BGOL Men 35+: Do you have a long time best friend?

No permanent friends or enemies

the most important people in my life are my lawyer and accountant.

otherwise I roll with the PRINCE by NICOLO MACHIAVELLI
 
Unfortunately, many men (especially Black men) think that it's they're too cool for tight friends like that, or they think it's borderline gay...:smh:

...which is a shame, because these friends are the ones who will be there for you through everything...

I have one friend that I can say that is my best friend...one that has put up with my bullshit, and we've shared good times (promotions, marriages, etc) and bad (deaths, divorce, etc.)...

There are a couple of guys which I was friends with in college and high school, but we lost contact...I just made contact again with one of them (hadn't seen him in 15 years!) - I won't lose contact with him again...

I kinda lost some friends while pursuing women in my younger years, but as those women are now gone, I realize it would have been better to stay tight with these Brothers and form tighter friendships rather than deal with trifling hoes...I'm now trying to make amends for this, because hoes come and go, but friends - real friends, both male and female - are to be cherished and appreciated...
 
I had cats in my teens and 20's I thought were my friends. But as time went on and I chose to leave certain things alone and they chose to live out 2nd and 3rd childhoods or do thing that your really only supposed to do in your 20's. We've grown apart. The only friend I guess I really have lives in another state. We link few times a year, set up trips shit like that! But when you grow up your circle gets smaller. It's life

agreed
 
Life ain't like that at all. The number of situations in an average person's adult life requiring a team of 2 or more to solve a problem compared to the total number of possible situations in said person's adult life is a very small ratio.

Life is far more about acquiring the skills & experience to solve your own problems than it is about solving problems thru teamwork.
Friendship ain't just about solving problems. I ride for my niggas and they ride for me. Fuck what you talking bout, homie. You can't break that.
Niggas with no social skills and mad trust issues go through life reading that 48 laws of power bullshit, trying to use everybody. Everybody ain't like that. I'm cool with the same niggas I grew up with even though we live miles apart. If something great were to happen to me, that's who I would share it with. If something bad were to happen to me, I know they would be down for whatever just like I am for them.
Sorry, if you don't have that kind of bond with people, playa but that "single, solo, all for me" mentality is part of what's fucked up in this world. We are born and die alone but the experiences we have in between make us who we are. Part of that is the people you connect with.

38 this year. Same group of friends since HS and college. Same 8 brothers at my wedding. We've all got lives, some of us families. However, when you trust people to be people, you accept their failings and don't count on them 100% because people can let you down. You roll with it and love 'em all the same.

I was once blessed to have an incredible life lesson that caught me right on time. My one time gf, soul-mate, best friend, all that ... to this day, even married to another incredible lady, I've never had a relationship with a woman like that. if that 'unflappable' relationship can - and did - betray me, you begin to look at EVERYTHING with new eyes.

Those dudes are my brothers in spirit, if not blood. Can they do you dirty? Of course, that's that nature of man. That's the journey we all go through. But I'd still ride for them because that's the standard I hold myself to. That's friendship, I think.

Post worthy of a slow clap!
yes-rudy1.gif

Very eloquently put, sir!
 
Not one I talk to every day, outside my wife. I have one friend who I've known since we were 14 but we had like a 15 yr gap where we lost contact but the first time we talked it was like we never missed a beat.
I've some really close friends but most of them have moved to other cities so we keep in contact on FB.
 
see the problem is people use the term "friend" to loosely... you work with somebody and maybe they invite you to their house or whatever then all of a sudden you are "friends". that ain't what true friendship is about in my opinion.

Yes wht you are describing is an associate and you are true they dnt know a friend...

I have 2 close friends that I've known since I was in elementary school.. And quite a few associates that I know
 


exactly

but then again when i think about it years dont really say shit. its about the person himself. im just a real dude. i dont like bitchassness so i tell a bro upfront the way i am. and niggas see im down for them no matter what. shit all the niggas i know that were homeboys all are beefing cause of money, girls etc. and these were the type of dudes that would wear the same matching clothing and shit:lol:

homeboy in my circle im cool with 8years now. and he realer than most dudes i know 20plus years. so it all depends

Well yeah a couple of my closest friends at this point I met about 10 years ago. I was blessed to come into the world with 2 friends who we are still tight like brothers to this day. Our parents were cool before we were even alive and shit we are even tighter. Then I got a nigga I been cool with for damn near 20 years we still talk every now and then but fell off cuz he went and got some lame ass friends I guess he feels better around. Me and my niggas call them his "safe" friends :lol: only one really got put out the circle tho and that's cuz he pulled some coward ass shit that will not be condoned.
 
Friendship ain't just about solving problems. I ride for my niggas and they ride for me. Fuck what you talking bout, homie. You can't break that.
Niggas with no social skills and mad trust issues go through life reading that 48 laws of power bullshit, trying to use everybody. Everybody ain't like that. I'm cool with the same niggas I grew up with even though we live miles apart. If something great were to happen to me, that's who I would share it with. If something bad were to happen to me, I know they would be down for whatever just like I am for them.
Sorry, if you don't have that kind of bond with people, playa but that "single, solo, all for me" mentality is part of what's fucked up in this world. We are born and die alone but the experiences we have in between make us who we are. Part of that is the people you connect with.

Thanks for your sympathy but, I don't need it. Those who have friendships aren't above those who don't in any way. Going "solo" isn't a handicap in life due to not having social skills or trust issues. Most people who go "solo" do it by choice.

It's awesome you have boyfriends who are there for you to share your precious moments. Not everybody needs that type of interaction to make their life meaningful.

What's wrong with the world has absolutely nothing to do with whether people choose to have friends or not. You're being dumb as fuck.

I've never read 48 Laws.
 
Got homeboys I was cool with since elementary. I don't hang out much but if I need them or vice versa I could count on them.
 
Thanks for your sympathy but, I don't need it. Those who have friendships aren't above those who don't in any way. Going "solo" isn't a handicap in life due to not having social skills or trust issues. Most people who go "solo" do it by choice.

It's awesome you have boyfriends who are there for you to share your precious moments. Not everybody needs that type of interaction to make their life meaningful.

What's wrong with the world has absolutely nothing to do with whether people choose to have friends or not. You're being dumb as fuck.

I've never read 48 Laws.
And you are being wrong as fuck. Individualism is the reason that this country is so fucked up and can be directly connected to all of the major flaws that keep the 1%ers at 1 percent. They understand the power of divisiveness. Not having friends shows that you lack the ability or "choose not to" (yeah, right) connect with people on a certain level or that you lack trust. Anyone who lacks the ability to trust can be manipulated. You sound like one of those types who believe that bullshit military slogan "be an army of one". That is a fallacy that caters to one's ego. It is also a form of manipulation. You are one of those people who believe that we are not all connected. "Not everyone needs that type of interaction...blah, blah, blah." Spoken like a true social outcast.
Some niggas always think they accomplish shit alone. Nobody does; its just your ego that won't allow you to acknowledge the people that help you out in life and show them appreciation.
 
I have 4 Dudes that I grew up on my street, that I don't EVER remember meeting, they have just been apart of my life, like they were family. They are tighter with me than any of my Blood relatives, we ALWAYS get together when I'm back in Cleveland and they really don't kick it everyday with each other. (GrownMen don't have to see/call each other every d@mn day). I have 5 Cats that I was in the Military with that I met in '90 and we are all still tight to this day, we all get together once a year and tell some lies....
 
I got my brother and a few others I can count on with one hand. The rest are associates and playa haters. For real.
 
Man niggas fake these days they will sell you out for a dollar. Untrustworthy ass niggas thinking the realest thing in life is money. I mean get your money but you ain't gotta to convert to fake nigga shit about it. I mean be real but real has different definitions to niggas these days. Alot of this fake shit that be going on need to start being addressed Niggas need to learn what real really is and you they aint real just cause they got money!
 
And you are being wrong as fuck. Individualism is the reason that this country is so fucked up and can be directly connected to all of the major flaws that keep the 1%ers at 1 percent. They understand the power of divisiveness. Not having friends shows that you lack the ability or "choose not to" (yeah, right) connect with people on a certain level or that you lack trust. Anyone who lacks the ability to trust can be manipulated. You sound like one of those types who believe that bullshit military slogan "be an army of one". That is a fallacy that caters to one's ego. It is also a form of manipulation. You are one of those people who believe that we are not all connected. "Not everyone needs that type of interaction...blah, blah, blah." Spoken like a true social outcast.
Some niggas always think they accomplish shit alone. Nobody does; its just your ego that won't allow you to acknowledge the people that help you out in life and show them appreciation.

Since you like to make asinine assumptions about what I think from limited info, I'm sure you can appreciate that you sound like you're speaking from emotion & not intelligence.

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/individualism

individualism
1. a social theory advocating the liberty, rights, or independent action of the individual.
2. the principle or habit of or belief in independent thought or action.
3. the pursuit of individual rather than common or collective interests; egoism.
4. individual character; individuality.
5. an individual peculiarity

Assuming you're using the 4th definition, all countries are looking out for their own best interests & all co-operate with enemies & allies in varying degrees to achieve some self-serving end. The US is no different than any other country in terms of individualism. So, pick another word you don't know the proper definition of.

Not once have I said I've accomplished what I have alone. Your emotionally-fueled accusations on shit I didn't say further reinforce my belief you're dumb as fuck.

What's really funny is that in your attempt to marginalize me with words like "outcast", etc, you've exposed the real reason this country's fucked up. The believe that if someone isn't a part of your group & doesn't think, act or look like you or value what you value, then you're marginalized.

Can we wrap this up?
 
Can we wrap this up?
Well, you can bounce. Since you have already answered the question with a resounding "no" you don't have any lifelong friends after trying to stupidly detach emotions from the concept of friendship (explaining why your ass doesn't have any lifelong ones), you've pretty much wrapped it up for yourself.
Life is a series of experiences. Its obvious that yours is lacking a certain set and its obvious that it gets to you because you came into a thread to say "no, I don't have any long time friends" and you take it even further to say that you don't "need" that type of connection.
I still pity you.
I know that when one of my business ventures jumps off in a major way, I have some people that I trust in my corner. It must suck to not have that.
By the way, not all of my close friends think like or believe the way that I do. That is not what friendship is about. If you had any, you'd understand that. You accept someone IN SPITE OF differences; in other words UNCONDITIONALLY.
You don't have to try and justify your reasons for not having friends. I don't care. Just step off with trying to knock those who do. Keep flying solo, nigga. Just don't get caught out of pocket.
Deuces.
 
I don't. Shit, my lil brother, with whom I used to have a lot in common, I've outgrown. All of the friends I had in high school I had outgrown by the time I got home from the military after 4 years. They had kids and hadn't grown, some were still living with moms. I never went back home to moms. Anybody who sees staying at home with moms as anything but an EXTREMELY SHORT situation can't be on my team. I'm sorry. They are just giving up and I can't get with that. Many dudes I used to know haven't and refused to grow up and I have. My longest friend is 3 years, mainly because folks I know are immature. The few friends that I have grown to have a bond with have helped me through the recent divorce I am going through I do appreciate.
 
38 this year. Same group of friends since HS and college. Same 8 brothers at my wedding. We've all got lives, some of us families. However, when you trust people to be people, you accept their failings and don't count on them 100% because people can let you down. You roll with it and love 'em all the same.

I was once blessed to have an incredible life lesson that caught me right on time. My one time gf, soul-mate, best friend, all that ... to this day, even married to another incredible lady, I've never had a relationship with a woman like that. if that 'unflappable' relationship can - and did - betray me, you begin to look at EVERYTHING with new eyes.

Those dudes are my brothers in spirit, if not blood. Can they do you dirty? Of course, that's that nature of man. That's the journey we all go through. But I'd still ride for them because that's the standard I hold myself to. That's friendship, I think.

Thanks for this...

I wish I could have written so eloquently...:cool:

This is big problem over here. No brother hood.

This is why we got the cops killing us like it ain't shit, black females on that disrespect all black men shit, the media portraying us in all kind of fucked up ways, black dudes killing each other, too much self hate, the list goes on and on.

If we can unite on a national level then we unite on global level. If we can do that then we can get that pan Africanism going again.

Thats how they did back in the 60s
.

This was the whole point of my post right here...

A man and a woman can't be best friends, it's impossible. I'm not saying u'r not telling the truth but ...."male, female and best friends" in the same sentence don't go together.

Yours Truly.....Professor

not true..

I aint gonna lie we were more then friends but she is a trusted confidant and has helped me out of some very serious situations...

it is EXTREMELY rare to be able to call on a person at ANY time and no questions asked g\know you'll get support...

trust HER more then most of these bitch made dudes out here now...:hmm:
 
Well yeah a couple of my closest friends at this point I met about 10 years ago. I was blessed to come into the world with 2 friends who we are still tight like brothers to this day. Our parents were cool before we were even alive and shit we are even tighter. Then I got a nigga I been cool with for damn near 20 years we still talk every now and then but fell off cuz he went and got some lame ass friends I guess he feels better around. Me and my niggas call them his "safe" friends :lol: only one really got put out the circle tho and that's cuz he pulled some coward ass shit that will not be condoned.

real shit
 
you dont need anyone in this world.

like I said, you need money, lawyer and accountant.

no permanent friends or enemies but permanent interests.
 
Me and my best friend were born 1 week apart. We sat next to each other in kindergarten. He is all of my kids godfather and we talk weekly even now at 46 years old.
 
38 this year. Same group of friends since HS and college. Same 8 brothers at my wedding. We've all got lives, some of us families. However, when you trust people to be people, you accept their failings and don't count on them 100% because people can let you down. You roll with it and love 'em all the same.

I was once blessed to have an incredible life lesson that caught me right on time. My one time gf, soul-mate, best friend, all that ... to this day, even married to another incredible lady, I've never had a relationship with a woman like that. if that 'unflappable' relationship can - and did - betray me, you begin to look at EVERYTHING with new eyes.

Those dudes are my brothers in spirit, if not blood. Can they do you dirty? Of course, that's that nature of man. That's the journey we all go through. But I'd still ride for them because that's the standard I hold myself to. That's friendship, I think.

We should all be so lucky. Joining/getting out of the military before the email/facebook blow up killed connects. Numbers change, people change duty stations and you never hear from them again. I wish I had it like that.
 
Only 1 and I met him a decade ago, I'm in the process of building one with a family member, the rest of them are lost to me now.:angry:
 
I know this don't have SHIT to do with the topic, but reading wc's post about India Arie reminded me of the guy from my little hometown who threw a HUGE draft party when he was drafted back in 2005 into the NFL.

Dude threw this big party, and so many people showed up to that shit it was crazy.

Now, this was DRAFT DAY, and you had motherfuckers sitting around mad 'cause he was on his cellphone. One dude was like, 'Who that nigga think he is walking around on a cellphone like he he a boss???"

I'm thinking, 'NIGGA, IT'S DRAFT DAY! YOU KNOW HOW MANY MOTHERFUCKERS ARE CALLING HIM RIGHT NOW?!?1"

I saw so much hate that day that I ended up leaving. I didn't want that shit to rub off.

Dude wasn't even acting like a big shot. He was laughing and talking with everyone, and motherfuckers were salty as shit. :smh:

:smh::smh::smh:
 
you dont need anyone in this world.

like I said, you need money, lawyer and accountant.

no permanent friends or enemies but permanent interests.

I wouldn't say you NEED them GAME..

However if you read the OP I'm saying that the bond other races seem to form between men with common goals and challenges seems extremely rare and lacking in the black community.
 
i got a few friends that ive had for 30 yrs.....( grew up with/ nneighborhood folk)
i have a smaller group of friends that ive had for a good 20 yrs or maybe more.... & its only about maybe 5 of them.... ( college friends... friends that i made while in college out side of school )..... it feels good to have had friends for that long...
 
I think Black Men could learn from this...

I think this is a much more positive alternative to gang shit.
I think your giving wayyyyy to much props to white people while at tha same time ignoring Black men that have child hood friendships that are doing their own shit.

lebronco071706.jpg

AKRON, Ohio (AdAge.com) -- It's an "Entourage" moment. Four young guys from the neighborhood -- a superstar earning millions of dollars and the three buddies he employs -- clown around at a photo shoot, trading good-natured insults, roughhousing and laughing out loud, pausing only temporarily to let the star's stylist get in among them and straighten his jacket.

LRMR Marketing
"'Entourage,' huh? Do you know how many times we get that?" says Maverick Carter, childhood friend of the NBA's biggest star, LeBron James, and CEO of LRMR Marketing, the sports-marketing firm they formed along with pals Randy Mims and Rich Paul.

But this is no HBO show. This, potentially, is a billion-dollar business.

"Michael Jordan had a 15- to 20-year run with Nike and developed a huge business that is probably worth $500 [million] to $600 million," said Lynn Merritt, senior director of basketball sports marketing at Nike, and the guy who tracked LeBron from his earliest years in high school. "The state that LeBron comes in with now, with the internet and all kinds of technological advancements that weren't around when Michael was at his peak, well, LeBron could be the first billion-dollar athlete in all aspects."

The king of sports marketing is dead. Long live The King.

Four Horsemen no more
They no longer wish to be known as the Four Horsemen, the nickname they gave themselves years ago growing up in Akron, 45 minutes south of Cleveland, and the nickname used -- sometimes derisively -- in the media.

They're older now. Mr. James is still the baby of the bunch at 21. Mr. Carter is 24, Mr. Paul is 27 and Mr. Mims is 30. The Four Horsemen seems almost childish, and with the way they were taken to task some 15 months ago, the last thing they want is to appear immature or irresponsible.

When Mr. James fired agent Aaron Goodwin, the collective jaws of the NBA and the sports-marketing world dropped. The well-respected Mr. Goodwin had negotiated Mr. James' celebrated $90 million contract with Nike. Then Mr. James did the almost unthinkable in the sometimes stuffy world of sports marketing -- he handed his off-the-court businesses and marketing over to Messrs. Carter, Paul and Mims.

"Let me guess," wrote one sports columnist on AOL last year. "A few years from now, when LeBron needs knee surgery, he'll have his plumber do the job. When he needs his taxes done, he'll hire Mike Tyson."

Sports marketing summit
On a sultry July day on the campus of the University of Akron, where LRMR is holding a sports-marketing summit, surrounding itself with big-hitting partners such as Coke and Nike, and seeming every bit a slick outfit, they can laugh about the quote. In May of 2005, it stung.

"People thought we were idiots or something," Mr. Mims said.

"In the beginning, no one was giving us a chance," Mr. Paul said. "But it's a new day. Sports marketing in 2006 is different, athletes are different and the way people perceive athletes is different."

The friends had a vision and a strategic plan. More importantly, they had Mr. James as owner, client and active participant.

rest of article.
http://adage.com/article/news/king-s-men-lebron-james-version-entourage/110516/
 
I think your giving wayyyyy to much props to white people while at tha same time ignoring Black men that have child hood friendships that are doing their own shit.

lebronco071706.jpg

AKRON, Ohio (AdAge.com) -- It's an "Entourage" moment. Four young guys from the neighborhood -- a superstar earning millions of dollars and the three buddies he employs -- clown around at a photo shoot, trading good-natured insults, roughhousing and laughing out loud, pausing only temporarily to let the star's stylist get in among them and straighten his jacket.

LRMR Marketing
"'Entourage,' huh? Do you know how many times we get that?" says Maverick Carter, childhood friend of the NBA's biggest star, LeBron James, and CEO of LRMR Marketing, the sports-marketing firm they formed along with pals Randy Mims and Rich Paul.

But this is no HBO show. This, potentially, is a billion-dollar business.

"Michael Jordan had a 15- to 20-year run with Nike and developed a huge business that is probably worth $500 [million] to $600 million," said Lynn Merritt, senior director of basketball sports marketing at Nike, and the guy who tracked LeBron from his earliest years in high school. "The state that LeBron comes in with now, with the internet and all kinds of technological advancements that weren't around when Michael was at his peak, well, LeBron could be the first billion-dollar athlete in all aspects."

The king of sports marketing is dead. Long live The King.

Four Horsemen no more
They no longer wish to be known as the Four Horsemen, the nickname they gave themselves years ago growing up in Akron, 45 minutes south of Cleveland, and the nickname used -- sometimes derisively -- in the media.

They're older now. Mr. James is still the baby of the bunch at 21. Mr. Carter is 24, Mr. Paul is 27 and Mr. Mims is 30. The Four Horsemen seems almost childish, and with the way they were taken to task some 15 months ago, the last thing they want is to appear immature or irresponsible.

When Mr. James fired agent Aaron Goodwin, the collective jaws of the NBA and the sports-marketing world dropped. The well-respected Mr. Goodwin had negotiated Mr. James' celebrated $90 million contract with Nike. Then Mr. James did the almost unthinkable in the sometimes stuffy world of sports marketing -- he handed his off-the-court businesses and marketing over to Messrs. Carter, Paul and Mims.

"Let me guess," wrote one sports columnist on AOL last year. "A few years from now, when LeBron needs knee surgery, he'll have his plumber do the job. When he needs his taxes done, he'll hire Mike Tyson."

Sports marketing summit
On a sultry July day on the campus of the University of Akron, where LRMR is holding a sports-marketing summit, surrounding itself with big-hitting partners such as Coke and Nike, and seeming every bit a slick outfit, they can laugh about the quote. In May of 2005, it stung.

"People thought we were idiots or something," Mr. Mims said.

"In the beginning, no one was giving us a chance," Mr. Paul said. "But it's a new day. Sports marketing in 2006 is different, athletes are different and the way people perceive athletes is different."

The friends had a vision and a strategic plan. More importantly, they had Mr. James as owner, client and active participant.

rest of article.
http://adage.com/article/news/king-s-men-lebron-james-version-entourage/110516/

I think I mentioned this earlier in the thread...

but in hip hop you dont really see that and you always hear black actors in Hollywood complaining about it.
 
a wise man once told me long ago there is no such thing as a best friend... a friend is someone who will put their life on the line for you and you will do the same for them, so how can you put one persons friendship above another.

I understand where your coming from. The term should really be closest, or dearest friend. But, that shit sound mad gay, so BEST it is. It really doesn't make sense in a lotta cases, cause we all have many friends that at times will behave as better friends toward us than that best friend. But, this is the terminology we use.
 
me and my wife have known each other since we were 5.

i have male best friends that i've known for 20+ years. and my female best friend is going on 15 years now.
 
i got the same two best friends since I was 17. Great guys and I don't know what I would do with out them. You need that support group, people that knew you before you had grown up money or that nice car. Trying to help one of my best friends find a job now. He just got out of the military and I cant stand seeing him struggle.

Because I am an Alpha and a Mason I made lots of friends but none I depend on or trust. Dudes that want to only be around me for my money or what I can do for them but don't/can't bring nothing to the table. :smh:
 
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