Engagement rings revisited...

[followup]

I heard a story about a woman who only wanted a plain band as her engagement ring. The engagement lasted about a year. The wedding was planned, the guests invited, and only a couple of weeks remained. The groom decides that he doesn't love his bride as much as he should love the woman he wants to marry. He calls the wedding off and she is left out in the cold.

The groom said that he would pay any remaining balances for the wedding costs, but he would not marry her. So... one friend told me that this is why engagaement rings should cost the man a lot of money: because most men would seriously weigh spending so much on a ring for a woman they could not see spending forever with. And at least if he pulls a stunt like this one, she's got something pricy to pawn

 

[bgque12]

Do you know how much a $3,000 ring pawns for? A couple of hundred, that's it. Besides, do you really believe that a material object is gonna make up for the emotional abandonment?

 

[onyxfemme]

I heard a story about a woman who only wanted a plain band as her engagement ring. The engagement lasted about a year. The wedding was planned, the guests invited, and only a couple of weeks remained. The groom decides that he doesn't love his bride as much as he should love the woman he wants to marry. He calls the wedding off and she is left out in the cold.

The groom said that he would pay any remaining balances for the wedding costs, but he would not marry her. So... one friend told me that this is why engagaement rings should cost the man a lot of money: because most men would seriously weigh spending so much on a ring for a woman they could not see spending forever with. And at least if he pulls a stunt like this one, she's got something pricy to pawn

I think the ring should be as much as he/she can afford or that the couple should go half and half on the ring. Then who ever calls off the wedding the other person should keep the ring.
Wish I would have just called off everything....I would have gladly gave back his ring.

 

[followup]

Do you know how much a $3,000 ring pawns for? A couple of hundred, that's it. Besides, do you really believe that a material object is gonna make up for the emotional abandonment?

Of course not. Nothing will make up for that. I'm saying that most men I know know the value of the money they make. Seems like it would be harder for him to get engaged or break the engagement when he weighs how much of his hard-earned money he put into the ring. Maybe I am underestimating men, but...

 

[Cleopatra_J]

From the sound of it, the man didn't care about the money issues. He said he was willing to pay the remaining expenses from the wedding, so even if he had bought a more expensive ring it wouldn't have made a difference.

Andddd.. jewelry doesn't get that much on the pawn circuit, LOL. So I've heard

Obviously something was lacking in their relationship prior to the marriage, all the material things in the world won't fix that. I'm glad he realized before the marriage versus after... too many damn divorces these days!!!!

 

[LeroyDibiase]

I don't want to appear sexist, so I won't say what I want. But I will say that is some stupid logic.

 

[Noir]

If the guy was willing to eat the wedding costs with only a few weeks until the expected wedding date (meaning little to no refund due to cancellation), then the ring, and its cost, was negligible.

I am the type of person who feels that all the money spent on overpriced blood-diamond rings, and expensive weddings could be better put to use, like a down payment for the couple's home, or at least a better start for the couple than being tens of thousands of dollars in debt (or their families laying out a tons of money).

A few questions for the ladies:

1) Do you think an expensive engagement ring (do you still judge by the two months salary standard?) is required?

2) If the engagement falls through, do you expect to keep the ring? What if YOU are the one to break off the engagement? Why keep the ring if it is a painful reminder of a failed engagement?

 

[Cleopatra_J]

If the guy was willing to eat the wedding costs with only a few weeks until the expected wedding date (meaning little to no refund due to cancellation), then the ring, and its cost, was negligible.

I am the type of person who feels that all the money spent on overpriced blood-diamond rings, and expensive weddings could be better put to use, like a down payment for the couple's home, or at least a better start for the couple than being tens of thousands of dollars in debt (or their families laying out a tons of money).

A few questions for the ladies:

1) Do you think an expensive engagement ring (do you still judge by the two months salary standard?) is required?

2) If the engagement falls through, do you expect to keep the ring? What if YOU are the one to break off the engagement? Why keep the ring if it is a painful reminder of a failed engagement?

1. Before I used say I wanted a 2+ Carat ring, but now I know that don't mean shit. Its more about the quality of the man than what he can provide. material things are just that-material. And yes I may like nice things, but you can like nice things and be alone...

2. Idk what I would do in that situation. It would be devastating.. but that's no reason to punish a ring that I liked... LOL

 

[greygoose]

Of course not. Nothing will make up for that. I'm saying that most men I know know the value of the money they make. Seems like it would be harder for him to get engaged or break the engagement when he weighs how much of his hard-earned money he put into the ring. Maybe I am underestimating men, but...

if a person doesn't want to marry you they simply wont marry you. regardless of the ring and other expenses as Noir pointed out. probably a kid would be the only thing (my opinion) that would stand in the way of walking away from the marriage. and even that doesn't stop most.

because most men would seriously weigh spending so much on a ring for a woman they could not see spending forever with.

trust me the marriage itself is alot to consider. i mean even if you spend little money on a ring the marriage itself will consume whatever money you saved whats yours is hers

 

[ladyscorpio]

If the love is there then really doesn't matter what type of ring he/she gives. The ring is supposed to be only meant as a symbol. Why there is so much placed on a little trinket is beyond me. I mean its not the ring that you are planning on living out the rest of your life with. Its the partner.
To me a ring should be simple. Basic. The only reason I see that people want these outrageous "blood diamond" pieces is because of mere "looks" trying to one up the next couple. Too much time is spent on the material ish...







Peace

 

[Noir]

Idk what I would do in that situation. It would be devastating.. but that's no reason to punish a ring that I liked... LOL

If I broke off the engagement, or things weren't working out and it was mutual/amicable breakup, I guess I would not expect/want the ring back. . .

However, if SHE broke it off, or it was HER FAULT (caught her cheating, etc.) I would definitely demand the ring back. Hell I'd rather give it away to a friend/relative rather than let her keep it.

 

[bigirl]

WTF with this stupid fucking thread?
Go the fuck back wherever you were.

 

[JofromthaNO]

If the guy was willing to eat the wedding costs with only a few weeks until the expected wedding date (meaning little to no refund due to cancellation), then the ring, and its cost, was negligible.

I am the type of person who feels that all the money spent on overpriced blood-diamond rings, and expensive weddings could be better put to use, like a down payment for the couple's home, or at least a better start for the couple than being tens of thousands of dollars in debt (or their families laying out a tons of money).

A few questions for the ladies:

1) Do you think an expensive engagement ring (do you still judge by the two months salary standard?) is required?

2) If the engagement falls through, do you expect to keep the ring? What if YOU are the one to break off the engagement? Why keep the ring if it is a painful reminder of a failed engagement?

1. I don't care about the "salary rule" or anything like that...it's his gift to me, so I'll leave it up to him to decide how much he wants to spend. I'm sure he'll bestow a gift upon me worthy of our relationship...the lack of an hella expensive price tag won't ruin it [the moment] for me.

2. If he asks for it back, he'll get it back. If I break it off, I would, at this point in my life, offer it back, as well...not sure if I really want to or if it's because I just see that on the movies all the time

 

[onyxfemme]

WTF with this stupid fucking thread?
Go the fuck back wherever you were.

Dayum sweetie.....

 

[greygoose]

WTF with this stupid fucking thread?
Go the fuck back wherever you were.

 

[LeroyDibiase]

WTF with this stupid fucking thread?
Go the fuck back wherever you were.

And y'all have the nerve to BITCH and MOAN about me.

 

[melonpecan]

I don't want to appear sexist, so I won't say what I want. But I will say that is some stupid logic.

Who ever is popping the question pays for the engagement ring. Once that shit is finalized you dutch the cost of the wedding bands. I even know someone who wanted the glory of the engagement ring and bought himself one after he popped the question.


Personally, in my previous relationship, since our anniversary was in March I would have been happy with an engagement ring in aquamarine, (the month's stone). Pick a lesser stone you can get more for your money, if you're looking for a big stone thingy. The cost shouldn't have anything to do with love though. If he has to call off the damn wedding weeks before, he mustave felt pressured to propose in the first place.

 

[DiamondDeuce]

Op posted "Fuzzy Logic".

Women too often are more concerned with the quality of the ring than the quality of the man.



Every woman wants to be a BRIDE...very few want to be a WIFE.

think about it.

 

[p5ych3]

Op posted "Fuzzy Logic".

Women too often are more concerned with the quality of the ring than the quality of the man.



Every woman wants to be a BRIDE...very few want to be a WIFE.

think about it.

Preach brother.

I've heard of folks going near bankrupt over weddings. I agree its a
special occasion, but if you have to refinance to cover expenses
mths later, you made a fucked up decision.

 

[ladyscorpio]

Op posted "Fuzzy Logic".

Women too often are more concerned with the quality of the ring than the quality of the man.



Every woman wants to be a BRIDE...very few want to be a WIFE.

think about it.

Mass generalization don't you think? Not EVERY female wants a blood diamond or cares about that. Some of us actually prefer the simple things that come with love and place more value on the partnership as a whole. I know right crazy....but its true.






Peace

 

[AristotlesOwn]

Of course not. Nothing will make up for that. I'm saying that most men I know know the value of the money they make. Seems like it would be harder for him to get engaged or break the engagement when he weighs how much of his hard-earned money he put into the ring. Maybe I am underestimating men, but...

As mentioned before, if a man decides that he doesn't want to marry you, it doesn't matter how much money was spent on an engagement ring. On the other hand, you can't gauge a man's feelings on the price of the engagement ring; regardless of cost he'll either pull a stunt like this or he will buy a really pricey wedding ring because you were kind enough to accept a lower priced engagement ring. It all depends on how he truly feels.

 

[followup]

Interesting thoughts Thanks to the mature people who actually contributed to the thread

 

[followup]

Dayum sweetie.....

You don't understand. That he-she has been trying to lick my clit for the longest. I don't mess with gutter monkeys though

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Op posted "Fuzzy Logic".

Women too often are more concerned with the quality of the ring than the quality of the man.



Every woman wants to be a BRIDE...very few want to be a WIFE.

think about it.

You're gonna get told how wrong you are....just sayin is all.

 

[Izayoi]

As mentioned before, if a man decides that he doesn't want to marry you, it doesn't matter how much money was spent on an engagement ring. On the other hand, you can't gauge a man's feelings on the price of the engagement ring; regardless of cost he'll either pull a stunt like this or he will buy a really pricey wedding ring because you were kind enough to accept a lower priced engagement ring. It all depends on how he truly feels.

Well said.

 

[Harlem's Angel]

Rings are to be given back after the engagement is broken off so none of that should even be considered.... No offense to you followup but what the hell kind of company do you keep?
Does logic no longer apply or is it that common sense missed 85% of the American population?

 

[LeroyDibiase]

Rings are to be given back after the engagement is broken off so none of that should even be considered.... No offense to you followup but what the hell kind of company do you keep?
Does logic no longer apply or is it that common sense missed 85% of the American population?

Nevermind the fact that most engagement rings are kept by the women, let's just shit on the OP and her circle of friends. No offense to you, but where the hell do you live? Is reality no longer the norm or is it some sort of fantasy world??

 

[kwazdog]

FUCK A RING, HOES AINT GETTING SHIT FROM ME BUT LOVE, PROTECTION AND AFFECTION. FUCK THE FAKE EURO CENTRIC BULLSHIT... MAYBE A COW OR TWO, THAT'S IT

 

[LeroyDibiase]

FUCK A RING, HOES AINT GETTING SHIT FROM ME BUT LOVE, PROTECTION AND AFFECTION. FUCK THE FAKE EURO CENTRIC BULLSHIT... MAYBE A COW OR TWO, THAT'S IT

Nah, we're the ones supposed to get the dowry, the cows and the land. Notice how the man lost out on THAT tradition, but women keep the archaic tradition of wedding rings. And they say there's no double standard.

 

[actinanass]

You can call this fucked up if you wanna, but if my woman expects me to buy a $8,000 or more ring for her, I might need to get a prenup ready. BTW, I'm by no means a cheap person, but hell if its all about money to a bitch, then why should I trust her THAT much. Before everyone goes into a "if you don't TRUST..." rant, I believe that trust is a level based achievement.

For example, women, you might can trust your man with most of the things, but if it comes to him being alone with your slutty best friend....chances are you might think twice about that situation. Hell, its like trusting Bobby Brown with your a bag of kush... You just not going to do it.

 

[kjxxxx]

I don't want to appear sexist, so I won't say what I want. But I will say that is some stupid logic.

Op posted "Fuzzy Logic".


Every woman wants to be a BRIDE...very few want to be a WIFE.

think about it.

Rings are to be given back after the engagement is broken off so none of that should even be considered.... No offense to you followup but what the hell kind of company do you keep?
Does logic no longer apply or is it that common sense missed 85% of the American population?

I agree. I agree. I agree

 

[bgque12]

Of course not. Nothing will make up for that. I'm saying that most men I know know the value of the money they make. Seems like it would be harder for him to get engaged or break the engagement when he weighs how much of his hard-earned money he put into the ring. Maybe I am underestimating men, but...

You can't put a price tag on happiness or sorrow.

 

[followup]

You can't put a price tag on happiness or sorrow.

I agree with you 100%. But I wasn't talking about happiness. I was talking about men who seem to too easily call off a wedding. That's it. I personally don't even want an engagement ring.

 

[followup]

It depends on who breaks the engagement and why. If the engagement is broken because the man got caught cheating, then she keeps the ring. He broke the "contract". If it's a mutual decision the ring goes back to the man. If she calls it off for no reason, it goes back to the man. Yall need to watch Judge Joe Brown!

 

[jucurious]

I agree with you 100%. But I wasn't talking about happiness. I was talking about men who seem to too easily call off a wedding. That's it. I personally don't even want an engagement ring.

hmmm i'm confused as to what the topic is..

is it about men who call off the wedding easily (women have done that too)

OR

about having the ring buyer put a lot of money into the ring so they can "think twice" before just callin it off? (which doesn't matter)