VOTE! BGOL Writing Contest 1

[godofwine]

Nah mine was welcome to the war room. Just having some fun since the thread is winding down



I knew you wouldn't take it the wrong way

good pennin' bruv

Kanye has just became a punchline. His ass is going to be used as much as Colin Powell. You are seriously crazy for bringing him in here. Since the kids are gone, I like BGOL much better. Y'all are some cool cats.

 

[owl]

Yeah, I kind of miss some of the brothers though...

good work by the way, GoW

 

[Les W]

Yeah, I kind of miss some of the brothers though...

good work by the way, GoW

I think everyone did great job it is a tough assignment especially if you don't do short stories can be hard to paint that picture, develop characters make a good plot and story line masterfully in just a couple pages

Also like I said just meeting deadline and putting ur self out there among strangers is something to be proud of we can't all be mealstroms

gottaread and review coldchi's tomorrow tho cause I am burned out but I read his story's before he got some good ideas

 

[mealstrom]

I think everyone did great job it is a tough assignment especially if you don't do short stories can be hard to paint that picture, develop characters make a good plot and story line masterfully in just a couple pages

Also like I said just meeting deadline and putting ur self out there among strangers is something to be proud of we can't all be mealstroms

gottaread and review coldchi's tomorrow tho cause I am burned out but I read his story's before he got some good ideas

Don't give me too much credit! Every time I put a story out there I'm scared shitless that everyone is going to think it's junk, hard to read, and a shitty storyline. The only thing I can do is try as hard as I can to write the movie playing in my head and hope it comes out okay.

With all the talent we've seen so far, plus the talent we haven't seen yet, I have no doubt that the cats here are going to be showing me up every contest. I'm going to have to improve my skills immensely to keep up with the peeps here!

 

[Dannyblueyes]

Don't give me too much credit! Every time I put a story out there I'm scared shitless that everyone is going to think it's junk, hard to read, and a shitty storyline. The only thing I can do is try as hard as I can to write the movie playing in my head and hope it comes out okay.

With all the talent we've seen so far, plus the talent we haven't seen yet, I have no doubt that the cats here are going to be showing me up every contest. I'm going to have to improve my skills immensely to keep up with the peeps here!

Quit being so modest. Not only did you just put your work through the fire, you also launched a contest that you could have lost. I'll gladly submit my writing anywhere, but invite competition? All the brass in the world couldn't give me those balls.

That being said, any time I write a story I'll run the plot by one of my more straight laced friends. If they look at me like I'm insane then it's probably a good idea. It always helps to have a few born again Christians in your phone book

If I'm still unsure I run the good idea by a crazy friend. If they start chiming in with pointers then I KNOW it's a winner. It always helps to have a few chronic alcoholics in your phone book.

By the time the story is finished and submitted I already have a captive audience. the Christians want to see if I'll finally fall from grace and let Jesus in my life. The alcoholics want to see their own ideas taken seriously for a change. So what if the rest of the world hates it? At least I made somebody happy with my writing.

 

[cbm_redux]

You can get a netgear for like $40-50 at walmart.

...or cheaper than that on Amazon.com with the added bonuses of no shipping cost or sales tax.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

I started a thread for favorite authors and writing techniques. It might turn out interesting.

http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=423729

 

[Mr MajestiK]

What I can't understand is how a couple of stories (including mine) could only get one vote? (and in a couple of cases, none at all.)

 

[godofwine]

What I can't understand is how a couple of stories (including mine) could only get one vote? (and in a couple of cases, none at all.)

I thought about that, too. Only 16 votes total?

 

[mealstrom]

What I can't understand is how a couple of stories (including mine) could only get one vote? (and in a couple of cases, none at all.)

I thought about that, too. Only 16 votes total?

This was a surprise for me too. I really wish more of the fam here had voted - that would have spread more votes around for everyone.

Look back on the pointers, tips, and suggestions from everyone and next contest I have no doubt you'll end up with the majority of votes!

 

[Les W]

What I can't understand is how a couple of stories (including mine) could only get one vote? (and in a couple of cases, none at all.)

I thought about that, too. Only 16 votes total?

This is why though Damien Stone should have been in I thought we should keep it at 10 that is a lot to read, mind you were are on Colin Powell Approved BGOL

Which is why I suggest future contests be limited in number or have designated voters

A limit of say 4 would exclude some people for a week, but it would make the stories better because you can work on it an extra week and the crowd participation higher cuts down the required reading = win-win. Problem is great gain calls for great sacrifice and many people don't want to sit out me thinks

 

[jdc12]

Just had a chance to read through the stories. I was definitely impressed with what I saw. Also, I was a big fan of the fact that there were many different genres used to try to get their story across. I may have to get in one of these future contests since like many of you, I'm always looking to improve my writing skills.

 

[ansatsusha_gouki]

What I can't understand is how a couple of stories (including mine) could only get one vote? (and in a couple of cases, none at all.)

I thought about that, too. Only 16 votes total?

This was a surprise for me too. I really wish more of the fam here had voted - that would have spread more votes around for everyone.

Look back on the pointers, tips, and suggestions from everyone and next contest I have no doubt you'll end up with the majority of votes!

yall should know bgol dont like to read.....

especially if its more than 3 paragraphs

 

[owl]

The Colin Powell Conundrum coupled with many not feeling comfortable with voting, may have caused the sparcity.

Truth be told, I'm simply proud to have been apart of the first salvo. I know we have inspired others, and in my small list of life aspirations, that's all I need to keep me interested.

Ribbons to all those who participated.

 

[sakinnuso]

i just don't think most of the site cared enough to read. The fact that the Colin sig runs rampant on the site tells a lot.

One of the reasons that I was kind of leaning towards putting the posts in a new thread/board is because 1.)easy to find, especially for the newly curious 2. easy to see how many people VIEW posts, and 3. in it's own board, there can be a writing resources thread, a CRITIQUE thread, and a thread archiving the stories, contests, and feedback.


Think the Hollywood Board. When people want to draw someone's attention to something, they link it in a BGOL post to the Hboard. Just a thought....down with the consensus...

 

[mealstrom]

yall should know bgol dont like to read.....

especially if its more than 3 paragraphs

True. I think the more of these we have with different people playing the bigger and bigger our voting base will become.

So Assassin, what's up with the next contest? You hosting it? I know you said you're working on a story that sounds like a lot of fun to write.

 

[ansatsusha_gouki]

i just don't think most of the site cared enough to read. The fact that the Colin sig runs rampant on the site tells a lot.

One of the reasons that I was kind of leaning towards putting the posts in a new thread/board is because 1.)easy to find, especially for the newly curious 2. easy to see how many people VIEW posts, and 3. in it's own board, there can be a writing resources thread, a CRITIQUE thread, and a thread archiving the stories, contests, and feedback.


Think the Hollywood Board. When people want to draw someone's attention to something, they link it in a BGOL post to the Hboard. Just a thought....down with the consensus...

great idea.......I've been wondering why their's no educational forum......


Its a good idea to have a forum where people can show off their writing material and get it critique

But I doubt it will happen though

True. I think the more of these we have with different people playing the bigger and bigger our voting base will become.

So Assassin, what's up with the next contest? You hosting it? I know you said you're working on a story that sounds like a lot of fun to write.

I'll host the next contest but I'll have to wait til Monday to kick it off

 

[Daimy0]

Shit..Dont know how I missed this....Im in on the contest next time around....

Do we have to go by different themes..or is it simply anything or everything goes as far as literary genres?

 

[ansatsusha_gouki]

Shit..Dont know how I missed this....Im in on the contest next time around....

Do we have to go by different themes..or is it simply anything or everything goes as far as literary genres?

We are doing different themes.

I'm gonna to allow 10 people to enter the second contest so it will be easier.I will officially announce the second contest Monday.

 

[sakinnuso]

So are in-depth critiques/analysis coming, or is this pretty much done? Has everyone has mentally moved to the next idea or BGOL implementation? Just curious...

 

[mealstrom]

Alright all, I updated the first post with winners and prizes! There was a 4-way tie for the Bronze, so we had 6 winners!

 

[godofwine]

Ok, what did everybody write.

Mealstrom: The Beast
Godofwine: The Hunters
Les W: The War Room
Owl: Afkan

Who wrote the rest?

 

[owl]

I actually plan on writing a more indepth critique for everyone, right now, I'm in traffic and trying to finish up some assignments and other personal projects.

I have been pushing the educational board idea for over a year now...the logic is that it doesn't have a demand.

Anyphuck...

I think we should have a means to critique and support our writing, a writing center as was brilliantly observed.

 

[LSN]

This is BGOL...the home of Colin Powell...you know niggas that voted did not read most of the shit...

 

[Mr MajestiK]

I actually plan on writing a more indepth critique for everyone, right now, I'm in traffic and trying to finish up some assignments and other personal projects.

I have been pushing the educational board idea for over a year now...the logic is that it doesn't have a demand.

Anyphuck...

I think we should have a means to critique and support our writing, a writing center as was brilliantly observed.

Brotha Owl, I'd appreciate it if you critiqued my entry mayne.

 

[owl]

I'd be honored, Maj.

Give me some time to knock off these assignments.

 

[godofwine]

Brotha Owl, I'd appreciate it if you critiqued my entry mayne.

Same here. As a newbie it is important to see or know what other people are seeing. I threw a few things in there that I was wondering if context clues were enough. I didn't say that it was French when the hunter spoke “Vous sont bien?”, but I did note that he touched his neck to change languages and noted that he touched before switching to Spanish when he said “Esta bien?” and before he spoke English he touched it again. It wouldn't make sense IMO to just have the hunters speaking fluent English without some method of translation or explanation of how they learned and were so good at it.

I felt that the reader should get it from the context clues without me having to spell it out. My wife thought differently.

Also, I named my lead character Dorian Miller in remembrance of Doris "Dorie" Miller US Navy, the first African American to receive the Navy Cross.

 

[Les W]

Same here. As a newbie it is important to see or know what other people are seeing. I threw a few things in there that I was wondering if context clues were enough. I didn't say that it was French when the hunter spoke “Vous sont bien?”, but I did note that he touched his neck to change languages and noted that he touched before switching to Spanish when he said “Esta bien?” and before he spoke English he touched it again. It wouldn't make sense IMO to just have the hunters speaking fluent English without some method of translation or explanation of how they learned and were so good at it.

I felt that the reader should get it from the context clues without me having to spell it out. My wife thought differently.

Also, I named my lead character Dorian Miller in remembrance of Doris "Dorie" Miller US Navy, the first African American to receive the Navy Cross.

Sorry bruh but think she was kinda right. I had no clue, matter of fact I almost asked how they were multilingual AND recluses, but thought that was too critical...which it was

I think something that taught me and we should all learn, is that avg people aren't hanging on our every word, not even close, especially after reading 7-8 completely different stories so being clear is key.

 

[Dannyblueyes]

I wrote "Damn You Dirty Elves"

 

[sakinnuso]

I felt that the reader should get it from the context clues without me having to spell it out. My wife thought differently.

Also, I named my lead character Dorian Miller in remembrance of Doris "Dorie" Miller US Navy, the first African American to receive the Navy Cross.

Sorry bruh but think she was kinda right. I had no clue, matter of fact I almost asked how they were multilingual AND recluses, but thought that was too critical...which it was

I think something that taught me and we should all learn, is that avg people aren't hanging on our every word, not even close, especially after reading 7-8 completely different stories so being clear is key.

The neck touch made sense to me. I might've made a bigger to-do about the the action or perhaps made the actual touch more 'mechanical', but I understood what you were doing and it didn't break the flow. However, I can see how there might've been confusion.

****

My feedback might've gotten buried under the thread activity, but I tried to offer a little bit of my take on everyone's submission. Also, for anyone that checked out Titans, I've been re-reading a few times since the contest ended. There are a few things that I would've definitely cut out (two mountains, "take us to hell"...), but I'm bugged about other choices. For the sake of space and word count, I tried to keep the details 'impressionistic' giving a sense of space and place without bogging down the details. Also, the bad guys, i.e., the 'reclaimers', was an attempt to leave the name as 'on the nose' as possible so one could immediately know what they did and who they were upon first meeting them. I'm thinking perhaps the action should've started sooner? Perhaps hinted to the 'subatomic' a little sooner? Was the story, pacing, and intent clear? It could've been that it was mad boring, or perhaps started at the wrong point? A poorly written story, I can fix with improving technique. A 'bad' story needs to be re-examined completely. Just curious...

-S

 

[godofwine]

Sorry bruh but think she was kinda right. I had no clue, matter of fact I almost asked how they were multilingual AND recluses, but thought that was too critical...which it was

I think something that taught me and we should all learn, is that avg people aren't hanging on our every word, not even close, especially after reading 7-8 completely different stories so being clear is key.

I hear you. I also threw in that the elders had learned the language. I threw in the elders' knowledge, too. Next time I will be more clear. I wasn't specific so it was easy to miss. Next time I will run the story past my wife before I drop it

Our elders used to routinely go out into your world out of sheer curiosity, but your people always seem to fear what they don’t know. Then, before they even find out if it is something to fear they kill it. After years of learning about your species, including languages and habits, our elders thought it better of our clan that we keep to ourselves

 

[mealstrom]

I threw a few things in there that I was wondering if context clues were enough. I didn't say that it was French when the hunter spoke “Vous sont bien?”, but I did note that he touched his neck to change languages and noted that he touched before switching to Spanish when he said “Esta bien?” and before he spoke English he touched it again. It wouldn't make sense IMO to just have the hunters speaking fluent English without some method of translation or explanation of how they learned and were so good at it.

I actually thought you did that brilliantly. I read once in an interview with Dean Koontz that you have to do a balancing act between tricking the readers and letting them figure out your plot twists. This was a cool way to make the reader feel smart (i.e. "Hey, I figured out how they knew the languages!") which keeps them interested. It was also a brilliant idea. I like that they didn't know which language to use at first and were experimenting. One thing I don't like is that a lot of fantasy and sci-fi has everyone automatically understanding each other, which isn't realistic. Plus it gave a mysterious back story to the hunters without having to go into a lot of detail. I loved it.

I think something that taught me and we should all learn, is that avg people aren't hanging on our every word, not even close, especially after reading 7-8 completely different stories so being clear is key.

That's a GREAT thing to remember. When writing short stories we don't have a lot of time to get into character backgrounds, descriptions, etc. You have to IMMEDIATELY hook the reader and make them feel like they HAVE to finish the story. If you don't have them hooked by the end of the first paragraph chances are they aren't going to finish it.

 

[Mr MajestiK]

Ok, what did everybody write.

Mealstrom: The Beast
Godofwine: The Hunters
Les W: The War Room
Owl: Afkan

Who wrote the rest?

I wrote The Big Score

I also want in on the next contest.

Oh, and we also need our own dedicated forum.

 

[future2001]

i want in on the next contest and the one after that lol....

 

[Sampson]

Damn. I forgot to vote.

But yeah, I wrote Masturation. I had to do it in half an hour because I left it till the last minute... and yeah, I definitely want in on the next competition.