BGOL/SOL Cheaters...Let me ask some ?'s

[DJCandle]

Not animal-like more like immature like.

Some people remain grown boys and grown girls and never adults.


Humans are supposed to evolve and grow. Growing in self-knowledge and your place in this world............ self realization.

At this point you don't need someone to validate desires of your ego.

At this point you are more directed outward inside of being consumed with the inward desires you have failed to master.

It like a child who has never learned to say no to more food.

It is not normal to NOT grow.

Respect.

As to the bold part, humans are not SUPPOSED to do anything. I understand where you're coming from, but while growing is a substantial part of us, being human is also living, and being, not supposing yourself to a standard set by another man. One can grow to a ripe old age having lived a vibrant life filled with wisdom, but that doesn't mean one's living and being must cease completely.

As for self-knowledge, self-awareness is the ability to view one's mental representation of one's own self. Right or wrong. What you deem right, maybe wrong to another, and vice versa. If one can objectively look at themselves and understand what their premise is, what they've become, and how they go about their business, self-realization has occurred, regardless of who it may or may not agree with.

You would be surprised how women can be and remain disconnected.

You need to talk to women to actually find out instead of repeating men talking points.


How do you think so many men father children that are not theirs?


Think about it................

Real talk.

But to play devil's advocate, for every woman that can remain disconnected, there are many who can't.

Given the women around me, I swing for the latter.

Sad, but true.

 

[onyxfemme]

Thats cool that it never came back up-because trust me it was in the back of her mind. Kudos to you for not taking another opportunity to get over on her.

Yes, I stayed with her. We actually lasted about a whole year after that. And the events of that night never came up again after that night. And no, I didn't have feelings for the other woman. It was strictly a sex thing for me. It was about more for her, though. That's why I had to end it. And as far as whether or not I respected her for staying, I'own know. I guess if anything, I had the feeling that I could get over on her if I wanted to. I never took the opportunity to do so, though. ​

See......Women are NOT equal to men. And I hate for my sisters to say this...As far as women cheating-it's no better than when men. I myself have grown to a place where regardless of how I feel, I cant cheat...Mainly because I am horrible liar.

..and the sad thing is that in 2010 alot of women want to be so "equal" to men that theyt try to do the same thing.

The women that I know that try to go the playa route (we used to call them hoes but its different out here now) allllll end up really hurt, or bitter or mentally scarred and exhausted a few years or less into their little lifestyle. Women have a hard time admitting that we are just build differently.

This is unfortunatley true

bascially a man is as faithful as his options - Chris Rock

so for instance if a bad ass secretary keeps throwing the pussy at you, it will take a Jedi mind trick to not proceed to hulk smash her in the bathroom

 

[kefta]

Ok I need someone to answer this question......
Why be in a committed relationship if you know you cant be faithful? Why not have all of the pussy you want as a single man?

Good question. Don't have an answer. I have been i relationships and always cheated. And whenever i meet a woman that just wants to F**K, am like, "hell no, I want more than that". and when i get into a serious relationship, i end up cheating.

 

[water]

Good question. Don't have an answer. I have been i relationships and always cheated. And whenever i meet a woman that just wants to F**K, am like, "hell no, I want more than that". and when i get into a serious relationship, i end up cheating.

Word of advice, you have to learn to end relationships, clean breaks with no communication after.

Also you have to learn to resist jumping into relationships.

There is nothing wrong with having "friends" but be upfront about the objective.....


When you say "I want more than that" maybe you are really saying "I'm worth more than that" because you see it as she devaluing your worth.........

Seek to understand the ego and things will become clearer..........

 

[water]

Thats cool that it never came back up-because trust me it was in the back of her mind. Kudos to you for not taking another opportunity to get over on her.



See......Women are NOT equal to men. And I hate for my sisters to say this...As far as women cheating-it's no better than when men. I myself have grown to a place where regardless of how I feel, I cant cheat...Mainly because I am horrible liar.





This is unfortunatley true

Is there something you want to share with us? Seriously...........

 

[onyxfemme]

Nope.....But you spoke truth in your second post
Thanks for dropping knowledge Kay!

Is there something you want to share with us? Seriously...........

Word of advice, you have to learn to end relationships, clean breaks with no communication after.

Also you have to learn to resist jumping into relationships.

There is nothing wrong with having "friends" but be upfront about the objective.....


When you say "I want more than that" maybe you are really saying "I'm worth more than that" because you see it as she devaluing your worth.........

Seek to understand the ego and things will become clearer..........

 

[GeeZnu]

Most of us men get into relationships for all the wrong reasons the #1 being basically for some in house ass , if dudes could fuck and endless stream of women without a house u know how many 1 room renting Bammas it would be

 

[kefta]

Because we're greedy. It's as simple as that ma. We wanna have our cake and to eat it too.

We need our emotional side catered to, our mental side, physical side, and any other side we may be missing. Certain women fulfill these needs, while others don't. Wifey may fulfill a good majority of them on a consistent basis, but she'll never fully satisfy the physical side, therefore we hunt for prey all the while maintaing home.

This is why side pieces are just a fuck. Nothing more, nothing less.

Animal-like? Indeed.

/thread

 

[kefta]

Word of advice, you have to learn to end relationships, clean breaks with no communication after.

Also you have to learn to resist jumping into relationships.

There is nothing wrong with having "friends" but be upfront about the objective.....


When you say "I want more than that" maybe you are really saying "I'm worth more than that" because you see it as she devaluing your worth.........

Seek to understand the ego and things will become clearer..........

Respect. I really need to work on that. oNe!!!

 

[bham_brotha]

To sum all this shit up.. the wife/girlfriend is like the house. Pretty much always there when you need it..always somewhere you can feel comfortable and rest your head. Thats why niggas call them their "main".. because when all else fails they still have that to rely on no matter what. And honestly I think youd be hard pressed to find many dudes that have never cheated unless theyre lying about it..or just cant get anything better.

 

[smoovejazz]

i did that.. but its odd, when you have a woman more women want you..some women even get off knowing you have a gf. and i think its also the thrill of creeping. now that i'm older next relationship i'm in i wont cheat..

Sho' yo' right...

Deep seated

No man, he was right the first time...he planted that seed deep in the other woman...

 

[Cinamiss]

This I totally agree with.

If I'm single and playing the field and let the women know up front.

If I'm in a relationship then I'm on lock down.

Of course there would be women who you are attracted to but I see it as not trusting my judgment if I go back on my commitment to my partner.


I practice what I preach, relationship = love + commitment

Just my $0.02

This I totally agree with.

 

[onyxfemme]

Interesting

To sum all this shit up.. the wife/girlfriend is like the house. Pretty much always there when you need it..always somewhere you can feel comfortable and rest your head. Thats why niggas call them their "main".. because when all else fails they still have that to rely on no matter what. And honestly I think youd be hard pressed to find many dudes that have never cheated unless theyre lying about it..or just cant get anything better.

 

[Mo-Better]

Its been my experience that I don't cheat as long as the relationship is strong and everything is going fine. Once I lose my respect for you all bets are off. You keep it together I'm right there with you but if your causing me stress....

 

[onyxfemme]

Dang Mo! You mean you wouldnt just dump the woman if you lost respect for her?

Its been my experience that I don't cheat as long as the relationship is strong and everything is going fine. Once I lose my respect for you all bets are off. You keep it together I'm right there with you but if your causing me stress....

 

[clitsational]

You mean you wouldnt just dump the woman if you lost respect for her?​

i lost respect for my ex five days into the relationship
kept her around for two more years

​

 

[onyxfemme]

I wish some of the ladies would chime in! The men are confusing!

 

[Mo-Better]

Dang Mo! You mean you wouldnt just dump the woman if you lost respect for her?

I'll lose respect and never say a word (just do my thing) until it suits me. I'll keep her around while searching for her replacement. I never play my hole card until it suits me. However when I cheat the relationship is already on the skids. I don't just cheat because the opportunity exist, I have a purpose.

Thought we had this discussion?

 

[Duval404]

1. i cheat because aint no pussy like new pussy

2. in what words of my uncle..."you never admit to infidelity" under no circumstances

3. women rarely leave due to cheating...women leave over finances

 

[onyxfemme]

Ummmm no we didnt sir! I didnt think you would ever cheat! Shame shame shame!

I'll lose respect and never say a word (just do my thing) until it suits me. I'll keep her around while searching for her replacement. I never play my hole card until it suits me. However when I cheat the relationship is already on the skids. I don't just cheat because the opportunity exist, I have a purpose.

Thought we had this discussion?

 

[BrownTurd]

So why stay in a relationship? Just dump your woman and have all the pussy you want?

That is like getting rid of your Bentley(wife) for a Lamborghini(jump Off). While it is nice to be in the fast lane with a Lamborghini it is not practical for an everyday drive.

 

[water]

To sum all this shit up.. the wife/girlfriend is like the house. Pretty much always there when you need it..always somewhere you can feel comfortable and rest your head. Thats why niggas call them their "main".. because when all else fails they still have that to rely on no matter what. And honestly I think youd be hard pressed to find many dudes that have never cheated unless theyre lying about it..or just cant get anything better.

Just the reverse.

The fact that I can get women easily makes it a moot point for me, why cheat?

The fact that people are in a relationship and cheat means that they "settled" but they are still looking for something better.

Why not be single and date until you decide who you "want" to build with instead of who you can get "right now"?

 

[water]

1. i cheat because aint no pussy like new pussy

Because the pussy may be new to you doesn't mean its new..............

 

[BrownTurd]

Ok I need someone to answer this question......
Why be in a committed relationship if you know you cant be faithful? Why not have all of the pussy you want as a single man?

Men don't cheat for emotional reasons. So being in a committed relationship has little meaning to men when it comes to stepping out. Men cheat mainly because the other female offered 99% of men don't leave the house saying they are going to cheat. You have women who offer the pussy to the guy. A lot of men can vouch for what I am about to say. He can be chilling at work minding his own business and not thinking about pussy. A female co-worker will come by and start flirting. Most dudes can ignore the chick until she hits the ego button. Ego Button "Nigga you scared of this and can't handle my fire head or pussy" So brothas go into the phone booth and change into Capt n Dick em Down and it be on.

 

[Non-StopJFK2TAB]

People are just mentally weak. Its really not that hard to remain faithful.

I did cheat, but it was more of a reaction and wanted to teach that person a lesson.

 

[onyxfemme]

Men don't cheat for emotional reasons. So being in a committed relationship has little meaning to men when it comes to stepping out. Men cheat mainly because the other female offered 99% of men don't leave the house saying they are going to cheat. You have women who offer the pussy to the guy. A lot of men van vouch for what I am about to say. He can be chilling at work minding his own business and not thinking about pussy. A female co-worker will come by and start flirting. Most dudes can ignore the chick until she hits the ego button. Ego Button "Nigga you scared of this and can't handle my fire head or pussy" So brothas go into the phone booth and change into Capt n Dick em Down and it be on.

 

[John_Gault]

Monogamy is an illusion. Humans aren't wired that way. It's not a gender thing. Men however, possess more capacity to 'roam' because our procreational role is biologically and neurologically distinct from women. Nature bears this out by providing more women than men to procreate with.

Relationships are about BUILDING, not fucking. So it IS possible to be monogamous sexually. But in my opinion AND observation INFIDELITY IS A MENTAL THING, where the physical act is an inconsequential outcome of that mental openness to fulfill a need, urge, or desire.

People are born polyamorous, then get indoctrinated into the concept of monogamy. If there wasn't any negative blowback for satisfying our sexual urges, societies would look and be organized differently.

JG

 

[Hollywoodheat]

Monogamy is an illusion. Humans aren't wired that way. It's not a gender thing. Men however, possess more capacity to 'roam' because our procreational role is biologically and neurologically distinct from women. Nature bears this out by providing more women than men to procreate with.

Relationships are about BUILDING, not fucking. So it IS possible to be monogamous sexually. But in my opinion AND observation INFIDELITY IS A MENTAL THING, where the physical act is an inconsequential outcome of that mental openness to fulfill a need, urge, or desire.

People are born polyamorous, then get indoctrinated into the concept of monogamy. If there wasn't any negative blowback for satisfying our sexual urges, societies would look and be organized differently.

JG

always one of my favorite posters, Question though, what would "differently" entail?

 

[John_Gault]

always one of my favorite posters, Question though, what would "differently" entail?

Though the differences are varied, one simple example calls into play the biochemical differences of testosterone and estrogen, which account for differing behavioral expressions of men vs. women along a whole array of actions.

Even though men and women possess both testosterone and estrogen. The primary difference in proportion (women with less test and more est, and the reverse for men) make up a good deal of both the physical AND mental differences in both genders. Our 'elevated' levels of cognition are outstripped by our genetic inclination to fuck, fuck, and fuck some more. That's why it takes iron discipline, an agreed goal/reason, and elevated levels of understanding to be both monogamous AND fulfilled. Monogamy for humans is simply artificial. It's an uncomforting thought for most, esp. women. But that's real.



JG

 

[Andros the magician]

OK time for me to chime in on this one.

First some background. All of my years as a man starting when I was in the coast guard, to college, to the army, and working in the real world I have been exposed to cheaters. Understand, I'm talking about watching other men cheat on their women. These males were my friends, coworkers, and third party friends. They cheated for all kinds of reasons.

They would cheat for things like the following:

1. New pussy.
2. They thought they could get away with it.
3. Easy access.
4. Female friend sex with no ties.
5. An old girlfriend they still loved coming back int he picture.
6. Getting even with a cheating girlfriend or wife.
7. A horrible relationship.
etc...

There were so many endless reasons. What I came to notice was that almost every single one of them would get it back eventually. What was funny about those moments is the amount of anger and sadness that would come from them. Crying, anger, thoughts of suicide, and depression. Yet, they were cheating for years and somehow it was OK.

So there is no right formula to figure out cheaters. People just do it for so many reasons. The key thing to remember that its easy to cheat. Sure you might get caught, especially if the person they are with doesn't stick by rules of catching the other person and reacts on hints. Its worlds harder to not get caught. Sure you wont get an award but it sets a personal standard. If you don't cheat and you find out your woman is cheating. You can move on without thinking twice. Compared to filling guilty because you were doing it as well and ending up in a bad cycle of trust and cheating. There is a reason so many homicides are committed because of cheating.

I remember years ago, I started working in this new office I was transferred to in Miami. It was great and was in a nice area. My girlfriend at the time was older than me and was paranoid because of the females in the area were aggressive and always half naked. So anyway, after a few weeks at this office this female there that was 10 years younger than me one day flat out asked if I wanted to have lunch together. As I was debating she walks over to the bathroom and unzips her pants and says, "no ties" and stands there. My coworker, this single brotha, starts chanting for me to go. It was tempting but I declined.

Yea I don't cheat. Not something that I like to do. I don't like living behind lies, playing the, "get my story right" game, or not respecting who I am with in my life. Whenever I was single, I just dated a lot and took advantage of my free life. Males need to remember that there will always be another big booty until we get 80+ ha. We can't fuck em all and need to remember that a relationship that evolves has much more potential than jumping around. Sure we will always get tempted but that's just how it is. Everyone has a temptation level. It doesn't mean you have to react to it.

I've been married before and when I got divorced I ended up dating two females at once. Completely stupid and rude. After being caught off and on about three times, they both finally dumped me. Sure I had it coming but what did I gain? Stories that no one really cares about?

So I just think cheating is just a quick decision that can instantly kill long term relationships. Personally, I have three females friends that I can have sex with or get head causally with no ties. Its a weird arrangement but I have never done it while I was with someone. Sure they don't care, but is it worth my relationship? No.

Cheaters just don't think. If they did, they wouldn't get in relationships with women they are not compatible with as men. They would speak up more about things they want or don't like in their relationships.

Oh well,

 

[tmp1971]

1- Yes, I have cheated and it was during time when we were having intamacy issues or noting was going due to her trying to ration out the pussy.

2-I have been caught because I fucked up and got sloppy. Caught twice in 16 years. I have probably been with 30 chicks outside of my wife during that time.

3-We seperated once for 2 years and got back together.


Somebody said that you have to cut off all connections and contacts with chicks when your done. Sometimes I have been honest and sometimes the allure of new pussy got the best of me. I'm in Atlanta and I am not trying to generalize but is so much pussy here that it can be overwhelming trying to stay faithful. I have learned that it it better to kick with a woman that already has someone.....If she is single, she will want to be around you all the time regardless if you are married.

 

[onyxfemme]

Andros the magician-Thanks for your breakdown and explanation-that was real talk!


tmp1971-Are ya'll still together?

 

[Madrox]

Its been my experience that I don't cheat as long as the relationship is strong and everything is going fine. Once I lose my respect for you all bets are off. You keep it together I'm right there with you but if your causing me stress....

...I've never cheated, but I definitely hear you. I have my prerequisites coming into new relationships with females (pretty much based on my past experiences) and expect, at a minimum, for those to be met as a requirement for me to get seriously involved. If I feel like those aren't met (when they've been acknowledged from jumstreet) I start to lose my respect in the potential of the relationship.

 

[ANGRY MAN]

To each is own,my thoughts is you only live once....once you hit that box I pray you did everything you wanted to do with YOUR life!and if that means cheating well fuck it.don't get 60-70 yrs old and you only been hitting the same pussy for 30-40 straight years.I know this sounds mean but,you only live once do what you want to do out here!one thing I never seen is any of my friends come back on this earth after they died.

 

[cli-terminator]

Monogamy is an illusion. Humans aren't wired that way. It's not a gender thing. Men however, possess more capacity to 'roam' because our procreational role is biologically and neurologically distinct from women. Nature bears this out by providing more women than men to procreate with.

Relationships are about BUILDING, not fucking. So it IS possible to be monogamous sexually. But in my opinion AND observation INFIDELITY IS A MENTAL THING, where the physical act is an inconsequential outcome of that mental openness to fulfill a need, urge, or desire.

People are born polyamorous, then get indoctrinated into the concept of monogamy. If there wasn't any negative blowback for satisfying our sexual urges, societies would look and be organized differently.

JG

That's real talk that probably went over a lot of people's heads