YOU Ever BUSTED One of Your Chicks CREEPING,,,

Please make no judgment until you have finished reading, but I hope she wasn't serious about this abuse thing, because if she were than I see this as a bold face lie. Not only was she the love of my life but she was also my best friend. When I met her she was a sexually repressed tomboy, who at 15 (going on 16) parents blocked any content they thought unsuitable for her (she never saw players club, boyz n the hood, menace 2 society, soul food, and any other movie with mature content) and still haven't gave her the talk. So she would date questionable guys and act out sexually (I know from fact that she was a virgin but what else she may have done I have no idea), she would go around the school asking to see other guy's junk.
I left for a year to go to school in my home town and when I returned in the 12th grade resumed our relationship. During this time we took it to a sexual nature. Like she said before we have been together going on eight years, and during this time we have had our fair share of arguments. We would argue and curse at each other but never tried to harm each other, you can ask anyone who knows us. If we ever hit each other it was normally trading licks and usually in fun or 4play (people can vouch for that too) and if anyone else has ever traded licks before (which I’m sure a lot of you remember doing in school with friends) one of us could some time take it too far, never with any intent to hurt the other but still end up causing the other to get frustrated. Want examples? One time she was aiming to play slap me and caught me in the eye. This smarted so bad that I told her to leave me alone till I calmed down. Another time I pulled she shirt over her head hockey style and held her there while she took blind swings at me, this pissed her off so much that she refused to talk to me for the remainder of the day. I think one thing I that was truly an error on my part was teasing her, which I haven't done now unless provoked in about a year and a half to two years.
As I said I thought of her as one of my best friends. I'm an artist and a pc, she is a writer. Both of us like the same shows (even if I tell her I don't like them *cough* project runway *cough), we both like anime and manga, comic books, art, and going out to eat to try new foods. So as I stated before because of an error on my part I treated her like my friend who normally consist of a few pals from high school, my older brother, little sister, and cousins. We normally trade insults and banter to see who could top each other. She came into this willingly after I warned her that they and I meant no real harm just trying to one up her. But she secretly couldn't take it because she had never done it before, not having any close relatives near her age, and not a lot of friends because of school life stigmata (she was called nerd and white girl and other names because she was smart, I likewise was call some names before I joined the wrestling team and beefed up like nerd and white boy because I was smart and like rock), but she never told anyone and started to bottle up. So at home we would trade insults which was proficiently lacking in, so close to a year to two years (after our daughter was conceived but not yet born) ago she told me that I hurt her feelings which I took to heart and told her I would desist and have tried my best ever since.

But here is where she said the ball dropped. Both of were recently unemployed, her because she had just graduated from college and had only student work, I because of an error on my part which I admit was proportionally stupid but will not get in to. So both of us were stressed trying to find jobs and finding out that our degrees did jack shit for us. It got to the point where we would argue over stupid shit, and then she would just stop talking a bottle up shit and not tell me what’s wrong. This only added to the frustration and after one moronic spat between us she pissed me off and I refused to say anything to her (another error on my part). This is where she told me she snapped (at our 1st confrontation which I will get into later). It felt like we were in a cauldron waiting to boil over and there was no way to fix it because it seemed our problems originate from our stress.
But then I had a break and was able to land a job with my secondary profession as a pc tech and it appeared that I would be able to take care of my fiancé and my unborn daughter. I tried to do everything I could do for my fiancé, make her happy, and show her that I loved her (another error, see I have always been shy and bashful so I have a hard time admitting my feelings which she seemed to take as a slight against her even though she knew my nature). Things slowly seemed to be going back to how it was before and she seemed to be perking up. Then all too soon our daughter was born that both of us were so overjoyed that everything seemed to be right with the world. We couldn't conduct her baby shower till after her birth for certain reasons (grandma's preference). Then our lease was coming to an end (after baby shower) and my fiancé was hell bent on moving back to her home town (ATL), and wanted me to leave my job though she knew I didn't want. But I would do anything for her which she could never understand, so we moved and all too soon found ourselves in dire straits again. Neither one of us was in employed and was living off my last remaining checks. But as soon as we hit the ATL she started hanging out till morning with her cousin (who’s not the brightest person and is a slut). She would leave me with my daughter and not call.
I knew something was wrong but as naive as it may seemed I trusted her when she said that she did nothing wrong. She forgot how pc savvy I was and believed that she could hide things for me. I found nude pics and videos of her that she was sending any dick on craigslist and one asshole she dated before we met. Then I found text messages to the asshole telling how they were going to meet up latter as long as she could "leave the baby with that nigga"(me). This all took me two days to gain surmountable evidence, and in mid December I finally confronted her. I told her I was leaving. And she told me all they did was kiss *smh* I know. But it wasn't her that I tried to believe for but my daughter, because at the time it would be difficult to see her. So I agreed, never truly trusting her because I knew she wasn't telling the whole truth. Whenever I would ask her if she did anything more she would look me in the eye and say "No". But she just didn't seem right. So I hacked her PC, I will not say how because she's still being sly. So a few days ago, low and behold she receives a message from the asshole she said she had no further contact in which alluded to sex and oral. I was appalled so one again I confronted her and finally uncovered her lies. 1st she told me that they only had sex one time and that it was one of the nights she didn't come home with her cousin (between Nov and mid Dec). But she wasn't sure if I had got the info from her ex and new that he would tell me with no qualms if I had really talked to him). She told me that the 1st time was the day after our daughters baby shower (around the end of Aug early Sept) right after we had sex and a left to go back to the town we were staying in to go back to work. Then I had her tell me in horrible detail about the other encounter because I knew that with more detail it would be harder for her to lie and she would make more mistakes.
She told about when, where, and how they had sex, that she sucked dude off, and I forced her to admit that they were going bareback, knowing dude was scruple less and slept around, in essence putting my heath in danger because the broad would still come home and want to fuck. Once again her reason was because she snapped, she didn't like it and don't know why she did it, it wasn't to hurt or get back at me for something, and such and such. I ask if it you didn't like it so much and knew it was wrong and that you were hurting me and your family why continue doing it after the first so called mistake. She answers that she doesn't know and was confused. She then says that after our daughter was born no one seemed to care about her and more that it was the baby everyone cared about. She said that when she looked at the baby she loved her but wanted her to go back inside her so everyone would pay attention to her. She said this caused her to want to run away from us.

Do I believe this?
You may think me stupid but honestly I don't know.

Do I love her?
Yes.

Do I not hate her?
Yes. I hate her and with a passion.

I told her it was over, but we still reside at the same residence so I have to still see her and want to throttle her and cry at the same time.

Why haven't I left?
Is that so hard to guess? My daughter.

It's difficult for me to just leave for many reasons. One being that this impromptu move back to ATL has been kinder her job wise than it has to me, and that's not saying much. We've applied to hundreds of jobs; fast-food, retail, office, warehouse, shipping and receiving, technical, artistic. I've also applied to be an art teacher because I have the qualifications and passed all the required tests. But in order to teach here you have to have certification, and in order for me to obtain it I had to be with a school, but the only way to do that is to be certified. I received a job offer to teach in my home town but was forced to turn it down because she did not want me to go and did not want to go with me, and her parents would not let me take my daughter because they were too attached. So my fiancé took up temp jobs till one of us could catch a break (me having been declined for a lot of temp, and permanent jobs for being over qualified or not enough experience). So here I am in utter agony not being able to leave because if I leave it would almost impossible to see my daughter and no one will let me take her, also I could not stand to be away from her because I love her so much and she is the greatest thing to happen to me. So I told my ex I will reside at this residence to care for our daughter because no one else can, until one of us find s a steady gig and is able to put her in daycare. I have told her that it is over and not sure if it will ever be right between us, because right now I am utterly confused.

Do I want to be with her?
Don't think ill of me please, but I hate her and want to be away from her but also still am confused about wanting to be with her.

Will I stay?
Once again don't think ill of me but honestly I don't know.

I've been trying to gain insight on what should I do from members of my family and hers, and all have been mixed. The only thing that’s confusing me is my daughter (maybe a few feelings for my ex too), I don't want to destroy my daughters possibility for a family though it may be too late. I'm just too confused at the moment to make a conscious decision. So here I am an open book for you all to prod and criticize, but I'll take it because there is never anything wrong with objective criticism (being an art major I would know). I know I'm not the most angelic person, but I have never once put my family in jeopardy.

I apologize if I have wasted any of your time, and would not take any offense in being Colin Powelled.
 
Thats crazy but one thing I have learned from a past relationship is that you can't wife/girlfriend a woman who has a dysfunctional family, who's mother really wasn't about shit and someone who doesn't know or has seen what a succesful relationship looks like. I know fellas its a lot of nice looking females who you would wife in a minute and they might be able to hide their dysfunctional mindset to get you in a relationship but trust if her family aint right, she will never be fully up to the task to be in a relationship. And she will never know why she does the things she do because she doesn't see her family as "that fucked up" compared to the people around her. If you have a shorty that has some family issues the only way I suggest going about being with her if you really like her is to force her and her family to seek psychatric help. And this goes vice versa for men as well. Men Law #10093847: Only wife chicks who have had a good upbringing and who has stable relationship with both parents.

Def. good advice but not 100% true for every situation.

Still, odds are much better if you follow this rule.
 
Not going to quote all that shit.

I got two questions.

1) Is this about the female response (Jucurious) in this thread? If yes,my opinion is that you need to cut the relationship, and focus on raising the child. If no, same answer.

2) What kind of parent is discussing their decision with the grandparents?

I received a job offer to teach in my home town but was forced to turn it down because she did not want me to go and did not want to go with me, and her parents would not let me take my daughter because they were too attached.

Are you serious? That decision is between you and mom. Fuck her parents, and you need to tell them that. They can visit just like you would have had to. You need a job, dude. That house-husband shit can only last for so long before you start resenting everyone who put you in that situation. Men are not nurturers by genetics; WE ARE PROVIDERS.

So man the fuck up, whatever your decision is.
 
Not going to quote all that shit.

I got two questions.

1) Is this about the female response (Jucurious) in this thread? If yes,my opinion is that you need to cut the relationship, and focus on raising the child. If no, same answer.

2) What kind of parent is discussing their decision with the grandparents?



Are you serious? That decision is between you and mom. Fuck her parents, and you need to tell them that. They can visit just like you would have had to. You need a job, dude. That house-husband shit can only last for so long before you start resenting everyone who put you in that situation. Men are not nurturers by genetics; WE ARE PROVIDERS.

So man the fuck up, whatever your decision is.
i think he was talkin about that stupid bitch we tore apart, lemonpecan or some shit.

now i see how lame dude is, so i understand what happened here.
 
stages and stageswifey, cut it out already....dude you pretty much paid $20 for two aliases...come on...not this shit again.
 
Yeah I did a few times but I really didn't give a shit because mindest has always been that whatever you have now will not always be here; so when you lose it you don't really trip. :D:D
 
Real Talk, How many of you niggas actually stayed wit a chick who was cheatin on u. "I cheated, she cheated, so we even." Lets see how many niggas keep it funky.

I'll admit it I cheated on her and of course I didnt tell her neither did ol girl they ran track together...but a couple months later she jacked this nigga I know off and called me cryin sayin she needed to talk, so I went over there and she told me cryin like a muhfucka and I was cool about and I told her its all good I cheated on u too back in may and then we stayed together for another 2 years
 
I stopped playing bitches close like that around 25-30 yo.

That is her pussy.....not yours.

How you gonna be selfish with her pussy?:confused:

Digg up in her good and you will always have access.

Niggas be hoggin the pussy even after they finished.:smh:
 
i think he was talkin about that stupid bitch we tore apart, lemonpecan or some shit.

now i see how lame dude is, so i understand what happened here.

I knew it was one of them. (sorry Ju) Too hard to keep them fucking names straight.

But damn, dude sounded like a straight bitch. I guess that's the "sensitive" type women were talking about. :smh:
 
Ok I gotta story too....damn after readin' some of this shit, now I know why I'm the way I am with women.

Married this chick, high school sweetheart, good girl, I thought....she was real passive, kinda quiet, but turns out she was just sneaky with hers. In a million years I never would have figured out she was a $2 ho, I don't know if it was denial or if I was just in love with the chick or wanted to believe her.

Anyways, after we get married, I go on tour in the Army, They cut me orders to IRAQ, we're writining each other everyday once the mail starts flowin' and like somebody else said, "Everything started to slow down"..."My Pimp senses go off-flashin' a ho alert alarm". Since I'm 10,000 miles away, I can't prove a damn thing, so I'm stuck with speculating. Letters trickle in from here, used to be 3-4 a week, now it's 1 every 3-4 weeks. I beg her for some pictures of my daugter for 3 months, she finally sends them, but no letter, no how you doin' nothin'...this is my wife now.

So we got 1 call a week using the MARS system and I decide to call my sister, she's always good for spreading news.

Me: He sis, how are things back home
sis: fine, how you hoildin' up
Me: I'm cool can't wait to come home though
sis: I hate to be the one to tell you this but XXXXXX is pregnant by XXXXX
Me: Huh
sis: Yea, your wife is pregnant by another man.

Damn, talk about devastated, and I was 10,000 miles away, wasn' shit I could do about it. about a month later I got mail from her, Divorce papers in the mail....WOW!!!! one of the lowest points in my life only because I had put so much trust in her. Learned to never trust a bitch ever again and with good reason, I've never dated or married one who hasn't cheated...EVER...Well One to my knowledge

I gotta another one that's just as bad, but I don't feel like typin' it cause it was just Trifling.

Damn, you got another story worst than that?...
 
I knew something was wrong but as naive as it may seemed I trusted her when she said that she did nothing wrong. She forgot how pc savvy I was and believed that she could hide things for me. I found nude pics and videos of her that she was sending any dick on craigslist and one asshole she dated before we met. Then I found text messages to the asshole telling how they were going to meet up latter as long as she could "leave the baby with that nigga"(me). This all took me two days to gain surmountable evidence, and in mid December I finally confronted her. I told her I was leaving. And she told me all they did was kiss *smh* I know. But it wasn't her that I tried to believe for but my daughter, because at the time it would be difficult to see her. So I agreed, never truly trusting her because I knew she wasn't telling the whole truth. Whenever I would ask her if she did anything more she would look me in the eye and say "No". But she just didn't seem right. So I hacked her PC, I will not say how because she's still being sly. So a few days ago, low and behold she receives a message from the asshole she said she had no further contact in which alluded to sex and oral. I was appalled so one again I confronted her and finally uncovered her lies. 1st she told me that they only had sex one time and that it was one of the nights she didn't come home with her cousin (between Nov and mid Dec). But she wasn't sure if I had got the info from her ex and new that he would tell me with no qualms if I had really talked to him). She told me that the 1st time was the day after our daughters baby shower (around the end of Aug early Sept) right after we had sex and a left to go back to the town we were staying in to go back to work. Then I had her tell me in horrible detail about the other encounter because I knew that with more detail it would be harder for her to lie and she would make more mistakes.
She told about when, where, and how they had sex, that she sucked dude off, and I forced her to admit that they were going bareback, knowing dude was scruple less and slept around, in essence putting my heath in danger because the broad would still come home and want to fuck. Once again her reason was because she snapped, she didn't like it and don't know why she did it, it wasn't to hurt or get back at me for something, and such and such. I ask if it you didn't like it so much and knew it was wrong and that you were hurting me and your family why continue doing it after the first so called mistake. She answers that she doesn't know and was confused. She then says that after our daughter was born no one seemed to care about her and more that it was the baby everyone cared about. She said that when she looked at the baby she loved her but wanted her to go back inside her so everyone would pay attention to her. She said this caused her to want to run away from us.

Damn, now that is some fucked up depressing shit.

I'm sorry but I'd have to...

[FLASH]http://www.youtube.com/v/GWgMedTyJcM&hl=en&fs=1[/FLASH]
 
On a different note, if a chick ever makes the statement that she has more male friends than female friends, that's a red flag to me. The only women that have told me that, were women that I knew would cheat or are cheating now.


Exactly!
 
I wanted to be friends with this ex, (that was how it started), he was unlike my other friends and did not respect the boundaries of my relationship.


What's going to heppen when more of your numerous male friends decide not to "respect the boundaries of my relationship"? Sooner or later you will be fucking a few of them too.
 
I found nude pics and videos of her that she was sending any dick on craigslist and one asshole she dated before we met. Then I found text messages to the asshole telling how they were going to meet up latter as long as she could "leave the baby with that nigga"(me). This all took me two days to gain surmountable evidence, and in mid December I finally confronted her. I told her I was leaving. And she told me all they did was kiss *smh* I know. But it wasn't her that I tried to believe for but my daughter, because at the time it would be difficult to see her. So I agreed, never truly trusting her because I knew she wasn't telling the whole truth. Whenever I would ask her if she did anything more she would look me in the eye and say "No". But she just didn't seem right. So I hacked her PC, I will not say how because she's still being sly. So a few days ago, low and behold she receives a message from the asshole she said she had no further contact in which alluded to sex and oral. I was appalled so one again I confronted her and finally uncovered her lies. 1st she told me that they only had sex one time and that it was one of the nights she didn't come home with her cousin (between Nov and mid Dec). But she wasn't sure if I had got the info from her ex and new that he would tell me with no qualms if I had really talked to him). She told me that the 1st time was the day after our daughters baby shower (around the end of Aug early Sept) right after we had sex and a left to go back to the town we were staying in to go back to work. Then I had her tell me in horrible detail about the other encounter because I knew that with more detail it would be harder for her to lie and she would make more mistakes.
She told about when, where, and how they had sex, that she sucked dude off, and I forced her to admit that they were going bareback, knowing dude was scruple less and slept around, in essence putting my heath in danger because the broad would still come home and want to fuck. Once again her reason was because she snapped, she didn't like it and don't know why she did it, it wasn't to hurt or get back at me for something, and such and such. I ask if it you didn't like it so much and knew it was wrong and that you were hurting me and your family why continue doing it after the first so called mistake. She answers that she doesn't know and was confused. She then says that after our daughter was born no one seemed to care about her and more that it was the baby everyone cared about. She said that when she looked at the baby she loved her but wanted her to go back inside her so everyone would pay attention to her. She said this caused her to want to run away from us.


:itsawrap: Its over bra, kick her hoe ass to the curb.
 
youkaidragon said:
I knew something was wrong but as naive as it may seemed I trusted her when she said that she did nothing wrong. She forgot how pc savvy I was and believed that she could hide things for me. I found nude pics and videos of her that she was sending any dick on craigslist and one asshole she dated before we met. Then I found text messages to the asshole telling how they were going to meet up latter as long as she could "leave the baby with that nigga"(me). This all took me two days to gain surmountable evidence, and in mid December I finally confronted her. I told her I was leaving. And she told me all they did was kiss *smh* I know. But it wasn't her that I tried to believe for but my daughter, because at the time it would be difficult to see her. So I agreed, never truly trusting her because I knew she wasn't telling the whole truth. Whenever I would ask her if she did anything more she would look me in the eye and say "No". But she just didn't seem right. So I hacked her PC, I will not say how because she's still being sly. So a few days ago, low and behold she receives a message from the asshole she said she had no further contact in which alluded to sex and oral. I was appalled so one again I confronted her and finally uncovered her lies. 1st she told me that they only had sex one time and that it was one of the nights she didn't come home with her cousin (between Nov and mid Dec). But she wasn't sure if I had got the info from her ex and new that he would tell me with no qualms if I had really talked to him). She told me that the 1st time was the day after our daughters baby shower (around the end of Aug early Sept) right after we had sex and a left to go back to the town we were staying in to go back to work. Then I had her tell me in horrible detail about the other encounter because I knew that with more detail it would be harder for her to lie and she would make more mistakes.
She told about when, where, and how they had sex, that she sucked dude off, and I forced her to admit that they were going bareback, knowing dude was scruple less and slept around, in essence putting my heath in danger because the broad would still come home and want to fuck. Once again her reason was because she snapped, she didn't like it and don't know why she did it, it wasn't to hurt or get back at me for something, and such and such. I ask if it you didn't like it so much and knew it was wrong and that you were hurting me and your family why continue doing it after the first so called mistake. She answers that she doesn't know and was confused. She then says that after our daughter was born no one seemed to care about her and more that it was the baby everyone cared about. She said that when she looked at the baby she loved her but wanted her to go back inside her so everyone would pay attention to her. She said this caused her to want to run away from us.
dude, get away from this bitch asap!,,, women like this should only be "jump offs",,, never your girl,,, she's going to continue to do this shit, no matter how many times she promises you she'll change,,, leave before you become an alcoholic, drug addict or end up killing that bitch,,, & make sure that's your kid before you start paying child support,,, that guy is not the only dude she's been fucking,,, trust me
 
gameboy;4518900& make sure that's your kid before you start paying child support said:
[/SIZE][/COLOR]

Exactly. She got caught with one dude so she is admitting to that only. God knows how many one night stands she also had and how long she was doing it before she got caught. The dude is taking her word for what happened when she is a proven lier.

They have home paternity tests now. Use it! Stop being a retard!
 
dude, get away from this bitch asap!,,, women like this should only be "jump offs",,, never your girl,,, she's going to continue to do this shit, no matter how many times she promises you she'll change,,, leave before you become an alcoholic, drug addict or end up killing that bitch,,, & make sure that's your kid before you start paying child support,,, that guy is not the only dude she's been fucking,,, trust me

C/S she got a line-up and she plans on doin' the whole team...you can bet that's why she sendin' them nude pics out... on the real though West Coast Video and Evil Angels hiring...you should get that ho an application quick.:smh:
 
long story, but gotta get it off my chest

I had been tellin' my wife at the time that I knew somethin' was goin on... but she insisted on being caught instead of being honest. She claimed that she was out bowling with co-workers twice a week, but it was too obvious cuz whenever we'd go bowling with friends her back would always hurt the next day. Whenever she'd go 'bowling' with co-workers she'd come home like she'd been at the damn spa, all refreshed. Anyway, I sat at home ere’ night for weeks knowing that she was doin’ something but I just couldn’t prove it. I looked at her and honestly asked her if there was something wrong and she lied. I promised her that I would file for divorce if I ever discovered infidelity. Then she had the nerve to try and say that I should pray about my insecurities. I then decided that enough was enough.

I installed a caller ID box in the basement on a phone jack... then each night when I got home I would compare the numbers called on the cordless phones in the bedroom and living room to the box in the basement that she didn't know about... of course I was quickly able to figure out which number she was deleting... instead of confronting her, I just called my connects at Cellular One and ran a trace on the number... had dudes name, address, DOB, SS# and ere'thing... I drove past his crib one night that she was supposedly 'working late' and her car was there in his driveway. The car I had bought for her. I was really boiling at that point. Little did they know that I was sitting there with my loaded 9mm in lap. I had already figured out what I was gonna do. I was gonna kill her. I didn't give a damn who caught it... but SHE was the main one who was gonna get it... if dude had been there to walk her outside or something, I woulda got him too, but he wasn't my target...

I called both my moms and pops separately and told them what I was about to do. I don't know why I called my parents, I guess it was the pain eating me up inside and out of respect for them, I wanted to let them know that I was at rock bottom and that I appreciated all their love and support since birth. Kind of like a "I know you've done all you can for me and this is not your fault" type of closing. Of course they pleaded with me to calm down, drive from the scene and not resort to the violent act I had promised. I then powered off my cell phone off and sat with my finger on the trigger. I remember the day like it was yesterday... July 26, 1999. I waited and waited and waited. I must've sat there for close to 3 hours but her and dude never emerged. There's no way they could've known I was there cuz I had borrowed my buddy's SUV and was sitting on a side street about 4 houses down from dude's house.

After contemplating my options and knowing full well that after gunning them both down, I'd either go to prison or be killed in a shootout with police while on the run, I decided against it and drove home. I think what hit me in the heart was knowing that our 2 kids would've be left without their parents. I kept seeing my 5 yr old daughter's face and hearing her say "Why did you do that to mommy?" It wouldn't have been fair for me to leave them alone in this world with in-laws or someone other than one of us caring for them. I think that was God looking down on me. Honestly, I had no conscience about shooting either one of them, had I seen them. Wouldn't ya know who came home 20 minutes after I got home. It was hard to look at her that night, but I sucked it up and showed no emotions at all in front of her and played it cool.

Imagine bustin' ya azz to provide for your family and then find out that your wife is runnin' around with another dude. Not just a one time deal, but an ongoing affair. We had been together for 7 years and her tryst with dude was at least a few months. All cuz I was in last semester at Howard U. tryna make the situation betta for my family (her + 2 kids). Her older son was not my biological, but I treated him as blood and as my own child. No, I wasn't bringing in the $$$ I had the previous 5 years working FT, but I was back at Howard tryna finish up my BA. Sad part is that she was the one who inspired me to go back to Howard and finish up my degree. Yeah, I was not home as I would've liked to have been... but I was in school FT, working PT and doing an internship. Wasn't like I was out partying. I actually talked to the guy she was having the relations with. I called him the very next day on his cell and said these exact words "So... you're f**king my wife?". He then responded... "Oh,, this must be (my govt name)". Talk about me being shook, the cat knew of me and my name. Dude and I talked for like 20 minutes. He said that she told him that she was divorced. Told him that she was still in the house for the sake of the kids and that we slept in separate bedrooms. It was a tense convo, but one that enlightened us both. He confirmed a lot of things that I had suspicions about, like 'business trips', 'late hours', new tires on her car and extra money she had received. That cat was straight up being played by her but dude straight up wanted to marry her. I couldn't help but laugh at that notion.

The single most important thing that I learned from my divorce (okay okay, I learned this in my Anger Management class when I was going through the divorce) was that you can only control yourself. You do not control what any other person does. If your wife/partner wants to walk outta the door what are you gonna do… physically stop them??? That works on occasions (temporarily), but in the long run someone will end up in jail and 90% of the time it’s the man. For the most part, you just have to use good ole common sense in making decisions on the type of person that you decide to be involved with. People sometimes snicker when I admit to going to Anger Management. But those classes every Monday for 6 mos, probably saved my life. Everyday, I re-considered my thoughts of killing her. Seriously. I needed a place to relax and let my thoughts go. In that class I was in the fellowship of other brothas who were going through similar circumstances and we kinda leaned on each other and became friends.

I never asked my ex-wife why. It didn't matter to me. She betrayed me. After giving her numerous chances to come clean, she refused. I honestly was prepared to try and work things out, even if she had admitted cheating. it woulda hurt, but I would've tried. Til this day, she never admitted to what she did. Wasn't an issue for me about why anyway. I believe in the sacredness of vows, but when one person refuses to admit their wrong, you can't move forward no matter how much you love them. In that case, you must go on with your life. I was criticized by the 'God fearing' members (grandparents, uncles aunts, etc) of my family who didn't believe in divorce, but I shook them off with one question. "Would you rather I sit in a corner, cry my eyes out and contemplate murder or suicide or do what's right for me, file divorce, move on with life and eventually find someone who'll not only love and respect me, but someone who deserves my love and respect?" Room kinda went silent after that.

Fortunately, I'm here to talk about it, which let's you that I wised up and drove from away from the house that night cuz I realized that my life wasn't worth losing cuz ONE woman who betrayed me... but being on the other end of a cheating spouse hurts like hell and can drive folks to kill... trust me... I'm not a hood type cat who grew up on corners or nothin'... but I was a hurt husband who owned a gun. I advise my fellow brothas not to deal with married women. Don't look at a man's stature and assume he won't do something should he find out. A heart hurt will resort to anything when broken. The puzzy aint worth losing your life. That's from both perspectives... from the boyfriend/husband aspect and the playas who love to deal with married sistahs.

:angry::yes:
 
Brothaz need to realize that women almost never admit they cheated, just because you aksed them to tell you the truth,,, only 2 situations that a woman will confess is:

a) she's mad at you and wants to purposely hurt you
b) you back her down in a corner with evidence (like a pimpslap said in his reply about bringing a stack of paperwork home from the cell phone company,,, his wife lied also, until she thought he had evidence)

other than that,,, bitches will take that info to the grave with them


:yes::yes::yes:
 
that bitch is the epitome of a filthy, fucked up ho! :smh: and to think she had the fuckin nerve to be in this thread makin up excuses:hmm: yo i really understand why niggaz lose it and blow these scandalous bitches away.(it aint right but i understand). yo that trick is fuckin dirty. get on your feet and try to get custody of your daughter. real talk.... she aint no fuckin role model for your daughter. as a matter of fact get a paternity test asap because that bitch is pure slime. yo i'm really fuckin tight .......:angry:
 
Please make no judgment until you have finished reading, but I hope she wasn't serious about this abuse thing, because if she were than I see this as a bold face lie. Not only was she the love of my life but she was also my best friend. When I met her she was a sexually repressed tomboy, who at 15 (going on 16) parents blocked any content they thought unsuitable for her (she never saw players club, boyz n the hood, menace 2 society, soul food, and any other movie with mature content) and still haven't gave her the talk. So she would date questionable guys and act out sexually (I know from fact that she was a virgin but what else she may have done I have no idea), she would go around the school asking to see other guy's junk.
I left for a year to go to school in my home town and when I returned in the 12th grade resumed our relationship. During this time we took it to a sexual nature. Like she said before we have been together going on eight years, and during this time we have had our fair share of arguments. We would argue and curse at each other but never tried to harm each other, you can ask anyone who knows us. If we ever hit each other it was normally trading licks and usually in fun or 4play (people can vouch for that too) and if anyone else has ever traded licks before (which I’m sure a lot of you remember doing in school with friends) one of us could some time take it too far, never with any intent to hurt the other but still end up causing the other to get frustrated. Want examples? One time she was aiming to play slap me and caught me in the eye. This smarted so bad that I told her to leave me alone till I calmed down. Another time I pulled she shirt over her head hockey style and held her there while she took blind swings at me, this pissed her off so much that she refused to talk to me for the remainder of the day. I think one thing I that was truly an error on my part was teasing her, which I haven't done now unless provoked in about a year and a half to two years.
As I said I thought of her as one of my best friends. I'm an artist and a pc, she is a writer. Both of us like the same shows (even if I tell her I don't like them *cough* project runway *cough), we both like anime and manga, comic books, art, and going out to eat to try new foods. So as I stated before because of an error on my part I treated her like my friend who normally consist of a few pals from high school, my older brother, little sister, and cousins. We normally trade insults and banter to see who could top each other. She came into this willingly after I warned her that they and I meant no real harm just trying to one up her. But she secretly couldn't take it because she had never done it before, not having any close relatives near her age, and not a lot of friends because of school life stigmata (she was called nerd and white girl and other names because she was smart, I likewise was call some names before I joined the wrestling team and beefed up like nerd and white boy because I was smart and like rock), but she never told anyone and started to bottle up. So at home we would trade insults which was proficiently lacking in, so close to a year to two years (after our daughter was conceived but not yet born) ago she told me that I hurt her feelings which I took to heart and told her I would desist and have tried my best ever since.

But here is where she said the ball dropped. Both of were recently unemployed, her because she had just graduated from college and had only student work, I because of an error on my part which I admit was proportionally stupid but will not get in to. So both of us were stressed trying to find jobs and finding out that our degrees did jack shit for us. It got to the point where we would argue over stupid shit, and then she would just stop talking a bottle up shit and not tell me what’s wrong. This only added to the frustration and after one moronic spat between us she pissed me off and I refused to say anything to her (another error on my part). This is where she told me she snapped (at our 1st confrontation which I will get into later). It felt like we were in a cauldron waiting to boil over and there was no way to fix it because it seemed our problems originate from our stress.
But then I had a break and was able to land a job with my secondary profession as a pc tech and it appeared that I would be able to take care of my fiancé and my unborn daughter. I tried to do everything I could do for my fiancé, make her happy, and show her that I loved her (another error, see I have always been shy and bashful so I have a hard time admitting my feelings which she seemed to take as a slight against her even though she knew my nature). Things slowly seemed to be going back to how it was before and she seemed to be perking up. Then all too soon our daughter was born that both of us were so overjoyed that everything seemed to be right with the world. We couldn't conduct her baby shower till after her birth for certain reasons (grandma's preference). Then our lease was coming to an end (after baby shower) and my fiancé was hell bent on moving back to her home town (ATL), and wanted me to leave my job though she knew I didn't want. But I would do anything for her which she could never understand, so we moved and all too soon found ourselves in dire straits again. Neither one of us was in employed and was living off my last remaining checks. But as soon as we hit the ATL she started hanging out till morning with her cousin (who’s not the brightest person and is a slut). She would leave me with my daughter and not call.
I knew something was wrong but as naive as it may seemed I trusted her when she said that she did nothing wrong. She forgot how pc savvy I was and believed that she could hide things for me. I found nude pics and videos of her that she was sending any dick on craigslist and one asshole she dated before we met. Then I found text messages to the asshole telling how they were going to meet up latter as long as she could "leave the baby with that nigga"(me). This all took me two days to gain surmountable evidence, and in mid December I finally confronted her. I told her I was leaving. And she told me all they did was kiss *smh* I know. But it wasn't her that I tried to believe for but my daughter, because at the time it would be difficult to see her. So I agreed, never truly trusting her because I knew she wasn't telling the whole truth. Whenever I would ask her if she did anything more she would look me in the eye and say "No". But she just didn't seem right. So I hacked her PC, I will not say how because she's still being sly. So a few days ago, low and behold she receives a message from the asshole she said she had no further contact in which alluded to sex and oral. I was appalled so one again I confronted her and finally uncovered her lies. 1st she told me that they only had sex one time and that it was one of the nights she didn't come home with her cousin (between Nov and mid Dec). But she wasn't sure if I had got the info from her ex and new that he would tell me with no qualms if I had really talked to him). She told me that the 1st time was the day after our daughters baby shower (around the end of Aug early Sept) right after we had sex and a left to go back to the town we were staying in to go back to work. Then I had her tell me in horrible detail about the other encounter because I knew that with more detail it would be harder for her to lie and she would make more mistakes.
She told about when, where, and how they had sex, that she sucked dude off, and I forced her to admit that they were going bareback, knowing dude was scruple less and slept around, in essence putting my heath in danger because the broad would still come home and want to fuck. Once again her reason was because she snapped, she didn't like it and don't know why she did it, it wasn't to hurt or get back at me for something, and such and such. I ask if it you didn't like it so much and knew it was wrong and that you were hurting me and your family why continue doing it after the first so called mistake. She answers that she doesn't know and was confused. She then says that after our daughter was born no one seemed to care about her and more that it was the baby everyone cared about. She said that when she looked at the baby she loved her but wanted her to go back inside her so everyone would pay attention to her. She said this caused her to want to run away from us.

Do I believe this?
You may think me stupid but honestly I don't know.

Do I love her?
Yes.

Do I not hate her?
Yes. I hate her and with a passion.

I told her it was over, but we still reside at the same residence so I have to still see her and want to throttle her and cry at the same time.

Why haven't I left?
Is that so hard to guess? My daughter.

It's difficult for me to just leave for many reasons. One being that this impromptu move back to ATL has been kinder her job wise than it has to me, and that's not saying much. We've applied to hundreds of jobs; fast-food, retail, office, warehouse, shipping and receiving, technical, artistic. I've also applied to be an art teacher because I have the qualifications and passed all the required tests. But in order to teach here you have to have certification, and in order for me to obtain it I had to be with a school, but the only way to do that is to be certified. I received a job offer to teach in my home town but was forced to turn it down because she did not want me to go and did not want to go with me, and her parents would not let me take my daughter because they were too attached. So my fiancé took up temp jobs till one of us could catch a break (me having been declined for a lot of temp, and permanent jobs for being over qualified or not enough experience). So here I am in utter agony not being able to leave because if I leave it would almost impossible to see my daughter and no one will let me take her, also I could not stand to be away from her because I love her so much and she is the greatest thing to happen to me. So I told my ex I will reside at this residence to care for our daughter because no one else can, until one of us find s a steady gig and is able to put her in daycare. I have told her that it is over and not sure if it will ever be right between us, because right now I am utterly confused.

Do I want to be with her?
Don't think ill of me please, but I hate her and want to be away from her but also still am confused about wanting to be with her.

Will I stay?
Once again don't think ill of me but honestly I don't know.

I've been trying to gain insight on what should I do from members of my family and hers, and all have been mixed. The only thing that’s confusing me is my daughter (maybe a few feelings for my ex too), I don't want to destroy my daughters possibility for a family though it may be too late. I'm just too confused at the moment to make a conscious decision. So here I am an open book for you all to prod and criticize, but I'll take it because there is never anything wrong with objective criticism (being an art major I would know). I know I'm not the most angelic person, but I have never once put my family in jeopardy.

I apologize if I have wasted any of your time, and would not take any offense in being Colin Powelled.




Dman man thats sad its shit like this that makes niggas weary of females all i can say is pray on it man and talk to her for your daughters sake because it is worse for her to be in a unloving home than it is for her to be in a single parent home
 
Please make no judgment until you have finished reading, but

I knew something was wrong but as naive as it may seemed I trusted her when she said that she did nothing wrong. She forgot how pc savvy I was and believed that she could hide things for me. I found nude pics and videos of her that she was sending any dick on craigslist and one asshole she dated before we met. Then I found text messages to the asshole telling how they were going to meet up latter as long as she could "leave the baby with that nigga"(me). This all took me two days to gain surmountable evidence, and in mid December I finally confronted her. I told her I was leaving. And she told me all they did was kiss *smh* I know. But it wasn't her that I tried to believe for but my daughter, because at the time it would be difficult to see her. So I agreed, never truly trusting her because I knew she wasn't telling the whole truth. Whenever I would ask her if she did anything more she would look me in the eye and say "No". But she just didn't seem right. So I hacked her PC, I will not say how because she's still being sly. So a few days ago, low and behold she receives a message from the asshole she said she had no further contact in which alluded to sex and oral. I was appalled so one again I confronted her and finally uncovered her lies. 1st she told me that they only had sex one time and that it was one of the nights she didn't come home with her cousin (between Nov and mid Dec). But she wasn't sure if I had got the info from her ex and new that he would tell me with no qualms if I had really talked to him). She told me that the 1st time was the day after our daughters baby shower (around the end of Aug early Sept) right after we had sex and a left to go back to the town we were staying in to go back to work. Then I had her tell me in horrible detail about the other encounter because I knew that with more detail it would be harder for her to lie and she would make more mistakes.

1. Why does EVERY WOMAN use the "we only kissed" line.
Every man has heard that line at some point in his ilfe.
And whenever a woman says it, it means she kissed, fucked and sucked the dude's dick...period.

2. You already said she was sending naked pics to MULTIPLE dudes on Craigslist. So you think she only fucked one guy??

Her story is typical, Like I said earlier WOMEN HAVE NO BOUNDARIES.
There are rules to this shit, but women dont give fuck, they just run with their emotions.

This bitch had tha nerve to have a baby and soon after she stayin out all night not coming home, and then texting another dude about how YOU GONNA BABYSIT WHILE SHE OUT SUCKING DICK.

Dude, you love that hoe. And I'm purposely using the word HOE because that's what she is. You gotta wake up, dawg. You fucked up by having a baby by a hoe.
But life aint over, get your shit together, and move the fuck on.

Your hoe is running game on you right now...sob stories, depression, she'll be a better person, she'll never do it again, blah, blah, blah.

Bruh, she crossed lines, not just normal shit but she had no respect for you or your baby. She was out in the streets discussing her family bizness. And now everybody knows her as a hoe.

Now she sad and hurt cuz you done cut her off. If you go back to that hoe, she won and she knows she can treat you like pure shit, and you'll still take her back.

If you marry that chick, you will be the guy everybody says they DONT want to be.....the ninja that tried to turn a hoe into a housewife.
 
Please make no judgment until you have finished reading, but I hope she wasn't serious about this abuse thing, because if she were than I see this as a bold face lie. Not only was she the love of my life but she was also my best friend. When I met her she was a sexually repressed tomboy, who at 15 (going on 16) parents blocked any content they thought unsuitable for her (she never saw players club, boyz n the hood, menace 2 society, soul food, and any other movie with mature content) and still haven't gave her the talk. So she would date questionable guys and act out sexually (I know from fact that she was a virgin but what else she may have done I have no idea), she would go around the school asking to see other guy's junk.
I left for a year to go to school in my home town and when I returned in the 12th grade resumed our relationship. During this time we took it to a sexual nature. Like she said before we have been together going on eight years, and during this time we have had our fair share of arguments. We would argue and curse at each other but never tried to harm each other, you can ask anyone who knows us. If we ever hit each other it was normally trading licks and usually in fun or 4play (people can vouch for that too) and if anyone else has ever traded licks before (which I’m sure a lot of you remember doing in school with friends) one of us could some time take it too far, never with any intent to hurt the other but still end up causing the other to get frustrated. Want examples? One time she was aiming to play slap me and caught me in the eye. This smarted so bad that I told her to leave me alone till I calmed down. Another time I pulled she shirt over her head hockey style and held her there while she took blind swings at me, this pissed her off so much that she refused to talk to me for the remainder of the day. I think one thing I that was truly an error on my part was teasing her, which I haven't done now unless provoked in about a year and a half to two years.
As I said I thought of her as one of my best friends. I'm an artist and a pc, she is a writer. Both of us like the same shows (even if I tell her I don't like them *cough* project runway *cough), we both like anime and manga, comic books, art, and going out to eat to try new foods. So as I stated before because of an error on my part I treated her like my friend who normally consist of a few pals from high school, my older brother, little sister, and cousins. We normally trade insults and banter to see who could top each other. She came into this willingly after I warned her that they and I meant no real harm just trying to one up her. But she secretly couldn't take it because she had never done it before, not having any close relatives near her age, and not a lot of friends because of school life stigmata (she was called nerd and white girl and other names because she was smart, I likewise was call some names before I joined the wrestling team and beefed up like nerd and white boy because I was smart and like rock), but she never told anyone and started to bottle up. So at home we would trade insults which was proficiently lacking in, so close to a year to two years (after our daughter was conceived but not yet born) ago she told me that I hurt her feelings which I took to heart and told her I would desist and have tried my best ever since.

But here is where she said the ball dropped. Both of were recently unemployed, her because she had just graduated from college and had only student work, I because of an error on my part which I admit was proportionally stupid but will not get in to. So both of us were stressed trying to find jobs and finding out that our degrees did jack shit for us. It got to the point where we would argue over stupid shit, and then she would just stop talking a bottle up shit and not tell me what’s wrong. This only added to the frustration and after one moronic spat between us she pissed me off and I refused to say anything to her (another error on my part). This is where she told me she snapped (at our 1st confrontation which I will get into later). It felt like we were in a cauldron waiting to boil over and there was no way to fix it because it seemed our problems originate from our stress.
But then I had a break and was able to land a job with my secondary profession as a pc tech and it appeared that I would be able to take care of my fiancé and my unborn daughter. I tried to do everything I could do for my fiancé, make her happy, and show her that I loved her (another error, see I have always been shy and bashful so I have a hard time admitting my feelings which she seemed to take as a slight against her even though she knew my nature). Things slowly seemed to be going back to how it was before and she seemed to be perking up. Then all too soon our daughter was born that both of us were so overjoyed that everything seemed to be right with the world. We couldn't conduct her baby shower till after her birth for certain reasons (grandma's preference). Then our lease was coming to an end (after baby shower) and my fiancé was hell bent on moving back to her home town (ATL), and wanted me to leave my job though she knew I didn't want. But I would do anything for her which she could never understand, so we moved and all too soon found ourselves in dire straits again. Neither one of us was in employed and was living off my last remaining checks. But as soon as we hit the ATL she started hanging out till morning with her cousin (who’s not the brightest person and is a slut). She would leave me with my daughter and not call.
I knew something was wrong but as naive as it may seemed I trusted her when she said that she did nothing wrong. She forgot how pc savvy I was and believed that she could hide things for me. I found nude pics and videos of her that she was sending any dick on craigslist and one asshole she dated before we met. Then I found text messages to the asshole telling how they were going to meet up latter as long as she could "leave the baby with that nigga"(me). This all took me two days to gain surmountable evidence, and in mid December I finally confronted her. I told her I was leaving. And she told me all they did was kiss *smh* I know. But it wasn't her that I tried to believe for but my daughter, because at the time it would be difficult to see her. So I agreed, never truly trusting her because I knew she wasn't telling the whole truth. Whenever I would ask her if she did anything more she would look me in the eye and say "No". But she just didn't seem right. So I hacked her PC, I will not say how because she's still being sly. So a few days ago, low and behold she receives a message from the asshole she said she had no further contact in which alluded to sex and oral. I was appalled so one again I confronted her and finally uncovered her lies. 1st she told me that they only had sex one time and that it was one of the nights she didn't come home with her cousin (between Nov and mid Dec). But she wasn't sure if I had got the info from her ex and new that he would tell me with no qualms if I had really talked to him). She told me that the 1st time was the day after our daughters baby shower (around the end of Aug early Sept) right after we had sex and a left to go back to the town we were staying in to go back to work. Then I had her tell me in horrible detail about the other encounter because I knew that with more detail it would be harder for her to lie and she would make more mistakes.
She told about when, where, and how they had sex, that she sucked dude off, and I forced her to admit that they were going bareback, knowing dude was scruple less and slept around, in essence putting my heath in danger because the broad would still come home and want to fuck. Once again her reason was because she snapped, she didn't like it and don't know why she did it, it wasn't to hurt or get back at me for something, and such and such. I ask if it you didn't like it so much and knew it was wrong and that you were hurting me and your family why continue doing it after the first so called mistake. She answers that she doesn't know and was confused. She then says that after our daughter was born no one seemed to care about her and more that it was the baby everyone cared about. She said that when she looked at the baby she loved her but wanted her to go back inside her so everyone would pay attention to her. She said this caused her to want to run away from us.

Do I believe this?
You may think me stupid but honestly I don't know.

Do I love her?
Yes.

Do I not hate her?
Yes. I hate her and with a passion.

I told her it was over, but we still reside at the same residence so I have to still see her and want to throttle her and cry at the same time.

Why haven't I left?
Is that so hard to guess? My daughter.

It's difficult for me to just leave for many reasons. One being that this impromptu move back to ATL has been kinder her job wise than it has to me, and that's not saying much. We've applied to hundreds of jobs; fast-food, retail, office, warehouse, shipping and receiving, technical, artistic. I've also applied to be an art teacher because I have the qualifications and passed all the required tests. But in order to teach here you have to have certification, and in order for me to obtain it I had to be with a school, but the only way to do that is to be certified. I received a job offer to teach in my home town but was forced to turn it down because she did not want me to go and did not want to go with me, and her parents would not let me take my daughter because they were too attached. So my fiancé took up temp jobs till one of us could catch a break (me having been declined for a lot of temp, and permanent jobs for being over qualified or not enough experience). So here I am in utter agony not being able to leave because if I leave it would almost impossible to see my daughter and no one will let me take her, also I could not stand to be away from her because I love her so much and she is the greatest thing to happen to me. So I told my ex I will reside at this residence to care for our daughter because no one else can, until one of us find s a steady gig and is able to put her in daycare. I have told her that it is over and not sure if it will ever be right between us, because right now I am utterly confused.

Do I want to be with her?
Don't think ill of me please, but I hate her and want to be away from her but also still am confused about wanting to be with her.

Will I stay?
Once again don't think ill of me but honestly I don't know.

I've been trying to gain insight on what should I do from members of my family and hers, and all have been mixed. The only thing that’s confusing me is my daughter (maybe a few feelings for my ex too), I don't want to destroy my daughters possibility for a family though it may be too late. I'm just too confused at the moment to make a conscious decision. So here I am an open book for you all to prod and criticize, but I'll take it because there is never anything wrong with objective criticism (being an art major I would know). I know I'm not the most angelic person, but I have never once put my family in jeopardy.

I apologize if I have wasted any of your time, and would not take any offense in being Colin Powelled.

man, this is a totally different story.

if you are the man melonpecan is talking about, and i could be wrong, then she got some explaining to.

nude pics? leaving the baby with you? hanging out all night?

sounds like she was sleeping with dude for a while. probably other guys as well. she made it sound like she was living such an innocent life beforehand, and it happened one time because of depression.

something ain't adding up. someone is definitely lying. and i think we know who. i want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but she pretty much hung herself before you even posted anything.
 
I stopped playing bitches close like that around 25-30 yo.

That is her pussy.....not yours.

How you gonna be selfish with her pussy?:confused:

Digg up in her good and you will always have access.

Niggas be hoggin the pussy even after they finished.:smh:
i'm digging that advice,,, that's the way every single man should roll,,, but if i'm not mistaken, you are married,,, so i know this doesn't apply to your wifey, right?
 
I apologize if I have wasted any of your time, and would not take any offense in being Colin Powelled.


You know what you NEED to do but you don't have the strength to do it.

Not having your shit together will also affect the baby.

Are you babysitting the baby or is the baby babysitting you?

First thing you need to focus on is your financial independence because this economy is about to get even more fucked up.

How do you intend to provide for that child? It's a competition out here, everyone is trying to give their kids that edge. You can't do that from home......

Everything else will move accordingly.
 
Your hoe is running game on you right now...sob stories, depression, she'll be a better person, she'll never do it again, blah, blah, blah.

C/S. Thats the only reason she posted cuz she knew he would read it, dont fall for her tricks, and WTF was she doin sendin pics to dudes on craigslist? I'd be goin to the doctor if i were you.
 
All these stories are depressing and a good reason why I don't trust women. It's not even the act of cheating that gets me, it's the excuses and justification that women seem to have when it comes to infidelity. It's never their fault.

My problem is I've been around females all my life, it's like I know too much about em to ever take em seriously...

bachelor FTW!
 
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