What's the most embarrasing shit that happened while trying to holla at a broad?
- Thread starter cli-terminator
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One of my roommates in college had one of his crazy we-going-get-evicted Caribbean parties and I decide to buy 3 magnums of the cheapest champagne. 2 1/2 mags in I pass out. I come to find out the next afternoon that before I went down for the count I was simping HARD on this chick that I was digging, to the point that I got on one knee proposing my undying love to her. And right before I promised slow walks holding hands in the mall, BLAM! I fall faced first onto the floor blackout. It was so bad that my roommate and his boy had to drag me to my room face first- giving me a nice carpet rash as a mark of my shame.
To this day I have reservations about drinking champagne.
* two cents*
I kind of had the same experience. I actually had my feet on the ground trying to impress some chicks beside me on a red light. As soon as the light turned green I let the clutch out just a little to much and gave her way to much gas ! I was looking like this..
I have always been they type to workout, of course fellas always workout chest and biceps for the ladies. Hot summer night on 6Th Ave walking towards 8th street towards gray's papaya. 50 cent Frank's! Got my shirt off nice white girl staring at me as she is parking her car. I'm think I'm the man because my chest is all swole and I got a white girl staring ! My dumbass walked straight into the parking meter. Needless to say no number and my boy and her were laughing their ass off. 
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I had been trying to talk to this one chick for a long time and finally got her to lunch when I started choking on my chocolate milk and it spewed all over the place (My friends were in the back ground making faces). Yep, never had lunch with her again! LOL!! Ah, grade school.
Winter time at Bryant Park, Fashion Week Event so the press was out in full force. I had just kicked it to this bad broad. I didn't get the number but we made plans to have lunch later that day so I was like 
. Any way I'm walking down the steps and it had just snowed those damn stairs were slippery as hell. I slid down every fucking stair, not only that but I tried to fight the fall on the way down grabbed a flower pot and pulled that shit on top of me. I'm layed out at the bottom of the stairs, big ass geranium on my chest, jeans are ripped, flash bulbs are going off in my face. Damn camera men captured the whole thing. Security guards help me up. Home girl is at the top of the stairs trembling from trying not to laugh
Needless to say I didn't go back to the park for that lunch date.
. Any way I'm walking down the steps and it had just snowed those damn stairs were slippery as hell. I slid down every fucking stair, not only that but I tried to fight the fall on the way down grabbed a flower pot and pulled that shit on top of me. I'm layed out at the bottom of the stairs, big ass geranium on my chest, jeans are ripped, flash bulbs are going off in my face. Damn camera men captured the whole thing. Security guards help me up. Home girl is at the top of the stairs trembling from trying not to laughNeedless to say I didn't go back to the park for that lunch date.
I have recovered from the embarrassment of this, and can finally tell the story.
I was in Wawa after the bar with a few friends, and the place is packed. Started talking with this chick, and I'm trying to focus on speaking to her because I'm pretty damn drunk, and I end up walking into the cardboard Frito Lay display, falling straight through it. Every time I tried to get up, I kept slipping because the Dorito bags were under me. All you hear is chips crunching and laughing.
I was in Wawa after the bar with a few friends, and the place is packed. Started talking with this chick, and I'm trying to focus on speaking to her because I'm pretty damn drunk, and I end up walking into the cardboard Frito Lay display, falling straight through it. Every time I tried to get up, I kept slipping because the Dorito bags were under me. All you hear is chips crunching and laughing.
A few years ago, I was out to eat dinner with this girl on a first date & got caught off guard with a sneeze. Unfortunately it was a really violent sneeze that caused me to fart very loudly as well. There was no way for me to mask that shit, she definitely heard it & started to laugh at me. To make matters worse the fart was a borderline shart so I had that uneasy feeling like I soiled myself while sitting. It didn't stink but still had me self-conscious about getting up or walking around for the rest of the night. Needless to say I didn't get any buns that night.
I took this dime to ATL...this mf was fine ass hell. You know me...all that fancy ass eating out aint for ya boy. So we stopped at soul food joint and got some food..im sitting there listening to her pretty as lie about she aint had sex in 6 months and other bullshit...next thing I know I see JETS onion arm pits smelling ass...this nigga walked up to the table wearing leggins and toms...with glitter in them...plus he had his real ass galaxy S3...check this shit out.....
This nigga was eating a bag of Lays Chitterling chips...im like when did Lays start making them....She was like eeew...your friend is eating fried shit...I put a welders mask on and talked to Jets....that didnt help cause his breaf melted to autodim panel so I had to text him and explain to him it was cool seeing him and told him to get his ass on somewhere
This nigga was eating a bag of Lays Chitterling chips...im like when did Lays start making them....She was like eeew...your friend is eating fried shit...I put a welders mask on and talked to Jets....that didnt help cause his breaf melted to autodim panel so I had to text him and explain to him it was cool seeing him and told him to get his ass on somewhere
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After work, there shall be hell to pay for your shenanigans.
Sent from my real ass galaxy s3!
Winter time at Bryant Park, Fashion Week Event so the press was out in full force. I had just kicked it to this bad broad. I didn't get the number but we made plans to have lunch later that day so I was like
Needless to say I didn't go back to the park for that lunch date.
This shit still bothers me to this day....... When I was in the Air Force I went to Lackland AFB in San Antonio for temporary duty (aka TDY or temporary divorce ya'll). Hanging out with some of my boys getting ready to go to the club. There's two cars and about 15 people. Anyways there's this army cat there with a car and we invited him because we needed another car, I end up in his car. So the three cars are in a line on the highway and army dude decides to show off in his 5.0 and pass the other cars. BTW the only person who knew how to get to the club was in the first car! Everybody's pissed at him because we lose sight of the other cars.
We get off the highway and stop at a gas station to try to get directions. I see these two Latina chicks(my kryptonite at the time) come out the store. I step to the fine one and start kicking game. I'm making some progress but then I make a fatal mistake.
Being from Connecticut when I see a Latin person I automatically think Puerto Rican but we in Texas so I'm thinking Mexican.
I tell her I always had a thing for Mexican girls. She gets this disgusted look on her face and she says " I'm Puerto Rican" She grabs her friend who the army cat was talking to and jump in their car and bounce!
We never made it to the club and me and the army dude nearly get into it because I called him a dumbass for passing the car we was supposed to be following. Luckily my boys had my back!!
We get off the highway and stop at a gas station to try to get directions. I see these two Latina chicks(my kryptonite at the time) come out the store. I step to the fine one and start kicking game. I'm making some progress but then I make a fatal mistake.
Being from Connecticut when I see a Latin person I automatically think Puerto Rican but we in Texas so I'm thinking Mexican.
I tell her I always had a thing for Mexican girls. She gets this disgusted look on her face and she says " I'm Puerto Rican" She grabs her friend who the army cat was talking to and jump in their car and bounce!
We never made it to the club and me and the army dude nearly get into it because I called him a dumbass for passing the car we was supposed to be following. Luckily my boys had my back!!
Winter time at Bryant Park, Fashion Week Event so the press was out in full force. I had just kicked it to this bad broad. I didn't get the number but we made plans to have lunch later that day so I was like
Needless to say I didn't go back to the park for that lunch date.
For some reason this tickled me...The visual I have on this ish has my sides & abs hurting
For some reason this tickled me...The visual I have on this ish has my sides & abs hurting
I can laugh about it now, but that day was rough as hell. It was first thing in the morning too so I had to wait for the department stores to open before I could buy some new jeans.
I was late as hell for work. People in Dr. Jays(clothing store). Looking at me and my torn dirty jeans like i'm crazy. The cashier was like you probably going to wear those now huhhad one of those "starts out silent then increases volume"farts myself
on a school trip with some students from another h.s. i was standing on the bus talking with this group of girls that a classmate of mine had met..thing was i hadindian fry bread for lunch(which was topped w/ red chili and refried beans) and some chocolate milk which also didnt help cause the BGs were starting to b uild up so i thought'ah maybe no one will notice..' so i let it out at first it was like "Ffffffff-"then suddenly"BLBLBBBBBBBBBB"
the bus cleared out w/ the quickness years ago, chick i just met called & wanted to go to the movies,,, i pick her up from her apt & drive to the show,,, as we are in line, some kat snatches her by her hair like "bitch!,, the fuck are you doing out with somebody else!,,, she's like "i'm sorry!, i'm sorry!",,, kat must have been stalking her & followed us,,,
now i know some of ya'll captains would have jumped in & saved the day at this point,,, but i didn't know the bitch like that, & she obviously had history with this kat (who never disrespected me directly),,,
so i proceeded to buy my own ticket while her dude dragged her ass thru the parking lot,,, people in line are staring at me, but i'm staring back like, "i don't know these muthafukaz",,, oh well,,, it was a movie i really wanted to see
Fuck that you kept it real FORREAL. I aint dealin with that shit. No need for both of us to have drama.
This is one of my "Only in New York" stories.
I was in the city (lower manhattan) with my boy and his little cousin. Just chillin, showin the kid the city. We go into a bodega and what do I see before me!?! Two Victoria Secret models standing there thumbing through some fashion magazines. I knew I would never get a shot at this again in life, so I go in.
I start with some small talk and they are feeling it. It's basically shit about the women in the mag not being fly and that they could be models (I knew they were already) but they smile at each other and were amused and intrigued. My dude's little cousin peeps it and falls back on some soak up some game type shit.
I don't know where my boy was, but he does the complete opposite of his 16 year old cousin. He rushes in, stands in between the two chicks and me and says "OH SHIT! YOU'RE VICTORIA SECRET MODELS!______________ YOU'RE KICKIN GAME WITH MODELS!" They both were like Then said "Well, it was nice meeting you." They put the magazines back on the rack and left.
I'm standing there with an Arizona in my hand like "What the fuck just happend?" My dudes cousin was like "Why the fuck did you just do that? You fucked him up." I had no words for about an hour after that.
This is the chick I was trying to get at. Tall, fly chick, no make up on, on some regular shit, bad as hell.
I was in the city (lower manhattan) with my boy and his little cousin. Just chillin, showin the kid the city. We go into a bodega and what do I see before me!?! Two Victoria Secret models standing there thumbing through some fashion magazines. I knew I would never get a shot at this again in life, so I go in.
I start with some small talk and they are feeling it. It's basically shit about the women in the mag not being fly and that they could be models (I knew they were already) but they smile at each other and were amused and intrigued. My dude's little cousin peeps it and falls back on some soak up some game type shit.
I don't know where my boy was, but he does the complete opposite of his 16 year old cousin. He rushes in, stands in between the two chicks and me and says "OH SHIT! YOU'RE VICTORIA SECRET MODELS!______________ YOU'RE KICKIN GAME WITH MODELS!" They both were like
Then said "Well, it was nice meeting you." They put the magazines back on the rack and left. I'm standing there with an Arizona in my hand like "What the fuck just happend?" My dudes cousin was like "Why the fuck did you just do that? You fucked him up."
I had no words for about an hour after that.This is the chick I was trying to get at. Tall, fly chick, no make up on, on some regular shit, bad as hell.
years ago, chick i just met called & wanted to go to the movies,,, i pick her up from her apt & drive to the show,,, as we are in line, some kat snatches her by her hair like "bitch!,, the fuck are you doing out with somebody else!,,, she's like "i'm sorry!, i'm sorry!",,, kat must have been stalking her & followed us,,,
now i know some of ya'll captains would have jumped in & saved the day at this point,,, but i didn't know the bitch like that, & she obviously had history with this kat (who never disrespected me directly),,,
so i proceeded to buy my own ticket while her dude dragged her ass thru the parking lot,,, people in line are staring at me, but i'm staring back like, "i don't know these muthafukaz",,, oh well,,, it was a movie i really wanted to see
:lo
l:
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Bump!
Sent from my Galaxy....
Sent from my Galaxy....
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