YOU Ever BUSTED One of Your Chicks CREEPING,,,

[itwazuntme]

I didn't write what I did for this board, nor did I do it for sympathy. I wrote it for one person and one person only. While I agree with some of you on some things some of you are unbelievable and I cannot believe that with your mentality you made it as far as you have in life, if you made it far at all.

All that matters to me is whether or not he understands the feelings and the thoughts in what I wrote. HE is the only thing, the only person that I care about right now, (other than my child). Now if he reads this and takes ya'll advise and not take me back I won't be mad at him. If he doesn't care about a bunch of bitch made replys and take me back or tries to he will see the person he met, the person who enjoyed his company, the person who shared like interests, the one who just wanted to be with him always. Now I'm not saying I care about some of the bitch made replys, because I don't. I can admit what I am, but I still have a right to defend myself from baseless accusations that I am some sort of trickery out to get the black man cause I want a sex high. But then a gain I don't have to prove that to no one on this damn board but one muthafuckin' person. Take it how you will. Everyone is different and you can't compare me to the next chick because I ain't her.

The way to appropriately handle that in the future is to send a PM. Anything you put on the board is typically considered fair game...just an FYI. The reply's weren't bitch made, they were opinions, many of them were based on facts...facts that you willingly divulged. if you can't handle unbiased opinions and constructive criticism, then use the PM to get your man back.

 

[destrehan]

I didn't write what I did for this board, nor did I do it for sympathy. I wrote it for one person and one person only. While I agree with some of you on some things some of you are unbelievable and I cannot believe that with your mentality you made it as far as you have in life, if you made it far at all.

All that matters to me is whether or not he understands the feelings and the thoughts in what I wrote. HE is the only thing, the only person that I care about right now, (other than my child). Now if he reads this and takes ya'll advise and not take me back I won't be mad at him. If he doesn't care about a bunch of bitch made replys and take me back or tries to he will see the person he met, the person who enjoyed his company, the person who shared like interests, the one who just wanted to be with him always. Now I'm not saying I care about some of the bitch made replys, because I don't. I can admit what I am, but I still have a right to defend myself from baseless accusations that I am some sort of trickery out to get the black man cause I want a sex high. But then a gain I don't have to prove that to no one on this damn board but one muthafuckin' person. Take it how you will. Everyone is different and you can't compare me to the next chick because I ain't her.

it's funny how you hoodrats always think you're the one who's "different" just because your weave aint the same color as the next chick.

 

[itwazuntme]

Go cry in a corner cause your girl did you wrong. She probably had a good reason to do so though

You sound like a reformed woman with this statement here...

 

[Baldhead_Digital]

I believe being in the confused state I was in I fell for HIS trickery. (Women aren't the only ones who do trickery.)

Please explain???

 

[itwazuntme]

Yes I did, and yes I am. I don't deny that.






I don't care what font or color I type in I'd tell the same story. And all of my posts are like that since I've been on here except for one. And would the same shit happen again? No. Why? Read what I already wrote. Is he a trigger? Not now. Stop thinking you know how to read people you don't know. As long as my main post was it was brief. There is history to what led to my cheating on his part that I don't want to go into because me cheating was me cheating- not him. This ain't no fucking trickery or bullshit.


Go cry in a corner cause your girl did you wrong. She probably had a good reason to do so though.





See above. I understand. As long as the person my main post was written for understands my frustrations and my ability to try to cope with the situation at hand that is all I care about. Like I said before I don't deny I cheated; I admit I was wrong; I know that makes me a bad person; I'm not trying to run away from that. But I'm not like most people, and I have a reason for everything I do. Perhaps your girl found a way out and tried to use it, (giving depression as an excuse if that is what she did), but I'm not trying to do that. My bout with it is long and hurtful and now I am just trying to understand why I felt the way I did then, but my mind is clear now.





I don't need to see his shit because he is a good man. This I knew, but at the time I could not see this. The dude I was with was not a fallback simp, he was an ex from ten years ago. I know I am responsible for my own actions, (having rejected him before), but I believe being in the confused state I was in I fell for HIS trickery. (Women aren't the only ones who do trickery.) It wasn't a side relationship or anything, I simply wanted to be friends, and before you take it the wrong way, I had more male friends than female friends all my life. But I had no desire to be with them because of the relationship I was in. My desire to be with that particular ex now is non-existent. It always was. I was always remorseful for what we did, what I did. But at the time for the reason I mentioned and others that I have not nor will not, my mind became a mush and I became unable to cope with life. Take it how you will.

The dude I was with was not a fallback simp, he was an ex from ten years ago

Sweetheart, that is the definition of a fallback simp... You know what, you need Jesus, you and a whole lot of other females who consult priscilla the pussy for answers. So your pussy hasn't felt your ex in 10 years, so that makes him not a fallback simp....huh A fallback simp is somebody you talk to on the regular and keep on standby incase yo nigga fucks up right? I'm sure your ex was on your mind when you thought of a fallback. What I want to know is, why isn't the dude in this thread defending you...apparently he doesn't give a shit about your impassioned plea. You know what I think? I think it's a

 

[Rythm]

I didn't write what I did for this board, nor did I do it for sympathy. I wrote it for one person and one person only.

All that matters to me is whether or not he understands the feelings and the thoughts in what I wrote. HE is the only thing, the only person that I care about right now, (other than my child). Now if he reads this and takes ya'll advise and not take me back I won't be mad at him. If he doesn't care about a bunch of bitch made replys and take me back or tries to he will see the person he met, the person who enjoyed his company, the person who shared like interests, the one who just wanted to be with him always. Now I'm not saying I care about some of the bitch made replys, because I don't. I can admit what I am, but I still have a right to defend myself from baseless accusations that I am some sort of trickery out to get the black man cause I want a sex high. But then a gain I don't have to prove that to no one on this damn board but one muthafuckin' person. Take it how you will. Everyone is different and you can't compare me to the next chick because I ain't her.

Whoaaaa, I didnt know that you were actually sending a message to someone here.

On a different note, if a chick ever makes the statement that she has more male friends than female friends, that's a red flag to me. The only women that have told me that, were women that I knew would cheat or are cheating now.

 

[water]

"It wasn't a side relationship or anything, I simply wanted to be friends, and before you take it the wrong way, I had more male friends than female friends all my life. But I had no desire to be with them because of the relationship I was in."

Whoaaaa, I didnt know that you were actually sending a message to someone here.

On a different note, if a chick ever makes the statement that she has more male friends than female friends, that's a red flag to me. The only women that have told me that, were women that I knew would cheat or are cheating now.

 

[Cookie5nupe]

long story, but gotta get it off my chest

I had been tellin' my wife at the time that I knew somethin' was goin on... but she insisted on being caught instead of being honest. She claimed that she was out bowling with co-workers twice a week, but it was too obvious cuz whenever we'd go bowling with friends her back would always hurt the next day. Whenever she'd go 'bowling' with co-workers she'd come home like she'd been at the damn spa, all refreshed. Anyway, I sat at home ere’ night for weeks knowing that she was doin’ something but I just couldn’t prove it. I looked at her and honestly asked her if there was something wrong and she lied. I promised her that I would file for divorce if I ever discovered infidelity. Then she had the nerve to try and say that I should pray about my insecurities. I then decided that enough was enough.

I installed a caller ID box in the basement on a phone jack... then each night when I got home I would compare the numbers called on the cordless phones in the bedroom and living room to the box in the basement that she didn't know about... of course I was quickly able to figure out which number she was deleting... instead of confronting her, I just called my connects at Cellular One and ran a trace on the number... had dudes name, address, DOB, SS# and ere'thing... I drove past his crib one night that she was supposedly 'working late' and her car was there in his driveway. The car I had bought for her. I was really boiling at that point. Little did they know that I was sitting there with my loaded 9mm in lap. I had already figured out what I was gonna do. I was gonna kill her. I didn't give a damn who caught it... but SHE was the main one who was gonna get it... if dude had been there to walk her outside or something, I woulda got him too, but he wasn't my target...

I called both my moms and pops separately and told them what I was about to do. I don't know why I called my parents, I guess it was the pain eating me up inside and out of respect for them, I wanted to let them know that I was at rock bottom and that I appreciated all their love and support since birth. Kind of like a "I know you've done all you can for me and this is not your fault" type of closing. Of course they pleaded with me to calm down, drive from the scene and not resort to the violent act I had promised. I then powered off my cell phone off and sat with my finger on the trigger. I remember the day like it was yesterday... July 26, 1999. I waited and waited and waited. I must've sat there for close to 3 hours but her and dude never emerged. There's no way they could've known I was there cuz I had borrowed my buddy's SUV and was sitting on a side street about 4 houses down from dude's house.

After contemplating my options and knowing full well that after gunning them both down, I'd either go to prison or be killed in a shootout with police while on the run, I decided against it and drove home. I think what hit me in the heart was knowing that our 2 kids would've be left without their parents. I kept seeing my 5 yr old daughter's face and hearing her say "Why did you do that to mommy?" It wouldn't have been fair for me to leave them alone in this world with in-laws or someone other than one of us caring for them. I think that was God looking down on me. Honestly, I had no conscience about shooting either one of them, had I seen them. Wouldn't ya know who came home 20 minutes after I got home. It was hard to look at her that night, but I sucked it up and showed no emotions at all in front of her and played it cool.

Imagine bustin' ya azz to provide for your family and then find out that your wife is runnin' around with another dude. Not just a one time deal, but an ongoing affair. We had been together for 7 years and her tryst with dude was at least a few months. All cuz I was in last semester at Howard U. tryna make the situation betta for my family (her + 2 kids). Her older son was not my biological, but I treated him as blood and as my own child. No, I wasn't bringing in the $$$ I had the previous 5 years working FT, but I was back at Howard tryna finish up my BA. Sad part is that she was the one who inspired me to go back to Howard and finish up my degree. Yeah, I was not home as I would've liked to have been... but I was in school FT, working PT and doing an internship. Wasn't like I was out partying. I actually talked to the guy she was having the relations with. I called him the very next day on his cell and said these exact words "So... you're f**king my wife?". He then responded... "Oh,, this must be (my govt name)". Talk about me being shook, the cat knew of me and my name. Dude and I talked for like 20 minutes. He said that she told him that she was divorced. Told him that she was still in the house for the sake of the kids and that we slept in separate bedrooms. It was a tense convo, but one that enlightened us both. He confirmed a lot of things that I had suspicions about, like 'business trips', 'late hours', new tires on her car and extra money she had received. That cat was straight up being played by her but dude straight up wanted to marry her. I couldn't help but laugh at that notion.

The single most important thing that I learned from my divorce (okay okay, I learned this in my Anger Management class when I was going through the divorce) was that you can only control yourself. You do not control what any other person does. If your wife/partner wants to walk outta the door what are you gonna do… physically stop them??? That works on occasions (temporarily), but in the long run someone will end up in jail and 90% of the time it’s the man. For the most part, you just have to use good ole common sense in making decisions on the type of person that you decide to be involved with. People sometimes snicker when I admit to going to Anger Management. But those classes every Monday for 6 mos, probably saved my life. Everyday, I re-considered my thoughts of killing her. Seriously. I needed a place to relax and let my thoughts go. In that class I was in the fellowship of other brothas who were going through similar circumstances and we kinda leaned on each other and became friends.

I never asked my ex-wife why. It didn't matter to me. She betrayed me. After giving her numerous chances to come clean, she refused. I honestly was prepared to try and work things out, even if she had admitted cheating. it woulda hurt, but I would've tried. Til this day, she never admitted to what she did. Wasn't an issue for me about why anyway. I believe in the sacredness of vows, but when one person refuses to admit their wrong, you can't move forward no matter how much you love them. In that case, you must go on with your life. I was criticized by the 'God fearing' members (grandparents, uncles aunts, etc) of my family who didn't believe in divorce, but I shook them off with one question. "Would you rather I sit in a corner, cry my eyes out and contemplate murder or suicide or do what's right for me, file divorce, move on with life and eventually find someone who'll not only love and respect me, but someone who deserves my love and respect?" Room kinda went silent after that.

Fortunately, I'm here to talk about it, which let's you that I wised up and drove from away from the house that night cuz I realized that my life wasn't worth losing cuz ONE woman who betrayed me... but being on the other end of a cheating spouse hurts like hell and can drive folks to kill... trust me... I'm not a hood type cat who grew up on corners or nothin'... but I was a hurt husband who owned a gun. I advise my fellow brothas not to deal with married women. Don't look at a man's stature and assume he won't do something should he find out. A heart hurt will resort to anything when broken. The puzzy aint worth losing your life. That's from both perspectives... from the boyfriend/husband aspect and the playas who love to deal with married sistahs.

Wow.....powerful story brotha...

I couldn't even imagine goin through something like that....

~cookie

 

[big pimp]

point remains.. niggaz do dirt but bitches is grimey...straight fukkin filthy with their shit. and somehow, some way or another they always have a reason behind doing the shyt they did. when a nigga cheat more or less he's bored with the pussy.(i aint sayin it's right) but when a broad cheats....you get " you aint doin enough at home", "you work to many hours, you neva have time for me", "you don't make me feel loved or wanted" GTFO with that bullshit. then you get the "atleast i can admit it" that shyt makes you wanna haul off and flatten a bytch.

you wanna see how dirty a broad can be? watch fukkin maury. broads will straight up let you raise another man's child with no fukkin remorse. filthy!

C/S

 

[melonpecan]

"It wasn't a side relationship or anything, I simply wanted to be friends, and before you take it the wrong way, I had more male friends than female friends all my life. But I had no desire to be with them because of the relationship I was in."

If you are confused about anything please reply with your befuddlement or pm me.

The way to appropriately handle that in the future is to send a PM. Anything you put on the board is typically considered fair game...just an FYI. The reply's weren't bitch made, they were opinions, many of them were based on facts...facts that you willingly divulged. if you can't handle unbiased opinions and constructive criticism, then use the PM to get your man back.

I have been over here long enough and I have seen this board long enough with my ex, (how else would I have found it?), to know how things work on this side. I could just as easily posted this on SOL and possibly gotten sympathy. But I posted it here. Sure I could have sent him a PM, but no. I needed to explain myself to him, but I also needed to explain this to myself. I can take unbiased opinions and the criticism, (notice not every reply was scornful), but what I can't take is people generalizing the wrong things from my post. You can only speculate from what is there but there are those replies that lump me into something that I am not. As wrong as I am, I still have a right to defend myself.

it's funny how you hoodrats always think you're the one who's "different" just because your weave aint the same color as the next chick.

I'm not a hoodrat- I have ambitions and goals. Ignorant fucker. Go find a chick who wear that fake hair shit, cause I don't.

You sound like a reformed woman with this statement here...

at your

Please explain???

Most of the people here are talking about how women spit the bullshit, but men spit it too. The frame of mind I was in at the time wasn't right and I fell for such bullshit spit from anothers mouth. I shouldn't have and like I said earlier I resisted and saw through that bullshit earlier before the cheating began. I normally am not a weak willed person because when I want something I go for it. I try to believe the good in people and because I do sometimes I fall for lies, but I see through it. This was not one of those times. I fell for this shit hook, line, and sinker and I have no one to blame for it but me. But it is because I was too blind to realize this and the thoughts I had around that time makes me believe that it wasn't my will that drove it to happen but the depression. After a long talk with friend and after I had explained myself, (unlike some people here), she agreed with me because she had been through this before and had seen postpartum not with one person, but with numerous people in her life. I'm not trying to find an excuse for what I did but just as my ex is trying to figure everything out, so am I. This is the only explanation I can give for not believing what I know to be true.

 

[A to Dah K]

Well..........seems to be like therapy so here goes:

I was dating this chick for about 3 years or so, great relationship, her family was cool with me, and mine her. Anyway, I had been through a lot with her, we worked at the same place where I was a manager and she was an hourly. I started having some beef with my managers about how they were treating the black folks on the job (they was firing folk for no reason) so I spoke on it, why is that important? Cause when they let me go, they promoted my girl and gave her my position...Anyway I was there when she pledged her sorority doin all types of shyt to help her out, crazy shyt, if you are part of a frat/soror ya'll do some wyld shyt anyway, she would call me for advice about her job, and it was like I was still runnin the place just from the phone. I wrote her senior thesis for her all types of simp shyt. Anyway we at her house one night chillin after she get off work, and goes off like "why can't I go out and kick it with other folk?" I was like "I never said you couldn't" so after that I find out through one of my work connects that she met this dude at a company party, and he work for the same place about a month later this one day, I didn't hear from her at all, I played it off and decided to go to bed early, I will never forget I literally had a spiritual intervention, I opened my eyes and it was like "get to her house" so Im in the car thinkin she was in trouble. Her car there, so I called on the cell no answer. She had a broken doorbell, so she always told me to come round back to knock on the window, so as I was goin to the back, I could see through the blinds two people in the bed! My heart and me sunk to the ground and I just sat there for a few minutes I could hear everything, so I called on the cell phone that I could hear from the inside, and she wouldn't pick it up, so I finally knocked on the window and everything just stopped she peeped through the blinds and cut off the t.v. and stuff and was tryin to act like she wasn't there, eventually she came to the front door and said if I didn't leave she was gonna call the police on me, and I was like what? She was like you can't be coming over here like this and I was thinkin about all the things I had done amd decided just to go home cause I was gettin angry. Long story short I used to preach the gospel................
.....Now I'm a black activist

bitch woulda woke up to 4 slashed tires

 

[melonpecan]

Sweetheart, that is the definition of a fallback simp... You know what, you need Jesus, you and a whole lot of other females who consult priscilla the pussy for answers. So your pussy hasn't felt your ex in 10 years, so that makes him not a fallback simp....huh A fallback simp is somebody you talk to on the regular and keep on standby incase yo nigga fucks up right? I'm sure your ex was on your mind when you thought of a fallback. What I want to know is, why isn't the dude in this thread defending you...apparently he doesn't give a shit about your impassioned plea. You know what I think? I think it's a

I don't consult Priscilla the Pussy- I did not do what I did for some dick. My pussy did not long for my ex in ten years because he had never had it. The only person before this that I had sex with was the father of my child, my one true love, the one who holds my heart, the whom I love dearly, and will apologize to for the rest of my life.

It doesn't matter if he comes in here and defends me or not. If he did, it would be a HUGE character deviation coming from him and if I saw his name in this thread after this reply I'd probably have a heart attack. He is probably reading it though, or will later on. He might hate me for putting on here, but he doesn't have to come on here and defend me- I can do that myself either good way or poorly. All I want and need is for him to try to understand what I have come to realize. He has helped me realize this, in more ways in one, and I am eternally grateful. The wool has been lifted and I now see things for what they are and not for what I thought they were. And you are right, I probably do need church. But dude was not on standby as you put it.

Whoaaaa, I didnt know that you were actually sending a message to someone here.

On a different note, if a chick ever makes the statement that she has more male friends than female friends, that's a red flag to me. The only women that have told me that, were women that I knew would cheat or are cheating now.

It isn't like that. I ended up in a lot of fights when I was younger with both males and females, but females mostly. Because of that I gravitated towards male friends. But just because I have male friends doesn't mean that I have to have sex with them. I don't. I didn't. I wanted to be friends with this ex, (that was how it started), he was unlike my other friends and did not respect the boundaries of my relationship. Once again, I am not trying to blame anyone but myself, but with everything in play as it was, what I thought was a friendship turned to be hell. The fact that I mistook it for a friendship to me proves that I was not in a correct state of mind. I do however now only have one true friend that I talk to on the regular, and she happens to be a woman. It's been months since I have talked to any friends or associates that I care for platonicly that are men.

 

[Pimpin KillBillABitch]

Women have a different level to their cheating.

They be on some other shit, they be crossing all kinda lines.

They'll pick up the phone to talk to their man while they layin up in the bed next to another ninja...pussy still got nut in it.

They'll introduce you to tha dude too, and not blink once, and you'll never know.

Half the time you've met that dude she fuckin, you just didnt know.

They grimey like that. They love the thrill of it.

Dudes cheat but there's certain lines we wont cross, certain things we wont do.

Women have no concept of lines, they let their emotions take control and they dont give a fuck.

Be doing all kinda shit, Inviting you to a party knowing her man gonna be there, huggin you and shit all in front of her man like y'all best buddies, knowing she just let you nut in her mouth the day before.

I've been the side ninja, so you get to see the shit first hand. That shit can fuck with your head though, cuz you'll never look at women the same again.

It's 2008 and bitches still ain't shit.

 

[hoodlikegaza]

your story is very typical. my baby mother went through the same shit and she is catshit crazy just like most of you american broads. you get no points for admitting you have no control over yourself.

 

[water]

But just because I have male friends doesn't mean that I have to have sex with them. I don't. I didn't. I wanted to be friends with this ex, (that was how it started), he was unlike my other friends and did not respect the boundaries of my relationship. Once again, I am not trying to blame anyone but myself, but with everything in play as it was, what I thought was a friendship turned to be hell. The fact that I mistook it for a friendship to me proves that I was not in a correct state of mind. I do however now only have one true friend that I talk to on the regular, and she happens to be a woman. It's been months since I have talked to any friends or associates that I care for platonicly that are men.

There are too many instances of this for this to be a coincidental story.

It's what some women do.

They are just my male friends...... no, they are just men waiting to fuck you and you were loving the attention they were giving you knowing fully well what the deal was.

You shared what you had between you and your man with these other men emotionally.

If he was not on standby then how does a conversation go to an ex from 10years ago, who you claim you never had sex with, get to sex so fast?

Considering you just had a baby for your man, a baby that will always connect both of you, the easy way out was to sleep with your ex?




Your man knows this dude, how do you think he could respect you after that?

Stop blaming shit on your depression because you are still making excuses (don't say no because I just underlined them).

 

[Eva Hornae]

long story, but gotta get it off my chest

I had been tellin' my wife at the time that I knew somethin' was goin on... but she insisted on being caught instead of being honest. She claimed that she was out bowling with co-workers twice a week, but it was too obvious cuz whenever we'd go bowling with friends her back would always hurt the next day. Whenever she'd go 'bowling' with co-workers she'd come home like she'd been at the damn spa, all refreshed. Anyway, I sat at home ere’ night for weeks knowing that she was doin’ something but I just couldn’t prove it. I looked at her and honestly asked her if there was something wrong and she lied. I promised her that I would file for divorce if I ever discovered infidelity. Then she had the nerve to try and say that I should pray about my insecurities. I then decided that enough was enough.

I installed a caller ID box in the basement on a phone jack... then each night when I got home I would compare the numbers called on the cordless phones in the bedroom and living room to the box in the basement that she didn't know about... of course I was quickly able to figure out which number she was deleting... instead of confronting her, I just called my connects at Cellular One and ran a trace on the number... had dudes name, address, DOB, SS# and ere'thing... I drove past his crib one night that she was supposedly 'working late' and her car was there in his driveway. The car I had bought for her. I was really boiling at that point. Little did they know that I was sitting there with my loaded 9mm in lap. I had already figured out what I was gonna do. I was gonna kill her. I didn't give a damn who caught it... but SHE was the main one who was gonna get it... if dude had been there to walk her outside or something, I woulda got him too, but he wasn't my target...

I called both my moms and pops separately and told them what I was about to do. I don't know why I called my parents, I guess it was the pain eating me up inside and out of respect for them, I wanted to let them know that I was at rock bottom and that I appreciated all their love and support since birth. Kind of like a "I know you've done all you can for me and this is not your fault" type of closing. Of course they pleaded with me to calm down, drive from the scene and not resort to the violent act I had promised. I then powered off my cell phone off and sat with my finger on the trigger. I remember the day like it was yesterday... July 26, 1999. I waited and waited and waited. I must've sat there for close to 3 hours but her and dude never emerged. There's no way they could've known I was there cuz I had borrowed my buddy's SUV and was sitting on a side street about 4 houses down from dude's house.

After contemplating my options and knowing full well that after gunning them both down, I'd either go to prison or be killed in a shootout with police while on the run, I decided against it and drove home. I think what hit me in the heart was knowing that our 2 kids would've be left without their parents. I kept seeing my 5 yr old daughter's face and hearing her say "Why did you do that to mommy?" It wouldn't have been fair for me to leave them alone in this world with in-laws or someone other than one of us caring for them. I think that was God looking down on me. Honestly, I had no conscience about shooting either one of them, had I seen them. Wouldn't ya know who came home 20 minutes after I got home. It was hard to look at her that night, but I sucked it up and showed no emotions at all in front of her and played it cool.

Imagine bustin' ya azz to provide for your family and then find out that your wife is runnin' around with another dude. Not just a one time deal, but an ongoing affair. We had been together for 7 years and her tryst with dude was at least a few months. All cuz I was in last semester at Howard U. tryna make the situation betta for my family (her + 2 kids). Her older son was not my biological, but I treated him as blood and as my own child. No, I wasn't bringing in the $$$ I had the previous 5 years working FT, but I was back at Howard tryna finish up my BA. Sad part is that she was the one who inspired me to go back to Howard and finish up my degree. Yeah, I was not home as I would've liked to have been... but I was in school FT, working PT and doing an internship. Wasn't like I was out partying. I actually talked to the guy she was having the relations with. I called him the very next day on his cell and said these exact words "So... you're f**king my wife?". He then responded... "Oh,, this must be (my govt name)". Talk about me being shook, the cat knew of me and my name. Dude and I talked for like 20 minutes. He said that she told him that she was divorced. Told him that she was still in the house for the sake of the kids and that we slept in separate bedrooms. It was a tense convo, but one that enlightened us both. He confirmed a lot of things that I had suspicions about, like 'business trips', 'late hours', new tires on her car and extra money she had received. That cat was straight up being played by her but dude straight up wanted to marry her. I couldn't help but laugh at that notion.

The single most important thing that I learned from my divorce (okay okay, I learned this in my Anger Management class when I was going through the divorce) was that you can only control yourself. You do not control what any other person does. If your wife/partner wants to walk outta the door what are you gonna do… physically stop them??? That works on occasions (temporarily), but in the long run someone will end up in jail and 90% of the time it’s the man. For the most part, you just have to use good ole common sense in making decisions on the type of person that you decide to be involved with. People sometimes snicker when I admit to going to Anger Management. But those classes every Monday for 6 mos, probably saved my life. Everyday, I re-considered my thoughts of killing her. Seriously. I needed a place to relax and let my thoughts go. In that class I was in the fellowship of other brothas who were going through similar circumstances and we kinda leaned on each other and became friends.

I never asked my ex-wife why. It didn't matter to me. She betrayed me. After giving her numerous chances to come clean, she refused. I honestly was prepared to try and work things out, even if she had admitted cheating. it woulda hurt, but I would've tried. Til this day, she never admitted to what she did. Wasn't an issue for me about why anyway. I believe in the sacredness of vows, but when one person refuses to admit their wrong, you can't move forward no matter how much you love them. In that case, you must go on with your life. I was criticized by the 'God fearing' members (grandparents, uncles aunts, etc) of my family who didn't believe in divorce, but I shook them off with one question. "Would you rather I sit in a corner, cry my eyes out and contemplate murder or suicide or do what's right for me, file divorce, move on with life and eventually find someone who'll not only love and respect me, but someone who deserves my love and respect?" Room kinda went silent after that.

Fortunately, I'm here to talk about it, which let's you that I wised up and drove from away from the house that night cuz I realized that my life wasn't worth losing cuz ONE woman who betrayed me... but being on the other end of a cheating spouse hurts like hell and can drive folks to kill... trust me... I'm not a hood type cat who grew up on corners or nothin'... but I was a hurt husband who owned a gun. I advise my fellow brothas not to deal with married women. Don't look at a man's stature and assume he won't do something should he find out. A heart hurt will resort to anything when broken. The puzzy aint worth losing your life. That's from both perspectives... from the boyfriend/husband aspect and the playas who love to deal with married sistahs.

OMFG!!!! You are an inspiration, my brother. Blessings!

Naw, never confronted her at all. She never came back home (while I was there) after she found out from dude that I called him. After about a week or so, she just sent her folks over to get her stuff. I was cool with it. I let em back the truck up and move her stuff to her moms crib. Hell, I found out in the end that her moms was the one who set everything up in the first place. She met dude at her mom's job. Her folks aint nevah like me. I wasn't hood enough for them. I didn't do ghetto shit like leave my kids at home starving, so I could go to the Essence Festival like her sisters did. So when money got short and she couldn't assist her family with their bills, they blamed me for going back to school. The fact was that we had enough income as a family, but she didn't have enough to support her deadbeat siblings and family members with their rent, bills, etc as she had done behind my back for years. So they told her I wasn't man enough and convinced her to get a side piece dude to give her money in exchange for the goods.

I never once said a word about the cheating. I didn't have to. Her dumb azz showed up for the divorce proceedings in family court with the dude beside her. No reason for me to discuss the matter any further with her, it would've only made me more angry. I just wanted to move on with life and leave the dumb shit behind.

Daughter is fine. 14 now and living with ex-wife in SC. I won't even go into how the state of MD and PG County screwed me in court on visitation rights and what not before they moved away. That's a whole notha thread my man.

Coming from a woman, she'll get hers one day.

 

[Web_Guru]

your story is very typical. my baby mother went through the same shit and she is catshit crazy just like most of you american broads. you get no points for admitting you have no control over yourself.

right.

how can someone expect sympathy when admitting they have no control over their actions.

 

[water]

right.

how can someone expect sympathy when admitting they have no control over their actions.

That's the thing........

what guarantees does the dude have that she won't end up in another situation that she "had no control of"?




She was fucking the ex and in the process she was feeling guilty i.e. she knew what she was doing.........

Why the excuses?

 

[kraize]

I wanted to be friends with this ex, (that was how it started), he was unlike my other friends and did not respect the boundaries of my relationship. Once again, I am not trying to blame anyone but myself

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........so HE didn't respect the boundaries of the relationship...yet you don't blame anyone but yourself?....yea ok....we believe you....

bitches like you make me sick...an ol' Andrea Yates looking ass hoe....not guilty by reason of insanity......

 

[destrehan]

It isn't like that. I ended up in a lot of fights when I was younger with both males and females, but females mostly. .

and you say you're NOT a hoodrat!!

 

[destrehan]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........so HE didn't respect the boundaries of the relationship...yet you don't blame anyone but yourself?....yea ok....we believe you....

bitches like you make me sick...an ol' Andrea Yates looking ass hoe....not guilty by reason of insanity......

LMAO @ andrea yates!!!!

 

[Baldhead_Digital]

Most of the people here are talking about how women spit the bullshit, but men spit it too. The frame of mind I was in at the time wasn't right and I fell for such bullshit spit from another's mouth. I shouldn't have and like I said earlier I resisted and saw through that bullshit earlier before the cheating began. I normally am not a weak willed person because when I want something I go for it. I try to believe the good in people and because I do sometimes I fall for lies, but I see through it. This was not one of those times. I fell for this shit hook, line, and sinker and I have no one to blame for it but me. But it is because I was too blind to realize this and the thoughts I had around that time makes me believe that it wasn't my will that drove it to happen but the depression. After a long talk with friend and after I had explained myself, (unlike some people here), she agreed with me because she had been through this before and had seen postpartum not with one person, but with numerous people in her life. I'm not trying to find an excuse for what I did but just as my ex is trying to figure everything out, so am I. This is the only explanation I can give for not believing what I know to be true.

I'm still not clear on how you were "tricked". Did he (the other man) lie to you and tell you something like he just saw your man with another woman ,and you should get back at him by cheating? Please Explain the "trickery" that's at work here. I understand that women play game but by that I would say women say one thing and mean another and then do something completely different. But, I can't see how any one one could use trickery to get me to have sex with them. It's something I'm going to do or not going to do. I would imagine that the same thing is true for women. Either you're going to have sex or you're not going to have sex,regardless of the enticing, or is there something I'm missing.

 

[pokey]

There are too many instances of this for this to be a coincidental story.

It's what some women do.

They are just my male friends...... no, they are just men waiting to fuck you and you were loving the attention they were giving you knowing fully well what the deal was.

You shared what you had between you and your man with these other men emotionally.

If he was not on standby then how does a conversation go to an ex from 10years ago, who you claim you never had sex with, get to sex so fast?

Considering you just had a baby for your man, a baby that will always connect both of you, the easy way out was to sleep with your ex?




Your man knows this dude, how do you think he could respect you after that?

Stop blaming shit on your depression because you are still making excuses (don't say no because I just underlined them).

C/S .......baby girl you lost if he's reading this thread what are you really expecting from him ....to talk to you through this post (pming too) /oh yeah you're right know one really knows you true.... but we all know your type ...........but please tell us all on how you shitted on him

 

[gene cisco]

There are too many instances of this for this to be a coincidental story.

It's what some women do.

They are just my male friends...... no, they are just men waiting to fuck you and you were loving the attention they were giving you knowing fully well what the deal was.

You shared what you had between you and your man with these other men emotionally.

If he was not on standby then how does a conversation go to an ex from 10years ago, who you claim you never had sex with, get to sex so fast?

Considering you just had a baby for your man, a baby that will always connect both of you, the easy way out was to sleep with your ex?




Your man knows this dude, how do you think he could respect you after that?

Stop blaming shit on your depression because you are still making excuses (don't say no because I just underlined them).

Male friends????????????????????/

Closest thing she gets is 'male associates'. Means you see them at work, school or whatever, no need for phone calls.

IT IS A FUCKING MALE OF THE HUMAN SPECIES.

If she is too dumb too know he will fuck her at the drop of a hat, then why be with her. If I meet you and you on that dumb shit an I spit game and you agree..............we cool.

But afterwards if you still have 'male friends' you dumb as shit.

Thing is women set border lines, men do not. That man may have been trying to fuck you since 4th grade and is just waiting to take advantage of you being drunk as fuck..........and they will be 40 not knowing this yet.

Simp ass men will wait decades to fuck......and punk ass men will let them still be in the picture ass 'friends'.

 

[OrlandoX]

im suprised that most of these stories are coming from people who were married or in high school in the 80's. I thought most of these "gettin busted" stories were gonna be from the younger generation. I didnt expect some supposedly "mature" older women would be doin this.......i was wrong.

 

[melonpecan]

There are too many instances of this for this to be a coincidental story.

It's what some women do.

They are just my male friends...... no, they are just men waiting to fuck you and you were loving the attention they were giving you knowing fully well what the deal was.

You shared what you had between you and your man with these other men emotionally.

If he was not on standby then how does a conversation go to an ex from 10years ago, who you claim you never had sex with, get to sex so fast?

Considering you just had a baby for your man, a baby that will always connect both of you, the easy way out was to sleep with your ex?




Your man knows this dude, how do you think he could respect you after that?

Stop blaming shit on your depression because you are still making excuses (don't say no because I just underlined them).

He showed me your response...I guess he agrees with you...that doesn't mean I do. I'm not making excuses I am simply giving an explanation for why what happened happened. Because I was so confused at that time I can't even give a clear "excuse" myself. Because everything during that time is such a haze I can only predict that something else was at work against me. Once again, this is not an excuse, but merely an explanation as to why I would even want to destroy something I love and have spent so much time in.

The rest, I don't know if I can answer it- or if it is for me to answer. I did not think the easy way out was to fuck another dude. At that time all I wanted to do was run away. But I was stupid and ran to the wrong person.

That's the thing........

what guarantees does the dude have that she won't end up in another situation that she "had no control of"?




She was fucking the ex and in the process she was feeling guilty i.e. she knew what she was doing.........

Why the excuses?

I'm not giving excuses. The only guarantee I can give is my life.

right.

how can someone expect sympathy when admitting they have no control over their actions.

I don't want sympathy from you, from him, or from anyone. I did not write this to get sympathy and I have never asked for sympathy.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.........so HE didn't respect the boundaries of the relationship...yet you don't blame anyone but yourself?....yea ok....we believe you....

bitches like you make me sick...an ol' Andrea Yates looking ass hoe....not guilty by reason of insanity......

Think what you will. I don't blame anyone but myself but if it is a fact that he crossed the line knowing how I felt and what I was in then that is a fact that does not change. I crossed boundaries that I should not have crossed, but I drew these lines for the ex and to a certain degree, he crossed them as well.

and you say you're NOT a hoodrat!!

KIDS get into fights. I didn't say I go to the mall/club/Wal-mart and repeatedly fought. Get your damn mind right.

I'm still not clear on how you were "tricked". Did he (the other man) lie to you and tell you something like he just saw your man with another woman ,and you should get back at him by cheating? Please Explain the "trickery" that's at work here. I understand that women play game but by that I would say women say one thing and mean another and then do something completely different. But, I can't see how any one one could use trickery to get me to have sex with them. It's something I'm going to do or not going to do. I would imagine that the same thing is true for women. Either you're going to have sex or you're not going to have sex,regardless of the enticing, or is there something I'm missing.

I was led to believe that this ex would be there for me through tough times. I as going through some issues myself before the sex happened and I mistakenly went to this person for friendship which turned into comfort which turned into something more. I felt as though I was tricked because I fell for his sweet lines of how I should leave my true love and how I should do things with him. I 'thought' he was trying to console me and help me through that time but I realize that he used his gift of gab and I let myself be pawned into something that I did not want to be. I don't want to be that person again and I never will be.

C/S .......baby girl you lost if he's reading this thread what are you really expecting from him ....to talk to you through this post (pming too) /oh yeah you're right know one really knows you true.... but we all know your type ...........but please tell us all on how you shitted on him

He is...I am hoping that since I can better convey my thoughts, (when sincere), in writing that perhaps he would take notice. How did I shit on him? I ruined a seven year relationship because for whatever reason, (depression whatever), I was confused about us and instead of talking to him I kept things inside, bottled them up, became even more depressed, and the cheating is the end result. But I am not that person and I don't want to be that person anymore. And with all respect, you don't know my type. You don't know how I was before this, you don't know what I am like now. Once again generalizing the wrong parts of a person is detrimental.

Male friends????????????????????/

Closest thing she gets is 'male associates'. Means you see them at work, school or whatever, no need for phone calls.

IT IS A FUCKING MALE OF THE HUMAN SPECIES.

If she is too dumb too know he will fuck her at the drop of a hat, then why be with her. If I meet you and you on that dumb shit an I spit game and you agree..............we cool.

But afterwards if you still have 'male friends' you dumb as shit.

Thing is women set border lines, men do not. That man may have been trying to fuck you since 4th grade and is just waiting to take advantage of you being drunk as fuck..........and they will be 40 not knowing this yet.

Simp ass men will wait decades to fuck......and punk ass men will let them still be in the picture ass 'friends'.

A lot of what you said is pretty dead on. But as I said earlier I have not spoken to any of my male 'associates', (some I have known longer than the man I give my heart too), in months. I do not think he is a punk ass man for letting me have friends, I was stupid to take advantage of trust whether I was in my right mind or not. And the other dude is probably simp. I don't want that.






I'm tired. My insides are tired, my head is tired, I am tired. While some of you can correctly generalize some of you have ideas so twisted that it's not funny. I'm not trying to preach when I have no right to, (because I don't), but seeing as how there is no one here that knows me personally, knows my love for the man being addressed, no one knows the history that led to the cheating, no one knows the elements that I left out, how can you judge me? Would you feel better in calling me a slut if I said a reason of me being depressed in the first place was because he would hit me? Call me names? Demean me and make me feel like shit? If all of these things drove me to being depressed and that was the trigger to being a slut then so be it. Even though this is anonymous there are still things that I will not say with respect for the love of my life. Any advice is helpful, but not when it is vindictive for the wrong reasons. I can see if I laid everything on the table here and you were able to come to that conclusion based on the facts but that isn't the case. Generalizations are being made based on 50% of the facts and that is incorrect. Now my skin may not be the toughest shit around but if you knew the WHOLE deal and still called me a slut, I'd accept it.


Bit as for right now I haven't eaten in over forty-eight hours and I'm tired. Sleep bitches.

 

[kraize]

Sing along now............

 

[havelcok]

YLOR]





I had more male friends than female friends all my life.

Anytime a chick tells you this
stay well away

 

[BX Chillz]

Now i gotta but my 2 cents in after reading all of these to the dude thinking of keeping her forget it u know when u lie so much u think its true lol cut out the nice words bullshit i can clear read u threew ur post doing all u can and say to get back with him after shit fell threw with dude listen let her go get custody of ya child and leave her be u are wrong for beating and being mean to her but trust me she gonna keep making up shit for her actions get away from her and get custody soon as she know the gig is up she gonna try and tear u a new ass hole with child support she got problem that no one can help she has a mentaly wall to block shit u need to leave her be no dis to u miss am proud to see u talk about it in thread but i read threw the bullshit CHURCH

 

[marcus]

i wonder if dude she cheated on posted in this thread already.

was trying to match up stories with some of the earlier posters but nothin checked out

 

[water]

i wonder if dude she cheated on posted in this thread already.

was trying to match up stories with some of the earlier posters but nothin checked out

Dude is also an asshole if he used to abuse her. If there is a problem that you feel so strongly about that you would want to hit her, then walk away. She is not your fucking child. You you tolerate a man hitting your daughter?

I hope you read this too.....

He knew she had low self-esteem and needed to attention of men. He couldn't control it so you resorted to violence.
She got back at you by sleeping with the ex who you knew.
Now she wants to get back with your abusive ass.

Both of them need their heads checked out for the kid's sake.

 

[jwilliam85]

Dude is also an asshole if he used to abuse her. If there is a problem that you feel so strongly about that you would want to hit her, then walk away. She is not your fucking child. You you tolerate a man hitting your daughter?

I hope you read this too.....

He knew she had low self-esteem and needed to attention of men. He couldn't control it so you resorted to violence.
She got back at you by sleeping with the ex who you knew.
Now she wants to get back with your abusive ass.

Both of them need their heads checked out for the kid's sake.

Hold up kayanation, theres always three sides to a story.

 

[water]

Hold up kayanation, theres always three sides to a story.

Well let's hear your side then, stop being shy............

 

[destrehan]

yo i am so glad she decided to post. we have a live specimen of why our black women are so fucked up in this country. i don't think there is any hope left. muthafuckas are just gonna continue to interact at the lowest level, the physical. and never strive to achieve greater spiritual accordance. it's pathetic.

 

[SpiritualPorn]

Damn....this thread got GOOD