actually try to impress a chick instead of ignoring them
str8-up sagacity right here, jim.

actually try to impress a chick instead of ignoring them
Met this chick on myspace before it was really popping a couple years back. Talked on the phone a couple times and she wanted me to come see her. So I drive out there (about an hour and some change) and this chick is the ugliest chick I have ever seen in my life. Bitch look like a dirty ostrich, I was mad as hell. She taking me around her town showing me off to her friends and shit. So I am out there for about an hour and just pull over to this parking lot. (I drove all this way I was gonna get a nut) and this bitch goes and kisses me in the mouth. She had the most chapped lips in the world and I can still taste that homemade tasting lipgloss she had on. I got my nut dropped her off and took the LONGEST ride of shame back home.
this chick is the ugliest chick I have ever seen in my life. Bitch look like a dirty ostrich,
Nigga you stole a bike to get some pussy? Only people around my way I know that steal bikes to go places is crackheads.
My absolute dumbest was...fooling around with a broad who had a live in man errrr husband...he was at work (alledgedly
)...we upstairs in their townhome buck nekkid ...he banging on the front door...I scoop my clothes up off the floor tip toe to guest bedroom closet while she let him in...that nigga came in all loud and shit, and he brought his homeboy..maybe for backup...he mustve knew I was punishing them guts..Them 2 niggas stayed there well over 2 hours..I got dressed in the closet trying not to laugh (thinking what do I say if he open the door)..I fell asleep...she woke me up we left and had sex in my car.
is that a long way?
Why you aint take the train?
Yes Otis, that is far as hell.
Met this chick on myspace before it was really popping a couple years back. Talked on the phone a couple times and she wanted me to come see her. So I drive out there (about an hour and some change) and this chick is the ugliest chick I have ever seen in my life. Bitch look like a dirty ostrich, I was mad as hell. She taking me around her town showing me off to her friends and shit. So I am out there for about an hour and just pull over to this parking lot. (I drove all this way I was gonna get a nut) and this bitch goes and kisses me in the mouth. She had the most chapped lips in the world and I can still taste that homemade tasting lipgloss she had on. I got my nut dropped her off and took the LONGEST ride of shame back home.
When I was a sophomore at Georgia Southern....i met a bitch on Collegeclub.com She lived about 20-25 miles away. At the time I had no car, and this bitch was promising me the pussy. So I went on campus and stole the first bike i could get my hands on and Lance Armstrong'd to that hoe's house. My ass muscles were almost hurtin too much to fuck. The hoe actually had the audacity to laugh at me when she found out a rode a bike to her crib. I made her ass pay for that shit when the belly smackin commenced tho.
(sigh) Before i tell this story, I wanna say, Fuck y'all! Fuck all y'all! Okay, here goes:
I met this one chick in Miami who was bi, a freak, and a DIME!!! She comes by the hotel and scoops me up to take me to her place. We get to the crib and there's this Mayor McCheese looking fat bitch there, and they both are on some threesome shit.Yeah, I fucked them both. I had to hit McCheese to get to the dime.
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Man, you ninja's is crazy.
Not the dumbest thing but I remember this time there was this fine red and ninja's was on her tuff so I acted like I didnt even notice her. *she said my fuck you attitude and brash demeanor trumpted all the ninja's in her face begging for it.*
and one time I played the friend role back in the day. My boy was smashing this sister *5'4'', 120 lbs great curves a strong 7-8 from alaska* in our barracks but ole girl loved her some me had me own her insurance and all that shit, would sleep in the bed with her at night drive her car and some mo shit, when my boy found out I had been causing gut renovations he was pissed at me but I would have never did it if I wasn't cool with her.
REAL TALK... Back when I was a young nigglett. I stole mom's brand new Monte Carlo in the middle of the night. After talkin' to a breezy for like 4 hours about how she want me to be her 1st. Would of been my 1st to, but she didnt know that. On my way to her house on the westside of town. A dog runs in front of the fuckin' car. Causing me to swerve, so not to hit the dog. Hittin' the fuckin' curb, BREAKS THE AXEL on moms new WHIP!!!
Nervous ass fuck, I pull out the trusty bus pass. Rode that bitch back to the pad. Climbed my happy/scared ass back thru the window to my room. Got outta tho clothes, waited bout 5mins to get my nerves right. (and my lie together) Ran into moms room like I just seen a ghost. Told her I heard some shit outside. Me, her & pops rolled outside to find that... SOME MUTHA FUCKA HAD STOLE THE MUTHAFUCKIN CAR!!!
Pussy is a hell'of a drug...![]()
probably taken a cab from the bronx to brooklyn and back to the bronx.
went to projects to pick this chick up, not knowing her baby daddy lived in the building right across from hers. nigga was hangin out in the courtyard with a gang of niggas, and i just walked passed them. came out with the bitch and walked passed them again. in hindsight, shit could have gone bad.![]()
was faithful to a bitch with good pussy that turned out to be a FUCKING WHORE!!!!! But hey, i'm not bitter![]()
and i thought I did some stupid shit.
REAL TALK... Back when I was a young nigglett. I stole mom's brand new Monte Carlo in the middle of the night. After talkin' to a breezy for like 4 hours about how she want me to be her 1st. Would of been my 1st to, but she didnt know that. On my way to her house on the westside of town. A dog runs in front of the fuckin' car. Causing me to swerve, so not to hit the dog. Hittin' the fuckin' curb, BREAKS THE AXEL on moms new WHIP!!!
Nervous ass fuck, I pull out the trusty bus pass. Rode that bitch back to the pad. Climbed my happy/scared ass back thru the window to my room. Got outta tho clothes, waited bout 5mins to get my nerves right. (and my lie together) Ran into moms room like I just seen a ghost. Told her I heard some shit outside. Me, her & pops rolled outside to find that... SOME MUTHA FUCKA HAD STOLE THE MUTHAFUCKIN CAR!!!
Pussy is a hell'of a drug...![]()
and i thought I did some stupid shit.
REAL TALK... Back when I was a young nigglett. I stole mom's brand new Monte Carlo in the middle of the night. After talkin' to a breezy for like 4 hours about how she want me to be her 1st. Would of been my 1st to, but she didnt know that. On my way to her house on the westside of town. A dog runs in front of the fuckin' car. Causing me to swerve, so not to hit the dog. Hittin' the fuckin' curb, BREAKS THE AXEL on moms new WHIP!!!
Nervous ass fuck, I pull out the trusty bus pass. Rode that bitch back to the pad. Climbed my happy/scared ass back thru the window to my room. Got outta tho clothes, waited bout 5mins to get my nerves right. (and my lie together) Ran into moms room like I just seen a ghost. Told her I heard some shit outside. Me, her & pops rolled outside to find that... SOME MUTHA FUCKA HAD STOLE THE MUTHAFUCKIN CAR!!!
Pussy is a hell'of a drug...![]()
REAL TALK... Back when I was a young nigglett. I stole mom's brand new Monte Carlo in the middle of the night. After talkin' to a breezy for like 4 hours about how she want me to be her 1st. Would of been my 1st to, but she didnt know that. On my way to her house on the westside of town. A dog runs in front of the fuckin' car. Causing me to swerve, so not to hit the dog. Hittin' the fuckin' curb, BREAKS THE AXEL on moms new WHIP!!!
Nervous ass fuck, I pull out the trusty bus pass. Rode that bitch back to the pad. Climbed my happy/scared ass back thru the window to my room. Got outta tho clothes, waited bout 5mins to get my nerves right. (and my lie together) Ran into moms room like I just seen a ghost. Told her I heard some shit outside. Me, her & pops rolled outside to find that... SOME MUTHA FUCKA HAD STOLE THE MUTHAFUCKIN CAR!!!
Pussy is a hell'of a drug...![]()
was faithful to a bitch with good pussy that turned out to be a FUCKING WHORE!!!!! But hey, i'm not bitter
Drove from Birmingham to Detroit to fuck a broad I met on black planet.
Drove from Birmingham to Detroit to fuck a broad I met on black planet.
BIRMINGHAM 2 DETROIT???
PLEASE tell me its another city closer 2 detroit named birmingham thats NOT in alabama.
cuz if it aint (b4 i read the other ones) u just MIGHT get the trophy.
Man, I swear to god homeboy... This was back in 2007. I drove from morning to the next morning. It was february, icey, and cold than a motherfucker. When I got there I had to get a room for two nights which was $140ish... I only saw this chick for 2 hours in which for only 45 minutes of that I fucked.
I don't know what came over me... she was looking so thick on blackplanet and just had to have it... I wasn't disappointed but she wasn't what I thought it was going to be like in person. This chick was a freak, she was in this biking gang/clan full of other freaks also ...
Shame On Me.
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