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Ask a black man a question thread (for the ladies that want to know)

jjUSTAZZ said:
I'm loving your sig.... :yes: Just saying...
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Thanks!!

OnyxFemme said:
THIS PIC IS HOT!!!!!!!!!!!! SIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:eek:
0v7ujqn25m7qnpelp3xv.jpg
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This would make a hott sig!!! Hmmm....

mpthaking89 said:
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but most of the problems

women have with men is usually THEIR faults. I think it's

because of how naive almost all women are. Women do not realize

how much power they have over men. You pick and choose who you

decide to have sex with. You pick and choose how long you want

to stay in a relationship with a man (how often do you hear

about a man breaking up with a woman? Exactly, it's rare). I do

not get how a grown woman will continue to keep dating these

losers guys and not learn to pick up on the type of bad men that

are out there. Lol some of ya'll really got some nerve to come

on here and complain. Men are not that complicated. Initially,

we will want to have sex with ANY woman we find attractive. If

she is a decent girl with a good head on her shoulders, we will

procede to become serious with this woman and we will continue

to chase this woman. (THIS IS HOW YOU KNOW IF A GUY IS REALLY

INTERESTED IN YOU) Now, the man will still want to fuck you or

else he would'nt talk to you..sorry..that's just how guys

operate, but if you can honestly say you are a decent and level

headed girl AND you haven't given up the pussy yet AND this man

is still chasing you and trying to do nice things for you and

being respectful to you, THAT MEANS HE's INTO YOU!! Is that so

hard to understand?? no. Women do it the other way around. They

have to feel emotionally connected to a guy before she gets into a relationship with him and wants to have sex. Guys want an attractive, decent kind girl that they want to fuck, but want her to make HIM feel like he's the only guy she wants.

Woman!! stop being so dumb! If a guy isn't making you happy just call it off with him cause he most likely won't break up with you... and don't compromise for nothing less until you get a better guy than the last one you had.
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By that definition, men wouldn't necessarily cheat right? If you are level headed, cool, and attractive, and he chased your ass and wants you in a relationship, why do some men cheat on the good girls?

Is it the girls fault then too?

Guys chase good girls to get the pussy, guys stay chasing good girls to continue to get the pussy, this doesn't mean he is into the girl beyond the pussy.
 
mzmillion said:
Thanks!!
By that definition, men wouldn't necessarily cheat right? If you are level headed, cool, and attractive, and he chased your ass and wants you in a relationship, why do some men cheat on the good girls?

Is it the girls fault then too?

Guys chase good girls to get the pussy, guys stay chasing good girls to continue to get the pussy, this doesn't mean he is into the girl beyond the pussy.
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For the most part mpthaking98 is right, although a little more blunt than women want to hear. Bear in mind that these are all generalizations, but women have much more control over their relationships than they are willing to admit, and need to make better decisions concerning the men they get involved with.

Now more directly to your question/statement, yes you can be the bomb female and still get cheated on, but it should only happen to you once (maybe twice if you're a gambler). But here again, if this is a guy you're REALLY interested in, then you need to probe him on his past relationships as much as possible. You also need to let him know UPFRONT that if you are in a closed relationship that you aren't the typical female he may be used to, and will tolerate none of the bullshit and drama. You then need to walk your talk.

Is this a foolproof plan? Of course not, but it will let you know where you stand.

Please be honest with yourselves. Not only do women NOT like hearing the truth, they lie to themselves about the kind of person they really are (men do this too). If you've got baggage, attitude problems, lazy, gold-digging, overweight, gullible, low self-esteem...... whatever, acknowledge it, own it, and work to make it better. You AND he will be happier for it. Again, generalizations

One last thing, and please don't take this as bashing, because that's not what this is. You want honesty, this is it, constructively.
 
Harbinger said:
For the most part mpthaking98 is right, although a little more blunt than women want to hear. Bear in mind that these are all generalizations, but women have much more control over their relationships than they are willing to admit, and need to make better decisions concerning the men they get involved with.

Now more directly to your question/statement, yes you can be the bomb female and still get cheated on, but it should only happen to you once (maybe twice if you're a gambler). But here again, if this is a guy you're REALLY interested in, then you need to probe him on his past relationships as much as possible. You also need to let him know UPFRONT that if you are in a closed relationship that you aren't the typical female he may be used to, and will tolerate none of the bullshit and drama. You then need to walk your talk. And if it is a man of status and means you better be prepared to offer ,on a consistent bases, something on par or better than what he had to give up to be with you. "Not tonight" is not going to work for a man who can get it "any night".:hmm:
Is this a foolproof plan? Of course not, but it will let you know where you stand.

Please be honest with yourselves. Not only do women NOT like hearing the truth, they lie to themselves about the kind of person they really are (men do this too). If you've got baggage, attitude problems, lazy, gold-digging, overweight, gullible, low self-esteem...... whatever, acknowledge it, own it, and work to make it better. You AND he will be happier for it. Again, generalizations

One last thing, and please don't take this as bashing, because that's not what this is. You want honesty, this is it, constructively.
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FIXED
Just wanted to add that playa. Every thing else you said was pretty much on point.


*two cents*
 
SEXY_SCORPIO said:
Great thread so far.:yes:


Why is it when you break up with someone or they break up with you,they still try to catch an attitude if you are dating someone? I mean like questioning who you are talking to,etc...Then when you bring up the fact that you aren't together,they go into asshole mode.:smh::hmm:
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I'll ask ya mammy and get back to you.
 
BrownTurd said:
How is saying you should have put some cheese on it disrespectful:dunno: Now I am not trying to categorize and say all women do this...but I hear women say often that they want their man to be honest with them. This guy was being honest. Women wonder why men lie.:hmm: Because if we tell the truth just like in your reply... privileges and other things get cut off. Now yall making the brotha eat some nasty as lasagna over and over again because if he tells the truth shit will start to get cut off.:smh: It seem like some women would have preferred him to have lied and said baby this was the bomb. Simple remedy....just put some more cheese on it
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If that's the general viewpoint nowadays then common courtesy is dead. If all it needed was a few more ounces of cheese then it wasn't "nasty". I don't get it, people get 90% of what they want on the first try and still aren't satisfied. I would see that scenario as having a woman willing to learn and do new things to move the relationship forward. If anybody can't figure out that's a big positive then they aren't paying attention to the possibilities. Complaining about a couple ounces of cheese may have closed the door to her willing to catch one, or 2, or a list of other possibilities. But y'all go ahead and complain about the 10% that's not quite right. Doesn't make sense to me, but I am getting a fuller understanding on the real issue's between today's men and women.
 
Ok so what about a man whos baby mom is totally in control as if he is her bitch? Has to babysit every night at 11 so can never sleep over, can never have date at night, has to ask her permission to do anything or go anywhere! Cannot even go upstate for 2 days unless she says ok(which she never does)! She is like the fuhrer and she does whatever she wants and he just goes along with it but its like he in prison :confused:
 
BigUnc said:
If that's the general viewpoint nowadays then common courtesy is dead. If all it needed was a few more ounces of cheese then it wasn't "nasty". I don't get it, people get 90% of what they want on the first try and still aren't satisfied. I would see that scenario as having a woman willing to learn and do new things to move the relationship forward. If anybody can't figure out that's a big positive then they aren't paying attention to the possibilities. Complaining about a couple ounces of cheese may have closed the door to her willing to catch one, or 2, or a list of other possibilities. But y'all go ahead and complain about the 10% that's not quite right. Doesn't make sense to me, but I am getting a fuller understanding on the real issue's between today's men and women.
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But the dude was not complaining. He simple said to put some more cheese on it:dunno: No need to get offended by that
 
mzmillion, I am not implying that men just only wanna fuck and leave. If you offer something different to the table and you seem like a good woman, a good man will want to stay in a relationship with you. Either way, good man, bad man. ALL men initially want to have sex with you when they first meet you ( that is, if you're attractive).
 
bigirl said:
Ok so what about a man whos baby mom is totally in control as if he is her bitch? Has to babysit every night at 11 so can never sleep over, can never have date at night, has to ask her permission to do anything or go anywhere! Cannot even go upstate for 2 days unless she says ok(which she never does)! She is like the fuhrer and she does whatever she wants and he just goes along with it but its like he in prison :confused:
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because child support is a bitch. Sometimes you just have to ignore a crazy baby momma
 
mpthaking89 said:
mzmillion, I am not implying that men just only wanna fuck and leave. If you offer something different to the table and you seem like a good woman, a good man will want to stay in a relationship with you. Either way, good man, bad man. ALL men initially want to have sex with you when they first meet you ( that is, if you're attractive).
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Some woman rather believe in that dream of them being special. But like you said. Men view all woman the same initially. Whether she sleep with him the first night or 3 months later...it really does not matter because the guy already made up in his mind if he wants to just fuck or a relationship
 
okay if it's a random chick I see out in public..since I don't know her very

well...the thing that would bring to introducing myself and talking to her is me being

sexually attracted to her. I will not talk to her for any other personal reasons. Now if

it's a girl that I'm cool with or became cool with and I'm digging her personality like

crazy, but prior to knowing her I wasn't sexually attracted to her( not that she would be

ugly to begin with, but somewhere in the middle), it will then bring that sexual spark out of me and I will then become sexually attracted to her.
 
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BrownTurd said:
But the dude was not complaining. He simple said to put some more cheese on it:dunno: No need to get offended by that
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I know , on it's face it seems a minor thing but the receiver of the message didn't take it that way and shit is now all effed up. Avoid the drama by giving a dose of courtesy and mention it sometime later in a more casual environment if the amount of cheese in the dish means that much to a person.

If it was me, a thanks this shows alot, accompanied by a big ole smile with a hug and kiss , sat down and gobbled down my almost perfect home cooked meal,then left it at that. Of course my mind would be racing regarding all the possibilities that need to be explored now that she has signaled that she wants to move forward. Try it one day and see where it gets you. Definitely won't hurt any.
 
i hear on this board and the main one that women do a terrible job in picking men...being that most black men arent "thugs" and for the sake of this question assume that the general standard is the potential man has a job, his own car and place...how does a woman do a proper job in "vetting" a man...what questions should she ask? how long should it take till she figures out hes ok and award him the privileges (and by privilages i mean more than sex)

i wanna explore this whole hunter thing...specifically the CHASE...how does a woman know the line between entertaining the chase and pushing the man away...should a woman play along with the chase or just let it happen?

does a man need his ego stroked?

how come men who like dogs dont like little dogs?

should a woman be concerned if a man has no close male friends?

whats the best way to get a man to listen?

why do men act like asshats...disappear for a month...then try to come back like nothing happened?

why do men think its gay to get their prostate massaged by a woman?

why do men like to eat after sex?

whats the quickest way to make a man's heart melt?

would you enjoyed it if a woman stimulated your penis with something cold and warm at the same time (maybe ice and hot carmamel or something)
 
DeSiRe said:
i hear on this board and the main one that women do a terrible job in picking men...being that most black men arent "thugs" and for the sake of this question assume that the general standard is the potential man has a job, his own car and place...how does a woman do a proper job in "vetting" a man...what questions should she ask? how long should it take till she figures out hes ok and award him the privileges (and by privilages i mean more than sex)

You should always judge a person by their actions. If he's going out of his way to do things for you without you having to ask then he's good. As far as questions, I personally would'nt want my girl interrogating me all at once with questions. Sparingly ask questions throughout the relationship.


i wanna explore this whole hunter thing...specifically the CHASE...how does a woman know the line between entertaining the chase and pushing the man away...should a woman play along with the chase or just let it happen?

The chase is pretty much the woman not letting the guy fuck and jump right into a relationship with him, but flirting and getting to know the guy making him feel like he earned you. Guys don't want what they feel like the next man could easily obtain. Just make us feel like we gotta earn you. Flirting is good. Pushing a man away would be acting too eager for a man blah blah

does a man need his ego stroked? well me. yea. sometimes

how come men who like dogs dont like little dogs? I like little dogs...everybody is different.

should a woman be concerned if a man has no close male friends? yes. she should

whats the best way to get a man to listen? Just get your point across without being extra with words. (man or woman)

why do men act like asshats...disappear for a month...then try to come back like nothing happened? MEN don't do that. Stop dealing with losers

why do men think its gay to get their prostate massaged by a woman? maybe cause it is? why would you do that to someone who doesn't like it?

why do men like to eat after sex? Cause sex is a workout!! We usually do most of the work.

whats the quickest way to make a man's heart melt? Being supportive and caring through good and bad times. Treat 'em like a baby lol. Just do nice things

would you enjoyed it if a woman stimulated your penis with something cold and warm at the same time (maybe ice and hot carmamel or something) IDK that's weird...
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answers in bold.
 
DeSiRe said:
i hear on this board and the main one that women do a terrible job in picking men...being that most black men arent "thugs" and for the sake of this question assume that the general standard is the potential man has a job, his own car and place...how does a woman do a proper job in "vetting" a man...what questions should she ask? how long should it take till she figures out hes ok and award him the privileges (and by privilages i mean more than sex)

i wanna explore this whole hunter thing...specifically the CHASE...how does a woman know the line between entertaining the chase and pushing the man away...should a woman play along with the chase or just let it happen?

does a man need his ego stroked?

how come men who like dogs dont like little dogs?

should a woman be concerned if a man has no close male friends?

whats the best way to get a man to listen?

why do men act like asshats...disappear for a month...then try to come back like nothing happened?

why do men think its gay to get their prostate massaged by a woman?

why do men like to eat after sex?

whats the quickest way to make a man's heart melt?

would you enjoyed it if a woman stimulated your penis with something cold and warm at the same time (maybe ice and hot carmamel or something)
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Disclaimer: These are my views only not to be construed as applying to all men, or most men, or some men, just me. Thank You

1. That's up to the woman. The questions should be related to the type of man you looking for, then confirmed with that C.I.A./F.B.I thing y'all do.
2. I'll use the track and field analogy. Some people(men and women) are sprinters, some are middle distance runners and some are marathoners. If there's a mismatch of types problems may develop in the chase. Hope that makes sense.
3. Doesn't everyone? Some more than others
4.:lol: Every time I see one of those little puff balls I wanna drop kick it 20 yards:lol:...Just kidding, they cool just don't ask me to walk one by myself in public.
5. Depends on how you look at it. Few male friends = no homo
6. I'll break it gently. If that's happening he doesn't value your opinion on the subject or he's said his peace and doesn't want to deal with the subject again.
7. Hard to say. If he fell off the face of the earth prolly went to explore another possibilty but it didn't work out.
8. I'll take the easy out and say individual taste.
9. IMO, if it's done right, sex expends alot of mental and physical energy that has to be replenished.
10. Find his top 5 pleasures/weaknesses then incorporate them into a single,limbic brain, no holds barred session.EDIT: If you're not careful in pursuing this question a lesser man will quickly turn into a stalker
11. Thanks , I'll pass this along to the wife.:D

oh yeah, about the limbic brain
http://biology.about.com/library/organs/brain/bllimbic.htm
 
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BigUnc said:
10. Find his top 5 pleasures/weaknesses then incorporate them into a single,limbic brain, no holds barred session.EDIT: If you're not careful in pursuing this question a lesser man will quickly turn into a stalker
oh yeah, about the limbic brain
http://biology.about.com/library/organs/brain/bllimbic.htm
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thanks for answering :)

would u mind elaborating on the limbic brain thingy...i clicked the link and im intrigued
 
DeSiRe said:
why do men dislike daddy's girls:(
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*raises hand

I wanna try this one.



Cause they don't want to continue to spoil the girl. They want to be spoiled. Or they may think chick is too high maintenance. I should know... *blush face




Am I right?! *looks for approval
 
DeSiRe said:
thanks for answering :)

would u mind elaborating on the limbic brain thingy...i clicked the link and im intrigued
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It's a matter of assaulting your partners pleasure centers through the 5 sensory inputs or by sensory deprivation and blurring the line between pain and pleasure. You can do several senses simultaneously, one at a time or a combination of any number you choose. You gotta know your partner because the chance of severing the connection between the limbic(primitive) brain and the pre frontal cortex(thinking)brain could have untoward consequences due to the powerful memories etched into the limbic portion. You got a good idea with the warm, cold thing. I was thinking umm with the wife blindfolded pouring heated oils along with some clit play but running an ice cube from the chin,down her neck,around her chest not forgetting the nipples, then slowly down the abdomen meeting with the warm input at the pussy. Stopping and letting her squirm for a minute or 2 then continuing again. Her favorite music in the air and some different aromas also.Whatever you can think of. You gotta figure out whether the person you want to do this with is willing to explore this and how much he/she can take at one time.
 
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BigUnc said:
It's a matter of assaulting your partners pleasure centers through the 5 sensory inputs or by sensory deprivation and blurring the line between pain and pleasure. You can do several senses simultaneously, one at a time or a combination of any number you choose. You gotta know your partner because the chance of severing the connection between the limbic(primitive) brain and the pre frontal cortex(thinking)brain could have untoward consequences due to the powerful memories etched into the limbic portion. You got a good idea with the warm, cold thing. I was thinking umm with the wife blindfolded pouring heated oils along with some clit play but running an ice cube from the chin,down her neck,around her chest not forgetting the nipples, then slowly down the abdomen meeting with the warm input at the pussy. Stopping and letting her squirm for a minute or 2 then continuing again. Her favorite music in the air and some different aromas also.Whatever you can think of. You gotta figure out whether the person you want to do this with is willing to explore this and how much he/she can take at one time.
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ok i was with u till u got to the bold...lol...u mind breaking that down just a little bit more from u

i think i understand the overall concept (i think)...pick a few things he likes (tastes, smells, feelings) and intensely incorporate them durring a session....does this session have to be sexual?

maybe u can give me a simple example of what u are talking about

as far as the hot cold thing...

i used ice cream and warm caramel and basically treated my boo's dick like a sundae...he seemed to like it

the ice cream was kinda messy...im sure ice would be just as fine...plus u can drip it and it wont be as messy and sticky

im sure your wifey will like it...u sound like a bad man:cool:
 
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BigUnc said:
I know , on it's face it seems a minor thing but the receiver of the message didn't take it that way and shit is now all effed up. Avoid the drama by giving a dose of courtesy and mention it sometime later in a more casual environment if the amount of cheese in the dish means that much to a person.

If it was me, a thanks this shows alot, accompanied by a big ole smile with a hug and kiss , sat down and gobbled down my almost perfect home cooked meal,then left it at that. Of course my mind would be racing regarding all the possibilities that need to be explored now that she has signaled that she wants to move forward. Try it one day and see where it gets you. Definitely won't hurt any.
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I feel what you saying and I respect you..But lets be real. Who is going to do all that over some Lasagna.
 
bigirl said:
Ok so what about a man whos baby mom is totally in control as if he is her bitch? Has to babysit every night at 11 so can never sleep over, can never have date at night, has to ask her permission to do anything or go anywhere! Cannot even go upstate for 2 days unless she says ok(which she never does)! She is like the fuhrer and she does whatever she wants and he just goes along with it but its like he in prison :confused:
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bigirl said:
Can't she is ruining my life
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  1. He COULD be using her as an exit strategy with you.
  2. she could be threatening him with not allowing him to see/spend time with his child.
  3. As was stated by someone else, she could be threatening to hit him with higher support than he is currently paying.
  4. contrary to how YOU feel, his relationship with his child is more important (or SHOULD BE) than your wants/desires/relationship with him.
  5. See everyone's previous posts concerning your choices in men.
 
BrownTurd said:
I feel what you saying and I respect you..But lets be real. Who is going to do all that over some Lasagna.
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It's not the Lasagna itself but the thought and effort that went behind it that has to be acknowledged. Take your eyes off the object in front of you and focus on why she's making this effort and why it's so important to her.
 
DV8ed said:
  1. He COULD be using her as an exit strategy with you.
  2. she could be threatening him with not allowing him to see/spend time with his child.
  3. As was stated by someone else, she could be threatening to hit him with higher support than he is currently paying.
  4. contrary to how YOU feel, his relationship with his child is more important (or SHOULD BE) than your wants/desires/relationship with him.
  5. See everyone's previous posts concerning your choices in men.
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Yep...because we as men know that the court system is not in mens favor when it comes to child cases. Some women are spiteful and can really do damage to a ordinary good brotha
 
DeSiRe said:
ok i was with u till u got to the bold...lol...u mind breaking that down just a little bit more from u

i think i understand the overall concept (i think)...pick a few things he likes (tastes, smells, feelings) and intensely incorporate them durring a session....does this session have to be sexual?

maybe u can give me a simple example of what u are talking about

as far as the hot cold thing...

i used ice cream and warm caramel and basically treated my boo's dick like a sundae...he seemed to like it

the ice cream was kinda messy...im sure ice would be just as fine...plus u can drip it and it wont be as messy and sticky

im sure your wifey will like it...u sound like a bad man:cool:
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Doesn't have to involve sex but it'll probably wind up there or he'll want to take it there.

An example of the hot cold thing? I'm probably talking about extremes of sensory inputs. Alternating the 2 on different parts of the body. I just had a thought. A feather running up and down my dick while hot oil is drip, drip, drip on my??? something...anywhere. That would be ummmmm torture:lol:

Alright back to the technical stuff. The thinking brain has an controlling and moderating influence over the primitive brain. Sever that connection and you've got a stalker on your hands or worse.

Thanks for the compliment.:D I think?...Is that a good bad or a bad good?...anyway you're bad also:cool:
 
BigUnc said:
It's not the Lasagna itself but the thought and effort that went behind it that has to be acknowledged. Take your eyes off the object in front of you and focus on why she's making this effort and why it's so important to her.
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What is so difficult about this for him to understand???????
 

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