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BGOL Men 35+: Do you have a long time best friend?

I've got 2 "friends". one of them, we literally have known each other since we were in diapers, our mothers were friends, and we've been through this life together, thick and thin, and we still are tight. Another I met around 12 yrs old, and we've been like brothers ever since.

My girl, who I will marry someday, I've known since I was 13.

Be thankful if you have people like that in your life.
 
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playahaitian said:


Do Black Men form these types of bonds???

Especially when business is concerned?

Look at the music industry especially in Hip-Hop after the death of Chris Lighty...

Is this something WE as Black Men need to work on?

Shit most brothers can't even look at each other on the street without ice grills:hmm:

I swear it seems like especially after reading that New Brooklyn thread, black kids will let white people slide, but target people who look JUST like them...:smh:

THOUGHTS?​
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i think it depends on the cat, and the people he's around. i know for myself, i don't have a 'best friend'...i have a few that can be considered that...so it's more like an 'inner circle'...of those closest to me. there are those, that are friends, but i'm not that super tight with them...so they are in the 'outer circle'...

if this makes sense.
 
lifeisCRAZY said:
i got the same two best friends since I was 17. Great guys and I don't know what I would do with out them. You need that support group, people that knew you before you had grown up money or that nice car. Trying to help one of my best friends find a job now. He just got out of the military and I cant stand seeing him struggle.

Because I am an Alpha and a Mason I made lots of friends but none I depend on or trust. Dudes that want to only be around me for my money or what I can do for them but don't/can't bring nothing to the table. :smh:
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Sup, double brother!
 
Just had one die. RIP :( Was really the only cat I kicked it with. So many good times and memories. No more "remember that time" stories and :lol:

:( 20+ years of friendship gone.....
 
Thought I did ,but I'm by myself.. just like I was born:yes:

I don't fit the age requirement for this thread though...lol
 
Pootypoot said:
My main ace carried the shit out of me some years back. We fell out to the point that I found myself in his house yelling at him, about to rush him on some fighting shit, and he had his pistol under his pillow reaching for it like he was gonna buss me. Bro was a big ol fat dude who was also a special police officer (fake ass cop). He always had that bama .38 on him but I never thought he would pull the joint on me. I saw it in his eyes man, had I hit him he would have shot me instead of fighting like men. We didn't speak for like 10 years after that, but time heals a lot of shit, me and that dude been through all kinds of shit together, and I held him down, he held me down.

Long story short, we happen to get back in contact with one another and it felt really good to squash all that old shit with the big homey. We both got married in that time, and I got a son within that time. We chopped it up just like nothing happened. I don't know if I would say he was a best friend, but even after all we been through I would still ride for big bro.
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You better than me cause I don't think I could ever get over having a gun pulled on me by my best friend...EVER
 
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It's harder to do for black men due to money but the ones who are financially stable seem to have a closer bond with a friend here and there and the ones who aren't financially stable will pretty much leave and do whatever it takes to come up or achieve something.

A lot of it is due to finances.
 
I've thrown hands with all my long time friends and we still kick it when I go back home.

Sent from my SGH-M919 using Tapatalk 4 Beta
 
1 best friend and a very close and strong family
I have cousins ( males and females) around my age, we all grew up together.
 
bootlegga said:
i think it depends on the cat, and the people he's around. i know for myself, i don't have a 'best friend'...i have a few that can be considered that...so it's more like an 'inner circle'...of those closest to me. there are those, that are friends, but i'm not that super tight with them...so they are in the 'outer circle'...

if this makes sense.
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YES, YES, YES!

I have always said; if you do not have good relationships with other men do not kid yourself you are not a nice person. You can see the cynicism in the comments. By far most powerful men have good relationships with other men. Whenever I hear women talk about how they do not get along with other women they tend to be anti social or a hoe.
 
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Not 35+ but I only have one - two long time best friends. One I've known since childhood. The other I've known about 12 years. But we live in different states now and we hardly communicate. We usually pay a visit to each other maybe once a year myself more frequently because I travel a bit more.

My problem is I don't know how to make friends anymore at my age 30. I got a few loose acquaintances but nobody I can really feel comfortable with to call a close friend. Everyone is their own man at this point and most of us seems to be cool with all the friends we got. Im trying to break out of this contentment because I can use some new friends but I don't even know how anymore.

In some ways I kinda envy the bruhs who are able to keep a large group of close friends, looking like a mini Wu-Tang because I came from a group that size but we weren't cohesive enough to stick together even though we been through mad shit. But when we were together we were lit up the whole place with personalities. I always wonder how others keep they peoples together when I see groups like that and wonder how come my group of friends didn't make it through the years.

Friends are more valuable than money. When I didn't have no money at least I had friends, we had each other back like that.
 
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My friends that are still around since childhood I call my cousins. They are literally family to me.
 
Mello Mello said:
Not 35+ but I only have one - two long time best friends. One I've known since childhood. The other I've known about 12 years. But we live in different states now and we hardly communicate. We usually pay a visit to each other maybe once a year myself more frequently because I travel a bit more.

My problem is I don't know how to make friends anymore at my age 30. I got a few loose acquaintances but nobody I can really feel comfortable with to call a close friend. Everyone is their own man at this point and most of us seems to be cool with all the friends we got. Im trying to break out of this contentment because I can use some new friends but I don't even know how anymore.

In some ways I kinda envy the bruhs who are able to keep a large group of close friends, looking like a mini Wu-Tang because I came from a group that size but we weren't cohesive enough to stick together even though we been through mad shit. But when we were together we were lit up the whole place with personalities. I always wonder how others keep they peoples together when I see groups like that and wonder how come my group of friends didn't make it through the years.

Friends are more valuable than money. When I didn't have no money at least I had friends, we had each other back like that.
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Should Black Men show each other more respect/brotherhood?

http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=746927
 
Yup

3 of them all grew up in the PJs in the same building since we were bout 7 yrs old
 
playahaitian said:
Should Black Men show each other more respect/brotherhood?

http://www.bgol.us/board/showthread.php?t=746927
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Yeah as I was saying the same in that thread. I don't know how to take it beyond small talk or whatever. I try to give everyone their human respect. I guess it seems gay to me :lol: like how I'm supposed to make friends with someone I just met even though that's how most friendships start.




--- Sent from Crookphone using Turftalk
 
im 33, my best bud and i have been cool and close since we were 5. we done lots of dirt together shit we almost join the marines together but he messed up on his last yr. he is my daughters "uncle".
 
Mello Mello said:
Yeah as I was saying the same in that thread. I don't know how to take it beyond small talk or whatever. I try to give everyone their human respect. I guess it seems gay to me :lol: like how I'm supposed to make friends with someone I just met even though that's how most friendships start.




--- Sent from Crookphone using Turftalk
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THEY WANT TO THINK & FEEL LIKE THAT, fam!!!!!

Then you see in corporate america at conferences and seminars and job interviews golf course walking down the street THEY connecting and building and networking.

But we are DAMN NEAR BRED to hate each other and think its WEIRD to show love respect fellowship and admiration NOT only to another Black man (who looks JUST like YOU) but even to a Black woman.

We even hide the shit with dissing and clowning each other as JOKES but usually those jokes are making fun of our BLACKNESS...nothing else.

A White guy will pass you on the street and give you the "don't rob me" fake smile/nod...

and 9 times out of 10 you'll respond in kind.

But let a brother do that...its like "WHAT YOU LOOKING AT!?!"

We have to make an effort to show some type of brotherhood (and love doe the sisters) more PUBLIC...that is how we leave 'em shook. Cause then we are showing unity DESPITE or difference.

They will be much more hesitant to mess with a lone young brother or sister if we are showing that we all stand as one in some shape or form.
 
Most of my dudes I either new from grade school or college. Some from the military. I won't say I have a "best friend" but I have some solid dudes in my corner. As one of the posters said...your circle gets smaller as you get older and sometimes it's for the good. If you have your own family I don't think it matters as much but you still should have someone to go to for venting or to just cool out every now and then.
 
In life a person have 4-6 true friends. I have 6 such friends from age 5. We are roll and die friends, nothing could tear us apart except death. The respect, the support has never ceased. We are in 40's and never had fight, but we grind each other hard for jokes:lol::lol:
 
playahaitian said:
THEY WANT TO THINK & FEEL LIKE THAT, fam!!!!!

Then you see in corporate america at conferences and seminars and job interviews golf course walking down the street THEY connecting and building and networking.

But we are DAMN NEAR BRED to hate each other and think its WEIRD to show love respect fellowship and admiration NOT only to another Black man (who looks JUST like YOU) but even to a Black woman.

We even hide the shit with dissing and clowning each other as JOKES but usually those jokes are making fun of our BLACKNESS...nothing else.

A White guy will pass you on the street and give you the "don't rob me" fake smile/nod...

and 9 times out of 10 you'll respond in kind.

But let a brother do that...its like "WHAT YOU LOOKING AT!?!"

We have to make an effort to show some type of brotherhood (and love doe the sisters) more PUBLIC...that is how we leave 'em shook. Cause then we are showing unity DESPITE or difference.

They will be much more hesitant to mess with a lone young brother or sister if we are showing that we all stand as one in some shape or form.
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Yeah I hear you in that. I think what your asking for us the tough guy persona to be dropped to make it easier to relate. That tough guy persona is akin to the bitch shield females put up to weed out guys they aren't interested in. Men do the same with potential friends. With so many untrustworthy people out there it's hard to judge people's character or loyalty.

So everyone's apprehensive about stepping out and doing things the way you mention. As black men I see we have a uber-masculine macho persona. In some ways I love that about us in others I see how it can lead to frayed relations. You never really know if dude is a friend to begin with and it's a thin line between "tough love" and "hater" or constructive criticism. Relate like "frienemies". We afraid to lose respect for any slight appearance of being "soft". There is respect in being perceived as dangerous uncaring or unfeeling and we all seem to be vying for that type of respect which is really more like fear.

Then the hood look has become so prominent among us. Before the shit was a fad. The edgy look in the hood would signify being street savvy-edgy and hip to what's going on around them as not to look like a victim. It was intimidating to whites and and still is to some extent. It's all a defense mechanism for the hostile parts of the city, town or place we lived. And the similar experiences of this by several black men have defined this as the black male masculine experience. We never let our defenses down for nobody. As I type this I realize that is probably my problem and why I haven't been able to make many true friends the way I see others getting along so easily building clicks and shit. I'm jealous of those that can do that. Don't get me wrong I socialize like a mutha fucka but nobody can get close to me in a sense. I've heard this from several women I dealt with so I know it's likely seen the same way by dudes I enter act with. :dunno:

Really we are emotional hypocrites we don't say what we truly feel that's the manhood we've been trained in. You just gotta know how to read through the bravado to develop the friendship. The whole keep to self mentality does have its cons but nobody is completely autonomous we all need someone to help us. But we can network but do we have to be friends to network? Don't be fooled by them good ol boys, that connecting and building is usually passive aggressive biting tongue facade. However true friendship can open doors and a level of camaraderie for black men. If we can't see to help each other get ahead as black men then you can't see yourself getting ahead.




--- Sent from Crookphone using Turftalk
 
I'm not 35+ but I'm in my 30s and I have 6 close friends (5 homeboys and my wife). I have noticed that the majority of my friends are from high school and earlier. They were all in my wedding. I got cool with a LOT of people in college, but there is no one like my crew.
 
I am no longer in contact with any friends from high school and college. Marriage and kids, we grew apart. Also some were a negative influence and I had to cut them out. It is good to have friends though. BUT, it is better to be alone than have negative friends who pull you down.
 
I gotta best friend from college. I was his best man on his wedding day two years ago.
 
I got a lot of dudes and chicks thats i consider to be my brothers and sisters i've known some since 5 years old. Every now and then I'll know somebody long enough and have developed that relationship with where i can call them a brother or sister. I got a white brother and a white "mom" too.
 
My Three Long Time Best Friends:

#1 - Met him in college (1971). He passed away 2 years ago. He always had my back no matter what, and I always had his. We went through a lot, together!

#2 - Met him in 1974. He was a student in high school and I was his instructional aide. I was very hard on him and pushed him to graduate. A friendship developed as I tutored him during the summer prior to him entering Junior College. To this day, we are the best of friends and are always there for each other whenever needed!

#3 - Met him in 1978, when I decided to take college really serious and transferred to a four year university. While working on a project together, I noticed that he was a shit talker like myself. I introduced myself to him and we have also been the best of friends always talking shit! We have chased women together, hired and fired them and have always compared notes and had the biggest laughs about our escapades. We can always count on each other whenever we need serious advice about any kind of thing that's going on in our personal or professional lives!
 
We were a crew of 4 who grew up together. We were like brothers....2 moved away (Florida, Newark). The other, who I was the closest to, didn't live to see 19. Murdered by a crackhead.

Never truly recovered from that. Been trying to fill that void ever since with no success.
 

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