I was wondering when the BGOL wolves would descend.
Successful, black and lonely
- Thread starter Brigade4Radiant
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Herein lies the problem in my opinion. A lot of women have become what THEY'RE attracted to. The delusion in that is they assume men are attracted to the same thing women are. If a woman has an advanced degree, that's a turn on and an added bonus for me. But it's not a necessity. If she has BMW, again, nice bonus. But not a necessity. Ivy League degree? Same thing. That doesn't encapsulate "everything" to me though. Does she cook? What does she read? Is she capable of free thought outside of the academic shit she's read? How is her relationship with her father? Does she understand and accept the different roles of men and women. These are what's important to a lot of men. What a lot of these sistas fail to realize is they've become what they wanted in a man. And that's why on a Friday night, they're dating themselves.
Much love for the queens though and good luck.
Care to elaborate?
ER,
You can still have fun here. I can turn you on to cool shit to do, where 'real' people show up and enjoy. And that goes for anyone else in the Chi on the board. It's just that you have to deal with '2nd city syndrome'. You're likely too young to ever even heard the phrase, but likely you're gonna be dealing with people trying to live 'up' to the standards and cultural vibes of other metropolises. For all of the incredibly talented and interesting people in Chicago, they STAY trying to prove some shit. So they act extra as a means to validate themselves. And it's fucked up, socially, for you that you're mixed, because a lot a brothas won't see much passed that, attractive or not. They'll probably holla strictly on that level, never knowing OR interested in knowing, what seems to be cool shit about you (linguistics . . . that's heady stuff).
Anyway, you're actually hanging in the right areas(wicker park, south loop, belmont, etc. But you're young, so you can't really expect to meet people your age that have broad experiences . . . broad interests perhaps. And, there are fucked up ppl in every social group, so you simply have to sharpen your tools and STRATEGIES for distinguishing who's who.
JG
A couple people saying the "right things"
I blame capitalism. I know that's an easy scapegoat...but still.
i admit I was a little naive as an immigrant but I never closed my eyes
Capitalism if you don't know what capitalism is.
If they understood capitalism to some degree then they would unhook their self-worth from it but some of these men and women have no idea so they go around defining themselves by their material possessions (even though it may be on credit and they don't really "own" it)
Case in point, my neighbor, exhibit 3987:
Leaes a BMW
Buys lots of designer clothes and shoes on credit
Pays her credit card and have very little money left for food
Relies on dating multiple men to take her out to eat
Says there are no good men around other women to weed out potential women she wants to sleep with (she is bi)
Has a son who is 17yrs old and he stays with his father
Has fuck buddies and hates attachment from either men or women
Needs to stay single to survive cause anyone getting too close will see the mess her life is in.
She still says she can't find a good man.
That said, there are a lot of good women but sometimes it takes being a single mom for some of them to wake up. that's too late in some cases........
i admit I was a little naive as an immigrant but I never closed my eyes
Capitalism if you don't know what capitalism is.
If they understood capitalism to some degree then they would unhook their self-worth from it but some of these men and women have no idea so they go around defining themselves by their material possessions (even though it may be on credit and they don't really "own" it)
Case in point, my neighbor, exhibit 3987:
Leaes a BMW
Buys lots of designer clothes and shoes on credit
Pays her credit card and have very little money left for food
Relies on dating multiple men to take her out to eat
Says there are no good men around other women to weed out potential women she wants to sleep with (she is bi)
Has a son who is 17yrs old and he stays with his father
Has fuck buddies and hates attachment from either men or women
Needs to stay single to survive cause anyone getting too close will see the mess her life is in.
She still says she can't find a good man.
That said, there are a lot of good women but sometimes it takes being a single mom for some of them to wake up. that's too late in some cases........
Not exactly Capitalism, but the "Me first/gimme gimme" mentality of Capitalism.
AMEN.
Everything she says is a moot point if she looks like Susan Boyle.
Beauty still holds weight to most men...like about 99.999999999 percent of us.
*two cents*
Co-sign!
I try to explain this to some of my female friends and they always retort with "he should like me for my personality and the person within." My reply is usually "We don't get attracted to personalities first, the first thing we see is face, ass, tits and how you're styling. The personality comes later and we hope that it matches how you look."
Nature of man vs how they think we should think.
Same goes for us. No one is going to approach a guy who looks like Gollum. Its just sad that some people are all looks with nothing inside.
You can't speak for every single "peer" in your age bracket so you're not really in any position to know what they would or would not listen to.
If you're making positive progress in your own personal endeavours who's to say that other equally driv people are not doing the same?
Embracing pessimism is never a good look.
And whose fault is that?
You'd think that in this current age of rapid information dispersal and access more people would use available technology to get information for themselves instead of wallowing in the mire of ignorance.
There really is no excuse to allow lies and falsehoods from the past to negatively impact on ones future when the truth is actually out there X-Files style.
Dude, I'm into all straight attractive women regardless of ethnicity and I dont see why having Raquel Welch as my sig bothers you so much.
Since I'm not "with" a white woman as you put it I can't speak on a personal level but from a general perspective would one being with a partner of another ethnicity make one less likely to be understanding of or commited to standing firmly against issues affecting their own ethnicity in a negative way?
Electric Relaxation is of both African American & Japanese heritage but for all intents and purposes, she's as concious (if not moreso) of issues relating to being black and female seeking a suitably compatible mate as any other woman on this or any other site.
Or are you suggesting that she isn't commited to the cause due to her unique heritage?
co-sign 100%
what all these
"I'm a successful black woman , why can't I find a successful black man" women
care about is a brothers bank account
if she making 65k or more a year
she wants a brother making 65k or more a year
what she don't understand is that a brother making 65k or more a year
don't care if his woman making that much
all he cares about is that she can pay her own bills, is attractive, with a nice personality that's all a brother cares about
in fact if you a successful brother making real money
you probably don't want a career woman
you want a woman who is going to be more focused on being a mother and a wife, not some woman who is going to be working 12 hr days climbing the corporate ladder...
that's why successful brothers have no problem finding attractive women black, white, latino...etc..
Why would you assume that wolves (of any sort) are "descending" all because some of us are complimenting the positive sisters for dropping knowledge and their unique perspectives in this thread?
I see no logical reason to not be pleasant to Electric Relaxation, JO and followup due to the fact that they're actually giving objective commentary on a subject that usually leads to childish name calling on BGOL.
Besides, being a wolf in the true sense isn't a bad thing.
Afterall, they do mate for life.
Ah but...most of you ladies DO NOT APPROACH. So if anything you get mad at who approaches you. That's what a few brothas have been hinting at. If you have such great looks but feel you aren't getting what you want, then approach what you want! But that's too much like work for a lot of young ladies.
Sidenote: I notice a similar pattern among women of your age bracket. One thing I notice is the surety at which you speak. The last couple of early 20 somethings I have met have acted as though they have already lived life and completed all things adulthood before they started. Be patient and soak up the lessons a bit more. It sounds like you're just getting your feet wet but will be okay. My sound advice is ditch them dilly broads that you are hanging with.
The problem is majority of these women have no fucking clue HOW to be a wife, let alone be a MOTHER. They are raised by second generation chickenheads who raise these females to try and "out man the man."
I feel sorry for the decent black men looking to marry an American woman. The pickings are extremely slim.
Bro, I'm looking to visit the Stes sometime next year.
Looks like I may have to hit you up for some pointers as to what's good in your neck of the woods.
Sorry lady that is not the case....you know it.....and their are to many hot woman/ ugly man duo's to even worth debating it.
Nice try though.
*two cents*
They never do that.
It makes me laugh on how they talk about how they have a "friend" that's a whore, uses men, takes pride in being a dinner whore, and still remains friends with the bitch.
I figure if a person was toxic, a mooch, a leech, a PARASITE like this, then they would want to distance themselves from them.
No, they continue to hang with these females...these CREATURES, and I have no idea behind their logic in doing this.
But you and I both know that in some cases, when a woman approaches, some men feel emasculated and as a result of their own insecurities, they begin to make unwholesome assumptions about the virtue of the woman concerned.
Sidenote: I notice a similar pattern among women of your age bracket. One thing I notice is the surety at which you speak. The last couple of early 20 somethings I have met have acted as though they have already lived life and completed all things adulthood before they started. Be patient and soak up the lessons a bit more. It sounds like you're just getting your feet wet but will be okay. My sound advice is ditch them dilly broads that you are hanging with.[/QUOTE]
Most younger people (regardless of gender) tend to want to give off an aura of worldliness so there's nothing strange there.
But on a serious note, there are a lot of young people who are indeed wise beyond their years and capable of discerning the reality that lies beyond the gossamer veiled deception of modern day living so assuming naivity due to youth isn't wise and can be seen as being slightly patronizing.
But to be fair, some of us guys have friends who aren't much better either.
It's all about perspective homie.
Sup' bro, dropping some heat I see..........
You to bro.
This is the good stuff that makes one feel good.
Shooting the breeze with the brethren and sistren across the diaspora.
It's all gravy.
But to be fair, some of us guys have friends who aren't much better either.
Some men do. They get put in the same category.
I don't associate with parasites like that for the simple fact that I don't want to be lumped into the same unwholesome category as they are in.
You to bro.
This is the good stuff that makes one feel good.
Shooting the breeze with the brethren and sistren across the diaspora.
It's all gravy.
Need to hit up London next year, soon as this contract is up........
Might do that on the way to South Africa for the world Cup
You can't speak for every single "peer" in your age bracket so you're not really in any position to know what they would or would not listen to.
If you're making positive progress in your own personal endeavours who's to say that other equally driv people are not doing the same?
Embracing pessimism is never a good look.
I can speak for my peers just fine, you can look up the statistics if you want to, they're not going anywhere worth a damn EVER. I like equally driven people I associate with them and network with them, and they come in all races, mostly non-black.
I'm only going to learn web programming to make money, not help to try to tell ignorant niggas to shape up, they'd be too busy on worldstarhiphop.com anyway. Or on bgol dling porn lol EDIT: I answered this question incorrectly. The proper answer is, it's the white mans fault. If someone is taught Africa is horrible, ugly, stupid, dark, terrible etc the people from that continent will obviously feel the need to separate themselves from it. The white man teaches the black youth these things in school and television and it's passed down from generation to generation.
Dude, I'm into all straight attractive women regardless of ethnicity and I dont see why having Raquel Welch as my sig bothers you so much.
Thats fine, but this is why I tune revolutionaries out most of the time nowadays because they don't practice what they preach. Speak out against the enemy and them sleep with the enemy, makes no sense. That's why I decided to be my own free mind.
Yes. Because it's a demonstration of worship of the white race if ur with a white woman but talking black power this and black power that. You can't tell a black woman she's beautiful and it's ok to look how she looks while sitting there with a white woman. How would your white girl feel about you speaking out and fighting against her people's oppression everyday? If a white woman could stand being with you, day in and day out, then ur probably not too "fight the power" at home with her are you? You can't be 100% "down" if ur with a white woman, it's impossible, and silly to think that's the proper way to conduct your purpose. The fact that you, a revolutionary, would be willing to deal with the ridicule by blacks and white's while dumbing yourself down at times for the sake of your woman, instead of just finding one of the beautiful black women of the world to be with speaks volumes. Non-revolutionary minorities of other races don't even date out of the race typically, as just a standard custom.
I won't speak on her cuz I don't know her.
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Most younger people (regardless of gender) tend to want to give off an aura of worldliness so there's nothing strange there.
But on a serious note, there are a lot of young people who are indeed wise beyond their years and capable of discerning the reality that lies beyond the gossamer veiled deception of modern day living so assuming naivity due to youth isn't wise and can be seen as being slightly patronizing.
[/QUOTE]Agreed. Wasn't trying to be patronizing, but I remind a lot of them, because I was there myself, that they have a lot more living to do and they should look forward to it...good and bad. EL sounds like she's wise to a lot of things but I'm glad that she is also being given some different points of view which she can put in her pocket.
Need to hit up London next year, soon as this contract is up........
Might do that on the way to South Africa for the world Cup
Let a brother know when you plan on reaching.
We could always go down to the pub to chat up some crumpet over a pint or two.
Now that's real talk.
Got damn too many gems in this thread! That's why I love this place, when brothas aren't clowning so much debate is fostered!
Surprised at how this thread turned out but happy it's going the direction it did!
That my friend, is some positive knowledge posted.
I definitely agree.
man, this is the last time I'm going to post this.....
What do women really want, love or Power?? The educated man vs The Non-educated man is the first thing that comes into mind to most women, when they determine where they stand in a relationship. I see high amounts of men complaining that most women don't want a honest man, but a thug. Instead of looking at the physical, I decided to look deeper into the mental insecurities. Have you ever thought to yourself why would a woman be involved with a man that's less than she is and have no desire for enhancing his life? Maybe it because she have serious lack of confidences when it comes to her physical appearance, financial status...etc and the only way she see herself in a Secure Relationship is through gaining power devolped by covering those insecurities. You say No! Why else would a woman have a relationship with a man that in jail, selling drugs, and abusive?... She knows no matter what he says it dosen't mean anything because in reality she have control over him and he's not going anywhere. But, this does not apply to the educated man. When women with low-self esteem meet a educated man that she's attractive to, she will atomically try to figure out where she fits in to control him. Not realizing that he there on his own free will. Maybe if she show him the postive side of her and everything she has to offer, that might be enough for him to love her to stay without playing mindless games. Until all you men realize this that always complaining, women will be running this shit...
What do women really want, love or Power?? The educated man vs The Non-educated man is the first thing that comes into mind to most women, when they determine where they stand in a relationship. I see high amounts of men complaining that most women don't want a honest man, but a thug. Instead of looking at the physical, I decided to look deeper into the mental insecurities. Have you ever thought to yourself why would a woman be involved with a man that's less than she is and have no desire for enhancing his life? Maybe it because she have serious lack of confidences when it comes to her physical appearance, financial status...etc and the only way she see herself in a Secure Relationship is through gaining power devolped by covering those insecurities. You say No! Why else would a woman have a relationship with a man that in jail, selling drugs, and abusive?... She knows no matter what he says it dosen't mean anything because in reality she have control over him and he's not going anywhere. But, this does not apply to the educated man. When women with low-self esteem meet a educated man that she's attractive to, she will atomically try to figure out where she fits in to control him. Not realizing that he there on his own free will. Maybe if she show him the postive side of her and everything she has to offer, that might be enough for him to love her to stay without playing mindless games. Until all you men realize this that always complaining, women will be running this shit...
That's really the problem.
They have the mentality that it's a man's job to provide when in reality it isn't. In a sense their feminist when it comes to having things their way but when it comes to men their not and they expect things.
Basically a bunch of lost idiots who choose to go in a door and come out whenever they please but the door has remained open for the last 20 years.
You're independent (feminism) Don't take any lip (feminism) free to speak your mind (feminism) but you want a man to provide for you.
He must make a higher salary since he's the head of the household... but you take advantage of the modern day liberal movement when it's convenient to you.
.
Yea women want to be men and women when it's convenient lol The want to be women when it comes to paying bills and paying for dinner, taking half after divorce (child support alimony) and rings etc But they also want the control and power of a man; and honestly they're playing this new game very well, men go for it, they feel they have no choice. I did sales for years, American men of all races would say "I need to talk to my wife about it" when asked to make a decision with their own money. lol
Then maybe you need to change your surroundings or at least ditch your decidely droll perspective on things. I refuse to believe that there are no other equally driven and positive black people in your immeadiate vicinity or surroundings.
But then again, maybe they're not overly attracted to your pessimistic and defeatist mindset.
Nope, your response was very illuminating and probably more indicative of how you really feel about things in general.
In this very thread, serious knowledge is being dropped and we're all debating like adults with nary an insult thrown at anyone so far so I guess BGOL heads aren't that bad.
Maybe in the beginning this was the case but we are now living in the 21st century where practically everyone and anyone has access to information via the internet.
Ignorance is no longer a viable excuse in the face of such access to the information highway and for someone who actually aspires to be an active architect on this digital road, you really come across as being incredibly depressing and somewhat bleak in overall outlook.
I guess you weren't lying when you said that you have no emotion.
With your ol' Michael Myers non-emoting self.
You're mind isn't free if your kicking such non-productive and atavistic logic.
You need to open it up a bit more.
You seem to be really hung up on imagery and whatever stereotypical mindset you ascribe to what you assume a person may or not be into based on what they choose to post on this site.
That my friend, is not cool but just to put a smile on your face I'll oblige you just this once.
Am I black or revolutionary enough for you now?
Nope.
I didn't think so.
Nah bro, that's your interpretation.
My appreciation of Gods good work on Raquel Welch shows that I'm a healthy, red blooded heterosexual male who loves to see all beautiful women in all their myriad and glorious manifestations.
That's not just nature, it's freaking poetry.
Now will you please stop crying about my sig and its supposed symbolism.
Any white woman who got that close to me would know enough about me to recognize that I dont wear my feelings on my sleeve or play the role to appease anyone. (The same goes for all women regradless of ethnicity.)
As I said previously, I'm a take it or leave it kinda guy.
Dude, I lived, breathed and shat in Nigeria for thirteen solid years of my life and I can tell you now that I met more white women married to African men who could actually speak their husbands language fluently and cook Nigerian delicacies just as well as some of their Nigerian female counterparts.
Not every single brotha and sista rocking dreads or sporting Kente cloth is for the cause and you just may find yourself suprised or being made to look silly when you run across a non-black person who probably knows more about yourself than you do.
If I were to opt to settle down with a non-black woman why would I be concerned about the supposed ridicule of others? (black, white or any other variation.)
Why would I dumb down for her or anyone else?
With me it's a take or leave it proposition and I'd be damned if I buried my talents just live comfortably with someone who didn't respect or appreciate all of me.
That my friend, would not be revolutionary in the slightst.
Date out of the race? I thought we all belonged to one race.
The human race?
Probably the smartest thing you've said since you started posting on BGOL.
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