Black Marriage Negotiations.....Why are Black Women single?

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I'm 36 years old and in all my life i've never once rolled my neck. Mr. D that's not answering the question. It's a deflection. Give me a logical conclusion. Say 3 months. Say 2 years. Trying to lob the ball back at me isn't "logical" it's just trying to pin it back. If you don't know, say you don't know. Say there's no definitive time. And i say if there's no definitive time length then that just doesn't make sense. This anger at black women. And haveing black women being called disloyal and things like that. When there's no real basis for what she's supposed to do in that time.

And then you say, oh well it's your fault you chose badly. That's a cop out answer i feel. I feel it's a cop out because it's a punishment then. So women who wind up with these men after all this time get branded with another discouraging label because she left the guy who wasn't pulling his share as disloyal.

You get with this person, they don't do what they were supposed to do, and then you leave, and you get called disloyal. That's not logical to me.

 

[dHustla]

And you wonder why some women won't give you the time of day So this is your perception of black women? VERY sad and disturbing. If I said this exact same thing about single black men, you would have a story to tell or try to flip it around on black women

Don't do that.

His points are very valid. In fact, they are just as valid as yours.

It goes both ways, sweetheart. That's the point of this thread, to get the point's out there.

Black men and black women are both responsible for the current state of affairs.

 

[dHustla]

Actually I stopped dating them because of their attitudes and the children. I don't understand why but the majority of them seem to always have children. The last one I dated had 3 kids from 2 different guys. One of them got mad for no reason telling me he didn't want his son calling me daddy. Don't know how that started. He pulled a gun on me and threatened to shoot me. Broke ties with her and swore never to date one ever again. Started dating white girls and there was no daddy drama. We did not have to plan our lives around babysitters. We could leave on the last minute and do what ever. I was so happy I could cry. For years I swore loyalty and wanted to only date black women, but the drama and attitude was too much. I was never really happy. Not saying that white women are better, but they are just better for me. They don't have all the issues for some reason.

Ok, all things considered... I see a certain level of cowardice in this.

No disrespect, but........

You got shook because a nigga pulled a gun on you?

Bruh, guns don't kill. People kill. And if the person with the gun ain't got no heart.... they ain't killing shit and they ain't finna let shit die

With that said, you do have some valid points, but drama free black women do exist... they out here.

But, whatever works for you ..... as long as you happy, that's what really matters, so fuck what other people think, myself included. "

 

[dHustla]

How about all the discussions just end and people (men AND women) just start looking at each other as individuals, regardless of race, background, etc.?!? I know I came in this thread, but it disgusted me rather quickly. I know I have to consider background, race, etc. in terms of how it can change the makeup and background of an individual, but it isn't the one variable in the mix that is a prerequisite for a host of other issues/concerns either

Regardless of who I date, what color, etc., I look at him as an individual. I find out about him as an individual, I base my judgment of him as an individual. FUCK all the stuff that is out there about what black women/men do or are like. In my experiences, I have met far too many black men who HATE being prejudged and put in a box, and (black) women are no different...

There, I said my fucking piece...fuck, log off the fucking internet and just date and get out there and experience how beautiful all the hues of people are...and experience how beautiful God made ALL of us...(drops the mic)

So very true, and well said.

We associate race with everything when it really has more to do with our limited perception.

People tend to project more than they percept (perceive. I was trying to rhyme it. )

 

[dHustla]

I'm 36 years old and in all my life i've never once rolled my neck. Mr. D that's not answering the question. It's a deflection. Give me a logical conclusion. Say 3 months. Say 2 years. Trying to lob the ball back at me isn't "logical" it's just trying to pin it back. If you don't know, say you don't know. Say there's no definitive time. And i say if there's no definitive time length then that just doesn't make sense. This anger at black women. And haveing black women being called disloyal and things like that. When there's no real basis for what she's supposed to do in that time.

And then you say, oh well it's your fault you chose badly. That's a cop out answer i feel. I feel it's a cop out because it's a punishment then. So women who wind up with these men after all this time get branded with another discouraging label because she left the guy who wasn't pulling his share as disloyal.

You get with this person, they don't do what they were supposed to do, and then you leave, and you get called disloyal. That's not logical to me.

Pump ya brakes, lil lady.

What I, and Dave, am saying is that it's on a case by case basis. There is not definitive time.... you determine what the time is. It all depends on the relationship and understanding you have with your significant other.

If you know he'd be solid for you if you took an L then do the same for him ... up until the extent you think he would do it for you.

My statement about "blame your decisions" is basically saying that you chose the man with the wrong characteristics. And in doing so you have no one to blame but yourself.

Unless, of course, he changed over the years, because, y'know, people do change. Then in this case, it's still your fault for not supporting him emotionally & psychologically enough to thwart off those thoughts of self-doubt.

We are who we choose to be with.

 

[HALO2]

What aggs me with his list is 7. That's what made me twinge Like wtf? We don't understand YOUR struggles? WTH? We live your struggles. We experience your struggles on TOP of our own.


MADNESS!!!

I'm assuming the struggle is about racism. There still is racism today. It is the number one reason for African American women having low birth rate children. Low birth rate children are also more suceptible to diabetes and hypertension as they get older. So it's a cycle that seems tos continue. Not bragging or anything but I gues I'm lucky, I don't face any racism on a daily basis. The only thing I see are every few months the klan will have a rally and protesters and police come out. But nothing ever happens.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Pump ya brakes, lil lady.

What I, and Dave, am saying is that it's on a case by case basis. There is not definitive time.... you determine what the time is. It all depends on the relationship and understanding you have with your significant other.

If you know he'd be solid for you if you took an L then do the same for him ... up until the extent you think he would do it for you.

My statement about "blame your decisions" is basically saying that you chose the man with the wrong characteristics. And in doing so you have no one to blame but yourself.

Unless, of course, he changed over the years, because, y'know, people do change. Then in this case, it's still your fault for not supporting him emotionally & psychologically enough to thwart off those thoughts of self-doubt.

We are who we choose to be with.

We disagree.

 

[Top_Bunk]

I can say there's no good black men. Because if i don't see any, i can say they're not there. Just because you think a guy is "good". Doesn't make him GOOD in my eyes.

Obama lacks things i value in a man.

The world is bigger then your perspective, perception and personal experiences. I dont know if you understand the depth of that statement but that's big

 

[followup]

SIMPLE REASONS

1) Fat and doing nothing about it.
2) Unhappy and refusing to get to the bottom of it.
3) Most unapproachable group of women alive.
4) Prefer weaker men, but claim the want a strong one.
5) Avoid men who will call them on their shit.
6) Only take advice from females in the same boat at them.
7) They don't respect the black male's struggle. Belittle our struggles.
8) Raised by the worst example of a woman into a copycat failure.
9) Prefer fashion or substance.
10) Think the world owes them something because they got a fat ass or good pussy.

Don't do that.

His points are very valid. In fact, they are just as valid as yours.

It goes both ways, sweetheart. That's the point of this thread, to get the point's out there.

Black men and black women are both responsible for the current state of affairs.

His points are valid eh? His points are why black women are single huh? You really mean that? Or you being an ass?
1) You really see mostly fat black women around you? If so, what's YOUR body habitus????
2) How do you know what every black woman's happiness is? Don't mistake complaining about not being MARRIED for being unhappy. Plenty of happy single black women, but most PEOPLE of ALL colors would like to have a companion
3) If you think that black women are the most unapproachable group of women alive, maybe you need to re-evaluate your approach. Or more importantly, re-evaluate your mentality.
4) You are a fool if you think preferring weaker men, is limited to black women. There are women of all colors like this and it's a personality issue, not a skin color issue.
5) Again, a personality issue, nothing to do with her skin color.
6) Black women take no more advicce from their friends than black men do from theirs (and don't try to lie about it). There is nothing wrong with getting other people's advice--as long as you talk to your bf/gf/hubbie/wife about the issues.
7) I don't even know where this type of mess comes from. First of all, define the 'black man's struggle'. And how do you separate the black man's struggle from the black woman's? A responsible black man will have a responsible black woman right there struggling with him. But for me, if your are a trifling man, I'm not dealing with you and definitely not struggling with you. If no woman wants to ride with you, look inside.
8) That same woman who raised black women also raised you so you should be a perfect match
9) If these are the type of women you surround yourself with, don't go generalizing to the rest. Like I said before, we have to be accountable for the people we associate with.
10) There are plenty of data that SHOW black women don't think anybody owes them anything. Education-, career-, and responsibility-wise. But, there IS a group of black people who are always playing the victim and pointing fingers at others--most commonly pointing those fingers at the black woman.

I will never say that black women are perfect, because nobody is perfect. But don't make crazy generalizations based on the people in your neighborhood or those you choose to associate with....

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

The world is bigger then your perspective, perception and personal experiences. I dont know if you understand the depth of that statement but that's big

You don't understand the depth of what i quantify as a man, let alone a good man. You don't know what i know, who i know. So you're not qualified to tell me what i know. Just saying really. What i know is what i know based upon what i believe to be true. Now.

If there is other evidence presented to me to the contrary i'll take it no problem. But there hasn't been any.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Ay, What gives? The video wasn't silly.

It's a positive take on the actual silly animated video. Oh, I guess that's the one you were talking about. @ myself.
My threads >>>>>>>>

'Preciate you defending me to you, D.

I'm 36 years old and in all my life i've never once rolled my neck. Mr. D that's not answering the question. It's a deflection. Give me a logical conclusion. Say 3 months. Say 2 years. Trying to lob the ball back at me isn't "logical" it's just trying to pin it back. If you don't know, say you don't know. Say there's no definitive time. And i say if there's no definitive time length then that just doesn't make sense. This anger at black women. And haveing black women being called disloyal and things like that. When there's no real basis for what she's supposed to do in that time.

There is no definite answer to that question. It's not even reasonable to think there is. My answer is the absolute correct answer because you would want your mate to extend the same loyalty and patience to you as you would to them. If you would be okay with them giving you 2 months or 2 years, then that's fair for you to hold them to.

And then you say, oh well it's your fault you chose badly. That's a cop out answer i feel. I feel it's a cop out because it's a punishment then. So women who wind up with these men after all this time get branded with another discouraging label because she left the guy who wasn't pulling his share as disloyal.

Not just women, men too. Men just as often pick poor mates and stick it out for some misplaced sense of loyalty but that's thier fault for picking poorly. The idea that you can pick poorly and there be no consequences is completely unrealistic and childish. That's the cop out.

You get with this person, they don't do what they were supposed to do, and then you leave, and you get called disloyal. That's not logical to me.

It's not but that's not exactly what I'm saying. If you have a bad mate, then no one should just sit and suffer but that's not the same as having a mate who hits a hard road and bouncing, then you're disloyal.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

You don't understand the depth of what i quantify as a man, let alone a good man. You don't know what i know, who i know. So you're not qualified to tell me what i know. Just saying really. What i know is what i know based upon what i believe to be true. Now.

If there is other evidence presented to me to the contrary i'll take it no problem. But there hasn't been any.

It doesn't really matter. You can say you don't know any (which I doubt, nobody has that negative a circle), but you can't say there aren't any because you don't know every Black man.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

My stuff is bolded

His points are valid eh? His points are why black women are single huh? You really mean that? Or you being an ass?
1) You really see mostly fat black women around you? If so, what's YOUR body habitus???? America itself overall has a weight problem. Not just black women. lol lots of these dudes act like they're all ripped and cut and everything else. I see just as many big guys as women
2) How do you know what every black woman's happiness is? Don't mistake complaining about not being MARRIED for being unhappy. Plenty of happy single black women, but most PEOPLE of ALL colors would like to have a companion
3) If you think that black women are the most unapproachable group of women alive, maybe you need to re-evaluate your approach. Or more importantly, re-evaluate your mentality.I don't know about this 1. He may have something here. Just about every complaint i've ever heard about black women from men is that we're hard to approach. I've heard it from guys myself about me. On the OTHER HAND..........I do think 99% of males are weak milksops anyway. So....hmmmm
4) You are a fool if you think preferring weaker men, is limited to black women. There are women of all colors like this and it's a personality issue, not a skin color issue.
5) Again, a personality issue, nothing to do with her skin color.
6) Black women take no more advicce from their friends than black men do from theirs (and don't try to lie about it). There is nothing wrong with getting other people's advice--as long as you talk to your bf/gf/hubbie/wife about the issues.I always thought this was a control issue with males. They don't want you to talk or get advice from anyone else to throw off their already meager control over you.
7) I don't even know where this type of mess comes from. First of all, define the 'black man's struggle'. And how do you separate the black man's struggle from the black woman's? A responsible black man will have a responsible black woman right there struggling with him. But for me, if your are a trifling man, I'm not dealing with you and definitely not struggling with you. If no woman wants to ride with you, look inside.This 1 perturbed me too. I didn't get it at all. I agree with what you're saying here 100fold tho
8) That same woman who raised black women also raised you so you should be a perfect match
9) If these are the type of women you surround yourself with, don't go generalizing to the rest. Like I said before, we have to be accountable for the people we associate with.
10) There are plenty of data that SHOW black women don't think anybody owes them anything. Education-, career-, and responsibility-wise. But, there IS a group of black people who are always playing the victim and pointing fingers at others--most commonly pointing those fingers at the black woman.

I will never say that black women are perfect, because nobody is perfect.Speak for yaself sis...FLEXXXXXXXXXXX lol But don't make crazy generalizations based on the people in your neighborhood or those you choose to associate with....

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

It doesn't really matter. You can say you don't know any (which I doubt, nobody has that negative a circle), but you can't say there aren't any because you don't know every Black man.

Like i said my definition is probably a little more stingent than others.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

'Preciate you defending me to you, D.



There is no definite answer to that question. It's not even reasonable to think there is. My answer is the absolute correct answer because you would want your mate to extend the same loyalty and patience to you as you would to them. If you would be okay with them giving you 2 months or 2 years, then that's fair for you to hold them to.

I don't see it that way. I see it as much deeper as the tit for tat.

Not just women, men too. Men just as often pick poor mates and stick it out for some misplaced sense of loyalty but that's thier fault for picking poorly. The idea that you can pick poorly and there be no consequences is completely unrealistic and childish. That's the cop out.

Not even close to the same scale. And definitely not in my view of what loyalty means. I do believe people do pick poorly. I'm not really arguing THAT aspect of it. I'm arguing the aspect of labeling black women disloyal because when they do leave. It's a stigma. It's said all the time, "black women are disloyal". That's not fair to me. It's judging a woman on a level that just doesn't make sense.

It's not but that's not exactly what I'm saying. If you have a bad mate, then no one should just sit and suffer but that's not the same as having a mate who hits a hard road and bouncing, then you're disloyal.

I agree. Except for the last part. I'm still wanting some kind of idea of a time limit. I believe personally it should be up to each person, their threshold that they can suffer through. The chick who we spoke of before with the guy who got out of prison and she gave him a chance. He's not pushing off from land. How long is she supposed to wait? Meh

 

[Upgrade Dave]

3) If you think that black women are the most unapproachable group of women alive, maybe you need to re-evaluate your approach. Or more importantly, re-evaluate your mentality.I don't know about this 1. He may have something here. Just about every complaint i've ever heard about black women from men is that we're hard to approach. I've heard it from guys myself about me. On the OTHER HAND..........I do think 99% of males are weak milksops anyway. So....hmmmm

Some of the nicest, sweetest women I've met were Black women but a lot of them were trying to feel me out. As a Southern gentleman, I try to be polite but far too often Black women I pass every day work to avoid eye contact and don't speak. I'm over it now but some sisters need to get that together.



6) Black women take no more advicce from their friends than black men do from theirs (and don't try to lie about it). There is nothing wrong with getting other people's advice--as long as you talk to your bf/gf/hubbie/wife about the issues.I always thought this was a control issue with males. They don't want you to talk or get advice from anyone else to throw off their already meager control over you.[/QUOTE]
Not a control issue as much as a privacy issue. How am I wrong for not wanting you to spread our business to those busybodies you know and associate with? I have personally had this come back to affect me. So when women are looking to vent or seek advise, at least pick a friend in your situation. Not that single, never married, no kid, renting a one bedroom friend. What's she going to do next? Teach you how to fly a plane, something else she can't do?

10) There are plenty of data that SHOW black women don't think anybody owes them anything. Education-, career-, and responsibility-wise. But, there IS a group of black people who are always playing the victim and pointing fingers at others--most commonly pointing those fingers at the black woman.

As I tell the misogynist on the main board, neither sex can claim to not play the victim.

Like i said my definition is probably a little more stingent than others.

Still wouldn't matter. When you've met every Black man, come back with your definition. Until then, as our friend said

But don't make crazy generalizations based on the people in your neighborhood or those you choose to associate with..

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Not even close to the same scale. And definitely not in my view of what loyalty means. I do believe people do pick poorly. I'm not really arguing THAT aspect of it. I'm arguing the aspect of labeling black women disloyal because when they do leave. It's a stigma. It's said all the time, "black women are disloyal". That's not fair to me. It's judging a woman on a level that just doesn't make sense.

Are you kidding? I know it's more common to hear the wails of women and their problems but that doesn't mean men don't suffer from them, we just don't share them. I think that's the attraction to what was started as a porn board. BGOL has become a spot where it seems like somebody is listening to men's complaints.
I made a pretty clear distinction between a woman (person) leaving a shitty companion and being disloyal. Every time isn't the same thing because every situation isn't the same.

I agree. Except for the last part. I'm still wanting some kind of idea of a time limit. I believe personally it should be up to each person, their threshold that they can suffer through. The chick who we spoke of before with the guy who got out of prison and she gave him a chance. He's not pushing off from land. How long is she supposed to wait? Meh

I'm for a touch of selfishness but that's too much because what end up with is one partner who holds the other down for as months and months and then when the shoe's on the other foot, then it becomes "You got 6 weeks before my instincts kick in and I have to find me a better provider".

 

[BCAA2009]

I can sense what the end result of this thread is going to be.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Some of the nicest, sweetest women I've met were Black women but a lot of them were trying to feel me out. As a Southern gentleman, I try to be polite but far too often Black women I pass every day work to avoid eye contact and don't speak. I'm over it now but some sisters need to get that together.

I'm not participating in this "bLack women don't smile at me" Convo again. lol This isn't what i was thinking of though when i read that sentence. I was thinking not in passing but a direct dating approachability standpoint.This guy i talk too, he's an older gent. Told me the other day how he so liked to see when sistas smiled. And in all his years of commuting on the train ride to work he'd never seen a sista just pleasantly smiling. He said he complimented her and she still smiled. I said that's fine and dandy.

This is how i'm going to interpret what he said. Black women by and large aren't making my day brighter or better. If i saw them smiling i'd feel better.

I never see black men just walking around all happy and smiling either. I don't find them to be very approachable either. Come to think of it, White guys are indeed far more approachable than black men.



6) Black women take no more advicce from their friends than black men do from theirs (and don't try to lie about it). There is nothing wrong with getting other people's advice--as long as you talk to your bf/gf/hubbie/wife about the issues.I always thought this was a control issue with males. They don't want you to talk or get advice from anyone else to throw off their already meager control over you.[/QUOTE]

Not a control issue as much as a privacy issue. How am I wrong for not wanting you to spread our business to those busybodies you know and associate with? I have personally had this come back to affect me. So when women are looking to vent or seek advise, at least pick a friend in your situation. Not that single, never married, no kid, renting a one bedroom friend. What's she going to do next? Teach you how to fly a plane, something else she can't do?

Still wouldn't matter. When you've met every Black man, come back with your definition. Until then, as our friend said

But don't make crazy generalizations based on the people in your neighborhood or those you choose to associate with..

I don't need to meet everyone. Just a good amount to formulate my own data.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Are you kidding? I know it's more common to hear the wails of women and their problems but that doesn't mean men don't suffer from them, we just don't share them. I think that's the attraction to what was started as a porn board. BGOL has become a spot where it seems like somebody is listening to men's complaints.
I made a pretty clear distinction between a woman (person) leaving a shitty companion and being disloyal. Every time isn't the same thing because every situation isn't the same.

Ok. No they're not all the same. But pretty similar. IN today's day and age. And i think i've been putting in my own views, and maybe you have too over others actions. I gotta watch that.

But in the end the result of what i'm getting from alot of guys is that women are disloyal because if he's "down and out" She'll leave him. She won't stick with me through hard times. Which is bull. A great deal of women will. The thing that seems to be the divergent factor is a matter of time.

I'm for a touch of selfishness but that's too much because what end up with is one partner who holds the other down for as months and months and then when the shoe's on the other foot, then it becomes "You got 6 weeks before my instincts kick in and I have to find me a better provider".

In that case you're describing, Yeah that's foul. Not what's usually happening though. Not saying it hasn't. But i'm not going to place odds on it working the other way.

 

[Top_Bunk]

You don't understand the depth of what i quantify as a man, let alone a good man. You don't know what i know, who i know. So you're not qualified to tell me what i know. Just saying really. What i know is what i know based upon what i believe to be true. Now.

If there is other evidence presented to me to the contrary i'll take it no problem. But there hasn't been any.

exactly, i dont. I dont need to either. A man isn't defined as good or bad based off of legacy_infinity's perspective.

Men define what a good man is, not women.

*disclaimer because i know how this will be take out of context if it is taken out. (I said men define what a good man is not women. I didn't say "men define women are attracted to".


With that being a fact look at the happily married men around you and happily married women around you and convince them that their husband isn't/wasnt good because they dont suit your standards.

It's obvious there are good men out here. It's just you pass them up. Now if you were to say "black women are single because we aren't attracted to the black men that are on point" then i can agree with you because you have your likes and dislikes. but to say it's because of us....come on now.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I disagree. If what i quantify it as, is what's suitable to me? I can say whatever i desire. I can believe it just as i believe rain is wet. So if i believe that there's no good black men? Then that's what it is. I can say it. And until it's proven different to me? It's the way it is. Why would i leave you to defining what you are? That's like letting the criminals decide they're not really murders, they want to be called and classified as jay walkers.

Obvious to whom? To you? Your idea of what a good man is doesn't have to fit mine. Mr. Snitch.

 

[Top_Bunk]

I disagree. If what i quantify it as, is what's suitable to me? I can say whatever i desire. I can believe it just as i believe rain is wet. So if i believe that there's no good black men? Then that's what it is. I can say it. And until it's proven different to me? It's the way it is. Why would i leave you to defining what you are? That's like letting the criminals decide they're not really murders, they want to be called and classified as jay walkers.

Obvious to whom? To you? Your idea of what a good man is doesn't have to fit mine. Mr. Snitch.

Fine there aren't any good black men at all.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Fine there aren't any good black men at all.

lol There might be. Millions of american black men out there, i'm sure statistically speaking there's 1 or 2.

 

[melonpecan]

Uh...



*taps mic



I...like sex. That is all.




*takes awkward moment to introduce a sexy dance party

​

 

[BCAA2009]

So where's the women that squeal "don't generalize" at?

Or does bullshit phrases get a pass because of who said it and where it was posted.




Smh@lesbots and their delusions.

 

[melonpecan]

Does the words "Sexy dance party" not mean anything to you?


...




I don't feel good...I'm not even going to bother today.

 

[Top_Bunk]

So where's the women that squeal "don't generalize" at?

Or does bullshit phrases get a pass because of who said it and where it was posted.




Smh@lesbots and their delusions.

They are in this thread but say it in terms of not generalizing men because oprah conditioned them well.

It's funny how women deflect their issues. Particularly black women. If you say "black women have attitudes" you here "white women have attitudes too".

But when you speak of black men being in jail you never hear a black man deflect the statement by saying "white men are in jail to"

Shit is sickening to see how brainwashed a lot of women are esp. our sistas

 

[Upgrade Dave]

I never see black men just walking around all happy and smiling either. I don't find them to be very approachable either. Come to think of it, White guys are indeed far more approachable than black men.

If I was a White man in America, I'd be smiling like a muhfucka all day and night. I'd sleep smiling.
Brothers do walk with that with hard rock look, probably why hypertension is so high. But when we cross each other in the store or something, we usually exchange a head nod or something. Can sisters head nod? We'd take it.

I don't need to meet everyone. Just a good amount to formulate my own data.

That's the same line the idiots use on the main board to trash Black women. It's nonsense both ways.

 

[DeSiRe]

Men define what a good man is, not women.

so who defines what a good woman is?

 

[BCAA2009]

so who defines what a good woman is?

a good woman does, though you rarely hear about it.

 

[Top_Bunk]

a good woman does, though you rarely hear about it.

Wow. So true.

Any man that doesn't match a woman's fantasy isn't a good man. We know how dumb that shit sounds right.......and you got some women that believe that just because she isn't attracted to the guy that he isn't a good black man.

I have passed up some good women that were dorks and had no experience with men (which means lil to no baggage). They weren't perfect but you know what.............she had good qualities. Just because i dont want her doesn't make her a bad woman. The world is bigger then my perspective. (no pun intended)

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

I never see black men just walking around all happy and smiling either. I don't find them to be very approachable either. Come to think of it, White guys are indeed far more approachable than black men.

If I was a White man in America, I'd be smiling like a muhfucka all day and night. I'd sleep smiling.
Brothers do walk with that with hard rock look, probably why hypertension is so high. But when we cross each other in the store or something, we usually exchange a head nod or something. Can sisters head nod? We'd take it.

As long as you don't look threatening and potentially raping, i don't see why not.

That's the same line the idiots use on the main board to trash Black women. It's nonsense both ways.

To be fair i did leave wiggle room sir.

 

[followup]

That's the same line the idiots use on the main board to trash Black women. It's nonsense both ways.

True...BUT like true hypocrites: a lot of the men on the board will make generalizations based on THEIR experiences, but let a woman do the same and all hell breaks loose. Trust me, it's happened to me and others several times. When I call them on it, they can't say shit Generalizations usually are not good to make, but at least qualify it: where I live in the hood, where I meet girls at the hole in the wall club, when I throw myself at men, etc.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Yeah i was just asked is this how i really feel about black men. And yes. It's true. I believe for the most part there aren't any good black men. Maybe there? Could be? Possibly. I haven't seen them. I can find fault with just about every example alot of people have given me. Could men turn themselves around and be good black men? Sure can. Definitely can. I would love for them to be.

Is it a process? Sure is. Definitely. I accept and understand that. Is it a process any are doing right now? I don't believe so. I believe the level of selfishness black men display in this day and age is crippling and will lead to our destruction.

Can i be wrong? According to someone elses view? Hell yeah. To mine? No. But then i'm not really available to want another man. We're just discussing ideas here as far as i'm concerned. Would i discourage another woman from being with a man i didn't consider a good one? Hell to the nawl. If he's good enough for her? Then that's lovely. I will do everything in my power to assist them in their happiness in anyway possible.

If she asked me what i thought about him? I'd tell her straight up. Because i'm a friend and that's what friends are supposed to do.