I think that was a shot @ me
Marriage
- Thread starter WhenTheGoingGetsTtuff
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I think that was a shot @ me
First paragraph, I agree, not everyone has an accurate understanding of what it takes to sustain a relationship.
Second paragraph, you ask "why not marry?" Because the risks outweigh the benefits. You talk of building a life together, can this not be done without a marriage certificate? Can a relationship not be solid without being recognized by the state, the state created and run by the people?
My point is, when you get married your relationship is held to standards that you may not have agreed on. And if/when it goes south, men are often the defeated ones in the situation.
I see nothing wrong with having a lady, even building a family without living by someone else's standards.
Example, Legacy_Infinity says that she has been a swinger for years. She met her husband and he was ok with this. They both engaged in this lifestyle. Now, let's reverse the roles in that situation. Let's say the husband was the swinger for years, and he meets his wife, marry, and they build a family together. They both engage in this lifestyle. Until one day things go sour and the relationship is crumbling. She gets vindictive, she wants alimony, she wants custody, she wants child support, she wants the house, she wants the suv and his sports car. To get her way, she's willing to pull out all the stops. She's willing to say that the lifestyle that they both engaged in was all his idea and that he cheated on her. She cries that his swinging lifestyle was nothing more than infidelity...
He loses. He loses the house, custody, the SUV, his sports car (which she sells for $10k less than what its worth), 73% of his income goes to her in alimony, child support, spousal support, lawyer fees, her lawyer fees.
Now, lets look at this situation analytically.
Most of the things he lost that I listed are material things, monetary wealth, but let's talk about what's behind all that.
He loses his family for which he worked hard to sustain, provide for, and protect. This is something that is immeasurable.
Also, he loses his child(ren), for which he worked hard at raising and being the best father he could be. He did his very best at instilling all the qualities that he possibly could into them in hopes that they grow to teeming adults full of potential that he can be proud of. He won't be there to spend the quality time that he would if he had them under his roof. He will miss out on some of those special moments in their growing up.
Most of all he loses control over his life. Although many won't admit it, wealth contributes to ones growth and progress in the world in which we live. Ask yourselves, can you live off of 27% of what you make today? If one year from now, GOD forbid, something catastrophic happened in your life and you had to live off of 27% of your current income, could you do that? Comfortably?
This also doesn't convey the emotional and psychological toll that something like this has on a man. Without going into it.... I imagine it can be monumental. It can be enough to break a man (no pun intended).
With all that said.... it's too much to risk considering the gain and/or the benefits.
Just have a relationship, and no paperwork. All you really need is someone that is as committed as you are. Committed relationship = marriage.
*wonders what Dave's wife looks like*
*Damn, I hope he doesn't take that the wrong way, he already gave me a black eye and a bruised rib*
*I think I'ma hafta run*
Exactly what I was hoping to hear. I was kind of worried.
Marriage is a big risk especially considering how people operate in today's society. It's hard to trust especially when paperwork is involved. I respect your point of view.
whoa whoa whoa!!! Who said anything about death? I'm talking about LIVING!! Growing old together. Experiencing life with that person that shares the alot of the same dreams & goals with you. Yeah, you never really know what's in someone else's mind and heart, but what can you do? bE A HERMIT? I would be surprised if you don't have any friends that you've known for more than 5-10 years. Anyway, good luck.
Growing old and sitting on the porch watching our grandkids and going traveling together was a goal for me and hubby.
I see your point. And i thank you for your discourse in this thread. Your opinion is the type of thing i wanted to see. Something i wondered about because i honestly am beginning to see it your way as well. You and Dhustla.
I didn't come from a good home. I met my husband when i was a young girl. And from the time we met he's been taking care of me, and i him. When we got together, he said my best quality to him was that my promises MEAN something. When i say it. I mean it. If i make a promise it's my bond. And he was a man who was the same way. We said "till death do us part". Means that. No divorce. We take it and we fight it and struggle with it. Until 1 of us goes.
I didn't work, i did all those traditional wifely things. I cooked, cleaned birthed children for him like they were going out of style. I made his home a place of peace and relaxtion.
I don't see hardly any women like myself. And i don't see how a relationship can work. If it's not like mine. Or similar. I believe anything not like mine? Is going to be flawed. It's ....I even will say it's unnatural. As a woman i am made to submit to my husband. He's my mate. The male of the species. It's in him to dominate and subdue. WITH REVERENCE. And appreciation for me. He adored me. He cherished me. He protected me.
I believe it's just in a woman's nature to want her man to be that way. I believe women want their men to be providers. If you're not the provider in the family? (this gonna get me in trouble)..... But if you're not the provider in the family i don't believe that.......You really have the right to be respected
. I understand that the economic effects of the world today have just ....i mean all the way back to slavery...It's messed up black relationships SO BADLY. But someone said before in another thread. With knowledge there are no more excuses.I just don't see how it works. How am i to respect you as a man when i'm paying the bills? It wasn't like this in our grandparents and great grandparents time because MEN worked. They provided for their families and that's just how it is. On GoodTimes James Evans went out and did everything he could to find work. To provide for his fmaily. He traveled around. Worked in different states. To provide for his family. Florida worked too. But their base was that of a tradtional family. He was the primary provider. She was support.
This is how relationships to me....are supposed to work. I believe relationships, marriages in this day and time are broken because of this. And i think women......have been suppressing this. They've been supressing this gnawing in their guts for decades now. And it's just swelling to all of this just BILE that comes from the sexes now. All this "i don't need a man" Stuff is a desperate cry saying, YES I DO! WHERE ARE YOU?! WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME?!
And our men have not heeded the call. Why? I mean econcomics? Institutionalized racism? Who knows. Some of everything man. Where are our MEN? Where are our HUSBANDS?
My love and belief and faith in my husband was a religious fervor. My trust in him was that akin to how these christians believe in jesus. I had ABSOLUTE faith in him at ALL times. The only time in all of our years together did he let me down is when he died on me. And that's not anything he could help. That was genetic and hereditary. His body couldn't cope anymore.
I believed in him. Anything that happened? he could handle. I knew it. He said don't worry about it? I didn't. He had it. He said i got this? Ok. Fine. I believe you. And i'll be damned if he didn't make everything he ever said come to fruition. This is how marriage is to me. I don't believe that how it goes today? It's unbalanced. And without balance it's always going to be uneven and wobbly. And is prone to shake and fall off. Break. Shatter.
I can see your point. The potential for loss is devastating to a man. ONE question though. have you ever thought about what it's like for a woman?
Men generally experience pain and anguish through their wallets. What they have GAINED or could GAIN. Where as women experience pain much more emotionally
Emotions have no equitable value in the world in which we live.
Your feelings hurt? SO WHAT, BITCH! PULL YOUR PANTIES UP AND FIX YA FACE!
*Not calling you a bitch, LI. Just saying, this is what goes through my mind.*
I see your point. And i thank you for your discourse in this thread. Your opinion is the type of thing i wanted to see. Something i wondered about because i honestly am beginning to see it your way as well. You and Dhustla.
I didn't come from a good home. I met my husband when i was a young girl. And from the time we met he's been taking care of me, and i him. When we got together, he said my best quality to him was that my promises MEAN something. When i say it. I mean it. If i make a promise it's my bond. And he was a man who was the same way. We said "till death do us part". Means that. No divorce. We take it and we fight it and struggle with it. Until 1 of us goes.
I didn't work, i did all those traditional wifely things. I cooked, cleaned birthed children for him like they were going out of style. I made his home a place of peace and relaxtion.
I don't see hardly any women like myself. And i don't see how a relationship can work. If it's not like mine. Or similar. I believe anything not like mine? Is going to be flawed. It's ....I even will say it's unnatural. As a woman i am made to submit to my husband. He's my mate. The male of the species. It's in him to dominate and subdue. WITH REVERENCE. And appreciation for me. He adored me. He cherished me. He protected me.
I believe it's just in a woman's nature to want her man to be that way. I believe women want their men to be providers. If you're not the provider in the family? (this gonna get me in trouble)..... But if you're not the provider in the family i don't believe that.......You really have the right to be respected
I just don't see how it works. How am i to respect you as a man when i'm paying the bills? It wasn't like this in our grandparents and great grandparents time because MEN worked. They provided for their families and that's just how it is. On GoodTimes James Evans went out and did everything he could to find work. To provide for his fmaily. He traveled around. Worked in different states. To provide for his family. Florida worked too. But their base was that of a tradtional family. He was the primary provider. She was support.
This is how relationships to me....are supposed to work. I believe relationships, marriages in this day and time are broken because of this. And i think women......have been suppressing this. They've been supressing this gnawing in their guts for decades now. And it's just swelling to all of this just BILE that comes from the sexes now. All this "i don't need a man" Stuff is a desperate cry saying, YES I DO! WHERE ARE YOU?! WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED ME?!
And our men have not heeded the call. Why? I mean econcomics? Institutionalized racism? Who knows. Some of everything man. Where are our MEN? Where are our HUSBANDS?
My love and belief and faith in my husband was a religious fervor. My trust in him was that akin to how these christians believe in jesus. I had ABSOLUTE faith in him at ALL times. The only time in all of our years together did he let me down is when he died on me. And that's not anything he could help. That was genetic and hereditary. His body couldn't cope anymore.
I believed in him. Anything that happened? he could handle. I knew it. He said don't worry about it? I didn't. He had it. He said i got this? Ok. Fine. I believe you. And i'll be damned if he didn't make everything he ever said come to fruition. This is how marriage is to me. I don't believe that how it goes today? It's unbalanced. And without balance it's always going to be uneven and wobbly. And is prone to shake and fall off. Break. Shatter.
First, let me say that I enjoy these exchanges we have, LI. I appreciate your honest and open approach.
Now, the bold above resonates with me. I'm going to break it down for you.
You do know that the black man is considered a threat by every demographic in this country, right?
-white males are afraid that we'll overpower them physically, rob them, manipulate them, take advantage
-white females are afraid that we'll rape them, emotionally abuse them, psychologically manipulate them,
-black women fear the same as white women only with a little more compassion because of common ground
-other black men fear their own kind. They are insecure about their ability to defend themselves, about their earning potential, about their looks, about their status in society (worth placed on them by the rest of the world)
-asian men are little beings.
The big dick thing is reason enough for them to be threatened by us, they think we'll woo their women from them.Now put a black man in any kind of work environment and see what transpires. Even when applying for a gig the business world wants the emasculate the black man, they want him to take the bass out his voice. It makes them feel more comfortable. If he has a limp wrist the black man is less of a threat and more socially acceptable.
All this takes its toll on the black man and his position in his family. I said all that to point out that the playing field is not level and you should not base whether or not a man deserves respect on his earning potential or ability to provide. Mainly because with all things equal if a black man and a black woman go after the same gig, they both get it, they will have completely different hurdles to clear in sustaining the job. It's easier for a woman, of any race to get by in the business world.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not making excuses at all, only addressing that there are other factors that play a part here. You touched on it a little yourself.
I think a disproportionate about of brothers have the best intentions and put effort forth to make good on these intentions but succumb to the weight of the world on them and become broken-spirited. It ain't easy to be shitted on at every corner you turn and still push on.
Emotions have no equitable value in the world in which we live.
Your feelings hurt? SO WHAT, BITCH! PULL YOUR PANTIES UP AND FIX YA FACE!
*Not calling you a bitch, LI. Just saying, this is what goes through my mind.*
Yeah it's already been established how you think of women though.
I understand. But why do we have to take these broken pieces? Accept them? Your sight on this issue seems to be very 1 sided.First, let me say that I enjoy these exchanges we have, LI. I appreciate your honest and open approach.
Now, the bold above resonates with me. I'm going to break it down for you.
You do know that the black man is considered a threat by every demographic in this country, right? I was married to 1 for years. I know quite a bit about black men
-white males are afraid that we'll overpower them physically, rob them, manipulate them, take advantage
-white females are afraid that we'll rape them, emotionally abuse them, psychologically manipulate them,
-black women fear the same as white women only with a little more compassion because of common ground
-other black men fear their own kind. They are insecure about their ability to defend themselves, about their earning potential, about their looks, about their status in society (worth placed on them by the rest of the world)
-asian men are little beings.
Now put a black man in any kind of work environment and see what transpires. Even when applying for a gig the business world wants the emasculate the black man, they want him to take the bass out his voice. It makes them feel more comfortable. If he has a limp wrist the black man is less of a threat and more socially acceptable.
All this takes its toll on the black man and his position in his family. I said all that to point out that the playing field is not level and you should not base whether or not a man deserves respect on his earning potential or ability to provide. Mainly because with all things equal if a black man and a black woman go after the same gig, they both get it, they will have completely different hurdles to clear in sustaining the job. It's easier for a woman, of any race to get by in the business world.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not making excuses at all, only addressing that there are other factors that play a part here. You touched on it a little yourself. The trap here. IS you guys often want everyone to look at yoru downfalls. And accept them And make allowances. Without looking at others. Everyone has obstacles. Hurdles and peaks to overcome. EVERYONE. Why does the black man get any passes when he himself is not prone to give anything
I think a disproportionate about of brothers have the best intentions and put effort forth to make good on these intentions but succumb to the weight of the world on them and become broken-spirited. It ain't easy to be shitted on at every corner you turn and still push on.
OUCH!
Dang, don't hold no punches, eh?
It wasn't said to insult. I'm sorry. I said it merely to say you've said how you felt about women. I don't expect much, kindness, love or consideration for black women.
I'm not saying accept "broken pieces". Just take all things into consideration. I don't make excuses, I make a way.
When I couldn't find a job, I made my job.
When financial aid wouldn't give me a dime for school, I made my own tuition money in the street.
I always do my best, or at least I try. And sometimes I still come up short. It is what it is.
This was my husbands goal. He was a really different type of man to me. If there wasn't a way, make a way was his motto. He would sacrifice great things of himself for his family. For our survival. We had gone through some really hard times. And he never stopped. He never showed how down he was. He never once blinked. His focus and determination to me was epic and legendary. When something didn't work he found a way to make it work. He taught me this. He taught me to be strong and unwavering.
I see most men giving excuses these days. I don't see the courage or determination. I never have really. It's what i mean when i talk about marriage in this day and age with other people. With males. How do you entertain the thought? But then i do have remind myself that everything is broken now. And people have to deal with it the best they can.
What are the new rules for marriage? How many times does 1 get to cheat? How many months can 1 not work? Till death do us part should be taken out of vows?
Together forever for now? As long as this thing lasts?
That a shot @ me Dave?
Jerk.
Where did he talk about feelings? How does that even fit in with this discussion?
No, it was not meant as a shot at you. I had forgotten most of that thread until he brought up "unconditional love". Last I was there, me and LI were the last ones there.
He doesn't talk about his feelings, he just expresses everything through a lense of pain that doesn't take into the equation that maybe it's not "marriage" that's jacked up but his own that was flawed, through either his fault or his former wife's.
Don't be like that, D. I try to be clear when I'm taking shots at people. I'd have mentioned you by name in one of those posts.She's bad, bruh. Beautiful woman, inside and out. I can be sick of her ass just like I know when she's had enough Upgrade Dave as she can handle but we've seen what life offers without each other and we prefer going through it together.
Halo
You know I think you're a lunatic but I wish you well. As long as you're going in with both eyes open, you should be good.
There are no new rules, just new conditions. Cheating didn't just start twenty years ago and even today more people get divorced over financial issues than adultery.
As long as this society values instant gratification, we'll always have a high divorce rate. We live in a society where every thing is disposable, so why would marriage be any different?
What difference does shacking up buy you? Its effectively the same thing - especially if you bring children into the equation. When things go wrong and you decide to break it off/move out, the net result is still the same! (minus the alimony of course). Years lost, trust broken, resentment & war, kids split between households.
My question is:
If marriage/shacking doesn't work, what's the alternative?
Polyamory? Serial mid-term dating?
What about kids and the family structure? Why does it need to stay intact? Why does it have to be defined as one mother, one father, and children?
Could something like shared/inherited parenting work?
(Is it just me or is this font tiny?)
My question is:
If marriage/shacking doesn't work, what's the alternative?
Polyamory? Serial mid-term dating?
What about kids and the family structure? Why does it need to stay intact? Why does it have to be defined as one mother, one father, and children?
Could something like shared/inherited parenting work?
(Is it just me or is this font tiny?)
Honestly i believe christianity messed up everything. Monogamy and all that is not in human's nature. My family was/is a polyamorous 1. And it works.
Okay but what are your views on stability as it relates to monogamy vs polygamy? Can the same amount of stability be attained with in polyamorous relationships as with monogamous ones or do you even attribute monogamous relationships to the success of well kept traditional two parent homes?
Hope this makes sense.
A monogamous marriage and poly marriage can be just as stable. It depends on the people involved and how they gameplan.M.H.C. said:
We used a what we call a natural plan with the children. Our relationship. I don't advocate this for most people. It takes a really non american view of relationships and things like that to make this type of relationship to work i believe. The children recognize us both as "mothers". If that's what you're asking. There's always someone around to observe them. We live in a neighborhood with grandparents, 2 aunts and a uncle all on the same street. We consider it our village.
There's no in and out with boyfriends or girlfirends. The kids know who's going to be here everyday. Who picks them up from school. Who to call when something is needed at school. Who cooks their dinner and makes their breakfasts.
Rick Ronson
Banned
its a beautiful thing if you do it right is all i can say
A solid marriage is also also something to be proud of these days.
Its not for everyone but some people dont realize until its too late.
If you cant keep a mate for more than 4-5 years aint no sense in you trying to get married tho.
Many women know they cant keep a man for more than a year or two but get married knowing this.
A solid marriage is also also something to be proud of these days.
Its not for everyone but some people dont realize until its too late.
If you cant keep a mate for more than 4-5 years aint no sense in you trying to get married tho.
Many women know they cant keep a man for more than a year or two but get married knowing this.
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Rick Ronson
Banned
The sad part is all the extremely beautiful lonely women on Facebook and dating sites.
That make up sayings and what not...sounding lonely...shit like this
Now you can listen to this shit and tell she gets men but they lose interest
in her shit...I dont know if this is the common routine or what but when i
dated..I remember there being a code ...like you couldnt show too much
affection or you couldnt be too nice to them or you would end up in a poor
position getting run over... I just looked for someone who i could be nice
to and wouldnt TRY to run over me. Im naturally affectionate.some women
thats a no-no cause they will straight take advantage of your ass.
Those are the ones who deserve to be alone eternally.
Ive encountered a few of them in my travels...
them bitches on my facebook too just so i can see the lonley shit they be typing
I smile but i never forget how people treat me and im always interested
in that persons path.
Dont kill yourself over the shit....it really takes some bending for women
many refuse to bend or stuck on my way or the highway status so long
that they are hard to deal with for extended periods of time.
I wish i had advice for women but i swear to me it seems like yall have it
easy as fuck. 10 offers a day at least if you look good. Its like conducting
a job interview for you all....As opposed to men we have to be sharp and
impressive.. Most men dont even require yall to be smart or have a career
or nice things like a car or house already. An ass and some titties will get
you in the door.
Now how you can fuck that up........i dont know
regardless ladies dont be sounding all sad and lonley on your facebook pages.
The shit is sad.
That make up sayings and what not...sounding lonely...shit like this
Now you can listen to this shit and tell she gets men but they lose interest
in her shit...I dont know if this is the common routine or what but when i
dated..I remember there being a code ...like you couldnt show too much
affection or you couldnt be too nice to them or you would end up in a poor
position getting run over... I just looked for someone who i could be nice
to and wouldnt TRY to run over me. Im naturally affectionate.some women
thats a no-no cause they will straight take advantage of your ass.
Those are the ones who deserve to be alone eternally.
Ive encountered a few of them in my travels...
them bitches on my facebook too just so i can see the lonley shit they be typing
I smile but i never forget how people treat me and im always interested
in that persons path.
Dont kill yourself over the shit....it really takes some bending for women
many refuse to bend or stuck on my way or the highway status so long
that they are hard to deal with for extended periods of time.
I wish i had advice for women but i swear to me it seems like yall have it
easy as fuck. 10 offers a day at least if you look good. Its like conducting
a job interview for you all....As opposed to men we have to be sharp and
impressive.. Most men dont even require yall to be smart or have a career
or nice things like a car or house already. An ass and some titties will get
you in the door.
Now how you can fuck that up........i dont know
regardless ladies dont be sounding all sad and lonley on your facebook pages.
The shit is sad.
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People mess marriage up, not Christianity.
I keep seeing/hearing people saying "monogamy isn't human nature". So? There's a lot of stuff we do that goes against human nature, like nurturing children until they're 18 (or later) but we still do it. We're not beasts, we make conscious decisions. If one of those is to be in a monogamous relationship or a polyamorous one, we're still making commitments to another adult that needs to be taken seriously or not made at all.
its a beautiful thing if you do it right is all i can say
A solid marriage is also also something to be proud of these days.
Its not for everyone but some people dont realize until its too late.
If you cant keep a mate for more than 4-5 years aint no sense in you trying to get married tho.
Same goes for "make up to break up" couples. They should never get married.
I totally disagree that Christianity messed up everything as well as Monogamy 'not' being human nature. Human's are creatures of habit meaning, something has to be tried before it becomes a habit... I have a friend who went through adolescence a virgin, got married as a virgin, both him and his wife. Now while this is definitely a rare occurrence, it has happened. Since he never developed the 'taste' for different varieties of women, etc. and his wife was his only experience, he, even though he finds other women attractive, doesn't have the animalistic self control issues a lot of other 'men' who have been on their sexual grind for years have. One thing he always references, is that his marriage is like a pure glass of water, once a drop of vinegar is added, even if you don't see it, the water isn't pure anymore. He takes pride in the fact that he has never 'defiled' his marriage, and that means more to him than getting some 'strange'. I believe our sociality has ruined marriage, with all of the glorification of celebrity hoeing, men being termed 'the man' based on the number of female 'conquest', women being fed the all men are dogs analogies, and becoming 'independent' based on the broad overview of 'all' men being messed up, etc. Marriage, in it's nature is a beautiful thing, and the consequences of society diluting the beautiful nature of it, is what has caused a LOT of our social ills, spread of disease, unwanted pregnancy, the destruction of our adolescent years due to teen pregnancy and violence, all perpetrated based on the constant generation retrograde of consciousness and integrity...
Rick Ronson
Banned
kills me when people go into a marriage thinkin that if they marry the person
some things will change about them
dude do this more than women...they be like she only bitches cause i didnt commit yet
once i put this ring on her finger she will be happy and things will change.
not really
if the person aint found a way to maintain happiness at this stage in the game you aint gonna help.
some people think walking around all sad or mad looking is cool
to me it makes it seem like life has a foot in your ass.
some things will change about them
dude do this more than women...they be like she only bitches cause i didnt commit yet
once i put this ring on her finger she will be happy and things will change.
not really
if the person aint found a way to maintain happiness at this stage in the game you aint gonna help.
some people think walking around all sad or mad looking is cool
to me it makes it seem like life has a foot in your ass.
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I disagree. When black people accepted christianity things that were natural to them became twisted. Along with slavery of course. But christianity to me is the reason number 1 of why our black communities are so messed up now.
And yes, i do believe alot of people shouldn't get married. Shouldn't even get involved with other human beings even.
Welcome to the discussion Mr. Tjervey. I understand what you're saying. But i still place the blame squarely on the shoulders of religious dogma. Moving away from the natural world, and letting society, as you said. Influence and corrupt that true nature of things.
If one get's married just because they believe in the institution of marriage, then that shit is doomed. However, if one gets married because they are so in love that they can no longer live without their beloved, then marriage can be a beautiful thing. If you've never been in love like that then you can't really question the validity of marriage. My advice; wait until you're really in love, THEN ask yourself this question.
Maybe I'll be the only one for marriage. Been in it for 10 yrs (married young) and despite its ups and downs, I'm enjoying it.
We laugh a lot and argue few times (who doesn't?).
We give each other space and respect, she does her girls' nite out thing with her friends, I do the same with my boys but I mostly spend time with my daughter and junior now that he stopped monopolizing titties I paid for.
Money is not an issue since we both have good paying jobs and everything is out in the open. We don't do the "I'm paying for mortgage, u pay for groceries" thing.
We have our problems but we take care of them or at least try to then grow from there.
We started from 3 white plastic chairs and college dorm leftovers to a 5 bedroom house, I'm sticking with this beautiful lady of mine.
We laugh a lot and argue few times (who doesn't?).
We give each other space and respect, she does her girls' nite out thing with her friends, I do the same with my boys but I mostly spend time with my daughter and junior now that he stopped monopolizing titties I paid for.
Money is not an issue since we both have good paying jobs and everything is out in the open. We don't do the "I'm paying for mortgage, u pay for groceries" thing.
We have our problems but we take care of them or at least try to then grow from there.
We started from 3 white plastic chairs and college dorm leftovers to a 5 bedroom house, I'm sticking with this beautiful lady of mine.
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