Black Marriage Negotiations.....Why are Black Women single?

[dHustla]

I know, I know.... not this again. But while looking for notorious "black marriage negotiations" video I found this and it struck a chord with me. There are a lot of valid and well spoken points made in this video by the sisters as well as the brothers.

This is not a black woman bashing thread. I hope to hear from the usuals, followup, sean69, upgrade dave, onyx, Legacy_Infinity, MelonPecan, Iz, ChiCutie, CTs Finest, lady scorpio, Sexy scorpio, BCAA2009, doggish_098, , and last, but not least mailboxpimp. *yeah, I did a rollcall *



What the brother @ 6:03 really rings true with me. I've never seen a model of a relationship, marriage or otherwise, outside of the Huxtables.

The sister immediately following him, @ 6:25 is preaching that gospel.

We, as a people, don't usually seek that genuine love for one another. We get caught up in the appearance & allure of what the relationship looks like, to us and others, instead of what the relationship feels like. I tell my young patnas all the time, "image is nothing, thirst is everything", in reference to their drive. We cannot constantly seek out the superficial and expect to end up with substance.

 

[melonpecan]

I gotta come back to this cause I got some mad homework on a deadline right now but I do have one quick thing to say.


I have seen two marriages that have lasted and worked but it is not without its flaws like everything else. Sometimes I think it is those flaws that make it work. If you think like that not seeing relationships work shouldn't turn anyone off, but should encourage them more to make it work...as it comes natural negotiating in the end not in the beginning.





I will be so glad when December gets here.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

What's wrong with black relationships? Black Males. Why are black women single? Weak Sauce Black Males.

/thread.

 

[BCAA2009]

One of the reasons? Weak sauce black women.

And their pathetic decision making abilities.


/end thread

 

[Southpaw]

What's wrong with black relationships? Black Males. Why are black women single? Weak Sauce Black Males.

/thread.

Your statement is the reason why Black women are single.

 

[BCAA2009]

But seriously, there are many reasons. In my opinion, one of the biggest reasons are who she surrounds herself with. If most, if not all, of her friends are bust down baby mamas and liquor whores, chances are, she is as well. What decentan wants to associate with that? After years of being a weekend fuck and chuck, a vast majority of females "wake up" and realize that the 10 year party has come to a close. They see the men who thirsted for them before have traded them in for the new bunch of dumbasses coming out of high school. So they have only themselves and the ill persons surrounding them to keep them company. They blame everyone but the female in the mirror.

 

[followup]

I'll start the video now until I have to leave for dinner...if it's the S.O.S., I'm giving the OP a black eye

Oh this is like Real Talk Tuesdays out here...cool. I like the first guy so far...he is correct!

 

[followup]

OOOOOOHHHH WEEEEEE!!!! These people are on point!!!! I agree with the first several people's opinions...

Love the man @ 7 minutes....if you are on BGOL--HOLLA!!!

Chick at 7:30 shut up LOL!

 

[followup]

Am I weird that I hate tucking in my shirt, but I love a man who tucks in his shirt??? Great vid!

 

[dHustla]

Am I weird that I hate tucking in my shirt, but I love a man who tucks in his shirt??? Great vid!

More than weird. Weirdo.

You just be wanting to check out my package.

 

[Crown&Coke]

Good vid...alot of valid points made. I have heard women being single for all kinds of reasons. I think part of the reason with men and women wanting to be more independent, they see marriage as losing something in themselves rather than building something together. ​

 

[dHustla]

What's wrong with black relationships? Black Males. Why are black women single? Weak Sauce Black Males.

/thread.

One of the reasons? Weak sauce black women.

And their pathetic decision making abilities.


/end thread

Your statement is the reason why Black women are single.

Or maybe even because they don't know what they want..... to eat pussy with a ring in their eyebrow or suck dick with a tonge-ring.

 

[dHustla]

Good vid...alot of valid points made. I have heard women being single for all kinds of reasons. I think part of the reason with men and women wanting to be more independent, they see marriage as losing something in themselves rather than building something together. ​

Well said....good point.

I'm guilty of this.

I'm really a free spirit, I enjoy my own company. So much so, that I really don't mind doing everything alone. I know this sounds really unnatural, but it's how I grew up. I've never really been close to anyone.

And losing this freedom is frightening to me...its no way for me to live. I see it as being akin to being locked up, in solitary, for life.

With this other person beside me, how can I spread my wings? How will I be able to land? This bitch gon' make me crash!

 

[dHustla]

I'll start the video now until I have to leave for dinner...if it's the S.O.S., I'm giving the OP a black eye

Oh this is like Real Talk Tuesdays out here...cool. I like the first guy so far...he is correct!

You know I love it when women hit me!

 

[CT's Finest]

Man, this topic again? Aight, since I was named in the roll call, I'll check this out and then share some feelings/reactions to it once I've had the chance to...

 

[Crown&Coke]

Well said....good point.

I'm guilty of this.

I'm really a free spirit, I enjoy my own company. So much so, that I really don't mind doing everything alone. I know this sounds really unnatural, but it's how I grew up. I've never really been close to anyone.

And losing this freedom is frightening to me...its no way for me to live. I see it as being akin to being locked up, in solitary, for life.

With this other person beside me, how can I spread my wings? How will I be able to land? This bitch gon' make me crash!

Alot of men feel like that. Most of it comes from a believed notion that once you are married you are supposed to sit at home with your wife and kids all day and thats it. Alot of what we men hear all our lives is how getting married is like giving up and the end of all fun. ​

 

[kwazdog]

 

[dHustla]

Alot of men feel like that. Most of it comes from a believed notion that once you are married you are supposed to sit at home with your wife and kids all day and thats it. Alot of what we men hear all our lives is how getting married is like giving up and the end of all fun. ​

Well, this is true, but in my case I'm sure it comes from a lack of meaningful relationships, period.

Me never being close to anyone lends me to feel like people get in the damn way....when in actuality, everyone has to compromise in any kind of relationship, personal or professional, romantic or platonic, friend or kin.

 

[followup]

More than weird. Weirdo.

You just be wanting to check out my package.

Oh damn....I never even thought of it like that...Subconscious crotch watching LMAO!!!

 

[sean69]

 

[onyxfemme]

 

[sean69]

...

 

[Upgrade Dave]

What's wrong with black relationships? Black Males. Why are black women single? Weak Sauce Black Males.

/thread.

One of the reasons? Weak sauce black women.

And their pathetic decision making abilities.


/end thread

Ya'll cut that out.

Good vid...alot of valid points made. I have heard women being single for all kinds of reasons. I think part of the reason with men and women wanting to be more independent, they see marriage as losing something in themselves rather than building something together. ​

Very true.

Another reason is poor role models combined with listening to people who have no idea what they're talking about. How do you take advice from someone on their third and fourth marriage or someone who hasn't had the first?

I like what the sister said at the beginning about being selective and waiting for the man who's "everything you want". That person doesn't exist and if you think they do now, they won't be later because people change. So while a woman sits around waiting for "Mr. Perfect", a lot of "Mr. Pretty Damn Good"s are going to pass her by.

 

[followup]

thanks for getting off of my back about my views on marriage LMAO

 

[BCAA2009]

Ya'll cut that out.

cut what out? I gave a serious response right underneath the one you quoted. But it.......


...........ah fuck it. This is the reason I don't post on this gotdamn side any longer. Back to ROH....

 

[onyxfemme]

.......................

...

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

lol I don't think black women in this country can really be in a long term healthy relationship due to many of our upbringing, and if it's not f'ed up on a woman's end, the male is eff'ed up there. Balanced people just don't seem to exist enough to make these things work for long periods of time.

And my thinking is, maybe this is how relationships have evolved? Maybe this is how things are SUPPOSED to be now?

 

[sean69]

thanks for getting off of my back about my views on marriage LMAO

 

[Upgrade Dave]

cut what out? I gave a serious response right underneath the one you quoted. But it.......


...........ah fuck it. This is the reason I don't post on this gotdamn side any longer. Back to ROH....

Relax, B. Maybe I should have stuck a smiley on that one. One of my reasons isn't too different from the one you posted.

Let me know how that ROH is going. I don't have HDNet.

lol I don't think black women in this country can really be in a long term healthy relationship due to many of our upbringing, and if it's not f'ed up on a woman's end, the male is eff'ed up there. Balanced people just don't seem to exist enough to make these things work for long periods of time.

And my thinking is, maybe this is how relationships have evolved? Maybe this is how things are SUPPOSED to be now?

Nope. People can do whatever they want to do but they have to want to, know how to and be willing to put in the work.
Balanced people exist no less now than they ever did. As long as people get married with the "if it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce" mindset, they're doomed to fail.

 

[followup]

Guess not...anyway, everybody does not believe in marriage. And marriage just won't work for some. The paper is not as important as the ceremony to me. In front of witnesses. That's why I don't get how someone attends your wedding and then does not say anything if they catch your husband cheating. Oh well...marriage/monogamy can be good, but in a lot of cases it's for the birds.

 

[followup]

Nope. People can do whatever they want to do but they have to want to, know how to and be willing to put in the work.
Balanced people exist no less now than they ever did. As long as people get married with the "if it doesn't work out, we can always get a divorce" mindset, they're doomed to fail.

The only exception to this rule is cheating in my opinion.

 

[dHustla]

Guess not...anyway, everybody does not believe in marriage. And marriage just won't work for some. The paper is not as important as the ceremony to me. In front of witnesses. That's why I don't get how someone attends your wedding and then does not say anything if they catch your husband cheating. Oh well...marriage/monogamy can be good, but in a lot of cases it's for the birds.

cuz it ain't their business!




a guest pastor at the church I go to on Clifton Springs rd. said last year.... "just 'cuz you know something don't make it your business".


Handle your business at home. If it was me and my homeboy and he didn't say shit......he would still be my potna after the divorce.

 

[dHustla]

Guess not...anyway, everybody does not believe in marriage. And marriage just won't work for some. The paper is not as important as the ceremony to me. In front of witnesses. That's why I don't get how someone attends your wedding and then does not say anything if they catch your husband cheating. Oh well...marriage/monogamy can be good, but in a lot of cases it's for the birds.

1 reason black woman are single!

 

[sean69]

Guess not...anyway, everybody does not believe in marriage. And marriage just won't work for some. The paper is not as important as the ceremony to me. In front of witnesses. That's why I don't get how someone attends your wedding and then does not say anything if they catch your husband cheating. Oh well...marriage/monogamy can be good, but in a lot of cases it's for the birds.

 

[BCAA2009]

Black women want the wedding and not the marriage. You all want to be a bride but not a wife.

You want the show, you want the attention. You consider the wedding "your day."


Continue going to those weddings as a guest in the pews and never at the altar. Statements like the one made by followup are the reason why so many of you shall remain single. Alone. Unloved. And on an express train to self destruction.