Going through a Divorce

[havelcok]

Glad that you made it work bro. I pray for the same result, but I'm also being real with myself that there is a strong chance my marriage will fail. My wife has put me through hell and back. I've tried talking and she refuses counseling. What makes matters worse is shes being super petty because both sides of the family side with me, and keep telling her shes on some fuck shit. My mother in law wants me to have the kids, because I always have them and take care of everything. She got rid of all of her friends that are married because they told her to grow up. Got a clique of new friends all 8 years younger than her ass single with no kids barely surviving. I feel like I'm stuck with a teenager right now. Shit may turn around, but I'm preparing for shit to go south real quick.

Did you marry her young?
I don’t know why anyone would want to jump into that single lifestyle again
Unless they missed out the first time

 

[LegendOfLedo]

Did you marry her young?
I don’t know why anyone would want to jump into that single lifestyle again
Unless they missed out the first time

She was 26 when we got married. Claimed she was ready, even proposed first to me. We had a great relationship and marriage until the kids were born. She runs away from adult conversations and you can't tell her nothing. Shes the type that has to fall on her face in order to understand shit. In the past she'd at least listen, nowadays? not a chance. I'm viewed as the enemy, yet I'm the one taking care of her ass.

 

[trstar]

Could your wife being going through postpartum depression?

That shit is real.

Cosign.

But get that dna test

 

[Eclipse99]

So you’re supposed to be miserable for the rest of your life because of the kids?

I will and you do you.

Also, kids can see unhappiness in parents. Having two obviously miserable people in a household as parent’s doesn’t make it better than two separate households of happy single parents.

But do you.

Eat shit in what way
Cause it’s not worth it for your kids to see their parents unhappy and miserable

@Picasso Every marriage is similar but different if you know what I mean. When I got married I was 32 years old with my career intact and a general idea of the goals I want to achieve. I wanted to be a family man. So my happiness at that time (and still is) is centered around me taking care of my family and raising my son. My wife at that time was trying to take that away from me. So I get what you're saying but I'm a lot more mature now. Meaning I prioritize what's important in my life even if I have to compromise a little. It's a tough pill to swallow but it's just life man...

As far as "eat that shit".... it means different things to different people (marriages). For me, I refuse to have my son (at this young age) be brought up around her family to the point where he is primarily with her. Not to get too much into to detail, but my son needs a stable environment and needs to be around his father. Some people will know exactly what I mean... so therefore raising and being there for my son is more important than going through a bunch of bullshit. Seeing my son everyday and taking care of my household is all that matters to me right now. Others may look at it differently or may be in a different situation.

 

[ATLKingpin]

Hey fellas,

Not sure if I need advice or just need to vent/clear my head. 8 days ago my wife decided that she wants to get a divorce after 1yr and 9 months. And on top of that, we just had our first son. I mean he is 10 fucking days old. Now we've been having problems but we had both agreed that we wouldnt discuss our marriage until our child is at least 3 months old.

But she just decided to call it quits. Im hurt mainly because of my son but then im kind of relieved. Im just fucking mad right now man. From a legal perspective she doesnt want a messy divorce, neither do I, but it looks like it may be headed that way. Ive already contacted my attorney but im just not sure how the judge view black men in a divorce especially with custody in GA.

Just seeing if any folks on this board have gone through a divorce and how did you cope with it. How did the custody hearing go? Do you hate your ex wife or are yall friends? And any legal/brotherly advice would be appreciated.

Thanks

Best thing that could have happened to you.
Trust that I am speaking from experience.

I’ll assume you got her pregnant to fix the problems that were already there. Those problems would never die. You’d have just ended up raising a child in a fucked up environment.

Be strong and take some time to regroup. Be there for your child. Enjoy your freedom. If you ever do that shit again, demand more from the woman. You’re worth more.

 

[Keepthapeace]

She was 26 when we got married. Claimed she was ready, even proposed first to me. We had a great relationship and marriage until the kids were born. She runs away from adult conversations and you can't tell her nothing. Shes the type that has to fall on her face in order to understand shit. In the past she'd at least listen, nowadays? not a chance. I'm viewed as the enemy, yet I'm the one taking care of her ass.

Fam, prepare now, just get some free legal advice consulting on the would ifs... if shit hit the fan... and if she get that lawyer, is when she going to wise up and mature quick when it's money and kids involved... and she probably knows you better for the kids, but she'll try to get kids and make you pay cs just out of spite... "a women scorned..."
When she refuses counseling that's normally a final sign to move on...but if divorce papers hit... then it become a chess game where the children never win going through it and time and money spent on attys, court always win the biggest victory in the end.

Cosign don't stay in an unhealthy marriage if you have kids just for the sake of the kid(s).

 

[REDLINE]

@Picasso Every marriage is similar but different if you know what I mean. When I got married I was 32 years old with my career intact and a general idea of the goals I want to achieve. I wanted to be a family man. So my happiness at that time (and still is) is centered around me taking care of my family and raising my son. My wife at that time was trying to take that away from me. So I get what you're saying but I'm a lot more mature now. Meaning I prioritize what's important in my life even if I have to compromise a little. It's a tough pill to swallow but it's just life man...

As far as "eat that shit".... it means different things to different people (marriages). For me, I refuse to have my son (at this young age) be brought up around her family to the point where he is primarily with her. Not to get too much into to detail, but my son needs a stable environment and needs to be around his father. Some people will know exactly what I mean... so therefore raising and being there for my son is more important than going through a bunch of bullshit. Seeing my son everyday and taking care of my household is all that matters to me right now. Others may look at it differently or may be in a different situation.

Much respect for prioritizing and keeping your son and his wellbeing as well as upbringing first and foremost. I definitely commend you on that, it takes a big man to think about others before he thinks about himself.

I know your son does and will appreciate that now and later in life. The bond that a son shares with his Dad is priceless. You know your situation and what’s best for you and judging by your words, you’ll make it work the best that you can.

I by no means meant that you should think about yourself in a selfish nature, even though at times we need to.

I simply don’t want you or any person to live with regrets if they can do something about it. Only you know what you can and are willing to deal with, with that said I wish you the best. Especially for the upbringing of your son.

Much respect...

 

[Eclipse99]

Much respect for prioritizing and keeping your son and his wellbeing as well as upbringing first and foremost. I definitely commend you on that, it takes a big man to think about others before he thinks about himself.

I know your son does and will appreciate that now and later in life. The bond that a son shares with his Dad is priceless. You know your situation and what’s best for you and judging by your words, you’ll make it work the best that you can.

I by no means meant that you should think about yourself in a selfish nature, even though at times we need to.

I simply don’t want you or any person to live with regrets if they can do something about it. Only you know what you can and are willing to deal with, with that said I wish you the best. Especially for the upbringing of your son.

Much respect...

Preciate that man... trust me it's not easy. But thinking about my son keeps me going and ignore some of the BS that comes with being married.

Not sure if you got any kids but especially with a boy, its imperative that we raise are sons.... my older brother is going through this now with his 14 year old. Some women are just hell bent on doing everything the opposite of what you want to do for your son. Not for the best interest for the kid, but because it's coming from you.

 

[BlackGoku]

Glad that you made it work bro. I pray for the same result, but I'm also being real with myself that there is a strong chance my marriage will fail. My wife has put me through hell and back. I've tried talking and she refuses counseling. What makes matters worse is shes being super petty because both sides of the family side with me, and keep telling her shes on some fuck shit. My mother in law wants me to have the kids, because I always have them and take care of everything. She got rid of all of her friends that are married because they told her to grow up. Got a clique of new friends all 8 years younger than her ass single with no kids barely surviving. I feel like I'm stuck with a teenager right now. Shit may turn around, but I'm preparing for shit to go south real quick.

Be careful with that man because once lawyers get involved, blood becomes thicker than water REAL quick..i havent been married but i was in a long term relationship that involved a child..

 

[LegendOfLedo]

Be careful with that man because once lawyers get involved, blood becomes thicker than water REAL quick..i havent been married but i was in a long term relationship that involved a child..

Your right. She approached me about doing a no fault with no lawyers involved. She's also turned into an instagram gangsta that I want the fuck out of my house. Shes spinning so many lies she can't keep her story straight. I'm ready to get the shit over with.

 

[ballscout1]

she just had a baby....sounds like post partum depression.....seek counseling

 

[LegendOfLedo]

she just had a baby....sounds like post partum depression.....seek counseling

I can't get her ass to go. She refuses.