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Contemplating suicide

dinka64

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
58 life done beat the shit out of me. Sacrificed my whole life for the fam 8 kids 5 boys 3 girls. All they talk about is when I die the house this and that. One son played NFL ball one played Hockey but they are building their family and cant help at all. One son said I will help fix up the house if I put him on the deed. I always had the most potential. MBA. Service connected disabled vet owned LLC. Agent for a trucking Brokerage. Own a notary service, 501c3 non profit. But I can't get shit to equate to finance. Really tired. Don't know what to do. Should be pulling this trigger but I am failing at that. Not looking for sympathy just an old tired man. I feel like I have failed as a father a son a brother and a husband.
 

tallblacknyc

Rising Star
Certified Pussy Poster
Somewhere there’s a handicap person, a person with terminal cancer that wish they was in your position to be able to live. You have life, you have family, you have a roof over your head, that is doing better than a lot of people. Be proud of what you have and not all the things you don’t. The fact you woke up today there’s thousands of people in the world that wasn’t able to say the samething
 

REDLINE

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
If you can't pull the trigger that means it's not time.

You had a son in the NFL and one that played hockey, if the other kids are doing well you succeeded as a Father.

Remember everyone has rough patches but the only thing that keeps is moving is hope.

Talk to someone and let them know how you feel...

Wait you did, US! :lol:

You've lived 58 years have a house, a wife and successful kids. If finances are the only reason you're thinking about taking yourself out then that's not a good enough reason.
 

Bumpee

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
I've been there before. Went so far as to contemplating whether to put the gun to the temple or in my mouth, hell I even practiced it. Only thing I can tell you is that it we'll get better. Not perfect by any means, but better.
I think about all the stuff I might have missed out on had I proceeded with it. It's difficult to do, but find something to live for, shit even if it's just your favorite sports team possibly winning the Superbowl (punk azz 49ers blowing leads late), a favorite sitcom, a new place to visit, new food to eat. Plenty of life out there to discover and potentially enjoy.

I listen to this song a lot, and it does help....



Pulling for you Brother.
 

Deezz

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
Somewhere there’s a handicap person, a person with terminal cancer that wish they was in your position to be able to live. You have life, you have family, you have a roof over your head, that is doing better than a lot of people. Be proud of what you have and not all the things you don’t. The fact you woke up today there’s thousands of people in the world that wasn’t able to say the samething
Well said...
 

Dark19

Zod's Son
BGOL Investor
Dinka....I Know You Dont Me From a Can of Paint....Probably Could Say That as It Pertains to Most Cats On This Forum. I Understand Where You Coming From and How You Feel. I Say to You Black Man to Black Man, Cause a Whole Lot of People Both Within and Without Dont Give a Damn About Us....Dont Do That.....You Only 58. You Got Waaaay Too Much Life to Live. And Its Sounds Like Its Time for That Life to be About You. I Humbly Ask That You Start Your Journey Toward a New Life by Seeking a Medical Health Care Professional. This What Your Feeling Is an Injury Just the Same as If Both Your Legs Were Broken and You Feel Like You Can Stand. Let Them Help You. You Came on Here of All Places and Even With the Chaos of the Members In Here.....You Knew in the Back of Your Mind.....We Care About Your Well Being. So Please Take That First Step Brother. At 58 You Have Outlasted a Ton of Tough Times and Situations.....Id Like to See You Make This Another One You Conquered.
 

ronmch20

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
58 life done beat the shit out of me. Sacrificed my whole life for the fam 8 kids 5 boys 3 girls. All they talk about is when I die the house this and that. One son played NFL ball one played Hockey but they are building their family and cant help at all. One son said I will help fix up the house if I put him on the deed. I always had the most potential. MBA. Service connected disabled vet owned LLC. Agent for a trucking Brokerage. Own a notary service, 501c3 non profit. But I can't get shit to equate to finance. Really tired. Don't know what to do. Should be pulling this trigger but I am failing at that. Not looking for sympathy just an old tired man. I feel like I have failed as a father a son a brother and a husband.
Hop a plane to somewhere in the South Seas or wherever you like and take what's left of your assets and flee and be free. :hmm:
 

qsstang

Potential Star
BGOL Investor
Black Man.

By nature and nurture, we are asked to deal with so much more.
and we do.

Therapy For Black Men

I've been there and I'm sure some of the fellas have too.



Before you make a choice reach out on the above page.

or

Call or Text
(800) 273-8255 for immediate assistance that is free and confidential. Texting is also available. Text “HEAL” to 741741 Crisis Text Line.
 
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godofwine

Supreme Porn Poster - Ret
BGOL Investor
Let me say this about suicide. Don't think about how sad your mom would be or anything like that. Don't think about your kids.

It's more selfish than that.

What if you miss? You think life is bad NOW?

Secondly, everything except AIDS and herpes ENDS...and even herpes ain't every day. Tomorrow has the probability of possibilities.

You could win the lottery.
You could meet the love of your life

Sometimes, a lot of times Life Effing Sucks, but remember Tomorrow has the probability of possibilities.

Have I thought about punching my own ticket? Yes. Why haven't I? A chance encounter I had with an RN on the bus in 2004.

I saw this fine woman on the bus, so I approached her on my, Charlie Last Name Wilson.

I asked her where she worked and same said, "The Suicide Ward"

Excuse me?

"I work on a Ward with people who attempted suicide and failed. One guy did a swan dive from a 10 story building and is now quadriplegic. 2 guys shot themselves in the mouth and are now quadriplegic. One guy shot himself in the ear and is now quadriplegic."

I said Wow. But what she said next floored me.

"With every one of these people they are worse off now, WHATEVER their problems were, they are worse off NOW than they were the day before they did this.

Tomorrow COULD get better. Yes, it could get worse, too. But Tomorrow has the PROBABILITY of POSSIBILITIES.

Think about this the next time you think of attempting suicide:

What if I miss? If you think life is bad NOW, imagine life being 1000 times worse.

Your life ain't that bad. Everything except AIDS and herpes ends...and even herpes ain't every day.

Tomorrow has the probability of possibilities. It could get better, and it probably will
 
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tallblacknyc

Rising Star
Certified Pussy Poster
Go outside.. close your eyes and take a deep breath like it’s your first time breathing, than open your eyes look around like it’s the first time you using your vision, keep taking deep breaths and try to listen to the surrounding sounds like it’s your first time hearing, just breathe easy and appreciate the small things like you able to use your senses, smell , talk, see, hear and remember there’s 10s of millions of people on the planet that wish they had those capabilities. Start appreciating the small things we take for granted and than start thinking about other things you have done or have that many people don’t and you will realize you are more successful than you imagine..the fact you got to walk the earth for 58 yrs is already an accomplishment that many won’t achieve or are hoping to 1 day.. be proud of these things and keep on breathing bro life still wants you here
 

850credit

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
Every day above ground is a good day. There are no bad days, just challenging ones.

Look at what you wrote. You just gave us a small glance into all you have accomplished. Raising productive kids. Starting businesses. Completing graduate level education.

You are one of our best and brightest just off what you shared with us. We can not afford to lose you big dawg.

20 minute walk around your neighborhood, right now. Turn off your phone. Get out the house and away from that gun. See in detail the things you normally drive by. This is mandatory, not a request.

You got a lot of living to do.
 

RoadRage

the voice of reason
BGOL Investor
58 life done beat the shit out of me. Sacrificed my whole life for the fam 8 kids 5 boys 3 girls. All they talk about is when I die the house this and that. One son played NFL ball one played Hockey but they are building their family and cant help at all. One son said I will help fix up the house if I put him on the deed. I always had the most potential. MBA. Service connected disabled vet owned LLC. Agent for a trucking Brokerage. Own a notary service, 501c3 non profit. But I can't get shit to equate to finance. Really tired. Don't know what to do. Should be pulling this trigger but I am failing at that. Not looking for sympathy just an old tired man. I feel like I have failed as a father a son a brother and a husband.
Been down that road when my daughter had cancer, probably would have done it if she died, so I won't bleed your ear with the bla bla bla, you have your life ahead of you, and the bla bla bla think about your loved ones bullshit.
My question is for your heart and soul, do you think you learned all that you need to learn in life? Or did you just go through the motions of life, doing what others expected you to do?
Answer these questions, because the symptoms you are describing sound to me that there is more going on than you realize.
 

34real

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
I feel like I have failed as a father a son a brother and a husband.
What you need to do is make the last half of your life YOUR BEST LIFE.
1.Cut all beggars off,you've got em this far and now it's time for them to carry on....I don't give a fuck if it's your momma
2.Change your number
3.Situate things for yourself so you'll have what you need and want
4.Get you a passport and travel the world and do everything you always wanted to do
5.Connect and reconnect with people you've met on your 58yrs on this earth
6.Enjoy it....whatever it is long as it's not bad for you like drugs,the bottle and if you want to stay in the strip club til it's closed do just that.

58yrs old and you've lived so why get so closed to the finish line and end it like this?disconnect from the niggas,situation your will and leave them niggas nothing because no matter what you do,live or die,money or a house their still won't be shit....who knows you might have a new kid @ 58yrs and will make you happy.


Today is the first day of fall by next week I would be somewhere fucking warm.

Some of us aren't as lucky,failing health is a motherfucker and to be able to piss without it hurting....just be thankful for what you have cause I would cashout for it to go away.
 

hajjibear

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
Hang in their man. Shit does get crazy and it seems like there is no end but believe me, brighter days are coming. I'm going through some shit now as well but I have to stay the course. My pops committed suicide right before I turned 21. I went to get some help and they told me I had a higher chance of committing suicide since my dad did. That stayed with me and I have always used that as motivation to push through. Sending out prayers and good vibes to you bro, stay strong and seek out help.
 

Jumbodicc

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
I hope you find peace in this life very soon. If you don't feel comfortable talking to people that you know personally about your struggles I'll volunteer to be a sound board for you. We all struggle in this life and there aren't many outlets for Black men to be vulnerable with our emotions, we need to do that for each other. I wish you nothing but positivity and good health family.
 

850credit

Rising Star
BGOL Investor
You might laugh at this (which would be good) But every time I get down, which is a lot, I put on The Dark Knight Returns.

Why?

Because it is the ultimate redemption story. A man, hunted by the very people he's sworn to protect, goes into deep depression and hides from the world for 8 years.

He comes back and get broken physically and imprisoned by a new enemy.

He could have easily chosen to give up, but his love for his people wouldn't let him quit.

He returns triumphant, vanquishing his demons, and is able to retire because Batman is an idea, not a man.

It's a story of overcoming depression and insurmountable odds.

It's the story of every man. Especially Black.

The point is, you must accept and embrace your fears to get out that pit of depression. If you've seen the movie you know what I mean. Apply those lessons to your life! It's not over, just a bump in the road!

 
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