they worse. just don't get the bad PR. I've seen some simp brothers step up and take care of white men produced seeds for over 18 years. Bitch not me! Ask me if my name pimp C
Why Black Men ARE REFUSING to Play Step DADDY!
- Thread starter MisterT
- Start date
they worse. just don't get the bad PR. I've seen some simp brothers step up and take care of white men produced seeds for over 18 years. Bitch not me! Ask me if my name pimp C
Classic!!!
Hi Coco. I can see this topic will naturally hit close to home. If you don’t mind me asking, when you did divorce from your husband, did you find men you were dating were less judgemental because you were married when you had your child/children in wedlock?
I’d like to believe that men are more willing to step into the role of step father based on the circumstances of the mother no longer being with the dad.
When a woman has a man's kids he is NEVER really gone. In 99% of cases he can ALWAYS come back and tap that ass. No matter what you do for her or her rug rats. You fuck with these ready made family bitches and you'll regret it.
Can you paraphrase it?
Not to be Colin Powell, but I'm not reading a whole book in order to understand a point you could just type right here mayne.....
*two cents*
Not even a page long mayne...
HOW THE FEMALE EAGLE CHOOSES HER MATE
(As told by the Wintu Tribal Elders of California)
When it comes time for the female Eagle to choose her mate, she prepares herself for many suitors. And many come before her. She looks them over quite well and then picks one to fly with for awhile.
If she likes the way he flies she finds a small stick, picks it up and flies high with it. At some point she will drop the stick to see if
the male can catch it. If he does, then she finds a larger stick and flies with it much higher this time. Each time the male catches the
sticks, she continues to pick up larger and larger sticks. When she finds the largest, heaviest stick that she herself can carry, the stick is at this point almost the size of a small log! But she can still fly very high with this large stick.
At any time in this process, if the male fails to catch the stick, she flies away from him as her signal that the test is now over. She begins her search all over again. And when she again finds a male she is interested in, she starts testing him in the exact same way. And she will continue this "testing" until she finds the male Eagle who can catch all the sticks. And when she does, she chooses him, and will mate with him for life.
One of the reasons for this test is that at some point they will build a nest together high up and will then have their Eaglettes. When the babies begin to learn to fly, they sometimes fall instead. It is then that the male must catch his young. And he does!
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The female Eagle and their Eaglettes have depended on him to be strong for them. Just as we Native women and children need to depend upon our Native men.
So what I would like to offer to you my friends is this. Sisters, how well do you "test" your suitors before you allow them into your life? And my Brothers, how well have you caught the "sticks" for your women and your children?
PROBLEMS WITH BEING THE NEW BABY DADDY....
1) A NIGGA THAT NEVER SHOWED UP FOR NOTHING...SUDDENLY SHOWING UP....ALL THE FUCKING TIME...EVEN FROM THE PROVERBIAL GRAVE...NOW WANTING TO BE A DADDY...
2) KIDS AIN'T CALLIN YOU DAD.......IT'S WHAT EVER YOUR FIRST NAME IS........AND WITH THE MOFO'S THESE DAYS...IT'S GONNA BE NIGGA...
3) DISCIPLINING THE KIDS.......MOM ALWAYS GONNA HAVE SOME SHIT TO SAY BOUT IT.....NO MATTER HOW BAD THE KIDS ARE...
4) GETTING COCK BLOCKED 24/7....NO BABY SITTER AVAILABLE...WE CAN'T....THE KIDS WILL HEAR...
5) BECOMING VERY FAMILIAR...WITH THIS PHRASE HERE...."YOU CAN'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO...YOU AIN'T MY DADDY...I HATE YOU!!!"...
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I'll give you another one (didn't read the entire thread so someone else may have mentioned it).
Growing to love the kid and the situation with their mom doesn't work out. You spent time, money, effort raising this child and have zero rights to them when it's all said and done.
Damn nature is fucking phenomenal... Learn something new everyday
The reasoning for not wanting to date is the problem. A broad net was cast making it seem like all women with a child are only looking for sponsors, weak men, were trifling and dated bad men.
In relationships children can be created and like any relationship things can happen where the two adults decide to move on. These are really good people and not some thug or hood rats.
That was a another point I would make all the time too....forgot to put it in.....good one !!!
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Yep. I have a single mother homie who had a kid by nigga that didn't want her. He tried to make her get an abortion and all that. He's literally never cared for her and her son. 6 years later, barely any contact from him, and 3 more kids (by other cats), and she said she's still in love with him lol
But that also comes down to the quality of the women we choose to date. Even if the dad never paid one single penny in child support, she makes enough money to take excellent care of her kids, including school events and two or three vacations a year. In 18 years she never went back to have child support re-evaluated because it wasn't worth the time and effort when she was killing it on her own.
This is what happens when you let young kids spend time with their drunken uncles.
Nicca said 99% of the time.
Apparently your spelling and grammar isn’t one of them.
In 2018, the "all single moms are victims of men who abandoned them" charade is dead. Women today glamorize single moms and belittle wives. They brag about "cut off game" and how they "dont need a man" cuz of their pay. If you lay down and make babies with someone you not commited too on a deeper level than "boyfriend", thats your choice. If you started a family with the wrong " husband" that was your choice also. For men WITHOUT kids, that is a FLAG.
Alot of women with kids EXCLUSIVELY go for men without them because they can guilt shame him about raising theirs while having no kids or baby mama to acquiesce to themselves. It allows them to be SELFISH which most of them are.
I would strongly encourage upwardly mobile black men without kids to stop DATING and FUCKING women with kids. That includes from previous marriages and unions. The problem is never the kids its the person who had them. There are plenty women out here who dont have any that are dying to fuck with you. Leave those women to the men with kids also. Life is about choices. Too many women think they can make poor dating choices and not have to suffer consequences.
Alot of women with kids EXCLUSIVELY go for men without them because they can guilt shame him about raising theirs while having no kids or baby mama to acquiesce to themselves. It allows them to be SELFISH which most of them are.
I would strongly encourage upwardly mobile black men without kids to stop DATING and FUCKING women with kids. That includes from previous marriages and unions. The problem is never the kids its the person who had them. There are plenty women out here who dont have any that are dying to fuck with you. Leave those women to the men with kids also. Life is about choices. Too many women think they can make poor dating choices and not have to suffer consequences.
Same here. As for the address issue, for the first year, it was by my first name, and for the last 26 years, it's been "dad". His dad was a drunk piece of shit, and he didn't miss him at all. In fact, when he found out his dad died, he literally did this:
. I've had NO issues with my boy. That being said, I wholeheartedly agree with a lot of things that were posted in this thread. This shit ain't for everybody, and not all single mothers deserve a chance. Some of them are single mothers for a reason. I stayed around, because I knew I wasn't gonna have to deal with some butt hurt ex. One of my biggest fears when dating a single mother, was the thought of going to jail for putting .380 rounds in some dude's torso, because he was all up in his feelings like a hermit crab. I tell young cats all the time, if the situation is good for you, go for it, but don't feel like you HAVE be a stepdad, because that's not your responsibility. I talked to a mentee of mine that told me women tell him that a "real man" would step up when it came to be a stepdad, and I told him to tell them to kiss his ass the next a woman says the shit to him.
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You know when we divorced I never had an issue with anyone in regards to my kids. The other thing was I didn't have guys I was dating around my kids. My time with my guy would be when my kids were with their dad, etc. But I never tried to force anyone to accept my kids, but it was known they are first and they are mine and their dads.
As my kids got older and they did meet someone, no one felt I was looking for a father for them. I think that's why when I hear stuff like that, it's funny.
Another thing was I wouldn't date anyone without kids because they have a different type of understanding in regards to kids. If I hear a man say he hasn't seen his kids in months or years, he was automatically out because he immediately was viewed as a deadbeat and is not responsible, because there is no real excuse not to see your kids.
Even with my kids being adults now if they are here and I'm even talking on the phone to someone, I get off the phone and talk later. It's like church and state, I separate the two.
If ever in that situation I will tell if she had any idea what a real man was she wouldn't be a single mother.
Thankfully, I haven't run into any woman trying to guilt me into taking care of their fuck ups... lately.
A little over 10 years ago I was on the bus and saw this really fine chick, so I started chatting her up to get her number and she says she's "on the way to get something for one of her daughters"
"One...of your daughters? How many daughters do you have?"
"Four"
Umm... How many kids do you have?"
"Ten"
"Oooooh...umm, look at the time. I got to go."
How the fuck do you have 10 kids? How the fuck are you a single mother to 10 God damn kids?
Bump for later
So many variables in this discussion on 1 topic. My favorite variable is the “good black man.”
Anyway, still enjoying the discussion y’all are having. Y’all perspectives are very interesting. I’ve gained ways to look at things at certain angles based on some responses here. The more perspective, the better.
And so many logical people on this board that can approach a single topic at a completely different angle
Anyway, still enjoying the discussion y’all are having. Y’all perspectives are very interesting. I’ve gained ways to look at things at certain angles based on some responses here. The more perspective, the better.
And so many logical people on this board that can approach a single topic at a completely different angle
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One of my brothers is like that, him and his babymama used to go at it like cats and dogs, making scenes in public, trashing each other name, police being called, her and his new babymama fighting, some of everything and all the while this was going on he was still sneaking over fucking her
You know when we divorced I never had an issue with anyone in regards to my kids. The other thing was I didn't have guys I was dating around my kids. My time with my guy would be when my kids were with their dad, etc. But I never tried to force anyone to accept my kids, but it was known they are first and they are mine and their dads.
As my kids got older and they did meet someone, no one felt I was looking for a father for them. I think that's why when I hear stuff like that, it's funny.
Another thing was I wouldn't date anyone without kids because they have a different type of understanding in regards to kids. If I hear a man say he hasn't seen his kids in months or years, he was automatically out because he immediately was viewed as a deadbeat and is not responsible, because there is no real excuse not to see your kids.
Even with my kids being adults now if they are here and I'm even talking on the phone to someone, I get off the phone and talk later. It's like church and state, I separate the two.
See, now we're cookin' with Crisco! This is the part of the game a lot of women get fucked up. I can ABSOLUTELY respect this. This brings balance to the relationship.
Co-Sign and I second that motion!
I have said in many of threads about this topic and similar ones.
I have been there, done that and got it on my resume' when it comes to dating a single mother. I will never, ever do it again, no matter what. Its a choice I can happily live with.
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Your comparison is a guy thinking a woman is good solely based on looks I'm referring to actual things of substance ie. Character etc. Y'all act like people don't switch up once something happens they don't like. And of course they aren't good men walking away from their responsibilities that's why I put the term in quotations but anyway carry on..
That 'switch up' things goes both ways lady. Now I'm not condoning any man skirting his responsibilities- fuck that shit- but I'll be damned if all these women were victims of circumstance beyond their control. Couldn't some of these same women switched it up and the real bitch came out once the bun got in the oven?
Hell, half the of all pro sports relationships is based on a 'trap a nigga' model! Get a nigga sprung, get a baby, get rid of him, live off the baby money....RIGHT? SWITCH IT UP! Aren't their reality shows based on that shit? Trapping cats could be considered a COTTAGE INDUSTRY at this point.
That being said, there is no reason why a child should be without their father in their life short of death in my opinion....
There's TONS of reasons why a lot of these chicks are single however- a lot of those reasons self inflicted.
Let's not play dumb here. A lot of y'all women be 'pretending' too.
Lastly, you know what life tells those men who get with a women who 'switches it up' on them???
"SUCKS TO BE YOU. YOU SHOULD HAVE CHOOSE BETTER."
Choose better ladies.
*two cents*
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You are right, everybody ain't built for the "sucker" life. A black man with his shit together got too many better options, locally, nationally, and internationally.
If I am going to spend my time and money, I am getting what the fuck I want, and I don't want or need a "ready made" family. Billions of women on this planet, who the fuck wants or needs a women with kids as a wife? Why should i settle for being second, third, fourth, or fifth priority in my own fucking wife's life, but she wants me to make her and her kids first priority? It's hard enough to love and satisfy one person in a home, how the fuck you gonna satisfy a house full of people who don't have your blood? That shit is damn near mission impossible.
The people that sign up for that shit usually got low self esteem or they just love misery, and misery loves company.
Pretty dope
THERES the answer! Fuck the amerikkkan sack chasin, shitty attitude hoes! If you got your ducks in a row, look around the globe. You can get TEN TIMES FINER & SMARTER RUG-RATLESS women who give you one tenth the headaches and heartaches. IF... and only if... your shit is in order, the world is your playground.
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COCOBEAUTY, I respect you as a female and as a poster. I am absolutely sure you have read a book before. I started where I started onl to lead you to another place and perspective. so if you didnt finish the reading, how can you possibly gauge the entirety of what i said.. There are some facts that cant be ignored and i tried to address them as fair as possible.
this is typical of male and female communications...i didnt start off with what YOU wanted to hear and after a few sentences, you stopped reading. thats like having a debate without actually allowing the other side to finish their point. I assume that more communication is what we need not less...and you closing yourself off before finding out the crux of the writing is short sighted. you are better than that. please read what i wrote.
i went as hard at the men as I did the women bc we both bear responsibility
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