Relationship Question

BigRoob

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BGOL Investor
Fellas,

If your lady moves into your home that you own (paying mortgage) with her two kids, daddy is not paying child support and she makes $25k more than you how would you split the bills?

Edit they plan to marry within a year or so I guess.

Ladies feel free to answer. Just want to make sure I'm not giving bad advice.
 
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Continue paying the mortgage, never allow someone else to be responsible for your mortgage. have her pay utilities and buy groceries.

Definitely no free rides going on, and she's responsible for her car payments and insurance as you are for yours.

The money you would normally pay out, bank it.
 
Peace,

It’s my house, so I’m paying the mortgage (plus if some shit goes down, I don’t want her to be able to claim that she’s paying rent) but I would expect her to pay for her kids and their expenses. I would also expect her to be just as generous as I am when it comes to other things - if she’s selfish I wouldn’t consider moving her in at all.
 
Moved in with her kids?!?

I guess they've been dating a while... I'd expect her to kick out more money towards her children's expenses, if not covering everything for them. What are their ages?!? But, she also makes more, so perhaps convering some utilities or groceries, since she has more mouths to feed.

Maybe I'm a little "traditional," but I'm not all for moving into some man's house with my kids before we're married. But, that's just me.
 
Peace,

It’s my house, so I’m paying the mortgage (plus if some shit goes down, I don’t want her to be able to claim that she’s paying rent) but I would expect her to pay for her kids and their expenses. I would also expect her to be just as generous as I am when it comes to other things - if she’s selfish I wouldn’t consider moving her in at all.
I went back and edited the mortgage part for this very reason. I have been there before.
 
Moved in with her kids?!?

I guess they've been dating a while... I'd expect her to kick out more money towards her children's expenses, if not covering everything for them. What are their ages?!? But, she also makes more, so perhaps convering some utilities or groceries, since she has more mouths to feed.

Maybe I'm a little "traditional," but I'm not all for moving into some man's house with my kids before we're married. But, that's just me.
19 & 13
 
have her pay electric, cable, gas, water, and grocery bills. Those are the expenses most impacted by the move. Also, force her to open a joint account where she puts in minimum $200 per month. Make sure your dude uses these extra savings for long term investments for him, not her. Make sure she pays all expenses for the children as well. Lastly, he better not marry her unless he wants to end up broke.
 
Peace,



I know quite a few people who have. There’s nothing worse than not being able to remove someone from your own home.

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Good comments from everyone. There definitely needs to be an agreement and understanding in beforehand, like others have said. Especially with her arriving (with 2 teenaged children). Also, with her earning a considerable $25k more, as you said. Things can get dicey when a household suddenly goes from 1 to 4 individuals with the original person already paying the mortgage. What percentage of the bills, groceries, entertainment or travel will she be covering moving forward? Or how will they divide the household expenses (and mortgage)? Also ... how long will the 19yo be around, or are they moving out soon? The 13yo still has several years at home.
 
The big thing, as others have mentioned, is to have an understanding of what the financial responsibilities are. And oh no, she paying a portion of the mortgage. Costs money to have a roof.

Just make sure you all agree to terms.
 
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Good comments from everyone. There definitely needs to be an agreement and understanding in beforehand, like others have said. Especially with her arriving (with 2 teenaged children). Also, with her earning a considerable $25k more, as you said. Things can get dicey when a household suddenly goes from 1 to 4 individuals with the original person already paying the mortgage. What percentage of the bills, groceries, entertainment or travel will she be covering moving forward? Or how will they divide the household expenses (and mortgage)? Also ... how long will the 19yo be around, or are they moving out soon? The 13yo still has several years at home.

Yeah, that agreement and understanding shit is meaningless.

Too much to factor in. If she is making 25k more, then I see no reason for her to move in unless she (or he) is shitty with money and struggle to stay afloat.
 
The big thing, as others have mentioned, is to have an understanding of what the financial responsibilities are. And oh no, she paying a portion of the mortgage. Costs money to have a roof.

Just make sure you all agree to terms.

I just want to clarify based on some of the comments in seeing. Yes, you continue to pay the mortgage payment each month. That's your name on the deed. However, she will need to kick out some money for living there besides just utilities.

At the end of the day, your names on the deed, you assume all the risk. HVAC breaks, need a new roof, mailman slips and breaks his neck on your icy steps, one of her kids likes to play with matches and lighter fluid, property depreciation... All that's on you. I would approach it from the standpoint of a land lord and tenant...But without the renters rights. If she starts talking putting her name on the deed, co-ownership, or tenant-in-common then dead that shit.
 
Continue paying the mortgage, never allow someone else to be responsible for your mortgage. have her pay utilities and buy groceries.

Definitely no free rides going on, and she's responsible for her car payments and insurance as you are for yours.

The money you would normally pay out, bank it.
Yep! I totally agree here. Have her pay all the utilities.
 
Fellas,

If your lady moves into your home that you own (paying mortgage) with her two kids, daddy is not paying child support and she makes $25k more than you how would you split the bills?

Edit they plan to marry within a year or so I guess.

Ladies feel free to answer. Just want to make sure I'm not giving bad advice.

You meant "you not taking bad advice" son, I'd do the highest bill split. Mortgage or light bill plus next higher bill (which i will keep the heat and AC rolling) it's not your responsibility to raise another free dick styling dudes seeds. IDGAF how fine she is. You've been warned...
 
Have to ask yourself a question. What’s in it for you? Cause for her it’s, moving in a house, no mortgage bill, place for the kids to stay, save money. I’ll keep everything the same till after marriage. Having a peace of mind is priceless!
 
Ah, the business end of a relationship. This is when it gets real and you find out who you’re truly involved with. As far as expenses and who pays what. I would say it’s a personal preference. However, you will find out a lot about a person if you give them a lot of leeway and don’t set boundaries.

On second thought, that sounds like a mess waiting to happen. Moving someone in with their children without marriage is a no-no. Moving someone in who doesn’t have children is a no-no before marriage. You got to have your own spot because when arguments happen, and they will happen, folks will need a “safe place” to cool down. It’s alright being over the crib for a few days at a time, but you got to raise-up and roll-out sometimes and give me a chance to miss you.
 
You mean 1 kid and 1 roommate lol

Pay your mortgage
And the water bill
And your cell bill unless y'all get on a family plan.

Half on groceries

Everything else get in where she fit in and unless the 19 is in school pursuing a degree or trade (trades can lead to good careers everybody ain't college material) the 19 year old gotta chip in

I say not if they're in school because our kids are lucky to go to school and not have a ton of other adult responsibilities to handle
 
I came back to this thread and I know I will catch a lot of flack for this, but here it goes:

Honestly, I wouldn’t ask her to pay anything. I would let her offer. If you’re rolling along and paying the mortgage and everything else included without her why would you need her to move in and start paying anything. It’s her companionship you want. Let her accumulate wealth for her children’s education being as though her deadbeat ass baby daddy ain’t doing shit. Now, if the utilities go up by a lot I would let her know and see what she does. If she doesn’t offer up anything then it’s time to kick her selfish ass to the curb. Also, a woman who holds your interest would never have to be told that she needs to help with the finances. That should go without saying. If not then you’re dealing with the wrong woman. That’s if you don’t have it like that.
 
I came back to this thread and I know I will catch a lot of flack for this, but here it goes:

Honestly, I wouldn’t ask her to pay anything. I would let her offer. If you’re rolling along and paying the mortgage and everything else included without her why would you need her to move in and start paying anything. It’s her companionship you want. Let her accumulate wealth for her children’s education being as though her deadbeat ass baby daddy ain’t doing shit. Now, if the utilities go up by a lot I would let her know and see what she does. If she doesn’t offer up anything then it’s time to kick her selfish ass to the curb. Also, a woman who holds your interest would never have to be told that she needs to help with the finances. That should go without saying. If not then you’re dealing with the wrong woman. That’s if you don’t have it like that.


Yea fam

You buggin
 
Wait she make 25k more?

Why the fuck she ain’t got her own house?

Ms, sneed pays all the bills, light, gas, water and cable net with hbo. I pay house.

We sometimes split the food, she’ll bring her stuff I don’t touch, I get stuff she don’t like.

She got a house she rents out, plus her career.

We been doin this since the day she moved in.

Only drama is the drunk shit talkin I do, passin out in all spots of the house

I got stuck pickin up dog shit, feedin them, cleanin them.

I maintain the vehicles and home, she cleans( she don’t trust maids).
 
I came back to this thread and I know I will catch a lot of flack for this, but here it goes:

Honestly, I wouldn’t ask her to pay anything. I would let her offer. If you’re rolling along and paying the mortgage and everything else included without her why would you need her to move in and start paying anything. It’s her companionship you want. Let her accumulate wealth for her children’s education being as though her deadbeat ass baby daddy ain’t doing shit. Now, if the utilities go up by a lot I would let her know and see what she does. If she doesn’t offer up anything then it’s time to kick her selfish ass to the curb. Also, a woman who holds your interest would never have to be told that she needs to help with the finances. That should go without saying. If not then you’re dealing with the wrong woman. That’s if you don’t have it like that.
Wow.... it’s a shame how pathetic men become when they don’t get women. Your response tells me that you rarely get women. Because of this, you don’t have any balls. You’re a submissive male who will let any woman take advantage of you.

You’re going to pay extra for some woman who makes 25k more than you and some other niggas kids? Negro please. Someone needs to give you a nice firm smack.

If that bitch is bringing in kids, she has to pay all utilities....PERIOD. I’ll pay the mortgage but I’ll be damned if I’m paying extra food, gas, electric, water, etc for some other niggas kids.
 
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