Ask a black man a question thread (for the ladies that want to know)

[patience54]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






I have a question-Men do you understand that your woman NEEDS intimacy do ya'll know what that is????

Also do you know we dont mind you watchin porn and looking at ass and titties....But dayum dont forget about us!
Maybe we want that same attention too....


Ok but for real my question is about intimacy-do you guys know what that is?

That's a good question. I, for one, would like to hear the answer from a woman's perspective.

I'm going to describe it as the emotional connection made through talking & listening (with empathy), eye contact, physical contact that is non-sexual but endearing, and laughter.

 

[BigUnc]

bump for an answer

Yes

A disheartening thing to say but it's true.Funny part is if you bring it up they will deny it fiercely which usually leads to jokes at his expense from his friends.

 

[BigUnc]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






I have a question-Men do you understand that your woman NEEDS intimacy do ya'll know what that is????

Also do you know we dont mind you watchin porn and looking at ass and titties....But dayum dont forget about us!
Maybe we want that same attention too....


Ok but for real my question is about intimacy-do you guys know what that is?

Intimacy is re affirming the spiritual connection that was made between 2 people. showing that she is" the One"..."the only One".Being able to remove the normal barriers between people to share private thought's and secrets knowing they can be trusted in the others hand. Being in a crowd of 10,000 people but focused only on each other. Respecting each other naturally without thought or effort . Communicating through light touches and eye contact. Somehow, in some way, communicating to her that of all the people on the planet how did I find you.

 

[melonpecan]

why do women make such poor selections in guys? That's my question.

Because most are delusional as to what they think they need and what they think they want. They try to settle for less thinking that what they can get is what they need when in reality they don't want it- they want something better. But without the grace and knowledge to do better, they are stuck with this "poor selection".

Of course there are some exceptions to this rule like the occasional woman on her shit having to go out of town to find a real man because those around her are bogged down by this defeatist bullshit mentality. Then there are the women who know what they want but are too damn uppity trying to keep appearances that they pick the wrong man just to do so- mainly so they can get what they want so they can go out and get the man they think they need. Which is why most of the case on the Real Housewives of Atlanta are divorced or unmarried or just plain crazy, (that's the whole cast 'cept for one. And I never even seen the damn show).


Women in general need to be taught certain lessons when it comes to men, but for the most part it's trial and error. It might take a couple of broken hearts, dicks, and a gig of homegrown for her to realize but SOMETIMES they get the point and straighten out. Then again sometimes they do not. This question kinda hits home for me because there are those in my life that are probably asking themselves this same question but as an outsider looking in I have to wonder if the problem isn't the woman and not the man. This is the biggest overarching problem, that the woman does not recognize that she has a problem, and instead puts the blame on every failed relationship and man she has been with.


Comments? Rebuttal?

*open podium

 

[krispmx]

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!






I have a question-Men do you understand that your woman NEEDS intimacy do ya'll know what that is????

Also do you know we dont mind you watchin porn and looking at ass and titties....But dayum dont forget about us!
Maybe we want that same attention too....


Ok but for real my question is about intimacy-do you guys know what that is?

Id like to take a stab at this since this has been a downfall of mine in the past (and still somewhat the present). I believe men know what intimacy is. I also believe that for some men they are incapable....well let me say their ability to be intimate is dormant. Now I say dormant because even though we may not do it very often or like to do it, since it serves no real purpose for us, the ability is there. Men dont see intimacy as productive use of time. They purely do it for the woman. They decide on how often to do it. The majority of time it will be in the beginning of a relationship and periodically during the relationship. So when you women say the thrill is gone. Your basically saying the intimacy is gone. Men have to learn to treat their partners with undying love and respect, at the same time women have to understand that intimacy is not a part of the mans way of thinking.


I am the worst and trying to remember to be more intimate. Now when I go at it then I give it my best effort.

 

[BigUnc]

Because most are delusional as to what they think they need and what they think they want. They try to settle for less thinking that what they can get is what they need when in reality they don't want it- they want something better. But without the grace and knowledge to do better, they are stuck with this "poor selection".

Of course there are some exceptions to this rule like the occasional woman on her shit having to go out of town to find a real man because those around her are bogged down by this defeatist bullshit mentality. Then there are the women who know what they want but are too damn uppity trying to keep appearances that they pick the wrong man just to do so- mainly so they can get what they want so they can go out and get the man they think they need. Which is why most of the case on the Real Housewives of Atlanta are divorced or unmarried or just plain crazy, (that's the whole cast 'cept for one. And I never even seen the damn show).


Women in general need to be taught certain lessons when it comes to men, but for the most part it's trial and error. It might take a couple of broken hearts, dicks, and a gig of homegrown for her to realize but SOMETIMES they get the point and straighten out. Then again sometimes they do not. This question kinda hits home for me because there are those in my life that are probably asking themselves this same question but as an outsider looking in I have to wonder if the problem isn't the woman and not the man. This is the biggest overarching problem, that the woman does not recognize that she has a problem, and instead puts the blame on every failed relationship and man she has been with.

Comments? Rebuttal?

*open podium

You just potentially opened up a can of worms with that statement. Gave a ton of ammo for the he man women haters club to come in and c/s that while venting their hurt feelings at the hands of women they have encountered.

But maybe the brothers will keep things in perspective and approach it from a new or different perspective.

 

[krispmx]

why do women make such poor selections in guys? That's my question.

IMO i think it has to do with what you want and what you consider priority in your selection. You may say you want stability, respect, a partner. But at the same time is that priority one. Now some women may want those things, but things like good looking, clean, hardcore, popular takes precedence over the other things you want. Change the priority and your choice selection will improve. Now your pickings may get slimmer, but thats the price of priority change. No different then picking bad jobs

 

[melonpecan]

You just potentially opened up a can of worms with that statement. Gave a ton of ammo for the he man women haters club to come in and c/s that while venting their hurt feelings at the hands of women they have encountered.

But maybe the brothers will keep things in perspective and approach it from a new or different perspective.

Probably.

But it works both ways. If a man can't find a stable relationship or it always ends fuckly, perhaps he can't admit that he has a problem that he needs to address as well. I just answered according to the question about females from a female point of view. As one I can admit we have wrong judgments and our logic is flawed, (as with men), but for different reasons than most men. Hell, we can start a thread about women venting on men with issues and more than likely the women lurkers might show face.


I really share your hope of dudes coming in here and keeping the perspective of things but hey, I wasn't gonna lie.

 

[DeSiRe]

Yes

A disheartening thing to say but it's true.Funny part is if you bring it up they will deny it fiercely which usually leads to jokes at his expense from his friends.

thats crazy

whats your advice to handle the situation

about 20 years ago i woulda threw a handful of dirt from the sandbox at him but we are supposed to be adults right

 

[BigUnc]

thats crazy

whats your advice to handle the situation

about 20 years ago i woulda threw a handful of dirt from the sandbox at him but we are supposed to be adults right

I dunno...throw some dirt from the flower garden on him. Be careful though he might like it, toss you over his shoulder and carry you back to his cave.....ummm his crib.

 

[shaddyvillethug]

hello onyx

 

[onyxfemme]

Awwww I knew black men knew what intimacy was!!!!!!
Ok now I feel better!

That's a good question. I, for one, would like to hear the answer from a woman's perspective.

I'm going to describe it as the emotional connection made through talking & listening (with empathy), eye contact, physical contact that is non-sexual but endearing, and laughter.

Intimacy is re affirming the spiritual connection that was made between 2 people. showing that she is" the One"..."the only One".Being able to remove the normal barriers between people to share private thought's and secrets knowing they can be trusted in the others hand. Being in a crowd of 10,000 people but focused only on each other. Respecting each other naturally without thought or effort . Communicating through light touches and eye contact. Somehow, in some way, communicating to her that of all the people on the planet how did I find you.

Id like to take a stab at this since this has been a downfall of mine in the past (and still somewhat the present). I believe men know what intimacy is. I also believe that for some men they are incapable....well let me say their ability to be intimate is dormant. Now I say dormant because even though we may not do it very often or like to do it, since it serves no real purpose for us, the ability is there. Men dont see intimacy as productive use of time. They purely do it for the woman. They decide on how often to do it. The majority of time it will be in the beginning of a relationship and periodically during the relationship. So when you women say the thrill is gone. Your basically saying the intimacy is gone. Men have to learn to treat their partners with undying love and respect, at the same time women have to understand that intimacy is not a part of the mans way of thinking.


I am the worst and trying to remember to be more intimate. Now when I go at it then I give it my best effort.

Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii Shaddy-How's the little one?

hello onyx

 

[shaddyvillethug]

He is doing great.

he crawls a lot tho.

 

[onyxfemme]

Awwwww I love them when they are like that....Crawls alot huh...
Moving out the way for another one?? Hmmmmmmm?

He is doing great.

he crawls a lot tho.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

He is doing great.

he crawls a lot tho.

You got that outfit I sent right?

 

[shaddyvillethug]

naw iono onyx i may be done for a while.

You got that outfit I sent right?

no doubt....i got that shit.

but it was a lil bit to big.

 

[LuckyHungWellington]

How do men really feel about women who don't mind spending money on a date???

Like I don't mind when a guy treats me but I always feel like when someone does something nice for me that I should return the favour no matter what it is ... but there are men who seemed almost insulted that I pulled my wallett out

How should a woman handle that???

Here's what women have to learn about men. Women value their sex and private parts as if it's a gift and a thing of value. Men value their money and property the same way. We spend money on you because we consider it to be an investment into something worthwhile; something we'll get a return on. When U offer to pay for something it's kewl and all but it doesn't have the effect U think it generates. Actually to us ur cutting in on our investment and it's counter productive. To you (the woman) ur saying "hey I value U and/or care about you so i'll share in this thing with U" ... we just don't see it that way. Funny thing is, if we're in a relationship with U the whole event has a different meaning. We tend to see what U mean when u do it; if we're in a relationship. But while we're courting and chasing the booty, ur interfering with the pursuit of the booty. During the dating/pursuit of the booty phase, I hate to say it but women need to take on this line of thought ... "find a weak limb and swing on it, 'til it breaks." That, is a man's mentality. The woman needs to adapt that train of thought. If not, prepare to be "Officially be chopped and screwed".

 

[LuckyHungWellington]

Awwww I knew black men knew what intimacy was!!!!!!
Ok now I feel better!

LOL, of course black men know what intimacy is. All men do but until that man matures the most important issue to a man is the one staring him in the face at that given moment. Until he is a developed and mature man the most important relationship and/or woman is the one currently in his face. U wonder how someone could cheat on a Halle Berry or a Vanessa Williams? Well the most finest woman, best Puxxy, best opportunity is the one that's currently fronting U.

Now let's not get too down on men cause women don't really know who they are relationship wise until about their mid 30's. Tha's right about the age they've been screwed over enuf to realize that a six pack of abs, a pretty face, a big pay check etc. ain't all it's cracked up to be. Right about mid 30's is when a woman realizes fake hair, fake eyes, fake nails and her fake reality don't change the fact that she still is screwed up to all get out. There's a certain reality that comes with mid 30's. The beauty of it is she starts to know what she'll accept and what she won't. I think that's extremely beautiful in a woman. Mind U, nothing is ever everything or everyone but mid 30's is when it usually starts to kick in. Takes a lil longer for men. Hopefully the man will have gotten all his running out in his younger years and will be a lil tired of the game.

 

[onyxfemme]

Are....are....are you and angel?

But for real you just spoke so much truth there...I cant even speak right now.....

Exhales........

LOL, of course black men know what intimacy is. All men do but until that man matures the most important issue to a man is the one staring him in the face at that given moment. Until he is a developed and mature man the most important relationship and/or woman is the one currently in his face. U wonder how someone could cheat on a Halle Berry or a Vanessa Williams? Well the most finest woman, best Puxxy, best opportunity is the one that's currently fronting U.

Now let's not get too down on men cause women don't really know who they are relationship wise until about their mid 30's. Tha's right about the age they've been screwed over enuf to realize that a six pack of abs, a pretty face, a big pay check etc. ain't all it's cracked up to be. Right about mid 30's is when a woman realizes fake hair, fake eyes, fake nails and her fake reality don't change the fact that she still is screwed up to all get out. There's a certain reality that comes with mid 30's. The beauty of it is she starts to know what she'll accept and what she won't. I think that's extremely beautiful in a woman. Mind U, nothing is ever everything or everyone but mid 30's is when it usually starts to kick in. Takes a lil longer for men. Hopefully the man will have gotten all his running out in his younger years and will be a lil tired of the game.

 

[LoneStar29]

Here's what women have to learn about men. Women value their sex and private parts as if it's a gift and a thing of value. Men value their money and property the same way. We spend money on you because we consider it to be an investment into something worthwhile; something we'll get a return on. When U offer to pay for something it's kewl and all but it doesn't have the effect U think it generates. Actually to us ur cutting in on our investment and it's counter productive. To you (the woman) ur saying "hey I value U and/or care about you so i'll share in this thing with U" ... we just don't see it that way. Funny thing is, if we're in a relationship with U the whole event has a different meaning. We tend to see what U mean when u do it; if we're in a relationship. But while we're courting and chasing the booty, ur interfering with the pursuit of the booty. During the dating/pursuit of the booty phase, I hate to say it but women need to take on this line of thought ... "find a weak limb and swing on it, 'til it breaks." That, is a man's mentality. The woman needs to adapt that train of thought. If not, prepare to be "Officially be chopped and screwed".

OH SHIT ... I never even though about it like that before ... thanks for the post

 

[LuckyHungWellington]

Just trying to make it do what it do for y'all.

 

[BrownTurd]

why do men think they have a unlimited pussy pass after they smash?

no matter who u are with...how long its been since we did it....or even the terms in which we fell off

how come men feel like they are entitled to it?

You are just a hoe to him. He could careless about what you thought or felt.

 

[BrownTurd]

How do men really feel about women who don't mind spending money on a date???

Like I don't mind when a guy treats me but I always feel like when someone does something nice for me that I should return the favour no matter what it is ... but there are men who seemed almost insulted that I pulled my wallett out

How should a woman handle that???

It depends on the situation. This is a hard question to truly answer. Sometimes a woman can be to independent. But a female paying for a date should not be a problem. If it becomes a problem then the dude may have some control issues.

 

[BrownTurd]

Should a woman make a guy wait a little bit before sleeping with him ... just so she can feel him out to see if he really likes her or not??? If he doesn't want to wait at all is it safe to assume it's cuz he doesn't really like her and all he wants to do is just fuck??? In this situation he would only need to wait like a few dates or so


And is there such a thing as a woman who is completely undesirable to men???

This is a major problem with women. Women tend to devalue themselves. Some women truly believe that all men want is just pussy. This is far from the truth. Ladies real men desire love and cherish commitment and a family. Also women tend to believe that all they have is their pussy. I repeat...sex has nothing to do with whether a man likes a woman. Withholding sex is not going to give you any idea of what the guys real intentions are

 

[DeSiRe]

have u ever met a woman that had a sexual aura?

what made u think she had it?

for the sake of argument lets say she doesnt have a jumpoff reputation and she doesnt dress slutty

 

[Digital Angel]

Why can't guys tell when they suck in bed? I'm not a great actress but why do guys always fall for the "fake" orgasm? (The fake orgasm only used to speed up the process)

 

[BrownTurd]

Why can't guys tell when they suck in bed? I'm not a great actress but why do guys always fall for the "fake" orgasm? (The fake orgasm only used to speed up the process)

You indirectly answered your own question. You faked the orgasm so how do you expect the man to know he is not pleasing you

 

[Noir]

Why can't guys tell when they suck in bed? I'm not a great actress but why do guys always fall for the "fake" orgasm? (The fake orgasm only used to speed up the process)

Maybe the guy does know that he sucked in bed that session, but to mention it (much less apologize) would be too embarrassing and ego-shattering to him.

It's not that the guy falls for the fake orgasm, but he knows that you know he sucked in bed, and takes your fake orgasm as silent affirmation of this, but that you are willing to not blow him up by mentioning it. So he does not mention that he knows you are giving a fake orgasm.

 

[BrownTurd]

You just potentially opened up a can of worms with that statement. Gave a ton of ammo for the he man women haters club to come in and c/s that while venting their hurt feelings at the hands of women they have encountered.

But maybe the brothers will keep things in perspective and approach it from a new or different perspective.

What she said was very true. Some women tend to blame everyone but themselves for being in those bad relationships. I see it all the time. A woman will reject a normal guy that would most likely fulfill all the things she desires and date a guy who does not. The main problem I see is that women keep good men as their friends and place them in the friend zone while they date the guy that is a challenge. Most women have the perfect guy in their life already but keep them as their friends.

 

[Noir]

have u ever met a woman that had a sexual aura?

what made u think she had it?

for the sake of argument lets say she doesnt have a jumpoff reputation and she doesnt dress slutty

Yes, I have met women that seemed to exude an aura of sexiness about them. What made them have it? It is something almost ephemeral, not what they have on, but how they wear it (not meaning exposed or open). It was a certain way they carried themselves, with a flirtatious confidence and manner about them, how they look at you when you are talking to them. The way they sound when talking. . . It is something graceful that comes naturally, or else you come off looking foolish or slutty.

 

[LoneStar29]

Yes, I have met women that seemed to exude an aura of sexiness about them. What made them have it? It is something almost ephemeral, not what they have on, but how they wear it (not meaning exposed or open). It was a certain way they carried themselves, with a flirtatious confidence and manner about them, how they look at you when you are talking to them. The way they sound when talking. . . It is something graceful that comes naturally, or else you come off looking foolish or slutty.

How does a woman like that keep men from getting the wrong idea though ... I find men tend to be more sexually aggressive with women like this

 

[Noir]

How does a woman like that keep men from getting the wrong idea though ... I find men tend to be more sexually aggressive with women like this

What do you mean by men getting the wrong idea? A woman who exudes that aura of sexiness is not going to have men thinking that she is a hoe or an easy jump off, and a man approaching her should know she's not the type to get aggressive with just from her demeanor.

Men that get sexually aggressive probably do it to all women they approach, no matter how the woman carries herself. It is not the woman's fault if a man is inappropriate towards her.

 

[LoneStar29]

What do you mean by men getting the wrong idea? A woman who exudes that aura of sexiness is not going to have men thinking that she is a hoe or an easy jump off, and a man approaching her should know she's not the type to get aggressive with just from her demeanor.

Men that get sexually aggressive probably do it to all women they approach, no matter how the woman carries herself. It is not the woman's fault if a man is inappropriate towards her.

Ok I get it thank you. I asked cuz people tell me I'm like that and I wondered if that is why men always are so quick to wanna fuck ... guess not lol

 

[BrownTurd]

Ok I get it thank you. I asked cuz people tell me I'm like that and I wondered if that is why men always are so quick to wanna fuck ... guess not lol

They may want to fuck cause you got a fat ass

 

[LoneStar29]

They may want to fuck cause you got a fat ass

LOL