Stopped an unaliving last night even though I didnt want to

DJ

DJ

BGOL Legend
Super Moderator
Lets call my wife RiRi, and our Gf Alicia
I was eating dinner with my kids and wife last night. My daughters were at theyre mothers house for the weekend, and just came home.
My retirement is close and it is a big subject in my house because my daughters want to take a road trip down the coast to Florida and then across the country to Mexico. I agreed and said we can do it when the older one graduates hs, it would her graduation present and I should be retired or real close to it.
The younger daughter sophomore in says "mommy said you aint ever retiring, you like young girls and RiRi and Alicia wont stay young forever, you will be paying alimony for as long as you live"
My wife didnt say anything she just got up from the table, I knew she was hot to death. My daughter yells "RiRi you didnt asked to be excused from the table" I am like "now is not the time,"
I go out back to talk to my wife, she is livid, absolutely flipping, cussing bout my bm, screaming how she invited the bitch to our wedding, how she has never done anything but be nice to her. I agreed with her, told her chill.
She is like "I aint chilling shit, call the bitch right now, I aint no girl, I am a grown ass woman. Ill show her young girl, Im going to beat that bitches ass, I should drive over there now."
Im like nah baby, I dont want to have to bond you out, that aint the answer. Im like calm down, get your head straight and call her.
After about 30 mins or so, I end up calling her, my wife standing right next to me. I ask her why are you talking about my wife and telling my daughters I am going to be paying alimony and shit.
She starts to say, you know you only with her for arm candy and blah, blah, blah.
My wife snatches the phone and proceeds to go off calling her every derogatory name possible and tells her next time she sees her she is going to beat her to death.
Here is the problem, my wife drops the kids off sometime to theyre moms, and sometime my bm will pick them up from my house while my wife is home and I am not.
I am sure my will get over it in time, but for now this shit is a huge problem.
 
DJ said:
Luck aint gonna fix this shit.
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Thats true as fuck...your kids mother aint doing your peace and quiet any favors at all

Beyond trying to minimize their interactions and letting time do its thing, not much you can do more than to let your wife know she right to feel the way that she feels and you will put your kids mother in check...but its a real messed up situation
 
slewdem100 said:
Thats true as fuck...your kids mother aint doing your peace and quiet any favors at all

Beyond trying to minimize their interactions and letting time do its thing, not much you can do more than to let your wife know she right to feel the way that she feels and you will put your kids mother in check...but its a real messed up situation
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I told my wife, I get it, I truly understand her anger and if it was me in the same situation I would want to react as well. I told her my bm is just on some straight hating shit because after 10 years and 2 kids she aint get a ring and my wife did.
I have full custody of my daughters and no visitation order in place, visitation is solely at my discretion. They go when they want to go, and in all actuality its not that often, the last time they went for the weekend was halloween last year. They really dont like going to my bm house because she lives in apartment, dont have a yarrd, no friends there and all the rest of the shit that comes with being away from home.
Im going to talk to them tonight and see how they feel about not going until I can get this shit situated and under control.
 
Sounds like you're surrounded by a bunch of women that need a reminder....

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Another thing is your gonna have to talk to your daughters about not throwing gasoline on the fire as well. I'm wondering if they feel a certain way about the wife. Especially the you didn't excuse yourself from the table comment. Seems like there's more to it there.





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Seeing what fools are going through on their jobs nowadays, retirement is nice. Many people are unable to retire due to the lack of pensions or 401(k).

Even before DOGE, the federal government was a horrible low paying employer, making false promises of job stability or being hired permanently to get you to accept a low wage as a contractor. Now that they have been exposed, contractors will start demanding much higher pay.

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They are going through a new fad of firing people, making it seem cool. Many of these entities have to wage fix to get you to work for them when they get this bad reputation as an employer.
 
I wish you the best, but god damn this shit is a lot of stress for you.

That's some shit I would never want to deal with.

Women are emotional creatures and will do some shit when they're upset but later regret because they don't be thinking straight.

Trust, I've had to calm a girl I used to be in a relationship with because she would be ready to kill somebody over some bullshit. But I was able to calm her down. But when we broke up and she got with someone else, she got into a fight and killed somebody, now in jail for the rest of her life. :smh:
 
jack walsh13 said:
Another thing is your gonna have to talk to your daughters about not throwing gasoline on the fire as well. I'm wondering if they feel a certain way about the wife. Especially the you didn't excuse yourself from the table comment. Seems like there's more to it there.





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I did ask my daughter about that.
She said she don't want RiRi to leave, she loves her and she dont like when her mom talks about RiRi. I explained to her that her mom was lowkey taking a shot at me.
I told her RiRi not going anywhere, she always going to be there, I aint getting rid of her, I didnt marry her to get rid of her.
I told her next time her mom has anything to say about my relationship, just tell her if you have something to say about my father you should call him, if she has a problem with it call me and I will come pick her up.
 
jawnswoop said:
I wish you the best, but god damn this shit is a lot of stress for you.

That's some shit I would never want to deal with.

Women are emotional creatures and will do some shit when they're upset but later regret because they don't be thinking straight.

Trust, I've had to calm a girl I used to be in a relationship with because she would be ready to kill somebody over some bullshit. But I was able to calm her down. But when we broke up and she got with someone else, she got into a fight and killed somebody, now in jail for the rest of her life. :smh:
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Man its crazy.
Wifey and bm never really had a problem up until this point.
I give major props to my wife for being cordial and cool with my bm and taking care of my daughters like she birthed them.
My bm is dead ass wrong, no reason to involve my daughters in this shit, she should appreciate and be thankful for everything my wife is doing that she aint.
I know its straight jealousy, but we talking about a 52 yo woman, thats some real high school kiddy shit.
 
DJ said:
Man its crazy.
Wifey and bm never really had a problem up until this point.
I give major props to my wife for being cordial and cool with my bm and taking care of my daughters like she birthed them.
My bm is dead ass wrong, no reason to involve my daughters in this shit, she should appreciate and be thankful for everything my wife is doing that she aint.
I know its straight jealousy, but we talking about a 52 yo woman, thats some real high school kiddy shit.
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I hope everything is smooth out.
Maybe therapy could help,
But the best of luck to y'all.
 
kids mother is hating and your daughter is feeding into it...curtis mayfield has a song called love me in the pockets,,so she thinks
you like'em young you gone stay paying cause you have a turn over and you current wife think her time is coming to an end..so
of course she gone feel some type of way,,any bitch dont want to loose how good things are now...now i could say this is an easy
fix but it aint..now if you aint talmbout cleaning house and starting over you gone have so side with you current and give her some
piece of mind that she is here to stay..hate to say this but you gone have to take side's and stand on it...
 
DJ said:
I did ask my daughter about that.
She said she don't want RiRi to leave, she loves her and she dont like when her mom talks about RiRi. I explained to her that her mom was lowkey taking a shot at me.
I told her RiRi not going anywhere, she always going to be there, I aint getting rid of her, I didnt marry her to get rid of her.
I told her next time her mom has anything to say about my relationship, just tell her if you have something to say about my father you should call him, if she has a problem with it call me and I will come pick her up.
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Right. Tell mom to keep the kids out of it. They don't deserve to deal with that nonsense



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big enos burrnet said:
kids mother is hating and your daughter is feeding into it...curtis mayfield has a song called love me in the pockets,,so she thinks
you like'em young you gone stay paying cause you have a turn over and you current wife think her time is coming to an end..so
of course she gone feel some type of way,,any bitch dont want to loose how good things are now...now i could say this is an easy
fix but it aint..now if you aint talmbout cleaning house and starting over you gone have so side with you current and give her some
piece of mind that she is here to stay..hate to say this but you gone have to take side's and stand on it...
Click to expand...

This my first marriage, I waited this long because I only want to the shit one time and I wanted to make sure I chose the right one. I have no intention of divorcing my wife or trading her in for a newer model.
 
If they respect you they will respectfully mind their business and not repeat anything their mother has to say about what you're doing,what you plan on doing,your wife and things like that.Your wife has to learn not to be triggered by what they say because that's the reason why their saying it...is to make her feel some type of way or to get a reaction and it did.They have to stop all of that shit because it's not going to change a thing but the relationship you have with them indiviually .

No one wants to hear certain opinions,unless we're just pass it around and you may not like everyone's opinion but don't start no shit and there wont be no shit....simple as that.Your wife,after explaining jail,court visits,lawyers,time and money an ass whooping wouldn't be worth it because your ex will probably show up to court with a smile and a neck brace on
 
DJ said:
This my first marriage, I waited this long because I only want to the shit one time and I wanted to make sure I chose the right one. I have no intention of divorcing my wife or trading her in for a newer model.
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like i say take sides and stand on it...so when you wife gets madd play tha role and get madd with her...just to show her that you care...:yes:
 
blaze said:
Yo! Just reading that sentence, it sounds like you in a throuple. Is that right or do you just have a wife and a baby momma?
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I have a wife, her and I share a gf. I guess you could call it a throuple. Its a poly relationship, we are committed to our gf and she is committed to us.
My bm and I have been split up for about 10 yrs.

This will explain it more.

So my wife and our gf both want a baby. This was my Christmas gift.

I am in a poly relationship, I had talked about this before here. I just turned 52, my fiancee / wife will be 30 in March, date set for August 2023, our girlfriend is 28. Wifey and I been together for 3 years, gf 1 year. We had a beautiful Christmas, gifts and all spent the the whole day...
www.bgol.us
 
big enos burrnet said:
kids mother is hating and your daughter is feeding into it...curtis mayfield has a song called love me in the pockets,,so she thinks
you like'em young you gone stay paying cause you have a turn over and you current wife think her time is coming to an end..so
of course she gone feel some type of way,,any bitch dont want to loose how good things are now...now i could say this is an easy
fix but it aint..now if you aint talmbout cleaning house and starting over you gone have so side with you current and give her some
piece of mind that she is here to stay..hate to say this but you gone have to take side's and stand on it...
Click to expand...
I was just gonna say that the daughter ain't innocent in this shit :smh:
 
DJ said:
I have a wife, her and I share a gf. I guess you could call it a throuple. Its a poly relationship, we are committed to our gf and she is committed to us.
My bm and I have been split up for about 10 yrs.

This will explain it more.

So my wife and our gf both want a baby. This was my Christmas gift.

I am in a poly relationship, I had talked about this before here. I just turned 52, my fiancee / wife will be 30 in March, date set for August 2023, our girlfriend is 28. Wifey and I been together for 3 years, gf 1 year. We had a beautiful Christmas, gifts and all spent the the whole day...
www.bgol.us
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Got it. That's where the "young girls" comment came from. Several things:
  1. Your bm is clearly on that ex shit and she is in her 50's. I think that she feels that the reason that you are not with her or the reason that you left her is because she got old. I mean you not only have a wife younger than her, you got a gf even younger than that! You better believe she feel some type of way about that shit. If that's true, so be it. But if that's not the case, she need to know that. The problem is that discussions like that usually come with lots of screaming and cussing. But I guess it's that or she have an "on site" relationship with your ladies.
  2. It's a shame that your kids end up getting caught in the middle of that drama. I'm hoping that you find the words to usher them through and keep them well adjusted because you have quite a bit going on.
  3. Also, what did ya'll end up deciding about the breeding situation?
 
34real said:
If they respect you they will respectfully mind their business and not repeat anything their mother has to say about what you're doing,what you plan on doing,your wife and things like that.Your wife has to learn not to be triggered by what they say because that's the reason why their saying it...is to make her feel some type of way or to get a reaction and it did.They have to stop all of that shit because it's not going to change a thing but the relationship you have with them indiviually .

No one wants to hear certain opinions,unless we're just pass it around and you may not like everyone's opinion but don't start no shit and there wont be no shit....simple as that.Your wife,after explaining jail,court visits,lawyers,time and money an ass whooping wouldn't be worth it because your ex will probably show up to court with a smile and a neck brace on
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My daughter said it because she is not really fond of her mom and they always let me know when she got some slick shit to say about me. They have a loyalty t me and they dont let anyone talk crazy on me. They love my wife, and dont want anyone talking shit about her either. I have sole custody of my girls, I have since they where children and they have always lived with me, they know who takes care of them.
 
blaze said:
Got it. That's where the "young girls" comment came from. Several things:
  1. Your bm is clearly on that ex shit and she is in her 50's. I think that she feels that the reason that you are not with her or the reason that you left her is because she got old. I mean you not only have a wife younger than her, you got a gf even younger than that! You better believe she feel some type of way about that shit. If that's true, so be it. But if that's not the case, she need to know that. The problem is that discussions like that usually come with lots of screaming and cussing. But I guess it's that or she have an "on site" relationship with your ladies.
  2. It's a shame that your kids end up getting caught in the middle of that drama. I'm hoping that you find the words to usher them through and keep them well adjusted because you have quite a bit going on.
  3. Also, what did ya'll end up deciding about the breeding situation?
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The age part had noting to do with why I aint with her, as she got older she just got more irresponsible and lazy, and her mouth just got bigger and more absurd.

Well after talking with my wife we decided, she is going to have a kid this year, and we have been very actively working on that, one more kid next year, marry our gf and then one kid with her. I will be retired when they are all ready for school, and they will all be n the same age bracket when they attend.
 
DJ said:
Theyre mom put them in grown folks business, mind you they were making sure that I knew they mom was talking greasy about me and my wife.
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I understand. However, they could have made you aware of the disrespect from their mom without putting you at odds with your wife. Discretion matters
 
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