Have a female ever said anything to you that blew your mind

I was at Freaknik, '96 I believe, and you know how you talkin to da hoes like "Show me somethin"

Well, it was a of about 4 nice, clean looking college bitches, they pulled over on the side of the road and start showing all they shit, pussy, titties, the whole 9. We filming, taking pics, just lovin the shit.

Then one girl says, "I'll suck yo dicks for $5 dollars"

:eek:

$5 dollars?! Word? Everyone was just fuckin' stunned. A dimepiece going for crackhead prices? Nope. We rolled outta that shit with the quickness.
 
I'm at the breakfast club the morning after I fucked a chick the night before...she ask for a drink of my soda..I take my straw out..bitch flips out and says " I drank ur babies last night now I can't drink out ur straw"






:eek::eek::eek::eek:
:puke::puke::puke:

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
i agree wit u fuck dat i dont even let hoes hit my spliff wit me i either smoke it til im good or roll summn up for 'em
 
I had this chick ask me, "what is your nationality?". I told her my family from Trindad and then she said, "Really, I thought you were black"......








































:hmm:
 
I had a dyke tell me that women shouldn't have sex with men because it is bad for their bodies with all of the pounding they take. She also said (at another time) that she could fuck a woman with her strap-on better than any man. I told her I'd take that challenge but her man-hating ass cussed me out and accused me of trying to fuck her like all men do.
 
What my ex told me after we broke up for a few months
Ex- I'm pregnant
Me- oh for real congrats!
Ex- I'm glad you happy
Me- what does that suppose to mean?!
Ex- (no answer)
Me- Wait I'm the father?
Ex- oh! I'm not telling you
Me- ok well good night

6 months later I'm not the father.
 
BTW...none of these stories are as bad as the ones I hear from the dudes at work with their ex-wives.NOBODY is as evil as a scorned white woman.I think its because white women with kids are more unlikely to be able to attract a second husband.

Example 1: A recently divorced dude got taken back to court by his ex wife because she needed more money to get a boob job that her new boyfriend wanted her to get.

Example 2: A recently divorced dude's wife laughed at him and said "You know Jeremy(his son) isn't yours right? Look at him,he looks nothing like you.Hopefully he takes after his real dad and has a bigger dick than you."
:hmm:
 
I had a dyke tell me that women shouldn't have sex with men because it is bad for their bodies with all of the pounding they take. She also said (at another time) that she could fuck a woman with her strap-on better than any man. I told her I'd take that challenge but her man-hating ass cussed me out and accused me of trying to fuck her like all men do.

Dykes are some of the most jealous and confused people on the planet.
 
I hung out with this Woman I met on Craigslist last week ( I KNOW :puke: SMH)

She had me like :eek: whole time

She's 38 and has 3 children who lives with her who are 21, 19, and 16, all white btw. The 16 year old isn't actually her's, she took her in because her Parents disowned her after finding out she is having a bi-racial baby.

The 21 and 16 year old are dating, the 21 year old is perfectly fine with the baby being biracial and is taking care of her.

Her first Husband who died was 30 years older than her.

Her 2nd Husband who she just got divorced to is 23.

Her fuck buddy is actually her 21 year old Son's buddy. Buddy told the 21 year old sib that he is attracted to his Mother, so the Son proposed to the Mother that they become fuck buddy's because he rather that than his Mom hitting up random men at bars for 1 nighters.

She became super horny after I brushed her thigh a couple of times. I joked around and started rubbing her elbow talking about how sexy it is and she said "if your asking me to have sex, yes I want to take you upstairs and fuck you"

:smh: I forced myself to hit it for my very first BBW experience...If she wasn't so damn fat, it would of been my top ranked sexual experience.

It was my first time experiencing a chick "squirt" :puke: Well I was hitting it from the back, busted and came out. It was delayed and this liquid which was red shot out on bed. :smh::puke:

She was "wwwwwwhoooo, I think you made me squirt" I'm all hesistant, "umm uhh it's red...man their's blood all over me"

Her "Ohhh I was late"

:angry:

Then she started texting me all these lovey dovey text messages and how she cut off her cut buddy already for me.

Glad that's behind me.
 
I hung out with this Woman I met on Craigslist last week ( I KNOW :puke: SMH)

She had me like :eek: whole time

She's 38 and has 3 children who lives with her who are 21, 19, and 16, all white btw. The 16 year old isn't actually her's, she took her in because her Parents disowned her after finding out she is having a bi-racial baby.

The 21 and 16 year old are dating, the 21 year old is perfectly fine with the baby being biracial and is taking care of her.

Her first Husband who died was 30 years older than her.

Her 2nd Husband who she just got divorced to is 23.

Her fuck buddy is actually her 21 year old Son's buddy. Buddy told the 21 year old sib that he is attracted to his Mother, so the Son proposed to the Mother that they become fuck buddy's because he rather that than his Mom hitting up random men at bars for 1 nighters.

She became super horny after I brushed her thigh a couple of times. I joked around and started rubbing her elbow talking about how sexy it is and she said "if your asking me to have sex, yes I want to take you upstairs and fuck you"

:smh: I forced myself to hit it for my very first BBW experience...If she wasn't so damn fat, it would of been my top ranked sexual experience.

It was my first time experiencing a chick "squirt" :puke: Well I was hitting it from the back, busted and came out. It was delayed and this liquid which was red shot out on bed. :smh::puke:

She was "wwwwwwhoooo, I think you made me squirt" I'm all hesistant, "umm uhh it's red...man their's blood all over me"

Her "Ohhh I was late"

:angry:

Then she started texting me all these lovey dovey text messages and how she cut off her cut buddy already for me.

Glad that's behind me.

Sheep_eating.gif
 
I hung out with this Woman I met on Craigslist last week ( I KNOW :puke: SMH)

She had me like :eek: whole time

She's 38 and has 3 children who lives with her who are 21, 19, and 16, all white btw. The 16 year old isn't actually her's, she took her in because her Parents disowned her after finding out she is having a bi-racial baby.

The 21 and 16 year old are dating, the 21 year old is perfectly fine with the baby being biracial and is taking care of her.

Her first Husband who died was 30 years older than her.

Her 2nd Husband who she just got divorced to is 23.

Her fuck buddy is actually her 21 year old Son's buddy. Buddy told the 21 year old sib that he is attracted to his Mother, so the Son proposed to the Mother that they become fuck buddy's because he rather that than his Mom hitting up random men at bars for 1 nighters.

She became super horny after I brushed her thigh a couple of times. I joked around and started rubbing her elbow talking about how sexy it is and she said "if your asking me to have sex, yes I want to take you upstairs and fuck you"

:smh: I forced myself to hit it for my very first BBW experience...If she wasn't so damn fat, it would of been my top ranked sexual experience.

It was my first time experiencing a chick "squirt" :puke: Well I was hitting it from the back, busted and came out. It was delayed and this liquid which was red shot out on bed. :smh::puke:

She was "wwwwwwhoooo, I think you made me squirt" I'm all hesistant, "umm uhh it's red...man their's blood all over me"

Her "Ohhh I was late"

:angry:

Then she started texting me all these lovey dovey text messages and how she cut off her cut buddy already for me.

Glad that's behind me.

:puke::smh::puke:
 
I hung out with this Woman I met on Craigslist last week ( I KNOW :puke: SMH)

She had me like :eek: whole time

She's 38 and has 3 children who lives with her who are 21, 19, and 16, all white btw. The 16 year old isn't actually her's, she took her in because her Parents disowned her after finding out she is having a bi-racial baby.

The 21 and 16 year old are dating, the 21 year old is perfectly fine with the baby being biracial and is taking care of her.

Her first Husband who died was 30 years older than her.

Her 2nd Husband who she just got divorced to is 23.

Her fuck buddy is actually her 21 year old Son's buddy. Buddy told the 21 year old sib that he is attracted to his Mother, so the Son proposed to the Mother that they become fuck buddy's because he rather that than his Mom hitting up random men at bars for 1 nighters.

She became super horny after I brushed her thigh a couple of times. I joked around and started rubbing her elbow talking about how sexy it is and she said "if your asking me to have sex, yes I want to take you upstairs and fuck you"

:smh: I forced myself to hit it for my very first BBW experience...If she wasn't so damn fat, it would of been my top ranked sexual experience.

It was my first time experiencing a chick "squirt" :puke: Well I was hitting it from the back, busted and came out. It was delayed and this liquid which was red shot out on bed. :smh::puke:

She was "wwwwwwhoooo, I think you made me squirt" I'm all hesistant, "umm uhh it's red...man their's blood all over me"

Her "Ohhh I was late"

:angry:

Then she started texting me all these lovey dovey text messages and how she cut off her cut buddy already for me.

Glad that's behind me.

An old fat bloody squirter.... hm



The visual is really making me nauseous. :puke:
 
-a few months ago,this other chic i met said,"lets make a deal,if you dont settle down in the next 3 years,lets have a baby together.":rolleyes:that was before we evn went out on a date,we had only talked on the phone a few times and i passed by her job and chit chatted.

yo ive gotten variations of this talk by 3 different women...the first 2 were on some marriage shit..no talk about getting them preggo..but the last one - my last ex - was like if she doesn't find anyone by the time she turns 28-29 that regardless if im still in a relationship (and my gf will have to understand:smh::lol:)or not she wants me to knock her up..i laughed but she was dead serious and reiterated it after saying "you know i love you more than anything"....she turns 28 next june :hmm: still single (although dating a separated man whose wife actually wants to get back together with him :smh:)....although we broke up on good terms this is why ive only seen her once since i got into my current relationship in august, 2009 and that was to just exchange christmas gifts lol..gotta keep my distance
 
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I remember I brought this brand new chic to my spot to cook for me which is rare...I hardly let new chics in my spot much less fuck around in my kitchen...so I said shit I don't even know you while she cooking...you could have a gun in your pockets for all I know...so she said search me...so I felt up her ass and shit for a while and then stopped...then she says you didn't search my panties...yo like I said I had just met shorty so I wasn't expecting shit to jump off that fast...it took a split sec for what she said to register hahhaaha but I unbuckled her shit and search her panties and inside her pussy as well hahhaha all the while she still cooking...but she killed me w/ that line tho
 
I had a "pact" like that w/ a chic it was for if we both hit 35 w/ no kids or spouses...I can't find her tho to know how she is doing on her end hahahhha...don't wanna have a baby yet but I wouldn't mind hitting it again

-a few months ago,this other chic i met said,"lets make a deal,if you dont settle down in the next 3 years,lets have a baby together.":rolleyes:that was before we evn went out on a date,we had only talked on the phone a few times and i passed by her job and chit chatted.
 
Got another one....


Chick tells me she tried to beat her dude home, but was unable... He's lying on the floor as she rushes to restroom to jump in the shower ... Mind u her and her dudes hasn't really been fucking... Bitch told me her dude ask her y is her pussy so wet?


I spent an hour asking her how he knew ur pussy was wet.....


She said "it was running down my leg" Bgol fam is this normal? Before her, I didn't think pussy would get so wet it would drool....:eek::eek::eek::eek:
 
one day i was hangin with this chick i used to work with and she asked me if i wanted to have "non sex". i was like :confused:. she was like come here. she takes her pants off asks me if i have a condom. i'm like hell yeah. i put the shit on and she starts to ride me. we fuck and she nuts like a faucet. we get dressed and we chill' like nuthin happened. so i ask her what's " non sex" she's like " it's when i fuck you" "it dont count if you fuckin me" :hmm:

we had "non sex" a few more times:lol:
 
Man the things chics say to initiate sex and/or convince themselves they are not cheating or not sluts is hilarious...this 1 chic who was "involved" our sexual encounters started w/ her asking me to determine if her breasts was lopsided bcuz she just noticed it "the other day" and it was bothering her...bitch had a straight face too

one day i was hangin with this chick i used to work with and she asked me if i wanted to have "non sex". i was like :confused:. she was like come here. she takes her pants off asks me if i have a condom. i'm like hell yeah. i put the shit on and she starts to ride me. we fuck and she nuts like a faucet. we get dressed and we chill' like nuthin happened. so i ask her what's " non sex" she's like " it's when i fuck you" "it dont count if you fuckin me" :hmm:

we had "non sex" a few more times:lol:
 
Man the things chics say to initiate sex and/or convince themselves they are not cheating or not sluts is hilarious...this 1 chic who was "involved" our sexual encounters started w/ her asking me to determine if her breasts was lopsided bcuz she just noticed it "the other day" and it was bothering her...bitch had a straight face too

word. some of these chicks are fuckin looney.
 
Broad told me that if a nigga fucks her with a condom on...she doesn't consider it cheating on her husband. WTF??? :smh:
 
Broad told me that if a nigga fucks her with a condom on...she doesn't consider it cheating on her husband. WTF??? :smh:

yeah the reminds me of a chick i went to school wit......we were all drinkin at one of their apartments chillin. one of the other dudes in there cracked a joke sayin that was "ass backwards" no pun intended.......well everyone kinda chuckled and i tried to act like nothin was goin on but the way she looked at me i knew sthn was goin on that i knew nothin about.

well.....the dude that cracked the joke looks at me like....u don't know? sh*t u might as well jump on it in now......the chick they were jokin wit let a dude f*ck her in the a** repeatedly because she wanted to remain a "virgin"

:confused: :smh:

crazy thing about it..........she was slim tall nice and sexy as hell.

what r these h*es learnin?!?!
 
I hung out with this Woman I met on Craigslist last week ( I KNOW :puke: SMH)

She had me like :eek: whole time

She's 38 and has 3 children who lives with her who are 21, 19, and 16, all white btw. The 16 year old isn't actually her's, she took her in because her Parents disowned her after finding out she is having a bi-racial baby.

The 21 and 16 year old are dating, the 21 year old is perfectly fine with the baby being biracial and is taking care of her.

Her first Husband who died was 30 years older than her.

Her 2nd Husband who she just got divorced to is 23.

Her fuck buddy is actually her 21 year old Son's buddy. Buddy told the 21 year old sib that he is attracted to his Mother, so the Son proposed to the Mother that they become fuck buddy's because he rather that than his Mom hitting up random men at bars for 1 nighters.

She became super horny after I brushed her thigh a couple of times. I joked around and started rubbing her elbow talking about how sexy it is and she said "if your asking me to have sex, yes I want to take you upstairs and fuck you"

:smh: I forced myself to hit it for my very first BBW experience...If she wasn't so damn fat, it would of been my top ranked sexual experience.

It was my first time experiencing a chick "squirt" :puke: Well I was hitting it from the back, busted and came out. It was delayed and this liquid which was red shot out on bed. :smh::puke:

She was "wwwwwwhoooo, I think you made me squirt" I'm all hesistant, "umm uhh it's red...man their's blood all over me"

Her "Ohhh I was late"

:angry:

Then she started texting me all these lovey dovey text messages and how she cut off her cut buddy already for me.

Glad that's behind me.

HOLD THE FUCK UP!!! You posted this shit yet call me a fag for not lusting after a pretend to be straight, fake ass having, fake hair wearing dyke??? :cool::cool:

Whatever, man, whatever. Do you, I'mma do me.
 
a long while back probably early 90's in my young playa days..while at a bar fucked around and spilled some beer in this female lap after being bumped into and this bitch ask me did i want to lick it up...bitch flashed me the pussy which she didn't have no panties on and before u know it i was at my house well mama's house tearin' that pussy up a bad older lightshkinned mutherfucca too....my young ass wouldn't no more than 21 or 22 at the time that shit blew my mind for a long ass time only thing i remember about that bitch was she was in her early 30's from pennsylvania visiting relatives in south carolina..and still to this day i get the chills thinkin about that night

:itsawrap: :yes:
 
"I have no gag reflex...gaaaaaaaaacccckckkckckslurp!"
*Damn...now I need to call her...*

"You can stick it in my ass just don't tell me when you're going to do it...just stick it in there..."

"You're so sexy......I want to suck your dick right NOW!" *This said outdoors not too far from the front entrance to a restaurant. I let her...
 
"Why would a man cheat on me...just look at me!"
"Can you believe after I gave him some pussy, he wouldn't feed me?"
"Men cheat because they are dogs, it has nothing to do with better pussy or a better personality!"
 
Re: Nominated for One of the illest post of the year.....

peace


.......easily :lol:
Playa2422004 said:
this thread is interestin on many levels
bump :dance:
True Indeed & HAD to add on just because.:lol:
Wish I didnt but am happy I can


Heard alot & some just too damn long to explain & play out especially after a recent back & forth with this dumb assed bird I had to remove myself from even knowing Forever even though it was via text after analyzing yrs of her ways & actions lol :smh: Some of the things said, done as well as experiences, u'd think the chick was brain damaged/metally developementally disfunctional & may be from all the bip bops she let her bitch ass exes do beating that ass (where I truly think she enjoyed it & stayed with him/them for a long, long time[7-10 yrs, 3 yrs respectively])
Im talking about getting slapped so hard, people INSIDE of homes can hear shit outside; or letting someother pussy nikka stalk, threaten, put marks on, yet try & play out kats who showed her love, positive vibes & DIDNT beat on that ass.....

@ least y'all SEE chicks snorting girl/boy/pills/whatdafuckever & Saying they need that ass beat or 'controlled' this One didnt but I think does:smh: but tries to front like not so:angry:
Certifiable.

Hmmm
Chick who was on the pill, who got vexed @ me early during the relations when I stopped to put a rubber on while fucking in the car back in the day in a rest area onthe side of the WSideHwy (where I had to fuck the fake eye rolling, screwfaced attitude up out of her & I had a girl & she knew it) told me she got pregnant, crying & apologizing. After the procedure, she wanted me to fuck her again & I did. Nothing said actually but:hmm:

Chick (introduced to me by my man who smashed & wanted to put her to work) left her son in the A with her Moms for the wkend to up north to the TriState NY area 'because she was curious'; smashed all diff types of ways on sight (Scorp chick with same born day, my 1st:cool:) for wknd naturally, thentook her ass back down to the A; Called me from some other kats crib, talking about "I told so & so what I did {going up there]" blablabla, "Am I a hoe?":hmm:
Im saying to myself, is this dude/dudes in that crib on the fucking phone with her?
PROBABLY is currently on one of y'all kats in the A's roster/rotation, fucking around as she is a massage therapist.


Straight hood youngirl jumpoff with a few seeds who used to text me literally "WhatsGoodForTonight?" type shit religiously on wkends, fucked around and got a man who was making her call motherfuckers in her phone while he was sitting there;
I cant even remember what she said it was so mind blowing.
She also said my other man fucked around & ran his mouth, blowing up her spot, when she actually told her man.
Had to close that chapter of my life, fuck outta here.


Dick & Sensi 'drunk' chick telling me how whatever my shit was & is when bent or whatever in the zone while we took a quick break from fucking. She also showed me the palm prints on that ass I left & wasnt sure if she was mad or proud:dunno:

Stupid ass chicks back in the 90s who SAID they wanted to feel it intheir ass, all curious until we actually tried it:lol:
Still remember how one chick was wriggling with discomfort on the bed:lol:

Had a milf who sounds very similar to the one y'all mentioned with them grown kids who had hella drama, divorced twice & fucked around & called her 3rd seed Justus - why do u think; good chick who said once, "Why Not just be a whore for your man" but couldnt bump into a good one. A Very Good chick with a fatty that I lost contact with.

A chick sayin she has a gag reflex bad yet trying to go as deep as possible on my joint:hmm:

"It felt like I was pregnant by you" - translation in hood talk, Our intimate contacts were so extreme & we became so close, its like I feel u control me, u have me in some sort of trance possible:hmm: in love:eek::smh::smh:.:hmm::lol:
Also straight up & down, curled up to me & called me "Daddy" yet told some kat later after when we were done that I was too controlling when I never was, just controlling her shit around me;

Even got mad when I diffused her wanting to start an argument by logically breaking shit down, unravelling her point n4 she could while burning a 'rillo; same chick tried to jump or ACT LIKE she was gonna jump out of my moving car when I was trying to make a point to her; plus yelled "ITS OT SUPPOSED TO GO DOWN LIKE THAT" when I got up out of her car avoiding an argument with her; I think she literally said she went to the place where Mariah Careychecked herself into to 'have someone to talk to'; know that she also got choked by a cop for running her trap during a strike @ her job excessively.

An Ex called me from Tx, driving her drop BM, crying, saying, "Am I THAT Bad" after her man down there choked the shit out of her.

Same chick thought she was trying to swing on me when I wasnt paying her any mind when she tried to argue with me &I ignored her then told her I was going out to a party; left her in my crib (my mistake:angry:), came back & she destroyed all my lil trinkets from our relationship I was keeping;
she was dropped off @ the bus station after the quickest silent drive to Philly from NY ever recorded after midnight; sick shit is her Pops already bodied her Moms then himself when she was a shorty; good hrearted chick I wish the best.


FroshMe -"Fuck You"
SrHer-"Fuck You!"
Me-"Fuck You LOL"
Hr -"Nah Fuck You"
Me-Where?
Hr-Here!
Me-When?
Her-Now!"

Phone hangs up, creeps across campus & 0ff campus about
{5 min drive/20-25 min walk, record breaking time}.

Did NOT Know later that her man used to set her out & want to watch this chick get fucked while he was there & this bitch was bad as fuck, LI chick - brownin, curly hair, fat lil ass, straight freak - chicks are throwing weaves & shit in their shit to try & look like she did back in the 80s &90s now.

"I ....can't....believe...we....we're...fucking....& ....talking....@ the ....same ...time"
& wasnt even fucking her @ the time when she said that.



BEGGING me to fuck while waiting for the bus @ GWB port authority.


Also said she knew the people/person a few seats up from the last seat

"When I kiss u, it makes me wanna do it but dont make me wana do it":hmm: Okay..

"Want some (more) pussy?"
{Sink full to the hilt with dishes, pots & pans, roaches crawling up out, around corners up into the bthrm) - Shorty had a principle becuz she was moving beefing wih the landlord/owner or some shit but do I want some more pussy:hmm: Nah I was good; Wish her the best too.


Of Course dealt with a chick who said that
"If we're not with anyone by whatever age, let's have a baby"
Which later was followed by her looking for an admission to NOT have anything to do with my child if she had it:hmm:


In some pjs one night in the 90s
"I want u to fuck me really, really, really Hard"
Think her grandma & auntie were coaching her on how to get/take my dick as she was trying to explain to me another time how she was gonna ride me & needed to open that pussy up a certain way so she could:dunno:
Used to get mad when I Didnt bust up in her:rolleyes:
Those were the days
90s 20 something pill taking cutie chicks with fat lil asses who smoked Ls & cigs:hmm::smh:

Pulled the car over & looked out the window like someone was watching & said, "I luv this guy" self justifying her sucking my dick when she sid she wasnt the type of chick who was all about that but was the same authoor of "feel like Im preggo by u" from above:hmm:
Think she also was trying to explain how BustaRhymes was looking DEAD @ her & ONLY her & went to get her or some shit after a show, sporting her backstage smoking or some dumb shit;
hood model type chick who thought her shit aint stink but thought was special & head got bigger when got attn paid to her; he should have hit it if he didnt, fuck all that dumb shit.

As the blue marble spins @ that approximately 1037 1/3rd mph
ItIsWhatItDO


RAISE YOUR DAUGHTERS RIGHT OR ELSE


peace
 
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Got another one....


Chick tells me she tried to beat her dude home, but was unable... He's lying on the floor as she rushes to restroom to jump in the shower ... Mind u her and her dudes hasn't really been fucking... Bitch told me her dude ask her y is her pussy so wet?


I spent an hour asking her how he knew ur pussy was wet.....


She said "it was running down my leg" Bgol fam is this normal? Before her, I didn't think pussy would get so wet it would drool....:eek::eek::eek::eek:

that was someone elses nut!!!
 
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