Successful, black and lonely

[Gods_Debris]

Ok but what about attractive AND educated women of color who are in University trying to have a good career, cultured, worldly, not the Church type, work out at least 4 times a week, uninhibited in the bed, has intelligent conversation, likes to play video games, watch anime/cartoons, loves jazz music and indie movies, is slightly artsy without being hipster, aren't crazy or sick in the head, don't want children until marriage, etc, the list goes on. *coughMEcough*

Why can't women like that find a man? Personally, I don't care if a guy has a degree or not because a degree does not define a person. I just don't want a "thug" or "hood" guy. I also don't want a simp or loser either. Of course I dont want to date an asshole or "high risk man" as dumb ass Rihanna says, but it is incredibly hard for me to find a man who is nice, can put it down in the bedroom (like a "thug" lol) and still retains the essence of what it is to be a man without becoming a simp. The type of black men I am interested in are really hard to find or have been snatched up, at least where I live (chicago) and I usually have to resort to dating other races (which isn't a problem of course but i love brothers).

hmmmmmmm....

 

[HYDEFROMME357]

[/b]

It's her self-defense mechanism; she even admits so in the article:


Having gone through undergraduate and law school in Washington DC, I see these type of beautiful, successful yet lonely sistas everywhere. And just like any young brotha in the DMV, I have my share of experiences with these sistas.

A commonality that many of these sistas share is that they let their professional and academic achievements define them as individuals. Just because one graduates from a Top 10 University and a T100 law school does not mean that you are a good person, specifically a good black woman that a black man would want to marry. Being a "Bitch" is a cop out.

There's a whore inside of every woman and more especially our Black Women! My job is to bring out the whore in them when they speak as she has! LOL

 

[keysersoze]

It took ten fucking pages to state one simple truth.


Single ladies are single because they, through conscious or subconscious act, CHOOSE to be single.


I believe Petsmart is having a 2-for-1 sell on cats. Take advantage bitches...


*two cents*

Pogobor is the one the funniest and realest cat on this forum.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

I don't see it as being a "crutch" as much as both individuals being responsible to care about the household and how it is run. And, it's not even about, "Oh, if something happens, I want my half of the pie, etc." It's just about being a contributing member to the household and not just taking, but providing in more ways than just domestically. Any man can HIRE a woman to care for his household, raise his child, etc. these days...is this how we define (or want to define) a long-term relationship with a woman? A domestic partnership? Nothing more than a caretaker who a man gets to sleep with when he so pleases? If men (not just black men, but all men) look at women as nothing more than a baby carrier and a caretaker, shucks, what the hell are we (women) needed for anyway?

Respectfully, the highlighted part is complete and utter bullshit.

To a man worth his salt, THE MOTHER OF HIS HEIR, is the most important thing he can choose. Most men of options, choose their wife based on how they think she will peform DOMESTIC duties.

Ironically, the women whom claim that they can't find a decent men.... are the women that look DOWN UPON THE QUALITIES THAT MEN hold most dear in their selection process.

 

[DeSiRe]

Professional and successful are 2 different things.

great point!

alot of people dont know how to distinguish the 2 and fall for the okey doke

i see too many females playing that "successful card" and the bitch is a supervisor at a call center...or an office manager or some bullshit

they run and buy shit they can hardly afford (or really good knock offs) and play that high maintenance role...and some men EAT IT UP

i guess the point im trying to make is more women play that role that really arent...yall gotta start figuring this out and governing yourselves accordingly

 

[IntelligentDyme]

great point!

alot of people dont know how to distinguish the 2 and fall for the okey doke

i see too many females playing that "successful card" and the bitch is a supervisor at a call center...or an office manager or some bullshit

they run and buy shit they can hardly afford (or really good knock offs) and play that high maintenance role...and some men EAT IT UP

i guess the point im trying to make is more women play that role that really arent...yall gotta start figuring this out and governing yourselves accordingly

Good point! On the flip side there are many "professional" women who think that having a PhD JD or MD makes them successful in life...and that is utter bull shit. Because you have achieved academically does not make you successful emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, or spiritually. It simply means you have a career and not a job..

 

[Adam Knows]

Good point! On the flip side there are many "professional" women who think that having a PhD JD or MD makes them successful in life...and that is utter bull shit. Because you have achieved academically does not make you successful emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, or spiritually. It simply means you have a career and not a job..

ok then where are all these women that kats keep crying about?

i've been waiting all day for one to appear.....

an exexutive dept. head
corporate administration
lawyer
doctor
daytrader
something......

cause all i hear is these womenfolk are too above black men to consider them equal....

 

[Adam Knows]

i know of a woman who owns a title company makes mad revenue and doesn't do the bullshit that is advertised in this thread.....

 

[DeSiRe]

Good point! On the flip side there are many "professional" women who think that having a PhD JD or MD makes them successful in life...and that is utter bull shit. Because you have achieved academically does not make you successful emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, or spiritually. It simply means you have a career and not a job..

great point too!!

ive seen too many with their nose in the air cause they been in higher education for over a decade

 

[(0_0)..l.. finger]

Good point! On the flip side there are many "professional" women who think that having a PhD JD or MD makes them successful in life...and that is utter bull shit. Because you have achieved academically does not make you successful emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, or spiritually. It simply means you have a career and not a job..

Bam, that's what I been saying for a long time now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to make a thread about this comment for a different topic " Because you have achieved academically does not make you successful emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, or spiritually" ..But it relating with self-esteem

 

[largebillsonlyplease]

Ok but what about attractive AND educated women of color who are in University trying to have a good career, cultured, worldly, not the Church type, work out at least 4 times a week, uninhibited in the bed, has intelligent conversation, likes to play video games, watch anime/cartoons, loves jazz music and indie movies, is slightly artsy without being hipster, aren't crazy or sick in the head, don't want children until marriage, etc, the list goes on. *coughMEcough*

Why can't women like that find a man? Personally, I don't care if a guy has a degree or not because a degree does not define a person. I just don't want a "thug" or "hood" guy. I also don't want a simp or loser either. Of course I dont want to date an asshole or "high risk man" as dumb ass Rihanna says, but it is incredibly hard for me to find a man who is nice, can put it down in the bedroom (like a "thug" lol) and still retains the essence of what it is to be a man without becoming a simp. The type of black men I am interested in are really hard to find or have been snatched up, at least where I live (chicago) and I usually have to resort to dating other races (which isn't a problem of course but i love brothers).

northern cali

it works both ways. you described me to a t but someone like you there is always a catch that i'm trained to look for. it would be almmost too good to be true. that's what we BOTh would be thinking. if we got over it then it would work but sometimes when its right there you can't believe its happening and you find a way to ruin it. but yea like i said northern cali after you finish chicago might not be a bad look for you

 

[IntelligentDyme]

i know of a woman who owns a title company makes mad revenue and doesn't do the bullshit that is advertised in this thread.....

Well I agree and I know a bit of both....

I have female friends from college who are professional, but use their degree as a tool, a measuring stick, to determine what type of man they should have. Women must understand that at the end of the day, what type of degree a man has does not dictate the type of man he is or how he will treat you. They must also understand that that whole independent shit is a misnomer at best. Nothing exists independently from all other things. If you keep telling a man you don't need him, he should believe you... and if you want someone that's in shape, sensitive, kind, make sure you possess those attributes as well... In my opinion, too many people both male and female put their stock in bull shit...

Most people don't even love themselves enough to appreciate a good man/woman...Most don't know the difference between alone and lonely--- Some people are just so scared of being alone that they will settle for anything, but still end up lonely as hell...

If you keep attracting bull shit people it's because you are one of them.

 

[IntelligentDyme]

Bam, that's what I been saying for a long time now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm going to make a thread about this comment for a different topic " Because you have achieved academically does not make you successful emotionally, mentally, physically, financially, or spiritually" ..But it relating with self-esteem

Great, I'll be looking for it

 

[(0_0)..l.. finger]

Well I agree and I know a bit of both....

I have female friends from college who are professional, but use their degree as a tool, a measuring stick, to determine what type of man they should have. Women must understand that at the end of the day, what type of degree a man has does not dictate the type of man he is or how he will treat you. They must also understand that that whole independent shit is a misnomer at best. Nothing exists independently from all other things. If you keep telling a man you don't need him, he should believe you... and if you want someone that's in shape, sensitive, kind, make sure you possess those attributes as well... In my opinion, too many people both male and female put their stock in bull shit...

Most people don't even love themselves enough to appreciate a good man/woman...Most don't know the difference between alone and lonely--- Some people are just so scared of being alone that they will settle for anything, but still end up lonely as hell...

If you keep attracting bull shit people it's because you are one of them.

There is hopeI'm glad to see that there are women who think like this...

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Niggas sayin the right shit...

 

[Adam Knows]

Well I agree and I know a bit of both....

I have female friends from college who are professional, but use their degree as a tool, a measuring stick, to determine what type of man they should have. Women must understand that at the end of the day, what type of degree a man has does not dictate the type of man he is or how he will treat you. They must also understand that that whole independent shit is a misnomer at best. Nothing exists independently from all other things. If you keep telling a man you don't need him, he should believe you... and if you want someone that's in shape, sensitive, kind, make sure you possess those attributes as well... In my opinion, too many people both male and female put their stock in bull shit...

Most people don't even love themselves enough to appreciate a good man/woman...Most don't know the difference between alone and lonely--- Some people are just so scared of being alone that they will settle for anything, but still end up lonely as hell...

If you keep attracting bull shit people it's because you are one of them.

which is why i laugh when females stand up and post that crap...

moreso laugh harder when females who aren't even close to being there dare to say the same thing....

 

[ron_mexico]

I'm not lumping all African American women in a category, that's absurd. And I never said I was the only person that had grown up the way I did, I was merely stating what I have observed. I am trying to understand why so many black women are having this problem and if I could help I would. However (from my experience), whenever I offer words of wisdom or advice many of the black women I know take it with a grain of salt or brush it off because I was not born here therefore they believe I don't "truly know what a black man wants" but obviously they don't either if they are "successful, black, and lonely"

I'll say it agian. I'm digging this sista right here.

 

[keysersoze]

^^yea, electrik_relaxation is a chick...

very few of those around women around not caught up in themselves.

 

[Naha-Nago]

Respectfully, the highlighted part is complete and utter bullshit.

To a man worth his salt, THE MOTHER OF HIS HEIR, is the most important thing he can choose. Most men of options, choose their wife based on how they think she will peform DOMESTIC duties.

Ironically, the women whom claim that they can't find a decent men.... are the women that look DOWN UPON THE QUALITIES THAT MEN hold most dear in their selection process.

Preach, Church, & Tabernacle!


*two cents*

 

[CPT Callamity]

Most people don't even love themselves enough to appreciate a good man/woman...Most don't know the difference between alone and lonely--- Some people are just so scared of being alone that they will settle for anything, but still end up lonely as hell...

Here's two examples. Me and my homeboy are two ends of the spectrum as described by onlookers. He has to have attention and people around him most of the time or he'd go crazy. He always used to have people coming over and loved to rotate hos. Me, on the other hand, I'm content with coming home to my place and not seeing or hearing anyone unless I wanted to. He admitted to me he doesn't like it, whereas me, I was overseas and on active duty spending looooong periods alone. It didn't make me crazy, it let me learn to enjoy the company of myself. I was free to enjoy the movies, hobbies and live in general without someone else re-directing my energy and attention. I would say I'm alone, but I seldom get lonely. Getting comfortable with yourself is quite liberating. Loneliness comes in short spurts when you've got your own back first.

 

[JofromthaNO]

It amazes me how many women have this mentality. When did it become a demeaning thing to cook for children? Funny how it went from a thing of pride, to sistas today who take pride in not learning how to cook. I guess our grandmothers and great grandmothers were weak then. I do find it astonishing how women ask our opinions on what we want, get frustrated with the answer, then tell us what we SHOULD want.

I've said it previously in this thread, but women are projecting their wants and needs on to men. Traditionally women have wanted the man who has the Ivy League degree, the house etc because that is stability. Be it human beings or lions, the male role has always been security and stability. And I'm not offended by that (I don't know many men that are). Yet, traditional roles for females are now seen as offensive. That throws off balance. In a twist of irony, the same women who deject traditional roles for women, still want men to pull out the chair, open the door, walk on the outside when walking down the street... traditional values.

Queen, I respect a woman who is educated because she can teach our child. But I also respect a Queen who WANTS to be an important part in raising our child. Who doesn't view cooking as demeaning. Who take pride in what goes in the bodies of her King, Princes and Princesses. There is vast gray area between a woman who wants to make sure her family eats healthy and wants to make sure her home is in order, and a woman being a maid/housekeeper. That right there is YOUR projection on the situation, not the man's.

Seems that women are hungry, standing on the banks of the river, casting their fishing line with cardboard on the hook getting frustrated that no men will take the bait. If you're fishing for large mouth bass with nothing on the hook, would you get mad at the fish or yourself when you're ribs are touching that night?

Visionpoet, you're missing my point. I didn't say women shouldn't be nurturing or caring, or even provide for their families domestically. BUT, I do feel as if simply limiting a woman to her being the caretaker and "housewife" might possibly be limiting her potential in terms of what she can contribute to society, as a human being (not as a WOMAN.) Many women have no problem cooking and caring for a household, but they may run a small business on the side, invest in different arenas, BUT they just don't bide their time with caring for children, ESPECIALLY as they age and childcare is no longer needed in the home.

My mother was a prime example of that. She was stay-at-home mother up until a certain point in elementary school, and then she started teaching and working at a private school. Her needs weren't so much at home, as we grew up and started becoming involved in extracurricular activities, etc.

It wasn't even about how much money she was contributing now that she was working again, but more so about her being bored and her love of working and educating kids that brought her back to the workforce. Nothing is wrong with that, to me, as long as she can handle BOTH home and work...

 

[JD Walker]

Visionpoet, you're missing my point. I didn't say women shouldn't be nurturing or caring, or even provide for their families domestically. BUT, I do feel as if simply limiting a woman to her being the caretaker and "housewife" might possibly be limiting her potential in terms of what she can contribute to society, as a human being (not as a WOMAN.) Many women have no problem cooking and caring for a household, but they may run a small business on the side, invest in different arenas, BUT they just don't bide their time with caring for children, ESPECIALLY as they age and childcare is no longer needed in the home.

My mother was a prime example of that. She was stay-at-home mother up until a certain point in elementary school, and then she started teaching and working at a private school. Her needs weren't so much at home, as we grew up and started becoming involved in extracurricular activities, etc.

It wasn't even about how much money she was contributing now that she was working again, but more so about her being bored and her love of working and educating kids that brought her back to the workforce. Nothing is wrong with that, to me, as long as she can handle BOTH home and work...

If you feel that being a housewife is "limiting" then you probably shouldn't have kids.

Kids today are fucked up in the head for a reason. PARENTS NOT PRESENT.

You can't have it both ways, and that's what you career women want. There's a finite amout of attention one possesses and the distribution and quality of that attention varies in relationship to environmental variables. The less attention and/or quality attention a child gets the more damage is done, PERIOD. Especially today, in an era where information is increasing at an exponential rate.

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

Bumpity Bump

 

[The Plutonian]

It doenst help she isnt that great looking and probably prudish as fuck in the sack. Hmmm, might that have something to do with it? Huh? Shit I've met mad successful women and they like to fuck and have a good time. This hoe better live before the reaper shows up. Fuck her. Just me

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Visionpoet, you're missing my point. I didn't say women shouldn't be nurturing or caring, or even provide for their families domestically. BUT, I do feel as if simply limiting a woman to her being the caretaker and "housewife" might possibly be limiting her potential in terms of what she can contribute to society, as a human being (not as a WOMAN.) Many women have no problem cooking and caring for a household, but they may run a small business on the side, invest in different arenas, BUT they just don't bide their time with caring for children, ESPECIALLY as they age and childcare is no longer needed in the home.

My mother was a prime example of that. She was stay-at-home mother up until a certain point in elementary school, and then she started teaching and working at a private school. Her needs weren't so much at home, as we grew up and started becoming involved in extracurricular activities, etc.

It wasn't even about how much money she was contributing now that she was working again, but more so about her being bored and her love of working and educating kids that brought her back to the workforce. Nothing is wrong with that, to me, as long as she can handle BOTH home and work...

Hey, I far from a cave man (and after parents were divorced was raised by my mother)... but I have to agree with JD Walker on this one.

If you feel that raising kids is "LIMITING" then you probably shouldn't get married or have kids. If for some reason I decided to get married.... taking care of the home and raising the kids would be #1 Priority and desire for my wife. Once the kid(s) are born she should not be working until the children are in their teen age years. At that point the kids have all the values instilled in them, and don't need mom at home every minute, or every meal cooked by mom, or homework looked over by mom.

If you would feel more fulfilled by working a job, than raising a family.... that is fine. Just don't be mad that you are NOT CHOSEN by men for long term relationships. Because you ahve made a conscious decesion to EMBRACE to wife-like qualities that most men of worth desire in their mate.

 

[TheFuser]

Visionpoet, you're missing my point. I didn't say women shouldn't be nurturing or caring, or even provide for their families domestically. BUT, I do feel as if simply limiting a woman to her being the caretaker and "housewife" might possibly be limiting her potential in terms of what she can contribute to society, as a human being (not as a WOMAN.) Many women have no problem cooking and caring for a household, but they may run a small business on the side, invest in different arenas, BUT they just don't bide their time with caring for children, ESPECIALLY as they age and childcare is no longer needed in the home.

My mother was a prime example of that. She was stay-at-home mother up until a certain point in elementary school, and then she started teaching and working at a private school. Her needs weren't so much at home, as we grew up and started becoming involved in extracurricular activities, etc.

It wasn't even about how much money she was contributing now that she was working again, but more so about her being bored and her love of working and educating kids that brought her back to the workforce. Nothing is wrong with that, to me, as long as she can handle BOTH home and work...

Peace Queen. Let me first thank you for engaging in this discussion in a civil manner. That's not always the case when this topic is being discussed.

I'm a little disturbed by the word LIMITING. Who says that's limiting? No one is saying we WANT to limit anything. What I am saying is what I look for in a woman is someone who WANTS to spend substantial time nurturing our children, specifically when they're very young. Since I don't want to LIMIT anyone, I choose not to date women who are more focused on being "successful" if their success can't match with my long term goals. THIS is why these "successful" women are lonely. No one is trying to limit them. We just choose not to date them because their philosophies, ideologies, and goals don't match ours. Of course they use the crutch "I intimidate men" when things don't go their way. Ironically, it's quite the contrary. There's a reason why so many of these queens only go on first dates. It's because men find out who they are, what they are, and what they want, and realize there's no need for a 2nd date. When I first meet a woman I find out if she enjoys cooking (thinking long term for our children's health if it ever gets to that), if she's an active reader (I would need the mother of my child to read to my child). I want someone who WANTS to do these things. Not because she's forced to, but because it's already instilled in her.

While I was disturbed by the usage of the word "limiting," I wasn't at all surprised. A lot of women view it as limiting these days. I'll date those women for fun, but I won't build anything with them. Why would I? We don't view family in the same light so why would I look at her with long term goals in mind. There are many faux feminist who will look at me and men like me in a negative light. But feminism is about choice. And I CHOOSE to date someone who CHOOSES to look at family and gender roles as I do. Men are actively choosing not to date these "successful lonely" women. Instead of focusing on what those reasons are, a lot of these women would rather tell men why our opinions are wrong. We can sit here all day and debate who's right and who's wrong, but at the end of the day who's lonely?

 

[Adam Knows]

Peace Queen. Let me first thank you for engaging in this discussion in a civil manner. That's not always the case when this topic is being discussed.

I'm a little disturbed by the word LIMITING. Who says that's limiting? No one is saying we WANT to limit anything. What I am saying is what I look for in a woman is someone who WANTS to spend substantial time nurturing our children, specifically when they're very young. Since I don't want to LIMIT anyone, I choose not to date women who are more focused on being "successful" if their success can't match with my long term goals. THIS is why these "successful" women are lonely. No one is trying to limit them. We just choose not to date them because their philosophies, ideologies, and goals don't match ours. Of course they use the crutch "I intimidate men" when things don't go their way. Ironically, it's quite the contrary. There's a reason why so many of these queens only go on first dates. It's because men find out who they are, what they are, and what they want, and realize there's no need for a 2nd date. When I first meet a woman I find out if she enjoys cooking (thinking long term for our children's health if it ever gets to that), if she's an active reader (I would need the mother of my child to read to my child). I want someone who WANTS to do these things. Not because she's forced to, but because it's already instilled in her.

While I was disturbed by the usage of the word "limiting," I wasn't at all surprised. A lot of women view it as limiting these days. I'll date those women for fun, but I won't build anything with them. Why would I? We don't view family in the same light so why would I look at her with long term goals in mind. There are many faux feminist who will look at me and men like me in a negative light. But feminism is about choice. And I CHOOSE to date someone who CHOOSES to look at family and gender roles as I do. Men are actively choosing not to date these "successful lonely" women. Instead of focusing on what those reasons are, a lot of these women would rather tell men why our opinions are wrong. We can sit here all day and debate who's right and who's wrong, but at the end of the day who's lonely?

that was very well said...

 

[TheFuser]

With regards to the woman in the video, I think it's utterly ridiculous that she feels entitled to a man.

Bachelors + Masters + Job + Car + Closet full of Clothes = Good man??? Who came up with that theory? No one is entitled to anything in life. I find it ironic that she checked off all these things she thought would make her happy, and yet she still isn't. How can you call yourself successful if you're not happy? Perhaps people should start focusing on what they're passionate about instead of focusing on a checklist. Just saying.

 

[Qallmighty]

Because "Education is for ugly people".

Pretty women will always have a simp to save them, while ugly women have to save themselves.

Sad, but so damn true!!

 

[water]

Visionpoet, you're missing my point. I didn't say women shouldn't be nurturing or caring, or even provide for their families domestically. BUT, I do feel as if simply limiting a woman to her being the caretaker and "housewife" might possibly be limiting her potential in terms of what she can contribute to society, as a human being (not as a WOMAN.) Many women have no problem cooking and caring for a household, but they may run a small business on the side, invest in different arenas, BUT they just don't bide their time with caring for children, ESPECIALLY as they age and childcare is no longer needed in the home.

My mother was a prime example of that. She was stay-at-home mother up until a certain point in elementary school, and then she started teaching and working at a private school. Her needs weren't so much at home, as we grew up and started becoming involved in extracurricular activities, etc.

It wasn't even about how much money she was contributing now that she was working again, but more so about her being bored and her love of working and educating kids that brought her back to the workforce. Nothing is wrong with that, to me, as long as she can handle BOTH home and work...

I totally understand your post and the spirit of it.

Some people may pick at individual words but deep down I think they get it also.

I grew up in a household with both mother and father and my mother did a miraid of things.

At the end of the day we are all humans and human capacity cannot be fulfilled by staying at home ONLY.

Some women are born leaders, possess unique attributes that are meant to impact the world. Then what are they to do? ONLY stay at home nurturing kids?

How many years does it take to nurture a kid? How can men draw a hard line when they are not the ones doing the nurturing? Who determines when a mother's job is complete?

Sometimes we men take a good position and try to stretch it a bit.

Kids learn from examples and I need a woman who understands that life is not one-dimensional.

You can be everything you want to be AT THE SAME TIME.

I saw my mother do it so I know it is possible.

Finding someone who can may be difficult but then since when you you find gems in abundance (both men & women)?

My $0.02

 

[ArsenalCannon357]

I'm enjoying this post here...good replies all over the place...vision you are right on track....

 

[(0_0)..l.. finger]

If you feel that being a housewife is "limiting" then you probably shouldn't have kids.

Kids today are fucked up in the head for a reason. PARENTS NOT PRESENT.

You can't have it both ways, and that's what you career women want. There's a finite amout of attention one possesses and the distribution and quality of that attention varies in relationship to environmental variables. The less attention and/or quality attention a child gets the more damage is done, PERIOD. Especially today, in an era where information is increasing at an exponential rate.

preach....

 

[LoneStar29]

WOW a couple of you are trying too damn hard in here

Anyways

I'm a little disturbed by the word LIMITING. Who says that's limiting? No one is saying we WANT to limit anything. What I am saying is what I look for in a woman is someone who WANTS to spend substantial time nurturing our children, specifically when they're very young. Since I don't want to LIMIT anyone, I choose not to date women who are more focused on being "successful" if their success can't match with my long term goals. THIS is why these "successful" women are lonely. No one is trying to limit them. We just choose not to date them because their philosophies, ideologies, and goals don't match ours. Of course they use the crutch "I intimidate men" when things don't go their way. Ironically, it's quite the contrary. There's a reason why so many of these queens only go on first dates. It's because men find out who they are, what they are, and what they want, and realize there's no need for a 2nd date. When I first meet a woman I find out if she enjoys cooking (thinking long term for our children's health if it ever gets to that), if she's an active reader (I would need the mother of my child to read to my child). I want someone who WANTS to do these things. Not because she's forced to, but because it's already instilled in her.

While I was disturbed by the usage of the word "limiting," I wasn't at all surprised. A lot of women view it as limiting these days. I'll date those women for fun, but I won't build anything with them. Why would I? We don't view family in the same light so why would I look at her with long term goals in mind. There are many faux feminist who will look at me and men like me in a negative light. But feminism is about choice. And I CHOOSE to date someone who CHOOSES to look at family and gender roles as I do. Men are actively choosing not to date these "successful lonely" women. Instead of focusing on what those reasons are, a lot of these women would rather tell men why our opinions are wrong. We can sit here all day and debate who's right and who's wrong, but at the end of the day who's lonely?

Being a stay at home mom is scary ... you have to depend on him financially for everything ... I felt useless sorta doing that cuz I do not think men value women doing house stuff as much as they do their own money so it always feels like he is contributing more than you ... get what I mean??

And if you break up you are at square one whereas if you have a career you can still take care of yourself financially at least

 

[DeSiRe]

Peace Queen. Let me first thank you for engaging in this discussion in a civil manner. That's not always the case when this topic is being discussed.

I'm a little disturbed by the word LIMITING. Who says that's limiting? No one is saying we WANT to limit anything. What I am saying is what I look for in a woman is someone who WANTS to spend substantial time nurturing our children, specifically when they're very young. Since I don't want to LIMIT anyone, I choose not to date women who are more focused on being "successful" if their success can't match with my long term goals. THIS is why these "successful" women are lonely. No one is trying to limit them. We just choose not to date them because their philosophies, ideologies, and goals don't match ours. Of course they use the crutch "I intimidate men" when things don't go their way. Ironically, it's quite the contrary. There's a reason why so many of these queens only go on first dates. It's because men find out who they are, what they are, and what they want, and realize there's no need for a 2nd date. When I first meet a woman I find out if she enjoys cooking (thinking long term for our children's health if it ever gets to that), if she's an active reader (I would need the mother of my child to read to my child). I want someone who WANTS to do these things. Not because she's forced to, but because it's already instilled in her.

While I was disturbed by the usage of the word "limiting," I wasn't at all surprised. A lot of women view it as limiting these days. I'll date those women for fun, but I won't build anything with them. Why would I? We don't view family in the same light so why would I look at her with long term goals in mind. There are many faux feminist who will look at me and men like me in a negative light. But feminism is about choice. And I CHOOSE to date someone who CHOOSES to look at family and gender roles as I do. Men are actively choosing not to date these "successful lonely" women. Instead of focusing on what those reasons are, a lot of these women would rather tell men why our opinions are wrong. We can sit here all day and debate who's right and who's wrong, but at the end of the day who's lonely?

this would make sense....if the world worked like that

so successful men seek out goal-less women for that reason?

i can see why alot of u on here can't stand black women if thats who u are choosing and why

yall wife these losers and get surprised when they prove to be who they are...takers and dead weight

 

[LoneStar29]

this would make sense....if the world worked like that

so successful men seek out goal-less women for that reason?

i can see why alot of u on here can't stand black women if thats who u are choosing and why

yall wife these losers and get surprised when they prove to be who they are...takers and dead weight

It is confusing cuz one second they want a woman who will pay her own way and take care of herself then the next they want a stay at home mom which means she would be living financially off of him They want an educated woman who doesn't know more than them Then if they break up he will say now she should get a job and take care of herself and the kids and wont want to pay spousal support when initially he liked her cuz she would stay home

It isn't only women who are confused about what they want SMMFH