Keep the porn game cycle fluid. One of U CACs or simp niggas step up and take one for the home team.
Pregnant Porn Star Needs Help says Shelley Lubben
From Shelley Lubben
Written by Nyesha
Many days I sit and wonder at what point I lost control of my life and put it
in the hands of porn valley agents. Many girls in porn come from backgrounds
of drugged filled homes, have been beat or raped.
My story is a little different. Growing up my household at times was filled
with domestic violence but my parents stayed together and it seemed to
rarely effect my sister and I. I went to church weekly, involved in beauty
pageants, Cheerleading, dance , girl scouts and had all the material things a
young girl could ask for. That soon all changed when my mom decided to
leave our dad and our household income changed for the worst. There was a
time when we lived with different family members, would be low on food and
even got kicked out of our apartment.
The winter of 2004 due to money issues we lost our condo and were forced
to live in a house that was filled with drugs and crime. I was dating a great
guy at the time and his house became my safe heaven but that relationship
soon ended. My sister and I moved and I became a hooters girl but still
wasn’t making enough money for rent and school so I start stripping but only
for a few weeks.
Looking in the news paper I saw an ad seeking swim suit models and I
decided to go in for a test shoot and the next day the agent called and said
he had a shoot for me which would pay $600 and all I had to do was go
topless. So, I did. After that came solo work and eventually BG (boy-girl)
scenes. I hated this guy and how dirty I felt when he touched me. He would
book me at least once a week and I needed the money so I sucked my pride
up and ignored the wrong I was doing. Needing more money to be on my own
I posted photos on sexy jobs not knowing this would be the biggest mistake
of my life.
The following morning my phone was blowing up with offers. I did my first
scene not knowing anything and started flying across the map each week,
booked everyday and made a nice sum of money. I soon started missing
class, quit cheer and knowing that I hated what I was doing I kept shooting
only looking at the money.
I would cry on the set and scrub my skin so hard after scenes because I felt
dirty and just hated myself and how I was being treated. I couldn’t sleep at
night and began taking up to twenty pills a week! While in porn I had money
stolen from me from the agent I had. I did scenes for cheap rates and was
told that if I canceled a scene I would have to pay a kill fee so at times I
was forced to do stuff I didn’t want to do.
The first time I did a swallowing scene and facial I was forced. They waited
to the very end to tell me. It was only my second time doing porn.
My worst day was when I was forced to use a sponge to do a scene
because it was already booked and my monthly came early I had never did
anything like this. The sponge was pushed so far and got stuck that I had to
be taken to the hospital I had caught a infection and they had to open me
up to remove the sponge. I wasn’t able to work for a few weeks and the
agent stole two of my checks to replace the money he didn’t get from me
leaving me broke and without food. I was threatened by other girls that if I
didn’t do the parties the agent set up I would stopped being booked, and
would have to find a place to live.
The worst mistake I made was allowing my 18 year old sister
Raven Sky to get into porn
. She started partying,
hanging with the wrong people and did everything I stayed away from. She
left porn when she became pregnant with her daughter who is truly a
blessing and changed her life for the better. She did a few scenes but I am
proud to say she’s in college doing great and now porn/drug FREE!! I soon
quit porn myself and should have stayed gone…
I went back to school and tried to get control of my life again got back into
cheerleading, dating a new guy but deep down was still depressed and
needing money again. I turned to private dates because I thought it would
be easier then porn but it was all wrong and dirty. I went back to porn and
decided to get a female agent hoping things would be better because she
said I would have more control over my career.
NONE of this happened and I was booked out, not sleeping, going to club
events and my life was a mess again and sleeping pills ruled my life. I was a
well known escort making good money but deep down it wasn’t me. I didn’t
own my life anymore. Porn, money and sex did. VERY nasty and untrue
rumors started to spread around about me around the same time I also found
out I was pregnant and I do blame all the traveling, stress and crazy life
style I was living for the loss of my baby. I slumped into an attitude and
became very depressed but hid it with material things. I covered my swollen
eyes from crying with makeup, smiling on the outside when I really wanted to
just end my life.
I recently did my last scene and walked away from it all having nothing. I
struggled for awhile with money, having a normal relationship and just finding
myself again. Not only did I lose myself but I lost friends and family. I found
out in the Spring that I was pregnant and from that moment on I knew I had
to fight to keep my life safe from porn, escorting and sex.
My baby is due very soon and though I won’t be able to give he/she right
now or all the things a newborn needs he/she will have the love of a pure
clean mom that he/she can be proud of and look up to. I wake up knowing
that my life is changing for the better and although times are hard due to
being on bed rest for a high risk pregnancy I have turned down all private
work and offers for pregnant porn, I will never go back to that lifestyle.
Yes the money was great but it didn’t make up for all the pain and trouble
my body has went through. I’ve decided that all any help and knowledge
that I receive from the Pink Cross I will use it someday to help other girls
who are also caught up in the porn life style and believe they can’t survive
without porn.
Thank you to Shelley and everyone at the Pink Cross who give girls like me
hope and a new out look at life. Thank you to any of you who offer to help
me and my baby.
Nyesha
PLEASE HELP NYESHA WHO IS PREGNANT AND ON BED REST BY DONATING SECURELY ONLINE AT www.thepinkcross.org
SHE REALLY NEEDS OUR HELP ASAP. SHE NEEDS RENT, FOOD, BABY SUPPLIES, STROLLER, ETC… PLEASE HAVE A HEART AND HELP HER. THANK YOU FOR CARING!
Pregnant Porn Star Needs Help says Shelley Lubben
From Shelley Lubben
Written by Nyesha
Many days I sit and wonder at what point I lost control of my life and put it
in the hands of porn valley agents. Many girls in porn come from backgrounds
of drugged filled homes, have been beat or raped.
My story is a little different. Growing up my household at times was filled
with domestic violence but my parents stayed together and it seemed to
rarely effect my sister and I. I went to church weekly, involved in beauty
pageants, Cheerleading, dance , girl scouts and had all the material things a
young girl could ask for. That soon all changed when my mom decided to
leave our dad and our household income changed for the worst. There was a
time when we lived with different family members, would be low on food and
even got kicked out of our apartment.
The winter of 2004 due to money issues we lost our condo and were forced
to live in a house that was filled with drugs and crime. I was dating a great
guy at the time and his house became my safe heaven but that relationship
soon ended. My sister and I moved and I became a hooters girl but still
wasn’t making enough money for rent and school so I start stripping but only
for a few weeks.
Looking in the news paper I saw an ad seeking swim suit models and I
decided to go in for a test shoot and the next day the agent called and said
he had a shoot for me which would pay $600 and all I had to do was go
topless. So, I did. After that came solo work and eventually BG (boy-girl)
scenes. I hated this guy and how dirty I felt when he touched me. He would
book me at least once a week and I needed the money so I sucked my pride
up and ignored the wrong I was doing. Needing more money to be on my own
I posted photos on sexy jobs not knowing this would be the biggest mistake
of my life.
The following morning my phone was blowing up with offers. I did my first
scene not knowing anything and started flying across the map each week,
booked everyday and made a nice sum of money. I soon started missing
class, quit cheer and knowing that I hated what I was doing I kept shooting
only looking at the money.
I would cry on the set and scrub my skin so hard after scenes because I felt
dirty and just hated myself and how I was being treated. I couldn’t sleep at
night and began taking up to twenty pills a week! While in porn I had money
stolen from me from the agent I had. I did scenes for cheap rates and was
told that if I canceled a scene I would have to pay a kill fee so at times I
was forced to do stuff I didn’t want to do.
The first time I did a swallowing scene and facial I was forced. They waited
to the very end to tell me. It was only my second time doing porn.
My worst day was when I was forced to use a sponge to do a scene
because it was already booked and my monthly came early I had never did
anything like this. The sponge was pushed so far and got stuck that I had to
be taken to the hospital I had caught a infection and they had to open me
up to remove the sponge. I wasn’t able to work for a few weeks and the
agent stole two of my checks to replace the money he didn’t get from me
leaving me broke and without food. I was threatened by other girls that if I
didn’t do the parties the agent set up I would stopped being booked, and
would have to find a place to live.
The worst mistake I made was allowing my 18 year old sister
Raven Sky to get into porn
. She started partying, hanging with the wrong people and did everything I stayed away from. She
left porn when she became pregnant with her daughter who is truly a
blessing and changed her life for the better. She did a few scenes but I am
proud to say she’s in college doing great and now porn/drug FREE!! I soon
quit porn myself and should have stayed gone…
I went back to school and tried to get control of my life again got back into
cheerleading, dating a new guy but deep down was still depressed and
needing money again. I turned to private dates because I thought it would
be easier then porn but it was all wrong and dirty. I went back to porn and
decided to get a female agent hoping things would be better because she
said I would have more control over my career.
NONE of this happened and I was booked out, not sleeping, going to club
events and my life was a mess again and sleeping pills ruled my life. I was a
well known escort making good money but deep down it wasn’t me. I didn’t
own my life anymore. Porn, money and sex did. VERY nasty and untrue
rumors started to spread around about me around the same time I also found
out I was pregnant and I do blame all the traveling, stress and crazy life
style I was living for the loss of my baby. I slumped into an attitude and
became very depressed but hid it with material things. I covered my swollen
eyes from crying with makeup, smiling on the outside when I really wanted to
just end my life.
I recently did my last scene and walked away from it all having nothing. I
struggled for awhile with money, having a normal relationship and just finding
myself again. Not only did I lose myself but I lost friends and family. I found
out in the Spring that I was pregnant and from that moment on I knew I had
to fight to keep my life safe from porn, escorting and sex.
My baby is due very soon and though I won’t be able to give he/she right
now or all the things a newborn needs he/she will have the love of a pure
clean mom that he/she can be proud of and look up to. I wake up knowing
that my life is changing for the better and although times are hard due to
being on bed rest for a high risk pregnancy I have turned down all private
work and offers for pregnant porn, I will never go back to that lifestyle.
Yes the money was great but it didn’t make up for all the pain and trouble
my body has went through. I’ve decided that all any help and knowledge
that I receive from the Pink Cross I will use it someday to help other girls
who are also caught up in the porn life style and believe they can’t survive
without porn.
Thank you to Shelley and everyone at the Pink Cross who give girls like me
hope and a new out look at life. Thank you to any of you who offer to help
me and my baby.
Nyesha
PLEASE HELP NYESHA WHO IS PREGNANT AND ON BED REST BY DONATING SECURELY ONLINE AT www.thepinkcross.org
SHE REALLY NEEDS OUR HELP ASAP. SHE NEEDS RENT, FOOD, BABY SUPPLIES, STROLLER, ETC… PLEASE HAVE A HEART AND HELP HER. THANK YOU FOR CARING!
