How can you tell a Mexican woman is on her period?
She’s only wearing one sock
She’s only wearing one sock
I just heard a good joke. Y'all got any?
- Thread starter CoTtOnMoUf
- Start date
A old man staggers into a bar. He steps up to a twenty something man drinking a beer.
"hey buddy" slurs the old man "I just fucked your mother."
The young man ignores him. The old man continues
"Hey buddy I bent your mother over the couch. Rammed it in her cunt and busted on her ass."
The young man sighs and sips his beer. The old man continues.
"Yunno, I think I'm gonna fuck your mother again."
The young man had enough. He turns to the old man and says
"Dad, you're drunk. Go home."
"hey buddy" slurs the old man "I just fucked your mother."
The young man ignores him. The old man continues
"Hey buddy I bent your mother over the couch. Rammed it in her cunt and busted on her ass."
The young man sighs and sips his beer. The old man continues.
"Yunno, I think I'm gonna fuck your mother again."
The young man had enough. He turns to the old man and says
"Dad, you're drunk. Go home."
A bum walks into a bar. He lays a $10 bill on the table and orders a beer. The bartender serves him, the bum downs it and begins to cry.
"Hey what wrong?" asks the bartender.
The sobbing bum replies "I just sold my daughter to a pimp to buy that beer and I really wish I had her back."
The shocked bartender says "Wow, that's awful. you must really miss her."
"Fuck no" says the bum "I just want another beer."
"Hey what wrong?" asks the bartender.
The sobbing bum replies "I just sold my daughter to a pimp to buy that beer and I really wish I had her back."
The shocked bartender says "Wow, that's awful. you must really miss her."
"Fuck no" says the bum "I just want another beer."
For the political heads:
French President Emmanuel Macron is giving a speech on the front lawn of the Mayor's office in Pine Bluff Arkansas. He wears a beautiful blue suit and a Davie Crocket style cap. It's 100 degrees and the president is drowning in sweat. Drenched and light headed he is approached by a local reporter.
"Mr. President" she says "That was a wonderful speech, but what's with the headgear?"
"Oh this?" He replies in his thick French accent "My mistress stopped by as I was packing my suitcase. She say's 'Emmanuel, where are you going?' I told her that the good people of Pine Bluff had asked to make a speech. She say 'Pine Bluff? Wear the fox hat."
French President Emmanuel Macron is giving a speech on the front lawn of the Mayor's office in Pine Bluff Arkansas. He wears a beautiful blue suit and a Davie Crocket style cap. It's 100 degrees and the president is drowning in sweat. Drenched and light headed he is approached by a local reporter.
"Mr. President" she says "That was a wonderful speech, but what's with the headgear?"
"Oh this?" He replies in his thick French accent "My mistress stopped by as I was packing my suitcase. She say's 'Emmanuel, where are you going?' I told her that the good people of Pine Bluff had asked to make a speech. She say 'Pine Bluff? Wear the fox hat."
What is the difference between a porn star and a rooster?
The rooster says "Cock a diddle do"
The porn star says 'Any Cock'll do"
The rooster says "Cock a diddle do"
The porn star says 'Any Cock'll do"
A pregnant woman from Virginia was involved in a car accident and, while in the hospital, she fell into a coma.
When she awoke days later, the woman noticed that she was no longer carrying a child, and asked, "Doc, what happened to my baby!"
The doctor replied, "Ma'am, you've had twins! You're the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, your brother named the children for you."
"Oh, no!" shrieked the woman. "Not my brother! He's not really all together, if you know what I mean!"
The doctor replied, "Well, ma'am, your brother named your daughter Deniece."
"Oh, that's not so bad," smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor grinned and said, "Denephew."
When she awoke days later, the woman noticed that she was no longer carrying a child, and asked, "Doc, what happened to my baby!"
The doctor replied, "Ma'am, you've had twins! You're the proud mother of a handsome baby boy and a beautiful baby girl. Also, you should know that while you were in a coma, your brother named the children for you."
"Oh, no!" shrieked the woman. "Not my brother! He's not really all together, if you know what I mean!"
The doctor replied, "Well, ma'am, your brother named your daughter Deniece."
"Oh, that's not so bad," smiled the woman. Then, hesitantly, she asked, "What's the boy's name?"
The doctor grinned and said, "Denephew."
Maria, a devout Catholic, got married and had 15 children. After her first husband died, she remarried and had 15 more children. A few weeks after her second husband died, Maria also passed away.
At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but did you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "No I meant her legs."
At Maria's funeral, the priest looked skyward and said, "At last, they're finally together." Her sister sitting in the front row said, "Excuse me, Father, but did you mean she and her first husband, or she and her second husband?" The priest replied, "No I meant her legs."
This dude was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was really pissed. She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE!"
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Dude hasn't been since Friday.
The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway. Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought the box back in the house. She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale. Dude hasn't been since Friday.
I’m either too dumb to get that joke or I’m not part of the intended audience. Someone please explain.
These 2 guys are drinking at a bar, when the first guys says, "You know, when the wind is blowing east to west, you can jump off the building and it'll blow you back up on the roof." The second guy calls bullshit, so they go up to the roof and the first guy says, "Watch this." He jumps and gently floats back to the top of the building. The second guy says, "Holy shit! Do that again?", and the guy does it again, and again, he floats back to the top of the building. The second guy tries it, hits the ground and breaks both legs and his pelvis and the first guy laughs so hard, he has tears streaming down his face. After the ambulance leaves, the first guy goes back inside the bar and orders another drink. After he gets his drink, the bartender looks at him says, "You know what? You're a complete asshole when you drink, Superman."
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What's the difference between a Hippo
and a Zippo?
One is really heavy and the other
is a little lighter.
Red State...Faux Views
Wearing the Fox hat, as in speak THEIR language, so to speak.
I say GOT DAYUM!
"Where the fuck's that" said in a French accent sounds very close to "wear the fox hat"
Eric Trump: "Daddy, what does 'degenerate' mean?"
Donald Trump: "son, shut up and keep sucking."
Donald Trump: "son, shut up and keep sucking."
Wear the fox hat = Where the fuck is that?
The difference between a smart midget and a venereal disease?
One is a cunning runt.....
What do you call a Jamaican bee?
A bumbleclot
A bumbleclot
What is the difference between R Kelly and chupacabra?
One is a nocturnal monster that terrorizes children and the other is a goat
One is a nocturnal monster that terrorizes children and the other is a goat
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Haha
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