femmenoire said:
I agree.
Female posters: How would you react to the request to sign a Prenup.
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I agree.
MissMighty said:
Isn't it still love thought?
huh 
MissMighty said:huh
Wouldn't you love your man just the same?(with or with out a prenup?)
Yes but Femme's statement summed it up. If I'm around while he's broke why wouldn't I be around when he's rich? Makes the prenup kind of like a smack in the face.
femmenoire said:
I'm sorry, but marriage is some bullshit. Under no other circumstance would a sane man entangle himself in a partnership wherein it is stipulated that if there is a dissolution of the arrangement that he must give up half of his personal assets and further financially support his former associate for an indefinite period of time. WTF???
Given the facts that one can easily have a child outside of the institution of marriage, and that the tax biases afforded to married couples are outweighed by the potential for financial ruin, I don't see an up side to marriage from a male perspective. If you're single, decent looking and doing well enough to live comfortably without a second income, what's in it for a man?
CoTtOnMoUf said:fuck that. if you got bank and she doesn't, and she agrees to sign a prenup, then ain't shit wrong with that! it's just like buying insurance for your car, home, life. fuck that, you don't want your house to burn down, but you'd be a fool to not be prepared!
I agree on soo many levels, IF she helped get you your money then she's entitled. If she did nothing to help you get it and she does not want to sign a pre nup, then she screwed. Either relationship done or we friends forever.
Seriousy frak that fairy tale, happily ever after shit.
femmenoire said:
I find it curious when women start this line of reasoning. Because it has a major flaw in it. Because every man on the board could say that WOMEN don't have much faith in the relationship if they require a man to sign a piece of paper with the goverment (marriage certificate) to feel SECURE, right after a man has taken a VOW BEFORE HIS GOD to be with said woman forever.
But then again.. it's emotions getting in the way of practical facts. Over 50% of the marriages end in divorce. In the black community it is 70%. So at BEST the chances of as marriage working is a COIN FLIP.
How many women would be willing to hedge your entire life and future on just a coin flip? I'm not ONLY talking Pre-Nup, before you get married their should be a discussion about expectations "in case" of a divorce. Talking about expectations of a divorce should NOT effect the LOVE that two people have for each other.
A major part of the reason that WOMEN desire marriage is the benefit of SECURITY. Hypothetically the man is to foresake all other women
and put his WIFE on the PEDESTAL (that is all a marriage ceremony is the "act of celebrating the bride"). Otherwise if a man and a woman said that they loved each other and wanted to be together forever then they would just "Jump the broom" and not worry about signing a MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE with the state.
If a woman wants the security of a MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE
Why can't the man have the SECURITY of a PRE-NUPTIAL
DiamondDeuce said:If a woman wants the security of a MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE
Why can't the man have the SECURITY of a PRE-NUPTIAL
That is the catch 22 that I have not received a decent reply for... Why is it necessary for the man to marry the woman.... directly initiating a legal agreement when signing the marriage certificate.. but all of a sudden legal agreements show signs of mistrust, etc when it comes to protecting himself.
SlyMinx said:I for one don't have a problem with signing a pre-nup, be he suggest or not. I'm not rolling in dollars either, but to me it's a sign of INDEPENDENCE. If for some reason shit don't work out I have something to fall back on. It makes me sick to see, let alone hear a woman say she can't make it w/out a man. Wait...... I don't believe a man or woman's life should revolve completely around them.
EXAMPLE: I have a younger cousin who happen to meet a man who's smart, respectful, and had a good job. (some of the qualities u look for in your dream man, an so on an so forth) Cousin, on the other had no education passed the 11th grade, no job, no motivation to do better...... She happen to snag him up.What caught her eye was the fact he got two cars, a job that allows him to rub more than two nickels together.
Present Day......... (2 or 3 yrs. l8tr, an abortion, an a kid)
Still no job, no H.S. diploma. Just finished talking to her, sittin on her ass doin fucking NOTHING
with that being said......
I'M ALL FOR IT!! JUST THE SAME IF THE ROLES WERE REVERSED. SHOW ME WERE TO SIGN.
That don't mean I love my man/ no less than I did the day before, shit just ain't perfect
I'm getting a lil
Cosign.......
I am married and if my husband would have came to me and asked me to sign a pre-nup I would have said sure, let me draw up one too. I love him to death and vice versa but do what you gotta do. While we are together we are together and when we are not...We are not. (Pretty Ricky Barbershop 2
)Naaah but seriously I look at a pre nup as a sign of security. And I respect that. Just like my husband respects my 2nd checking and savings account. He knows that is money from my side hustle that I work hard for, and he has nothing to do with that. So it is for me to do what I want with it. I keep a nest egg. However the money from my full time day job goes into our joint account just like his does and we share that money.
What works for us may not work for some.
I have a very simple way of tackling this issue. If I'm filthy rich when I meet a chick that I fall in love with, best believe she's signing a prenup. The reason for this is I can be madly in love with her but, who's to say she's in love with me?? If she doesn't sign it, what does that say? She can yell and holler all she wants to. There's no telling what she's gonna do down the road. Fuck that half shit...
More !
More !
AND IF YOU HAVED A COUPLE OF THESE .....
THE PRENUP WONT BE WORTH THE PAPER IT IS WRITTEN ON !!
More !
AND IF YOU HAVED A COUPLE OF THESE .....
THE PRENUP WONT BE WORTH THE PAPER IT IS WRITTEN ON !!
I wouldnt have an issue with signing a pre nup. We are no longer living in the age of our grand parents who usually stayed together "till death" The reality of the times have to take hold at some point where you see divorce rates are at a all time high and the court battles over who gets what and so on has become the norm.
Unfortunate but true. If my man were to say to me I would like you to sign this then I in turn would also file similar paperwork especially with the possibility of children becoming involved a mutual negotiation. If there is adequate communication then there should not be an issue.
It doesnt mean he doesnt love me or vice versa it means that we are looking forward because there are no guarantees in life.
Unfortunate but true. If my man were to say to me I would like you to sign this then I in turn would also file similar paperwork especially with the possibility of children becoming involved a mutual negotiation. If there is adequate communication then there should not be an issue.
It doesnt mean he doesnt love me or vice versa it means that we are looking forward because there are no guarantees in life.
ladyscorpio said:
YALL MAKE IT SOUND SO EASY..........
WHO HERE ACTUALLY HAS A PRE-NUP ?
WHAT WILL BE AMUSING IS WHEN THE NEGOTIATION BREAKS DOWN AND YALL CANT AGREE TO GET MARRIED BECAUSE THE CONTRACT WONT PASS APPROVAL BY BOTH PARTIES.
ESPECIALLY...........
WHEN IT COMES TO KIDS AND FAMILY AND ALL THE OTHER LEGAL SHIT YOU CANT EVEN THINK OF RIGHT NOW.
WHICH TAKES ME BACK TO WHAT I SAID........
PEOPLE MARRYING FOR THE WRONG REASONS,
IM SOOOOO GLAD IM NOT IN YALLS GENERATION.
JUST DONT MARRY....PERIOD.
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Usually what happens is two broke ass people get married without a prenup. One of them strikes it rich. The marriage has marital problems subsequently and they get a divorce. I think this is what happened to Bob Johnson since his ex-wife got a significant portion of his wealth.
In this scenario, it makes sense to sign a prenup no matter what your income level is since you financial situation can change at any momment. People get promoted up in a company and in 20 years you can be a CEO However, you can never prenup your kids, so your ex-wife or husband can get paid with child support payments - if they get primary custody. It won't be half, but the child has a right to live in the same manner.
I don't see the point of marriage since black people divorce 70 percent of the time. You are better off just having the ceremony and kids. Just don't go to the courthouse to sign the marriage documents. You can decide to share assets by making them joint whatever. A marriage and prenup is basically the same concept. I don't want to give a judge or state the right to look around and divide all your assets as she/he sees fit.
In this scenario, it makes sense to sign a prenup no matter what your income level is since you financial situation can change at any momment. People get promoted up in a company and in 20 years you can be a CEO However, you can never prenup your kids, so your ex-wife or husband can get paid with child support payments - if they get primary custody. It won't be half, but the child has a right to live in the same manner.
I don't see the point of marriage since black people divorce 70 percent of the time. You are better off just having the ceremony and kids. Just don't go to the courthouse to sign the marriage documents. You can decide to share assets by making them joint whatever. A marriage and prenup is basically the same concept. I don't want to give a judge or state the right to look around and divide all your assets as she/he sees fit.
MoneyInTheBank said:AND IF YOU HAVED A COUPLE OF THESE .....
THE PRENUP WONT BE WORTH THE PAPER IT IS WRITTEN ON !!
Awww no man
COINTELPRO said:
IT WONT WORK
THE LAW PROVIDES FOR THOSE KIDS...OFF THE TOP
IF SHE WAS A WOMEN THAT SUPPORTED A MAN THROUGH THE HARD TIMES AND HE DOES STRIKE IT RICH OR VISA VERSA
SHE/ HE WILL BE PROVIDED FOR.....BY THE LAW.
PRE-NUP OR NO PRE-NUP
FIRST OF ALL IT WILL COST YOU A SMALL FORTUNE TO GET A LAWYER TO PUT TOGETHER A PRE-NUP THAT IS SO SOLID THAT YOU DONT HAVE TO PAY A SIGNIFICANT AMOUT ON THE BACK END.
LIKE I SAID THE SHIT SOUNDS REAL SIMPLE TIL YOU ACTUALLY TRY THE SHIT.
I WANT TO HEAR FROM SOMEBODY THAT ACTUALLY HAS ONE AND WILL BE HONEST ABOUT THEIR RELATIONSHIP.
TRUFICTION said:
A prenup should not cost that much since a lawyer is just copying one and tailoring it for your situation. You have to make sure you fiance hires her own lawyer to review the agreement. Prenups have been thrown out because a person was forced to sign or didn't have representation. Your lawyer need to write a good prenup, know contract law, divorce laws in your state, and be up on case law.
You need to consult a lawyer about your state laws regarding community property and all that jazz. The state I am at now keeps assets you accumulated before the marriage yours (I forget the term). So live and marry in states with favorable divorce laws for the person with money. A state law protecting your assets is a better friend than a prenup.
COINTELPRO said:
YOU JUST MADE MY POINT
LOOK AT ALL THE SHIT YOU HAVE TO KNOW TO EVEN BEGIN TO DO IT.
YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT KNOWLEGE TO BE TAILORED TO YOUR NEEDS.
PEOPLE KNOW LITTLE ABOUT THE LAW AND EVEN LESS ABOUT BEING IN
A RELATIONSHIP THAT WILL LAST PAST 6 MONTHS.
WE WANT PRE-NUP, WE WANT PRE-NUP! YEAH!
A close friend of mine, her ex-Fiance had a peek into her finances once. I'm sure he thought he was doing the right thing, he offered to sign a pre-nup to her.
We laughed, and laughed, and laughed long, and hard about that. And made merry.
I'm laughing now. I'm going to call her and talk about it so that we might laugh more.
Good pointMiss Lead Luv said:TRUST ME when you have mutual true love ITS WORSE, more emotions = more spite and heated breakups...[kanye]we want prenup, we want prenup [/kanye]
And since Black women tend to make more money than Black men shouldn't this post be directed at yall
Miss Lead Luv said:And since Black women tend to make more money than Black men shouldn't this post be directed at yall
Miss Lead Luv,
You have to look at the statistics and then get into the hard details of the data set. I would be willing to bet that the percentage of Black MILLIONAIRES is overwhelming lopsided in terms of men vs women..in favor of the men. When you consider that a high (too high) percentage of black millionaires come from the entertainment world (athletes, actors, etc) and you take into considering the percentage of black business that also have a male as the founder.. the numbers get further apart when you move up the pay scale.
Middle class and lower class may more evenly split.. but when you are talking about one person losing millions in divorce proceedings.. 9 times of out 10 it will be a black male who acquired the wealth and it losing it after the divorce.
Tell them folks, playa. I couldn't have said it better.CoTtOnMoUf said:fuck that. if you got bank and she doesn't, and she agrees to sign a prenup, then ain't shit wrong with that! it's just like buying insurance for your car, home, life. fuck that, you don't want your house to burn down, but you'd be a fool to not be prepared!
TRUFICTION said:
Gotta agreew with TRUFICTION here
If you're worried about your woman taking your money and feel the need to sign a pre-nup, DO NOT GET MARRIED.
People marry for all of the wrong reasons these days and when its time for the divorce and the man has to pay up because he makes so much more, he wants to bitch about it.
I used to think I'd make my girl sign a pre-nup but then I thought I would be undermining the relationship if it happens.
Also, people need to stop marrying below their income range and they wouldnt have to worry about losing most of their cake.
@ simps getting married for all the wrong reasons.***EDIT***
I will say the man is entitled to everything he earned BEFORE the marriage but during the marriage is fair game.
T
trinity
Guest
xfactor said:Gotta agreew with TRUFICTION here
If you're worried about your woman taking your money and feel the need to sign a pre-nup, DO NOT GET MARRIED.
People marry for all of the wrong reasons these days and when its time for the divorce and the man has to pay up because he makes so much more, he wants to bitch about it.
I used to think I'd make my girl sign a pre-nup but then I thought I would be undermining the relationship if it happens.
Also, people need to stop marrying below their income range and they wouldnt have to worry about losing most of their cake.
***EDIT***
I will say the man is entitled to everything he earned BEFORE the marriage but during the marriage is fair game.
it just makes the relationship seem superficial to me...the whole notion of a prenup just seems to bring in all those sentiments that detroy marraiges...marraige is suppose 2 be about building something together, not looking out for oneself, just my opinion, id sign one but i couldnt help questioning the motives behind it...
femmenoire said:
I don't think that a prenup means he wouldn't have faith in your relationship. When I got married, I thought that I would be married forever. It didn't work out that way. And sometimes, when things don't work out as planned, and feelings are hurt, people lash out. They want to hurt the person that hurt them. Divorce is ugly, and you'd be surprised how people act out of character when going through a crisis like your family being broken up. That being said, a man is just trying to protect himself from having his life ruined when he was only married for a few years.
trinity said:
The motives are simple: to protect himself from being raped in the courts just in case things dont work out.
Trinity. I just cant understand the negative sentiment you are speaking of. My current girlfriend and I discuss everything. I already told her my belief on this issue and she does not see one problem with it. Because why should she be entitled to my assets from a life BEFORE I met her in the first place...this is her own opinion on the matter.
If you are in an open and honest relationship, there should be nothing wrong with discussing negative what if situations.. what if I die how will we be prepared to handle raising kids and putting them in college without my income (life insurance, investing, et) what if we happen to want to part ways (prenuptials)... You dont want any of it to happen, but I think it is only responsible to discuss them. Now you can agree that you two dont believe a prenuptial is necessary and there is nothing wrong with that.
But considering that marriage (once you sign a marriage certificate) is not just a love based committment.. it is also a financial partnership as well. The reality of the situation is that all partnerships, despite the intentions, will not last forever. It would only seem wise to discuss the possible negative turns things can take...lay it out.. and move forward.
But why ignore the negative possibilities..you dont dwell on this and be pessimistic individual. but you can not acknowledge all the different possibilities and plan for them.
ASHYKNUCKKS said:
Man.. some of the horrors stories I have heard are heart-breaking. A man losing his house, car, etc... then left with alimony and child support(which is often just more spousal support) payments that almost make him an indentured servant...it becomes a debt that they never get out of... sometimes they can never financially recover.
And like you said, people are hurt and become vindictive.. and we all know what happens when a women in scorned.. at divorce proceedings. and the man has a hell of a problem that for the most part could have been avoided with a simple document.
DiamondDeuce said:If a woman wants the security of a MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE
Why can't the man have the SECURITY of a PRE-NUPTIAL
Bravo.
Miss Lead Luv said:TRUST ME when you have mutual true love ITS WORSE, more emotions = more spite and heated breakups...[kanye]we want prenup, we want prenup [/kanye]
And since Black women tend to make more money than Black men shouldn't this post be directed at yall
i'd agree if I didnt work for IBM, but since i fall in that 50-75k a year bracket,...
