How to Date.

In cheaters, Stephon was made to look bad after he told everyone at his family dinner that he and Chante were only dating, which they were at that point.


Darnell was made to look bad after conversing with Tammy. He was then accused by his wife Dawn of raping her in the garage. I mean, come on, he saw his wife coming in and he liked what she had on so he hit it in the garage....then she complained later.

In Maintenance Man, the club assistant, I can't remember her name, kept dogging out Chris, who shows her genuine interest, but she kept friend zoning him.

The club owner caught his wife cheating, he filmed it and showed everyone in church, yet he was made out to be the bad guy.


edit: That was Michael Baisden

lol ... ok a book named CHEATERS doesn't portray anyone in a good light ... I haven't read that one in years so I can't remember the details, but i think all the major characters had issues .. but i don't read his writing to look for an example of a good man .. I read him because he creates characters so real .. and his story are enticing ... he is a good writer
 
What's the "right places".........please enlighten us.

Don't say church, it's a haven for reformed whores and faggots.

Don't say the bookstore. The black women I see going into there are only looking for Zane and Eric Jerome Dickey novels.

So.........where?




In undergrad. Our first date was pizza, 7up, and games and movies from Hollywood video.

Where you met your wife is a good start.

The bookstore might be a good place, (or in my case the comic book shop), but I'm not judging on what they buy. At least they read.

I'd be looking in places that I'd go to, find someone with similar interests. You see someone at the jazz concert...perhaps waiting in line with you for two hours trying to buy nephew that toy they want for christmas...maybe at the comp part store. Jogging in the park.

Maybe so much emphasis shouldn't be on where to look so much as knowing to look at potential where you are.


I dont go ..

True Story .. This guy has been hitting me up often about going out .. I am not interested in him in the least physically even though his personality seems to be ok .. I keep saying I'm busy or yadda yadda.. he keeps asking .. its been about 2 months ... so now, I don't even respond to him because I want to avoid the awkwardness because I know what his intentions are ...




BINNGGGGOOOOO .. bing - mutha effin' ooooo


ooorrr everyone is trying to get the chick who looks like the video vixen ... and then wonder why she left him in search of a balla

Oh that is so evident by looking at some responses on the other side. I keep thinking to myself if some of these people knwo what a real woman in terms of looks actually looks like.

You're being awfully judgmental of people in your initial assumptions.. I would be offended if a guy didn't think I was worthy of attention for one book I'm buying ... but i'd also take it as he's not worth my time if he's that quick to judge

:yes:

Would you date a man who approached you after seeing him come out of a porn shop with an armful of porno DVDs?


What good are Zane novels really?


Depends on what he got.

If he got some scat or one of those gangbang where its 7 females and one dude and they all got strap ons, or gay male porn...or beatiality...I'm walking the other way.
 
I admit, my desire to "date" is non-existent - I don't see the purpose in spending any money on a woman who in all likelihood I won't see again. Just a shortage of women who want companionship rather than a free meal/concert/whatever - at least from what I see.
 
It's interesting that not many brothers on here feel as though dating is even fun. lol

To me dating is all about experiences. I like going out to eat, plays shows and other cultural events and I honestly would much rather be accompanied by a woman than a bunch of dudes. So for me going out is not about paying for a chance to get some pussy I actually enjoy the experience. When I was growing up we went out as a family a lot. Mother and Father. So I am use to that type of interaction.

I think we as black men need to get back to being able to woo our women being able to take them out an make them feel like a woman is vital. It's vital especially if we have the expectations that they be every woman we need to be able to show them the world.
 
I think we as black men need to get back to being able to woo our women being able to take them out an make them feel like a woman is vital. It's vital especially if we have the expectations that they be every woman we need to be able to show them the world.

86yam2o.jpg



Yeah, let everyone know when the economy is better.
 
I admit, my desire to "date" is non-existent - I don't see the purpose in spending any money on a woman who in all likelihood I won't see again. Just a shortage of women who want companionship rather than a free meal/concert/whatever - at least from what I see.

Shy...:(

I thought you was working on this...

It's interesting that not many brothers on here feel as though dating is even fun. lol

To me dating is all about experiences. I like going out to eat, plays shows and other cultural events and I honestly would much rather be accompanied by a woman than a bunch of dudes. So for me going out is not about paying for a chance to get some pussy I actually enjoy the experience. When I was growing up we went out as a family a lot. Mother and Father. So I am use to that type of interaction.

I think we as black men need to get back to being able to woo our women being able to take them out an make them feel like a woman is vital. It's vital especially if we have the expectations that they be every woman we need to be able to show them the world.

See, someone gets it.
 
This thread and the male response to it makes me very sad. :(

I'm in my mid-twenties and truthfully, don't have a lot of experience "dating", casually or as prelude to a relationship. I think men underestimate how good a well-planned and executed date makes a woman feel, regardless of the amount of money spent. There's something to be said for making a woman feel special and, for whatever reason, one of the clearest ways of showing that when you're just getting to know a woman is by planning and paying for a date. Still, that's not to say that a good or memorable date has to consist of a fancy meal at an expensive restaurant. As long as you're not asking me to come sit on your couch (much too intimate for a first date, plus come on put in a little bit of effort to show you like me more than a random jumpoff) we can do just about anything. Seriously.

For the men who think that women who date are just out for a free meal, let me assure you that's not the case! At least, not for most women (I don't think). Some of you guys seem really... bitter is the best word I can come up with. If all the women you've been dating have given off that kind of aura, you should really look at why you were dating those women in the first place.

All this to say, I think a lot less women are dating as regularly as you guys believe, so not putting in any, or minimal, effort when they finally do go out on a date makes us feel like, what's the point, I could've stayed at home with a glass of wine and Desperate Housewives!

P.S. I'm a lawyer. I say this because I have a huge bookcase full of black romance novels -among others- sitting in my apartment at this very moment (no Zane though, she's actually a terrible storyteller, and no EJD, although I did enjoy Cheaters). I read these books as a break for my brain from all the legit intellectual reading I do on a daily basis. To assume that you could ascertain anything about me because I purchase a book with a half naked man on the cover rather than Literature, shows a startling lack of knowledge about the human condition on your behalf.
 
This thread and the male response to it makes me very sad. :(

I'm in my mid-twenties and truthfully, don't have a lot of experience "dating", casually or as prelude to a relationship. I think men underestimate how good a well-planned and executed date makes a woman feel, regardless of the amount of money spent. There's something to be said for making a woman feel special and, for whatever reason, one of the clearest ways of showing that when you're just getting to know a woman is by planning and paying for a date. Still, that's not to say that a good or memorable date has to consist of a fancy meal at an expensive restaurant. As long as you're not asking me to come sit on your couch (much too intimate for a first date, plus come on put in a little bit of effort to show you like me more than a random jumpoff) we can do just about anything. Seriously.

For the men who think that women who date are just out for a free meal, let me assure you that's not the case! At least, not for most women (I don't think). Some of you guys seem really... bitter is the best word I can come up with. If all the women you've been dating have given off that kind of aura, you should really look at why you were dating those women in the first place.

All this to say, I think a lot less women are dating as regularly as you guys believe, so not putting in any, or minimal, effort when they finally do go out on a date makes us feel like, what's the point, I could've stayed at home with a glass of wine and Desperate Housewives!

P.S. I'm a lawyer. I say this because I have a huge bookcase full of black romance novels -among others- sitting in my apartment at this very moment (no Zane though, she's actually a terrible storyteller, and no EJD, although I did enjoy Cheaters). I read these books as a break for my brain from all the legit intellectual reading I do on a daily basis. To assume that you could ascertain anything about me because I purchase a book with a half naked man on the cover rather than Literature, shows a startling lack of knowledge about the human condition on your behalf.

Please post more. :D
 
all this talk about men should pay, and men should plan.



when does the woman do anything besides order the meal and pretend to be interested?



Just today, the wife and I went to eat after watching The Last Exorcist. We went to Humperdinks which is a relatively decent place to eat. You're looking to spend at least $30 to feed 2 people.

In walks a couple. Guy looks pretty happy to be there, his date however, has that "can't believe this nigga" scowl on her face and walks in with her arms all crossed.

They sit behind us. As HE talks, she picks over her food and takes maybe two bites and says she's full. She then excuses herself. When he gets on the phone, he cusses out his homeboy for hooking him up with her. She expected him to take her to some lavish establishment, AFTER he took her to six flags.


15 minutes pass and she still didn't return, he paid for HIS meal and left. I have no idea what happened to her, but she never came back.


It makes me glad that I'm married and out of the dating game, because it's a straight up struggle nowadays.
 
To assume that you could ascertain anything about me because I purchase a book with a half naked man on the cover rather than Literature, shows a startling lack of knowledge about the human condition on your behalf.


No, it's a personal preference of mine. I'm sure there are many women who think video gaming and anime watching is for kids only. That's their preference. I think that EJD is a bullshit author and majority of his readers many times are looking to fashion their lives off of the things written in his books. So I chose not to associate myself with women who partook in his books.
 
when does the woman do anything besides order the meal and pretend to be interested?

lol, you're so pessimistic! Are you telling us your lovely wife was pretending to be interested on your first date? All I'm saying is give women the benefit of the doubt-- obviously all women are not just interested in a free meal or something to do on a Saturday night, if that was the case, there'd be no marriages or long term relationships whatsoever. No?

Seriously, just answer this--do you believe the women who've posted who said that a date does not have to be expensive or cost money at all for them to have a really good time?
 
86yam2o.jpg



Yeah, let everyone know when the economy is better.

It's not about money. If you love life you want to experience different things if you want to experience those things with men that's your choice I prefer the company of a good woman.

I find it sad that I witness brothers all the time that have no-idea how to date. I'm only 34 but I feel like an old head when I see brothers who don't know how to do the basic shit that makes a man a gentlemen. At some point we have to grow up and to be truly refined as a person. Being on a date and making a woman feel like a woman is not about money it's about being a man.
 
No, it's a personal preference of mine. I'm sure there are many women who think video gaming and anime watching is for kids only. That's their preference. I think that EJD is a bullshit author and majority of his readers many times are looking to fashion their lives off of the things written in his books. So I chose not to associate myself with women who partook in his books.

Darn, there goes my fantasy of meeting a nice guy in my neighborhood Borders! :smh:
 
lol, you're so pessimistic! Are you telling us your lovely wife was pretending to be interested on your first date?

Nope, because I knew from the beginning before I even said "let's grab something to eat" that we share common interests. I knew we could talk about a wide variety of subjects. If I can't carry a conversation with you without having to stop and explain what this word means and what that word means, then it's no reason for me to even eat with you. I settled that matter EARLY before the relationship even began.


Seriously, just answer this--do you believe the women who've posted who said that a date does not have to be expensive or cost money at all for them to have a really good time?

Honestly, I don't know. Even before I was married I heard the same things over and over again and I rarely ever saw it nor heard of any males speaking about it. It's like listening to someone talk about how scary a rollercoaster is. Yeah, you HEAR about it, but until one actually experiences it, it's just something put into the air.
 
Darn, there goes my fantasy of meeting a nice guy in my neighborhood Borders! :smh:


It depends on what your definition of "nice guy" is.


Some women think it's the elusive "2pac with a degree"

Some women think "nice" means "soft."


Thing is......there may be a nice guy at borders....he may not approach you though. You may have to take the initiative.
 
IMO dating is getting to know a person and deciding whether you want to go further or not with them ... its the beginning stages of just learning about each other

It IMO is not as complicated as others in this thread are making it out to be
 
Darn, there goes my fantasy of meeting a nice guy in my neighborhood Borders! :smh:

:lol:

It's not about money. If you love life you want to experience different things if you want to experience those things with men that's your choice I prefer the company of a good woman.

I find it sad that I witness brothers all the time that have no-idea how to date. I'm only 34 but I feel like an old head when I see brothers who don't know how to do the basic shit that makes a man a gentlemen. At some point we have to grow up and to be truly refined as a person. Being on a date and making a woman feel like a woman is not about money it's about being a man.

I also see nothing wrong with a woman doing what she can do to make a man feel like a man as well in some situations. Whatever that may be according to the individual...

In walks a couple. Guy looks pretty happy to be there, his date however, has that "can't believe this nigga" scowl on her face and walks in with her arms all crossed.

They sit behind us. As HE talks, she picks over her food and takes maybe two bites and says she's full. She then excuses herself. When he gets on the phone, he cusses out his homeboy for hooking him up with her. She expected him to take her to some lavish establishment, AFTER he took her to six flags.


15 minutes pass and she still didn't return, he paid for HIS meal and left. I have no idea what happened to her, but she never came back.

Maybe he pissed her off BEFORE they got to the restaurant? Not saying dude was just exemplary, but hey it could have happened :dunno:. You can't assume that just cause chick didn't want to be there it means that she was ungrateful. Now if she was, (and we don't know), dude should have known better to take her to that type of eatery but at least he tried. Just know that sooner or later his efforts will go noticed by the right woman or the wrong woman too late.
 
BCAA comes off so damn angry. In ever single post. I just picture him scowling and angry. If i get asked out on a date by an attractive woman, the onus is on her to impress me. My first "date" with my husband was to an IHOP. Were i had the Intercontinental Breakfast Sampler and he ate my pancakes and had a chocolate milk, and we talked for hours about books, where we were from and comics.

You're supposed to impress your date. And if you're the 1 asking the lady out? Then the onus is on you to make that banging first impression. I'm not saying you have to break the bank. But you gotta do something. You're the male the aggressor. Wtf's? Be the male aggressor and knock her socks off! Hell be creative. If she's the sporty type, do something outdoorsy. If she's all girly and ladylike then take her someplace sweet and nice. If she's a pizza and a movie chick then that's fine too.

If i'm asked out now, and we go to humperdinks that'll be fine. I'll complain that it's bland food, you sure you wanna go here? Ok. I don't usually like it here but we can do this. I'll give a shot. If that doesn't tell you to take me some place else? lol. Well i don't know.

Me and Wifey's first date was to a really expensive place. for the 2 of us it was like 200 dollars. It was good food and everything was nice. She wanted to impress me. Nothing wrong with that either.

I think alot of these guys just don't get the POINT of the dating. The date.
 
BCAA comes off so damn angry. In ever single post. I just picture him scowling and angry.


no, I mostly have this face :hmm: .


Me and Wifey's first date was to a really expensive place. for the 2 of us it was like 200 dollars


If I spent $200 on a date, rest assure she would be sucking me off, in the car, with my boxers on, on the way to the motel, where I'll spend the next 4 hours fucking her in every depraved, perverted way possible, all on camera.


$200 on a first date? Fuck. That. Shit. Only legally married wives deserve that.
 
Darn, there goes my fantasy of meeting a nice guy in my neighborhood Borders! :smh:

Welcome and please post more.

And don't give up hope. Just cuz those who shall remain nameless don't like women with EJD books doesn't mean no other brother will. lol. My husband and i first met actually about him insulting the book i was reading lol.
 
no, I mostly have this face :hmm: .





If I spent $200 on a date, rest assure she would be sucking me off, in the car, with my boxers on, on the way to the motel, where I'll spend the next 4 hours fucking her in every depraved, perverted way possible, all on camera.


$200 on a first date? Fuck. That. Shit. Only legally married wives deserve that.

It was her choice. And why does the amount of money spent have to correlate to sex?
 
Like chivalry, women killed it.

Women didn't kill it. Males killed it. Absentee fathers killed it. :) lol. But no i don't think women killed it. Just about every real woman i know loves for a guy to court her. Just so many guys don't know how. So women are settling for the slim pickings. We have to be like, "ah well...they don't know any better and this is what i'm going to get anywayz."
 
Women didn't kill it. Males killed it. Absentee fathers killed it. :) lol. But no i don't think women killed it. Just about every real woman i know loves for a guy to court her. Just so many guys don't know how. So women are settling for the slim pickings. We have to be like, "ah well...they don't know any better and this is what i'm going to get anywayz."



In the early 90's when thug lovin became the newest ignorance to follow, women killed it.


When men held open door and women walked right through without saying "thank you" , women killed it.


When women like you think that a man is supposed to pay for every date and women don't have to do jack shit, women killed it.

When women started telling men "you're too nice", women killed it.
 
In the early 90's when thug lovin became the newest ignorance to follow, women killed it. Disagree. Thug luvin was a phase for those youngins. Where were the "GOOD GUYS". To ask a woman out properly? a WOMAN not a child.


When men held open door and women walked right through without saying "thank you" , women killed it.You guys try to say this, but i've never seen this stuff in my life. What WOMAN are you doing this for? Must be the same "woman" as up above.


When women like you think that a man is supposed to pay for every date and women don't have to do jack shit, women killed it.You don't know what a woman like me does. You've never asked. You see things in pure monetary terms. You think whatever spent should have a value on goods and services performed by the female.

When women started telling men "you're too nice", women killed it.

Not women. And i'm still convinced you guys were going after the same type of female. You're too nice is said by a chick with low self esteem. A real woman's self esteem is going to tell her she deserves to be treated well.
 
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