Marriage

[sweetiepye4]

*shaking my muthafuckin head*

Y'all talkin all this about men not doing this, grown boys not holding doors open, not opening car doors, yet have not mentioned that most thes bitches ain't worth none of that.

Let's talk about these girls that are being bred to be bitches.
Let's talk about these mothers that are ill-equipped and passing it along to the next generation.
Let's talk about these hoes w/ no direction.


And about the car door shit...thats some bullshit. Just get cho ass in the car b4 you get left! And the bitch BET NOT touch shit, no button, no switch, not nothing!

Why do they gotta be "bitches" you ask? That's a good question, I wanna know the answer too! Only they can answer.

Why do they gotta be "BITCHES"?

Darling-

I'm not talking about bitches. They don't deserve shit. I'm a woman & I understand that there are some horrible, awful chicks out there. I don't agree with them. You are right, they don't deserve shit. Treat them however the fuck you want to. Who I am talking about is real women. Unless I say bitch or whore, know that I'm not referring to the skanks who are trying to destroy everything they touch.

I know you may think we don't exists, but let me tell you we do

Relationships are a team effort-you work to make the other person happy & vice versa. If you aren't interested in doing that, then you shouldn't be there. End of story.

 

[dHustla]

Darling-

I'm not talking about bitches. They don't deserve shit. I'm a woman & I understand that there are some horrible, awful chicks out there. I don't agree with them. You are right, they don't deserve shit. Treat them however the fuck you want to. Who I am talking about is real women. Unless I say bitch or whore, know that I'm not referring to the skanks who are trying to destroy everything they touch.

I know you may think we don't exists, but let me tell you we do

Relationships are a team effort-you work to make the other person happy & vice versa. If you aren't interested in doing that, then you shouldn't be there. End of story.

OK, I digress.

 

[sweetiepye4]

the alternative for me is to have a relationship with checks and balances:

always use protection, never trust a bitch with your life.
make her pay like she weigh, she gotta carry her own weight.
Respect is a must. Respect my space (literally & figuratively), respect my word.
cook and clean, a woman's work is never done.
Know that I'm a hustla not a husband. I will never marry, and if she really loves me she wouldn't want me to compromise to the point where I'm jeopardizing everything I work/stand for.
Be seen and not heard.
Speak when spoken to.
Don't talk when men are speaking.


*ok maybe the last 3 are a stretch *

with that said, I'll do my part. take care of the yard, repairs, my half of the bills, etc. I WONT be opening car doors, though. What I look like, valet?

I could not stop laughing. Thanks for the entertainment dude. That's a great way to start the day

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like you may need a dog rather than a woman.

The first one is your personal choice-however you want to carry it. There are evil women who use kids as a way to trap you so I do believe you need to protect yourself.

The second-a real woman would not want you to be an ATM & would never let you try. That should be a sign that you may want to run, not walk away.

Third-respect is a must, but remember you must give to get!

Fourth-I'll give you the cooking & cleaning since you added the activities that you will do. Fair enough!!

Fifth-You are right in that she should not ask you to compromise what you believe in. I don't agree with the "I'm a hustla, not a husband" comment though. You should be honest in that, your life experiences have dictated that you can't fully trust another person.

No comment on the last three, well maybe just that you are out your fucking mind!!!

 

[dHustla]

I could not stop laughing. Thanks for the entertainment dude. That's a great way to start the day

Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but it seems like you may need a dog rather than a woman.

The first one is your personal choice-however you want to carry it. There are evil women who use kids as a way to trap you so I do believe you need to protect yourself.

The second-a real woman would not want you to be an ATM & would never let you try. That should be a sign that you may want to run, not walk away.

Third-respect is a must, but remember you must give to get!

Fourth-I'll give you the cooking & cleaning since you added the activities that you will do. Fair enough!!

Fifth-You are right in that she should not ask you to compromise what you believe in. I don't agree with the "I'm a hustla, not a husband" comment though. You should be honest in that, your life experiences have dictated that you can't fully trust another person.

No comment on the last three, well maybe just that you are out your fucking mind!!!

My pleasure, bay. Glad I could brighten your day a little.

Yeah, I been thinking about getting a dog... They know how to mind.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

There's alot of "if she does i will" that goes on in these discussions.

Where does it start? If i'm willing to give to you....when are you going to give to me? If he does this i'll do that....Well......Why don't you just do it? If you're with someone and you said hey i love you i'll marry you...shouldnt you already KNOW they'll do all those things you want and require anyway?

(We're not even puttin D in this conversation)

I spoke to a friend early this morning who i just found out was married for 9 years to a guy she told me she didn't even like. I said why did you get married? She said because he loved me. That's not no reason to get MARRIED. Wth?

 

[4North1Side2]

Marriage is for suckers. (coming from a happily Married Man) I will strongly advocate for my Son's not to get Married and it's just plain sheepish.

 

[4North1Side2]

Fella's don't be fooled, women can talk about all that "self-worth" bullshit but without Marriage, they ain't shit.

This is very much how i view it as well. I was PROUD to be his wife. I was PROUD to have his name written on my finger and above my kitty. i was proud to be seen with him. And be introduced to his family. I was proud when he said, "my wife." I belonged to him. And he belonged to me and we deserved each other. We were good for each other and we deserved each other and .....Yeah.

Our family was strong because we were together. What i say to women, who are single, make sure the man you're with is WORTHY. Know how much YOU'RE WORTH. You're a queen. You're an empress. a GODDESS. Walking this earthly plane. And the man who comes to you just HAS to be worthy of you. Because through you the world is born. Why wouldn't he want to be? Why would a man want to see you as less than what you are? When he makes you his wife he needs to be HIGH EXALTED. Wtf is with this "take me as i am please" Negroes we have around here?

/end rant.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Fella's don't be fooled, women can talk about all that "self-worth" bullshit but without Marriage, they ain't shit.

And why do you feel this way? Please elaborate.

 

[WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff]

Darling-

I'm not talking about bitches. They don't deserve shit. I'm a woman & I understand that there are some horrible, awful chicks out there. I don't agree with them. You are right, they don't deserve shit. Treat them however the fuck you want to. Who I am talking about is real women. Unless I say bitch or whore, know that I'm not referring to the skanks who are trying to destroy everything they touch.

I know you may think we don't exists, but let me tell you we do

Relationships are a team effort-you work to make the other person happy & vice versa. If you aren't interested in doing that, then you shouldn't be there. End of story.

I think what it is Sweet is with males they don't know how to identify real women. I think they're intimidated. I think when they really do run up on real women they make up excuses about why not her. People ask me about marriage and i tell them don't do it. Because i already know they're probably not capable of it.

And why do it? Why make that promise? Why say ANYTHING. Keep it as fuck buddies. Jump off's whatever. Why bother committing your life to someone? Why utter those WORDS??? I heard someone say it's the best way to raise chlidren.

I agree. But if you already have kids doesn't that lead to a whole nother slew of problems?

 

[bootlegga]

There's alot of "if she does i will" that goes on in these discussions.

Where does it start? If i'm willing to give to you....when are you going to give to me? If he does this i'll do that....Well......Why don't you just do it? If you're with someone and you said hey i love you i'll marry you...shouldnt you already KNOW they'll do all those things you want and require anyway?

seems like men and women are doing that to each other...


women saying they're queens and what they will/won't accept...

fellas saying what they will do/won't do...


i wonder it was like this back in the day...

 

[followup]

This is incorrect.

I don't fully trust anyone. Especially with my future :confused, my money , my health , my happiness .

My life experiences have taught me that there is no one on earth that will care about your well-being besides you.

I don't mean to tell all my biz or turn this into a pity party, but I have never had a brother, never seen my father, never been close to mother, etc..... I know what its like to feel like your mother doesn't love you. I know what it feels like to think GOD doesn't love you.... not a good feeling.

What these things have taught me is that everyone will desert you. Only death is certain. everyone made of flesh will disappoint you. You are the only person you can rely on. Unconditional love doesn't exist, people have no reason to love you with no gain to themselves. Relationships are an unnecessary risk. It is better to not trust than to give trust to someone not worthy of it.


People kill me saying that they don't wanna die alone. Everybody dies alone. What they should say is that they don't wanna live alone, and even then it's not as bad as people make it out. I love being alone! I feel free! I feel like I have nothing holding me down, no one restricting me! No other party that I am forced to stay congruent with.

whoa whoa whoa!!! Who said anything about death? I'm talking about LIVING!! Growing old together. Experiencing life with that person that shares the alot of the same dreams & goals with you. Yeah, you never really know what's in someone else's mind and heart, but what can you do? bE A HERMIT? I would be surprised if you don't have any friends that you've known for more than 5-10 years. Anyway, good luck.

 

[onyxfemme]

In our grandma and great grandma days????

HELL NAW it wasnt like this....The expectation was to get married.
I am thankful for what I learned from my grandmothers, grandfathers, mother & father.

seems like men and women are doing that to each other...


women saying they're queens and what they will/won't accept...

fellas saying what they will do/won't do...


i wonder it was like this back in the day...

 

[Retired Mizer]

Why do people do it? What's the point? in THIS day and age. Why do it? I don't get it. The traditional values aren't the same. So what new values are people supposed to do?

What do we tell our children? What do you tell them? Fall in love? Get married? Why? What benefit do you have from it?

Guys?

Ladies?

Real Talk?
I was married myself so I know, and it is overrated. What effects does marriage have on a man and for what cost?

Nowadays, cats can just shack up. Marriage use to be good because at that time,there use to be a stigma attached to fornication and living in sin, not to mention unwed pregnancy, That was definitely frowned upon up to I say the 60's and 70's to an extent.

If I could give younger brothers any advice it would be to learn all the life skills you need to survive for yourself and live by YOURSELF. Don't ever let anyone have the power of determining where ther you have a roof over your head or not! If you let a woman provide those things for you, she will also use that against you, and will throw it in your face the first chance she gets.

Men really should only need a woman for sex, affection or Love. You do not need to LEGALLY obligate yourself to a woman who will then be able to control and alter the rest of your life; socially, financially, physically,etc, just to get those things.

Kids are overrated as well. Most don't appreciate shit,are selfish and when you get old will they really be there for you like that?

Just do you: follow your goals and fuck.

Visit the website in my sig:

www.nomarriage.com

It's all clearly explained in a logical manner right there if you need convincing!

 

[Retired Mizer]

The value is not lost to everybody. I think most people who grew up in stable 2-parent homes still value marriage. For those who didn't, marriage is seen as a leash and sometimes thought to be the only way to kind of guarantee the baby's mother/father will stick around.

For me, the point of marriage is to have my life companion who I raise my children with & grow old. That's how I was raised and that's how I want my children to be raised. 2 parents, male & female. Now if I did not want children it may be a different story.

I think most men are against marriage because the terms of the deal have changed. It is no longer of any benefit to a man really.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Why do people do it? What's the point? in THIS day and age. Why do it? I don't get it. The traditional values aren't the same. So what new values are people supposed to do?

What do we tell our children? What do you tell them? Fall in love? Get married? Why? What benefit do you have from it?

Guys?

Ladies?

The traditional values aren't much different now than any other time, it's the mentality of people that's changed (shit, even gay people want to get married). Everybody (generally speaking) wants a nice family and a happy marriage but few people really want to work at it and, at this point, many of us have poor role models to show us how to do it. It's like the old saying "Everybody wants to go to heaven but no one wants to die."
Couples used to stay together because they had to but without that incentive, an upset spouse is less likely to tolerate their partner's negative traits.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

I think most men are against marriage because the terms of the deal have changed. It is no longer of ant benefit to a man really.

Except married men live longer, make more money, have more sex and are healthier than their single counterparts, you're right, there are no benefits.

 

[followup]

I think most men are against marriage because the terms of the deal have changed. It is no longer of ant benefit to a man really.

depends on what type of woman a man is with same goes for women

 

[Upgrade Dave]

seems like men and women are doing that to each other...


women saying they're queens and what they will/won't accept...

fellas saying what they will do/won't do...


i wonder it was like this back in the day...

Hell no. A woman wasn't in the position to tell her husband what she would or would not put up with. Even if she worked (as most Black women did), she does menial work for little pay and needs her husband's paycheck. How are you going to tell the person feeding you what you will tolerate?

 

[Retired Mizer]

Darling-

I'm not talking about bitches. They don't deserve shit. I'm a woman & I understand that there are some horrible, awful chicks out there. I don't agree with them. You are right, they don't deserve shit. Treat them however the fuck you want to. Who I am talking about is real women. Unless I say bitch or whore, know that I'm not referring to the skanks who are trying to destroy everything they touch.

I know you may think we don't exists, but let me tell you we do

Relationships are a team effort-you work to make the other person happy & vice versa. If you aren't interested in doing that, then you shouldn't be there. End of story.

This is the crux of the problem: The terms of male-female relationship and by extension, marriage, HAVE CHANGED.

This applies not only to black on black relationships, but those of all races where the woman have been so-called "Americanized."

We all know the drill: A man should men hold doors open, buy dinners & drinks, when today's female is no longer the delicate helpless, uneducated, non- working wives and mother's that they were back then. Many females today are making money and have excellent careers. They literally do not need a man to do those things for them.

Todays woman purposely does NOT fill the traditional marital roles as women did in the past as I mentioned earlier. Some may say, "women still do fulfill the traditional marital roles," but facts are, NOT MANY would do it unconditionally.

Surprisingly, there are no preconditions allowed by females in most cases, when a man is told to "Be a REAL man," and has to lead by example; provide for his wife and family, as well as, love and honor his queen. Even if a man DOES those things, she still retains the right to remain unwilling to submit without conditions first.

Women will never NOT let you know how independent they are and how much they have, YET they selfishly still insist on a man to provide for them while they will not cook for him , clean for him, love and cater to her man unconditionally at his will, and most of all, SUBMIT without pre-condition.

TODAY'S marriage is not worth it young brothers!

 

[Retired Mizer]

depends on what type of woman a man is with same goes for women

I don't agree that it depends on the type of woman.
I'd venture to say most, if not all women, have a post- sexual/ feminist-revolution view of modern marriage, and last I checked,todays divorce and child custody laws apply to ALL women, not just those of a certain type that a man may choose.

 

[Retired Mizer]

Except married men live longer, make more money, have more sex and are healthier than their single counterparts, you're right, there are no benefits.

Live longer because she INSIST you go to the doctor. I personally don't need a female to do that for me as I know the importance and I go on my own. Secondly, what good is money when it all isn't yours? It is basically under her control (modern marriage) and if you do not do with it as she desires, then you will have problems. How well will it sit with you that sad, melancholy day when your 49-50 years old and she tells you she wants a divorce, and you have nothing?

Imagine that is you: that assed-out, broken man who's now alone after having relied on someone else to do almost everything for you? Personally, thats too much control of my life and destiny to just hand over to someone who gains EVERYTHING when it doesn't work out, while I LOSE?

Coincidently, I do NOT see women lobbying the courts to change divorce and child custody laws do you? No, what I do see is many schemes to use the law to their benefit at the man's expense. Why don't ALL women who desire marriage insist on mandatory pren-ups to show their desire to marry just for love?????

The divorce rate is like 50%
Do you brother.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Women will never NOT let you know how independent they are and how much they have, YET they selfishly still insist on a man to provide for them while they will not cook for him , clean for him, love and cater to her man unconditionally at his will, and most of all, SUBMIT without pre-condition.

TODAY'S marriage is not worth it young brothers!

Except for the "love unconditionally part" (the adults among us who live in the real world dismissed that as imaginary in another thread), if you can't get your woman to do those things for you, you either have failed in some major ways or picked a loser.
There is no such thing as "submitting without pre-conditions". There are always conditions and a wife should never submit to a husband she feels doesn't deserve it.

Live longer because she INSIST you go to the doctor. I personally don't need a female to do that for me as I know the importance and I go on my own. Secondly, what good is money when it all isn't yours? It is basically under her control (modern marriage) and if you do not do with it as she desires, then you will have problems. How well will it sit with you that sad, melancholy day when your 49-50 years old and she tells you she wants a divorce, and you have nothing?

Imagine that is you: that assed-out, broken man who's now alone after having relied on someone else to do almost everything for you? Personally, thats too much control of my life and destiny to just hand over to someone who gains EVERYTHING when it doesn't work out, while I LOSE?

Coincidently, I do NOT see women lobbying the courts to change divorce and child custody laws do you? No, what I do see is many schemes to use the law to their benefit at the man's expense. Why don't ALL women who desire marriage insist on mandatory pren-ups to show their desire to marry just for love?????

The divorce rate is like 50%
Do you brother.

Wow. You really got your feelings hurt, huh? I feel for you, brother.

 

[Retired Mizer]

Hell no. A woman wasn't in the position to tell her husband what she would or would not put up with. Even if she worked (as most Black women did), she does menial work for little pay and needs her husband's paycheck. How are you going to tell the person feeding you what you will tolerate?

Question: While TODAYS female's, gender and marital roles have changed and evolved (for the better mind you) due to gender equality, then why is it TODAYS male's, gender AND marital authority have DIMINISHED from all ways masculine, while that same man's divorce and custody penalization stays the SAME antiquated way?

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Question: While TODAYS female's, gender and marital roles have changed and evolved (for the better mind you) due to gender equality, then why is it TODAYS male's, gender AND marital authority have DIMINISHED from all ways masculine, while that same man's divorce and custody penalization stays the SAME antiquated way?

The only thing that hasn't changed is the way men think. It's our adjustment that's been lacking. Women do try to play both roles but we can control what we do. Many men continue to act timid when it comes to the court and don't engage while women do so vigorously. I say that knowing there's still some discrimination when it comes to fathers and custody but it's not like the majority of fathers ask for it in the first place.

 

[Retired Mizer]

Except for the "love unconditionally part" (the adults among us who live in the real world dismissed that as imaginary in another thread), if you can't get your woman to do those things for you, you either have failed in some major ways or picked a loser.
There is no such thing as "submitting without pre-conditions". There are always conditions and a wife should never submit to a husband she feels doesn't deserve it.



Wow. You really got your feelings hurt, huh? I feel for you, brother.

Go ahead and preen them feathers for the hens, brother!

"Adults"? You got a chuckle out of me Mr Upgrade Dave. Adults, in the real world, as if it is indicative of the "correct-reasonable" opinion,eh? ?? Ha-Ha! Reasonable for who? You? Or the woman?

Concern yourself not with my feelings, as I not the man singing the marital praises, but I am concerned about you. Your level of sarcasm indicates to me that you are personally invested in this to confront me as you did. I simply gave the facts. I stand by all that I said, and your sideways talk doesn't mean I am wrong, It means to me that YOU do not get it.

No disrespect, you've just been trained like a puppy, you don't know any better.

Just remember what I have said when your day comes (and it surely will) when "Mrs Dave" decides to upgrades UP from you, Mr. "Upgrade Dave"

 

[Retired Mizer]

The only thing that hasn't changed is the way men think. It's our adjustment that's been lacking. Women do try to play both roles but we can control what we do. Many men continue to act timid when it comes to the court and don't engage while women do so vigorously. I say that knowing there's still some discrimination when it comes to fathers and custody but it's not like the majority of fathers ask for it in the first place.

And you attack me for my choice as a man to NOT compromise and ALLOW a woman to dictate the rules to me, when I already have a bible that tells me them?

You are permissive of the hypocrisy,and willingly sweep it under the rug,while they remain stringent, and steadfast in their demands of men?

OK, I get it now!
Thanks, "Dave"

 

[M.H.C.]

Marriage is now used as a deterrence for promiscuous lifestyles, money, status, etc. All of which are not solid foundations for a good healthy marriage. Marriage is ideal for those who have a solid understanding on relationships, monogamy, family, and how to make them work. Many people lack this knowledge and try to jump into marriage and later comes a divorce.


Why NOT marry? If you find that one that you truly love and I do mean truly, why not build a life together? When I look at the elders in my family I can not help but admire the fact that they bore the burden of holding an entire family together. How did they do that? By sustaining a solid relationship with their spouses and being the shining example of what a family is about. So many family histories would be obscured and scattered and lacking the respect and dignity that they hold now if our elders shared the same mentality towards marriage as we do today.

And why would you not encourage your offspring to marry? Why would you want to lead a life of uncertainty in this oversexed society? Especially a daughter. Telling her that can lead her to believe that a life of promiscuity is acceptable. Laurence Fishbourne would disagree.

Marriage isn't for everybody but if people grew up with strong familial ties and in a two parent home then they would value the sanctity of marriage and family.

 

[Upgrade Dave]

Go ahead and preen them feathers for the hens, brother!

"Adults"? You got a chuckle out of me Mr Upgrade Dave. Adults, in the real world, as if it is indicative of the "correct-reasonable" opinion,eh? ?? Ha-Ha! Reasonable for who? You? Or the woman?

No, reasonable for realistic adults who have a reasonable, realistic chance of having a good and happy marriage. Anyone who subscribes to the "unconditional love" myth is setting themselves up for failure and heartache.

Concern yourself not with my feelings, as I not the man singing the marital praises, but I am concerned about you. Your level of sarcasm indicates to me that you are personally invested in this to confront me as you did. I simply gave the facts. I stand by all that I said, and your sideways talk doesn't mean I am wrong, It means to me that YOU do not get it.

You actually didn't give too many facts but your own opinions based on, I assume, your experiences and biases. What I said about more sex, money, and a longer healthier life, those were facts.
Somehow I think it's safe to say if you were still in a satisfactory marriage, you would be singing a different tune.

No disrespect, you've just been trained like a puppy, you don't know any better.

Just remember what I have said when your day comes (and it surely will) when "Mrs Dave" decides to upgrades UP from you, Mr. "Upgrade Dave"

Lines like that remind me that you folks don't actually know me. The one thing I can't be is "trained", often to my own detriment.
If my wife wanted to "upgrade" from me, I've given her plenty of opportunities and reason. At this point of my own maturity, if she hasn't left yet, she's here to stay.

And you attack me for my choice as a man to NOT compromise and ALLOW a woman to dictate the rules to me, when I already have a bible that tells me them?

You are permissive of the hypocrisy,and willingly sweep it under the rug,while they remain stringent, and steadfast in their demands of men?

OK, I get it now!
Thanks, "Dave"

That same Bible doesn't say anything about you're woman submitting "unconditionally". Try again.
See my marriage, for it's flaws, is much more biblically minded--I take care of my woman and she takes care of me. I have the last word on most major decisions but her input is important and if she's right, she's right and I'd be a fool just to do something when I can see it's wrong.
I won't pass judgement but if you were like this before your wife left you, she had the right idea.

 

[Retired Mizer]

... if she hasn't left yet, she's here to stay.

You think?

 

[followup]

I don't agree that it depends on the type of woman.
I'd venture to say most, if not all women, have a post- sexual/ feminist-revolution view of modern marriage, and last I checked,todays divorce and child custody laws apply to ALL women, not just those of a certain type that a man may choose.

because you've met and know ALL women, right? The divorce rates do not apply to the community I come from and there are plenty like it. When it comes to relationships, we should stay away from generalizations and assuming what the other gender wants/needs/values. Times change and societal expectations/norms change. To think that women will stay the same generation after generation when our responsibilities change is foolish. But good luck to ya Nice to get an idea of what is going through the minds of some men. Shows that young women are up against something they have no idea about.

 

[followup]

Marriage is now used as a deterrence for promiscuous lifestyles, money, status, etc. All of which are not solid foundations for a good healthy marriage. Marriage is ideal for those who have a solid understanding on relationships, monogamy, family, and how to make them work. Many people lack this knowledge and try to jump into marriage and later comes a divorce.


Why NOT marry? If you find that one that you truly love and I do mean truly, why not build a life together? When I look at the elders in my family I can not help but admire the fact that they bore the burden of holding an entire family together. How did they do that? By sustaining a solid relationship with their spouses and being the shining example of what a family is about. So many family histories would be obscured and scattered and lacking the respect and dignity that they hold now if our elders shared the same mentality towards marriage as we do today.

And why would you not encourage your offspring to marry? Why would you want to lead a life of uncertainty in this oversexed society? Especially a daughter. Telling her that can lead her to believe that a life of promiscuity is acceptable. Laurence Fishbourne would disagree.

Marriage isn't for everybody but if people grew up with strong familial ties and in a two parent home then they would value the sanctity of marriage and family.

I agree. Hard to see the benefits of it, if you were not raised like that. Unfortunately, out of the people I know with broken homes, I can not name one whose parents BOTH participated as much in their life. Usually the burden fell on the mother to raise the child, or even the grandmother. The father's influence was limited to mostly financial and if lucky, visits during the summer. This is not the way for a child to be raised, lacking a stable father figure and both sides of his/her family. Shit happens, but if you can avoid it, why wouldn't you?

 

[Upgrade Dave]

You think?

You either, mistakenly, figure I will make as big a mess of my relationship as you did (I've tried) or you figure I picked as poorly as you did (I picked very well).

If the divorce rate is around 50% and you are no longer married, I'll stay married just to maintain cosmic entropy.

Don't use your broad brush of pain on the entire institution. You are no different than some bitter, raving bitch that chases away any decent man with her attitude then blames men for not being "real men" (another thread referenced).

 

[Retired Mizer]

because you've met and know ALL women, right? The divorce rates do not apply to the community I come from and there are plenty like it. When it comes to relationships, we should stay away from generalizations and assuming what the other gender wants/needs/values. Times change and societal expectations/norms change. To think that women will stay the same generation after generation when our responsibilities change is foolish. But good luck to ya Nice to get an idea of what is going through the minds of some men. Shows that young women are up against something they have no idea about.

Why not? You are generalizing out of one side of your own mouth, as you also inaccurately blame me for doing it out of the other side of it.

Now your whole town may NOT be getting divorced, but that doesn't change America's national divorce rates, ma'am.

While you accurately acknowledged that everyone obviously changes over time, including women, and because of that you conclude, that women reserve the right to change and alter the marital arrangement due to their whim,correct?

Then does that mean that men can decide that monogamy doesn't work for them in TODAYS marriage and they CAN DECIDE to include monthly "new ass passes" to allow him to get some fresh stuff,to keep him from getting bored and moving on.
How about that for a change, eh?

Why are there no comments from you concerning UPDATING the country's laws concerning parental rights, child custody and spousal support since we all have "grown" and changed" from the days when these antiquated rules were still necessary????

Nice to see females are still as hypocritical as I know them to be. What is unfortunate however is that there are still SOME misguided, men are just as gullible to fall for the bs-hook,line,and sinker!

Originally Posted by clarkekent3000 View Post
I don't agree that it depends on the type of woman.
I'd venture to say most, if not all women, have a post- sexual/ feminist-revolution view of modern marriage, and last I checked,todays divorce and child custody laws apply to ALL women, not just those of a certain type that a man may choose.

 

[followup]

a community is different from a town (look it up)... and it is impossible for me to geberalize about facts it's ok. we can agree to disagree.

 

[dHustla]

Except for the "love unconditionally part" (the adults among us who live in the real world dismissed that as imaginary in another thread), if you can't get your woman to do those things for you, you either have failed in some major ways or picked a loser.
There is no such thing as "submitting without pre-conditions". There are always conditions and a wife should never submit to a husband she feels doesn't deserve it.

That a shot @ me Dave?

Jerk.

Wow. You really got your feelings hurt, huh? I feel for you, brother.

Where did he talk about feelings? How does that even fit in with this discussion?