can keep his youth, by giving her money, furs and diamonds.

Confucius Say
The best way to slow a runaway horse, is to bet on it."

 

[Lick]

Tax Time

A woman walks into an accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask you a few questions.”
He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What’s your occupation?”

“I’m a prostitute,” she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, ” Let’s try to rephrase that.”

The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”.

“No, that still won’t work. Try again.”

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite chicken farmer.”
The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?”













“Well, I raised a thousand cocks last year.”
“Chicken Farmer it is.”

 

[Lick]

 

[Lick]

A woman was at work when she received a phone call that her small daughter was very sick with a fever. She left her work and stopped by the pharmacy to get some medication. She got back to her car and found that she had locked her keys in the car.

She didn't know what to do, so she called home and told the baby sitter what had happened. The baby sitter told her that the fever was getting worse. She said, "You might find a coat hanger and use that to open the door."

The woman looked around and found an old rusty coat hanger that had been left on the ground, possibly by someone else who at some time had locked their keys in their car. She looked at the hanger and said, "I don't know how to use this."

She bowed her head and asked God to send her help.

Within five minutes a beat up old motorcycle pulled up, with a dirty, greasy, bearded man who was wearing an old biker skull rag on his head.

The woman thought, "This is what you sent to help me?" But, she was desperate, so she was also very thankful. The man got off of his cycle and asked if he could help.

She said, "Yes, my daughter is very sick. I stopped to get her some medication and I locked my keys in my car. I must get home to her... Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?"

He said, "Sure." He walked over to the car, and in less than a minute the car was opened. She hugged the man and through her tears she said, "Thank You So Much! You are a very nice man."

The man replied, "Lady, I am not a nice man. I just got out of prison today. I was in prison for car theft and have only been out for about an hour."

The woman hugged the man again and with sobbing tears cried out loud, "Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!!!"

 

[Lick]

SUNDAY CLOTHES

A little boy was walking down a dirt road after
church one Sunday afternoon when he came to a
crossroads where he met a little girl coming from the other direction.


'Hi,' replied the little girl.

'Where are you going?' asked the little boy.

'I've been to church this morning and I'm on my
way home,' answered the little girl.

'I'm also on my way home from church.
Which church do you go to?' asked the little boy.

'I go to the Catholic church back down the road,'
replied the little girl. 'What about you? '

'I go to the Lutheran church back at the top of the hill,' replied the little boy.

They discover that they are both going the same way
so they decided that they'd walk together.

They came to a low spot in the road where spring rains
had partially flooded the road, so there was no way
that they could get across to the other side without getting wet.

'If I get my new Sunday dress wet, my Mom's
going to skin me alive,' said the little girl.

'My Mom'll tan my hide, too, if I get my new
Sunday suit wet,' replied the little boy.

'I'll tell you what I think I'll do,' said the little girl.
'I'm gonna pull off all my clothes and hold
them over my head and wade across.'

'That's a good idea,'replied the little boy.
'I'm going to do the same thing with my suit.'

So they both undressed and waded across tothe other side
without getting their clothes wet. They were standing there in the sun
waiting to drip dry before putting their clothes back on,
when the little boy finally remarked:


'You know, I never realized before just how much
difference there really is between a
CATHOLIC and a LUTHERAN!!!'

 

[Lick]

Confucius Say
The difference between a lawyer and a chicken is, the chicken clucks defiant.

Confucius Say
Men in a singles bar have one thing in common...they're all married.

Confucius Say
"Migration" is the headache birds get when they fly South for the winter.

Confucius Say
Lady who goes down first time out, is called "Titanic"

Confucius Say
Deaf people have phone sex by fax.

Confucius say,
"Whoever gossips to you, will gossip about you."

Confucius Say
I ask wife for "light lunch". She serve fireflys.

Confucius Say
Crossing dinosaur with a pig, will make Jurassic Pork.

Confucius Say
An Austrailian Kiss is similar to French Kiss, but given down under.

Confucius Say
Man who mix poison ivy with four leaf clover, have rash of good luck.

 

[Lick]

Billy Connolly Quotes of the Century


'If women are so bloody perfect at multitasking, how come they can't have a headache and sex at the same time?'

Honestly some folk will take offence at anything, I met a bloke with no legs this morning while at the bus stop, all I asked was "How are you getting on?"

Paddy was in the delivery room when the midwife handed him a black baby.
"Is this yours?" she asked "probably" said Paddy "she burns everything else"

My missus has just gone into hospital with 2 black eyes and a broken jaw!
It seems we were on different wave lengths when she said she wanted decking on the patio

Sex therapist claims that the most effective way to arouse your man is to spend 10 minutes licking his ears!! Personally I think its bollocks!!

They reckon that Beer contains female hormones and I think they are right.
After 8 pints I talk shit and can't drive!

Vicar booking into a hotel asks the receptionist "Is the Porn channel in my room disabled ?" "No" she replies "its just regular porn you sick bastard"

A mate of mine has just told me he's shagging his girlfriend and her twin,
I said how can you tell them apart, he said "her brothers got a moustache!"

A biker goes to the Doctor with hearing problems "Can you describe the symptoms to me". "Yes.....Homer is a fat yellow lazy bastard and Marg is a skinny bird with big blue hair!!"

My black eye & fat lip suggests that 'up the backside'....was definitely the wrong answer, when my girlfriend asked me 'where are you taking me for my birthday?'

And then there was my mate who'd just been fitted with a brand new hearing aid. "It's the best in the world", he said. "What type is it?", I asked and he said "ten past twelve"

 

[Lick]

The Affair
A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant.
Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.
"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.
"Just send me a postcard and write 'spaghetti' on the back," he replied. "I'll take care of expenses."

Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."
"Just wait until I get home," the doctor said, "and I will explain it to you."
Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack.

Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room.
The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.

So the wife picked up the card and read, "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti... two with sausage and meatballs; two without."

​