In limbo right now. Got laid off due to the contract I was on changing hands. Govt shut down the next day. I'm good though. Waiting to hear back from another contract after (if) things re-open.
How are you? Mental Health Check-In
- Thread starter cocobeauty
- Start date
i still cant believe im living in ny! im stable ....had to get a job w/ the city! I still misss my moms, I try not to think about it much! its been 5 years now. Never thought Id be here or still be here. Making the best out of it thou...
I'm recovering from grief of losing my uncle last month from diabetes, he was sick and suffering for a long time not taking care of himself that he fell into a coma but never was able to get out of it to the point my family had to pull the plug. My pops crying his heart out because him and his brother were close.
I have a elder grandmother that I have to take care of but also with a great support system she's in great hands that some of us can take a break while someone else in the family help her.
BGOL keeps me grounded which is why I come here often to laugh, post fine naked women and talk shit. But it also a stress reliver as well.
I like to read books as well and getting plenty of rest is very important.
I have a elder grandmother that I have to take care of but also with a great support system she's in great hands that some of us can take a break while someone else in the family help her.
BGOL keeps me grounded which is why I come here often to laugh, post fine naked women and talk shit. But it also a stress reliver as well.
I like to read books as well and getting plenty of rest is very important.
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Happy belated birthday bro.
If Sues Rendezvous was still around, I would have came up to NYC and took you out for drinks lol
Fa sure....
Agreed....
Happy Birthday to the infamous negrodamus of BGOL. I wish you many more years to come. Health Is Wealth.
For now I'm maintaining. When that fool first took office my job got shaken up big time with the return to work. Got so bad my blood pressure was out of control. I was able to get approval for a reasonable accommodation so I'm back to permanent remote and my BP is back under control. Now this fool is shutting shit down but thankfully my agency isn't funded by the regular federal budget so I'm still working everyday. All I want to do now is retire and get out from under all this fuckery.
the craziest part about being back home is NOT fuckin with ANY of my immediate family members. Since my moms left basically nobody fuks with me. Last thanksgiving I was told I wasnt invited after being ghosted the previous years. they say its cause they didnt like how I delt with my mothers services.... I didnt have a wake or memorial service...... it took almost 4 months for me to get my mothers remains back. she wanted to be cremated so that part went well.... but outside of that there wasnt much of anything I could do or felt able to do. I sat in the house for 3 months thinking she might come back home or if I left somehow she's be there when I got back. She was crazy..... I couldnt see my moms in the hospital & she died the day I got home. 4 hrs after I got to nyc. aint seen / spoke to my brother on my fathers side for 2 years.... the same day he asked if he could rent a room in the joint ( its super big)..... smfh. I couldnt believe it. 1st day back in nyc. I didnt want anybody in the house and then you couldnt have too many people in the spot without people getting nervous. I didnt get vaccinated so that was a problem for all those that did... it was always something. I just gave up! I didnt close the door..... so Im not knocking on it to see if some one will open it and welcome me in. Life is too short for the bullshit. it feels like we all people that were connected to each other by people that were connected to each other and now that those people are no longer here...... that connection is gone, which means it didnt really exist, @ least the way YOU thought it did. we just people that came out of the same connected people. Everybody circled THEIR wagons.
Rogue administration, is a huge factor into in all our mental health right now. Thanks for pointing that out.
Thank you.. I been around and doing bizz with the adult entertainment for basically 25 yrs.. female talent mostly, from strippers, to pornstars, to escorts, etc.. from throwing stripper parties, scouting talent for companies, to putting girls in softcore/ xxx scenes, to backelor parties, to a bunch of other stuff.. let's just say I'm connected to all kinda things outside of adult entertainment that certain people want/ need.. so perhaps may have currently provided alcohol for some strip parties, etc.. than somehow ended up in a few parties that introduced me to new talent/ old friends.. people want me to start throwing big parties, some chicks want me to introduce them to other realms.. let's just say I might have setup a few things for me and some chicks to get money these past few months
Gave up on my other home state (Arizona) after half of it voted for tRump 
..told my family there and back in NY to stay safe
Moved in with relatives in Toronto the day before 2024 even came to a end
..told my family there and back in NY to stay safeMoved in with relatives in Toronto the day before 2024 even came to a end
Lol thank you very much
Lol at Sue's I technically only been inside probably a handful of times to do some photo/ video shoots and other times id be either dropping/picking up dancers or dropping flyers off promoting parties at other clubs
Sorry to hear about your loss, my condolences, and stay strong for grandma
Thanks...
Hey Coco. I am also a federal employee, but my agency doesn't have to worry about furlough. I just passed my FAC-C Professional exam so I'm good.
I know a re-org is coming but right now nobody has any money because of the shutdown so we chillin. A lot of new changes are about to happen with them completely redoing the FAR (FAR 2.0), so they're about to make my job a lot more difficult over the next few years by changing every goddamn thing.
Luckily I'm still working from home because they sold the building we used to work in. Other than being single in this crappy ass dating market, I'm doing really good.
I just got My manuscript for my first novel back from the copy editor, so all I have to do is make the suggested changes and I'll be ready to be published. Add to it, I'm about 75% done with the sequel so I'll be able to drop them down there back to back I just have to ask AI how to self-publish
I know a re-org is coming but right now nobody has any money because of the shutdown so we chillin. A lot of new changes are about to happen with them completely redoing the FAR (FAR 2.0), so they're about to make my job a lot more difficult over the next few years by changing every goddamn thing.
Luckily I'm still working from home because they sold the building we used to work in. Other than being single in this crappy ass dating market, I'm doing really good.
I just got My manuscript for my first novel back from the copy editor, so all I have to do is make the suggested changes and I'll be ready to be published. Add to it, I'm about 75% done with the sequel so I'll be able to drop them down there back to back I just have to ask AI how to self-publish
Truth be told, on my part, I have hit some serious rough spots.
1. Plucking grey hairs is not as effective. I'm officially a salt-and-pepper guy.
2. My clients are draining, and business is slow. Companies are shying away from anything/anyone black
3. My girl and I are taking time off. She's spiraling emotionally and mentally.
4. My friend's husband has constant seizures and lupus and can't work (she's holding the family down despite her spiraling)
5. Trying to buy a house, but these rates and these prices are bananas.
My two silver linings are that my sister is having another daughter, which I'm excited about, and that my gym routines are advancing to superhuman level due to using the gym as my stress reliever. I did 66 dips straight the other day.
1. Plucking grey hairs is not as effective. I'm officially a salt-and-pepper guy.
2. My clients are draining, and business is slow. Companies are shying away from anything/anyone black
3. My girl and I are taking time off. She's spiraling emotionally and mentally.
4. My friend's husband has constant seizures and lupus and can't work (she's holding the family down despite her spiraling)
5. Trying to buy a house, but these rates and these prices are bananas.
My two silver linings are that my sister is having another daughter, which I'm excited about, and that my gym routines are advancing to superhuman level due to using the gym as my stress reliever. I did 66 dips straight the other day.
So far so good, on my end 
Hanging in there & doing "okay" mentally, physically, and financially
On the financial side, I have a some money invested in XRP (Ripple)
Hoping this shit finally pops (supposedly towards the end of November)
So I can finally retire with a few million dollars in the bank
November 22nd is the ISO 20022 deadline, where everything is supposed to go live
And *fingers crossed* when XRP is supposed to pump hard
Hanging in there & doing "okay" mentally, physically, and financially
On the financial side, I have a some money invested in XRP (Ripple)
Hoping this shit finally pops (supposedly towards the end of November)
So I can finally retire with a few million dollars in the bank
November 22nd is the ISO 20022 deadline, where everything is supposed to go live
And *fingers crossed* when XRP is supposed to pump hard
I often contemplate my ever-shrinking circle of family and friends. This has been a season of moochers and people revealing themselves. I’ve had to sit some down and explain how comfortable I am with losing them or letting them go, and I told family I can be there when they fall but not to help them walk. There’s a smidgeon of guilt over being financially set while others close to me are not, but it’s always been that way; it’s just that, at my age, I’m watching friends and others worry about what they’re going to do when I tried to warm them decades ago. It’s something about your 50’s and remembering telling ninjas to buy instead of rent, save, invest, use a condom, etc. All that shit is hitting many in the face while I sit childless, never married, fully invested. It’s almost like being the only person to survive the Titanic—survivors remorse.
Hardest part is there’s an awakened racist side of me that I’ve always repressed that, deep down, I’m happy was unleashed. Never fully trusted cacs or any other race, but the recent events confirm I was right. There’s a peace with being a hater I now know cacs revel in—it’s pretty sweet.
Hardest part is there’s an awakened racist side of me that I’ve always repressed that, deep down, I’m happy was unleashed. Never fully trusted cacs or any other race, but the recent events confirm I was right. There’s a peace with being a hater I now know cacs revel in—it’s pretty sweet.
Manager at my current job hates the attention I get. I'm trying to leave and have been interviewing, but no luck. These CACs want you to cure cancer before they make you a job offer.
My public persona is seemingly well put together and enjoying what life has to offer. Behind the scenes, I'm always anxious and depressed so I've sank all my attention and spare time into my hobbies. One is an exercise thing, and I truly enjoy the people there and the workouts. My lady and I haven't been on the same page for a bit now. She seems to be living in her own reality at the moment, and nothing around her causes her to react. I tell her shit to keep her safe, and she is either arrogant or dumb as hell, and just won't listen. She likes those over the head big headphones, and I told her when she's walking around, stop wearing them because she can't hear if someone walks behind her. Wouldn't you fucking know it? I see her walking from the gym as I'm coming back from the market, and he had the fucking headphones on. I pulled over and walked behind her, then ran up and grabbed her. I was so tempted to take those headphone and throw them into the middle of the road. In the end, she honestly doesn't care or even seem to remember that what just happened could have been a true disaster.
Tomorrow is never promised, as you get older more and more people die.
Happy belated fam
My condolences
I talked to my inside sources at BGOL Financial, and what Curt is referring to in late-November is ...
So basically you mean to say you've been living your best life for a quarter century?
Thanks, bro.
Sometimes it doesn't feel like it fam. It feels hopeless at times, but I keep reaching out to my resources to keep me in a positive frame of mind.
I talked to my inside sources at BGOL Financial, and what Curt is referring to in late-November is ...
Anyone holding XRP, before next month.....
Can retire early & tell their boss (or co-workers) to kiss their black ass
I lived in Mt Vernon for 3 years and only went once.
I hope, well pray everything works out for you. Keep your head up through it all.
Brother I saw this and your other post, and I'm so sorry you are going through all this. Just keep trying to make the best out of it, and keep trying to get on the other side of it.
My condolences on your uncle, I have a sister that is diabetic and she has had her leg amputated due to her being such a "pretty girl" that she didn't take care of herself and we look up and they told her to stop doing certain stuff and she continued and got an infection. Each time I get a call I'm afraid something is wrong.
I'm glad you all have a support system for your grandmother.
I read a lot too, that has been my thing forever. I read a lot of Urban fiction books and I love it. Hang in there though,
ABSOLUTELY!!
It's really hard not to internalize this, one of my friends tells me all the time I have to stop worrying, but it's hard. But I do need you to keep your BP under control.
I can understand how you feel on this too.
Thanks for clarifying
Try to find a ray of light to call sunshine if only for a minute. I really pray it gets better. It does get better, I can't say how, but I can say don't stop trying to find some good.
Do you like it there?Gave up on my other home state (Arizona) after half of it voted for tRump
Moved in with relatives in Toronto the day before 2024 even came to a end
Hey GW, glad things are working out for you. Oh and I understand trying to date in this market, I stopped trying because being in my 50s I'm still very active and like to go and most guys my age want to sit or their health isn't good, and I just tell them I don't want to sit still if I don't have to. So I just said this is life and I try to make the best of it.
Hang in there and hopefully you and your girl can work it out. I think most people are really going through it emotionally and we don't know how to recognize it or come out of it.
Good luck on the your silver linings though, at least those are something you have to look forward to.
Each time I heard about investments I get so angry at myself for not jumping on it earlier in life.So far so good, on my end
Hanging in there & doing "okay" mentally, physically, and financially
On the financial side, I have a some money invested in XRP (Ripple)
Hoping this shit finally pops (supposedly towards the end of November)
So I can finally retire with a few million dollars in the bank
November 22nd is the ISO 20022 deadline, where everything is supposed to go live
And *fingers crossed* when XRP is supposed to pump hard
I realized I was so busy feeling like I had to take care of everyone and be everyone's ATM that it left me with nothing until I had to cut so many people out and now I can make my the money I know I could have years ago.
Congratulations and good luck on the XRP.
A lot of every thing you said I can resonate with including what I should have done for self and I didn't, and now at 57, I'm sitting looking wise and otherwise, but also stay within my own circle.
As for the bolded part, I find myself really disliking anyone who isn't black because I see how they have continued to treat us, then you have someone like Helicopter Funk that comes in and comments and softens me and I remember he's been cool. So yes I understand. But keep your head up.
This is somewhat me and when I feel like I'm in depressed it like I will jump up and say no come out of that shit and I will find something to do to pull me out. I wish I could get back into exercising but mentally I'm not there. I travel a lot to keep me sane, and then I'm reading a lot, but I get what you're staying. Hang in there
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