What's the most embarrasing shit that happened while trying to holla at a broad?

[SaKem]

i posted this in another thread.. i had bought a large chocolate shake from the food court dairy queen at the mall near where i live,as i was going on the down
escalator i saw this girl(blasian) and her friends going up to the upper level..as i turned to say hi i lost my footing and tumbled down the rest of the escalator spilling my milkshake on my shirt,the rail,etc when i landed at the bottom(the down escalator was facing the Old Navy store),a couple of the employees and a security guard(black dude) walking by were like

You were in San Diego at Plaza Bonita And the girl was prolly black and filipino.

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

Friend of mine was talking to this girl on the phone. He was telling her he was training for a bodybuilding competition and he on a diet. Works out twice a day, eats tuna for lunch, drinks nothing but water. While he's telling her this he's pulling up to the drive thru to burger king. He told her hold on he had another call and thought he pressed the mute button.

He then proceeds to order 2 whoppers, 2 bk jr whoppers, 2 large fries, a side salad with a large Pepsi. The girl on the phone heard all of this and said OMG I guess the diet is over. He said he just said oh shit yea it is and hung up. Never called her again. He was 5'8" at 250 at the time. huge gut. I dont know how he was going to play that off when they were going to meet.

all he had to do was say the whoppers were for his friends

 

[badmutherfukr]

years ago, chick i just met called & wanted to go to the movies,,, i pick her up from her apt & drive to the show,,, as we are in line, some kat snatches her by her hair like "bitch!,, the fuck are you doing out with somebody else!,,, she's like "i'm sorry!, i'm sorry!",,, kat must have been stalking her & followed us,,,

now i know some of ya'll captains would have jumped in & saved the day at this point,,, but i didn't know the bitch like that, & she obviously had history with this kat (who never disrespected me directly),,,

so i proceeded to buy my own ticket while her dude dragged her ass thru the parking lot,,, people in line are staring at me, but i'm staring back like, "i don't know these muthafukaz",,, oh well,,, it was a movie i really wanted to see

 

[D300Man]

Man I was in my teens when this happened. I met this shorty at church. She asked for my number, called me later that night. I was sitting on the floor in my Mom's bedroom watching TV. Mom was asleep on the bed and while I was in my zone with shorty, Mom cut the loudest fart this side of heaven! I was so embarrassed I hung up on shorty and said, MA!!!!!!!!!!

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Man I was in my teens when this happened. I met this shorty at church. She asked for my number, called me later that night. I was sitting on the floor in my Mom's bedroom watching TV. Mom was asleep on the bed and while I was in my zone with shorty, Mom cut the loudest fart this side of heaven! I was so embarrassed I hung up on shorty and said, MA!!!!!!!!!!

Why do you guys just HANG up tho? lmao...It's like you PANIC and the first thing you can think of to do is hang up.lmao

 

[Salty Nuts]

 

[Helico-pterFunk]

Trying to mack on some girl at the pool back when we were teenagers in the early-90s. Believe it was my birthday party and had friends there with me. Anyway ... tried to spit some weak lines her way and one of my friends came over and jumped from my right side and locked in a CHOKEHOLD and dunked me. Shit was embarassing, funny, and hurt like a muthafucka - couldn't play that one off for shit, even if I tried.

 

[mallorquin]

I was taking this class over at spelman with nothing but females in there. It was about the first or second week of the semester. I left my seat in the front of my class, to go spit at this chick that I had got the number from a day or two before. Anyway, I had my laptop on my desk, opened it up right before I got up and logged in and low and behold as I am getting ready to spit in her ear, that Alyah Sashu scene starts playing again (I had been watching that shit earlier). It was just at the end where that prison dude was like "Gimme this ass, Gimme this ass baby Gimme this ass". SMFH! There was really ain't no way my ass could explain my way outta that shit.

I took the L and dipped the fuck out.

 

[Duece]

Okay I know y'all wont believe me, but this happened to my man...



Okay we were in this party. It was packed as hell. Like barely enough space to walk. So me and my man walk by these bitches and my man says some slick shit to one of them. She slayed him hard as hell. Like "Ill. No nigga go that way please." or some shit like that. You could tell his feelings were kind of hurt. At that very moment some melee happened not far from us and movement stops altogether.

He ends up having to stand damn near shoulder to shoulder with the bitch who just played him for like the next 15 minutes. He had the look on his face, and she was visibly disgusted.

In my head I was like

Dude we must know each other off line or something because that exact same thing happened to me years back

 

[ThaBurgerPimp]

I was taking this class over at spelman with nothing but females in there. It was about the first or second week of the semester. I left my seat in the front of my class, to go spit at this chick that I had got the number from a day or two before. Anyway, I had my laptop on my desk, opened it up right before I got up and logged in and low and behold as I am getting ready to spit in her ear, that Alyah Sashu scene starts playing again (I had been watching that shit earlier). It was just at the end where that prison dude was like "Gimme this ass, Gimme this ass baby Gimme this ass". SMFH! There was really ain't no way my ass could explain my way outta that shit.

I took the L and dipped the fuck out.

damn W Pipes

 

[mallorquin]

damn W Pipes

Naw it was this one.

 

[Duece]

I haven't had embarrassing things happen, but I've been turned down so harshly that it's left my face red.

 

[cli-terminator]

I was taking this class over at spelman with nothing but females in there. It was about the first or second week of the semester. I left my seat in the front of my class, to go spit at this chick that I had got the number from a day or two before. Anyway, I had my laptop on my desk, opened it up right before I got up and logged in and low and behold as I am getting ready to spit in her ear, that Alyah Sashu scene starts playing again (I had been watching that shit earlier). It was just at the end where that prison dude was like "Gimme this ass, Gimme this ass baby Gimme this ass". SMFH! There was really ain't no way my ass could explain my way outta that shit.

I took the L and dipped the fuck out.

 

[woodchuck]

My dude was chatting up a nice little something at the bar Club 112 one night, and he decided that her drink was on him. I was standing next to them, and dude was in the zone. He was telling her shit that had me like , and her like , so I'm like, "Do your thang, bruh." All of a sudden, in a loud voice, the barkeep goes "Yo bank said, 'No!' Just fuckin' with you, man. Yo' card got decline tho', playa.". I slid him a 20 spot, but the damage was done.

As for me, the worst was when I was talking to this chick, and after a few minutes, I went to take piss. I'm washing my hands afterwards, and I look in the mirror and see an eye booger. I come back out, and she looks at me and says, "Took care of that, huh?" She was cool about it.

 

[keone]

Friend of mine was talking to this girl on the phone. He was telling her he was training for a bodybuilding competition and he on a diet. Works out twice a day, eats tuna for lunch, drinks nothing but water. While he's telling her this he's pulling up to the drive thru to burger king. He told her hold on he had another call and thought he pressed the mute button.

He then proceeds to order 2 whoppers, 2 bk jr whoppers, 2 large fries, a side salad with a large Pepsi. The girl on the phone heard all of this and said OMG I guess the diet is over. He said he just said oh shit yea it is and hung up. Never called her again. He was 5'8" at 250 at the time. huge gut. I dont know how he was going to play that off when they were going to meet.

 

[keone]

Wait............whaaat? What he have to do with it?

 

[Salty Nuts]

Trying to mack on some girl at the pool back when we were teenagers in the early-90s. Believe it was my birthday party and had friends there with me. Anyway ... tried to spit some weak lines her way and one of my friends came over and jumped from my right side and locked in a CHOKEHOLD and dunked me. Shit was embarassing, funny, and hurt like a muthafucka - couldn't play that one off for shit, even if I tried.

Damn ... Niggas ain't shit LOL LOL

 

[Fuzzy_McNut]

I freaked the black and it fell out my mouth....

 

[christuckerassmokey]

I'm drunk as hell trying to spit at this chick after the club let out and spent bout 20 sec trying to light a cigarette on the wrong end. Crazy shit is, when you are fucking up 20 sec seems like about five minutes. Filter was all burnt up and crusty and my lungs was hurting from trying to get that mfer to pull.

 

[woodchuck]

I'm drunk as hell trying to spit at this chick after the club let out and spent bout 20 sec trying to light a cigarette on the wrong end. Crazy shit is, when you are fucking up 20 sec seems like about five minutes. Filter was all burnt up and crusty and my lungs was hurting from trying to get that mfer to pull.

 

[Shadow]

at this whole damn thread, man!

 

[Studio718]

riding my bike with my boy on Jamaica ave back in the day we spot some bad looking girls from hoe, I mean Hillcrest HS.
We make eye contact and my boy waves, they wave back....
The ave was packed and my dumb ass decided to Pop a wheelie on my mongoose........

Let's say I just got up, did the running hop on the bike with the front wheel wobbling and peddled my hurt ego self out of there with the quickness.

The whole ave was weak!!!!

 

[TheKingofVa]

some classic shit in this thread

 

[dahype1x]

Tripped on the damn carpet in the mall after getting the digits... I turned it into a jog to try to play it off... later she told me she was all over it.

busted!

 

[dahype1x]

i posted this in another thread.. i had bought a large chocolate shake from the food court dairy queen at the mall near where i live,as i was going on the down
escalator i saw this girl(blasian) and her friends going up to the upper level..as i turned to say hi i lost my footing and tumbled down the rest of the escalator spilling my milkshake on my shirt,the rail,etc when i landed at the bottom(the down escalator was facing the Old Navy store),a couple of the employees and a security guard(black dude) walking by were like

omg! did u see the blasian while you were on the floor? wut wuz her expression?

 

[Cock Head Jones]

Too fucking Funny

What was the movie?

Taken?

 

[beg4mercy]

I shitted on myself....

 

[woodchuck]

Taken?

I shitted on myself....

 

[KINGSAPIO]

Niggas is Gon Start Crying On This:

In Brooklyn I'm Known In The Dancehall Club (Caribbean City). This Club Is Mega Packed As Usual On Sunday Nights; Was With My Team Turning Up The Dance Floor, When I Told Them I'll Be Back To Use The Restroom.

As I'm Approaching The Bathroom, My Confidence Told Me I Got This When I Seen This Baddddddddd Shorty Just Fucking Glowing... And She Knew She Was Bad Too :groupwave

Me: Placing my hand on her hand for introduction

Her: Disrespectfully snatching her hand away from me and says "LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!"

Me: "Babe, All I Was..."

Her: (Out Loud) "Didn't I Tell You To Leave Me Alone, Damn MotherFucker!!!!"

Me: (Face Looking Like Shit, But Trying To Formulate A Comeback)
"You Bugging, I Didn't Want Your Ass In The First Place, All I Was...."

Her: (Still Out Loud) "Yeah Right! That's Why Your Hand Was On Mine, And You Just Mad Cause I Called You Out, Now Go Back Where The Fuck You Came From"

Embarrassed By All Girls Laughing On The Sideline.
Luckily Music Stopped, Lights Come On, & Jabba (NightClub DJ) Must of Saw What Was Going On & Told The Whole Club, You Disrespecting My Man, But We Disrespected You Last Weekend Spitting Milk All On Your Face. Never Saw Her Again In That Club

After Everything My Boys Was Like "YO, WTF Happened?", I'm like man I just want to forget about it. Called A Side Piece After ClubLife, & She Saved My Day!

 

[Notorious P.I.M.P.]

I was taking this class over at spelman with nothing but females in there. It was about the first or second week of the semester. I left my seat in the front of my class, to go spit at this chick that I had got the number from a day or two before. Anyway, I had my laptop on my desk, opened it up right before I got up and logged in and low and behold as I am getting ready to spit in her ear, that Alyah Sashu scene starts playing again (I had been watching that shit earlier). It was just at the end where that prison dude was like "Gimme this ass, Gimme this ass baby Gimme this ass". SMFH! There was really ain't no way my ass could explain my way outta that shit.

I took the L and dipped the fuck out.

Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahhahahahahhahahha

 

[MaximusBlaque]

I had this one thick that came by my house a few years back. She had a little daughter, so she brought her along with her. While there, the little girl is captivated by my computer. Maximusblaque loves the kids, so I prop her in the chair at the computer, bring up word pad and let her type her heart away while I talk to her moms. I'm hearing the little girl press buttons, but I'm not really paying attention to what's on the screen. Next thing I know, I hear Lexington Steele scream "Arrrrggggghhhhh." Me and her mom both look over. Her mama is terrified because of the scream and I'm embarrassed, because I know exactly what was going down. I'm talking about it was one of those oral creampie vids that I got from BGOL. They didn't leave right then, but she mysteriously got a phone call about 10 minutes later and she said she had to leave. I wonder what she's up to now.​

 

[Studio718]

90% of those fronting women in carribean city are broke.

 

[patscorpio]

this was after i broke up with an ex....my game was rusty as hell...i went out with 2 of my boys downtown to get into some clubbin...while my boy went in to piss at some pizza parlor...this chick caught my eye...we were kind of staring at each other and then smiling...my other boy notice it and was like "pat go talk to her son"..and i take like a half step and was all of a sudden feelin real self conscious so i was like playin it off like like "nah im good"...so he went over, chopped it up with her for a few, then came to where i was with her...im over talmbout "ahhhhhhh"...stuttering and shit for like 3 mins until finally she's like i have a man (i dont think she did) and was like nice talking to you..my boys were like damn you fucked that up and was rollin...terrible

 

[quickflip]

I had this one thick that came by my house a few years back. She had a little daughter, so she brought her along with her. While there, the little girl is captivated by my computer. Maximusblaque loves the kids, so I prop her in the chair at the computer, bring up word pad and let her type her heart away while I talk to her moms. I'm hearing the little girl press buttons, but I'm not really paying attention to what's on the screen. Next thing I know, I hear Lexington Steele scream "Arrrrggggghhhhh." Me and her mom both look over. Her mama is terrified because of the scream and I'm embarrassed, because I know exactly what was going down. I'm talking about it was one of those oral creampie vids that I got from BGOL. They didn't leave right then, but she mysteriously got a phone call about 10 minutes later and she said she had to leave. I wonder what she's up to now.​

 

[DipsetBi7ch]

I was once in a strip club the old Eros, downtown Detroit...

So I was leaving out the restroom, and before walking out, I had about $5 in singles that I planned to smack the fat ass that was shaking on stage.. So while I was memorized with my 10 second goal, as soon as I extended my hand to smack that ass, I tripped over the stripper stairway, feet all in the air.......


I had to lay there for a second and laugh it off, the stripper stopped and keeled down to ask if I was alright... End up getting a free dance off that feat


But I lost cool points that day..