How are you? Mental Health Check-In
- Thread starter cocobeauty
- Start date
Going to hit fiddy fo on the 23rd.
Job is decent, but I feel being black in this workforce the sword of Damocles is always hanging above our head.
Since the passing of my wife of 25 yrs, a few years ago I have found love again.
She's a great woman with a kind giving spirit who loves me to death.
I am super grateful that she understands I am like a joined trill, my wife's spirit and our memories are always with me (it always comes back to star trek or star wars.)
Thanks for this thread @cocobeauty it is very therapeutic and necessary!
Job is decent, but I feel being black in this workforce the sword of Damocles is always hanging above our head.
Since the passing of my wife of 25 yrs, a few years ago I have found love again.
She's a great woman with a kind giving spirit who loves me to death.
I am super grateful that she understands I am like a joined trill, my wife's spirit and our memories are always with me (it always comes back to star trek or star wars.)
Thanks for this thread @cocobeauty it is very therapeutic and necessary!
My condolences and I wish you the best on getting the house sold.
Congratulations on finding love again! This made me smile.Going to hit fiddy fo on the 23rd.
Job is decent, but I feel being black in this workforce the sword of Damocles is always hanging above our head.
Since the passing of my wife of 25 yrs, a few years ago I have found love again.
She's a great woman with a kind giving spirit who loves me to death.
I am super grateful that she understands I am like a joined trill, my wife's spirit and our memories are always with me (it always comes back to star trek or star wars.)
Thanks for this thread @cocobeauty it is very therapeutic and necessary!
I'm glad I decided to do it as well, because I was hesitant because of how the personalities were years ago on here, but I also realized how much we've grown too and sometimes it's just good to get this stuff out.
And Happy Early Birthday!!
God bless you for this @cocobeauty
Coco, I know you hate my guts but I appreciate you and this thread.
As I sit up at 1:40am buzzing with a constant anxiety that I can't seem to shake, about some serious issues and no real support system ... I'm trying to tell myself like Gunna said...
"I'm aight but it ain't ok"
As I sit up at 1:40am buzzing with a constant anxiety that I can't seem to shake, about some serious issues and no real support system ... I'm trying to tell myself like Gunna said...
"I'm aight but it ain't ok"
I'm trying my best to make peace on here like I do in real life. Don't make sense to log in and volunteer for negativity.
Say sorry move on dont repeat the infraction. Or put them on ignore and dont engage, never address it again
You need to protect your space.
Deep breathing. Calm yourself. Think positive. A little meditation or yoga helps.
its gonna get better.
I have been mentally burned out since the first Trump Era and this second Trump Era has only made it worse. I'm physically burned out from decades of doing the job I do. I got a letter from my job earlier in the year telling me that I now qualify for early retirement any time after Oct 1st this year. I have been ready to go for YEARS, but now that I have this letter and Oct is here ... I don't know, maybe I will just work less for a few more years and dip out when I am completely done with all the bullshit, then there are other days when I wake up and feel like going upstairs and signing those early retirement papers before I have to clock in for the day.
Loving life! Enjoying one day at a time! Married, wifey and i just celebrated 19 years in the game..drove on down to smokey mountains (pigeon forge) hung out for a week now back to the real world! Work is just fine, i have no complaints, just learning more about my indian history.. (cherokee)
some keys to life love as it comes and change it where u see fit! Meditation, a positive mindset (even when your going through something) and some few minutes a day to yourself in many cases can keep you square! I also take many different herbs to give my body some f its balance back and the nutrients it needs!! Beautiful thread! Much love to my internet fam!!
some keys to life love as it comes and change it where u see fit! Meditation, a positive mindset (even when your going through something) and some few minutes a day to yourself in many cases can keep you square! I also take many different herbs to give my body some f its balance back and the nutrients it needs!! Beautiful thread! Much love to my internet fam!!
Bruh, i agree with this foreal! Working less in your retirement years is just fine! Just keeping busy is all many need to do...i have a few retired friend and my wife...wife be going crazy with nothing to do my neighbor the same way, but my other 2 buddies they picked up full time jobs just to keep moving.. but their jobs aren't stressful..just something to do! much love to whichever way you decide to move forward with!
Dawg you know it all luv over here… you’re too valuable to willingly removed yourself from your folks
Also if you want to come south for a little while, there’s work down here.
I know they need bull riggers badly, their getting something like $39/$80
You know us NOLA boys gotta stick together out chere. I am around when you need me man.
This was one of the things they preached in the Navy. Don't "retire" find something else your body and mind are used to going 1000 miles an hour. To just stop cold turkey will kill you faster than anything else. I know tons of people who just faded away within 5-8 years of retiring at the ripe old age of 38.
I am going to retire soon probably next 2 years and I am debating moving back to Va Bch or going out the country. Have to find a lifestyle fit that will allow me my beach life but also allow me to do stuff to stay engaged.
Reading this thread, of my bgol family, made me connect it to words sung by Anita Baker "if I could I'd give you the world, wrap it all around you"
Often we do so much for others we forget to self-enquire about ourselves. Indeed, I wouldn't change a thing, but im reminded that if we don't take care of self we may not be able to help others. And I'd hate that. Or maybe I just like control, do things this way it'll be better for you, fog clears and I realise it was only better for me. And I hate that too.
How's my mental health? Its complicated. I'm OK tho bgol fam, I have good body health, only recently suffered from a frozen shoulder which is now almost completely mended. I'm very close with family and we just took a big family holiday to Jamaica in June, which was fuckin amazing and beautiful, our second actually, first being in 2022.
Work is all good and Im stable and grateful. Could certainly be happier in love but im working on it..we're working on it.
I'm good, but I worry about everyone I care about, that definitely includes my bgol family too. We really must make the very most of our times and moments together online here at bgol. Its special, it means something, it has history, dedication and tradition. It has friendship and even reliance, so many of us have helped the other in ways we may never fully know. I would lose a part of me to lose what we have here. Look at this very thread created by our good sista cocobeauty. It proves we are much more than just a message board, we're 'I care'
we're 'I wanna know' we're 'Can I help' we're 'real people not just a name tag'
Thank you for this thread, sista Coco, its very necessary.
TEN
Often we do so much for others we forget to self-enquire about ourselves. Indeed, I wouldn't change a thing, but im reminded that if we don't take care of self we may not be able to help others. And I'd hate that. Or maybe I just like control, do things this way it'll be better for you, fog clears and I realise it was only better for me. And I hate that too.
How's my mental health? Its complicated. I'm OK tho bgol fam, I have good body health, only recently suffered from a frozen shoulder which is now almost completely mended. I'm very close with family and we just took a big family holiday to Jamaica in June, which was fuckin amazing and beautiful, our second actually, first being in 2022.
Work is all good and Im stable and grateful. Could certainly be happier in love but im working on it..we're working on it.
I'm good, but I worry about everyone I care about, that definitely includes my bgol family too. We really must make the very most of our times and moments together online here at bgol. Its special, it means something, it has history, dedication and tradition. It has friendship and even reliance, so many of us have helped the other in ways we may never fully know. I would lose a part of me to lose what we have here. Look at this very thread created by our good sista cocobeauty. It proves we are much more than just a message board, we're 'I care'
we're 'I wanna know' we're 'Can I help' we're 'real people not just a name tag'
Thank you for this thread, sista Coco, its very necessary.
TEN
Thanks @cocobeauty for this thread. 
As for me, like many others, this political environment weighs on me. I know they say "dont stress over things you can't control" and I do my best by avoiding most news and not visiting the political threads here daily. Compounding that, I feel some kind of way when I see people laughing and posting jokes about this crap... to me, none of it is funny.
Outside of politics, life is good besides a few people in my circle affected by the shutdown. Oldest is a full time Civil Engineer with his FE, and scheduled to take his PE. Youngest 2 are almost done with high school. Keeping myself busy with hobbies, learning and traveling. Not sure if I mentioned it previously, but I started having bi-weekly video calls with my family during COVID, and years later we still do them. It has become a staple of my Pops routine. I love the fact that he is always the first to join. The conversations / stories / laughs are priceless.
As for me, like many others, this political environment weighs on me. I know they say "dont stress over things you can't control" and I do my best by avoiding most news and not visiting the political threads here daily. Compounding that, I feel some kind of way when I see people laughing and posting jokes about this crap... to me, none of it is funny.
Outside of politics, life is good besides a few people in my circle affected by the shutdown. Oldest is a full time Civil Engineer with his FE, and scheduled to take his PE. Youngest 2 are almost done with high school. Keeping myself busy with hobbies, learning and traveling. Not sure if I mentioned it previously, but I started having bi-weekly video calls with my family during COVID, and years later we still do them. It has become a staple of my Pops routine. I love the fact that he is always the first to join. The conversations / stories / laughs are priceless.
Update:
I just got off the phone with the new project manager that is in charge of where I used to work. Although he won't know specifics until the shutdown is over, my name is floating around as a prospect so it's just a waiting game. Luckily for me I saved like crazy during the pandemic and have something to fall back on. I just applied to unemployment so I'll have a few dollars coming in for that.
Looking for a new job is pretty much futile. If you don't have a secret or higher clearance, tech jobs are pretty much boxed out right now. I'll never forgive these mufuckas for what they are doing to this area. The National Guard's presence in D.C. doesn't even bother me as much as the damage to the local economy. It's going to be a long, nasty winter.
Some of my homies have called and checked up on me so that is reassuring. A lot of us are going through it right now.
I just got off the phone with the new project manager that is in charge of where I used to work. Although he won't know specifics until the shutdown is over, my name is floating around as a prospect so it's just a waiting game. Luckily for me I saved like crazy during the pandemic and have something to fall back on. I just applied to unemployment so I'll have a few dollars coming in for that.
Looking for a new job is pretty much futile. If you don't have a secret or higher clearance, tech jobs are pretty much boxed out right now. I'll never forgive these mufuckas for what they are doing to this area. The National Guard's presence in D.C. doesn't even bother me as much as the damage to the local economy. It's going to be a long, nasty winter.
Some of my homies have called and checked up on me so that is reassuring. A lot of us are going through it right now.
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I honestly don't remember why I hate, you so that should tell you I don't...hate you. You more than likely became disrespectful at some point, but it's water under the bridge because I refuse to go dig up the why.
But what ever it is what that last line, you are aight and you will get through whatever it is.
I thought you were good. Either way I'm thankful for @Mask and @cap213 too for just keeping you hanging on.
My anxiety is bad, but mine has caused me to become more of an introvert and I value my peace but some days I'm wondering if my liking being alone so much is becoming unhealthy and therefore I put myself back in Therapy.
My problem was it's easy for me to make people think all is ok until I have to remind myself it's really not.
I wish you the best and I sincerely pray things get better.
My wife is dealing with menopause and I’m just trying be supportive it’s hard because at times I just don’t know what to do
Thank you!
Agreed re: retirement.
Thought I'd share the following re: my mom in retirement. She turned 75 last month, and has been retired since her early-60s. She worked as an RN / RPN for just over 30 years. Various work environments. Some stressful, and others not so much. She moved away just over 15 years ago and has thrived in retirement.
She's always been healthy. I.E. - plenty of walking / normal body weight / played 40+ soccer for a number of years back in the day.
When she retired she did a little bit of oncall work, but then had enough. Her key to staying happy / healthy has been the hobbies and activities. She's been a part of a dragonboat team for 15 years. She still actively walks ALOT. For a few years she didn't have a car, and relied on walking damn near everywhere (as she lived about 10 mins from downtown). Put her backpack on, and got to walking or taking public transit. She drives again now, but still gets her walks in. Goes to the gym a few times a week for aerobics and a little bit of weight-training.
Actively travels ... has been to Mexico, Australia, Spain, Italy, China, and India since the mid-2000s.
Been living common-law with her boyfriend since 2017 and they bought a home together. He's a few years older and a cool guy. Low-key and quiet. He isn't about the stress or bullshit. Smokes a joint and has a cup of tea or decaf coffee on the deck after dinner, lol. Like any 78yo, right?
She has volunteered for a few places over the years.
Was in a co-ed choir for a few years in the 2010s, and in ukelele and book clubs now. They either meet in person or over Zoom.
Her and the boyfriend go out for dinner and a movie most Tuesday nights. They also have a friend who is single and a widower. They have a standing agreement for dinner & a movie on Saturday nights, so she comes over to visit them.
My biggest concern for mom was a fall she had in late-summer 2000. Exercising at the park with a friend and she fell and broke her hip. This is prime COVID with no vaccines available. Hospital ... surgery ... rehab. She took it very seriously knowing she wanted to regain her mobility. When I saw her a year later, she actively wanted to go for a long walk and a bike ride during the days I was visiting. I was impressed. I kept an eye out for her, but she was back to regular form at 70yo, and I was thankful for that.
All that said ... just glad she lives a full life. I told her back around 2009 or 2010 that he looked happy / healthy. We were out for lunch and she looked cool and fashionable. She could have easily passed for 10 - 15 years younger. And in retirement it's nice to see her LIVING life and not on the hamster wheel doing 12 hour shifts, shift work, etc.
This is really brutal and that's where the moodiness is coming from. All I can say is just continue being supportive.
The other day I said I felt I needed to cry and then I had to tell myself, I didn't even know why I wanted to cry. Hot one minute, freezing the next. That's another reason I decided to cut my hair. I asked my mom why isn't this something they talked about. All we knew was "the change".
Coco - what works best for your thread here is that it's REAL.
In a bullshit world with clown Chump dominating the global headlines ... it's refreshing to hear people speaking on stuff that actually matters.
It's like hitting the reset button. Remembering what keeps us all coming back here for years / decades.
Thank you sir
Damn, ma dukes doing the thing! Congrats to y'all both fam.
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I listen to this guy for over 10 years..he may help you find some herbs to put together!! He sends out emails with free info as well. Within the last month he has mentioned menopause and many simple things that can help! Hell i bought some eggshells to eat (in capsule form) to help with calcium to help rebuild bones. Stuff doctors wont tell u!! Unfortunately my wife wont listen to him or me to try to help her situation.. i just wanted to share.. listen to his Lives...i hope this helps..
Found one of them..time stamped already..just press play
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Thanks Cap.
Happy to see her enjoying retirement. She took her hip surgery rehab seriously and got back to her ol’ self. Scared the crap outta me when I got her text right before her 70th bday in 2020.
Gonna visit her in early-Dec and get some walks in. Damn right.
Things are okay. Compared to other places ICE hasn't been too active in San Francisco. If Trump sends those troops he's been talking about we're ready for them.
He has his fans out here, but wearing a red hat will get you cussed out in the street and a Trump bumper sticker will get your car keyed. The police are not allowed to cooperate with immigration. They're not even allowed to ask what country you're from.
Schools and hospitals do ICE drills. The SEIU has been fighting to protect workers. For all there many, many faults the governor, attorney general, and mayor are all anti-Trump and have our back on this. Our differences have been put aside for the sake of resistance.
He has his fans out here, but wearing a red hat will get you cussed out in the street and a Trump bumper sticker will get your car keyed. The police are not allowed to cooperate with immigration. They're not even allowed to ask what country you're from.
Schools and hospitals do ICE drills. The SEIU has been fighting to protect workers. For all there many, many faults the governor, attorney general, and mayor are all anti-Trump and have our back on this. Our differences have been put aside for the sake of resistance.
Bruh....its a hard choice.....had to do it for my mom too. she had advanced dementia with Alzheimers. it was heart breaking but a necessary evil. but then we started to get to know the nursing staff and connected with one who made sure moms was taken care of with a little extra incentive.
the way the economics is set up, everybody got to work and cant be in 2 places at the same time which is why we need to go back to the more village or communal living. multi-generational family households to spread the load (financial, housework, education, etc). thats is the only way we will win . i had korean neighbors back in the day who lived in a 9 bedroom 6 bath mansion that they built on 7 acres. they had grandparents, parents and 4 married children with grandchildren in that house (about 14-16 people) and everyone worked/contributed/shared. it was run like the mafia over there with the grandfather in charge and the father as the enforcer. but they was getting it done in that 3 of the 4 children were high end pros i.e. doctor, lawyer and their spouses.....and the children were all taken care of by the elders with no daycare costs and mutually beneficial eyes on everybody.
this is what the black family used to have until all the govt programs destroyed us internally. but we have to get back to that...but we have a lot of work to do...mentally, culturally, spiritually, financially. but this incoming recession will be the catalyst to wake people up and make black people realize we need each other esp our black women. they cant build without us and we can elevate without them.
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