You are a very insecure man.
Rather i go to jail, to prison get paralyzed waist down get evicted my self worth and self esteem is based off of my spirtual connection i have with the heavenly father. Not if i meet the american dream or not.
You should have enough self esteem to know your worth. You basically saying you love yourself conditionally.
If a person loves themselves conditionally aint no way they can love someone else unconditionally. And if you cant love someone unconditionally you cant receive love from someone unconditionally cuz you reap what you sew. Good or bad.
Although i hate my life (not to confuse with hate myself) i have gratitude for the things i have, my health, the people and friends i have and the progress im making and i see my friends making and my people making.