What's the most embarrasing shit that happened while trying to holla at a broad?

[MadWun]

I was like 17/18 when this happened. At a house party. Shit was live as fuck. I'm in the corner chatting up this chick. The vibe was right. My boys were hating on me hard as hell.

We there in the corner chatting, and one of my boys intentionally "fake" trips infront of me, and pours his drink all over me. Some goes in my nose and I start gasping and choking. The bitch stood there doubled over laughing at me, and the whole room too.

My cool smooth vibe was killed, I go to the restroom, clean up, come out and see my boy. I smack the shit out of the back of his neck, and we start tussling. We killed the whole party

All we can do on the ride away from the part was laugh, as it was all stupid

 

[NinjaspiT]

none of yours compare to mine

I was at the gas station with a shorty I had just begun to fuck with seriously. We made a stop at the gas station and as I pulled out,all you heard was a huge screech. Almost like a tearing sound. Basically, as i drove off, the car was angled weird and I scraped the left side car door on this little pole by the gas tank smh. EVERYBODY in the gas station stopped what they were doing,to look at us. To make things worse, I didnt even stop,as soon as I heard the screech,I knew what had happened and high tailed the fuck out of that gas station, car door FUCKED UP. Even worse...it was a RENTAL!My broad had this embarrassed giggle on her face. It had to be the most embarrasing moment of my life. I played it off and blamed it on her,saying it was her fault she was beautiful, that i was looking at her and not paying attention.SMH

 

[new2nyc]

years ago, chick i just met called & wanted to go to the movies,,, i pick her up from her apt & drive to the show,,, as we are in line, some kat snatches her by her hair like "bitch!,, the fuck are you doing out with somebody else!,,, she's like "i'm sorry!, i'm sorry!",,, kat must have been stalking her & followed us,,,

now i know some of ya'll captains would have jumped in & saved the day at this point,,, but i didn't know the bitch like that, & she obviously had history with this kat (who never disrespected me directly),,,

so i proceeded to buy my own ticket while her dude dragged her ass thru the parking lot,,, people in line are staring at me, but i'm staring back like, "i don't know these muthafukaz",,, oh well,,, it was a movie i really wanted to see

Hilarious. I love it.

 

[donwuan]

My husband had a 77 black Monte Carlo....it was really nice he put a LOT of work into it. Had white leather interior. Bucket racing seats. I'm only 5'2. So i used to have to sit on phone books to drive it. And my arms are short. So to drive the car my arms had to be pretty much fully extended.



These girls were walking down the street with some short shorts on and were the finest things i've seen that month.

Anyway i'm not paying attention and i'm drifting the car, i jump the median and hit a light pole. For those in Dallas it was the intersection of Ft Worth Ave and Hampton. Wrecked hubby's car.

When we were having a party on a lake once, we were on a rented party boat. Lots of people, it was a swingers event. And these niiiiiiiiiice lookin women were in a speed boat. I was kind of over the rail. just learning, but i was up on my tip toe. And i was talking to these chicks. Well yelling at them to tell them to come on the boat. They were yelling back we were having a conversation of yelling. The boat hit a wave, and i fell over the edge into the water. The chicks picked me up though.

Fun was had by all.

you more thirty than these dudes out here.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

omg! did u see the blasian while you were on the floor? wut wuz her expression?

couldnt see her as i was tumbling,POV was like mirrors edge however i looked up,her,her friends and a police officer on the upper level were first like then i saw some older man spitting his drink out laughing almost like

 

[Helico-pterFunk]

Damn ... Niggas ain't shit LOL LOL

Yeah ... it was like something out of American Pie or something. Stifler caught the choke hold on a muthafucka. She was poolside looking good too in a bikini and flirting with some of the guys and I had that "It's My Birthday!!!!"-type courage runnin' through me until my fam' WWE / UFC'd me!!!

 

[new2nyc]

I was in Vegas a few years ago with one of my homeboys from college. We're out doing it big and I run into a female I knew from doing business with her. We had emailed and talked on the phone but never met. She was a cute white chick, fake titties, typical. We leave a private party and head to Tao for the opening night party for AVN convention. She's buying me and my homeboys drinks, she's flirting with chicks the whole nine. So she tells me that her and her dude had just broken up and she was letting off steam. Fast forward an hour or so and she's dancing on me, grabbing my dick and all that so I figure its going down.

Unfortunately for me, the homie that is with me is DRUNK as fuck. I mean, we are all lit but he's out of his body drunk. He's sitting down on the stairs and shit and if you've ever been to Tao you know security will snatch that ass up quick. So we try to bounce and he can't even walk, security ends up letting us out a side door. We hail a cab on the street (another no go for Vegas) and she rides with me to drop him at his hotel. Nigga still can't walk so I gotta take him up to his room. She gives me her room number and shit but by the time I got him settled she was fuckin sleep. She texts me the next day with a message that said "you are a good friend" with a little smirk face.

I woulda hit it the next night but she was flying out. To this day I tell that nigga he owes me a bitch ahaha.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

I had this one thick that came by my house a few years back. She had a little daughter, so she brought her along with her. While there, the little girl is captivated by my computer. Maximusblaque loves the kids, so I prop her in the chair at the computer, bring up word pad and let her type her heart away while I talk to her moms. I'm hearing the little girl press buttons, but I'm not really paying attention to what's on the screen. Next thing I know, I hear Lexington Steele scream "Arrrrggggghhhhh." Me and her mom both look over. Her mama is terrified because of the scream and I'm embarrassed, because I know exactly what was going down. I'm talking about it was one of those oral creampie vids that I got from BGOL. They didn't leave right then, but she mysteriously got a phone call about 10 minutes later and she said she had to leave. I wonder what she's up to now.​

better be glad it wasnt that one vid(of dude screaming like he getting branded or something while he busting a nut)

 

[Helico-pterFunk]

I had this one thick that came by my house a few years back. She had a little daughter, so she brought her along with her. While there, the little girl is captivated by my computer. Maximusblaque loves the kids, so I prop her in the chair at the computer, bring up word pad and let her type her heart away while I talk to her moms. I'm hearing the little girl press buttons, but I'm not really paying attention to what's on the screen. Next thing I know, I hear Lexington Steele scream "Arrrrggggghhhhh." Me and her mom both look over. Her mama is terrified because of the scream and I'm embarrassed, because I know exactly what was going down. I'm talking about it was one of those oral creampie vids that I got from BGOL. They didn't leave right then, but she mysteriously got a phone call about 10 minutes later and she said she had to leave. I wonder what she's up to now.​

 

[new2nyc]

I was taking this class over at spelman with nothing but females in there. It was about the first or second week of the semester. I left my seat in the front of my class, to go spit at this chick that I had got the number from a day or two before. Anyway, I had my laptop on my desk, opened it up right before I got up and logged in and low and behold as I am getting ready to spit in her ear, that Alyah Sashu scene starts playing again (I had been watching that shit earlier). It was just at the end where that prison dude was like "Gimme this ass, Gimme this ass baby Gimme this ass". SMFH! There was really ain't no way my ass could explain my way outta that shit.

I took the L and dipped the fuck out.

Oh shit. I went to CAU so I know how Spelmanites can be. you were probably labeled as the porn watchin nigga for the rest of the semester.

 

[playahaitian]

I was taking this class over at spelman with nothing but females in there. It was about the first or second week of the semester. I left my seat in the front of my class, to go spit at this chick that I had got the number from a day or two before. Anyway, I had my laptop on my desk, opened it up right before I got up and logged in and low and behold as I am getting ready to spit in her ear, that Alyah Sashu scene starts playing again (I had been watching that shit earlier). It was just at the end where that prison dude was like "Gimme this ass, Gimme this ass baby Gimme this ass". SMFH! There was really ain't no way my ass could explain my way outta that shit.

I took the L and dipped the fuck out.

so when you posting the link?

 

[mk23666]

First date with this chick she wanted to go bowling. I hadn't gone bowling since an elementary school field trip, and back then we bowled with the bumpers and rolled two handed. So, I get there and start scoping people who are bowling out to try and visually teach myself how to bowl.

Anyways the bowling alley was packed and we were put between two large groups of people. I choose a heavy ball with holes too large and it ends up slipping out of my hands during the backswing and rolls quickly towards the group to my left.

Both groups burst out laughing and I start sweating like crazy. Some girl has pity on me and brings me a lighter weight ball and they burst out laughing again. But, I stick it out and end up bowling pretty good for the rest of the date.

My date and I laughed about it after we got back to my house.

 

[playahaitian]

On vacation in Haiti as a teenager and we all went to the beach including this BEAUTIFUL girl who looked like a young tyra banks.

So a bunch of guys were clowning and showing off in front of her and I was so shy and shit...

but I guess that tropical sun got me and I went over and starting diving in the deep water and coming back with shells and shit. (When my azz could barely swim) she's clapping and shit and I swim over and start talking to her, she wants to go back on the beach and I try to be all superhero and pick her up.

I don't realize that my raging erection is in full view of the ENTIRE BEACH..

My boy tries to signal me but I keep walking up to the beach looking like a horny male Bo Derek coming out the water

Her mother sees this and starts cursing in French, my boy FINALLY gets my attention and I'm so embarrassed I drop her.

On the beach...

hard.

On rocks.

and she gets stung by a jellyfish.

worst.summer.ever.

 

[The Plutonian]

Too much dumb shit but here go: I was in high school dating the girl every body wanted to fuck. We fucked a few times but I needed to loosen her up. I stayed way the fuck across town and she gave the call that her moms was gone so come hit it. Man I called every mf I knew for a ride. I was in shape so I was about to jog it but my man had a new 10 speed bike so I begged and he gave it up. I hit the highway and that 10 speed was rolling. On the way I almost got hit by two fucking 18 wheelers because he didn't have a lot of reflectors on the bike. Needless to say it took about an hour to get back because I stayed off the highway and away from them fucking trucks.

 

[molecan2005]

none of yours compare to mine

I was at the gas station with a shorty I had just begun to fuck with seriously. We made a stop at the gas station and as I pulled out,all you heard was a huge screech. Almost like a tearing sound. Basically, as i drove off, the car was angled weird and I scraped the left side car door on this little pole by the gas tank smh. EVERYBODY in the gas station stopped what they were doing,to look at us. To make things worse, I didnt even stop,as soon as I heard the screech,I knew what had happened and high tailed the fuck out of that gas station, car door FUCKED UP. Even worse...it was a RENTAL!My broad had this embarrassed giggle on her face. It had to be the most embarrasing moment of my life. I played it off and blamed it on her,saying it was her fault she was beautiful, that i was looking at her and not paying attention.SMH

Classic!!

 

[hussla's paradice]

I shitted on myself....

Too much dumb shit but here go: I was in high school dating the girl every body wanted to fuck. We fucked a few times but I needed to loosen her up. I stayed way the fuck across town and she gave the call that her moms was gone so come hit it. Man I called every mf I knew for a ride. I was in shape so I was about to jog it but my man had a new 10 speed bike so I begged and he gave it up. I hit the highway and that 10 speed was rolling. On the way I almost got hit by two fucking 18 wheelers because he didn't have a lot of reflectors on the bike. Needless to say it took about an hour to get back because I stayed off the highway and away from them fucking trucks.

I can dig it!!!!!

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

you more thirty than these dudes out here.

I've always been told vagina would be my downfall.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

On vacation in Haiti as a teenager and we all went to the beach including this BEAUTIFUL girl who looked like a young tyra banks.

So a bunch of guys were clowning and showing off in front of her and I was so shy and shit...

but I guess that tropical sun got me and I went over and starting diving in the deep water and coming back with shells and shit. (When my azz could barely swim) she's clapping and shit and I swim over and start talking to her, she wants to go back on the beach and I try to be all superhero and pick her up.

I don't realize that my raging erection is in full view of the ENTIRE BEACH..

My boy tries to signal me but I keep walking up to the beach looking like a horny male Bo Derek coming out the water

Her mother sees this and starts cursing in French, my boy FINALLY gets my attention and I'm so embarrassed I drop her.

On the beach...

hard.

On rocks.

and she gets stung by a jellyfish.

worst.summer.ever.

 

[Helico-pterFunk]

On vacation in Haiti as a teenager and we all went to the beach including this BEAUTIFUL girl who looked like a young tyra banks.

So a bunch of guys were clowning and showing off in front of her and I was so shy and shit...

but I guess that tropical sun got me and I went over and starting diving in the deep water and coming back with shells and shit. (When my azz could barely swim) she's clapping and shit and I swim over and start talking to her, she wants to go back on the beach and I try to be all superhero and pick her up.

I don't realize that my raging erection is in full view of the ENTIRE BEACH..

My boy tries to signal me but I keep walking up to the beach looking like a horny male Bo Derek coming out the water

Her mother sees this and starts cursing in French, my boy FINALLY gets my attention and I'm so embarrassed I drop her.

On the beach...

hard.

On rocks.

and she gets stung by a jellyfish.

worst.summer.ever.

 

[playahaitian]

On vacation in Haiti as a teenager and we all went to the beach including this BEAUTIFUL girl who looked like a young tyra banks.

So a bunch of guys were clowning and showing off in front of her and I was so shy and shit...

but I guess that tropical sun got me and I went over and starting diving in the deep water and coming back with shells and shit. (When my azz could barely swim) she's clapping and shit and I swim over and start talking to her, she wants to go back on the beach and I try to be all superhero and pick her up.

I don't realize that my raging erection is in full view of the ENTIRE BEACH..

My boy tries to signal me but I keep walking up to the beach looking like a horny male Bo Derek coming out the water

Her mother sees this and starts cursing in French, my boy FINALLY gets my attention and I'm so embarrassed I drop her.

On the beach...

hard.

On rocks.

and she gets stung by a jellyfish.

worst.summer.ever.

 

[Coldchi]

i was dressed nice....slacks, shirt & tie....fresh out the barbershop fade.....stepped to her like a gentleman, with charisma and common fuckin sense. bitch brushed me the fuck off to respond to and chop it up with a nigga who had a mouth full of golds, saggin, and callin her "aye red"!!. shit left me mind boggled, pissed, and embarrassed.

 

[Llano]

i was dressed nice....slacks, shirt & tie....fresh out the barbershop fade.....stepped to her like a gentleman, with charisma and common fuckin sense. bitch brushed me the fuck off to respond to and chop it up with a nigga who had a mouth full of golds, saggin, and callin her "aye red"!!. shit left me mind boggled, pissed, and embarrassed.

That's not what I call embarrassing, she did you a favor and probably saved you a lot of headaches...

 

[playahaitian]

That's not what I call embarrassing, she did you a favor and probably saved you a lot of headaches...

truth

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

didnt happen to me but i ended up getting a classmate in trouble my junior yr of h.s..he was trying to get the attention of this white chick who sat in the desk in front of me so he wrote a page and a half-long note and was handing it
to me when it slipped through my fingers and went to the floor..as this was happening the science teacher was like "who can tell me about the central nervous system.." when she saw dude passing the note and me dropping it she said"maybe the answer is in the note i just seen being passed!" rest of the class was like"ohhh damn" she picked up the note and looked at it for a second then she said"ill just read the part thats underlined..'marcy(girl's name), by the way i heard you like dark meat so i got a nice thick
joint for you..im gon' make yo insides creamy white..dreamy white.."

at this point she stopped reading and her face was red than a mofo
then she balled the note up and told dude to come up to the desk,then she wrote a slip for him to go the principal and was like "here,take the note with you please." almost the whole class including marcy had fell out laughing

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Man that was the best 1 in this whole thread no need to be shame. You win sir. You win.

*passes you my special to order Mojito*

Cheers to you!

They need to put your episode in a teen comedy movie lol

 

[Soul On Ice]

funny shits
bump

 

[Osca Lee]

My husband had a 77 black Monte Carlo....it was really nice he put a LOT of work into it. Had white leather interior. Bucket racing seats. I'm only 5'2. So i used to have to sit on phone books to drive it. And my arms are short. So to drive the car my arms had to be pretty much fully extended.



These girls were walking down the street with some short shorts on and were the finest things i've seen that month.

Anyway i'm not paying attention and i'm drifting the car, i jump the median and hit a light pole. For those in Dallas it was the intersection of Ft Worth Ave and Hampton. Wrecked hubby's car.

When we were having a party on a lake once, we were on a rented party boat. Lots of people, it was a swingers event. And these niiiiiiiiiice lookin women were in a speed boat. I was kind of over the rail. just learning, but i was up on my tip toe. And i was talking to these chicks. Well yelling at them to tell them to come on the boat. They were yelling back we were having a conversation of yelling. The boat hit a wave, and i fell over the edge into the water. The chicks picked me up though.

Fun was had by all.

didnt know you and your man lived in metroplex...77 Monte Carlo what engine did it have in it?

I was in a club with some buddies just chillin'...matter of fact for those who know Dallas it was the Bomb Factory and Gregg Street had the 69 boys performing that night. It was some bad ass women in thaaat mf and I had my eyes on a certain one. I am bold and walk over and spit game at her and get the pager number thinking im doing something and she on me the entire time and her friend comes up to her and tells her something she tells me she will be right back. Then Greg Street stops the music and announces he wants all the strippers on stage...all of a sudden Toostie Roll comes on and this mf on stage showing naked ass......my heart dropped, dudes was touching all over her, she all on her knees slangin' her ass around and around.

After she finished dancing she had the nerve to come back to me and post up.....I was like sheed git yo ass away from me.

I was 17...just finished high school green than an mf

 

[Archonic Monk]

I coughed in class while talking to the Broad and a loud fart came out ........she raised her hand and told the teacher in class

 

[bluskyII]

I coughed in class while talking to the Broad and a loud fart came out ........she raised her hand and told the teacher in class

What was up with that? I'm weak!!!

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

I coughed in class while talking to the Broad and a loud fart came out ........she raised her hand and told the teacher in class

damn she snitched on you?

 

[cli-terminator]

Bump

 

[tekk]

i posted this in another thread.. i had bought a large chocolate shake from the food court dairy queen at the mall near where i live,as i was going on the down
escalator i saw this girl(blasian) and her friends going up to the upper level..as i turned to say hi i lost my footing and tumbled down the rest of the escalator spilling my milkshake on my shirt,the rail,etc when i landed at the bottom(the down escalator was facing the Old Navy store),a couple of the employees and a security guard(black dude) walking by were like

 

[Majik]

Was at a highschool dance I was trying to holla at this chick I had been feeling for a lil so I decided to step up to her to talk to her and in mid convo I kept seeing her slightly turn away and then turn back then she gives me a piece a gum and then bounces.

 

[cli-terminator]

Was at a highschool dance I was trying to holla at this chick I had been feeling for a lil so I decided to step up to her to talk to her and in mid convo I kept seeing her slightly turn away and then turn back then she gives me a piece a gum and then bounces.

Damn that's bad

 

[RepostKing]

was stalking a chick in NY down on wall street. Snow bunny had the finest ass I ever scene. Followed her to the elevator and couldnt believe my luck when just her and I got in alone. Just then I had a gas attack from beans I ate the day before. I strained to keep it in but it came out wet. She didn't ignore it either. She was like just stay the fuck away from me and got off on the next floor