BGOL, How did You Get Over Getting Your Heart Broke?
- Thread starter Anthony-Cruz
- Start date
kogalee
Banned
We all know every nigga on BGOL is a pimp that fucks 4-5 different dimes a week, broads that are finer than the baddest bitches posted on here dailywe know we know but on some real shit, I was just looking for advice from the BGOL fam on Christmas. Niggas can come in here and clown, that's expected but I've been on BGOL since I was 16 (I'm 24 now) and I've just gotten so much good advice from cats on here over the years about a lot of things that I apply to my life. So here's my question, for the cats that have had to deal with a really tough break up with a woman they loved, how did you handle it?
For most of this year, I was with this really amazing girl. To make a really long story short, her feelings towards me changed over the course of the relationship because of the way I would be at times. Holding on to grudges, not being patient, being too prideful, not being understanding, being quick tempered.. I can honestly say that at times, I was really an asshole to her. Not in the sense that I treated her badly at all.. but for example: if we were meeting up and she was late, 15-20 minutes, no matter the reason, I would just be really mad. I'd talk to her about it and she'd sincerely apologize but I'd stay mad for 20-30 minutes after the fact.. not talking to her at all, instead of just brushing it off and it would just kill the vibe between us after I got over it. There were a lot of other times small things like this happened and it got in the way of us.
I thought because I treated her really well and that because I was always a good boyfriend to her in terms of my actions that my behavior at times would just be overlooked by her but eventually the fighting just became too much and although we had an amazing relationship outside of the bickering, we couldn't get past the bullshit.
Eventually, we broke up and I just haven't been able to shake her off. I'm in university full time, I work part time, I volunteer, kick it with my niggas weekly, I'm always meeting girls at schools and different events, I'm kickin it with these broads, I hoop weekly but my ex is just still on my mind. None of the girls I talk to compare to her at all. I don't even have any interest in these girls, even though a lot of them are fine as hell and really cool. She's always on my mind. I was with my one ex for years and when we broke up, I wasn't upset about it like this at all but it's different with this girl.
I know there's cats on the board who's been in my shoes, that's why I'm asking. How did you get over someone that you really loved and cared about?
You got to go out and fuck better looking finer bitches.
Is the majority of the posters on here recently single?
A few years ago I wouldve run online to cry, as Ive aged,I realized its not important to dwell on the past. The old cliche "dont cry over spilled milk" always keep things in perspective for me.
You don't.
The bad part about it is that it's on her terms, meaning she ain't happy and don't want to be with you, that destroys a man's ego and the best advice is finding other women to be with.
Even if you were to take her back, what would really change? IMO when things go bad and SHE decides to bounce, it's best to stay apart cuz you always gonna remember her leaving you for someone else.
And lets be real, you think she's sitting on her thumbs thinking about you son? She's young, gotta lotta young niggas with high levels of testerone around her, young niggas who in good shape... lol
Give her a couple weeks and she's cutting some dude son...
When she leaves you, that's the key to move on and don't look back, if yall come back to being friends, do so when you gotta finer female than her...
Don't make her get the best of you, I don't watch slow jams and believe all that R&B bullshit, I deal with reality
Yep.
You know how when a female break up with you... you try to sit around and find all of her faults (Physically and Mentally), thinking ALL other niggas see those flaws and won't give her the time of day?
I got news for you... There's some ripped, handsome, and/or paid nigga all up in that phat ass and ain't thinking twice about her chubbiness and craziness. She in love again and sprung out over son too, whether he is or not.
Just keep it moving homes.
Alot of real talk in this thread! I'm currently trying to get over a woman myself and this thread helps out alot.
threads like this is what makes BGOL what it is.....despite the bullshit..
IMO, this is the simplest but absolute best advise in this thread. I'll also tack on the suggestion of using your "down time" to work on making some improvement/s in yourself. Remember that appointment with the gym you keep putting off? Or remember how you keep threatening to spend some time with that RosettatStone to get up on a 2nd language?
Now is the time to do that shit. But, do it for you. The irony is that when you are ready, and you are making these improvements in yourself, the woman thing will work out beautifully.
I have not read all the replies but I must ask the following:
1. Did you find out you loved her after she was gone?
2. Why was she ALWAYS late? Did she warn you ahead of time that she would be late?
3. Was the sex better than the friendship?
Only you have the answers to that. Time can either heal you or make you bitter and jaded. You must face the truth alone. Then, and only then, can you decide whether you really want & need her.
Lastly, if there is something you want to tell her, TELL HER NOW (no seriously, you don't even have to log off). You will regret not telling her. And if she says no, MOVE ... THE ... FUCK ... ON!
Happiness, like tragedy, is always there for you. You just gotta accept it.
peace
1. Did you find out you loved her after she was gone?
2. Why was she ALWAYS late? Did she warn you ahead of time that she would be late?
3. Was the sex better than the friendship?
Only you have the answers to that. Time can either heal you or make you bitter and jaded. You must face the truth alone. Then, and only then, can you decide whether you really want & need her.
Lastly, if there is something you want to tell her, TELL HER NOW (no seriously, you don't even have to log off). You will regret not telling her. And if she says no, MOVE ... THE ... FUCK ... ON!
Happiness, like tragedy, is always there for you. You just gotta accept it.
peace
Was with my ex for 16 years...
The break-up was very tough.
Me, I decided to explore as many interest as I could to
better myself... BETTER YOURSELF, Focus on you for a minute...
The advice for the new chicks? If that's what you're feeling, do it.
Want to hang with your homies more, do it!
Want to travel? Do It!
I went to Brazil and unleashed the "non-gentleman" for 1-month. Just to clear my head. no hookers!! Just soaked in the environment and the culture [as-well-as some women!!].
I discovered that new pussy isn't the solution for me. Discovering that
I could pull woman again, that I was valuable to others... that people
saw who I was and liked, respected and sometimes even catered to me.
The way to deal with a bad break-up is to learn who you are from that break-up and keep moving!
Be a man!
In time you will find that if you did work on yourself, another woman will step into the picture who will blow away any feelings of lose..
I promised myself I'd never talk about it again......
Fuckin bitch!
As most of these dudes said, takes TIME young brother, give it a couple months, use your boys and family as your backbone, delete the chick from your phone, facebook, everything that can be used as a reminder to her. Try not to go to the same places she goes to, you'll be back on your feet in no time bruh.
This is probably the realist shit posted in the thread so far..
Oh boy here we go.
#1. Love @ 24 in 2011 = comedy.
#2. Please bring out the violins for this cat
#3. Admitting your mistakes is the 1st sign that you were pussy-whipped. Use time to harden yourself as a real man, DO YOU, and make "not a single fuck was given that day" your mantra.
Trust me, being an asshole is what women WANT. How many times have women called me one to my face, and consequently they still talk to me to this day, and ask if I miss them.
Oh, lemme add, it might kill you to no end, but for the love of God do not pick up the phone to dial her number, ride by her house, visit the same spots, etc. Purge her existence from your life.
But like the above poster said, it's your mind playing tricks on you. She broke up w/ you, making you feel like something is wrong with you. That's where you f'ed up. You didn't see the writing on the wall. You need to be in control at all times.
if all else fails, put Too $hort on rotation in ya CD deck. You should be Gettin It.
#1. Love @ 24 in 2011 = comedy.
#2. Please bring out the violins for this cat
#3. Admitting your mistakes is the 1st sign that you were pussy-whipped. Use time to harden yourself as a real man, DO YOU, and make "not a single fuck was given that day" your mantra.
Trust me, being an asshole is what women WANT. How many times have women called me one to my face, and consequently they still talk to me to this day, and ask if I miss them.
Oh, lemme add, it might kill you to no end, but for the love of God do not pick up the phone to dial her number, ride by her house, visit the same spots, etc. Purge her existence from your life.
But like the above poster said, it's your mind playing tricks on you. She broke up w/ you, making you feel like something is wrong with you. That's where you f'ed up. You didn't see the writing on the wall. You need to be in control at all times.
if all else fails, put Too $hort on rotation in ya CD deck. You should be Gettin It.
Rick Ronson
Banned
Took my little cheap ass chain back and punched the bitch in the back of her head.
Got my heart broken twice by the same girl. But there was no third time with her or any woman to this day. I got over my own by stacking women like deck of cards all over the world. I treat them with respect but would not let my emotions lead me to be attached in that way. I lived by one word..NEXT!!!
And thats all he needs to know.and remember, another nigga is dickin her down as we speak, she aint thinkin bout yo ass
I fucked and fucked and fucked until I felt better
Rick Ronson
Banned
I will trump all these niggas advice
You would be going through much less trouble if you were winning and focused on that
Pussy and relationships are side bar consolation type shit.
Now go chase that second prize trophy ass bitch you strung out on.
Chemistry is also important in relationships
You would be going through much less trouble if you were winning and focused on that
Pussy and relationships are side bar consolation type shit.
Now go chase that second prize trophy ass bitch you strung out on.
Chemistry is also important in relationships
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man im going to keep it 100% real with you
the first time i got my heart broke, the shit hurt like hell
hell i didnt want to shave, I grew a fro, and i didnt want to leave the house
anyone who says fuck some new pussy and youll be fine is lying their asses off
that shit doesnt work that way
youll fuck a woman and then be repulsed by her the second its over...especially if she tries to cuddle
but anyway man, time is the only thing that gets you past that feeling
each time it hurts less and less tho
dont be one of these fags who completely shuts down emotionally from women since one hurt you though
those cats have a huge void in their lives and they are generally miserable people
youll be alright tho, man
chill with your fam, participate in your hobbies, and youll be fine
but yeah that shit hurts dog!
the first time i got my heart broke, the shit hurt like hell
hell i didnt want to shave, I grew a fro, and i didnt want to leave the house
anyone who says fuck some new pussy and youll be fine is lying their asses off
that shit doesnt work that way
youll fuck a woman and then be repulsed by her the second its over...especially if she tries to cuddle
but anyway man, time is the only thing that gets you past that feeling
each time it hurts less and less tho
dont be one of these fags who completely shuts down emotionally from women since one hurt you though
those cats have a huge void in their lives and they are generally miserable people
youll be alright tho, man
chill with your fam, participate in your hobbies, and youll be fine
but yeah that shit hurts dog!
Yep.
You know how when a female break up with you... you try to sit around and find all of her faults (Physically and Mentally), thinking ALL other niggas see those flaws and won't give her the time of day?
I got news for you... There's some ripped, handsome, and/or paid nigga all up in that phat ass and ain't thinking twice about her chubbiness and craziness. She in love again and sprung out over son too, whether he is or not.
Just keep it moving homes.
he doesnt give a shit if shes 5 minutes or 5 hours late, hes tearing that ass up and not even worrying about it.
truth.com
We all know every nigga on BGOL is a pimp that fucks 4-5 different dimes a week, broads that are finer than the baddest bitches posted on here daily
For most of this year, I was with (1) this really amazing girl. To make a really long story short, (4) her feelings towards me changed over the course of the relationship because of the way I would be at times. (5) Holding on to grudges, (5) not being patient, (5) being too prideful, (5) not being understanding, (5) being quick tempered.. I can honestly say that at times, (6) I was really an asshole to her. Not in the sense that I treated her badly at all.. but for example: (6) if we were meeting up and she was late, 15-20 minutes, no matter the reason, (6) I would just be really mad. I'd talk to her about it and she'd sincerely apologize but (6) I'd stay mad for 20-30 minutes after the fact.. not talking to her at all, instead of just brushing it off and it would just kill the vibe between us after I got over it. There were a lot of other times small things like this happened and it got in the way of us.
(2) I thought because (2) I treated her really well and that because (2) I was always a good boyfriend to her in terms of my actions that my behavior at times would just be overlooked by her but eventually the fighting just became too much and although we had an amazing relationship outside of the bickering, we couldn't get past the bullshit.
Eventually, we broke up and I just haven't been able to shake her off. I'm in university full time, I work part time, I volunteer, kick it with my niggas weekly, I'm always meeting girls at schools and different events, I'm kickin it with these broads, I hoop weekly but my ex is just still on my mind. (1) None of the girls I talk to compare to her at all. (3) I don't even have any interest in these (3) girls, even though a lot of them are (3) fine as hell and really cool. (1) She's always on my mind (SWV syndrome). I was with my one ex for years and when we broke up, I wasn't upset about it like this at all but it's different with this girl.
I know there's cats on the board who's been in my shoes, that's why I'm asking. How did you get over someone that you really loved and cared about?
The stuff in red are the problems I see that are INTERNAL. When you feel as though you have no other OPTIONS, you glorify the past, thinking that there will never be another (fill in the blank).
Here's how I decoded what you said. Match the numbers above with the numbers below:
1. You are glorifying the past as if you have no options in the future. Stop it. You are a man in demand, if for nothing else, the simple reason that it's more of them than it is of us.
2. You act as if this is what women want. You are going off of society's definition of what a man should be. DO YOU. Be yourself at all times and if they wanna stay, they will, if not, f em.
3. String all these together from first to last to see how ridiculous you sound.
4. So what? It's YOUR life, YOUR show, these peeps are just along for the ride. You are placing people on a pedestal. Stop it.
5. You're making excuses for HER. Acquiescing to what you THINK she NEEDS or DESERVES.
6. No, actually you thought that you were getting a point across by acting this way, but it was incongruent with your true nature, which was exposed after a certain length of time. A true asshole doesn't care and acts in HIS best interest.
We all know every nigga on BGOL is a pimp that fucks 4-5 different dimes a week, broads that are finer than the baddest bitches posted on here daily
For most of this year, I was with this really amazing girl. To make a really long story short, her feelings towards me changed over the course of the relationship because of the way I would be at times. Holding on to grudges, not being patient, being too prideful, not being understanding, being quick tempered.. I can honestly say that at times, I was really an asshole to her. Not in the sense that I treated her badly at all.. but for example: if we were meeting up and she was late, 15-20 minutes, no matter the reason, I would just be really mad. I'd talk to her about it and she'd sincerely apologize but I'd stay mad for 20-30 minutes after the fact.. not talking to her at all, instead of just brushing it off and it would just kill the vibe between us after I got over it. There were a lot of other times small things like this happened and it got in the way of us.
I thought because I treated her really well and that because I was always a good boyfriend to her in terms of my actions that my behavior at times would just be overlooked by her but eventually the fighting just became too much and although we had an amazing relationship outside of the bickering, we couldn't get past the bullshit.
Eventually, we broke up and I just haven't been able to shake her off. I'm in university full time, I work part time, I volunteer, kick it with my niggas weekly, I'm always meeting girls at schools and different events, I'm kickin it with these broads, I hoop weekly but my ex is just still on my mind. None of the girls I talk to compare to her at all. I don't even have any interest in these girls, even though a lot of them are fine as hell and really cool. She's always on my mind. I was with my one ex for years and when we broke up, I wasn't upset about it like this at all but it's different with this girl.
I know there's cats on the board who's been in my shoes, that's why I'm asking. How did you get over someone that you really loved and cared about?
Girls aren't dumb, they secure a new guy to avoid loneliness, heartbreak and dry spells. When she broke up with you she had already secured something with a another guy, usually they fuck before they leave you; there's really not much you can do, other than meet someone new asap. If she still likes you after she's done with the next guy, she'll call you, if not, you just stay with a new girl. BTW you contradicted yourself a little in this post. You said BGOL niggas say they always have dimes on deck etc. then you did the same thing in this very post. If you really have all those dimes on deck, start fucking them, you won't care as much anymore. Best of luck man, we're close in age and I live a very similar college lifestyle, so I know how it can be.
When I got my heart broken fucking other girls did help, so I guess it depends on the person. You need someone new to be the first person on your mind. Women know this, that's why they generally protect themselves with a plan B or even a plan C.
Time and dont focus on the bad shit
We all know every nigga on BGOL is a pimp that fucks 4-5 different dimes a week, broads that are finer than the baddest bitches posted on here daily
For most of this year, I was with this really amazing girl. To make a really long story short, her feelings towards me changed over the course of the relationship because of the way I would be at times. Holding on to grudges, not being patient, being too prideful, not being understanding, being quick tempered.. I can honestly say that at times, I was really an asshole to her. Not in the sense that I treated her badly at all.. but for example: if we were meeting up and she was late, 15-20 minutes, no matter the reason, I would just be really mad. I'd talk to her about it and she'd sincerely apologize but I'd stay mad for 20-30 minutes after the fact.. not talking to her at all, instead of just brushing it off and it would just kill the vibe between us after I got over it. There were a lot of other times small things like this happened and it got in the way of us.
I thought because I treated her really well and that because I was always a good boyfriend to her in terms of my actions that my behavior at times would just be overlooked by her but eventually the fighting just became too much and although we had an amazing relationship outside of the bickering, we couldn't get past the bullshit.
Eventually, we broke up and I just haven't been able to shake her off. I'm in university full time, I work part time, I volunteer, kick it with my niggas weekly, I'm always meeting girls at schools and different events, I'm kickin it with these broads, I hoop weekly but my ex is just still on my mind. None of the girls I talk to compare to her at all. I don't even have any interest in these girls, even though a lot of them are fine as hell and really cool. She's always on my mind. I was with my one ex for years and when we broke up, I wasn't upset about it like this at all but it's different with this girl.
I know there's cats on the board who's been in my shoes, that's why I'm asking. How did you get over someone that you really loved and cared about?
By your own admission you were a dick to this woman at times. You also seemed to think that because you were a good dude in general that the bullshit you said and did would and should be excused. That points to a sense of entitlement that many of us guys have at times. Some think that because they have education, a good job, no kids, etc. that women should worship the ground they walk on. That is not the way shit works at all. The good thing about this is that you are still young and willing to learn from your mistakes. That is a point plenty of dudes won't ever get to. This woman seems like someone you really value and miss. You might even want another chance with her, to if nothing else, end things on a better note than you did before. If you can get over the petty shit and stop holding grudges that will help you not only with women, but in life period. Good luck out there playa.
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