As someone else said, go the hospital right now to get yourself off the cliff58 life done beat the shit out of me. Sacrificed my whole life for the fam 8 kids 5 boys 3 girls. All they talk about is when I die the house this and that. One son played NFL ball one played Hockey but they are building their family and cant help at all. One son said I will help fix up the house if I put him on the deed. I always had the most potential. MBA. Service connected disabled vet owned LLC. Agent for a trucking Brokerage. Own a notary service, 501c3 non profit. But I can't get shit to equate to finance. Really tired. Don't know what to do. Should be pulling this trigger but I am failing at that. Not looking for sympathy just an old tired man. I feel like I have failed as a father a son a brother and a husband.
You raised 8 kids so you aint no failure by any definition of the world....dont be afraid to pack up your shit and do some wild shit like move to another country...you can kill the old you and make a new version of yourself without going the route of suicide...if you feeling boxed in, thats your mind playing tricks on you....the world is too big to feel boxed in...let go of some of those pressures and expectations of others, but stick around man to see what life has to offer when you open your mind to a new you....shit man, your kids may even surprise you in a good way....wouldn't you want to be here to see that?