Okay.. I thought that this movie was an EXCELLENT science fiction film, but- for me, at least- this storyline (and, because of this movie, The Force Awakens) would be FAR better as an expanded universe/ non-canon novelization of what happens post EP VI.
I LOVED:
1. The Sith Acolyte/Kylo-Rey fight. That scene brought back memories of trying to beat those red mfs on "The Force Unleashed."
2. The light speed jump directly into enemy battlecruisers. Always wondered what would happen if someone turned their ship into a hyperspace missile.
3. The ability of the Jedi to create force projections of themselves across nearly unlimited amounts of space.
4. Poe's handling of the X-Wing in the opening scene. Beautiful.
5. The MILF hips on the purple-haired lady. Don't judge me.
I HATED:
1. Glaring continuity problems between the first and second movies. HOW did the Empire go from "on the fringes" to "First Order taking over" in the space of the few minutes between the first movie's ending and the second movie's beginning?
2. Grumpy hermit Luke hiding out on the island. That ain't Skywalker. I don't think he ever would have chosen to kill his nephew (or ignite a lightsaber, or sneak into his bedroom while his nephew was sleeping, etc.) no matter how much darkness he saw.
3. The new emo goth Kylo. Sith are pure passion, hate, and lust for power, not weepy, moody, emotionally unstable psych ward patients. Yes, Vader stood out because of his conflict, but we didn't even see a hint of that conflict until the end of EPV and EPVI. Kylo doesn't need redemption, he just needs a Xanax. His "I'mma kill off parents until I'm mad enough to be a good Sith lord" is on some depression, angst-filled BS.
4. EVERYBODY needs training to handle swords and fighting styles, much less light sabers.
5. Leia's "Superman" flight scene. Yes, powerful/ trained Jedi can create force bubbles to withstand the elements/ environment, but I think it could have been done more effectively as a problem within the ship (plasma explosion where she saves Ackbar or something like that. Speaking of Ackbar..)
6. Ackbar should have been given a better death. He didn't even get to observe whether or not the bridge blowing out was a trap or not.
7. For Snoke to be the Supreme Leader and all-powerful, he sure got murked pretty easily. How do you read minds and not notice your moody apprentice twisting the business end of a lightsaber toward your chest?? How does your security team put up a better fight than you do???
8. Constant discussion/reliance on the fact that Finn was in "sanitation" and knew the layout of the ship from having worked in it. Yes, he could have been an elite trooper, and sanitation could refer to them mopping up innocent civilians, etc. but still??
9. Movement away from developing Finn's force sensitivity. I was SO hoping he would take out a hidden lightsaber from his jacket and engage in a stunning fight scene, but NOOOOO....
Here's some Star Wars women for your time (yes, they are melanin-deprived, but we haven't quite caught up to sci-fi cosplay just yet):
I LOVED:
1. The Sith Acolyte/Kylo-Rey fight. That scene brought back memories of trying to beat those red mfs on "The Force Unleashed."
2. The light speed jump directly into enemy battlecruisers. Always wondered what would happen if someone turned their ship into a hyperspace missile.
3. The ability of the Jedi to create force projections of themselves across nearly unlimited amounts of space.
4. Poe's handling of the X-Wing in the opening scene. Beautiful.
5. The MILF hips on the purple-haired lady. Don't judge me.
I HATED:
1. Glaring continuity problems between the first and second movies. HOW did the Empire go from "on the fringes" to "First Order taking over" in the space of the few minutes between the first movie's ending and the second movie's beginning?
2. Grumpy hermit Luke hiding out on the island. That ain't Skywalker. I don't think he ever would have chosen to kill his nephew (or ignite a lightsaber, or sneak into his bedroom while his nephew was sleeping, etc.) no matter how much darkness he saw.
3. The new emo goth Kylo. Sith are pure passion, hate, and lust for power, not weepy, moody, emotionally unstable psych ward patients. Yes, Vader stood out because of his conflict, but we didn't even see a hint of that conflict until the end of EPV and EPVI. Kylo doesn't need redemption, he just needs a Xanax. His "I'mma kill off parents until I'm mad enough to be a good Sith lord" is on some depression, angst-filled BS.
4. EVERYBODY needs training to handle swords and fighting styles, much less light sabers.
5. Leia's "Superman" flight scene. Yes, powerful/ trained Jedi can create force bubbles to withstand the elements/ environment, but I think it could have been done more effectively as a problem within the ship (plasma explosion where she saves Ackbar or something like that. Speaking of Ackbar..)
6. Ackbar should have been given a better death. He didn't even get to observe whether or not the bridge blowing out was a trap or not.
7. For Snoke to be the Supreme Leader and all-powerful, he sure got murked pretty easily. How do you read minds and not notice your moody apprentice twisting the business end of a lightsaber toward your chest?? How does your security team put up a better fight than you do???
8. Constant discussion/reliance on the fact that Finn was in "sanitation" and knew the layout of the ship from having worked in it. Yes, he could have been an elite trooper, and sanitation could refer to them mopping up innocent civilians, etc. but still??
9. Movement away from developing Finn's force sensitivity. I was SO hoping he would take out a hidden lightsaber from his jacket and engage in a stunning fight scene, but NOOOOO....
Here's some Star Wars women for your time (yes, they are melanin-deprived, but we haven't quite caught up to sci-fi cosplay just yet):
Mild again. Clone Wars is top 3 in the franchise. Out of respect for Leia's passing. I won't completely shit on this "movie,"this time.
